Baseball game, 8/9/11

[MusicMan]

Martinez just hit HR#5 to take a 2-1 lead in the third.

[BizidyDizidy]

Think they said 4th on the broadcast?

[Lurch]

Martinez just hit HR#5 to take a 2-1 lead in the third.

Holy Hell... Welcome to the bigs!

[subnuclear]

Think they said 4th on the broadcast?

Mctaggart tweets 4th as well.

[remy]

If he keeps up anywhere near this pace he'll finish the season with the team lead in HR.

[OregonStrosFan]

Who is that JD Martinez kid they keep sending up there?!?

[remy]

Ka-Bogie!!!

[austro]

Think they said 4th on the broadcast?

4th in last 18 ABs, I think.

And now Bogusevic goes deep to CF.

[MusicMan]

Holy shit.  Bogusevic just homered over the upper yellow line - THE OTHER WAY.

[MusicMan]

Mctaggart tweets 4th as well.

Must have misheard.

[remy]

Holy shit.  Bogusevic just homered over the upper yellow line - THE OTHER WAY.

That had to be at least 430.

[Bench]

Must have misheard.

INEXCUSABLE

[austro]

INEXCUSABLE

It will never happen again.

[austro]

Somebody needs to tell the AZ folks that the Astros don't play in the Dome anymore.

[OregonStrosFan]

Bogusevic knocked the absolute crap outta that ball. WOW!!!

[remy]

Paredes is fast as hell.

Also, it always feels nice to watch our guys beat up on an '04 turdinal.

[Greg M]

Dammit.  I hate MLB blackout rules.  I'm a 7-hour drive from Phoenix.  Show me the damn series!

[NeilT]

Dammit.  I hate MLB blackout rules.  I'm a 7-hour drive from Phoenix.  Show me the damn series!

I thought they only blacked out Saturday's?

[Mr. Happy]

Bogusevic's shot was unbelievable. Great first big league dinger.

[austro]

I'm a 7-hour drive from Phoenix.

Hermosillo?

[EasTexAstro]

Did the Astros just have a beautiful play by a 3rd baseman?

[NeilT]

Did the Astros just have a beautiful play by a 3rd baseman?

That was fine. Thanks for putting it into context.

[EasTexAstro]

That was fine. Thanks for putting it into context.

It just seemed athletic.

[MusicMan]

It was a strong throw.

[Ron Brand]

It was a strong throw.

Dude's got a gun.

[Ron Brand]

It's a steep drop from Stephen Drew.

[EasTexAstro]

I will not insult them or degrade them, but the Dbacks are not what I was expecting in a contending team.

[Bench]

I thought they only blacked out Saturday's?

That's the fox blackout.  The regional blackouts are all the time.

[Ron Brand]

Man, Martinez has got some jolt in that bat.

[Ebby Calvin]

I will not insult them or degrade them, but the Dbacks are not what I was expecting in a contending team.

Been thinking the same thing.

[Ron Brand]

I will not insult them or degrade them, but the Dbacks are not what I was expecting in a contending team.

Neither are the Giants once you get past their staff.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Finally got to see the replay on Bogusevic's homer.  Holy shit, that was blistered.  Not just far, but got out in a hurry.

[Ron Brand]

Bloomquist Suicide Watch, Day 1.

[MusicMan]

Bloomquist Suicide Watch, Day 1.

Those responsible for fielding shortstop have been sacked.

[JaneDoe]

What a night for Bogusevic!

[BizidyDizidy]

Astros may be terrible, but we are better than these guys

[MusicMan]

Bogusevic has discovered an opposite field stroke out of fucking nowhere.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Remember, kids: having a porn 'stache is harmful to your ERA.

[Bench]

Bogey don't need no stinking badges.

[Ron Brand]

Wow, Houston picked a great time to go to Arizona.

[EasTexAstro]

...the Fu,,,,


Who are these guys?

[MusicMan]

Sanchez is slooooooow.

[austro]

Ball is jumping off of Bogusevic's bat tonight.

[MusicMan]

Astros may be terrible, but we are better than these guys

Whoa there.

[94CougarGrad]

Boooogey!

[Ron Brand]

Bogusevic has discovered an opposite field stroke out of fucking nowhere.

And Marquis is not a power pitcher. Bogusevic isn't late on these pitches, he's waiting and unloading.

Hope is the thing with feathers.

[BizidyDizidy]

What's Lyles ERA? Would this be back to back wins or did I miss one?

[94CougarGrad]

GOT HIM!!!

[MusicMan]

HOLY LIVING FUCK HOW DID MARTINEZ THROW HIM OUT

[Ron Brand]

What's Lyles ERA? Would this be back to back wins or did I miss one?

I cooked a chicken, but it was yesterday and I didn't kill it.

[EasTexAstro]

Who said JD sucks on defense? Damn.

[Bench]

Are the Astros playing inspired baseball?  Wow.

[Mr. Happy]

This is fun.. For now anyway. Remember, we're 39 games below .500.

[NeilT]

Of course these 2011 Astros have been known for thei outstanding defense.

[JaneDoe]

Um...wow.

[Bench]

This is fun.. For now anyway. Remember, we're 39 games below .500.

There's that good cheer we've all come to love.

[BizidyDizidy]

My wife sacrificed a pork butt tonight, so not sweating it

[MusicMan]

Of douse these 2011astros have been known for thei outstanding defense.

I'll have what he's having.

[JaneDoe]

Of douse these 2011astros have been known for thei outstanding defense.

Have much to drink?  Or does Fredia have her voodoo doll out again?

[EasTexAstro]

Of douse these 2011astros have been known for thei outstanding defense.

You are drunker than I am, or can't type.

[austro]

I'll have what he's having.

It's hard to type and play classical guitar at the same time.

[roadrunner]

No way Carlos + CJ would've made that play.

[MusicMan]

What's Lyles ERA? Would this be back to back wins or did I miss one?

Currently 4.25

[Bench]

It's hard to type and play classical guitar at the same time.

And bother people at different tables who are trying to eat their gnocchi.

[94CougarGrad]

This is fun.. For now anyway. Remember, we're 39 games below .500.

You know what? Tonight, I kinda don't care. This is fun to watch.

[EasTexAstro]

This is fun.. For now anyway. Remember, we're 39 games below .500.

It is not like we are going to catch up. Lets enjoy this.

[Ron Brand]

It is not like we are going to catch up. Lets enjoy this.

Words to live by.

[austro]

And bother people at different tables who are trying to eat their gnocchi.

I can't wait for the old guy to come over, sit down, and help himself to some of HH's wine.

[MusicMan]

It is not like we are going to catch up. Lets enjoy this.

Also live in the moment of spoiling penant chases.  (Offer apparently does not apply to Brewers.)

[NeilT]

I'm just blind, and typing w/o my reading glasses. And there was wine.

[remy]

You know what? Tonight, I kinda don't care. This is fun to watch.

These kids look incredibly confident the past couple nights.  It's as if someone switched their team breakfast from Froot Loops to Wheaties yesterday morning.

[EasTexAstro]

Words to live by.

I was actually meanin to quote NeilT....

[BizidyDizidy]

Team has to go 25-22 to avoid 100 losses I believe - won't complain if they make it 24-22

[94CougarGrad]

I'm just blind, and typing w/o my reading glasses. And there was wine.

Well, don't be rude. Offer some to the rest of us before we just take it.

[subnuclear]

These kids look incredibly confident the past couple nights.  It's as if someone switched their team breakfast from Froot Loops to Wheaties yesterday morning.

I think not playing the Brewers, who are pretty good this year, helps.

[Ron Brand]

I think not playing the Brewers, who are pretty good this year, helps.

Don't discount the contributions of Marquis and Bloomquist, but they're still hitting the ball, throwing it and running the bases.

[Mr. Happy]

There's that good cheer we've all come to love.

Didn't you notice that I was simply trying not to piss off the BBGs?

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Late to the party. But wow!

[Ebby Calvin]

Didn't you notice that I was simply trying not to piss off the BBGs?

Have you seen our record?  I think they're plenty pissed already.

[hostros7]

If Carlos had got to that ball I would have sworn that the Astros were going angels in the outfield on u, or whatever the equivalent that kid flicking ppl off at mmp us would wish for

[NeilT]

I was actually meanin to quote NeilT....

I've often wondered if Fredia had worse vision problems than me.

[JaneDoe]

Well, fuck.

[remy]

Ugh... Lyles really grooved that one to him.  Couldn't have set it up better on a tee.

[OregonStrosFan]

Ugh... Lyles really grooved that one to him.  Couldn't have set it up better on a tee.

Yep. UGH!

[Bench]

Didn't you notice that I was simply trying not to piss off the BBGs?

Jeez.  Try harder.

WTF?

ETA: The WTF refers to this 5th inning.

[MusicMan]

What's Lyles ERA? Would this be back to back wins or did I miss one?

ALL. YOUR. FAULT.

[hostros7]

Bbgs could not believe that anyone, ANYone would think there were a team more woeful than the Astros

Fuck

[NeilT]

Well, fuck.

Right.

[Jacksonian]

How many poorly hit balls this inning?

[OregonStrosFan]

The Upton hit was crushed, but some of the other hits were just plain unlucky...

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Dammit, it's slapdicking time.

[OregonStrosFan]

How many poorly hit balls this inning?

3 IIRC.

[EasTexAstro]

How many poorly hit balls this inning?

All but one, I think.

Or, you could say they were all good when they fall.

I still like it.

[94CougarGrad]

Didn't you notice that I was simply trying not to piss off the BBGs?

Fail!

[Mr. Happy]

Where's my buddy Chuck tonight? I miss him.

[remy]

Dammit, it's slapdicking time.

Or would it be "dickslapping"?  As in, "Excessive dickslapping may result in slapdickery."

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

B Brow just said An Rod might be the starter tomorrow,

[Ebby Calvin]

Fail!

I'll take the heat from Happy on this one.

[remy]

How many poorly hit balls this inning?

3, and one ill advised changeup over the plate on a 1-2 count vs a free swinger.

[hostros7]

Astros may be terrible, but we are better than these guys

Not only are the dbacks better than the astros, they are also what the Astros aspire to be if the "three year plan" works out

[austro]

B Brow just said An Rod might be the starter tomorrow,

Let's go, Roddy!

[MusicMan]

Bbgs could not believe that anyone, ANYone would think there were a team more woeful than the Astros

This is like Icarus' wings melting  a foot off the ground.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

The BBGs have forsaken this team, so Fuck Them.

[JaneDoe]

B Brow just said An Rod might be the starter tomorrow,

Stop. Now.

[MusicMan]

B Brow just said An Rod might be the starter tomorrow,

BB: AnRod m/b SP tm.

[hostros7]

So, you're given the chance to evaporate the red haired subway guy who has a 9 year old locked in his closet at home or the communicationaly inept flash mob dancer... Who do you choose?

I go subway guy.  In my mind, the flash mob guy is really just the landlord from big lebowski, that branched out to flash mobs in an effort to make friends and maybe meet a nice lady friend.  He's pure of heart and his own biggest critic, enagaged in intense self flagellation as a result of believing his latest timing gaffe has blown his best shot with miss cute auburn tresses mob dancer.

[The Spleen]

The BBGs have forsaken this team, so Fuck Them.

"Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that we stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you! "

[Ron Brand]

So, you're given the chance to evaporate the red haired subway guy who has a 9 year old locked in his closet at home or the communicationaly inept flash mob dancer... Who do you choose?

I go subway guy.  In my mind, the flash mob guy is really just the landlord from big lebowski, that branched out to flash mobs in an effort to make friends and maybe meet a nice lady friend.  He's pure of heart and his own biggest critic, enagaged in intense self flagellation as a result of believing his latest timing gaffe has blown his best shot with miss cute auburn tresses mob dancer.

Neither. It's the Miller High Life guy.

[MusicMan]

"Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that we stood against many. That's what's important! Valor pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you! "

I say fuck you, JoBu.

[MusicMan]

So, you're given the chance to evaporate the red haired subway guy who has a 9 year old locked in his closet at home or the communicationaly inept flash mob dancer... Who do you choose?

I go subway guy.  In my mind, the flash mob guy is really just the landlord from big lebowski, that branched out to flash mobs in an effort to make friends and maybe meet a nice lady friend.  He's pure of heart and his own biggest critic, enagaged in intense self flagellation as a result of believing his latest timing gaffe has blown his best shot with miss cute auburn tresses mob dancer.

I go with the assholes that sent a simple time change via PDF.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

 In my mind, the flash mob guy is really just the landlord from big lebowski, that branched out to flash mobs in an effort to make friends and maybe meet a nice lady friend.  He's pure of heart and his own biggest critic, enagaged in intense self flagellation as a result of believing his latest timing gaffe has blown his best shot with miss cute auburn tresses mob dancer.

I really hope the motherfucker is wearing a hairshirt. He fucked up. And the camera man, he needs a hairshirt too.

[Jacksonian]

Lyles struggled with his location tonight, but I'm excited to see how good he can be in 5 years.

[austro]

I go with the assholes that sent a simple time change via PDF.

I thought it was a Flash object at first, but since the phone didn't crash, you're probably right.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I go with the assholes that sent a simple time change via PDF.

Good point, they should have know what a dumb fucking turd flash mob guy was and called him.

[hostros7]

Neither. It's the Miller High Life guy.

Racist.  Who doesn't like a tubby, jocular, African-American guy toting suds?

/miller marketing

P.s. Is "jocular" a racially charged term?  I'm just a scrappy white guy, so I apologize in advance if so.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Hockey.

[JaneDoe]

Well, shit.  And fuck.

[Ebby Calvin]

Well fuck. Duck, Sphinx.

[austro]

Well, sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

[MusicMan]

Tie game, and this is entirely Biz's fault.

[Mr. Happy]

Wilton Lopez seems to always allow inherited runners to score-14/24.

[MusicMan]

Wilton Lopez seems to always allow inherited runners to score-14/24.

Balancing out his 2010 season.

[94CougarGrad]

Aw, shee-yit.

The FTCubs did lose at home today, though, so... there's that.

[Jacksonian]

Tie game, and this is entirely Biz's fault.

Isn't everything that goes wrong?

[Ron Brand]

Fucking hell.

[JaneDoe]

Double shit.  And triple fuck.

[remy]

Wilton Lopez seems to always allow inherited runners to score-14/24.

And then some.  Fuck.  Shitfuck.

[hostros7]

Yikes, uptown tonned that one

[Mr. Happy]

Fucking Lopez. You deserve to lose this game.

[94CougarGrad]

Sigh. And, then, there's THAT. Christ.

JD: This isn't baseball, it's pinball!

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Fuck that shit, there ain't no magic mumbo jumbo shit going on. No power force gives a shit. It's a game. One team will play better than the other, and that's the one who wins almost all the time.

[Ron Brand]

Fuck that shit, there ain't no magic mumbo jumbo shit going on. No power force gives a shit. It's a game. One team will play better than the other, and that's the one who wins almost all the time.

Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

[94CougarGrad]

C'mon, you bastards, fight back with the bats.

[Ebby Calvin]

Fuck that shit, there ain't no magic mumbo jumbo shit going on. No power force gives a shit. It's a game. One team will play better than the other, and that's the one who wins almost all the time.

Here, Sphinx. Hold this metal rod in the air while you say that.  I'll be standing over there.

[hostros7]

I wonder if owings knows he has a landing strip on his chin

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

If this team had a half ass bullpen, they wouldn't have ran out an obviously gassed Lyles in the 6th. But oh well.

[94CougarGrad]

I wonder if owings knows he has a landing strip on his chin

Or a ball sack for a chin.

[JaneDoe]

Paredes!!

[Ron Brand]

Paredes!

[94CougarGrad]

Paredes!!

Fantastic time for his 1st MLB long ball!

[MusicMan]

Here, Sphinx. Hold this metal rod in the air while you say that.  I'll be standing over there.

Lisa, I'd like to buy your rock.

[94CougarGrad]

Olééé, olé olé olé. O-lé, o-lé.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

If I offended anyone, I apologize. You wanna blame me fine, I'll take responsibility. But I'm not sorry.

[Ron Brand]

If I offended anyone, I apologize. You wanna blame me fine, I'll take responsibility. But I'm not sorry.

You gotta not take this seriously. Besides, it was Biz.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

You gotta not take this seriously. Besides, it was Biz.

Yeah, well I'll do it again then. Probably more than once.

[Mr. Happy]

You gotta not take this seriously. Besides, it was Biz.

Agreed.

[hostros7]

Millsy needs to stop w all the fucking pitching changes traveling on the west coast, playing late, 40 games below .500

The 121 or so remaining fans are struggling.

[Ebby Calvin]

You gotta not take this seriously. Besides, it was Biz.

Yep.  Just giving you shit.

[94CougarGrad]

Eek, Carlos, hands off the junk, and stuff.

[Ron Brand]

Fucking Parra. Four hits.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I know. I'm not. But gwaddamnit can't they get that fucker out.

[Ron Brand]

Nice play by Altuve.

[94CougarGrad]

Wow, nice snag by short stuff.

[hostros7]

Altuve, sweet play to end th inning

[JaneDoe]

Millsy

I really hate that nickname.  And all the other y-ones.  and the _____-Rod ones.  Can't anyone come up with something fucking original?

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Al Fucking Tuve

[Ebby Calvin]

Al Fucking Tuve

Previous sins forgiven.

[hostros7]

I really hate that nickname.  And all the other y-ones.  and the _____-Rod ones.  Can't anyone come up with something fucking original?

The Gila Monster?

[NeilT]

Al Fucking Tuve

That's Tuv-y, right

[Ron Brand]

I really hate that nickname.  And all the other y-ones.  and the _____-Rod ones.  Can't anyone come up with something fucking original?

Y-Rod doesn't really work. A-Roddy?

[Anit]

that was a complete clusterfuck of a play

[remy]

Slapdickery left and right by the Snakes!

[hostros7]

I cant believe what I just saw

[Ron Brand]

You can wait all year and never see a play like that one.

[MusicMan]

This is little league shit.  This team is in the playoff hunt?

[JaneDoe]

wow.  just wow.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Perfectly executed.

[OregonStrosFan]

Wow, how was that for some slapdickery?!? Amazing!

[JaneDoe]

Does Altuve looks like Hampton without the facial hair to anyone else?

[BudGirl]

Fucking Parra. Four hits.

guess i'm glad i started him today.

[Ron Brand]

Well, that blew.

[JackAstro]

That was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. Rarely has the word "clusterfuck" been so inadequate.

[Ron Brand]

Nerts.

[JaneDoe]

Holy crap.

[remy]

That was a very borderline call, fucking CB should have at least asked down to 1B.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

That was a very borderline call, fucking CB should have at least asked down to 1B.

C B Bucknor

[Ron Brand]

Bogey! Take a pitch!

[Ron Brand]

Oh what bullshit.

[remy]

Wow.  Just wow.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

What a fucked up crew.

[JackAstro]

Hey, at least Bucknor didn't call it.

[MusicMan]

Why, oh why am I staying up to recap this?

[JackAstro]

Why, oh why am I staying up to recap this?

No shit. They're giving you tons and tons of material, though.

[Ron Brand]

Why, oh why am I staying up to recap this?

I'm getting up early to read it.

[OregonStrosFan]

Even Buchnor thought that was a shitty call... AMAZING!

[Ron Brand]

So he's going with Aneury, and in the meantime he's going to boil the bullpen. Ok.

[Ron Brand]

Oh look, it's the Illustrated Man.

[JaneDoe]

Oh look, it's the Illustrated Man.

funny

[hostros7]

It's going to suck when the stros are down 7 in the top of the ninth.  I was at least hoping for some more drama

[Ron Brand]

Paredes is looking good out there.

[remy]

Well I feel better now... at least we'd be losing again anyway if we'd tied it at 9.

[hostros7]

Paredes doesn't look too shabby over there

[JaneDoe]

Paredes is looking good out there.

Might as well try the intentional jinx..

[Ron Brand]

Might as well try the intentional jinx..

CB Bucknor is a fantastic umpire.

[JackAstro]

I'm getting up early to read it.

Hey MM, could you possibly work the words "serial clusterdickslapfuckery" in there somewhere? Thanks.

[remy]

Might as well try the intentional jinx..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FUB8SrlQAE

[Ron Brand]

The fucking Fiat of bullpens.

[Ron Brand]

Nice inning, Rodriguez. Go get yourself an ice cream.

[hostros7]

I haven't seen a ton of that Rodriguez, but does it seem lik it might be a good idea for him to throw that hook a little more frequently?

[Ron Brand]

If your name is Putz, how could you not change your name?

[Ron Brand]

Barmes!

[MusicMan]

Well fuck me... Barmes 3 feet short of tying it.

[hostros7]

Hmmm

[Mr. Happy]

We're at least hanging tough.

[hostros7]

2-0 pitch showed ome respect

[MusicMan]

JA, Bucknor just showed where you get your phrase.

[Ron Brand]

This umpiring crew is a hell of an opponent.

[hostros7]

FUCK YOU, cb

[Ron Brand]

All down to Al Fucking Tuve.

[MusicMan]

Only one hit tonight?  That is not Altuve.

[Rebel Jew]

that was some serious bullshit

[hostros7]

CB wants to go home, take yer hacks

[MusicMan]

Jose, try staying on your feet.

[MusicMan]

FUCK.  Outstanding play by Putz.  Ballgame.

[Rebel Jew]

altuve's gotta know they were setting him up for something low

[Mr. Happy]

Shitfuck.

[Ron Brand]

Ah well. Hung with them, scared 'em despite the shitty umpiring. Got some hits, made some plays.

Fuck 'em. Go get 'em tomorrow boys.

[chuck]

Where's my buddy Chuck tonight? I miss him.

Sorry, dude. I got back home in time to see JD smash his fourth but brought my game watching computer downstairs to hang out with my guests but did not bring my SNS computer in order to celebrate and commiserate with you kooks. Tomorrow I'll bring them both down whilst I boil the octopus.

[BizidyDizidy]

Don't blame me - everything was fine until I fell asleep, then you fuckers totally lost control of the situation

[MusicMan]

Hey MM, could you possibly work the words "serial clusterdickslapfuckery" in there somewhere? Thanks.

You're welcome.