Author Topic: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6  (Read 4423 times)

Limey

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Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« on: September 06, 2010, 01:14:58 pm »
For those who haven't seen my preview yet, here's the extract for today's game:

Quote
Game #1:  Rodriguez (11-12, 3.71) vs Coleman (1-1, 5.76)

Wandy gets the ball in the series opener, an afternoon event that doesn’t necessarily mean that the idiots in the bleachers won’t be already wasted and punchy.  2-1 of late, with a fabulous ERA of 1.35, the lefty has avoided his typical exaggerated home-road split this year.  For proof, look no further than a record of 8-2 over his last 13 starts, home and road.  For his career, he’s 5-4 in 15 starts against the Schlubs, sporting an ERA of 3.meh.  He handles Fukudome well and only Errormiss really does any damage, still only at a paltry .241 clip (no dingers).

Rookie righty Casey Coleman has 7 big league appearances to his name, 3 of which are starts.  Both his decisions came as a starter, with a loss to the Padres followed up by a win against the Gnats with a 6.1, 3-hit, 1 run effort.  He doesn’t walk many, but doesn’t strike out many either (Mr. Coleman, say hello to Mr. Pence), and is prone, therefore to throw a lot of pitches, relative to his innings pitched.  Obviously, there’s no history in the bigs with him and the Astros.
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Bench

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2010, 01:27:13 pm »
I thought Gary Coleman died.
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Lurch

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2010, 01:27:54 pm »
Fuck the cubs!
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Anit

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2010, 01:39:56 pm »
big johnson! he crushed that.

Lurch

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2010, 01:40:04 pm »
BIG FUCKING JOHNSON
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Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2010, 01:40:12 pm »
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Craig

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #6 on: September 06, 2010, 01:42:05 pm »
There were so few Bleacher Bums in the leftfield stands, Johnson's homer had to throw itself back onto the field.

Lurch

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #7 on: September 06, 2010, 01:43:09 pm »
Matt Downs?
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Lurch

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #8 on: September 06, 2010, 01:45:43 pm »
Bwa ha ha ha ha.
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Lurch

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #9 on: September 06, 2010, 01:50:54 pm »
Self Destruction 101
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Ron Brand

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2010, 01:54:25 pm »
Beating the crap out of the hapless Cubs would be a great way to spend Labor Day.
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Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2010, 02:13:23 pm »
Coleman was clearly the worst guy in the rotation to follow the 18-run bullpen meltdown.   Let's beat him up while the Cubs let him swing in the wind.  Be aggressive, Wandy, and get him back out there asafp!
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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2010, 02:16:51 pm »
Smoked boudin on a fresh tortilla is a good way to accompany this game.
I'm in love with rock and roll and I'll be out all night.

Ron Brand

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #13 on: September 06, 2010, 02:18:15 pm »
Ha. Brownie just said that the new FTC owners have said that the decline in attendance will affect their payroll next season.

Hahahhahahahahahaaaaaa...
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Ron Brand

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #14 on: September 06, 2010, 02:19:47 pm »
Well that sucked but Lee is a lot more acrobatic around first than I could have ever dreamed.
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Lurch

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #15 on: September 06, 2010, 02:20:36 pm »
well fuck
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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #16 on: September 06, 2010, 02:20:46 pm »
Well, fuck. 4-3 now.
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HudsonHawk

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #17 on: September 06, 2010, 02:21:12 pm »
well fuck

After two balls on the infield that should have been outs.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #18 on: September 06, 2010, 02:22:37 pm »
After two balls on the infield that should have been outs.

Yup.  Very much unlike the revamped Astros. 
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #19 on: September 06, 2010, 02:23:47 pm »
Yup.  Very much unlike the revamped Astros. 

They were both touch chances, but very well could have been outs too.  Tough breaks.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Lurch

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #20 on: September 06, 2010, 02:24:15 pm »
After two balls on the infield that should have been outs.

Not knocking Lee, because his bat has really come around, but theres just no place for him on this team.  I'm ready to see Wallace at first every day rather than this platoon
I wish the first word I had said when I was born was 'quote'. Then before I die, I could say, 'unquote.' --Steven Wright

HudsonHawk

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #21 on: September 06, 2010, 02:25:26 pm »
Not knocking Lee, because his bat has really come around, but theres just no place for him on this team.  I'm ready to see Wallace at first every day rather than this platoon

LF is a fine place for Lee.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Lurch

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #22 on: September 06, 2010, 02:26:42 pm »
LF is a fine place for Lee.

But the kids... won't someone PLEASE think of the children!
I wish the first word I had said when I was born was 'quote'. Then before I die, I could say, 'unquote.' --Steven Wright

Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #23 on: September 06, 2010, 02:31:34 pm »
Astros playing fundamentally UNsound baseball.  Must be something in the water up there.
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Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #24 on: September 06, 2010, 02:35:47 pm »
Lead-off double that could've been a triple, a no-out bunt, out at home by a mile on a FC grounder and a whiff.  Who are these guys?
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #25 on: September 06, 2010, 02:39:39 pm »
Lead-off double that could've been a triple, a no-out bunt, out at home by a mile on a FC grounder and a whiff.  Who are these guys?

Cubbism is a disease, as every bit contagious as syphillis.
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HudsonHawk

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #26 on: September 06, 2010, 02:40:10 pm »
Damn that's a sweet 'stache on that Astros fan...Scraps is proud.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

HudsonHawk

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #27 on: September 06, 2010, 02:45:55 pm »
BTW...Shiner Oktoberfest is here.  Having a few today.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #28 on: September 06, 2010, 02:47:23 pm »
BTW...Shiner Oktoberfest is here.  Having a few today.

Your taste buds will thank you.   Your wife's nostrils will not.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Bench

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #29 on: September 06, 2010, 02:48:28 pm »
BTW...Shiner Oktoberfest is here.  Having a few today.

They have it on tap at Griff's.
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #30 on: September 06, 2010, 02:49:33 pm »
They have it on tap at Griff's.

HoSS tomorrow night?
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #31 on: September 06, 2010, 02:50:33 pm »
They have it on tap at Griff's.

Sweet.  Things are a littler slower to make it out west, so it was a nice surprise to find it here already.  I'll take what I can get.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Bench

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #32 on: September 06, 2010, 02:52:54 pm »
HoSS tomorrow night?

Assuming I accomplish what I need to do at the office today instead of just following the game in the GZ, then presumably I'll still be employed and thus won't be able to make it tomorrow. 
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #33 on: September 06, 2010, 02:53:03 pm »
JD:  Al Capone got away with murder here, but you don't get a bunt down and you'll hear about it. 

Oh, and shit-fuck.
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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #34 on: September 06, 2010, 02:53:32 pm »
Damn, that was a shot Baker hit.
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Lurch

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #35 on: September 06, 2010, 02:53:51 pm »
Dammit.  Good guys should be up by a dozen on these fuckwads
I wish the first word I had said when I was born was 'quote'. Then before I die, I could say, 'unquote.' --Steven Wright

Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #36 on: September 06, 2010, 02:54:13 pm »
Assuming I accomplish what I need to do at the office today instead of just following the game in the GZ, then presumably I'll still be employed and thus won't be able to make it tomorrow. 

So, it's on if you get fired.  Cool.

Or Wednesday?
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #37 on: September 06, 2010, 02:54:31 pm »
Via McTaggart:  The three runs allowed by Rodriguez this [the third] inning are his most in any GAME since July 19 ... at Wrigley Field, a span of 10 starts.

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Bench

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #38 on: September 06, 2010, 02:55:40 pm »
So, it's on if you get fired.  Cool.

Or Wednesday?

There will be much drinking if I'm suddenly fired.

Either way, I still can't quite commit to Wednesday.  I'll know tomorrow.
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

Ron Brand

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #39 on: September 06, 2010, 02:56:11 pm »
Castro is looking like horseshit behind the plate today.
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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #40 on: September 06, 2010, 02:57:27 pm »
Castro is looking like horseshit behind the plate today.

Wandy crossed him up there.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Ron Brand

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #41 on: September 06, 2010, 02:58:20 pm »
Wandy crossed him up there.

I know, but he still had his glove in the right place and he was looking at the ball and missed it anyway.
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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #42 on: September 06, 2010, 02:59:13 pm »
I know, but he still had his glove in the right place and he was looking at the ball and missed it anyway.

Cause Wandy crossed him up.  He was expecting a different pitch.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

HudsonHawk

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #43 on: September 06, 2010, 03:00:30 pm »
Castro swings at a lot of bad pitches.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #44 on: September 06, 2010, 03:01:15 pm »
Cause Wandy crossed him up.  He was expecting a different pitch.

What I'm saying is that he reacted to being crossed up correctly but still missed it. He missed one earlier and has shown a tendency to stab at wide pitches instead of moving in front of them.
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hostros7

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #45 on: September 06, 2010, 03:02:18 pm »
BTW...Shiner Oktoberfest is here.  Having a few today.

Haven't tried the Shiner yet, but the Real Ale Okto is delicious.

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #46 on: September 06, 2010, 03:03:08 pm »
What I'm saying is that he reacted to being crossed up correctly but still missed it. He missed one earlier and has shown a tendency to stab at wide pitches instead of moving in front of them.

I don't think he reacted at all to being crossed up.  He didn't even get his glove on it.  The ball was by him before he realized what happened.  When you're expecting a Wandy Rodriguez breaking ball and get his fastball, you're basically fucked.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #47 on: September 06, 2010, 03:03:49 pm »
Alright..Bourn gotta take a bag here.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #48 on: September 06, 2010, 03:07:03 pm »
I don't think he reacted at all to being crossed up.  He didn't even get his glove on it.  The ball was by him before he realized what happened.  When you're expecting a Wandy Rodriguez breaking ball and get his fastball, you're basically fucked.

I'll give you that one because I'm going on a cumulative judgement that he needs to pick it up defensively overall. He's got a good arm but his throws seem to me to be high lately, consistently. And it drives me nuts to see him stab at a pitch away that might skip by when runners are on. My experience at catcher was limited and I know yours wasn't, so maybe you have a better read on it. I'm just not as impressed as I was when he first came up.

And when I typed this, Soto waved at a pitchout and missed it completely. But he didn't get booed. Fucking toolbags.
I'm in love with rock and roll and I'll be out all night.

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #49 on: September 06, 2010, 03:08:46 pm »
I'll give you that one because I'm going on a cumulative judgement that he needs to pick it up defensively overall. He's got a good arm but his throws seem to me to be high lately, consistently. And it drives me nuts to see him stab at a pitch away that might skip by when runners are on. My experience at catcher was limited and I know yours wasn't, so maybe you have a better read on it. I'm just not as impressed as I was when he first came up.

And when I typed this, Soto waved at a pitchout and missed it completely. But he didn't get booed. Fucking toolbags.

I agree that Castro can be a little sloppy back there.  I just think he didn't stand a chance on that one.  Soto tried to throw it before he caught it. 
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #50 on: September 06, 2010, 03:16:14 pm »
Lee motors to stretch a single into a double!

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #51 on: September 06, 2010, 03:20:22 pm »
Terrible strike three call on Bogey, but his approach didn't seem to indicate anything promising to come anyways

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #52 on: September 06, 2010, 03:20:48 pm »
HPU has been calling wide strikes away from him the whole game.
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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #53 on: September 06, 2010, 03:21:44 pm »
Terrible strike three call on Bogey, but his approach didn't seem to indicate anything promising to come anyways

At least he only made one out this time.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #54 on: September 06, 2010, 03:24:25 pm »
Terrible strike three call on Bogey, but his approach didn't seem to indicate anything promising to come anyways

"Bogey" isnt going to work.  We need something else

BB?
I wish the first word I had said when I was born was 'quote'. Then before I die, I could say, 'unquote.' --Steven Wright

Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #55 on: September 06, 2010, 03:24:52 pm »
HPU has been calling wide strikes away from him the whole game.

Odd shaped zone.  High and in = good; low and away = good (at least one) down the middle <> good.
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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #56 on: September 06, 2010, 03:25:41 pm »
"Bogey" isnt going to work.  We need something else

BB?

Goosey. 
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

HudsonHawk

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #57 on: September 06, 2010, 03:27:14 pm »
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Ron Brand

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #58 on: September 06, 2010, 03:27:48 pm »
I'm in love with rock and roll and I'll be out all night.

Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #59 on: September 06, 2010, 03:35:42 pm »
Ickey.

Vichy, because he's surrendered a lot today. 
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #60 on: September 06, 2010, 03:36:26 pm »
Vichy, because he's surrendered a lot today. 

Nice.
I'm in love with rock and roll and I'll be out all night.

HudsonHawk

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #61 on: September 06, 2010, 03:40:54 pm »
Well fuck.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

hostros7

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #62 on: September 06, 2010, 03:41:02 pm »
fuck

Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #63 on: September 06, 2010, 03:41:06 pm »
Fuck shit
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #64 on: September 06, 2010, 03:41:13 pm »
Fuck. All the way onto Waveland.
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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #65 on: September 06, 2010, 03:41:27 pm »
He pissed on that one

Ron Brand

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #66 on: September 06, 2010, 03:42:37 pm »
Time to make the Marmolade.
I'm in love with rock and roll and I'll be out all night.

HudsonHawk

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #67 on: September 06, 2010, 03:43:31 pm »
Time to make the Marmolade.

Yep.  Gotta rattle the bats here.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Ron Brand

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #68 on: September 06, 2010, 03:44:42 pm »
With that wind, just getting the ball in the air ought to do it.
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Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #69 on: September 06, 2010, 03:45:35 pm »
With that wind, just getting the ball in the air ought to do it.

Especially if it's to Soriano.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

HudsonHawk

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #70 on: September 06, 2010, 03:46:23 pm »
Wouldn't have minded seeing Bourn lay one down there.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Ron Brand

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #71 on: September 06, 2010, 03:46:54 pm »
Fuck.
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Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #72 on: September 06, 2010, 03:47:27 pm »
Eminently winnable game slipping below the waves.  Bugger.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Ron Brand

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #73 on: September 06, 2010, 03:47:40 pm »
Shitfuck. Pound that Budweiser and get 'em tomorrow.
I'm in love with rock and roll and I'll be out all night.

HudsonHawk

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #74 on: September 06, 2010, 03:48:14 pm »
Kepp and Pence with terrible at bats.  Both swinging at first pitch balls, when the Astros desperately needed a base runner. 

Fuck and Shit.  In all their possible combinations.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Ron Brand

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #75 on: September 06, 2010, 03:48:43 pm »
Eminently winnable game slipping below the waves.  Bugger.

That sucked. Bats went to sleep after starting so well. And what a shitty approach on those last two at-bats.
I'm in love with rock and roll and I'll be out all night.

Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #76 on: September 06, 2010, 03:50:56 pm »
That sucked. Bats went to sleep after starting so well. And what a shitty approach on those last two at-bats.

Shitty approach ever since the 3rd inning. 
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Limey

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #77 on: September 06, 2010, 03:53:49 pm »
Jakes just put 6 on the Brewers.  Looks like 3rd place is safe for today.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

MusicMan

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Re: Astros at Cubs, Sept 6
« Reply #78 on: September 07, 2010, 10:11:53 am »
"Bogey" isnt going to work.  We need something else

BB?

Poor man's Ankiel?
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.