8/2/2010 - Astros at CoArds

[seib22]

Astros go down in order in the top half of the first. Heading to the bottom. If anyone cares..

[Lurch]

You cant get that weak ass shit past Ke.... oh

[Anit]

what a clusterfuck

[HudsonHawk]

Fuck.  Two pitches, three errors.

[seib22]

Bot 1st - no score

Lopez - grounder under Kepp's glove for what is ruled a base hit.

[Lurch]

How are they expected to play good ball in clown shoes and rubber noses?

[Alkie]

Yowza.    It appears everyone is taking night off tonight.

Including HPO.

[seib22]

Pooholes bouncer to SS, out at first. John Jay takes off from 2nd and Wallace guns him easily at 3b. double play.

[HudsonHawk]

Bot 1st - no score

Lopez - grounder under Kepp's glove for what is ruled a base hit.

It was ruled E4.

[Ron Brand]

This isn't Little League, you fucks. Making the Astros throw the ball won't result in a bunch of...

Fuck.

[Gizzmonic]

Did the Cards decide to give the Good Guys a do-over?

[seib22]

Holliday - walks

[remy]

Well that could have been a lot worse.

[seib22]

Rasmus - foulout to Q. 3 outs. 1-0 Cards.

[seib22]

It was ruled E4.

Yes, my mistake, was indeed an E4.

[seib22]

Top 2 - 1-0 CoArds

Lee - hit through the right side. 1 on, no out.

[JaneDoe]

Pooholes bouncer to SS, out at first. John Jay takes off from 2nd and Wallace guns him easily at 3b. double play.

Nice play by Wallace.

[Ron Brand]

Obviously there is no way the Astros are going to win tonight. The best they could hope for is to not get embarrassed any more than they already have been.

[seib22]

Keppinger - bouncer back to Westbrook for the 1-6-3 dp. 2 down.

[HudsonHawk]

Boy, Kepp sure didn't have any intention of running that ground ball out did he. 

[seib22]

Wallace - hbp back leg. Hard to miss this dude's legs. 1 on, 2 out.

[seib22]

CJ - K swinging. 3 outs.

[Alkie]

Wallace is the smallest white rhino I've ever seen.

[Lurch]

Wallace is the smallest white rhino I've ever seen.

First time I've seen him.  I don't know why (racist?) but I thought he was black.  So, that was a surprise

[seib22]

Bot 2, 1-0 Turds

Yadier - 6-3 groundout. 1 down.

[seib22]

Schumaker - lineout to SS du jour Hernandez. 2 away.

[seib22]

Westbrook - K swinging, 3 outs.

[Alkie]

First time I've seen him.  I don't know why (racist?) but I thought he was black.  So, that was a surprise

It's funny because I thought he was a chick, so you can imagine the look on my face.

[seib22]

Top 3,1-0 Cards

Kepp's error has been taken away and Lopez has been awarded a hit.

[seib22]

Q - 5-3 slow roller. 1 away.

[seib22]

Myers - K swinging, 2 outs.

[seib22]

Bourn - 4-3 groundout, 3 down.

[Limey]

It's funny because I thought he was a chick, so you can imagine the look on my face.

Baby got back.

[seib22]

Bot 3, 1-0 Redbirds

Brendon Ryan - flyout to Bourn. 1 out.

[seib22]

Lopez - flyout to Lee. 2 away.

[Limey]

Is La Genius still doing that pitcher batting 8th thing?  Still?

[Alkie]

I think I prefer NarWallace to Walrus.

[Alkie]

Is La Genius still doing that pitcher batting 8th thing?  Still?

It wins titles.

And it's indefensibly stupid.

[seib22]

He ain't a LaGenius for nothing.

[seib22]

John Jay - K swinging, 3 down.

[Lurch]

And it's indefensibly stupid.

God I hope Arky agrees with you

[Lurch]

Hernandez looks like he knows what to do with a bat

[seib22]

Top 4, 1-0 STL

Hernandez - shoots one down the 3b line for a stand up double. 1 on, 0 out.

[seib22]

Pence - rolls over another one and beats it out. Hernandez to third. 1st and 3rd, 0 out...

[Lurch]

It's funny because I thought he was a chick, so you can imagine the look on my face.

I got Hernandez right.

[seib22]

Lee - K swinging, Pence steals 2nd. 1 out.

[Ron Brand]

Come on Kepp, make 'em pay.

[Ron Brand]

Fuck. Inside AND low.

[austro]

That's no strike!

[Ron Brand]

Take that, Westbrook. Keep fucking around and they're gonna go Randy Wolf on you.

[seib22]

Kepp - hits it to Westbrook, he falls down and recovers to throw Kepp out. Run scores. 1-1. Pence to 3b. 2 outs.

[Ron Brand]

Austro, you are particularly sneaky.

[austro]

Austro, you are particularly sneaky.

I've been waiting for you to notice.

[Gizzmonic]

Is La Genius still doing that pitcher batting 8th thing?  Still?

I heard the other day that he's never done it in a postseason game.  Anyone know that for a fact?

[Ron Brand]

My eyes! Gaaaaaah!

[austro]

Wallace looks like the anti-Pence at the plate.

[Ron Brand]

Target Practice Night!

[Limey]

Take that, Westbrook. Keep fucking around and they're gonna go Randy Wolf on you.

Ditto.

[seib22]

Wallace - liner off Westbrook's arse. RBI infield hit. 2-1 Astros.

[Limey]

Wallace looks like the anti-Pence at the plate.

Dare I say it...like an upright, reversed Bagwell. 

[seib22]

CJ - grounder to 3b and Lopez forces Wallace at 2b. 3 outs. Astros take the lead on Wallace's first MLB RBI. 2-1 Good Guys.

[Ron Brand]

Dare I say it...like an upright, reversed Bagwell. 

Ok, let's get him a hand pad NOW.

[OregonStrosFan]

Joining the party late, as usual. PBP was a big help catching up, thanks!

[HudsonHawk]

Dare I say it...like an upright, reversed Bagwell. 

Wallace kind of looks like Bagwell too.  Meaning they're both as ugly as a mud fence.

[seib22]

Bot 4, 2-1 Astros

PooHoles - no doubter. game tied 2-2

[austro]

Well, fuck.

[Limey]

Joining the party late, as usual. PBP was a big help catching up, thanks!

Nothing can do justice to the slapdickery of the first two pitches in B1.

[HudsonHawk]

You know...this Pujols kid can hit a little.  If he keeps this up, pitchers might not want to throw him a cookie right down the center of the plate.

[austro]

Nothing can do justice to the slapdickery of the first two pitches in B1.

It looked like T-ball.

[Limey]

Wallace kind of looks like Bagwell too.  Meaning they're both as ugly as a mud fence.

He and Hernandez will get the "Marla" treatment.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Fuck Pooholes

[austro]

You know...this Pujols kid can hit a little.  If he keeps this up, pitchers might not want to throw him a cookie right down the center of the plate.

That had to be the last place he was expecting it.

[MusicMan]

Dare I say it...like an upright, reversed Bagwell. 

Don't piss into the wind.
Don't tug on Superman's cape.
Don't compare rookies to Jeffrey Robert Bagwell.

[MusicMan]

You know...this Pujols kid can hit a little.  If he keeps this up, pitchers might not want to throw him a cookie right down the center of the plate.

Completely missed the target.

[HudsonHawk]

Completely missed the target.

You think?

[seib22]

Holliday - BB, 1 on, 0 out

[seib22]

Rasmus - broken bat looper in front of Pence. 2 on, 0 out

[Alkie]

Lance just drove his first run as a Yankee.

He gets to first, does his little open-mouth, slap his hand, half goose step thing.......and asks 1BC how many outs there are.

My boy.

[HudsonHawk]

He and Hernandez will get the "Marla" treatment.

Is that anything like the "Aunt Jemima" Treatment?

[MusicMan]

Myers has inherited the Oswalt inning.  Wish we had included it in the deal.

[seib22]

Yadier - walk to load the bases.

[austro]

Man, Myers cannot hit his spots tonight.

[MusicMan]

Is that anything like the "Aunt Jemima" Treatment?

I've always preferred my syrup with an ample bosom.

[Lurch]

Lance just drove his first run as a Yankee.

He gets to first, does his little open-mouth, slap his hand, half goose step thing.......and asks 1BC how many outs there are.

My boy.

He heard they use the metric system in New England.

[seib22]

Schumaker - 6-4-3. Holliday scores. 3-2 CoArds. 2 outs.

[OregonStrosFan]

Nice dig by Wallace there!

[seib22]

Westbrook - 5-3 to end the inning. 3-2 stl.

[Alkie]

If you like gruesome, career ending injuries, turn on the Bosox/Tribe game.

[HudsonHawk]

Myers did a nice job to get out of that with one run.

[seib22]

If you like gruesome, career ending injuries, turn on the Bosox/Tribe game.

do tell

[Limey]

Don't piss into the wind.
Don't tug on Superman's cape.
Don't compare rookies to Jeffrey Robert Bagwell.

Nice pick of the relay on that DP...

[HudsonHawk]

If you like gruesome, career ending injuries, turn on the Bosox/Tribe game.

BTW...I shall be at the Bosox/Tribe game on Thursday night. 

[MusicMan]

If you like gruesome, career ending injuries, turn on the Bosox/Tribe game.

Can you elaborate for those of us without MLBEI?

[MusicMan]

Myers did a nice job to get out of that with one run.

I did what I could to help.

[Alkie]

do tell

Play at the plate, runner bowls into Santana (the catcher) and his fucking leg goes backwards, 180 degrees the wrong fucking way.   If it's not broken in a thousand places, every ligament in his fucking leg is destroyed.

He couldn't even roll over he was in so much pain.   They finally had to go to break with him paralyzed with pain.   

STOP.  SHOWING.  THE REPLAY.  GAAAAAH.

[seib22]

Top 5, 3-2 CoArds

Q - 5-3. 1 out.

[HudsonHawk]

I did what I could to help.

Awww hell.  Are you pulling for the team again?

[Alkie]

Back from break and they're looking at his leg like it ain't broken, but his knee is trash.   

I can't believe his lower leg is still attached.

[Limey]

He heard they use the metric system in New England.

It's the AL.  10 players per side. 4 outs per inning. 

[OregonStrosFan]

BTW...I shall be at the Bosox/Tribe game on Thursday night. 

Was at the BoSox/Mariners game last Sunday.  BoSox fans are obnoxious. Made the 8th inning comeback (and resulting victory) by the Mariners that much sweeter!

[seib22]

Myers - 4-3, 2 away.

[Alkie]

His shoe came clean off in the collision.  How often do you see that?

[Limey]

Westbrook - 5-3 to end the inning. 3-2 stl.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[HudsonHawk]

Was at the BoSox/Mariners game last Sunday.  BoSox fans are obnoxious. Made the 8th inning comeback (and resulting victory) by the Mariners that much sweeter!

In Boston?

[seib22]

Bourn - K looking. 3 outs.

[Alkie]

BoSox fans are obnoxious.

You have.  No idea.

[HudsonHawk]

His shoe came clean off in the collision.  How often do you see that?

Like Charlie Brown getting his clothes knocked off by a line drive?

[Alkie]

They're putting on the aircast to cart his ass off and he STILL can't move.  He seriously looks like he may pass out from the pain,

[seib22]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I know. I was thinking the same thing. We can't all be tanked all the time, right?

[Alkie]

Like Charlie Brown getting his clothes knocked off by a line drive?

You joke.  Wait til you see this replay.

[MusicMan]

Play at the plate, runner bowls into Santana (the catcher) and his fucking leg goes backwards, 180 degrees the wrong fucking way.   If it's not broken in a thousand places, every ligament in his fucking leg is destroyed.

He couldn't even roll over he was in so much pain.   They finally had to go to break with him paralyzed with pain.   

STOP.  SHOWING.  THE REPLAY.  GAAAAAH.

Of course.  I just traded away Pooholes in my Scoresheet league to get him on a three-year contract.

Seriously... are we talking Ray Fosse, or Joe Theisman?

[seib22]

Bot 5, 3-2 stl

Ryan - flyout to Bourn. 1 down.

[seib22]

Lopez - bb, 1 on 1 out.

[Alkie]

Of course.  I just traded away Pooholes in my Scoresheet league to get him on a three-year contract.

Seriously... are we talking Ray Fosse, or Joe Theisman?

Right, I even said "it's Theismann without the bone actually leaving the leg."  I'm not sure it'll end his career effectively like Fosse, but I would imagine he's done for this year and everyday-catching-duties probably aren't in his future.

I would honestly fall off my couch if his knee has a single working part in it.   His leg went backwards almost entirely.

[Limey]

Myers needs to figure out that low and in is a strike!

[OregonStrosFan]

In Boston?

Nope, SEA. I could understand them being obnoxious in BOS, but the bandwagoneers wannabees rooting for BOS in SEA are pathetic. 

[seib22]

Jay - k swinging - Q almost cost Myers the k there with that 2nd snap throw to first.

[seib22]

Poopoo - jammed, flare out to Keppinger. 3 away.

[Limey]

Hernandez battling hard again.

[Limey]

Hernandez battling hard again.

You're welcome.

[seib22]

Top 6, 3-2 CoArds

Hernandez - K swinging. 1 down.

[seib22]

Pence - taps one out to Schumaker. 2 away.

[OregonStrosFan]

JD notes that Lee has been taking some fielding practice at 1B.

[seib22]

Lee - bb, 1 on, 2 out.

Westbrook is pitching a heck of a game.

[seib22]

Keppinger - bullet to 3b, through Lopez's legs. Lee to 2b, Kepp at 1st, 2 outs.

[Limey]

Wallace is pretty focused on the ball in slow-mo. 

[Limey]

Keppinger - bullet to 3b, through Lopez's legs. Lee to 2b, Kepp at 1st, 2 outs.

Bullet?

[seib22]

Wallace - k swinging. 3 outs.

[Limey]

Wallace is pretty focused on the ball in slow-mo. 

I'll get my coat.

[Lurch]

JD notes that Lee has been taking some fielding practice at 1B.

Wallace in LF?

[Alkie]

Wallace in LF?

Bagwell in LF.

[austro]

Wallace in LF?

No. Possible shift against lefties; get Bourgeois and/or Michaels into the outfield, maybe give Bourn the day off.

[OregonStrosFan]

Wallace in LF?

Nope. Might get some time off against LHPs here and again.  Would also allow Michaels of Bourgeois to get some time in LF.

[seib22]

Bot 6 - 3-2 STL

Holliday - 6-3 groundout. 1 out.

[seib22]

Rasmus - k swinging. 2 outs.

[seib22]

Yadier - 4-3 groundout. 3 outs.

[seib22]

Top 7, 3-2 CoArds - This will be my last inning if someone wants to take over pbp.

Randy Winn in RF for Jay. Motte in for Westbrook.

CJ - Liner in front of Winn in RF for a base hit. 1 on, 0 out.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Simmons is blaming Bogar (Sox 3B coach) for destroying Santana's career.

[seib22]

Q - flyout to Winn in RF. 1 on, 1 out.

[MusicMan]

Simmons is blaming Bogar (Sox 3B coach) for destroying Santana's career.

Wait a minute... they were down four, with one out??

Fuck.

Fuckety fuck.

[Alkie]

Simmons is blaming Bogar (Sox 3B coach) for destroying Santana's career.

I have a feeling we're going to see a lack of catchers blocking the plate with a wide open, crouched stance in the immediate future.

[MusicMan]

PS... he'll reassess that Dale Svuem opinion.  Simmongs hated that man's guts.

[MusicMan]

Some classy chap named "blaketime21" just tweeted that he wished Carlos Lee were playing catcher for the Indians.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Wow, I always thought Bourgeois was French.

[seib22]

Bourgeois ph for Myers - double play ball to SS. 3 out.

[Lurch]

Wow, I always thought Bourgeois was French.

Racist

[Alkie]

Some classy chap named "blaketime21" just tweeted that he wished Carlos Lee were playing catcher for the Indians.

That's disgusting.

Casey Blake wears #23.   Not #21.

[Bench]

This Brendan Ryan guy is fucking awesome.  Fucking Wade could never get the team a player like that.

[Ron Brand]

Yeah, it's a pretty nasty looking injury.

[Bench]

Yeah, it's a pretty nasty looking injury.

why the hell did I watch that?  At least it was blurry.

[Lurch]

wow.

[Rebel Jew]

pence:

ho. lee. shit.

[Ron Brand]

Wow. What a colossally shitty play in RF.

[austro]

Fucking Pence. Another S-route to the spot.

[Matt]

That play in RF was uglier than the collision play.

[Alkie]

I can tell you girls, I watched it in real time, in HD, on a fairly large screen and it was not cool of NESN to show 16 replays from 16 angles.

[hostros7]

We need a program that puts solid yellow lines under pence's routes, so he can see how shitty he is at tracking a ball

[chuck]

Slapdickerrific.

[Ron Brand]

If the Tigers said, "What about Hunter-" the instant answer is "Yes."

[Matt]

I can tell you girls, I watched it in real time, in HD, on a fairly large screen and it was not cool of NESN to show 16 replays from 16 angles.

Look at you fancy New Yorkers with your giant HD televisions.

[Bench]

PS... he'll reassess that Dale Svuem opinion.  Simmongs hated that man's guts.

Simmons: FYI: Destroying Santana's knee pulls Tim Bogar into a dead heat with Wendall Kim + Dale Sweum for "Worst Sox 3rd base coach ever" honors.

[Ron Brand]

Put me down as very interested in seeing The Expendables when it comes out.

[Ron Brand]

Simmons: FYI: Destroying Santana's knee pulls Tim Bogar into a dead heat with Wendall Kim + Dale Sweum for "Worst Sox 3rd base coach ever" honors.

Fuck you, Bill Simmons. Bogar didn't say "Hey, crash into his leg, ok? You'll be safe."

[Bench]

Put me down as very interested in seeing The Expendables when it comes out.

Me too.  I love that Van Damme refused to be in it because he didn't think his character was developed enough.

[Ron Brand]

Me too.  I love that Van Damme refused to be in it because he didn't think his character was developed enough.

Yeah. I'm not sure who else is NOT in this one.

[austro]

Yeah. I'm not sure who else is NOT in this one.

The Governator.

[Limey]

Yeah. I'm not sure who else is NOT in this one.

Duh.  Eastwood.

[Ron Brand]

The Governator.

Schwarzenegger is in it.

[OregonStrosFan]

The Governator.

Nope, he's in.

[austro]

Schwarzenegger is in it.

I guess I should pay more attention.

[Ron Brand]

Duh.  Eastwood.

I guess I don't think of Eastwood as that type of action star.

[Bench]

The Governator.

He has an unbilled cameo.  It's basically Planet Hollywood: The Movie.

[OregonStrosFan]

Expendables Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, David Zayas, Giselle Itié, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Charisma Carpenter, Gary Daniels, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis

[Limey]

Expendables Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, David Zayas, Giselle Itié, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Charisma Carpenter, Gary Daniels, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis

Jack McBryer?

[hostros7]

Odds on pence rolling over on an outside slider to short?  3:2 or am I being a homer?

[Anit]

how about a first pitch pop up to the catcher?

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Stallone wanted his co-star from Tango and Cash, Kurt Russell, but Russell said he didn't want to do an ensemble thing.

[Ron Brand]

Hey, stayed out of the double play!

[Limey]

Hunter's baseball instincts are like an ostrich's survival instincts. 

[austro]

Hunter Pence is a very frustrating young man.

[Ron Brand]

Stallone wanted his co-star from Tango and Cash, Kurt Russell, but Russell said he didn't want to do an ensemble thing.

Damn. He would have been great. I bet that was a really fun set to work on.

[Lefty]

No Lorenzo Lamas?  Michael Dudikoff?  Carl Weathers?  Fuck that shit then.

[Gizzmonic]

"Approach?  That's when I walk towards the batter's box, right?" - Hunter Pence

[hostros7]

Lovely situational hitting

[Ron Brand]

No Lorenzo Lamas?  Michael Dudikoff?  Carl Weathers?  Fuck that shit then.

Or Mr. T. Maybe they're setting up the sequel.

[Lurch]

Did you see Bourn's route around 3rd?

[Ron Brand]

Fuck yeah Keppinger!

[austro]

Cue Ron Brand...

[Limey]

No Lorenzo Lamas?  Michael Dudikoff?  Carl Weathers?  Fuck that shit then.

No Jesse Ventura?   Roddy Piper?

[Ron Brand]

I figured I was too late to let everyone know that you can't throw that weak-ass shit to JEFF KEPPINGER, bitch!

[austro]

Did you see Bourn's route around 3rd?

The tippy-toe, chopped step, extra wide turn? Yeah, that was special.

[loganck]

Yes!  Games have been fun to watch lately.

[Ron Brand]

No Jesse Ventura?   Roddy Piper?

What the hell happened to Rowdy Roddy? He was great in They Live.

[OregonStrosFan]

Kepp!!!

IBB to Wallace. Would have loved to see the kid park one here and listen to the BFiB bitch about him being traded...

Bases loaded for CJ. 1 out, score tied at 4.

[Gizzmonic]

Keep servin' up that haggis, McDougal!

[hostros7]

The team has been battling.  Every at bat means something to everyone on the roster, save for maybe lee but he's a hitter

[Ron Brand]

Suck it, Turdinals.

[Bench]

Wow.  When you're hot, you're hot.

[Lurch]

Bwa ha ha ha ha ... CARLOS FUCKING LEE beat you to home

[OregonStrosFan]

YES! Chopper over the pitcher by CJ and an offline throw to Molina allows the Astros to go up 5-4 (FC, RBI). Bases juiced, 1 out, Q up.

[Limey]

Wow.  When you're hot, you're hot.

You're never as bad as you look when you're losing...

[austro]

You're never as bad as you look when you're losing...

I don't know. This STL bullpen could be as bad as they look.

[austro]

Hey! Sasquatch got some new glasses!

[Lefty]

Roddy Piper?

If you haven't seen the "Always Sunny in Philly" featuring Roddy, your life is not complete.

[Ron Brand]

All right, let's get two.

[Limey]

Fuck!  I hate that guy. 

[loganck]

does this mean Lindstrom is ready or the ninth?

shit.  fucking Pujols

[Ron Brand]

Dammit, that pitch has been a strike all night and NOW it's a ball?

[Limey]

So.  Now that's not a strike?

[OregonStrosFan]

Nice grab there Flapjack!

[Ron Brand]

Carlos Lee, hustling outfielder.

[Limey]

Dammit, that pitch has been a strike all night and NOW it's a ball?

FIRST.  Oh shit.

[Ron Brand]

FIRST.  Oh shit.

You forgot to use your Ferret Powers.

[austro]

Well, that certainly cleaned up nicely.

[Limey]

Nice!

[Ron Brand]

Direct TV chickenshits. They've got the high ground! Set up a flank, you fools! Comcast is making a direct attack, they're looking to be slaughtered!

[austro]

Direct TV chickenshits. They've got the high ground! Set up a flank, you fools! Comcast is making a direct attack, they're looking to be slaughtered!

I get a kick out of that commercial. "That's a lot of HD."

[JaneDoe]

reverT must subscribe to the notion that there is no such thing as too much facial hair.

[austro]

Between Sanchez and Hernandez, I'd say that Manzella had better listen to Bagwell's advice very carefully.

[Limey]

Way to lay out, Pooholes.  Hah!

[Alkie]

Ok, so we win tonight.   We win tomorrow.   We take the division.

What's our NLDS rotation?

[Ron Brand]

Between Sanchez and Hernandez, I'd say that Manzella had better listen to Bagwell's advice very carefully.

I really didn't think Manzella had anything to worry about but the more this goes on...

[Alkie]

STL broadcast just pointed out that a win tonight will be a 5 game win streak (single season) in STL for HOU.

First.
Time.
Ever.

[Ron Brand]

Ok, so we win tonight.   We win tomorrow.   We take the division.

What's our NLDS rotation?

Ryan, Richard and Scott.

[loganck]

fucking wave.  ninth inning, one run game.  ridiculous.

[Lurch]

Ryan, Richard and Scott.

Bagwell - LHP

[Alkie]

fucking wave.  ninth inning, one run game.  ridiculous.

Even the Cards broadcasters are making fun of it.

[Limey]

fucking wave.  ninth inning, one run game.  ridiculous.

BFiB

[Ron Brand]

Nice to see the FTC are pulling the chain on yet another season.

[BudGirl]

BFiB

biggest fags in baseball?

[Alkie]

biggest fags in baseball?

Disgusting.

Fags have sex.

[Limey]

Molina is a whiny bitch.

[JaneDoe]

Bourn. To. Run.

[Ron Brand]

Michael Bourn = Black Dynamite.

[Limey]

biggest fags in baseball?

And now they boo.

[BudGirl]

Michael Bourn, throw him weak shit and he'll run really fast.

[OregonStrosFan]

Exellent AB there by Bourn against the lefty! T9, Astros at the corners, no outs, Michaels up!

[Alkie]

Michael Bourn = Black Dynamite.

Just a guess, but I don't think you can say that.

[Ron Brand]

Just a guess, but I don't think you can say that.

What?

[Lurch]

Just a guess, but I don't think you can say that.

I passed out

[Alkie]

What?

THEY can say that.  You can't.

[Alkie]

I passed out

Finally saw the Santana injury in HD?

[Limey]

Hate sound like I'm piling on, but Molina is tired or lazy.  Ok, so maybe Miller's missing the spot or the signal, but he isn't moving his feet.  He's just trying to glove everything.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

STL broadcast just pointed out that a win tonight will be a 5 game win streak (single season) in STL for HOU.

First.
Time.
Ever.

See this, BBG's? That one right there.

[hostros7]

Lopez not having a good night at 3B

[austro]

Hate sound like I'm piling on, but Molina is tired or lazy.  Ok, so maybe Miller's missing the spot or the signal, but he isn't moving his feet.  He's just trying to glove everything.

Lazy.

[BudGirl]

What?

i like this one better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXXeIRRwGYY&NR=1

[Ron Brand]

Dig this, mama.

[MusicMan]

See this, BBG's? That one right there.

They already made him watch Santana.

[Alkie]

Someday, I'm going to buy YouTube.   Just so I can have it Santana'd.

[Anit]

insurance runs!

[loganck]

this is a first place team?

[JaneDoe]

Yeehaw!! Kepp!

[hostros7]

Jeff fucking keppinger thinks your pitching is insufficient

[Ron Brand]

It's always enjoyable to watch the Cardinals kick the ball around.

[Alkie]

this is a first place team?

Not even close.  We're like 12 out.

But it LOOKS like it, no?

[Limey]

Anyone remember the bottom of the 1st?   The Jakes have played the whole game that way. 

[MusicMan]

Jeff fucking keppinger thinks your pitching is insufficient

Don't wanna get smited? (smote?)

Don't throw weak-ass shit like a bitch to Jeff Keppinger.

[Ron Brand]

What the hell? Are those BFiB's leaving?

[Lurch]

BIG FUCKING JOHNSON

[MusicMan]

This Johnson kid can hit a little bit.

[JaneDoe]

Nice hit by Johnson!

[Bench]

Ok, so we win tonight.   We win tomorrow.   We take the division.

What's our NLDS rotation?

Home field advantage in the WS, too.

[Craig]

Don't wanna get smited? (smote?)

smitten!

[Ron Brand]

Sweet. 9-4 in the bottom of the 9th.

[Limey]

BIG FUCKING JOHNSON

You and Your Johnson

[Ron Brand]

Home field advantage in the WS, too.

That's right, it counted this time.

[Ron Brand]

You and Your Johnson

That's a big Johnson.

[Ron Brand]

All right Lindstrom. Keep that back loose.

[Limey]

Astros win takes them above the Cubs and knocks the Jakes off the top of the division. 

Perfect night?

[BudGirl]

Astros win takes them above the Cubs and knocks the Jakes off the top of the division. 

Perfect night?

not yet

[JaneDoe]

All right Lindstrom. Keep that back loose.

White ball, hip pocket.

[austro]

I foresee much teeth-gnashing by the BFiBs with regard to this bullpen.

[Ron Brand]

White ball, hip pocket.

Very nice.

[BudGirl]

16-1 brewers over the cubs??  wow

[Lurch]

Nice 3-4-1!

[BudGirl]

kepp is a good player

[Ron Brand]

16-1 brewers over the cubs??  wow

Celebrating the culture of losing since 1938.

[Anit]

16-1 brewers over the cubs??  wow

18-1 now

[Lurch]

Break em up!

[Ron Brand]

Woo hoo! Good Guys win!

[BudGirl]

yeah!!!

[JaneDoe]

Love sending those BFiBs home crying.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

I guess the Brewers offense was a little constipated after getting blanked twice, no?

[Bench]

Trade more guys!  It's working!

[BudGirl]

they are definitely making up for the weekend.  poor cubs

[MusicMan]

I guess the Brewers offense was a little constipated after getting blanked twice, no?

Glad they could blow shit all over the Cubs.

[Limey]

18-1 now

They let Trevor Hoffman bat...with the bases loaded.  Pure mercy. 

[Ron Brand]

Glad they could blow shit all over the Cubs.

Exactly.

[JaneDoe]

They let Trevor Hoffman bat...with the bases loaded.  Pure mercy. 

haha

[austro]

they are definitely making up for the weekend.  poor cubs

I get the definite impression that those high-character Cubs are phoning it in for the rest of the season. I'd love to see them finish in 5th place.

[BudGirl]

I get the definite impression that those high-character Cubs are phoning it in for the rest of the season. I'd love to see them finish in 5th place.

i'd prefer they finish in 6th.

[austro]

i'd prefer they finish in 6th.

Me, too, but the Pirates are epically bad.

[Limey]

i'd prefer they finish in 6th.

I'd prefer Wrigley get hit by an asteroid.  While they're playing the Jakes. 

[MusicMan]

Lopez was out at the plate, but I can certainly see how the umpire missed it.

[MusicMan]

WTF??  Manny Acta saying Santana "responded well" to trainers tests, and there may not be any structural damage?!?!?

[Ron Brand]

WTF??  Manny Acta saying Santana "responded well" to trainers tests, and there may not be any structural damage?!?!?

That would be great if it's true. And Bill Simmons will have another reason to fuck off.

[Ron Brand]

And the Brown Hand Center Hands of the Game Award goes to...Hunter Pence.

Sigh.

[seib22]

And the Brown Hand Center Hands of the Game Award goes to...Hunter Pence.

Sigh.

"Hey, you just can't play that ball any better." Shut your face Eschenfelder.

[JaneDoe]

"Hey, you just can't play that ball any better." Shut your face Eschenfelder.

He said that?

[MusicMan]

He said that?

It's true, your honor.  This man has no dick.

[Limey]

He said that?

They spent considerable time explaining that a ball hit straight to you, is the hardest one to play.  Especially if you dance around it like a KCF, they didn't add.

[JaneDoe]

It's true, your honor.  This man has no dick.

We'll gladly donate Joshua.

[MRaup]

"Hey, you just can't play that ball any better." Shut your face Eschenfelder.

Kevin Eschenfelder, the Hunter Pence of the Astro Post Game Show.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Dr. Michael Brown Hand Center: The Hunter Pence Darryl Strawberry of Hand Doctors.

[Ron Brand]

Don't forget - he personally trained the doctors in the Brown Hand Procedure.

[rifraft]

Don't forget - he personally trained the doctors in the Brown Hand Procedure.

"Daddy's little girl...."

fucking creepy.

[Limey]

"Daddy's little girl...."

fucking creepy.

I was creeped out by that bloke before I found out that he is a proper weirdigan.

[JaneDoe]

Don't forget - he personally trained the doctors in the Brown Hand Procedure.

That is one training session I would not want to attend.

Brown Hand Procedure: "Ok, guys...wish in one hand, shit in the other."

Training complete.

[Limey]

That is one training session I would not want to attend.

Brown Hand Procedure: "Ok, guys...wish in one hand, shit in the other."

Training complete.

That's not the "hand procedure" that instantly sprang to my, and almost certainly Alkie's, mind.

[Andyzipp]

Don't forget - he personally trained the doctors in the Brown Hand Procedure.

Personally trained because he's no longer allowed to practice medicine.

The wife in those commercials, while attractive, seems to be desperately trying to send out "Help Me!" messages with her eyes betraying her firmly clinched jaw.

[Limey]

The wife in those commercials, while attractive, seems to be desperately trying to send out "Help Me!" messages with her eyes betraying her firmly clinched jaw.

+1

[Guinness]

That's not the "hand procedure" that instantly sprang to my, and almost certainly Alkie's, the collective SnS mind.

FIFY

[MusicMan]

"the collective SnS mind"??

Are we the Borg?

[JimR]

"the collective SnS mind"??

no such thing, mind or collective

[Ty in Tampa]

Lockstep.

[Andyzipp]

"the collective SnS mind"??

Are we the Borg?

Borg?

(http://www.fnokd.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/swedish_chef.jpg)

[MusicMan]

Holy crap.  I see we've met our "really fucked up shit" quota early today.

[Ron Brand]

Perhaps Mr. Brown used the Jerry Calypso Method as a basis.

[austro]

Holy crap.  I see we've met our "really fucked up shit" quota early today.

Winning streak has everybody feeling their oats.

[Limey]

Winning streak has everybody feeling their oats.

[Carlos Lee] Did someone say "oats"? [/Carlos Lee]

[MusicMan]

[Sarah Jessica Parker] Did someone say "oats"? [/Sarah Jessica Parker]

FIFY

[Alkie]

WTF??  Manny Acta saying Santana "responded well" to trainers tests, and there may not be any structural damage?!?!?

15 day DL, sprained knee.

We must find a mate for young Santana.  It will be important for our species to breed this man to prepare for a future full of birds with specialized knee-busting beaks and poor third base coaching.

[Limey]

15 day DL, sprained knee.

We must find a mate for young Santana.  It will be important for our species to breed this man to prepare for a future full of birds with specialized knee-busting beaks and poor third base coaching.

Fuck that!  Coat his skeleton in adamantium!