Author Topic: Alright, everybody - gather 'round  (Read 7828 times)

MusicMan

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Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« on: April 05, 2010, 09:49:05 am »
I'm not much for giving inspirational addresses.

I'd just like to point out that every media outlet in the country has picked us to finish next to last.  The local press seems to think we would save everyone a lot of time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves.

Me, I'm for wasting sportswriters' time - so I'd like to hang around and see if we can give 'em all a nice big shitburger to eat.
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

Fredia

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2010, 09:53:00 am »
i have not heard the fat lady.
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Lurch

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2010, 09:53:32 am »
Hold the fuck on.  Who they picking to take last?
I wish the first word I had said when I was born was 'quote'. Then before I die, I could say, 'unquote.' --Steven Wright

Andyzipp

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2010, 09:54:01 am »
Hold the fuck on.  Who they picking to take last?

The Pirates.  Like always.

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #4 on: April 05, 2010, 09:55:33 am »
Nice, MM... I thought of posting the very same thing.

Limey

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #5 on: April 05, 2010, 09:59:54 am »
Whatever you do, MM, I do not want you to peel sections off a cut-out of Pam Gardner.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

MusicMan

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #6 on: April 05, 2010, 10:01:26 am »
Whatever you do, MM, I do not want you to peel sections off a cut-out of Pam Gardner.

You don't understand - Mills will be ADDING sections to the cut-out for every win.  The man is a brilliant motivator.
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

Ron Brand

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #7 on: April 05, 2010, 10:05:04 am »
Fuck the Cubs.
I'm in love with rock and roll and I'll be out all night.

Ebby Calvin

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #8 on: April 05, 2010, 10:34:29 am »
Fuck the Cubs.

This.

Also, I'm bracing for a Clarkie infiltration now that the season has begun.  Glad to see Coach is already in midseason form.
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Ty in Tampa

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #9 on: April 05, 2010, 10:38:16 am »
"You want me broken. You want me dead.
I'm living rent-free in the back of your head."

94CougarGrad

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #10 on: April 05, 2010, 11:19:59 am »
Fuck the Media!

Thus begins the SnS "Shitburgers for Sportswriters" campaign. I'm on board.

And, by the way, FTC.
And, by the way, f*** off. --Mr. Happy, with a tip of the cap to JimR
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Andyzipp

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #11 on: April 05, 2010, 11:41:41 am »
This.

Also, I'm bracing for a Clarkie infiltration now that the season has begun.  Glad to see Coach is already in midseason form.

I'd like that a WHOLE lot more than the spambot members we're getting recently.

Texifornia

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #12 on: April 05, 2010, 11:55:57 am »
He breezed him, one more time!

JackAstro

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #13 on: April 05, 2010, 12:40:34 pm »
I'd like that a WHOLE lot more than the spambot members we're getting recently.

Can4dian b0n3r pillz 4 u! L3gal and s@fe! Their 4 ur b0ner!
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MusicMan

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #14 on: April 05, 2010, 12:44:20 pm »
Can4dian b0n3r pillz 4 u! L3gal and s@fe! Their 4 ur b0ner!

Fredia = spambot?
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

Ty in Tampa

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #15 on: April 05, 2010, 12:47:08 pm »
Can4dian b0n3r pillz 4 u! L3gal and s@fe! Their 4 ur b0ner!

If that design stuff you do doesn't work out, you have options...
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I'm living rent-free in the back of your head."

JackAstro

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #16 on: April 05, 2010, 01:38:21 pm »
If that design stuff you do doesn't work out, you have options...

That reminds me – finally launched the new site over new years. I'll shoot you the link.
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Mr. Happy

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #17 on: April 05, 2010, 01:39:01 pm »
Can we feed a shitburger to Pam for every win? I'm counting on 100 of them! Hope springs eternal.
People who cannot recognize a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilization. Agnes Rupellier

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Mr. Appropriate

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #18 on: April 05, 2010, 02:06:14 pm »
I'm not much for giving inspirational addresses.

I'd just like to point out that every media outlet in the country has picked us to finish next to last.  The local press seems to think we would save everyone a lot of time and trouble if we just went out and shot ourselves.

Me, I'm for wasting sportswriters' time - so I'd like to hang around and see if we can give 'em all a nice big shitburger to eat.
New vastly improved coach,younger players coming up from an improving farm system, more wit and wisdom from Lance Berkman in a contract year--it's going to a fun season. Being a pirates fan sucks. Being a cubs fan is shameful. Cardinal fan--I feel sorry for them, like being born french. Brewers, I largely wish them well--I just can't find anything wrong with beer and sausage races. And cinci--isn't being in Ohio and eating that chili punishment enough? Anyway, fuck the national sportswriters who reflexively dump on the astros no matter how good or bad the team looks on paper. I just thank the BBGs that Astros Baseball is back.
And worst case scenario, if the astros are mathematically eliminated by April 6th like these jackasses predict, they'll still have the opportunity to send all the cubs fans who seem to fester and breed in the downtown sewer back underground feeling sad in the last home series. 
Where the fuck is Toro?

Mr. Happy

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #19 on: April 05, 2010, 02:09:54 pm »
New vastly improved coach,younger players coming up from an improving farm system, more wit and wisdom from Lance Berkman in a contract year--it's going to a fun season. Being a pirates fan sucks. Being a cubs fan is shameful. Cardinal fan--I feel sorry for them, like being born french. Brewers, I largely wish them well--I just can't find anything wrong with beer and sausage races. And cinci--isn't being in Ohio and eating that chili punishment enough? Anyway, fuck the national sportswriters who reflexively dump on the astros no matter how good or bad the team looks on paper. I just thank the BBGs that Astros Baseball is back.
And worst case scenario, if the astros are mathematically eliminated by April 6th like these jackasses predict, they'll still have the opportunity to send all the cubs fans who seem to fester and breed in the downtown sewer back underground feeling sad in the last home series. 

You're only wrong on one thing: fuck the Brew Crew too. See Selig, Bud.
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Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius

MusicMan

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #20 on: April 05, 2010, 02:10:25 pm »
I confess that I am disappopinted nobody has provided the correct response of "Hey, skip, aren't we gonna have a prayer first?  I mean, we're not all savages like Cerrano."
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

Mr. Appropriate

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #21 on: April 05, 2010, 02:17:35 pm »
You're only wrong on one thing: fuck the Brew Crew too. See Selig, Bud.
that's like hating every german because of hitler. No, my loyalties are clear--Astros uber alles. but I'm still celebrating oktoberfest.
Where the fuck is Toro?

Mr. Happy

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #22 on: April 05, 2010, 02:22:35 pm »
I confess that I am disappopinted nobody has provided the correct response of "Hey, skip, aren't we gonna have a prayer first?  I mean, we're not all savages like Cerrano."

MM: Your's was so good that your second line would have been anticlimactic.
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Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius

94CougarGrad

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #23 on: April 05, 2010, 02:28:09 pm »
I confess that I am disappopinted nobody has provided the correct response of "Hey, skip, aren't we gonna have a prayer first?  I mean, we're not all savages like Cerrano."

Speak for yourself. I'm planning ways to sacrifice the frozen chicken breasts in my freezer to Jobu.
And, by the way, f*** off. --Mr. Happy, with a tip of the cap to JimR
Y'know, either you're a fan or you aren't. And if you aren't, get the f*** outta here, because we are and you're just in the way. --Ron Brand

Mr. Happy

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #24 on: April 05, 2010, 02:30:47 pm »
Speak for yourself. I'm planning ways to sacrifice the frozen chicken breasts in my freezer to Jobu.

I think that one of my favorite scenes was when the aging pitcher downs the rum and says "up your butt Jobu" and then gets whacked by a bat.
People who cannot recognize a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilization. Agnes Rupellier

Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius

EasTexAstro

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #25 on: April 05, 2010, 02:31:26 pm »
Speak for yourself. I'm planning ways to sacrifice the frozen chicken breasts in my freezer to Jobu.

I ate the extra long cheese coney from Sonic for lunch while thinking of everyone meeting at Spanish Flower.

Does that count as a sacrifice?
It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of 'em was one kinda sombitch or another.

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #26 on: April 06, 2010, 12:08:33 am »
Cardinal fan--I feel sorry for them, like being born french.

Can't help myself.  That was funny!
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Limey

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #27 on: April 06, 2010, 12:31:33 am »
that's like hating every german because of hitler.

Eh?
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

S.P. Rodriguez

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #28 on: April 06, 2010, 09:14:14 am »
Taking another idea from Major League, you recall the removal of a piece from the picture of the owner in her Showgirl outfit.  Maybe take the opposite approach with a revealing picture of Pam.  Every time they lose, another body part is revealed.  I'm not sure you can top that for motivation....
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Mr. Appropriate

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #29 on: April 06, 2010, 09:28:57 am »
Eh?
I'm sorry Limey, it's something we yanks did--a bit of necessary propaganda in the old W.W. Two. Awkwardly in the last century the Stars and Stripes kicked germany's ass twice--much like Andrew Jackson slaughtered the British at New Orleans. The uncomfortable part of the conflicts was at the time the largest european ethnic group in the U.S. were Germans. Fortunatey, Germans are happy to fight anyone, even (maybe especially) other Germans because though they been lightly christianized for somehting close to a thousand years, deep down in der blut is the idea that maybe the best way to heaven is to die in battle--prefereably after helping whole communities of the other side go to Hel first. Anyway, instead of hating germans, the enemy was Hitler and the Nazis (or the Kaiser in JimR's time). This made it easier for the millions of German-Americans who fought for the U.S. from feeling a twang of uncomfortable angst. The upshot is that I can question Selig for being comfortable with the inherent conflict of interest involved in controlling both a team and being the commissioner. I can despise Selig for the roiding of the game--something it is impossible to imagine Bart Giamatti tolerating for 10 seconds let alone ten years. And I can freaking hate him for moving an Astros "home" game  to Milwaukee which I had to listen to on an battery powered radio while mr. fucking cubsfan gets to watch in person after a short drive. I can do all that without hating the Brewers. Really, can you hate someone who honors those who make beer? Really?
Well, Cheerio old chap, hope I answered your "eh?" If not there's plenty of more horseshit back in the barn. And i am sure that togther we can finally find that pony.  
« Last Edit: April 06, 2010, 09:52:53 am by Halapayno »
Where the fuck is Toro?

Taras Bulba

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #30 on: April 06, 2010, 09:39:37 am »
Sitting out a few hands is a good thing to do.
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Limey

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #31 on: April 06, 2010, 10:28:27 am »
I'm sorry Limey, it's something we yanks did--a bit of necessary propaganda in the old W.W. Two. Awkwardly in the last century the Stars and Stripes kicked germany's ass twice--much like Andrew Jackson slaughtered the British at New Orleans. The uncomfortable part of the conflicts was at the time the largest european ethnic group in the U.S. were Germans. Fortunatey, Germans are happy to fight anyone, even (maybe especially) other Germans because though they been lightly christianized for somehting close to a thousand years, deep down in der blut is the idea that maybe the best way to heaven is to die in battle--prefereably after helping whole communities of the other side go to Hel first. Anyway, instead of hating germans, the enemy was Hitler and the Nazis (or the Kaiser in JimR's time). This made it easier for the millions of German-Americans who fought for the U.S. from feeling a twang of uncomfortable angst. The upshot is that I can question Selig for being comfortable with the inherent conflict of interest involved in controlling both a team and being the commissioner. I can despise Selig for the roiding of the game--something it is impossible to imagine Bart Giamatti tolerating for 10 seconds let alone ten years. And I can freaking hate him for moving an Astros "home" game  to Milwaukee which I had to listen to on an battery powered radio while mr. fucking cubsfan gets to watch in person after a short drive. I can do all that without hating the Brewers. Really, can you hate someone who honors those who make beer? Really?
Well, Cheerio old chap, hope I answered your "eh?" If not there's plenty of more horseshit back in the barn. And i am sure that togther we can finally find that pony.  

How many lines have you done this morning?
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

94CougarGrad

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #32 on: April 06, 2010, 10:29:19 am »
I'm sorry Limey, it's something we yanks did--a bit of necessary propaganda in the old W.W. Two. Awkwardly in the last century the Stars and Stripes kicked germany's ass twice--much like Andrew Jackson slaughtered the British at New Orleans. The uncomfortable part of the conflicts was at the time the largest european ethnic group in the U.S. were Germans. Fortunatey, Germans are happy to fight anyone, even (maybe especially) other Germans because though they been lightly christianized for somehting close to a thousand years, deep down in der blut is the idea that maybe the best way to heaven is to die in battle--prefereably after helping whole communities of the other side go to Hel first. Anyway, instead of hating germans, the enemy was Hitler and the Nazis (or the Kaiser in JimR's time). This made it easier for the millions of German-Americans who fought for the U.S. from feeling a twang of uncomfortable angst. The upshot is that I can question Selig for being comfortable with the inherent conflict of interest involved in controlling both a team and being the commissioner. I can despise Selig for the roiding of the game--something it is impossible to imagine Bart Giamatti tolerating for 10 seconds let alone ten years. And I can freaking hate him for moving an Astros "home" game  to Milwaukee which I had to listen to on an battery powered radio while mr. fucking cubsfan gets to watch in person after a short drive. I can do all that without hating the Brewers. Really, can you hate someone who honors those who make beer? Really?
Well, Cheerio old chap, hope I answered your "eh?" If not there's plenty of more horseshit back in the barn. And i am sure that togther we can finally find that pony.  

Didn't you buy the textbook? The goddam Germans ain't got nothing to do with it.
And, by the way, f*** off. --Mr. Happy, with a tip of the cap to JimR
Y'know, either you're a fan or you aren't. And if you aren't, get the f*** outta here, because we are and you're just in the way. --Ron Brand

Mr. Appropriate

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #33 on: April 06, 2010, 10:31:39 am »
How many lines have you done this morning?
zero. but I must admit that the misses did brew the PG tips rather strong this morning.
Where the fuck is Toro?

94CougarGrad

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #34 on: April 06, 2010, 10:37:02 am »
Speak for yourself. I'm planning ways to sacrifice the frozen chicken breasts in my freezer to Jobu.

In other news, Jobu apparently is displeased when you decide NOT to sacrifice the frozen chicken breasts and decide instead to sacrifice multiple chicken parts at Buffalo Wild Wings, where you could pay homage to multiple sports by watching both the Astros and the NCAA men's bb championship at the same time. I guess Jobu wants undivided attention.
And, by the way, f*** off. --Mr. Happy, with a tip of the cap to JimR
Y'know, either you're a fan or you aren't. And if you aren't, get the f*** outta here, because we are and you're just in the way. --Ron Brand

BudGirl

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #35 on: April 06, 2010, 10:38:53 am »
In other news, Jobu apparently is displeased when you decide NOT to sacrifice the frozen chicken breasts and decide instead to sacrifice multiple chicken parts at Buffalo Wild Wings, where you could pay homage to multiple sports by watching both the Astros and the NCAA men's bb championship at the same time. I guess Jobu wants undivided attention.

So, it's your fault the Astros lost.
''I just did an interview with someone I like more than you. I used a lot of big words on him. I don't have anything left for you.'' --Brad Ausmus

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94CougarGrad

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Re: Alright, everybody - gather 'round
« Reply #36 on: April 06, 2010, 11:48:15 am »
So, it's your fault the Astros lost.

I'll take the heat for this one if Jobu needs me to repent. Next time I won't be plotting ways to sacrifice frozen chicken breasts on the almighty Altar of the George Foreman Grill and stuff, so I'll be blame-free.
And, by the way, f*** off. --Mr. Happy, with a tip of the cap to JimR
Y'know, either you're a fan or you aren't. And if you aren't, get the f*** outta here, because we are and you're just in the way. --Ron Brand