Chris Berman

[Alkie]

Is there anyone here that actually likes Chris Berman?

I mean, I assumed that his schtick might be the most tired junk on sports TV and that people universally cringed every time he made another forced reference joke with a line from a 40 year old classic rock song, but ESPN is claiming he is an institution that could stay there as long as he wanted.   

So then I asked some people his age if they like that he references a time that they remember (right around when I was born) and to a man they told me they're as embarrassed as I am to watch/listen to him.

So...who are these people that like Chris Berman?   I mean in studio or calling games.   

[Lurch]

A very good question.  I would have to assume they (or their paying advertisers) believe their own hype about him, and never ask the question of how he is really perceived.  There is just no way they get a favorable rating for him.

Deadspin has been recomending the NFL channel's pregame show.  I've not watched enough of it yet to say it's any better than the others, but I do like Rich Eisen

[Rebel Jew]

What a great ANONYMOUS thread this is by ALKIE.  And then "you rannng?" it's Lurch with the reply!  I wonder if we'll see a reply from Jim "raup raup a loo raup a raup bam boom"

[chuck]

Chris Berman is indeed a cringe factory but he wouldn't even crack the top ten if I were to list reasons why I can't watch ESPN.

[Alkie]

What a great ANONYMOUS thread this is by ALKIE.  And then "you rannng?" it's Lurch with the reply!  I wonder if we'll see a reply from Jim "raup raup a loo raup a raup bam boom"

See, even just reading this made me cringe.   It's actually painful to watch at this point.  There's plenty of awful shit on American television that I would be embarrassed to watch, but I actually feel embarrassed for Chris Berman when I watch him.   I just want to take him aside and shake my head side to side while saying "no, man.   You have to stop."

[Alkie]

Chris Berman is indeed a cringe factory but he wouldn't even crack the top ten if I were to list reasons why I can't watch ESPN.

Right, but that's a whole other thread.

I'm just amazed that ESPN would continue to hang on to someone that appears to be universally annoyed by.  It's not like he's controversial so people would watch to see what set item he breaks or what filthy word he says on air.   He's just.......tired and boring and annoying and embarrassing. 

Just seems like a strange business move.

[chuck]

What a great ANONYMOUS thread this is by ALKIE.  And then "you rannng?" it's Lurch with the reply!  I wonder if we'll see a reply from Jim "raup raup a loo raup a raup bam boom"

Fuck you, Trum. Now I've got Jim and Little Richard entwined in my head forever. This is the kind of psychological disturbance that I do not need.

[Alkie]

Fuck you, Trum. Now I've got Jim and Little Richard entwined in my head forever.

Wait.

You didn't already?   

[chuck]

Just seems like a strange business move.

Dude. Everything these fuckers do is thoroughly market tested. Just because you and me and Lurch and a handful of your acquaintances do not care for the guy does not counterbalance the 1000000000000 mouthbreathers out there who knock But Light cans off their coffee table when they leap up to chant HE. COULD. GO. ALL. THE. WAY.

Don't get me started on Stuart Scott.

[chuck]

Wait.

You didn't already?   

No. I had him with Liberace. Now I'm all kinds of confused.

[Alkie]

Don't get me started on Stuart Scott.

That was actually my next thread.   

Who "gets" Stuart Scott?   I know inner city black kids don't.   They see him as a tool of the highest order.    I know UMC white people don't.   They see him as a tool of the highest order.   I know the athletes don't.   They see him as a tool of the highest order.

Truth is, if he just spoke without his wildly fake urban lingo, he might be a perfectly acceptable sports guy.   As is, he's just laughably silly.   I mean, it would be like if I was on TV trying to sound "street."

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I know this sounds awful, but there was a part of me, that, when I saw the title of this thread, was hoping for a eulogy of sorts. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying I want him dead or anything like that. The fact is, his schtick died along time ago and what remains is the zombie equivalent of a TV show.

[Rebel Jew]

Dude. Everything these fuckers do is thoroughly market tested. Just because you and me and Lurch and a handful of your acquaintances do not care for the guy does not counterbalance the 1000000000000 mouthbreathers out there who knock But Light cans off their coffee table when they leap up to chant HE. COULD. GO. ALL. THE. WAY.

Don't get me started on Stuart Scott.

i don't think berman's still there because he's market tested or whatever.  i guess he and stu scott are familiar, so anonymous jerkoffs at the hartford mall do give them a response when they see their pictures pop up on the screen.  but the same dudes who hired berman 30 years ago, the same dudes who hold howard cosell to be the goldstandard by which all others should be judged, are the same dudes who still make the big decisions in broadcasting.  these are the same dudes who throw broadcasting gigs at the feet of matt millen and tony kornheiser. 

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Yep, that dead horse ain't nothing but a skeleton and he's still hitting on it. I think he must also be one of those dudes.

[Rebel Jew]

Yep, that dead horse ain't nothing but a skeleton and he's still hitting on it. I think he must also be one of those dudes.

speaking of skeleton-fucking, anybody else about to watch the texans play the rams?

[chuck]

speaking of skeleton-fucking, anybody else about to watch the texans play the rams?

This fumbling is about to get old.

[hostros7]

This fumbling is about to get old.

It got old during the first Jacksonville game.

[Rebel Jew]

seriously, mcnair needs to stop fucking around and make cushing the coach of this team.  there wouldn't be anymore goddamn fumbles after that day.

[JimR]

Fuck you, Trum. Now I've got Jim and Little Richard entwined in my head forever. This is the kind of psychological disturbance that I do not need.

i agree. i think you have plenty of them without this.

[Mr. Happy]

Chris Berman is a fat cartoon character. The fastest three minutes in sports can't ever go fast enough for me. I mute it.

[strosrays]

Chris Berman is indeed a cringe factory but he wouldn't even crack the top ten if I were to list reasons why I can't watch ESPN.

Berman is terrible, yes -- I don't even watch the NFL, not to mention ESPN, and I still cannot get away from him, between the Weight Watchers ads and now one for some anti-Weight Watcher restaurant chain.  And as bad as Berman has become on the pre-game show (he is a walking, talking definition of someone who has become a caricature of himself), he should never, EVER, be let loose near a baseball broadcasting booth, ever again.  The Cosell connection to Berman, for me, is that Berman broadcasting basbeall reminds me a lot of when Cosell bullied his way onto the ABC Monday Night Baseball announcing team, back in the late 1970s.  That was horrific.

I remember back when ESPN first went on the air.  They were so programming poor, they continually showed stuff like college lacross and seniors tennis, and -- I swear -- New Jersey high school football.  The unique thing was Sportscenter, thirty minutes devoted to (national) sports only (the local news gave sports 3-4 minutes, typically.)  Berman was a part of that, and as I recall there was a time when his schtick didn't seem so hackneyed.  Albeit, that was 30 years ago.

He can at least say he has been there since the beginning.  You always knew you were likely to get Berman and his 'Boomer' persona when you switched to ESPN, for better or worse.  The people I blame for fucking up Sportscenter are some of the ones who came later -- Stuart Scott, Dan Patrick, Keith Olbermann, Kenny Mayne -- those who created an environment where every talking head on the show was trying to one-up the others with smart-ass comments and "signature phrases."

You can point to the beginning of the end for Sportscenter as an engaging "hard" sports show once that ethos became the norm, and people like Stuart Scott felt it was okay to run around saying "Boo-ya" or whatever the fuck it is he is known for..

[Limey]

speaking of skeleton-fucking, anybody else about to watch the texans play the rams?

Keep fucking that chicken.

[ybbodeus]

I've always thought that the presence of ABC gradually lead them to morph their focus from covering sports to using sports for self-promotion. Whether to impress ABC execs or because they grew giddy with themselves, they began elevating ESPN to a level that was equal to or greater than whatever event they were covering.

It probably started with their America's Cup coverage in the mid to late 80's. Fast forward 20+ years, and they're selling ESPN phones, magazines, fantasy leagues and sports bars.

I rather miss Tom Mees, as he had a face for radio and didn't mind joking about it. Bob Ley started taking himself too seriously, but you just changed the channel when his smug act grew tiresome.

However, that Berman grew to be such a monster not because of his analytical skills but primarily because of his ability to quip clever nicknames (or to yell Back-Back-Back during game recaps) is just ludicrous.

It's like a direct marketing pyramid scheme up there with all newbies forced to pay dues and homage to those who went before them.

[Bench]

I've always thought that the presence of ABC gradually lead them to morph their focus from covering sports to using sports for self-promotion. Whether to impress ABC execs or because they grew giddy with themselves, they began elevating ESPN to a level that was equal to or greater than whatever event they were covering.

It probably started with their America's Cup coverage in the mid to late 80's. Fast forward 20+ years, and they're selling ESPN phones, magazines, fantasy leagues and sports bars.

I rather miss Tom Mees, as he had a face for radio and didn't mind joking about it. Bob Ley started taking himself too seriously, but you just changed the channel when his smug act grew tiresome.

However, that Berman grew to be such a monster not because of his analytical skills but primarily because of his ability to quip clever nicknames (or to yell Back-Back-Back during game recaps) is just ludicrous.

It's like a direct marketing pyramid scheme up there with all newbies forced to pay dues and homage to those who went before them.

Look, you can malign ESPN all you want.  They certainly deserve it, Berman especially.  But I don't want to see anyone talking shit about their America's Cup coverage.  They practically invented televised yachting, and we wouldn't be anywhere close to where we are now without that.  Truly one of the great events in the sporting world, now accessible to a bunch of dirt-poking lubbers.  Be thankful.

[strosrays]

Look, you can malign ESPN all you want.  They certainly deserve it, Berman especially.  But I don't want to see anyone talking shit about their America's Cup coverage.  They practically invented televised yachting, and we wouldn't be anywhere close to where we are now without that.  Truly one of the great events in the sporting world, now accessible to a bunch of dirt-poking lubbers.  Be thankful.

I wish I could get hold of some of their program listings from the early days.  In addition to yachting, they also practically invented televised coverage of the pro Putt-Putt Tour; televised coverage of the pro Lumberjack Tour (for which I would have forgiven them had they only used Monty Python's "The Lumberjack Song" as their theme music. . . but, alas, they did not); and televised coverage of the pro Dude-Pulling-A-Semi-Down-The-Street-With-His-Teeth Tour, among other things.

And, all due respect, I still can't figure out how someone can sit on the sofa and watch a car race for three hours.  Watching a boat race is just beyond me.

[Mr. Happy]

And, all due respect, I still can't figure out how someone can sit on the sofa and watch a car race for three hours.  Watching a boat race is just beyond me.

Drive fast and turn left doesn't make for entertainment for me either, especially not on the telly.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I like the boat wrecks.

[ybbodeus]

That a Jimmy Buffett song?

[subnuclear]

And, all due respect, I still can't figure out how someone can sit on the sofa and watch a car race for three hours.

My father watches a huge amount of motorized vehicle racing.   When I watch it with him, I enjoy it because he can tell me who the smart and idiot drivers of that particular race are.  Once you see how the idiot drivers seriously endanger the other teams and the smart drivers can move ahead with clever moves then you can get caught up in it like any other sport.  But I can't sit and watch it without my dad and about 5 beers. 

[Alkie]

My father watches a huge amount of motorized vehicle racing.   When I watch it with him, I enjoy it because he can tell me who the smart and idiot drivers of that particular race are.  Once you see how the idiot drivers seriously endanger the other teams and the smart drivers can move ahead with clever moves then you can get caught up in it like any other sport.  But I can't sit and watch it without my dad and about 5 beers. 

I bolded the part of your post that made sense.

[Bench]

I certainly never understood the appeal of nascar, but I did always enjoy El Jefe's nascar articles in the old days.  That's pretty much the only insight I've ever gotten into the sport.

[HudsonHawk]

I certainly never understood the appeal of nascar, but I did always enjoy El Jefe's nascar articles in the old days.  That's pretty much the only insight I've ever gotten into the sport.

I guess you have to be a car guy...a gearhead...to enjoy auto racing.  You can tell the real fans from the "5 beers" crowd when the latter start droning on about the drivers.  It's all about the car.

[subnuclear]

I guess you have to be a car guy...a gearhead...to enjoy auto racing.  You can tell the real fans from the "5 beers" crowd when the latter start droning on about the drivers.  It's all about the car.

I'm not so sure about that.  My dad knows a crap load about cars, but he definitely has drivers he likes and dislikes.   Though to be fair to him, I tend to absorb more of his comments of how "Kyle Busch is an idiot" than his 30 minute descriptions on tire management.

[Lurch]

I guess you have to be a car guy...a gearhead...to enjoy auto racing.  You can tell the real fans from the "5 beers" crowd when the latter start droning on about the drivers.  It's all about the car.

Yet, Jimmie Johnson is your AP Athlete of the Year

[homer]

Look, you can malign ESPN all you want.  They certainly deserve it, Berman especially.  But I don't want to see anyone talking shit about their America's Cup coverage.  They practically invented televised yachting, and we wouldn't be anywhere close to where we are now without that.  Truly one of the great events in the sporting world, now accessible to a bunch of dirt-poking lubbers.  Be thankful.

..and brought us 'tack-tack-tack-tack-tack...'

[HudsonHawk]

I'm not so sure about that.  My dad knows a crap load about cars, but he definitely has drivers he likes and dislikes.   Though to be fair to him, I tend to absorb more of his comments of how "Kyle Busch is an idiot" than his 30 minute descriptions on tire management.

Everyone has drivers they like and dislike.  But more importantly, they have cars they like and dislike.

[Waldo]

Chris Berman is bad.  Chris Berman commentating the Home Run Derby is even worse.  Chris Berman commentating a golf tournament is about as bad as it gets.

[chuck]

..and brought us 'tack-tack-tack-tack-tack...'

This is pretty good.

[JimR]

This is pretty good.

indeed, and nominated.

[Alkie]

Berman actually just said, on a show in 2010, "we're not in Kansas anymore."

Fresh.   Funny.   Please, Mr. DirecTV installation guy, please hurry so I can watch the NFL Network pregame.

[TheWizard]

I used to really like the Stuart Scott/Rich Eisen duo on Sportscenter. Of course, that was, what, 10 or 15 years ago? Before Stuart Scott's attempts to be hip didn't seem so forced.

I was about 10 years old about then too. So I probably need to account for that.

[Alkie]

Now that you mention it, I remember liking the Eisen-Scott SC too, but for the life of me, I can't remember why I thought that.

[Mr. Happy]

I'm just sitting here watching the NFL Network on DirecTV, grateful that I don't have to watch Berman et al.

[chuck]

Berman actually just said, on a show in 2010, "we're not in Kansas anymore."

Fresh.   Funny.   Please, Mr. DirecTV installation guy, please hurry so I can watch the NFL Network pregame.

Why the fuck are you watching? You get what you ask for.

[Bench]

Before Stuart Scott's attempts to be hip didn't seem so forced.

I for one truly miss Stuart Scott summarizing the week in sports through urban spoken verse.

[ybbodeus]

I miss the refreshing quirkiness of Tom Mees, who readily acknowledged having a face for radio. Rest of 'em, save for Charlie Steiner and Trey Wingo, can kiss my go to hell.

[Limey]

Now that you mention it, I remember liking the Eisen-Scott SC too, but for the life of me, I can't remember why I thought that.

One time, people used to think this was cool.  Some still do.  There's no accounting for taste, and tastes change.  Thankfully.

What's sad is when your time has passed, yet you still keep doing the same schtick believing that it's current.

For example, I left all my vinyl back in the UK when I moved here.  There's only really one album that I haven't been able to reacquire on CD and regret no longer having:  the British Electric Foundation's "Music of Quality and Distinction, Volume One".  The rest of it was unadulterated shit.

[Limey]

I'm just sitting here watching the NFL Network on DirecTV, grateful that I don't have to watch Berman et al.

Yesterday afternoon, I watched Comcast's NFL Redzone.  While the concept is is a good one, and the execution quite well done (but no HD?, WTF?), the "host" is one of the most smug bastards on TV.  Yes, I know what I'm saying.

[Outlawscotty]

How?  Simple answer please. 
Why?

[MusicMan]

Yesterday afternoon, I watched Comcast's NFL Redzone.  While the concept is is a good one, and the execution quite well done (but no HD?, WTF?),

Get thee to ATT Uverse.  RedZone is ONLY in HD, and that thing is NFL crack.

[Limey]

Get thee to ATT Uverse.  RedZone is ONLY in HD, and that thing is NFL crack.

Don't have U-Verse available at my house.  Makes sense - after all, I am further away from AT&T's massive sub-station on W. Alabama than I can piss.  Just.

[HudsonHawk]

Don't have U-Verse available at my house.  Makes sense - after all, I am further away from AT&T's massive sub-station on W. Alabama than I can piss.  Just.

They have pills that will help make up some of that gap in distance.

[Craig]

Get thee to ATT Uverse.  RedZone is ONLY in HD, and that thing is NFL crack.

RedZone is HD on Dish Network too. In fact that's a big reason for me to watch it, because I can't get the local HD broadcasts without putting up a new antenna. RedZone is also great if you're into fantasy football, and the best thing of all is no stupid commercials.