Brian Powell killed himself

[Mr. Happy]

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20091007&content_id=7380300&vkey=news_hou&fext=.jsp&c_id=hou

Such a waste. He is survived by a wife and young children. Having attempted suicide three times in the past (I ain't even good at that), I now understand that it is the most selfish act one can commit. It usually is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. RIP

[Greg M]

While I agree that suicide is a selfish act, we don't know what type of personal distress this man was under.  People don't shot themselves in the head to piss off people in a BBS.  They have deep-seeded issues and many suffer a darkness that no person should experience.  If the man had bipolar disorder, 10-15% of people with the disorder end their own lives.  Selfish?  Yeah.  But there's an undeniable pervasive pain that these people live with that no person can truly empathize with unless they've been down a similar road.

[strosrays]

While I agree that suicide is a selfish act, we don't know what type of personal distress this man was under.  People don't shot themselves in the head to piss off people in a BBS.  They have deep-seeded issues and many suffer a darkness that no person should experience.  If the man had bipolar disorder, 10-15% of people with the disorder end their own lives.  Selfish?  Yeah.  But there's an undeniable pervasive pain that these people live with that no person can truly empathize with unless they've been down a similar road.

Mr. H. has apparently been down that road.  He seems more disgusted with Powell's decision, and sympathetic to Powell's family, who have to live with Powell's decision, than pissed off.

Either way, I am with him on this.  Not unsympathetic to Powell's struggles, whatever they were; but there is always a better option.  And a suicide affects many, many people besides just the suicidal, often in long-lasting and devastating ways, long after the guy who took himself out has been resting "in peace".  Perhaps it is the ultimate selfish act.

[VirtualBob]

... there is always a better option.  ...

If we could all just get that one simple thought firmly in hand whenever we feel like there are no options, we would be better off.  This applies not only to suicide, but to pretty much every other selfish/sinful impulse we have.  There are always options.

[JimR]

Mr. H. has apparently been down that road.  He seems more disgusted with Powell's decision, and sympathetic to Powell's family, who have to live with Powell's decision, than pissed off.

Either way, I am with him on this.  Not unsympathetic to Powell's struggles, whatever they were; but there is always a better option.  And a suicide affects many, many people besides just the suicidal, often in long-lasting and devastating ways, long after the guy who took himself out has been resting "in peace".  Perhaps it is the ultimate selfish act.

i totally agree.

[BudGirl]

i totally agree.

me too.

[Houston]

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20091007&content_id=7380300&vkey=news_hou&fext=.jsp&c_id=hou

Such a waste. He is survived by a wife and young children. Having attempted suicide three times in the past (I ain't even good at that), I now understand that it is the most selfish act one can commit. It usually is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. RIP

You were given more chances to grab a bat and get yourself back into the game. I'm hoping you're making at bat count.

[Alkie]

I see none of you have had a painful, terminal illness.

Now who's being selfish?

[Guinness]

There was an interesting comment by a guy named Mark Prindle (who reviews records online) regarding former Dead Milkmen bassist Dave Blood, who committed suicide a few years ago.  Apparenly, Prindle did an email interview with him just days before.  Prindle had this comment:

But please let me say something important here, because I never got the chance to say it to Dave: Death is going to get you in the end anyway. No matter what you do to avoid it, you will die. But it's absolutely incredible that you are alive. Do you realize how many minor incidents throughout history had to go just perfectly so that you are alive today? And if you're absolutely miserable, CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Save up to move somewhere else. See a psychiatrist. Get a divorce. Adopt a puppy. Make friends in chat rooms. Take up drinking. If somebody purposely abuses or hurts you, HURT THEM BACK. Do whatever you have to do to stay alive (without harming any innocent people, if possible). Try to create something. Drop out of school, live on a floor and join a band. If you're feeling suicidal, say to yourself, "What the hell - life's just going to kill me in the end anyway. I'd might as well go see a movie or hire a prostitute while waiting for it to happen." Whatever - it's your only life. If you feel trapped, escape into another aspect of life. The world is enormous, and there are lots of places to go, people to meet and things to do. Just DON'T GIVE UP. Because believe it or not, people will miss you. Try to squeeze every possible morsel of happiness out of life that you can in this limited time you have, because you WILL be dead some day, but you will NEVER be alive again (most likely). Please think about this, reader person, the next time you feel like calling it a day.

[Fredia]

sad

[Mr. Happy]

I suffer from bi-polar disorder.

[Guinness]

I suffer from bi-polar disorder.

I understand where you're coming from.
I think the author of the post I quoted was referring more toward people who see it as an out, not toward people with a condition, if that's not an offensive way to refer to it.  While I agree to some degree with the sentiment that it's a selfish act, my feelings more strongly tend toward GregM's sentiment, that it's a dark road that leads a person to that decision, and you'd have to walk it to understand it.  And you don't want to walk it.

[Limey]

While I agree that suicide is a selfish act, we don't know what type of personal distress this man was under.  People don't shot themselves in the head to piss off people in a BBS.  They have deep-seeded issues and many suffer a darkness that no person should experience.  If the man had bipolar disorder, 10-15% of people with the disorder end their own lives.  Selfish?  Yeah.  But there's an undeniable pervasive pain that these people live with that no person can truly empathize with unless they've been down a similar road.

My brother is bi-polar, and has one very genuine but unsuccessful suicide attempt on his resume.  Unsuccessful because he forgot to put the "Do Not Disturb" sign on his motel room door, and was discovered by housekeeping.  Had he put the sign out, he would've been dead before he missed checkout time.

One way or another, it is incredibly tough on everyone, not least on his two teenaged sons who lost their mother to cancer 12 years ago.  I will never understand my brother's decision to try and kill himself, especially as it was done when his sons were at an age where they will still very much dependents and would have been left orphaned, but the deal is that his mind wasn't functioning properly so his decision-making wasn't sound.

He is getting psychiatric treatment and medication.  Still, he will occasionally go missing and scare the shit out of everyone.  When he is found, he typically has no recollection of where he is, what he's done and how he got there.  I am resigned to the fact that he will eventually be successful at suicide and I dread early morning phone calls to my cell phone as a result - they're never good news when your family is 6 hours ahead of you.

[Reuben]

There was an interesting comment by a guy named Mark Prindle (who reviews records online) regarding former Dead Milkmen bassist Dave Blood, who committed suicide a few years ago.  Apparenly, Prindle did an email interview with him just days before.  Prindle had this comment:

But please let me say something important here, because I never got the chance to say it to Dave: Death is going to get you in the end anyway. No matter what you do to avoid it, you will die. But it's absolutely incredible that you are alive. Do you realize how many minor incidents throughout history had to go just perfectly so that you are alive today? And if you're absolutely miserable, CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Save up to move somewhere else. See a psychiatrist. Get a divorce. Adopt a puppy. Make friends in chat rooms. Take up drinking. If somebody purposely abuses or hurts you, HURT THEM BACK. Do whatever you have to do to stay alive (without harming any innocent people, if possible). Try to create something. Drop out of school, live on a floor and join a band. If you're feeling suicidal, say to yourself, "What the hell - life's just going to kill me in the end anyway. I'd might as well go see a movie or hire a prostitute while waiting for it to happen." Whatever - it's your only life. If you feel trapped, escape into another aspect of life. The world is enormous, and there are lots of places to go, people to meet and things to do. Just DON'T GIVE UP. Because believe it or not, people will miss you. Try to squeeze every possible morsel of happiness out of life that you can in this limited time you have, because you WILL be dead some day, but you will NEVER be alive again (most likely). Please think about this, reader person, the next time you feel like calling it a day.

I heartily agree with the gist of that. If you've resigned yourself to ending your life, why not just say "Fuck it, what have I got to lose??" There's a lot of incredible experiences to be had in the world. The brother of one of my best friends killed himself years ago. He suffered from alcoholism and depression, and I think he was probably just in a state where that kind of rational thinking was not possible.

Hadn't heard about Dave Blood. The Dead Milkmen is one of the last bands from whom you'd expect someone to commit suicide, which I realize is kind of a dumb thing to say.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

For the record, generally speaking, I'm against suicide. And I can only imagine the grief that Brian Powell's family is suffering.

[Ron Brand]

The people I've known who killed themselves were not thinking rationally and would never have just remembered someone's exhortations or pleas and given them any thought at all. At least one of them seemed quite happy just before she did it - not manic, just what we'd think of as normal. No amount of discussion would have helped the ones I've known, they fell into a dark place where they were the only inhabitants and took the action they did pretty quickly. One of them had second thoughts after she'd taken the pills but it was too late.

The point I'm trying to make is that often suicide is the action taken by people who can't be objective or rational at the time and they aren't going to stop and think their way out of the dark.

And Alkie, I don't think we're talking about people with terminal illnesses here.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

And Alkie, I don't think we're talking about people with terminal illnesses here.

Most in society accept, to a degree, the argument of terminal illness but not so much unbearable physical pain and even less so unbearable mental agony. If there is any hope to hold on to, that's the direction we want to lean.

[JimR]

The people I've known who killed themselves were not thinking rationally and would never have just remembered someone's exhortations or pleas and given them any thought at all. At least one of them seemed quite happy just before she did it - not manic, just what we'd think of as normal. No amount of discussion would have helped the ones I've known, they fell into a dark place where they were the only inhabitants and took the action they did pretty quickly. One of them had second thoughts after she'd taken the pills but it was too late.

The point I'm trying to make is that often suicide is the action taken by people who can't be objective or rational at the time and they aren't going to stop and think their way out of the dark.

And Alkie, I don't think we're talking about people with terminal illnesses here.

everything i have read is quite the opposite. happiness just prior is not uncommon because they HAVE figured the way out.

[Ron Brand]

In her case that might have been, but she wasn't the exuberant kind of happy, which is what I've read to be the case. She was just-normal, but had been going through a lot of stress for a while.

[strosrays]

I see none of you have had a painful, terminal illness.

Now who's being selfish?

How do you know?  OK, assuming the "terminal" part wasn't quite accurate, in the end.  At least not yet.

[Greg M]

everything i have read is quite the opposite. happiness just prior is not uncommon because they HAVE figured the way out.

The time people are most at risk for suicide is when their depression starts to lift.  They have more energy, but still carry intense feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness.  Having the energy with the recent torment in mind makes for a horrible combination. 

As far as terminal illnesses, there have been numerous studies that have shown that persons with cancer, AIDS, etc. who have also gone through a major depressive episode state that the mental anguish from the depression is far greater.  I also have bipolar, and no I've never attempted suicide nor do I have a terminal illness.  Hopefully, I'll never have to contrast my disorder with certain death.  I cannot fathom anything being worse than my darkest days.

The tragedy here is that mood disorders are VERY treatable today.  There's no excuse for a person with access to quality mental health to not be treated.  I have no idea if Powell reached out for help.  If he didn't seek professional help, that is the serious underlying issue.  For that he'd be guilty.  You could blame society as well for the stigma associated with mental illness.  Seeking out help's not always an easy step to take given that so many still do not see mental illness as a medical condition despite the abundance of genetic, neurochemical and neuroimaging research.  If your brain is structurally or functionally messed up, it doesn't matter how hard you pull on your boots. 

I feel for Powell's children.  My mother attempted suicide when I was 13 for recurrent major depression, an illness that lies more on the bipolar spectrum than the other depressive disorders.  Today, she's a totally different person, content with life.   I count my blessings that I have her and I have her healthy.  But to be selfish, I couldn't bear to see her persist in the mental state she was in for close to two decades.

[94CougarGrad]

I feel for his family. So sad and tragic. Without trying to sound like Little Miss Life Is All Sunshine and Rainbows, I admit that I can't fathom what kind of personal pain someone could have possibly been going through to make that final, terrible choice. I can't imagine how vast the pain was.