Pain

[Alkie]

You ever slice open the tip of your fucking tongue?

I seem to have done it.   No idea on what.

But let me tell you something.   This is the most painful, radiating, fiery, cry to sleep, cry to wake goddamn thing I've ever been a part of (that wasn't intentional, like say, a surgical procedure).

I can't eat a goddamn thing.  I can't swallow.  I can't sleep.   

You just don't realize how much you use the tip of your fucking tongue until you have an open wound on the end of it.  And of course, there ain't shit I can do about it.  Can't put a bandaid on it.  Can't put neosporin on it.  Tried to numb it, but it wears off after about 20 minutes and then hurts worse than before. 

I'm going to go back to crying on the fucking couch.

[SaltyParker]

Try some morphine.

[Alkie]

I am not joking; that sounds really really fantastic right now.

Hook me up.

[Mr. Happy]

Stop whining.

[Alkie]

No.

[Mr. Happy]

I want you to drown your pain and tell us a good story.

[Alkie]

I wish I could.   I'm also fighting off an awesome viral infection (related? who knows) so no drinking all fucking weekend.

I will be taking some coma-inducing drugs in about an hour, but my guess is the best story that comes out of it is "fell asleep, woke up."

[SaltyParker]

I am not joking; that sounds really really fantastic right now.

Hook me up.

I understand. I passed a kidney stone about 3 weeks ago and I was rolling around screaming in pain, but when they hooked up the IV and the morphine started flowing in; its just miraculous. When I started feeling a little something a bit later; thats when they added the daludid. Wow, no pain at all. Just a big smile. Doesn't render you unconscious so you can manage to be careful with your tongue while it heals but it nips the pain right in the bud. Seems like that would be perfect, go to a dentist and tell him its killing you. Maybe they can give you some of that topical stuff also. It's 2009. no need to rough it when such remedies are available.  

[Alkie]

I understand. I passed a kidney stone about 3 weeks ago  

I should note that I've never done the stones thing, but from every single account, the pain from that would kick the ass of my slashed tongue.

[SaltyParker]

I willing to bet a good dentist would fix you up with something to alleviate the pain and cure the cut.

[Mr. Happy]

I should note that I've never done the stones thing, but from every single account, the pain from that would kick the ass of my slashed tongue.

That's what I hear too.

[Ron Brand]

That's what I hear too.

It does.

It was so much fun I momentarily passed out while I was stumbling down the hallway so I could cut my head open on the corner of the wall. Hilarity ensued.

[Alkie]

It does.

It was so much fun I momentarily passed out while I was stumbling down the hallway so I could cut my head open on the corner of the wall. Hilarity ensued.

I checked youtube, but couldn't find it.   Limey?

[Fredia]

you should have never left texas

[Alkie]

you should have never left texas

....because...?

[Fredia]

that would have never happened in texas. i think it is against the law

[Alkie]

that would have never happened in texas. i think it is against the law

Ah.   Gotcha.   Cutting one's tongue...against the law in Texas. 

I'll tell my wife to start packing.

[BatGirl]

Ah.   Gotcha.   Cutting one's tongue...against the law in Texas. 

I'll tell my wife to start packing.

hard speaking with a forked tongue?

[Alkie]

hard speaking with a forked tongue?

Alot.

[BatGirl]

Alot.

you poor bastard

[Bench]

Good lord, Alkie.  Life isn't that tough.  I think you need to spend some time and pain reflecting on where you've gone wrong.

[Rebel Jew]

It does.

It was so much fun I momentarily passed out while I was stumbling down the hallway so I could cut my head open on the corner of the wall. Hilarity ensued.

salvia?

[Ron Brand]

salvia?

Nah, just pain and fear. At that point I'd been fighting the pain for several hours and I was convinced my appendix had burst, so I was trying to figure out how long I had before things would really get bad. This was what it took for me to finally decide to go to the hospital, which was another immensely enjoyable experience.

Finding out that it was a kidney stone - while being prepped for surgery to 'take a look' - was an incredible relief.

[JimR]

Nah, just pain and fear. At that point I'd been fighting the pain for several hours and I was convinced my appendix had burst, so I was trying to figure out how long I had before things would really get bad. This was what it took for me to finally decide to go to the hospital, which was another immensely enjoyable experience.

Finding out that it was a kidney stone - while being prepped for surgery to 'take a look' - was an incredible relief.

i have had two--30 years apart--and i do not want another. the first one i apparently passed after 7 hours (10:30 pm-5:30 am) of the most incredible pain and throwing up every 15 minutes or so. i rode that out in the fetal position on the floor of my bedroom in my parents' house. pain pills would not stay down. i could not reach my urologist by phone, and i was too dumb to go to the emergency room. it was the night and early morning before my interview for a clerkship with a 5th Circuit judge.

last year the doc told me it was too large to pass so he removed it surgically. he gave me the option in my hospital room of going home to see if it would pass on its own or to let him remove it surgically. the nurse laughingly told me later that no one ever takes the go home option.

i cannot describe how intensely horrible the pain is. it does not come in waves; it is constant. i can tell you that you do not want one ever.

[Matt]

You ever slice open the tip of your fucking tongue?

I seem to have done it.   No idea on what.

But let me tell you something.   This is the most painful, radiating, fiery, cry to sleep, cry to wake goddamn thing I've ever been a part of (that wasn't intentional, like say, a surgical procedure).

I can't eat a goddamn thing.  I can't swallow.  I can't sleep.   

You just don't realize how much you use the tip of your fucking tongue until you have an open wound on the end of it.  And of course, there ain't shit I can do about it.  Can't put a bandaid on it.  Can't put neosporin on it.  Tried to numb it, but it wears off after about 20 minutes and then hurts worse than before. 

I'm going to go back to crying on the fucking couch.

Did you say... Pain?! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3y4PFCpoOw

[94CougarGrad]

I had gallstones. Labor pains aren't even close to comparable. I did the whole curled-up-in-a-fetal-position-on-my-bedroom-floor too. Holy mother.

I have cut my tongue, and damn, it hurts, but your experience admittedly sounds far worse, Alkie.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

I'm just proud of Alkie that he can still type his esses.

[Limey]

But let me tell you something.   This is the most painful, radiating, fiery, cry to sleep, cry to wake goddamn thing I've ever been a part of (that wasn't intentional, like say, a surgical procedure).

Clearly, Sir, you have never had gout.  This time last week, if I could have achieved the necessary contortions, I would've happily gnawed off my own foot.

[Fredia]

ok if you are talking pain imagine having 100 percent joint affected rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 24..needless to say it still visits me from time to time

[Limey]

Here's a simple formula for everyone:
My pain > Your pain

And another:
Your pain = me laughing

There's a reason why YouTube is about 90% face plants and groinal poundage.

[Ron Brand]

My pain > Your pain

Your pain = me laughing

Hereafter to be known as Limey's Law.

[Lurch]

Hereafter to be known as Limey's Law.

And its corollary: my pain > me laughing 

Sadist.

[Ron Brand]

And its corollary: my pain > me laughing 

Sadist.

Could be Alkie's Corollary.

[geezerdonk]

Gout can definitely make a grown man cry. I don't know first hand but I don't think gout is anywhere near as bad as kidney stones. Allopurinol 100mg daily and no more gout. I think allopurinol also prevents formation of kidney stones.

[Limey]

Gout can definitely make a grown man cry. I don't know first hand but I don't think gout is anywhere near as bad as kidney stones. Allopurinol 100mg daily and no more gout. I think allopurinol also prevents formation of kidney stones.

I used to work with a guy who'd had two heart-bypass surgeries...and would rather have a third one than pass a second kidney stone.

I am reminded of fairly disturbing story arc in Season Two of "Deadwood" [shudder].

[JackAstro]

Would someone with experience in the matter please tell me what I can do – right now – to reduce the likelihood of ever experiencing a kidney stone (preferably to zero)? Thanks.

[Ron Brand]

I had a coworker many years ago, really sweet little old man getting close to retirement age. Friend to everybody, just a great guy, and one day he came down with shingles. Except he didn't just get it in one patch, he got it over something insane like 70% of his body and there was nothing they could do for him. He said that he couldn't sit or stand or lie down or come in contact with anything - clothes, a breeze - without it causing excruciating pain, which I think is from the breakdown of the outer sheath of nerve endings.  He was at home for six weeks. I can't imagine much of anything that would compare to that kind of pain.

[JimR]

Would someone with experience in the matter please tell me what I can do – right now – to reduce the likelihood of ever experiencing a kidney stone (preferably to zero)? Thanks.

drink LOTS of water every day. no guarantee but it helps.

[MusicMan]

Would someone with experience in the matter please tell me what I can do – right now – to reduce the likelihood of ever experiencing a kidney stone (preferably to zero)? Thanks.

drink LOTS of water every day. no guarantee but it helps.

You should listen to him... he's pre-Med.

[Taras Bulba]

I had a coworker many years ago, really sweet little old man getting close to retirement age. Friend to everybody, just a great guy, and one day he came down with shingles. Except he didn't just get it in one patch, he got it over something insane like 70% of his body and there was nothing they could do for him. He said that he couldn't sit or stand or lie down or come in contact with anything - clothes, a breeze - without it causing excruciating pain, which I think is from the breakdown of the outer sheath of nerve endings.  He was at home for six weeks. I can't imagine much of anything that would compare to that kind of pain.

They have a vaccination available now that a doctor friend advised me strongly to get (did so this afternoon).

[JimR]

how does one get shingles? is it a virus?

[BudGirl]

All I know is it has something to do with the chickenpox.  My dad had it years ago.  The rash was on half of his chest.

[MusicMan]

My understanding is that it is the chickenpox virus, exposed to an adult.

[Ron Brand]

My understanding is that it is the chickenpox virus, exposed to an adult.

I think you're more likely to have an outbreak if you are exposed to chickenpox later in life, but it's a variation that can flare up even if you had chickenpox as a kid. I've known a few people who had it but all of them had small patches - which were very painful, no doubt - but the patches were just a few inches in size.

[Lurch]

how does one get shingles? is it a virus?

Shingles is the second manifestation of symptoms from the chickenpox virus (which you can't actually get out of your system... it just goes dormant, only to rear its ugly head again many years later, now as shingles.)  So, someone with shingles previously contracted the chickenpox virus, probably as a child, and something has triggered it to flare up again with these new symptoms.  Importanly for those of us that never got chickenpox as children, someone with shingles can spread the chickenpox virus.  And it is my understanding that the initial reaction from the chickenpox virus can be deadly to an adult.

As for my credentials, I never cared much for ER, but will admit to watching several seasons of Scrubs and all but the most recent season of House.

[Outlawscotty]

Shingles is the second manifestation of symptoms from the chickenpox virus (which you can't actually get out of your system... it just goes dormant, only to rear its ugly head again many years later, now as shingles.)  So, someone with shingles previously contracted the chickenpox virus, probably as a child, and something has triggered it to flare up again with these new symptoms.  Importanly for those of us that never got chickenpox as children, someone with shingles can spread the chickenpox virus.  And it is my understanding that the initial reaction from the chickenpox virus can be deadly to an adult.

As for my credentials, I never cared much for ER, but will admit to watching several seasons of Scrubs and all but the most recent season of House.

Not to mention living staying at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

[Fredia]

one of the most impressive things i have ever read on  this site

[Holly]

I had gallstones. Labor pains aren't even close to comparable. I did the whole curled-up-in-a-fetal-position-on-my-bedroom-floor too. Holy mother.

Gotta agree on this. Two gallbladder attacks in my life. The first one was absolutely horrible, and I had to have my Mom drive down to my apartment at 2am and drive me to the ER which was 5 miles away. I couldn't have made that drive myself.

Second one wasn't as bad, but similar. At least I recognized it and knew about how long it would take to pass.

Labor wasn't too painful, but I owe that mainly to the epidural. Labor is mostly very very tiring when being induced (can't comment on natural labor), with some bouts of pain flung in here and there, and I'm sure I could happily endure that again. Gallstones? Never ever ever want to do that again. Ever.

[S.P. Rodriguez]

Shingles is the second manifestation of symptoms from the chickenpox virus (which you can't actually get out of your system... it just goes dormant, only to rear its ugly head again many years later, now as shingles.)  So, someone with shingles previously contracted the chickenpox virus, probably as a child, and something has triggered it to flare up again with these new symptoms.  Importanly for those of us that never got chickenpox as children, someone with shingles can spread the chickenpox virus.  And it is my understanding that the initial reaction from the chickenpox virus can be deadly to an adult.

As for my credentials, I never cared much for ER, but will admit to watching several seasons of Scrubs and all but the most recent season of House.

This is accurate, from what I learned when my wife came down with shingles.  It surfaces when the immune system is depleted.  Obviously, there are many things which can weaken the immune system (fatigue and other illness etc...).   Most contract shingles around the torso.  But it can also surface on the scalp and around the eye.  This latter area is of greater concern because shingles can lead to permanant nerve damage, in general.  Shingles in and around the eye can cause permanant blindness if not treated immediately.  Oh, and the capper, shingles also can cause lasting nerve related pain once the virus has run it's course.  In other words, you don't have the sores and scabs related to shingles but you have constant pain in and around the major nerve bundles on the body.  Fun stuff....

The treatment is the ever-popular anti-viral Valtrex, used by your friends with herpes.  My wife did not have a severe out-break (meaning it was a very small sore just above the eye) but was on medication for nearly 6 months before all her symptoms cleared.  She still has lasting nerve pain, which is being treated with anti-seizure meds.  She was fortunate that she did not experience any lasting damage to her eye.

[Jose Cruz III]

You ever slice open the tip of your fucking tongue?

I seem to have done it.   No idea on what.

Kawliga had a splinter?

[VirtualBob]

You should listen to him... he's pre-Med.

"pre-medicated" and "pre-Med" are different things.

[drew corleone]

drink LOTS of water every day. no guarantee but it helps.

Does the fact that my avoidance of milk since Age 5 has limited my lifetime calcium intake to infinitesimal levels decrease my odds of developing one?

[JimR]

Does the fact that my avoidance of milk since Age 5 has limited my lifetime calcium intake to infinitesimal levels decrease my odds of developing one?

dunno, but i do not drink milk either, and i have had two.

[drew corleone]

Gout can definitely make a grown man cry. I don't know first hand but I don't think gout is anywhere near as bad as kidney stones. Allopurinol 100mg daily and no more gout. I think allopurinol also prevents formation of kidney stones.

I have gout episodes flare up once or twice a year, usually in conjunction with weekends where I drink copious amounts of booze and do a lot of walking. They are usually more of an annoyance than anything (wearing shoes can be a painful proposition).

The most recent one, though, was in May, after Byron Nelson weekend in Dallas. It was by far the worst I've had. Ice, pain pills, propping up my foot... nothing helped. I couldn't even sleep. I spent three days working from home/writhing in pain, and for more than a week afterward I still couldn't get a shoe on my foot.

[BizidyDizidy]

Antacids are supposed to be bad too....

[Fredia]

as the season winds down you wonder if coop has stock in one of the companies as many as he has to take

[Outlawscotty]

So he's responsible for that too?  What's next, a sub .500 season?

[Gizzmonic]

This is accurate, from what I learned when my wife came down with shingles.  It surfaces when the immune system is depleted.  Obviously, there are many things which can weaken the immune system (fatigue and other illness etc...).   Most contract shingles around the torso.  But it can also surface on the scalp and around the eye.  This latter area is of greater concern because shingles can lead to permanant nerve damage, in general.  Shingles in and around the eye can cause permanant blindness if not treated immediately.  Oh, and the capper, shingles also can cause lasting nerve related pain once the virus has run it's course.  In other words, you don't have the sores and scabs related to shingles but you have constant pain in and around the major nerve bundles on the body.  Fun stuff....

I had a friend who was always doing the "human guinea pig" thing in college-you know, take an experimental drug, get paid, etc.  He used to brag that he got his wisdom teeth removed for $300 (WAIT FOR IT)- they paid him $300!  Anyway, one of the drugs he was taking caused him to manifest the shingles.  I didn't see him for a week.  He never did one of those drug tester things again.

Worst pain I've ever felt was getting the stitches ripped out after I had a lymph node removed.  They had to strap me to the bed, and I couldn't stop screaming.  Still, it was all over in about 2 minutes.  I hope to God I never have those kidney stones, everyone I know who's ever had one says it's the worst pain you can feel.