We're dooooooomed!

[MusicMan]

Astros beyond repair

Summary: the Astros will not even be a .500 team until 2011, at the earliest.

[strosrays]

Never heard of Larry Dobro, I mean Dobrow. . . hold on a minute??  Dobro???   Um. . . me, neither.

Anyway, here's his bio:

Larry Dobrow writes a whole lotta words, a solid 40 percent of which are coherent, for a whole lotta publications.

He is currently in his fifth year as Maxim Online's baseball columnist and regularly contributes to the site's entertainment coverage as well. In the latter role, he once picked up his phone to hear, "Larry brutha, this is Mr. T!" on the other end of the line. Nobody else seems to think this story is as entertaining as Larry does.

Larry appears every Monday night on Maxim's Sirius radio channel and, as Stuff's online television critic, gets to view HBO's Sunday night shows and 24 a whopping three weeks before everyone else. This makes him feel special. He also contributes to a host of media and technology publications, including Advertising Age, and writes MediaPost's biweekly Magazine Rack column.

In sum, Larry is busier than you are, though probably not taller. He lives in New York City with six guitars and approximately three malnourished plants, and counts running and napping among his diversions.

[JackAstro]

Oh my god, that was really, really bad. Thanks for sharing.

Hate you.

[Jacksonian]

Astros beyond repair

Summary: the Astros will not even be a .500 team until 2011, at the earliest.

I hate you MM.

[MusicMan]

I think I've found the "2 girls/1 cup" of baseball "writing".

Remember... upon experiencing pain such as this, the best thing to do is share it with your friends.

[Duman]

Could be worse, he could write about the Astros all the time.

[Rebel Jew]

"Orangina Tang Stadium"

a pun worthy of joyce himself!

[strosrays]

Could be worse, he could write about the Astros all the time.

You just had to do that, didn't you.  Actually, while reading the CBS article I kept thinking, this guy is channeling that Astros sista chick, what's her name?

I've said it before, but Lisa Gray is a special kind of stupid, on multiple levels.  With the internets, its like my momma always told me, you gotta take the bad with the good.  Right, Lisa?

[Gizzmonic]

Wow, that's utter crap.  Although I was surprised to hear him praise Adam Everett's defense...that's exceedingly rare from baseball writers, let alone ignorant self-obsessed fucktards like Mr. Dobrow appears to be.   

Never heard of Larry Dobro, I mean Dobrow. . . hold on a minute??  Dobro???   Um. . . me, neither.

Anyway, here's his bio:

Larry Dobrow writes a whole lotta words, a solid 40 percent of which are coherent, for a whole lotta publications.

He is currently in his fifth year as Maxim Online's baseball columnist and regularly contributes to the site's entertainment coverage as well. In the latter role, he once picked up his phone to hear, "Larry brutha, this is Mr. T!" on the other end of the line. Nobody else seems to think this story is as entertaining as Larry does.

Larry appears every Monday night on Maxim's Sirius radio channel and, as Stuff's online television critic, gets to view HBO's Sunday night shows and 24 a whopping three weeks before everyone else. This makes him feel special. He also contributes to a host of media and technology publications, including Advertising Age, and writes MediaPost's biweekly Magazine Rack column.

In sum, Larry is busier than you are, though probably not taller. He lives in New York City with six guitars and approximately three malnourished plants, and counts running and napping among his diversions.

[Ty in Tampa]

Please blow this thread up.

Thank you.

[toddthebod]

My favorite quote:

it's not outside the realm of possibility that the trio of Tejada, Lee and switch-hitter Berkman will combine for 90-plus dingers. Pence and Ty Wigginton, if given enough at-bats, could add 30 more.

Not outside the realm of possibility.  Let's see -- Berkman hit 34 home runs last season, Lee hit 32 HRs, and Tejada hit 18 HRs.  Considering that Berkman had a down year and Tejada didn't play in 29 games and the trio still hit 84 HRs, I would say that 90 is pretty certain (if Tejada plays).  And since Pence had 17 HRs and Wigginton had 22 HRs (and both are the starters at their positions for 2008), I think that is also pretty likely that they will add more than 30 HRs next season.

[MikeyBoy]

Astros beyond repair

Summary: the Astros will not even be a .500 team until 2011, at the earliest.

That was worse than being RicRolled.

[strosrays]

Nevermind.  Here is the benediction:

Barzilla:  I don't think the article was that unreasonable. It takes into account that we have no farm system at the moment and we likely don't have enough to win now. Even optimistic projections show that it will take three to four years for a rebuilt farm system to start bearing fruit. I don't necessarily agree with everything he said, but the overall picture was pretty accurate.

[geezerdonk]

Even optimistic projections show that it will take three to four years for a rebuilt farm system to start bearing fruit.

I vote for pears.

[Noe]

My favorite quote:

Not outside the realm of possibility.  Let's see -- Berkman hit 34 home runs last season, Lee hit 32 HRs, and Tejada hit 18 HRs.  Considering that Berkman had a down year and Tejada didn't play in 29 games and the trio still hit 84 HRs, I would say that 90 is pretty certain (if Tejada plays).  And since Pence had 17 HRs and Wigginton had 22 HRs (and both are the starters at their positions for 2008), I think that is also pretty likely that they will add more than 30 HRs next season.

My favorite was pinging the Astros for Lee, Berkman and Tejada being statuesque on defense.  And then turning around and pinging the Astros for Bourn and Matsui being less than desireable on offense.

Huh?

Pick one theme, go with it.

[MusicMan]

My favorite was pinging the Astros for Lee, Berkman and Tejada being statuesque on defense.  And then turning around and pinging the Astros for Bourn and Matsui being less than desireable on offense.

Huh?

Pick one theme, go with it.

Dude writes for Maxim.  Thinking for more than 2 seconds is against their wokplace safety code.

[pravata]

Wow, that's utter crap.  Although I was surprised to hear him praise Adam Everett's defense...that's exceedingly rare from baseball writers, let alone ignorant self-obsessed fucktards like Mr. Dobrow appears to be.   

It's become a theme this offseason, what geniuses the Twins are for signing Everett and how he's going to help their pitching. 

[pravata]

Dude writes for Maxim.  Thinking for more than 2 seconds is against their wokplace safety code.

The building they work in is more than 3 stories high and has windows that open?

[MusicMan]

The building they work in is more than 3 stories high and has windows that open?

No, that's not the problem.  Actually pondering their existence would never occur,.  I was thinking more of the collection of steam that would occur.

[Noe]

It's become a theme this offseason, what geniuses the Twins are for signing Everett and how he's going to help their pitching. 

I'm surprised the guy didn't ping the Astros for re-upping Brad Ausmus this offseason.  You know, the really horrible hitting catcher that no team in their right mind would employ Brad Ausmus.  The Brad Ausmus hated by many of those 3%'ers.  That guy.  Of course, he would have to justify why in one sentence he praised Adam Everett for his defense and then in another blasted Brad Ausmus for his hitting.

Kind of like he did with Berkman, Lee and Tejada and then with Bourn and Matsui.

[Froback]

I also love how the bag on Lee.  Always talking about this massive decline he is about to experience.  Correct me if I am wrong, but wasn't he rated by Elias as the 3rd best OFer in the NL?

And Berkman had a massively cold start to the year, but after that he hit pretty close to normal.  Not to mention that Tejada will now have tons of protection in the line-up (assuming he isn't behind all 3 of the others) compared to previous years so you would think he is in position to have a slight up-tick in production.... but I guess they all want to jump on the bandwagon that the Astros will be terrible don't they?

Seems really silly.  And the comments on the farm system seem to ignore how bad the farm was anyway, so it is not like it is THAT much worse than last year.  If they went from something like the Dodger's level to their level, now THAT would be significant, but to go from the 24 ranked system (or what ever it was) to the 31st... big deal!

The team was going to have to do some serious rebuilding of the farm system in either case.  At least now the ML club isn't in as much need as it was before.  That means they won't (in theory) need the far system as quickly, so they have time to "re-build" it.

MAN do I have superfical viewing of things.

[Nate in IA]

Usually when the pundits all start singing the same song, it's time to bet on the opposite.  Where's the Race for the Lid?  I claim 93 wins in 2008!

[Noe]

Seems really silly.  And the comments on the farm system seem to ignore how bad the farm was anyway, so it is not like it is THAT much worse than last year.  If they went from something like the Dodger's level to their level, now THAT would be significant, but to go from the 24 ranked system (or what ever it was) to the 31st... big deal!

The team was going to have to do some serious rebuilding of the farm system in either case.  At least now the ML club isn't in as much need as it was before.  That means they won't (in theory) need the far system as quickly, so they have time to "re-build" it.

MAN do I have superfical viewing of things.

How serious of a rebuilding of the farm system?

http://www.hardballtimes.com/main/article/ranking-organizations/

[Froback]

How serious of a rebuilding of the farm system?

http://www.hardballtimes.com/main/article/ranking-organizations/

That is the first one in a long time that rated the Astros THAT high.

Even as a fan, I find it hard to believe it ranked that high.

[VirtualBob]

How serious of a rebuilding of the farm system?

http://www.hardballtimes.com/main/article/ranking-organizations/

And if all minor leaguers were spheres, travelling at a constant velocity around the basepaths ...

They (the Diamondbacks) have 11 guys who are 90th-percentile or better against their age group; in other words, nearly 25% of their system is in the top 10% of minor leaguers.

From which we can further deduce that their entire minor league system consists of 44 guys?  This is silliness dressed up as statistical analysis.  And there really is a difference (sometimes).

[Noe]

That is the first one in a long time that rated the Astros THAT high.

Even as a fan, I find it hard to believe it ranked that high.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" - Jeff Kent tongue kissing a cow.

Did you notice who was below the Astros on that list?  Boston, the World Champions who have prospects that many believe were good enough to land them Santana if they so desired.  BTW - the Rangers were rated almost dead last in that ranking.  Wasn't there a minor league ranking thread in here that had the Rangers rated very high above the Astros.

One thing I will say: this particular ranking is stat related and because of that, think "performance" stats primarily.  So it's not how you view a prospect, but how did your developing kids do this past season.  It's like a post-season evaluation as opposed to a pre-season evaluation that many ranking systems like BA will do.

That is a performance ranking devoid of Hunter Pence for most of the season too... he was busy playing for the major league club for 5 of the six month minor league season.

[VirtualBob]

That is a performance ranking devoid of Hunter Pence for most of the season too... he was busy playing for the major league club for 5 of the six month minor league season.

Actually, it was published last February, so PENCE!! was included (at AA).

[Noe]

Actually, it was published last February, so PENCE!! was included (at AA).

True, good catch.  Still, the idea that Houston has had a horrid farm systems for many years seems to be contradicted by this statistically based opinion.

[Froback]

True, good catch.  Still, the idea that Houston has had a horrid farm systems for many years seems to be contradicted by this statistically based opinion.

Not only was it last Feb, but it was based on 2006 stats, which means Hirsh and Buchholz also added to the numbers.

So tons has occured over the last 12 months to cause this to be way off.

I still find it tough to believe the Astros system was near the top 1/3 even prior to the Jennings trade.  But then given I would have rated it about average and that is 16th or so, I guess it is possible some statistical rankings could make it look better.

But the draft last year, combined with some less than expected improvements in players as well as the mass trade off of most of the top talent, I would say that would plummet the rankings if (when) it is done this year.

[Noe]

Not only was it last Feb, but it was based on 2006 stats, which means Hirsh and Buchholz also added to the numbers.

So tons has occured over the last 12 months to cause this to be way off.

I still find it tough to believe the Astros system was near the top 1/3 even prior to the Jennings trade.  But then given I would have rated it about average and that is 16th or so, I guess it is possible some statistical rankings could make it look better.

But the draft last year, combined with some less than expected improvements in players as well as the mass trade off of most of the top talent, I would say that would plummet the rankings if (when) it is done this year.

But it also means that cumulatively speaking, many of the A ball guys and AA guys are still around that contributed to the ranking.  One thing to remember what we're saying here: it's about the entire farm system.  Realize that the system is compromised of developing A Ball players, High A Ball prospects, AA prospects and AAA prospect and a whole slew of roster filler guys.  Guys in the system that struggled in 2006 while they were developing may now be better prospects.  I give you Mitch Enierston for example.  Let's also take a look at the 2006 roster filler guys for a second: JR House, Josh Bonifay, Mike Coolbaugh, Super Joe McEwing, et. al.  All of those guys had great seasons at both AA and AAA.  Prospects?  Hardly.  Guys who could help at the major league level... well, yes.  So what I suspect many mean by "weak farm system" isn't really about the farm system at all.

It's really about "lack of young prospects" primarily because that is the focus in the minds of most fans and also groups that evaluate prospects, like Baseball America.  We all then call it an evaluation of the entire system chock full of developing players.  We get excited about those "prospect" guys because therein is the next Lance Berkman or Roy Oswalt or even Gunther Pence that everyone has annoited already.  But "farm system"?  I don't believe we truly understand the complexity of a "farm system" neither does many of the pundits to truly make such evaluations as "weak" or even "strong".

The idea is to bring up guys to the major league who will help you win.  On occasion, you promote a young kid who is going to be the next superstar Roy Oswalt and hope to hell he pans out as such.  See: Redding, Timmah.  But entire systems should be evaluated by how they intend to develop kids who have a talent to play baseball at one skill level with the eye towards elevating them to the major league level type of player.  Kid has a fastball... great... now teach him the changeup.  In doing so, you may not see high prospects labels for those kids (Brad James, Tip Fairchild, et. al.), but major league contributors that could help your major league club win one day?  Perhaps, if they develop.  Who can really say they know that a kid will or will not develop simply because they don't carry a "prospect" tag on them?

If we say such limiting things about a system, guys like Chris Sampson would never be a major leaguer and he would never be allowed to help a team win like he can do given how hard he's worked to get there.

[cougar]

I've never had a proctological exam (I'm looking forward to that little joy in the next couple of years)  but I'm pretty sure that that article is about as uncomfortable and embarrassing.

[juliogotay]

I've never had a proctological exam (I'm looking forward to that little joy in the next couple of years)  but I'm pretty sure that that article is about as uncomfortable and embarrassing.

THey don't last long. Don't sweat it.

[Craig]

I've never had a proctological exam (I'm looking forward to that little joy in the next couple of years)  but I'm pretty sure that that article is about as uncomfortable and embarrassing.

Well, yes and no. A colonoscopy requires self-induced diarrhea so the doctor can get a clear viewpoint. This article also apparently required self-induced diarrhea, but it flowed from the writer's fingertips. Also, the anesthesiologist gives you a drug (Versed) that makes you babble mindlessly, but the bonus is that it also gives you short-term amnesia so you forget the whole unpleasant process. Unfortunately this article came with no such drug, so the babbling cannot be forgotten.

[strosrays]

Everything is anal, when you get down to it.

[matadorph]

Could be worse, he could write about the Astros all the time.

Beat me to it.

I like to check in there from time to time for shits and laughs, and not just her, but for her regular posters. Buncha whiny-ass twits who apparently hate being Astros fans.

Note to Lisa Gray and the loyal readers of Astros Dugout: try Chloroform.

[pravata]

more pudnuttery,

By Tim Brown, Yahoo! Sports Link

"...traded for center fielder Michael Bourne" NEXT!

a Cardinal blogger Link

(Bourn)"... looks over-extended as an everyday player due to his lack of power." NEXT!

Extra bonus stupid from the same blogger (comparing position by position) "...since the Cardinals have the best 1B in the league making this a non-contest." (Yeah Pujols is that much better than Berkman as to make the comparison no contest.)

[Gizzmonic]

Sayeth Tim Brown: The Chicago Cubs haven't won a World Series for what seems like a hundred years[...]not to mention a sport that, like all of them, is healthiest when the large-market teams at least show up once in a while.

Sounds like an East Coast front running ass-kisser to me.  He thinks that baseball isn't healthy if the Cubs aren't good?  I guess MLB is suffering from the longest case of AIDS on record, then.

more pudnuttery,

By Tim Brown, Yahoo! Sports Link

"...traded for center fielder Michael Bourne" NEXT!

a Cardinal blogger Link

(Bourn)"... looks over-extended as an everyday player due to his lack of power." NEXT!

Extra bonus stupid from the same blogger (comparing position by position) "...since the Cardinals have the best 1B in the league making this a non-contest." (Yeah Pujols is that much better than Berkman as to make the comparison no contest.)