Chris Sampson

[remy]

If he pitches well tonight and comes away with a W, he will lead all Astros starters in wins and ERA.

#5 my arse.

[Bench]

If he pitches well tonight and comes away with a W, he will lead all Astros starters in wins and ERA.

#5 my arse.

Guess that means Woody's job is on the line again tonight.

[Alkie]

#5 my arse.

Everything is going.  Exactly.  As planned.

[Noe]

If he pitches well tonight and comes away with a W, he will lead all Astros starters in wins and ERA.

#5 my arse.

Ahem... you do know that this is reserved for Alkie to say and no one else can do this kind of jinxing on the TZ but me?  I dunno if the BBGs are going to be nice to you tonight... at all.  Just saying.

[remy]

Ahem... you do know that this is reserved for Alkie to say and no one else can do this kind of jinxing on the TZ but me?  I dunno if the BBGs are going to be nice to you tonight... at all.  Just saying.

Alright, even if he has a moderately shitty outing he'll still be right around Roy's numbers.

Better?

[EasTexAstro]

Alright, even if he has a moderately shitty outing he'll still be right around Roy's numbers.

Better?

So the best Sampson should aspire to is Roy Oswalt?

[Fredia]

So the best Sampson should aspire to is Roy Oswalt?

this whole thread seems to be bording on dangerour. move along

[Craig]

At least Sampson will never have to worry about being demoted to back-up catcher. Dude sucks at blocking wild pitches.

[Limey]

If he pitches well tonight and comes away with a W, he will lead all Astros starters in wins and ERA.

#5 my arse.

Amazingly pre-emptive jinx.  [Golf Clap]

[remy]

I didn't jinx shit.  He pitched a whale of a game.

Blame someone else.

[Noe]

I didn't jinx shit.  He pitched a whale of a game.

Blame someone else.

No one is blaming you, they're telling you the BBGs are not to be trifled with, is all.  Post at your own risk, but it will be noted and many will take exception to it.

"If he pitches well tonight and comes away with a W, he will lead all Astros starters in wins and ERA.

#5 my arse."

The BBGs didn't just make it hurt, they stuck the knife in the back and twisted it.  They teased you with what looked like a win by allowing Sampson to look unhittable.  Then *boom* homerun.  Then *boom* another homerun.  Then they allowed some more false hope to happen... a lead going into the 8th with Dan "Ol' Reliable" Wheeler pitching.  Two outs, one bleeder here, another bleeder there... and the lead not only evaporated... it was stuck right back into everyone's... ahum... face.

Post crap like this again at your own risk.  Oh, and to make it just a bit more sweeter, looks like the BBGs went ahead and created a really awkward moment for Sampson as well when he went over to let Wheeler know it was okay, Wheeler pushed him and told him to "get the fuck out of my face.... go over there, don't come near me!".  Not quite Michael Barret vs. Carlos Zambrano, but it will do.

Nice night for Sampson, eh?

[Anit]

did you guys see this?

http://houston.astros.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20070614&content_id=2025325&vkey=news_hou&fext=.jsp&c_id=hou

im starting to gain alkie-esque feelings about sampson..

[remy]

No one is blaming you, they're telling you the BBGs are not to be trifled with, is all.  Post at your own risk, but it will be noted and many will take exception to it.

"If he pitches well tonight and comes away with a W, he will lead all Astros starters in wins and ERA.

#5 my arse."

The BBGs didn't just make it hurt, they stuck the knife in the back and twisted it.  They teased you with what looked like a win by allowing Sampson to look unhittable.  Then *boom* homerun.  Then *boom* another homerun.  Then they allowed some more false hope to happen... a lead going into the 8th with Dan "Ol' Reliable" Wheeler pitching.  Two outs, one bleeder here, another bleeder there... and the lead not only evaporated... it was stuck right back into everyone's... ahum... face.

Post crap like this again at your own risk.  Oh, and to make it just a bit more sweeter, looks like the BBGs went ahead and created a really awkward moment for Sampson as well when he went over to let Wheeler know it was okay, Wheeler pushed him and told him to "get the fuck out of my face.... go over there, don't come near me!".  Not quite Michael Barret vs. Carlos Zambrano, but it will do.

Nice night for Sampson, eh?

Alex Jones?  Is that you?

[JimR]

I didn't jinx shit.  He pitched a whale of a game.

Blame someone else.

anyone who has this attitude should be banned. immediately. when you taunt the BBGs, i do not want you around.

[Kent's Moustache]

Alex Jones?  Is that you?

Black helicopters, man...

[Alkie]

did you guys see this?

http://houston.astros.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20070614&content_id=2025325&vkey=news_hou&fext=.jsp&c_id=hou

im starting to gain alkie-esque feelings about sampson..

Again, I feel the need to clear this up.

"Alkie" has "feelings" for Chris Sampson because of this:
110.7 IP   2.93 ERA   1.102 baserunners/inning

Not because he's a swell fellow. 
Not because he sweats like a German after running 360 feet. 
Not because he was a retired shortstop. 
Not because he's from Pasadena. 
Not because he has a pretty mouth.

I don't want to meet Chris Sampson. 
I don't want his autograph. 
I don't want to ask him 3 questions about his iPod and first truck. 

I just want to watch him pitch for the Astros every 5th game.  For a long time.

[Limey]

I just want to watch him pitch for the Astros every 5th game.  For a long time.  Because I like how his butt looks in his uni.

FIFY.

[Noe]

Alex Jones?  Is that you?

Nice night for Sampson, eh? (Psst: You're in the wrong forum)

[Noe]

anyone who has this attitude should be banned. immediately. when you taunt the BBGs, i do not want you around.

Some folks just will never, I mean *NEVER* understand.  Try as one might to inspire, teach or counsel... folks just gotta learn the hard way.

Things keep going the way they do around these parts, we're going to need Scott Baio magic again... 2007 version.  I nominate Jennifer Love Hewitt, although that isn't much of a sacrifice to us is it?

[Alkie]

Some folks just will never, I mean *NEVER* understand.  Try as one might to inspire, teach or counsel... folks just gotta learn the hard way.

Things keep going the way they do around these parts, we're going to need Scott Baio magic again... 2007 version.  I nominate Jennifer Love Hewitt, although that isn't much of a sacrifice to us is it?

Not a sacrifice and it didn't work.

C'mon Noe, you know better.  We don't land on Baio.  Baio lands on us.  When it happens, you will know.  Until then, don't force Baio.  That is false and offensive.  Repent.  Bring the group JLH titties.

[Noe]

Not a sacrifice and it didn't work.

C'mon Noe, you know better.  We don't land on Baio.  Baio lands on us.  When it happens, you will know.  Until then, don't force Baio.  That is false and offensive.  Repent.  Bring the group JLH titties.

Once again, you are correct.  Some times, you just cannot get ahead of the magic, the magic must come to you.

[Alkie]

Once again, you are correct.  Some times, you just cannot get ahead of the magic, the magic must come to you.

Here.  This is me doing your job for you.

http://img360.imageshack.us/img360/4858/jenniferlovehewittqy2.jpg

You're welcome.

Kleenex is in the bottom drawer.

[Astroholic]

Here.  This is me doing your job for you.

http://img360.imageshack.us/img360/4858/jenniferlovehewittqy2.jpg

You're welcome.

Kleenex is in the bottom drawer.

Now that does not leave much to the imagination.

[Alkie]

Now that does not leave much to the imagination.

Not true.  In my imagination of that picture, there are 4 breasts.

[MusicMan]

I reverse my previous stand.

Those are C's, tops.

[Astroholic]

Not true.  In my imagination of that picture, there are 4 breasts.

Dare I ask, whose are the other two...yours?

[Alkie]

I reverse my previous stand.

Those are C's, tops.

Well, that's the weird thing.  The right one is a C, the left one is a B-flat.

[Alkie]

Dare I ask, whose are the other two...yours?

No, hers.  Directly below the two that already exist in your reality.

[Astroholic]

No, hers.  Directly below the two that already exist in your reality.

So two are not enough for ya?  Freak.

[Alkie]

So two are not enough for ya?  Freak.

I have two hands, one mouth, and one phallus. 

[gleach]

There will never be enough.

[Alkie]

Yikes.  Here she is without makeup on.

http://www.jordanisyourhomeboy.com/photos/jennifer-love-hewitt-01.jpg

Dartmouth?  GROSS!

[Astroholic]

I have two hands, one mouth, and one phallus. 

Any you can use all of these at the same time?  Talented Freak.

[MusicMan]

Yikes.  Here she is without makeup on.

http://www.jordanisyourhomeboy.com/photos/jennifer-love-hewitt-01.jpg

Dartmouth?  GROSS!

I'm assuming that's her boyfriend behind her?  Could he look any more whipped?

[MusicMan]

Any you can use all of these at the same time?  

Why else would you go to college?

[Astroholic]

I'm assuming that's her boyfriend behind her?  Could he look any more whipped?

If you woke up to that every morning..what would you be?

[Alkie]

If you woke up to that every morning..what would you be?

A chump.  She'd be fun for one night (at best) and then I imagine it would be more annoying than you could take.  Look at that guy's face.  He's only sticking around for the money at this point.  Trust me.  He's cheating on her.

[Astroholic]

A chump.  She'd be fun for one night (at best) and then I imagine it would be more annoying than you could take.  Look at that guy's face.  He's only sticking around for the money at this point.  Trust me.  He's cheating on her.

And I am sure she is completely faithful as well.  I think I would stick around for longer that one night.

[Astroholic]

Why else would you go to college?

Drink Beer, Play Poker and eat Pizza.

[Limey]

Well, that's the weird thing.  The right one is a C, the left one is a B-flat.

Probably because it's a fake.

[Alkie]

Probably because it's a fake.

The picture or the tit?

[Bench]

The picture or the tit?

Both.

[Limey]

The picture or the tit?

The picture.  In my mind JLH's chesticles do not look like a bad boob-job and don't point in different directions.

[Bench]

The picture.  In my mind JLH's chesticles do not look like a bad boob-job and don't point in different directions.

Nor has she ever walked around in public in a transparent shirt. Those pictures would be everywhere.

[Alkie]

Nor has she ever walked around in public in a transparent shirt. Those pictures would be everywhere.

You mean like the "internet" where I "found them" in a few seconds?

I'd bet it's real.

[Limey]

You mean like the "internet" where I "found them" in a few seconds?

I'd bet it's real.

99.9999% of that stuff on the internets is fake.  This probably isn't really me posting.  Did I just blow your mind?

[Astroholic]

You mean like the "internet" where I "found them" in a few seconds?

I'd bet it's real.

In my mind they are.  That is probably why they are not perfect.

Better go look again.

[Alkie]

99.9999% of that stuff on the internets is fake. 

No.  Way.

In this case, I'd bet that picture is real.  If she had big huge perfectly shaped breasts in the picture, I'd say it's fake.  The fact that those look like human tits and not Californian tits says to me..it's real.

[MikeyBoy]

Yikes.  Here she is without makeup on.

http://www.jordanisyourhomeboy.com/photos/jennifer-love-hewitt-01.jpg

Dartmouth?  GROSS!

I'd still hit it.

[Limey]

No.  Way.

In this case, I'd bet that picture is real.  If she had big huge perfectly shaped breasts in the picture, I'd say it's fake.  The fact that those look like human tits and not Californian tits says to me..it's real.

So you think that these, are the same as these?  I don't think so.

[Astroholic]

So you think that these, are the same as these?  I don't think so.

Have to check when I get home.  Computer police stopped me.

[matadorph]

No.  Way.

In this case, I'd bet that picture is real.  If she had big huge perfectly shaped breasts in the picture, I'd say it's fake.  The fact that those look like human tits and not Californian tits says to me..it's real.

That pic is an obvious fake. That blouse is photoshopped between the belly and the seam above her boobs. Those tits are not the same as these.

[Alkie]

So you think that these, are the same as these?  I don't think so.

Not trying to sound naive.  Yes.  I really do.  Boobs are amazing things.  It's not that hard to manipulate them.  In one picture, she is essentially wearing a bra (the bikini), in the other picture, they're just hanging out as I intended.  Same boobs.  Real picture.  Life is pain.

[Alkie]

That pic is an obvious fake. That blouse is photoshopped between the belly and the seam above her boobs. Those tits are not the same as these.

We can call and ask her.  I have her in my T-Mobile Five.

[JimR]

what is amazing is this discussion. sounds like a junior high boys locker room.

[matadorph]

I rest my case.

[Alkie]

I rest my case.

Nice work.

[Alkie]

what is amazing is this discussion. sounds like a junior high boys locker room.

Aw man, who invited the narc?

[Alkie]

Hewitt was born in Waco, Texas, to Herbert Daniel Hewitt and Patricia Mae Shipp. Her father is a technician and her mother worked as a speech-language pathologist. Hewitt grew up in Harker Heights, Texas. After the divorce of her parents, Hewitt and her only sibling, Todd Hewitt, were brought up by her mother. Her first name was given to her by her brother, after a girl he was fond of as a youngster,

Uhh...gross.

[Alkie]

Nor has she ever walked around in public in a transparent shirt. Those pictures would be everywhere.

Good call.
http://www.toxicmagazine.com/?p=512

[matadorph]

Too eye-popping to not share here.

[Astroholic]

Too eye-popping to not share here.

Damn yall need to stop it, or at least wait until 5:30 when I get home.  Anticipation.

[Limey]

Too eye-popping to not share here.

Ditto.  And a bonus Jennifer.