Astros @ Asswipe's Employer

[MikeyBoy]

Biggio - DH
Burke - CF
Berkman - RF
Lee - LF
Loretta - 2B
Ensberg - 3B
Lamb - 1B
Ausmus - C
Everett - SS

Wandy - P



 
Iguchi - 2B 
Gonzalez - LF 
Thome - DH 
Konerko - 1B 
Dye - RF 
Fields - 3B
Terrero - CF 
Hall - C 
Uribe - SS

Buerhle - P

[JimR]

i really like Munson's play thus far.

[pravata]

almost every able bodied player is in the lineup.  Anyone hear anything about Pence and Scott?

[pravata]

i really like Munson's play thus far.

Looks solid, like a tree stump, quiet target. 

[JimR]

Looks solid, like a tree stump, quiet target. 

hitting lots of line drives at people.

he threw runners out in RR. i thought he made himself into a very good catcher.

[MikeyBoy]

Bidge K's on 4 pitches.
Burke fly out to CF on first pitch.
Berkman pops up to 3B on 3rd pitch.

Going to bottom of 1st.
0-0

[homer]

Lee-Burke-Berkman is just not cool.

[Matt]

Lee-Burke-Berkman is just not cool.

It's the Pancake Squad

[MikeyBoy]

Iguchi fly out to CF on a 3-1 count.
Gonzalez single up the middle on a 3-2 count.
Thome weak line out to 2B on a 1-1 count.
1-3-4 CS to end the inning.

To the top of 2nd.
0-0

[MikeyBoy]

Lee admires a fly out to LF with first pitch.
Loretta fly out to LF on a 2-2 count.
Moberg grounds to SS.

Bottom of 2nd.
0-0

[MusicMan]

And we thought the Astros were loafing??  Konerko couldn't have run any slower and still gotten the double.

[MRaup]

And we thought the Astros were loafing??  Konerko couldn't have run any slower and still gotten the double.

Speaking of loafing, nice fucking Ole there Carlos.

[MikeyBoy]

What the fuck?

[remy]

That was super pretty, Carlos.

[Amy]

What the hell was Lee doing out there?  Shitfuck.

[homer]

What the hell was Lee doing out there?  Shitfuck.

He took his eye off the flapjack.

[mihoba]

He took his eye off the flapjack.

He could have nailed the lead footed Konerko. A missed opp.

[MRaup]

He could have nailed the lead footed Konerko. A missed opp.

Konerko was stumbling, falling, and basically tripping all over his own dick rounding 3rd.

[Alkie]

Astros on Sunday:  1-7.  Average score is 6.5 (opponents) to 2.8 (Astros).

Is there a mandatory club party every Saturday night?

[MikeyBoy]

Quintero optioned to RR, lefty McClemore recalled.

[Amy]

Astros on Sunday:  1-7.  Average score is 6.5 (opponents) to 2.8 (Astros).

Is there a mandatory club party every Saturday night?

This club?  Not unless it's a church social.

[Alkie]

This club?  Not unless it's a church social.

Ah, so like Hobby Lobby and Chik-fil-a, the Houston Astros give their employees the day off on Sunday so that they may worship with their families?

[remy]

Quintero optioned to RR, lefty McClemore recalled.

Good. One step closer to unloading reverT.

[mihoba]

Bidge beats the DP.... by busting his ass down the line. Again. Takes notes lazy-ass teammates.

[MRaup]

Bidge's two at bats have been aaaaaaaaaawful today.

Annnnnnnnnd thanks Chris Burke for an even shittier at bat to follow Bidge.

[homer]

Good. One step closer to unloading reverT.

reverT will be here the whole season unless his arm falls off or he is traded. Just get used to it.

[Matt]

Burke looks like he misses Round Rock.

[Alkie]

Burke looks like he misses Round Rock.

We can make that happen.

[Amy]

We can make that happen.

Can you imagine the bitching and moaning if he got sent down again?

[homer]

Can you imagine the bitching and moaning if he got sent down again?

From Burke? Or the fans?

[Amy]

From Burke? Or the fans?

From Burke, and possibly Berkman.

[Mr. Happy]

From Burke? Or the fans?

Or from Twinkie.

[Amy]

Liking the extra base hits from the Twinkie.

[Alkie]

The only thing that matters this week....is that Lance is driving the ball again.  Let this be The Beginning.  Or the Big Inning.  Either way.

[Matt]

To be fair, Berkman has started hitting better since his hetero-life mate was called back up.

[Amy]

I believe that's what they call a ground ball with eyes.

[Alkie]

My brain bleeds.

[homer]

Fucking Carlos Lee is the worst fucking baserunner of all fucking time.

[MusicMan]

Motherfucker.

Pravata nailed it - Bagwell's Astros are a distant memory.

[MRaup]

Jesus christ, Carlos. You dumb fuck.

[Amy]

Fuck.  Did someone hit Lee over the head with a bat?  Or will they?

[mihoba]

Bonehead.

[Alkie]

Bagwell

Who?

[Amy]

Motherfucker.

Pravata nailed it - Bagwell's Astros are a distant memory.

Makes me want to cry.

[homer]

Son of a bitch, way to kill a rally Carlos.

[MRaup]

And Fuck you Randy Marsh. yet another home plate umpire with a roaming strike zone.

[MusicMan]

And Fuck you Randy Marsh. yet another home plate umpire with a roaming strike zone.

Sorry, but this team has forfeited any right to complain.

[homer]

And Fuck you Randy Marsh. yet another home plate umpire with a roaming strike zone.

Good to see the strikezone around the knees is now open for business.

[Alkie]

Sorry, but this team has forfeited any right to complain.

This one time...on a soft fly to shallow left...I watched Carlos Lee get doubled off first while he was standing nearly on 2nd.  I think he was near second.  He may have been trying to swipe the resin bag.  Honestly, I have no idea what he was doing.

[MusicMan]

This Konerko guy is a real pain in the ass.

[MusicMan]

STAND UP, WANDY!!!

The man is slower than Lance!

[MRaup]

Sorry, but this team has forfeited any right to complain.

Lucky for me, I don't play for the Astros. I just watch. I'm just consistantly baffled by how awful the home plate umpiring is this year.

[mihoba]

Honestly, I have no idea what he was doing.

Thinking about his fucked up/no excuse error that caused the only run of the game?

No fundamentals for a ballplayer. Sad.

[Alkie]

Thinking about his fucked up/no excuse error that caused the only run of the game?

No fundamentals for a ballplayer. Sad.

Think about THIS...if God had miracled Lance's ass past 1st base the first two months of the season, NoFundamentals would be on track for almost 200 RBI this season.   I'm certainly not excusing his dumbfuckery, but he is doing the one thing we paid him to do.

[Amy]

dumbfuckery

I like this word.

[mihoba]

Think about THIS...if God had miracled Lance's ass past 1st base the first two months of the season, NoFundamentals would be on track for almost 200 RBI this season.   I'm certainly not excusing his dumbfuckery, but he is doing the one thing we paid him to do.

A one dimensional player that the Astros are stuck with. If he wasn't lazy, I could stand the slow part. Even after he realized he was a dead duck, he just stopped and watched. Hustle is not in his vocabulary, and I detest that.

Of course, he could change the deficit he caused with one swing.

[Amy]

Holy crap Wandy.

[Navin R Johnson]

The guy finally hustles going from 1st to 2nd and you guys are complaining!

[Amy]

Looking like a typical Sunday game.  Fuck.

[legs_of_eggs]

Son of a bitch, way to kill a rally Carlos.

its just Carlos being Carlos

[MRaup]

Jim Thome has seen 5 strikes in 5 pitches. 3 of which Randy Marsh's blind ass called a ball.

[Alkie]

A one dimensional player that the Astros are stuck with. If he wasn't lazy, I could stand the slow part. Even after he realized he was a dead duck, he just stopped and watched. Hustle is not in his vocabulary, and I detest that.

Of course, he could change the deficit he caused with one swing.

Check this out.  Lance Berkman has pretty much been on base at about a .400 clip all year (which is pretty good), ahead of Carlos Lee in every game. 

Carlos Lee leads the NL in RBIs.

Carlos Lee has driven in Lance Berkman THREE TIMES THIS SEASON on something other than a HR.  The 5 times Lee homered with Berkman on base...Lance was on 1st.  I don't think I'm overstating this.  If Lance Berkman had been hitting doubles at his usual rate, Carlos Lee would have 59 RBIs right now, on track for 154 RBIs this season (ok, well below 200, but STILL).

I'm just saying, if someone said before the year that you could have a man who would drive in 154 runs on THIS ASTROS TEAM, but who is below average defensively and so bad on the basepaths that my grandfather is drooling on himself in his grave, wouldn't you still take him?

[Anit]

this is ugly....

[MRaup]

Allright, honestly... Get Wandy the fuck out of the game already.

[mihoba]

Check this out.  Lance Berkman has pretty much been on base at about a .400 clip all year (which is pretty good), ahead of Carlos Lee in every game. 

Carlos Lee leads the NL in RBIs.

Carlos Lee has driven in Lance Berkman THREE TIMES THIS SEASON on something other than a HR.  The 5 times Lee homered with Berkman on base...Lance was on 1st.  I don't think I'm overstating this.  If Lance Berkman had been hitting doubles at his usual rate, Carlos Lee would have 59 RBIs right now, on track for 154 RBIs this season (ok, well below 200, but STILL).

I'm just saying, if someone said before the year that you could have a man who would drive in 154 runs on THIS ASTROS TEAM, but who is below average defensively and so bad on the basepaths that my grandfather is drooling on himself in his grave, wouldn't you still take him?

Yes, because the Astros had to have a hitter.

[Amy]

Allright, honestly... Get Wandy the fuck out of the game already.

What's the difference?  Our offense isn't going to get Buehrle out of the game soon enough to put up six runs on their pen.

[Navin R Johnson]

super play by Mo.

[Alkie]

Yes, because the Astros had to have a hitter.

Right, see.  So, you got what you axed fer.

I think we've all figured out (I'm not picking on you) that Carlos Beltran type players are few, far between, and not signing with the Astros.  So, we go with players like Everett, Ausmus, and Lee. 

Carlos Lee is who we thought he was. 

[MRaup]

What's the difference?  Our offense isn't going to get Buehrle out of the game soon enough to put up six runs on their pen.

Maybe to keep Wandy from giving up more runs?

Maybe to give the team a chance to get back in it?

[Alkie]

Maybe to keep Wandy from giving up more runs?

Maybe to give the team a chance to get back in it?

While I could easily see us scoring 6+ on the Sox pen (uh, except yesterday, I mean), I don't see it against Buerelelelhele.

[MRaup]

FUCK YOU RANDY MARSH!

[mihoba]

Carlos Lee is who we thought he was. 

Not quite. I expect every player to hustle and give 100% between the lines.

I'm in my own little world.

[Amy]

While I could easily see us scoring 6+ on the Sox pen (uh, except yesterday, I mean), I don't see it against Buerelelelhele.

This is what I'm saying.  He's cruising.  As bad as their pen is, Ozzie's going to leave him out there as long as possible.

[Amy]

Damn, I forgot Moehler was still on the team.

[Alkie]

Not quite. I expect every player to hustle and give 100% between the lines.

Seriously?  You expected him to suddenly start hustling after a decade of not hustling?  Why?  Because he and his descendents will never have to worry about money or cattle again? 

C'mon man, again, I'm not saying he SHOULDN'T hustle, of COURSE he should.  And it pisses me off as much as it pisses you off.  I just think it's kind of interesting that you're attacking possibly the only Astro this season who has met his expectations EXACTLY.

That's it.

[Alkie]

Moehler

Who?

[Alkie]

Carlos Lee would have 59 RBIs right now, on track for 154 RBIs this season

By the way, this would rank as the 32nd best single season ever in terms of runs batted in. 

You want him to hustle too?  It's not like he's getting paid extra to....oh.

[mihoba]

Seriously?  You expected him to suddenly start hustling after a decade of not hustling?  Why?  Because he and his descendents will never have to worry about money or cattle again? 

C'mon man, again, I'm not saying he SHOULDN'T hustle, of COURSE he should.  And it pisses me off as much as it pisses you off.  I just think it's kind of interesting that you're attacking possibly the only Astro this season who has met his expectations EXACTLY.

That's it.

I never really paid attention to Lee when he was with another team. Overall, I agree Lee has been a big asset to the team. He has actually hit better than I expected, but his lazy attitude is MUCH worse than I expected.

[Alkie]

I never really paid attention to Lee when he was with another team. Overall, I agree Lee has been a big asset to the team. He has actually hit better than I expected, but his lazy attitude is MUCH worse than I expected.

Best get used to it, holmes.  FIVE MORE YEARS.  FIVES MORE YEARS.

[Anit]

well how about that..a run

[Amy]

By the way, this would rank as the 32nd best single season ever in terms of runs batted in. 

You want him to hustle too?  It's not like he's getting paid extra to....oh.

I hear you, but I can also sympathize with folks who have a tough time stomaching loafers after years of watching Bidge and Baggy.  Lee's way has not been the Astro way and I don't want that to change.  We're spoiled, I guess.

[Amy]

The Chicago broadcast just reported that the Reds and Indians are in extra innings, tied 0-0.  How the fuck did the Indians not score on the Reds' bullpen?  I didn't know that was possible.

[Navin R Johnson]

The Chicago broadcast just reported that the Reds and Indians are in extra innings, tied 0-0.  How the fuck did the Indians not score on the Reds' bullpen?  I didn't know that was possible.

too much skyline last night?

[Alkie]

Good.  JD making Simpsons ref jokes now.  Game over, ladies and gents.

[MRaup]

What's the difference?  Our offense isn't going to get Buehrle out of the game soon enough to put up six runs on their pen.

So yeah, if Wandy hadn't been left out to dry in the 5th, Luke Scott would be the tying run at the plate in the bottom of the 9th...

[Navin R Johnson]

Fuck Marsh.

[MRaup]

Surprise Surprise, Randy calls on that hasn't been a strike at all today to end it too.

[Alkie]

So yeah, if Wandy hadn't been left out to dry in the 5th, Luke Scott would be the tying run at the plate in the bottom of the 9th...

Would Randy Marsh still be "calling" balls and "strikes"?

[JimR]

Right, see.  So, you got what you axed fer.

I think we've all figured out (I'm not picking on you) that Carlos Beltran type players are few, far between, and not signing with the Astros.  So, we go with players like Everett, Ausmus, and Lee. 

Carlos Lee is who we thought he was. 

i do not know about you, but Carlos Lee is far, far better than i thought he was.

[Alkie]

i do not know about you, but Carlos Lee is far, far better than i thought he was.

I never expected 140+ RBIs.  I wasn't saying he was "what we thought he was" in a negative sense at all.  I was saying that we expected him to do one thing: drive in a shitload of runs.  He's way ahead of "shitload." 

More than 139 and he'll have one of the 100 best RBI single-seasons ever. 

[JimR]

I never expected 140+ RBIs.  I wasn't saying he was "what we thought he was" in a negative sense at all.  I was saying that we expected him to do one thing: drive in a shitload of runs.  He's way ahead of "shitload." 

More than 139 and he'll have one of the 100 best RBI single-seasons ever. 

yep.

he is a much better hitter than i thought. his two-strike approach is textbook.

if he busted his ass on the bases, i would think he is an all-timer with this team.