Astros@Reds - 4/18

[remy]

NO.    HOUSTON    CINCINNATI
1.    C. Biggio, 2B    R. Freel, 3B
2.    M. Lamb, 3B    J. Hamilton, CF
3.    L. Berkman, 1B    A. Dunn, LF
4.    C. Lee, LF    K. Griffey Jr., RF
5.    L. Scott, RF    B. Phillips, 2B
6.    J. Lane, CF    S. Hatteberg, 1B
7.    A. Everett, SS    A. Gonzalez, SS
8.    B. Ausmus, C    D. Ross, C
9.    C. Sampson, P    A. Harang, P



Scott and Lane?

[mihoba]

Lane is 4-12 with a pair of homers off of Harang, and Scott is 4-10, all extra base hits. Burke was 1-12.

[remy]

Burke probably was due for a day off, anyhow.

Hopefully this lineup will be able to figure Harang out... seems like he's owned us pretty good in the past.

[Alkie]

Lamb-Berkman-Lee-Scott.  I like it.

We win tonight.

[EasTexAstro]

Good to see Lamb in there. He really needs to get some ABs to keep that bat in shape. He has become one of the best off the bench when you need a hit.

[EasTexAstro]

WOOHOO!

Gary Darling at 3rd.

Which way do the umps rotate?

[Bench]

KNWS game, no desire to celebrate independent broadcasting here in the Golden Triangle.

Looks like it's me, Milo and you fellers tonight.

[EasTexAstro]

I'll just keep posting...

Anyone doing PBP?

[Bench]

KNWS game, no desire to celebrate independent broadcasting here in the Golden Triangle.

Looks like it's me, Milo and you fellers tonight.

Oh wait, road game. That means boring lucidity.

[Bench]

Biggio up: a ball, called strike, foul tip.

1-2 pitch fouled to first base side out of play.

Low, 2-2.

Swings, pop up to right. Junyah squeezes it.

[EasTexAstro]

Bigigo up

Ball low.
Takes a strike on the outside.
Foul tip, stirke 2
1-2 pitch fouled down left field line.
Ball.

Pooped to Griffey in RF

[EasTexAstro]

It is all you, bench...I should really be studying for an exam tomorrow.

[Bench]

It is all you, bench...I should really be studying for an exam tomorrow.

Well sheet. I can do it for a couple of innings.

Clank quickly grounds out 6-3.

[Alkie]

Another quality AB by Tub'o'goo. 

SWING THE BAT, YOU CHUMP.

[Bench]

Lance strike swinging, strike foul tipping.

0-2 pitch, outside for a ball.

1-2, looked outside to Do-Ray, called strike 3.

Sad when Biggio has the longest at bat in the inning.

[EasTexAstro]

Apparently, Larry Poncino hasn't quite waken up from his nap. Doen't quite have the energy to get the strike calls noticed. At least, the radio guys are struggling with it.

[Alkie]

Lance strike swinging, strike foul tipping.

0-2 pitch, outside for a ball.

1-2, looked outside to Do-Ray, called strike 3.

Sad when Biggio has the longest at bat in the inning.

OutSIDE?  Are you kidding?  It was right down the fucking middle.  If anything, it was LOW, but sure as fuck not OUTSIDE.

[EasTexAstro]

Berkman must have been stealing snacks from the fans.

[Bench]

Freel grounds out to Clank after sending Berkman tumbling through the tarp trying to track down a foul pop.

[Bench]

Heroin Hamilton first pitch ground out, 4-3.

[Bench]

Adam Dunn up.

Outside corner, strike 1, looking.

Fouls off a fastball, 0-2 count. (Apparantly Dunn, Sampson and Kip Wells work out together during the offseason).

Ball.

Strike 3 looking.

Verrah nice, Chris. Quick inning.

[EasTexAstro]

Wow. 7 pitches and Sampson works his way through 3 .300 hitters to start the game.

[Bench]

OutSIDE?  Are you kidding?  It was right down the fucking middle.  If anything, it was LOW, but sure as fuck not OUTSIDE.

Do not doubt Brett and/or Dave. They will play harmless pranks on an old man, there is no telling what they would do to one of us.

[homer]

What was JD laughing about? I took my eyes off the screen and don't have Tivo power tonight...

[Lurch]

Austinites, I'm picking up a fairly weak signal over the air on channel 2.  No idea yet where it's coming from, but if its south of me (Leander) you may get a better picture.

[Bench]

Caballo, takes outside ball 1.

Looks at strike 1 on the outside corner.

Ball 2, up and in.

Fouled off to first base side, 2-2

Laced foul into the stands.

2-2, lofted to center, one out.

[Alkie]

Chris Sampson's career ERA against the NL now: 1.10

It's "ok."

[Alkie]

Noooooooooo.

Fuck you Junior.

[Bench]

Frogman up.

First pitch, inside. Ball 1.

1-0 is down. 2-0.

Scott swings, high fly ball, Griffey leaps at the wall and makes the catch.

Crappah.

[homer]

fuck junyah.

[Bench]

Noooooooooo.

Fuck you Junior.

Two nights in a row. Doublefuck.

[Bench]

Lane laces it down the third base line.

Stand up double for the future Hall of Famer.

[EasTexAstro]

Well, that sucks for Batman....er...Luke.

[Alkie]

Nice piece of hittin' there, Jane.

[Jacksonian]

Chris Sampson's career ERA against the NL now: 1.10

It's "ok."

You must be the standard bearer for hypertensives in the Houston area.

[EasTexAstro]

Nice piece of hittin' there, Jane.

I'll be in my bunk.

[matadorph]

Austinites, I'm picking up a fairly weak signal over the air on channel 2.  No idea yet where it's coming from, but if its south of me (Leander) you may get a better picture.

That's KCWX out of Fredricksburg. The lucky fans in San Antonio get that CW station while those of us in Austin get KNWA. Does anyone have a spare set of rabbit ears?

[Bench]

Everett, up. Second in the NL in RISP (.500)

Looks at strike 1.

Second pitch high, 2-1.

Outside and high, 2-1.

2-1, swinging and missing.

2-2, Everett goes down swinging. Inning over.

[Alkie]

You must be the standard bearer for hypertensives in the Houston area.

Wait, wait, wait, when I complain, I get called out for complaining.

When I am quick to point out something incredibly cool and positive about an Astro, I get called out too?

Can't have it both ways, bub.

[Bench]

Bottom of the 2nd.

Junyah, Phillips and Hatteburg due.

[Bench]

Griffey lofts one to left center, Lane calls of Carlos and tracks it down.

[Jacksonian]

Wait, wait, wait, when I complain, I get called out for complaining.

When I am quick to point out something incredibly cool and positive about an Astro, I get called out too?

Can't have it both ways, bub.

I considered your entire body of work, including the sarcasm.

[Bench]

Righty Brandon Phillips steps in.

First pitch, strike looking.

Second pitch, outside for a ball.

The all important 1-1 pitch: Phillips bounces foul.

1-2: Misses outside.

2-2: Fly ball deep center, bounces off the top of the fence and is outtahere.

[Bench]

What's Sampson's ERA now, Alkie?

[Alkie]

Well, fuck.

1.31

[Bench]

Hatteburg steps in.

First pitch, strike looking.

Second pitch, fastball in.

The all important 1-1 pitch: Swing, lined to center. Base hit.

[Bench]

Well, fuck.

1.31

I'd say that's still "OK."

[Alkie]

You won't believe this.

Chris Sampson has now given up 4 HRs total in his career.

2 of those are to Brandon Phillips, who has a total of 26 career HRs.

[Bench]

Gonzalez in, one out, Hatteburg on first.

Gonzalez quickly down 0-2. Everett and Biggio at DP depth, Lamb deep but on the line. Outfield straight up.

Just outside, Do-Ray thought it looked mighty nice.

1-2: Bounce to clank, to Biggio, to Berkman. 5-4-3.

[Alkie]

See, that's what I think is interesting about Burke's defense.

I think if you asked everyone who the worst defensive player was (at his game-used position(s)), most folks would say Lamb-at-3rd.

And the thing is...Lamb-at-3rd is light years better than Burke-in-CF.

[homer]

You won't believe this.

Chris Sampson has now given up 4 HRs total in his career.

2 of those are to Brandon Phillips, who has a total of 26 career HRs.

fuck brandon phillips

[Alkie]

I'd say that's still "OK."

Back down to 1.29. 

Whew. 

[Bench]

See, that's what I think is interesting about Burke's defense.

I think if you asked everyone who the worst defensive player was (at his game-used position(s)), most folks would say Lamb-at-3rd.

And the thing is...Lamb-at-3rd is light years better than Burke-in-CF.

Don't give him too much credit. Burke can catch it when the ball hits his glove also.

Well, most of the time anyway.

[Bench]

Swinging Brad Ausmus looks in.

Lines it to Hamilton, first pitch out.

[Alkie]

It was more about how bad Burke is than how good Lamb is.  

To me, I think Lamb is a servicable 3B, who makes up for the possible runs lost on the field with his bat (by far).

I can't say the same thing for Burke, whose mistakes in the OF usually mean extra bases.  Oh, and he's not exactly El Kabong.

[Bench]

Sampson settles in.

Quickly in the hole 0-2.

Swing and a miss, strike 3.

[Jacksonian]

Back down to 1.29. 

Whew. 

Awesome fact.  Chris Sampson's is the first professional autograph my 5 year old son ever got.  2005 at a Hooks game right before getting Jason Hirsh's.

[Alkie]

Wait, I thought you cats were exaggerating when you said Craig had ZERO walks.

No. 

He has ZERO walks. 

I hate Griffey.

[Bench]

Biggio takes his time stepping in to give Sampson a chance to catch his breath, and that makes up for first pitch swinging.

Grounded foul. Next pitch inside.

1-1 pitch: fouled straight back.

1-2: Griffey makes a running catch on a line drive towards the right field line.

[Bench]

Wait, I thought you cats were exaggerating when you said Craig had ZERO walks.

No. 

He has ZERO walks. 

I hate Griffey.

At least his batting average isn't higher than his on base percentage. That can happen, you know.

[Alkie]

Awesome fact.  Chris Sampson's is the first professional autograph my 5 year old son ever got.  2005 at a Hooks game right before getting Jason Hirsh's.

That's pretty cool.

He could sponsor Chris' baseball-reference.com page, but it looks like it's already taken.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/s/sampsch01.shtml

[Bench]

At least his batting average isn't higher than his on base percentage. That can happen, you know.

Actually, with his HBP last night, for the first time on the season his OBP exceeds his BA.

[Alkie]

At least his batting average isn't higher than his on base percentage. That can happen, you know.

His OBP is less than .275.  Is your comment supposed to make me feel "better"?

[Bench]

1-1 pitch: Slides away, ball 2.

2-1: Fouled back, Dave got nervous but it landed beneath the booth. "It was in the neighborhood," Brett assures us.*

2-2: Swing and miss.

*Not really sure which one is which, even when they address each other by name.

Harang pops up the first pitch.

2 outs.

[homer]

That's pretty cool.

He could sponsor Chris' baseball-reference.com page, but it looks like it's already taken.

http://www.baseball-reference.com/s/sampsch01.shtml

Any other unhealthy man crushes you want to talk about?

[Alkie]

1.26

[Bench]

Freel up.

0-2 quickly: outside.

1-2 to the Great Hustler. Dave and Ray contemplate a running race.

Ground out, 6-3. Sampson's ERA lowers.

[Bench]

His OBP is less than .275.  Is your comment supposed to make me feel "better"?

Unless that comment was a disguised form of oxycontin, I can't imagine how it could make *you* feel better.

[Jacksonian]

Any other unhealthy man crushes you want to talk about?

Whoa. See box, Pandora's

[remy]

That's KCWX out of Fredricksburg. The lucky fans in San Antonio get that CW station while those of us in Austin get KNWA. Does anyone have a spare set of rabbit ears?

South central Austin here... I tried hooking up a powered antenna to all 3 of my TVs... the signal just isn't strong enough.  In one room, I could kind of make out some shapes -- I think I saw Biggio fly out to end last inning.  But there was no audio and the picture was just almost unrecognizable.

Who wants to move to Fredericksburg with me?  It's Lance's favorite town in the world, after all!

[Alkie]

Any other unhealthy man crushes you want to talk about?

Ha!  I just won a bet for a beer.  I said "one beer says someone uses the phrase 'man crush.'"  So, thank you.

And really, it just drives me nuts.  All dude does is fucking produce and he's constantly fighting for respect.  Ain't just this year either.

Last year, he shutout the Cubs and gets rewarded with...a demotion

[Bench]

Lamb fouls the first pitch into the seats.

Second pitch: Grounds sharply to left, base knock.

[Alkie]

Any other unhealthy man crushes you want to talk about?

No, but I've taken some shit the last two days for announcing that after an hour of looking at pictures of her, I don't find Giada de Laurentiis the least bit attractive. 

Yes.  She has a fantastic set of tits.   That just put her in a select group of only about 30,000,000 people.

[Bench]

Berkman takes the first pitch low, ball 1.

Second pitch: Swinging, fouling back.

1-1: (Sean Berry says Lance is unhappy with performance so far).

They just fucked up the count, and said the fastball high makes it 2-1. I am confused, but we'll go with it.

Brett never found a happy medium with his golf swing.

Berkman waves and misses belt high, now a full? count. These dudes have been hanging out with Milo too much.

Lamb running, fouled back to the screen.

Lamb off again, Lance hammers it "way foul."

Lamb running again, smoked to the second basemen, 4-3. Lamb takes second. Senor RBI up.

[Bench]

No, but I've taken some shit the last two days for announcing that after an hour of looking at pictures of her, I don't find Giada de Laurentiis the least bit attractive. 

Yes.  She has a fantastic set of tits.   That just put her in a select group of only about 30,000,000 people.

She's actually about 4'11''. I don't know if that makes her more or less attractive for you, but there it is.

She's hot in person. My brother's best friend produces her show. She can actually cook well, too, which is rare for the current crop of Food Network "celebs."

[Bench]

Caballo, works a walk on a 3-1 count.

Luke glares angrily at Griffey as he digs in.*

*May not have actually occurred.

[Alkie]

She's actually about 4'11''. I don't know if that makes her more or less attractive for you, but there it is.

She's hot in person. My brother's best friend produces her show. She can actually cook well, too, which is rare for the current crop of Food Network "celebs."

Short chicks are hot.  Short chicks with oddly huge foreheads, uneven eyes, a low nose, and a billion teeth, however...are not.

Don't get me wrong.  I'd sleep with her.  But I don't find her attractive.

[EasTexAstro]

You know, since I am "studying", my wife, while watching the kids, makes a shrimp fetticcini Alfredo with garlic bread and brings it to me at the computer...

Glad I had my notes called up when she walked in.

[homer]

No, but I've taken some shit the last two days for announcing that after an hour of looking at pictures of her, I don't find Giada de Laurentiis the least bit attractive. 

Yes.  She has a fantastic set of tits.   That just put her in a select group of only about 30,000,000 people.

You are a clown. That woman is gorgeous, without question.

[Bench]

Lamb on second, Carlos on first. Two out.

Luke, spins out of the way of the first pitch.

Second pitch: Down in the dirt, knocked down nicely by Ross.

2-0: Swing and a miss on a fastball.

2-1: Outfield positioned around to the right and deep, ball misses.

3-1: Luke swung late, indecisively, fouled it back to the screen.

Full count: Pitch is high, ball 4. Bases loaded.

[Alkie]

You are a clown. That woman is gorgeous, without question.

No dude.

If you saw her in a fucking bar and didn't know that she was famous, you'd think "hey, she's cute and has a nice rack" and then you'd keep on moving.

You've been brainwashed.

[Bench]

Lane's up with the bases juiced.

First pitch swings and misses.

Jason fouls next pitch to the upper deck.

0-2: Stays alive.

Swings and misses at a pitch in dirt.

[Alkie]

Fantastic AB, Jane.

4 pitches, 4 swings, no solid contact.  Way to piss away a chance.

[Bench]

No dude.

If you saw her in a fucking bar and didn't know that she was famous, you'd think "hey, she's cute and has a nice rack" and then you'd keep on moving.

You've been brainwashed.

But she can cook really well!

[Alkie]

S-U-C-K.

That...was a fucking waste.

[homer]

No dude.

If you saw her in a fucking bar and didn't know that she was famous, you'd think "hey, she's cute and has a nice rack" and then you'd keep on moving.

You've been brainwashed.

Nope, you spent too much time trying to figure out reasons why she is NOT good looking. If you have to search for a reason, then you should stick with your gut reaction that she is fucking hot.

[Bench]

Loaded up, back to back strikeouts. Smells like last year.

I got to stop the PBP. Is anyone actually relying on it? My phone keeps ringing, I got to cook a steak sometime soon, I am lazy and this is interfering with my drinking, etc...

[Alkie]

Nope, you spent too much time trying to figure out reasons why she is NOT good looking. If you have to search for a reason, then you should stick with your gut reaction that she is fucking hot.

Look, my friend, we'll just have to agree that you are horny and willing to find anyone put on television hot.

Imagine her without her makeup on.  Her tons and tons of makeup.  It ain't pretty. 

[EasTexAstro]

Loaded up, back to back strikeouts. Smells like last year.

I got to stop the PBP. Is anyone actually relying on it? My phone keeps ringing, I got to cook a steak sometime soon, I am lazy and this is interfering with my drinking, etc...

Thanks Bench.

Alkie will take over.

[Amy]

South central Austin here... I tried hooking up a powered antenna to all 3 of my TVs... the signal just isn't strong enough.  In one room, I could kind of make out some shapes -- I think I saw Biggio fly out to end last inning.  But there was no audio and the picture was just almost unrecognizable.

Who wants to move to Fredericksburg with me?  It's Lance's favorite town in the world, after all!

Hey, if you do move to Fredericksburg, check out my cousin's bar "Primeaux's".  I haven't been there yet, but my family tells me it's a really nice place.

[Alkie]

Thanks Bench.

Alkie will take over.

Fucker.

Hamilton HR on a 3-2 pitch.

My wife says "looks like he smoked THAT too."

[Alkie]

1.47 and rising.

Reds now up 2-0, B4.

[EasTexAstro]

Fucker.

Hamilton HR on a 3-2 pitch.

My wife says "looks like he smoked THAT too."

Hey, with your boy pitching, I figured you could put a positive spin on this.

[Amy]

Ay carumba 

And why the hell isn't Griffey on the DL yet instead of robbing my guys?

[Alkie]

QB Dunn goes full before hitting a fucking moonshot to CF (for an out; sorry).

ERA now 1.45

B4, 1 out, CIN 2  HOU 0

[Bench]

Hey, if you do move to Fredericksburg, check out my cousin's bar "Primeaux's".  I haven't been there yet, but my family tells me it's a really nice place.

Where is it? My parents live in F-Burg, but I haven't heard of that place.

[Alkie]

Junior clobbers one that looked gone; wasn't. 

ERA now 1.44

B4, 2 out, CIN 2  HOU 0

[Amy]

Where is it? My parents live in F-Burg, but I haven't heard of that place.

All I know is it's on Main St.

[Alkie]

Phillips pops out to 2B.  Everyone got good wood on the ball that inning.

ERA now 1.43

END OF 4 - CIN 2   HOU 0

[remy]

Primeaux's Cocktails and Lounge      215 W. Main St.      Fredericksburg      830/997-3484

[Alkie]

Ausmus made an out of some kind.  I was talking to my wife.  My guess is that he hit a triple and was out stretching it at home.

Sampson K's.

2 down.

T5 - CIN  2   HOU 0

[Alkie]

Bigde fouls one back to JD, who catches it and eats it.

Biggio strikes out on....a breaking ball in the dirt.

MIDDLE OF 5, CIN 2  HOU 0

[EasTexAstro]

Biggio only needs 30 somethign Ks to move into 19th place all time, ahead of Dave Winfield.

Don't take away his opportunity.

[Amy]

Primeaux's Cocktails and Lounge      215 W. Main St.      Fredericksburg      830/997-3484

Thanks, I found this too:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=91403625

[Alkie]

Hatteberg hits a shot to 2b.  4-3
Someone else pops out.

ERA now 1.41

B5,  CIN 2  HOU 0     2 down

(Someone else take over, I have to watch cartoons with my daughter for 10 minutes before she goes to bed)

[Amy]

Crap, Ross walks.

Well, with two down and the pitcher up Sampson ought to be able to get out of this just fine.

[EasTexAstro]

Hatteberg hits a shot to 2b.  4-3
Someone else pops out.

ERA now 1.41

B5,  CIN 2  HOU 0     2 down

(Someone else take over, I have to watch cartoons with my daughter for 10 minutes before she goes to bed)

Amy gets her shot....finally.

[Amy]

Amy gets her shot....finally.

I'll give it a shot.

[Amy]

Harang hits a chopper to Sampson, Sampson throws to first, out #3.

[EasTexAstro]

I'll give it a shot.

Be the forum...

(Amy is a girl's name, isn't it?)

[Amy]

Be the forum...

(Amy is a girl's name, isn't it?)

I think so.  Do you know any guys named Amy?

[EasTexAstro]

I think so.  Do you know any guys named Amy?

Still looking for my first....

[Bench]

Hey, if you do move to Fredericksburg, check out my cousin's bar "Primeaux's".  I haven't been there yet, but my family tells me it's a really nice place.

Okay, I know where that is. It used to be a really good restaurant, but the owners got tired of running it and sold it. It's a great location.

[Amy]

Lamb hits a standup double down the LF line, just inside the bag and into the corner.

[Amy]

Twinkie hits ball four to 2B for an out, moves Lamb over to third.

[homer]

What the fuck is Lance swinging at? Ball 3 that he checked on was some complete trash.

[Amy]

What the fuck is Lance swinging at? Ball 3 that he checked on was some complete trash.

Yep.  He checked on ball 2 that was high and outside too.  Upon further review though, the pitch he made the out on was borderline, could have been a strike at the knees.

[Amy]

Ball got away from Ross but he made a good play to keep Lamb at third.

[EasTexAstro]

Sounds like he is startig to press.

[Amy]

Lee hits a bouncer off the mound to 2B to drive the run in, out #2.

[Amy]

Way to work the count Luuuuuke.  Laid off a tough pitch just off the outside corner.  Full count.

[Amy]

Damn, struck out swinging at a fastball down the middle.  Out #3.

[Alkie]

So......will we be scoring more than a run this evening?

[Amy]

So......will we be scoring more than a run this evening?

Harang is up around 100 pitches.  Doesn't the Reds' pen still suck?

[Alkie]

I don't even know who's in it this year yet.

[Amy]

I don't even know who's in it this year yet.

Well Guardado is injured, so they're going with closer by committee.  They've still got Coffey, Weathers and Stanton out there.  Not sure who else.

[Bench]

Wayne Krivsky himself!

[Bench]

Well Guardado is injured, so they're going with closer by committee.  They've still got Coffey, Weathers and Stanton out there.  Not sure who else.

Majewski?

[Amy]

Freel hits a sinking liner to LF.  Lee slid and nearly caught it, but rolled over it.

Hamilton bunts and it took a very good play by Ausmus to get him at first.  Freel to second.

[Greg M]

Nice job Brad.

[Amy]

Majewski?

Majewski is still having shoulder problems and is in AAA.

[Amy]

Trainers out to check on Sampson.  He seems to be OK.

[Amy]

Broken bat liner to third for Dunn.  Out #2.

[homer]

Well Guardado is injured, so they're going with closer by committee.  They've still got Coffey, Weathers and Stanton out there.  Not sure who else.

Saarloos

[pravata]

Freel hits a sinking liner to LF.  Lee slid and nearly caught it, but rolled over it.

Hamilton bunts and it took a very good play by Ausmus to get him at first.  Freel to second.

I think Hamilton got jammed on the hands, that wasnt a bunt.  Brad popped out real quick not wanting this guy to get another swing

[Amy]

FSN Cincy guys are obsessed with the dirt on Freel's uni. 

Ausmus throws to second trying to catch Freel napping.  Freel dives and the throw hits him and bounces away, but he stays at second.

Intentional pass to Griffey now.

[Jacksonian]

Trainers out to check on Sampson.  He seems to be OK.

Good thing.  Otherwise we might have lost Alkie right then.

[Amy]

Phillips pops up to Scott in RF, inning over.

[pravata]

Lidge is up, thats probably it for Sampson and his barking calf.

[Alkie]

I imagine that's it for Sampson.

So, his NL ERA stands at 1.37.

"Ok."

[Bench]

OK. I've been out of it for a while, and I still haven't cooked that steak.

But how did the Astros score their one run?

[Amy]

I think Hamilton got jammed on the hands, that wasnt a bunt.  Brad popped out real quick not wanting this guy to get another swing

Sorry, I just went back and checked.  Hamilton actually hit it off the end of the bat.  It acted just like a bunt to the third base side though.  Of course Hamilton wouldn't be bunting.  D'oh!

[pravata]

OK. I've been out of it for a while, and I still haven't cooked that steak.

But how did the Astros score their one run?

Lamb doubled, moved over to 3rd on Berkman's grounder to 2B, Kabong grounded a 3-2 count up the middle.  RBI macheeen.

[Bench]

OK. I've been out of it for a while, and I still haven't cooked that steak.

But how did the Astros score their one run?

Lee on a groundout. Gotcha.

[Bench]

Lamb doubled, moved over to 3rd on Berkman's grounder to 2B, Kabong grounded a 3-2 count up the middle.  RBI macheeen.

Thanks. I got hung up on phone calls and watching the VaTech shooter's video.

[Amy]

Victor Santos in for Harang.

Lane hits a sharp grounder to SS, but Gonzalez throws him out.

[pravata]

Thanks. I got hung up on phone calls and watching the VaTech shooter's video.

Leave that alone.  No one is going to get anything out of wallowing in all that.

[Amy]

AE pops up to second, out #2.

[pravata]

riding fastballs are killing the GGs

[Amy]

Ausmus struck out looking at a pitch at the knees that looked outside to me.  Brad had a couple of words with the ump.

[remy]

Is this game as dull to watch as it has been to listen to?

[Bench]

Leave that alone.  No one is going to get anything out of wallowing in all that.

I keep getting phone calls from amateur psychologists about this guy. I don't know how to say "some people are fucked up and some aren't" any clearer than that.

It's amazing all the crap that people are reaching at. "His plays were disturbing!" Well, most freshmen's creative writing is crap, and shock value is an easy grab. Believe me, I used to write and read that crap all the time. Doesn't mean anything.

[Amy]

Is this game as dull to watch as it has been to listen to?

Yeah, pretty much.

[pravata]

Is this game as dull to watch as it has been to listen to?

Harang is a monster.  Sampson pitched VERY well.  Two good pitches left the Band Box.  Griffey made a good play on Scuba Scott's bid for a homer. Not dull at all.

[Amy]

Sampson still out there.

[pravata]

I keep getting phone calls from amateur psychologists about this guy. I don't know how to say "some people are fucked up and some aren't" any clearer than that.

It's amazing all the crap that people are reaching at. "His plays were disturbing!" Well, most freshmen's creative writing is crap, and shock value is an easy grab. Believe me, I used to write and read that crap all the time. Doesn't mean anything.

My feeling is that people want to know exactly why the guy did it so they can assure themselves they're not like that.

[Amy]

Hatteberg dinks one to short left center.

[EasTexAstro]

Cool. Maybe I am the late one to the party, but if you have gameday up and running, they already have links for seeing the plays from earlier in tonight's game: Phillips HR, and JR robbing Luke.

Cool.

[Amy]

Popup to Berkman in foul territory for out #1.

[homer]

My feeling is that people want to know exactly why the guy did it so they can assure themselves they're not like that.

Seriously, stop. The one place that I have come the last few days that hasn't been talking about that. Lets keep it that way.

[Amy]

Another popup to Lance near the dugout for out #2.

[Bench]

My feeling is that people want to know exactly why the guy did it so they can assure themselves they're not like that.

Agreed. It just doesn't work that way.

[Amy]

Encarnacion hitting for the pitcher.

[pravata]

Cool. Maybe I am the late one to the party, but if you have gameday up and running, they already have links for seeing the plays from earlier in tonight's game: Phillips HR, and JR robbing Luke.

Cool.

That's new.

[JimR]

Is this game as dull to watch as it has been to listen to?

how can a 2-1 game be dull?

[Amy]

Whew!  Lane caught a pretty good shot near the track in right center.  Out #3.

[Alkie]

Ok, it stands at 1.34.

[homer]

Lane doesn't look too bad in center. Nice catch to end the inning.

[pravata]

Good running catch by Lane, ran to the spot.  Sampson, 7 innings 2 runs.  COME ON!

[Alkie]

how can a 2-1 game be dull?

Seriously.  Don't like pitching duels?  Go watch the Rangers.

[Bench]

Ok, it stands at 1.34.

Awesome. I was just about to ask.

[remy]

Seriously.  Don't like pitching duels?  Go watch the Rangers.

It's dull, to me at least, on the radio.  Watching it might be more entertaining.  But I live in Austin, where we get bent over the table and fucked in the ass on a nightly basis.

[Amy]

Coffey pitching for the Reds now.

[JimR]

It's dull, to me at least, on the radio.  Watching it might be more entertaining.  But I live in Austin, where we get bent over the table and fucked in the ass on a nightly basis.

boofuckinghoo.

[pravata]

It's dull, to me at least, on the radio.  Watching it might be more entertaining.  But I live in Austin, where we get bent over the table and fucked in the ass on a nightly basis.

Well that sounds like a lot of things, none of them dull.

[homer]

It's dull, to me at least, on the radio.  Watching it might be more entertaining.  But I live in Austin, where we get bent over the table and fucked in the ass on a nightly basis.

I read an article just the other day that said Austin was the new San Francisco.

[Amy]

Opie hitting for Sampson.

[Bench]

It's dull, to me at least, on the radio.  Watching it might be more entertaining.  But I live in Austin, where we get bent over the table and fucked in the ass on a nightly basis.

I thought the 9 page thread in the TZ resulted in Austinites watching. Here in the Golden Traingle, we don't even attempt to make a fuss.

[Amy]

Damn, Coffey nailed Opie right in the shoulder.  He had no chance to get out of the way.

[EasTexAstro]

I feel odly good about this inning.

Maybe it is OP.

[Bench]

Damn, Coffey nailed Opie right in the shoulder.  He had no chance to get out of the way.

Damn? That's the tying run. I guarantee OP is happy to take that.

[Amy]

Bidge attempting to bunt.  Fouled it off. 0-2 now.

[pravata]

Damn? That's the tying run. I guarantee OP is happy to take that.

craig has to get him over

[Amy]

Damn? That's the tying run. I guarantee OP is happy to take that.

I didn't mean it that way.  I was just surprised the way the ball came right at him.  It looked like it hurt too.

[JGrave]

Why isn't he squaring up?  He's bunting for a basehit.

[remy]

boofuckinghoo.

sorry, boss... I'll try to be stronger.



So which one IS dave and which one is brett?

[Bench]

craig has to get him over

He's trying his damndest, bunting foul. Fahk.

[Amy]

FSN Cincy guys are now praising Freel for picking up a piece of paper on the infield. 

[Bench]

I didn't mean it that way.  I was just surprised the way the ball came right at him.  It looked like it hurt too.

Gotcha.

[homer]

gee fuckin whiz. got to get that bunt down.

[Amy]

Bidge bunted one that looked pretty good up the 1B line, but they let it go and it ended up rolling foul for a strikeout.

[pravata]

Why isn't he squaring up?  He's bunting for a basehit.

naw where he was placing it, coming around early and bunting with 2 strikes, he was trying to advance the runner

[Bench]

FSN Cincy guys are now praising Freel for picking up a piece of paper on the infield. 

Now that's what you call hustle. Seven mil worth of hustle.

[Amy]

Lamb bounced one to third for out #2.  Opie to second.

[Bench]

OK Lance, it's frickin' time now. Bust out. These are the Reds! You own them!

[JGrave]

naw where he was placing it, coming around early and bunting with 2 strikes, he was trying to advance the runner

I thought his first two attempts were weak.  He didn't even attempt on the first strike.  

Thank goodness for Berkman.

[Amy]

Thank you!!  Twinkie hits on into LF for an RBI single!

[Bench]

OK Lance, it's frickin' time now. Bust out. These are the Reds! You own them!

That'll do, Lance. That'll do.

[Alkie]

Fezzik!  You did something right!

[pravata]

Lance! Going the other way! nice piece of hitting.

[Lurch]

Woohoo!  I can't see it, but it sounded great!

[Greg M]

Attaboy Lance.  New game.

[remy]

I love Lance Berkman.

[MRaup]

Fezzik!  You did something right!

You're just not happy unless everyone is throwing out movie quotes, are you?

[pravata]

Fezzik!  You did something right!

"How about a peanut!"

[Amy]

Come on Carlos, let's try to get Sampson the win!

[pravata]

You're just not happy unless everyone is throwing out movie quotes, are you?

"Sorry Inigo"

[Amy]

Walk for Lee.  They're pulling Coffey.

[Bench]

Plenty of weight on the basepaths.

[Bench]

"How about a peanut!"

Stop it I mean it!

[rifraft]

gameday now has in-game highlights.  
gameday has really taken a step forward this year.  showing the previous at bat pitch sequences is pretty cool.

[Alkie]

You're just not happy unless everyone is throwing out movie quotes, are you?

That's funny.

Go back and check the record, holmes.  I was the only person who didn't use a SINGLE movie quote last night.

[Amy]

Cormier pitching to Loretta, Scott out of the game.

[Bench]

CLUTCH!

[Alkie]

GO LO!

GO LO!

GO LO!

[Amy]

Loretta hits one into short RF, scoring Lance!

[matadorph]

FUCKIN YEAH

[Lurch]

Come on Carlos, let's try to get Sampson the win!

EXCELLENT Call!

[pravata]

Good heavens. Are you still trying to win?

[Greg M]

Hell yeah!  Love Loretta.

[JaneDoe]

That's funny.

Go back and check the record, holmes.  I was the only person who didn't use a SINGLE movie quote last night.

I don't remember making a movie quote last night.

[Bench]

CLUTCH!

Nice job by that Lane guy,too.

[Amy]

Lane hits one out to left for a three run bomb!!

[Lurch]

Here's to a boring game..

[Alkie]

Hey radio guys, is this game still dull?

[MRaup]

Damn these low scoring games... Seriously. Someone get me a pillow.

[JaneDoe]

Jason F'ing Lane!!!!!

[homer]

Jason Lane is worthless.

[Bench]

Hey radio guys, is this game still dull?

Yeah. It's not a one run game. Anything other than a one run game is boring. You know that.

[remy]

Hey radio guys, is this game still dull?

Nope!  Nothing like a brett/dave home run call to perk things up!

Hey, I just noticed on my profile that 1 member is ignoring me.  That makes me kinda sad!

[Amy]

AE grounds to third for the last out.

[matadorph]

My KVET reception returned at just the right time.

[Bench]

Okay, Alkie. What's Sampson's career ERA now that he's done on the night?

[Alkie]

Ok, ok.  I'm going for broke here.

Wanna see me piss off an entire board and the BBGs?







WE'RE IN FIRST PLACE!  WE'RE IN FIRST PLACE!

[pravata]

Hell yeah!  Love Loretta.

OP and Loretta on the bench is very comforting.

[remy]

Ok, ok.  I'm going for broke here.

Wanna see me piss off an entire board and the BBGs?







WE'RE IN FIRST PLACE!  WE'RE IN FIRST PLACE!

Yeah, you need to take that back really fast.

[Alkie]

Okay, Alkie. What's Sampson's career ERA now that he's done on the night?

If this game holds, his career record against the National League

4-1, 1.34

[pravata]

Ok, ok.  I'm going for broke here.

Wanna see me piss off an entire board and the BBGs?







WE'RE IN FIRST PLACE!  WE'RE IN FIRST PLACE!

The eel doesn't get her. I'm explaining to to because you look nervous.

[Amy]

Wheeler pitching.  I missed what they did with the defense.  Can someone help me out?

[matadorph]

OP and Loretta on the bench is very comforting.

Yeah but Eric Bruntlett is just the player we need to make this team peak.

[Alkie]

The eel doesn't get her. I'm explaining to to because you look nervous.

YOU'RE TELLING THE STORY WRONG!

[Amy]

Shit!  That's a walk, with Hamilton up to bat.

[pravata]

YOU'RE TELLING THE STORY WRONG!

You're very tired, perhaps I should come back tomorrow.

[Bench]

If this game holds, his career record against the National League

4-1, 1.34

Wuve, twue wuve....

[matadorph]

Shit!  That's a walk, with Hamilton up to bat.

swiiiiiiiing andamiss strike three.

[Amy]

Oh good, now the Cincy guys are talking about how Pooholes broke Lidge.

Hamilton strikes out swinging at a pitch at his shoulders.  Dunn up.

[Alkie]

You're very tired, perhaps I should come back tomorrow.

asssssssssssssssss youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiish.

[pravata]

"This game brought to you by the high fasball" JD "Pitch of the day" Brownie.  Hamilton k'd on the same pitch he dinked in his previous, up and in.  Look for it Josh, youll be seeing it alot.

[Amy]

Dunn strikes out swinging.  Fastball has good movement.

[pravata]

high fastball again to Dunn got him to swing.

[pravata]

I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using?

[Amy]

Griffey grounds out to Lance, who takes it to the bag.  Out #3.

[matadorph]

Good job Wheeler.

[Alkie]

I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using?

Inconceivable.

[JaneDoe]

Ok, ok.  I'm going for broke here.

Wanna see me piss off an entire board and the BBGs?







WE'RE IN FIRST PLACE!  WE'RE IN FIRST PLACE!

ok.  I'm pissed off.

[EasTexAstro]

Inconceivable.

You keep using that word...

[pravata]

Inconceivable.

It's just that they've been mostly-dead all day

[Bench]

Inconceivable.

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

[Alkie]

ok.  I'm pissed off.

THAT'S the spirit!

[Amy]

Ausmus hits one into the LF corner for a standup double!

[pravata]

I like the Reds relievers.  Hope they get to the pen early tomorrow.

[Bench]

Ausmus hits one into the LF corner for a standup double!

Typical. He's an offensive machine. Scoring on bunt from second, Willy Mays Hays style.

[Amy]

Opie bunts to Freel at third, who throws it away.  Ausmus scores.  Opie stays at first.

[matadorph]

The Reds are falling apart.

[Alkie]

Well, well, well.  

I jinx us and we increase the lead.

WE CAN'T LOSE NOW!

FIRST PLACE IS OURS!

ETA:  Oh, unless Milwaukee holds on and wins.  In which case we're in SECOND!

[Lurch]

Typical. He's an offensive machine. Scoring on bunt from second, Willy Mays Hays style.

You've gotta wait ’till the seed grows into a plant. Then you fuck the plant.

[Amy]

Bidge bounces to short, beats out the double play.

[pravata]

Well, well, well.  

I jinx us and we increase the lead.

WE CAN'T LOSE NOW!

FIRST PLACE IS OURS!

ETA:  Oh, unless Milwaukee holds on and wins.  In which case we're in SECOND!

Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

[remy]

You've gotta wait ’till the seed grows into a plant. Then you fuck the plant.

Hah, I just watched that movie again this past weekend.

D'you know why you're gay?

Because you have a Brad Ausmus bobblehead by your bed.

[Amy]

Lamb hits a fairly sharp grounder to second, double play.

[JaneDoe]

Well, well, well.  

I jinx us and we increase the lead.

WE CAN'T LOSE NOW!

FIRST PLACE IS OURS!

ETA:  Oh, unless Milwaukee holds on and wins.  In which case we're in SECOND!

Now I am REALLY PISSED.

[EasTexAstro]

Well, well, well.  

I jinx us and we increase the lead.

WE CAN'T LOSE NOW!

FIRST PLACE IS OURS!

ETA:  Oh, unless Milwaukee holds on and wins.  In which case we're in SECOND!

You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

[Amy]

Wheeler still out there.

[austro]

Ausmus hits one into the LF corner for a standup double!

Damn, that was the one for "Inconceivable!"

[pravata]

Wheeler still out there.

Scary huh?  Who's the closer tomorrow?

[Amy]

Scary huh?  Who's the closer tomorrow?

That's what the Cincy guys are wondering.  They speculate there is a shift back to Lidge in the works.

[Alkie]

That's what the Cincy guys are wondering.  They speculate there is a shift back to Lidge in the works.

Then here's the magic question:

Is it George and Chris or Thom and Jeff?

[austro]

Trivia question from the Cincy announcers on XM:  Who are the six Hall-of-Famers to play for the Astros?

I'm ashamed to admit that I can only think of two definites: Ryan and Morgan.

[Amy]

Popup to Lance for out #1.

[Amy]

Then here's the magic question:

Is it George and Chris or Thom and Jeff?

George and Chris.

[Amy]

Trivia question from the Cincy announcers on XM:  Who are the six Hall-of-Famers to play for the Astros?

I'm ashamed to admit that I can only think of two definites: Ryan and Morgan.

Sutton

[matadorph]

Garner's probably counting on not needing a closer tomorrow since Woody's pitching batting practice to Dunn and Hamilton.

[Amy]

Bidge made a nice play on the short hop for out #2.

[austro]

Sutton

Ahh, right. I forgot about his stint.

[Lurch]

Nellie Fox 1964-1965
Eddie Mathews 1967
Joe Morgan 1963-1971, 1980
Robin Roberts 1965-1966
Nolan Ryan 1980-1988
Don Sutton 1981-1982

[JimR]

Eddie Mathews

[pravata]

maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.

[Alkie]

George and Chris.

Then they're probably right.

[Amy]

And that's a strikeout for the win.  Go 'Stros!!

[austro]

Well, having the Rangers game on FSNSW isn't a total bust tonight: something interesting is going on there.

[Bench]

Then they're probably right.

Amen

[matadorph]

With all this winning of late, I've almost forgotten the Pirates series.

[JimR]

Garner's probably counting on not needing a closer tomorrow since Woody's pitching batting practice to Dunn and Hamilton.

Woody just needs to keep the ball down.

Wheels went 2?

[Amy]

With all this winning of late, I've almost forgotten the Pirates series.

Not me.  I was there for all three games.  Then I went to the Saturday game in Philly that we lost.  I think I'm a jinx.  Been to four games and they've lost them all.

[Alkie]

Those that believe in the BBGs, can feel free to send me a beer.

Even if just for a few minutes, we are currently in 1st Place.

[homer]

maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.

I do not envy you the headache you will have when you awake. But for now, rest well and dream of large women.

[matadorph]

Well, having the Rangers game on FSNSW isn't a total bust tonight: something interesting is going on there.

Won't hold up.

[pravata]

Woody just needs to keep the ball down.

Wheels went 2?

Sampson and Wheeler took this one.  Qualls and White are ready for tomorrow.

[Alkie]

Won't hold up.

What...THE NO HITTER???

[homer]

Won't hold up.

Especially since the announcers are talking about it.

[remy]

Won't hold up.

True, but it is interesting while it lasts.  Anything to make an AL game watchable.

[Alkie]

CENTRAL W L PCT GB HOME ROAD RS RA STRK L10 
Houston 7 6 .538 - 3-5 4-1 56 52 Won 3 7-3 
Milwaukee 7 6 .538 - 3-3 4-3 61 66 Lost 1 5-5 
Cincinnati 8 7 .533 - 5-4 3-3 62 63 Lost 1 4-6 
Pittsburgh 6 6 .500 .5 0-4 6-2 42 44 Won 2 4-6 
St. Louis 6 7 .462 1 1-6 5-1 41 46 Lost 2 6-4 
Chicago Cubs 5 8 .385 2 2-5 3-3 58 50 Lost 1 4-6 

[matadorph]

Does it count if it's against the Rangers?

[JaneDoe]

CENTRAL W L PCT GB HOME ROAD RS RA STRK L10 
Houston 7 6 .538 - 3-5 4-1 56 52 Won 3 7-3 
Milwaukee 7 6 .538 - 3-3 4-3 61 66 Lost 1 5-5 
Cincinnati 8 7 .533 - 5-4 3-3 62 63 Lost 1 4-6 
Pittsburgh 6 6 .500 .5 0-4 6-2 42 44 Won 2 4-6 
St. Louis 6 7 .462 1 1-6 5-1 41 46 Lost 2 6-4 
Chicago Cubs 5 8 .385 2 2-5 3-3 58 50 Lost 1 4-6 

Shut up!

(ok, even I got my movie quote in)

[JimR]

Especially since the announcers are talking about it.

Gene Elston always did. i was old school about it.

[pravata]

Shut up!

(ok, even I got my movie quote in)

Have fun storming the castle!

[Bench]

Gene Elston always did. i was old school about it.

Agreed. There's two schools. The old school and the wrong school. It annoys me when announcers take the "I've got to report the facts" approach, however I love it when one is of the old school but still makes tortured references to what is actually happening, just as long as they don't say it.

[Alkie]

THRU 8.

[remy]

Does it count if it's against the Rangers?

They'll definitely have to use the good old *.

[Alkie]

They'll definitely have to use the good old *.

No.  You dive into first?  You're out.  Period.

[matadorph]

Big Tex looks too much like Carlos Beltran.

[JimR]

THRU 8.

who is throwing it?

[Alkie]

Mark Buerle

[matadorph]

I think he's gonna do it.

[Alkie]

Who bats for the Midcity Dallasites in the 9th?

[Amy]

Who bats for the Midcity Dallasites in the 9th?

Bottom third of the order

[Bench]

I think he's gonna do it.

Do what? Throw a decent game? He's doing it.

[Alkie]

Bottom third of the order

I was thinking more.....names.

[Alkie]

I looked it up.

Kata, Cruz, Laird.

[Amy]

I was thinking more.....names.

Kata, Cruz, Laird, unless they pinch hit for them

[mihoba]

He walked Sammy the Clown or he would be perfect.

[matadorph]

two outs to go!

[Alkie]

Kata Ks

[austro]

He walked Sammy the Clown or he would be perfect.

And then picked him off, so he's still seeing the minimum.

[Alkie]

ONE.

OUT.

TO GO.

[mihoba]

another K, 1 to go

[mihoba]

He did it, wow!

[Alkie]

WOW.

NO HITTER.

[austro]

Crede has an arm.

[matadorph]

Yeah that was a good throw to end it.

[Amy]

Crede has an arm.

I still hate that SOB

[Amy]

He just got attacked by his teammates with what looked like beer, during the postgame interview.

[Bench]

I still hate that SOB

Fucker turned into Mike Schmidt during that World Series.