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General Discussion => Talk Zone => Topic started by: strosrays on July 27, 2012, 12:12:02 pm
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(this is partially inspired by Mr. Happy using an emoticon in a GZ post last night ... it's come to that ... the horror, the horror ... )
#1 - I believe they are approaching terminal velocity.
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#2 Plenty of good seats available.
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32 The 8% of their games they do win are pretty sweet.
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#3 Pam's gone.
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#4 They're really trying hard.
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At least they're in the NL! Huh.....what's that?
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The new corporate art hanging off the left field facade is very corporate!
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#5 Remember, those runs are unearned.
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#6. "What have you done today to be a champion?" doesn't mean shit any more.
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The new people art hanging off the left field facade is very people!
Using Romney logic (Corporations are people...)
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Using Romney logic (Corporations are people...)
If you've got wins, you didn't get those wins, someone else got those wins for you
-- obama
Sidenote, he may be referring to the Astros.
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7. Milo is retiring
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Don't blame me, I voted for the NL.
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Don't blame me, I voted for the NL.
#8 - If someone fucks up this thread with partisan politics, I know where you live, motherfucker.
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9 each game is a new adventure
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#8 - If someone fucks up this thread with partisan politics, I know where you live, motherfucker.
To be clear, I was not endorsing either candidate. I simply enjoyed the substitution of the word "people" for "corporate" in the given sentence. I was required to cite the origin of the word exchange to avoid copyright infringement.
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10. Such polite boys, and they keep their lawn cut so nice. They have a few people over most nights but they keep the noise down. Hardly a peep out of them, such nice neighbors.
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11. Chris Burke bobblehead giveaways!
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12. On today's Worst of the Worst on EPSN, a play from the Astros ranked #10. The Red Sox and Co-Ards had goof-ups ranked higher up.
Instead, our boys were at #10. Right behind a boo-boo from the ostrich races at #9.
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#15 Sandusky never showered with our boys.
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16. Only 4 other division rivals from now on!
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17. If you go to bed after 6 innings, you can be pretty sure you won't miss anything good.
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#8 - If someone fucks up this thread with partisan politics, I know where you live, motherfucker.
I was trying to pull it away from politics.
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16. Only 4 other division rivals from now on!
Guaranteed to improve their spot in the standings!
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18. Subject to local blackout restrictions will only come into play for me about 16 times a year...
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#15 Sandusky never showered with our boys.
Although 34-66 feels about the same.
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#19 - you can still picture altuve walking around a cocktail party with a sombrero on that doubles as a chip and dip bowl whenever you feel sad.
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#20 - Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus are avid followers.
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#20 - Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus are avid followers.
#21 - I'm Blaise Pascal, and I endorse this message. And the Astros.
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#22 - The Little Pumas, Los Caballitos and Hunter's Lodge are all gone.
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#23 - Next year, less Cub shit.
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#22 - The Little Pumas, Los Caballitos and Hunter's Lodge are all gone.
Does Altuve have a fan club yet? And if so, are they called the Lollipop Guild?
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#24 BudGirl won't make sexual references about the new players.
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#25 Fat jokes about Carlos Lee replaced by short jokes about Jose Altuve.
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26. Less traffic = shorter games.
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#27 - FTR!! (Fuck Tha Rangers!)
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#28 - Thanks to the new ownership, a giant sun screen has been built in left field.
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#29 - The Altuve has been adopted as a standard measure of (short) distance; replacing the EdWade, which was less accurate (and less fun).
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#29 The arithmetic needed to complete the Astros' side of the scorecard is way easier than for other clubs.
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#30 - The quip "Houston, we have a problem" has become so tediously obvious, it is now passe (I think/hope)
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#22 - The Little Pumas, Los Caballitos and Hunter's Lodge are all gone.
The Wizards of Os. Or did you block those guys from your memory?
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#31 Majority of roster under club control until 2016-2018 timeframe
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#32 Club will improve through free agency losses
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#33 - The FOX broadcasts are relatively free of the 'Sarah McLachlan for Abused Pets' commercials.
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The Wizards of Os. Or did you block those guys from your memory?
Blum's Blondes.
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Blum's Blondes.
Yeah. Them. All that winning excited the casual fan into making inappropriate gestures. Thankfully there will no such giddiness any time soon.
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34. There's plenty of beer.
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34. There's plenty of $12 beer.
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#86 Nobody got stabbed in the belly or had their "girlfriend kill herself" in front of them.
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We had Footer.
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We had Footer.
I don't think you're doing this right.
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36. We have Levine.
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36. We have Levine.
Good call.
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37. and Jim Deshaies.
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38. We donn nee no stinkin magic number!
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38.1 When you go an Astros game no one shoots you!
39. If you arrive late there are still plenty of promotional bobbleheads available. Even if you have no idea who they are you take a few. The kids just love a reactive target.
40. It's fun to watch the Astros marketing department's descent into madness as they try desperate gimmick after desperate gimmick to attract interest (random fan in audience gets to pinch hit, close the game, replace Milo--shit they're all ready doing this--Dollar beer is near).
41. When you take the family to a game they still get to watch one major league team play.
42. Astros fans might get the chance to be in a movie! Charlie Sheen's people and Crane are discussing remaking Major League and Red Dawn at the same time! A determined group of children will use guerrilla tactics to beat an overpowering invading team of professionals. The wacky loveable kids have both endearing personal quirks, and hand grenades. This plucky team of kids is lead by a verteran fighter pilot and pitcher who comes out of retirement after being shot down for flying too, too high, Wild Thing!
43. As you shave you can still tell the degenerate Astros fan in the mirror,"at least I am not a Cubs fan."
44. The Astros' payroll so low that there's money available to sign those high draft picks.
45. Since we are not Japanese our children won't be traumatized by Mills' ritual seppuku as he takes responsibility and atones for his managerial record.
46. If you go to a game and see the Astros win, you'll really have a story to tell.
47. At least Fuckhouse made it out and doesn't have to cover this horseshit of a team. I can be happy for her, right?
48. The Astros lock on the number one draft pick gets tighter with every game!
49. Some nights you can hear cheering, happy hometown fans--watching Soccer!
50. The asshole wearing the visiting team's gear knows not to fuck with you; if you are crazy enough to support this team god knows what you might be capable of?
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51 The chances are really good you don't have to worry about someone standing up in front of you to go to the bathroom to block your view of the game. Oh wait, that may not be positive.
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52. The wave is logistically impossible.
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53. The conversation of the people behind you can't be worse than the play on the field.
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#54 - You can tell your friends to look for you, You'll be in most of the crowd shots on the telecast.
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53. The conversation of the people behind you can't be worse than the play on the field.
This seems optimistic
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#55 At least when you are watching the game you are not in an operating room having rectal surgery.
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#55 At least when you are watching the game you are not in an operating room having rectal surgery.
Or, better than a colonoscopy!
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Or, better than a colonoscopy!
I don't know. For a colonoscopy you're sedated. At $10/beer, that's hard to do at an Astros game.
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I don't know. For a colonoscopy you're sedated. At $10/beer, that's hard to do at an Astros game.
56. Complimenary champagne and caviar during winning streaks!
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This seems optimistic
Wildly.
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The Wizards of Os. Or did you block those guys from your memory?
You obviously did. They were called the O's Bros.
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56. Complimenary champagne and caviar during winning streaks!
Than following the Astros is better than going to AA meetings.
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57. We get to see the Astros play in every mlb stadium in a 2 year stretch.
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58. There's air-conditioning.
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58. There's air-conditioning.
Amen to that.
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Levine's got a nice article up. (http://blog.chron.com/ultimateastros/2012/07/28/luhnow%E2%80%99s-long-term-plan-taking-shape/)
“You look at the progression of other clubs — the Royals, the Pirates, the Rays — and how long it took them,” Luhnow said. “We are doing everything we can to not be dormant for that long of a period of time.”
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58. Grilled Shrimp Tacos in the club level. Best ballpark food I have tasted in the 12 MLB stadiums I have been too.
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Than following the Astros is better than going to AA meetings.
But not better than following AA baseball...
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59. Short lines at the urinals.
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60. We're trying real hard!
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60. We're trying real hard!
And I think that's probably true.
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You obviously did. They were called the O's Bros.
My memory was of pointy wizard hats and long fake beards. My mistake is that those do not suggest "bros" where I come from but there are different customs in some places.
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My memory was of pointy wizard hats and long fake beards. My mistake is that those do not suggest "bros" where I come from but there are different customs in some places.
I wish I could wipe that from my mind.
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You obviously did. They were called the O's Bros.
I met an O's Bro once. He said that Selig totally fucked them during the World Series, and would not let them set up anywhere.
Selig's career-long defecation on the Astros is very detailed and comprehensive.
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I met an O's Bro once. He said that Selig totally fucked them during the World Series, and would not let them set up anywhere.
Selig's career-long defecation on the Astros is very detailed and comprehensive.
I sat right next to them during Game 3. They were set up in the terrace level by the right field foul pole. They had the sign draped over a railing and were certainly established in numbers and costumes.
But, fuck Selig anyway. Don't really need any more reasons.
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wonder what started it all?
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I sat right next to them during Game 3. They were set up in the terrace level by the right field foul pole. They had the sign draped over a railing and were certainly established in numbers and costumes.
But, fuck Selig anyway. Don't really need any more reasons.
What the hell would an O's Bro dress up as? I don't remember them at all.
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What the hell would an O's Bro dress up as? I don't remember them at all.
Wizard hats, long beards. Do try to keep up.
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Really only a couple of 'em dressed up. I was part of the original group on the Astros.com message board that started it, but I only made it to maybe 2-3 more over the years (including the 2004 NLCS Game 4 Oswalt start) due to travel issues, etc. I can't speak for what it turned into, but at the beginning it was a play on another pitcher from another team's cheering section, I think it was Randy Wolf. Basically it was an excuse for a bunch of friends from a message board to get together and watch the Astros.
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Basically it was an excuse for a bunch of friends from a message board to get together and watch the Astros.
What a bad idea.
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What a bad idea.
Especially these days.
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Never trust people you meet on the internet!
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Never trust people you meet on the internet!
I AM SPARTACUS!
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Never trust people you meet on the internet!
Amen to that.
61. The travelling horseshit show has brought The Ferret back.
62. There will soon be a reason to go back to Camden Yard
63. East coast gangs are too embarassed to wear Astros gear anymore, precluding any more uncomfortable misdirected confrontations.
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64. None more stickhorse
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64. None more stickhorse black.
FIFST
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65. You actually need to buy programs to know who plays on the team today.
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65. You actually need to buy programs to know who plays on the team today.
Or maybe free wi-fi, so if you have a smart phone you don't need to buy a program to find out who's on the team today?
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66. Open tryouts- next on the horizon?
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66. Open tryouts- next on the horizon?
As a matter of fact... (http://www.milb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20120620&content_id=33625190&vkey=news_t577&fext=.jsp&sid=t577)
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Or maybe free wi-fi, so if you have a smart phone you don't need to buy a program to find out who's on the team today?
67. With the lack of people in the stadium, the Wifi actually works.
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68 you get your own private food cart and chef
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FIFST
Go fifst yourself!
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69. They haven't killed anybody (on purpose).
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70. If you're reading this thread, no one can ever accuse you of jumping on the bandwagon.
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71. Fans like to see lots of runs scored, right?!?
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71. Fans like to see lots of runs scored, right?!?
But they generally like to see their team scoring the lots of runs...
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72. They'll be back in first place by Opening Day.
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But they generally like to see their team scoring the lots of runs...
Beggars, choosers.
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But they generally like to see their team scoring the lots of runs...
hey! welcome back!
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hey! welcome back!
Thanks Coach. Figured I'd climb back on before there was a bandwagon...
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Thanks Coach. Figured I'd climb back on before there was a bandwagon...
There's a bandwagon. But it fits in my Radio Flyer wagon.
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There's a bandwagon. But it fits in my Radio Flyer wagon.
There's a bandwagon. But no instruments.
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Thanks Coach. Figured I'd climb back on before there was a bandwagon...
There's a bandwagon, like on the Titanic.
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There's a bandwagon. But no instruments.
SOS. No instruments but a lot of tools...
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73. They're wearing flashback shirts this season, which is kinda cool.
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73. They're wearing flashback shirts this season, which is kinda cool.
Brings back all kinds of memories of 1989-1991.
74. Brett Wallace. The backyard on that fella is still sizable, even though he's down 30 lbs.
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75. The bullpen catcher is getting plenty of work.
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76. The Astros aren't going to hire Cam Bonifay in any capacity.
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77. Next year the Astros won't suffer the indignation of looking up at the Cubs and Pirates in the standings.
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78. Hey, no one cares about the 25th man on the team any more!
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79. If the bullpen remains in its current state, no need to worry about staying up late next year to catch the last few innings.
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80. The Astros are going to be PITA when it comes the August waiver process.
Okay, first up. Astros do you want to claim any of these 7 players.
Luhnow: Yes
Player A, B, C, D, E, F or G?
Luhnow: Yes
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81. The current state of things has evoked some really fantastic posts on the main page (yes, we have one) of this site.