Worst song ever made... (Non-BB)

[ASTROCREEP]

The guys in my office are bored, so we started talking about the WORST song of all time.

And here it is:

Semi-Charmed Life  - Third Eye Blind

Runner up:

November Rain - GNR

[S.P. Rodriguez]

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The guys in my office are bored, so we started talking about the WORST song of all time.

And here it is:

Semi-Charmed Life  - Third Eye Blind

Runner up:

November Rain - GNR

You can add any song ever written/performed by Marooned 5...

[JGrave]

Bad Day by Daniel Powter.  I win.  Lock thread.

[Golden Sombrero]

Yoko Ono--No, No, No

If Yoko's works don't count as real music, then I go for Queen's Radio Ga-Ga (love the song, but only because it's so incredibly abysmal)

[Alkie]

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Bad Day by Daniel Powter.  I win.  Lock thread.

We do, in fact, have a winner.

[David in Jackson]

"We Built this City" by Starship

[Bill McLuggage]

Venga Boys 'We Like To Party'

Will make you piss green in a matter of seconds.

[MusicMan]

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Bad Day by Daniel Powter.  I win.  Lock thread.

We do, in fact, have a winner.

I see your "Bad Day" and raise you "Who Let the Dogs Out"

[matadorph]

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"We Built this City" by Starship

yep.

that song tops my list of Favorite Annoying Songs to Plant in Co-Workers' Heads.

[JGrave]

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"We Built this City" by Starship

yep.

that song tops my list of Favorite Annoying Songs to Plant in Co-Workers' Heads.

The best earworm is "My Baby Takes the Morning Train" by Sheena Easton.  I just have to hum it and my girlfriend will be singing it to herself for weeks.

[MusicMan]

Damn you.  Damn you to hell.

"My baby takes the morning train/
he works from nine to five and then/
he takes another home again..."

[pravata]

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Bad Day by Daniel Powter.  I win.  Lock thread.

We do, in fact, have a winner.

I see your "Bad Day" and raise you "Who Let the Dogs Out"

Ya'll arent even trying.  Celine Dion? Ricky Martin? Chance!?

[BudGirl]

Tainted Love by Soft Cell

[Astros Fan in SoCal]

I Alone by Live.

[Mr. Happy]

I can come up with a few contendas:

Muskrat Love-Captain and Tennille
Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft-Klaatu/Carpenters
Feelings-Morris Albert
I'm Not Lisa-Jessi Colter

[JimR]

You Light Up My Life--Various "Artists"

[austro]

I'm not a huge GnR fan, but there are many songs worse than "November Rain".  Try "My Name is Luca", for example.  Now I must go kill myself.

[astrojo]

I would like to submit "Tubthumping" by Chumba Wumba.

[Craig]

I'm going to have to go with "MacArthur Park." Either version.

"Someone left the cake out in the rain"

[hostros7]

"The Macarena" = Worst Song, Worst Dance, Worst Fad.

Triple Crown.

[Mr. Happy]

Key Largo-Bertie Higgins

Talk about annoying get into your head songs, consider the refrain:

We had it all
just like Bogie and Bacall
Starring in our own late, late show
sailing away to Key Largo

[Holly]

If you like pina coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain...

No Escape from *that* one.

[Fredia]

Thank GOd and Greyhound your gone
nuff said

[No? in Austin]

"Bette Davis Eyes".  Yuck, what an awful, awful, awful song!

[HurricaneDavid]

"Hey Baby" by Gwen Stefani.  The video will make you vomit with rage.  "Dancing Queen" by Abba makes me wish I was born deaf.

[cougar]

Some might like it because of the cheese factor, but "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred.  The only redeeming thing about this song is that it makes fun of idiot models.

The video is worse than the song.  Despite the women it's almost as homoerotic as the volleyball scene in "Top Gun".

[Zan]

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If you like pina coladas
And gettin' caught in the rain...

No Escape from *that* one.

That's a good song.

Worst song: One Week by the Bare Naked Ladies.

[Limey]

Cannot believe this thread has not yet once mentioned anything by Roxette nor the Chicken Dance.

[tophfar]

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the Chicken Dance.

i cannot garuantee the veracity of this story since i can't remember much from this night, but several years ago...

after a night at Club No Minor, and about 4 1/2 of the blue "margarittas" (for those that don't know, the margarittas have nothing to do with an actual margaritta, its crushed ice, blue food coloring, and Everclear), a group of us ended up at City Streets.

after having to talk the bouncer into letting one of our guys in, and him telling us he couldnt be served anymore that night, we walk in to the opening bars of The Chicken Dance.  

supposedly, They say I grabbed two women, screamed "hell yeah the Chicken Dance" and proceeded to SPRINT to the dance floor, and I guess, Chicken Dance my head off with these two ladies.

The night ended with us getting thrown out because the guy from earlier ended up at a table sitting with his head on his hands, and puking all over the front of him and the floor.  for some reason, the bar backs told the bouncers and out we went.

Or so i've been told, I dont remember it, so I can truthfully deny that it happened, to the best of my recollection.

[jaklewein]

Oh...I can't wait to join in on this.

I now present you with..."My Sharona".  Damn...this will be the worst night's sleep I've had in a while...damn this thread!

[UpTooLate]

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Cannot believe this thread has not yet once mentioned anything by Roxette nor the Chicken Dance.

Cannot believe that you didn't mention that David Hasselhoff song/video that you posted a couple of weeks ago.

FWIW and IMHO "My Sharona" and "Betty Davis Eyes" are not bad songs.  Maybe they bring back good retro memories...i dunno.

Speaking of retro...my nomination goes to (can't remember the artist)..

We had joy we had fun/
We had seasons in the sun/
But the stars we could reach/
Were just starfish on the beach/

Admit it... this song will be torturing you the rest of the day.  Where do I collect my prize?

[Jose Cruz III]

The worst song of all time, and possibly the 2nd most annoying, is I've got My Heart set on You.........

"well it's gonna take money
a whole lot of spending money
it's gonna take plenty of money
to get it right.

Just how many hookers was George planning on nailing?

The most annoying..........

"Heres a little song I wrote
you might wanna sing it note for note.......
Don't worry, be happy."

Now I will sing it for a month.

[The Third Man]

BudGirl, shall we re-christen you CrackGirl? (I keed, I keed...) In a world of Creed, Sting and Journey there is no fucking way that "Tainted Love" is the worst song ever. Pointless trivia: "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell is a cover of a great soul record by Gloria Jones from the '60's. Seek it out and thank me later.

Worst song ever? How about "Muskrat Love" by THE Captain and Tenille. I would rather be stuck in a room with a wolverine on angel dust than listen to that song again.

[lc_db]

The Houston Oilers Fight Song....

[Mr. Happy]

Muskrat Love was already named.

[Astrobabe]

That damn "I'm A Barbie Girl" song.
Come on Barbie, let's go party...

[Tralfaz]

OK, the song that the Round Rock Express started using in their radio comercials this year has got to be mentioned here.  I know, technically a jingle, but my god it is so bad it bears mention.

[Holzmiento]

The Artist: Snow, The Album: 12 inches of Snow, The Song: Enformer.

Runner up, the previously mentioned Live song with the word "placenta" in it.

[BudGirl]

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The Artist: Snow, The Album: 12 inches of Snow, The Song: Enformer.

Runner up, the previously mentioned Live song with the word "placenta" in it.

I Alone is different than Lightening Crashes.

[Andyzipp]

Blind Man in The Bleachers...there is no substitute.

[strosrays]

The '80s and after have been covered pretty well.


1970's

The aforementioned "Muskrat Love" (written by a Texan, BTW) is not only terrible, but so terrible that the Captain and Toenail and America (of "Sister Golden Hair" fame) thought it was a good idea to record it.  That should lock up the prize.  Muskrat Suzy, Muskrat Sam, take a bow.

"Keep Dancin'" - Disco Tex (a/k/a Monte Rock III) and the Sex-O-Lettes

"Chevy Van" - by whomever

"Me & You & A Dog Named 'Boo'" - Lobo (I once won a 'Best Songs About Threesomes' contest with this)

"Hocus Pocus" - Focus.  Yodel rock.

"I'm Afraid Of Me" - whomever

"Thank God I'm A (Highland Park) Country Boy" - John 'The Aviator' Denver

Pretty much anything by Leo Sayer.  Mime rock.

"Afternoon Delight" - Starland Vocal Band (Still, oddly erotic in its way.)

"First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" - Roberta Flack.  I don't care if it was from a Clint Eastwood movie.  Merriam Webster's #2 definiton for "sleep-inducing" (Quaaludes was #1.)

And many, many more.  I sometimes think smoking weed was so widely accepted in the Seventies because it helped alleviate the effects of what was spewing forth from the (AM) radio.

[Kit]

I nominate this song by (was it Foreigner?) (80)

dirtyWHITEboy,dirtywhiteboy,dirtyWHITEboy,dirtywhiteboy, dirtyWHITEboy,dirtywhiteboy,dirty WHITEboy,dirtywhiteboy,
dirtyWHITEboy,dirtywhiteboy,dirtyWHITEboy,dirtywhiteboy, dirtyWHITEboy,dirtywhiteboy,dirty WHITEboy,dirtywhiteboy,

Don't know the title of it though (80)

I have to second the seasons in the sun nomination
and honorable mentions to
"Torn between Two lovers"..by some evil bitch. and any Barry Manilow tune.

[astrox]

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Damn you.  Damn you to hell.

"My baby takes the morning train/
he works from nine to five and then/
he takes another home again..."

This morning, shortly after my alarm buzzer was snoozed, I laid in bed basking in the joy that I've been given yet another day to enjoy life.  And as I lay there in the pale dawn's light, a song began to play in my head.  Was it "A Day in the Life"? No, that would be too appropriate for a morning such as this.  Was it "Up on Cripple Creek"?  No, it was too early for that.

No...it was:

"My baby takes the morning train/
he works from nine to five and then/
he takes another home again..."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

[Ty in Tampa]

I submit: "Shannon"

If you don't know it, look it up. You'll be sorry you did.

[strosrays]

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Damn you.  Damn you to hell.

"My baby takes the morning train/
he works from nine to five and then/
he takes another home again..."

This morning, shortly after my alarm buzzer was snoozed, I laid in bed basking in the joy that I've been given yet another day to enjoy life.  And as I lay there in the pale dawn's light, a song began to play in my head.  Was it "A Day in the Life"? No, that would be too appropriate for a morning such as this.  Was it "Up on Cripple Creek"?  No, it was too early for that.

No...it was:

"My baby takes the morning train/
he works from nine to five and then/
he takes another home again..."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Keep repeating "Me and my mate/Were back at the shack/We had Spike Jones on the box" to yourself, and you'll eventually drive it out.  

And try not to think about "Sugar Walls".  Anatomy rock.

[austro]

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And many, many more.  I sometimes think smoking weed was so widely accepted in the Seventies because it helped alleviate the effects of what was spewing forth from the (AM) radio.

Oh, God, the flashbacks won't stop!  Gary Wright: Dream Weaver.  Pseudo-music.  Aaaarrrggghhhh!

[astrox]

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Keep repeating "Me and my mate/Were back at the shack/We had Spike Jones on the box" to yourself, and you'll eventually drive it out.  

And try not to think about "Sugar Walls".  Anatomy rock.

"Now, there's one thing in the whole wide world I sure do love to see/it's how that little sweet thing of mine puts her donut in my tea."

[JGrave]

I like Styx.  They are always fun when someone sings them at a karaoke night or something but I can't stand the song Mr. Roboto.  Terrible, terrible song.

[Kit]

uh oh.....I like Up on Cripple Creek ...more than a little
actually didn't mind, Hocus Pocus either although your right yodeling has no place in R&R, the rest of the song kind of kicks ass though..

[No? in Austin]

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"First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" - Roberta Flack.  I don't care if it was from a Clint Eastwood movie.  Merriam Webster's #2 definiton for "sleep-inducing" (Quaaludes was #1.)

True story:

I went to my niece's wedding this weekend.  All my family is there.  I sit with my two oldest sisters and their husbands.  My wife is with me and while we're drinking coffee, eating wedding cake and talking about good memories when we were kids, the DJ calls my niece and her Dad (my brother-in-law) to the dance floor for the traditional father/daughter dance.

He plays some sort of whack country song that I guess my niece picked out.  I have to remember to talk to her about that later.... but I digress.  Any way, the conversation at our table becomes the ever popular "What's your song?" discussion.  Meaning, what song do you and your spouse consider "your song".  This is a shameless excuse to make fun of each other in a sibling sort of way.  There may be a ton of collateral damage when my sisters and I are in that mood, but spouses be damned, full speed ahead.

I go first: "Open Arms" by Journey (*wince*).  I take some full body blows, a couple in knees to the groin and several head slaps worth of insults and gawfaws about my wife and I's selection.  The missus is a bit hurt, but I held her for a bit and let her know by my evil grin that going first is always the best idea... never go last in these family discussions.  I will exact our revenge... oooh, you better believe it!  She smiles, her man is on the job!

After a few hits in the solar plexes for my two sisters, my oldest sister goes last and says: "Rami and I's song is The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face... by Roberta Flack".  There it is, my wide open door for some serious, serious, serious damage inflicting barbs!  The table gets to launch the cover fire first, landing a few well placed insults here and there, while I waited.  My wife looks at me as if to ask "You're not going to join in?"

Oh yeah, baybee... watch me work...

"You know what that song is about, right?" I throw out, as innocently as I could muster.

"What?" asks my sis.

"Her cat!" I says.

"Her what?" she asks.

"Cat.  Gato.  C-A-T!"

"You're kidding?"

"No, she wrote that song about her pet.  Some sort of sick, perverted, insane obession with a feline.  I think, if I remember correctly, she was investigated for this festish too.  Very sick!"

"Get out of here!  Nooooo!"

"I'm not kidding, it's all true"

(Wife looks at me as if she can't believe I'm making this level of shit up... I kiss her on the cheek and whisper "It's true")

"Rami... is this true?  Come on Noe, you're lying... noooooo?  Aye....ugh!"

I didn't have the heart after that deflating blow to let her know that "Oh Mandy" by Barry Manilow was about his pet dog.  She loves Barry Manilow too.

[EasTexAstro]

I love you
You love me
We're a happy family...

[HudsonHawk]

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"Chevy Van" - by whomever

Sammy Johns.  I know this because a friend of mine is a beach bar singer down in Florida and he swears this is the most requested song he does.  Not Margaritaville, but Chevy Van.  By Sammy Johns.


Has anyone mentioned I've Never Been To Me by Charlene?  If ever there has been a song that makes me want to stick sharp objects in my ear, that's the one.

[chuck]

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Damn you.  Damn you to hell.

"My baby takes the morning train/
he works from nine to five and then/
he takes another home again..."

This morning, shortly after my alarm buzzer was snoozed, I laid in bed basking in the joy that I've been given yet another day to enjoy life.  And as I lay there in the pale dawn's light, a song began to play in my head.  Was it "A Day in the Life"? No, that would be too appropriate for a morning such as this.  Was it "Up on Cripple Creek"?  No, it was too early for that.

No...it was:

"My baby takes the morning train/
he works from nine to five and then/
he takes another home again..."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Keep repeating "Me and my mate/Were back at the shack/We had Spike Jones on the box" to yourself, and you'll eventually drive it out.  

And try not to think about "Sugar Walls".  Anatomy rock.

Who is cooler than Levon Helm? There's got to be someoene but I can't think of him offhand at the moment.

The Logical Song or whatever the hell it's called by Supertramp sends me into the homicidal range.

[HudsonHawk]

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Who is cooler than Levon Helm? There's got to be someoene but I can't think of him offhand at the moment.

Steve Earle

[chuck]

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Who is cooler than Levon Helm? There's got to be someoene but I can't think of him offhand at the moment.

Steve Earle

No fucking way, my friend.

No way.

[HudsonHawk]

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Who is cooler than Levon Helm? There's got to be someoene but I can't think of him offhand at the moment.

Steve Earle

No fucking way, my friend.

No way.

You know how I know you're gay...

[chuck]

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Who is cooler than Levon Helm? There's got to be someoene but I can't think of him offhand at the moment.

Steve Earle

No fucking way, my friend.

No way.

You know how I know you're gay...

Is this some film reference that I should be getting?

[HudsonHawk]

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Is this some film reference that I should be getting?

Dude...40 Year Old Virgin.  Funniest movie in the last 30 years.  Don't tell me you haven't seen it.

[Andyzipp]

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Who is cooler than Levon Helm? There's got to be someoene but I can't think of him offhand at the moment.

Lemmy.

[Ty in Tampa]

 

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Don't tell me you haven't seen it.

You know how I know you're gay...

[chuck]

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Is this some film reference that I should be getting?

Dude...40 Year Old Virgin.  Funniest movie in the last 30 years.  Don't tell me you haven't seen it.

I didn't figure it applied to me.

[HudsonHawk]

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Is this some film reference that I should be getting?

Dude...40 Year Old Virgin.  Funniest movie in the last 30 years.  Don't tell me you haven't seen it.

I didn't figure it applied to me.

You know what your problem is?  You're putting the pussy on a pedestal.  

Seriously man, you need to see that movie.

[HudsonHawk]

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Don't tell me you haven't seen it.

You know how I know you're gay...

Cause you like Coldplay.

[JGrave]

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Is this some film reference that I should be getting?

Dude...40 Year Old Virgin.  Funniest movie in the last 30 years.  Don't tell me you haven't seen it.

I didn't figure it applied to me.

Seriously man, you need to see that movie.

My favorite character is Paula.  

"You ever heard the term 'fuck buddy'?  It's a friend who you fuck."

[JGrave]

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Don't tell me you haven't seen it.

You know how I know you're gay...

'Cause you're holding each other ever so gently.

[chuck]

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Don't tell me you haven't seen it.

You know how I know you're gay...

Cause you like Coldplay.

I'll admit to not disliking Coldplay, but I don't know enough about them to have an opinion one way or another. Of course, I had never heard of Daniel Powter before this thread. And happily so by all appearances.

My gay gauge is often along the lines of Kinky Friedman's - you're gay if you like girls more than football.

[Ty in Tampa]

"You know how I know you're gay? Cuz you're gay and you can tell who other gay people are."

[jaklewein]

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The Artist: Snow, The Album: 12 inches of Snow, The Song: Enformer.

Runner up, the previously mentioned Live song with the word "placenta" in it.

Couple of you guys are killing me...Live rocks!

[jaklewein]

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Is this some film reference that I should be getting?

Dude...40 Year Old Virgin.  Funniest movie in the last 30 years.  Don't tell me you haven't seen it.

Great movie, but it doesn't beat Old School.

[Curly]

The Duke...or Doin' the Duke.  You remember..."Dah Ha Ha Ha...Dah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.

[HudsonHawk]

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Is this some film reference that I should be getting?

Dude...40 Year Old Virgin.  Funniest movie in the last 30 years.  Don't tell me you haven't seen it.

Great movie, but it doesn't beat Old School.

Old School is like Dodgeball or Anchorman...good for a few chuckles, but 40YOV is rolling on the floor in hysterics for two hours funny.  It's the funniest movie I've seen since Blazing Saddles.

[austro]

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Old School is like Dodgeball or Anchorman...good for a few chuckles, but 40YOV is rolling on the floor in hysterics for two hours funny.  It's the funniest movie I've seen since Blazing Saddles.

It must be 2 hours 20 minutes long, because I gave up on the sucker after 20 excruciating minutes.  Maybe the next two hours are better.

[S.P. Rodriguez]

My Best Friends Girlfriend - The Cars

It's not the worst song I've ever heard but it is the most annoying.

[HudsonHawk]

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It must be 2 hours 20 minutes long, because I gave up on the sucker after 20 excruciating minutes.  Maybe the next two hours are better.

Wow.  If you didn't think 40YOV was funny, I can't imagine you find anything funny.

[ybbodeus]

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Is this some film reference that I should be getting?

Dude...40 Year Old Virgin.  Funniest movie in the last 30 years.  Don't tell me you haven't seen it.

Great movie, but it doesn't beat Old School.

Blows Old School out of the water.  Old School's just okay by comparison.  40 was stunningly funny and so much better written than Old School or anything else since perhaps Trading Places that it's not even worth discussing.

BACK ON TOPIC?  Worst song of all time for me is Heartbeat Lovebeat by the DeFranco Family.  Why isn't it ever on these lists, that annoying piece of $hit song?  

Runner up?  I know they're some kind of sacred cow band to a lot of folks, but I was never a big Fleetwood Mac fan. They were just another band that sold too many records, as far as I was concerned, at least for what they wrote.  Didn't hate 'um; just weren't fans.  However, there was one song of theirs that would make me ponder putting a bullet in their work...that horrific song Ryannon or whatever it is with that disturbingly whiny nasal chorus.  It angered me so that I would find myself longing for Disco Duck or Skyrockets in Flight/Afternoon Delight...sort of the musical equivalent of needing to lick a dog's ass to get the bad taste out of my mouth....and stuff.

[LonghornCDR]

Actors turned singers have provided some strong contenders:

Don Johnson - Heartbeat

Patrick Swayze - She's Like the Wind

Eddie Murphy - Party All the Time

[ybbodeus]

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Actors turned singers have provided some strong contenders:

Don Johnson - Heartbeat

Patrick Swayze - She's Like the Wind

Eddie Murphy - Party All the Time

And athletes, too.

Deion Sanders comes to mind.

[Golden Sombrero]

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Actors turned singers have provided some strong contenders:

Don Johnson - Heartbeat

Patrick Swayze - She's Like the Wind

Eddie Murphy - Party All the Time

And athletes, too.

Deion Sanders comes to mind.

And Shaq Diesel

[ybbodeus]

How about great artists that made big mistakes?  For example, Springsteen's Hungry Heart?

[T. J.]

Ahem.

Achy Breaky Heart

[BudGirl]

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Ahem.

Achy Breaky Heart

I changed my mind.  That is the worst EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a roommate that would listen to that piece of shit all day long.  It is no wonder we don't keep in contact anymore.

[Golden Sombrero]

Anything by Leonard Bernstein

[ybbodeus]

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Ahem.

Achy Breaky Heart

Yeah, it's bad, but it's laughably bad, especially when you visualize the porn-mullet sporting, tenny shoe wearing, tank top lovin', can't play an instrument goober who sings it.  Change the lyrics..."my baby cut a fart; I just don't think that I can stand."

[strosrays]

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The Artist: Snow, The Album: 12 inches of Snow, The Song: Enformer.

Runner up, the previously mentioned Live song with the word "placenta" in it.

Couple of you guys are killing me...Live rocks!

Well, sorry to hear that.

I used to think of Live as the '90s version of The Hooters, for some reason.

Which reminds me... "All You Zombies" by The Hooters.  Melodica rock.

Also that "Take On Me" song.  I assume whoever released that has been bludgeoned to death by now.

And thinking about earworms, the one I always get my next-oldest brother with is "Man On The Silver Mountain", by whatever band Ritchie Blackmore was in at the time.  Drives my brother crazy.  The only thing is, you have to be careful of blow-back when using it on someone.  Nothing worse than a self-induced earworm.

[Golden Sombrero]

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And thinking about earworms, the one I always get my next-oldest brother with is "Man On The Silver Mountain", by whatever band Ritchie Blackmore was in at the time.  Drives my brother crazy.  The only thing is, you have to be careful of blow-back when using it on someone.  Nothing worse than a self-induced earworm.

It was effective.  As soon as I read "Man on the Silver Mountain," the guitar riff started going in my head.  And now I keep hearing "Someone's screaming my name" over and over again.

[austro]

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Wow. If you didn't think 40YOV was funny, I can't imagine you find anything funny.

Maybe it got better; I'll probably never know.

Big Lebowski, Snatch, Office Space, Holy Grail, Spinal Tap: those are funny movies.  Ever since the success of There's Something About Mary, there's been a trend toward what I'll call the Stillerization of comedy that leaves me unimpressed.  Maybe I shouldn't lump 40YOV in that group, but for whatever reason, it didn't grab me.

[Newbomb_Turk]

For your listening pleasure:

 Hell's Jukebox

I'm enjoying this thread very much... back to deep lurking mode.

Edit:  Apparently some of these songs are so bad, the links have been corrupted.

[strosrays]

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Actors turned singers have provided some strong contenders:

Don Johnson - Heartbeat

Patrick Swayze - She's Like the Wind

Eddie Murphy - Party All the Time

And athletes, too.

Deion Sanders comes to mind.

"Don't Give Up On Us" - David Soul (the original Hutch)

"Let Her In" - Kotter-era John Travolta

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How about great artists that made big mistakes? For example, Springsteen's Hungry Heart?

Wilson Pickett -- 'Wicked Pickett' -- released a version of "Sugar, Sugar" once.  In other words, he "covered" The Archies.

Funny thing was, it was a hit.  Funnier thing was, Pickett almost made that song sound legit.  I'm thinking he is one of the only people around who could've pulled that off.

[strosrays]

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For your listening pleasure:

 Hell's Jukebox

I'm enjoying this thread very much... back to deep lurking mode.

Edit:  Apparently some of these songs are so bad, the links have been corrupted.

Pretty "good" selection, though.  He's right on about "Honey."  I'd completely (happily) forgot Bobby Goldsboro.  For some reason that song reminds me of Wayne Newton's "Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast", too.

Bobby Goldsboro... another intra-office contest awhile back was Best Songs That Could Be Referencing Viagra/Cialis/etc.  A manager down the hall won it with "It's Hard" by The Who.  But I thought my choice was better -- Bobby Goldsboro's "Watching Scotty Grow".

[ybbodeus]

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Wow. If you didn't think 40YOV was funny, I can't imagine you find anything funny.

Maybe it got better; I'll probably never know.

Big Lebowski, Snatch, Office Space, Holy Grail, Spinal Tap: those are funny movies.  Ever since the success of There's Something About Mary, there's been a trend toward what I'll call the Stillerization of comedy that leaves me unimpressed.  Maybe I shouldn't lump 40YOV in that group, but for whatever reason, it didn't grab me.

If you ever DO opt to try again on that one, I recommend the unedited version which is about nine minutes or so longer and worth the watch.  I've seen everything you listed there, save Snatch, and two of them are my favorites of all time...Holy Grail and Spinal Tap.  I liked 40, because frankly, that's how people talk, especially guys in the bull pitt.

I still go with Trading Places as my favorite....."Sell down in April at 142!!!"

[Taras Bulba]

Quote:

Quote:
For your listening pleasure:

 Hell's Jukebox

I'm enjoying this thread very much... back to deep lurking mode.

Edit:  Apparently some of these songs are so bad, the links have been corrupted.

Pretty "good" selection, though.  He's right on about "Honey."  I'd completely (happily) forgot Bobby Goldsboro.  For some reason that song reminds me of Wayne Newton's "Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast", too.

Bobby Goldsboro... another intra-office contest awhile back was Best Songs That Could Be Referencing Viagra/Cialis/etc.  A manager down the hall won it with "It's Hard" by The Who.  But I thought my choice was better -- Bobby Goldsboro's "Watching Scotty Grow".

Ted Nugent's heartwarming rendition of, "My Love is Like a Tire Iron."

[ybbodeus]

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Ted Nugent's heartwarming rendition of, "My Love is Like a Tire Iron."

Tire Iron?  I always thought he was saying Five Iron.  The things you learn here.

[MRaup]

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Speaking of retro...my nomination goes to (can't remember the artist)..

We had joy we had fun/
We had seasons in the sun/
But the stars we could reach/
Were just starfish on the beach/

Admit it... this song will be torturing you the rest of the day.  Where do I collect my prize?

My favorite band of the moment is a Punk cover band by the name of Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies.

They do an AWESOME cover of Seasons in the Sun. Its about 2 minutes long and about 5x faster than the original.

[HurricaneDavid]

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My favorite band of the moment is a Punk cover band by the name of Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies.

I like their version of "I Believe I Can Fly."

[MRaup]

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My favorite band of the moment is a Punk cover band by the name of Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies.

I like their version of "I Believe I Can Fly."

The whole album with that tune on it is great. Its covers of 80s and 90s pop songs, including the whitest version of "End of the Road" you've ever heard, and a 10x faster version of "Hello".

[littlevisigoth]

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Ahem.

Achy Breaky Heart

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Here's one.  I was at the rodeo a couple of years ago to see Jerry Jeff Walker, and whoever the bumpkin after him was played a panderous "support our troops" number, called something like "Iraq, I rack 'em up, and I roll".  It seriously made me wish the music was no longer a medium by which people could express themselves.  Truly horrific.

[Ty in Tampa]

You're the one who went to the rodeo, man.

[ybbodeus]

A goth that likes baseball and rodeos?  Man, looks like those folks are expanding their "brand", huh?

[chuck]

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Speaking of retro...my nomination goes to (can't remember the artist)..

We had joy we had fun/
We had seasons in the sun/
But the stars we could reach/
Were just starfish on the beach/

Admit it... this song will be torturing you the rest of the day.  Where do I collect my prize?

My favorite band of the moment is a Punk cover band by the name of Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies.

They do an AWESOME cover of Seasons in the Sun. Its about 2 minutes long and about 5x faster than the original.

If that means the song's over five times faster then count me in.

Anyone like  these guys? Samba versions of new wave/punk songs? I have no idea why I like it, but I do, god help me.

[MRaup]

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Speaking of retro...my nomination goes to (can't remember the artist)..

We had joy we had fun/
We had seasons in the sun/
But the stars we could reach/
Were just starfish on the beach/

Admit it... this song will be torturing you the rest of the day.  Where do I collect my prize?

My favorite band of the moment is a Punk cover band by the name of Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies.

They do an AWESOME cover of Seasons in the Sun. Its about 2 minutes long and about 5x faster than the original.

If that means the song's over five times faster then count me in.

Anyone like  these guys? Samba versions of new wave/punk songs? I have no idea why I like it, but I do, god help me.

Same idea, different music genre.

MF&tGG do a cover of Heart of Glass, but its... uh... faster than that theirs.

[ybbodeus]

We forgot all about Mrs. Miller.  It's gotta be a toss up between her version of Strangers in the Night and Girl From Impanema....hell, pretty much anything she sang is the worst song of all time.

These Boots are Made For Walkin', anyone?

Or am I the only geezer here who remembers the lady?

[littlevisigoth]

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You're the one who went to the rodeo, man.

touche.  the Houston Rodeo and Livestock show is truly a spectacle to see, though.  i guess i just hadn't prepared myself for just how aweful country music can get.  i do quite like JJW, though.

and i'm not a goth.  the handle is a term of endearment my girlfriend used once, which i think was more referring to early germanic barbarian types and was used to imply that i was brutish.  i couldn't think of a good username.

[MRaup]

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You're the one who went to the rodeo, man.

touche.  the Houston Rodeo and Livestock show is truly a spectacle to see, though.  i guess i just hadn't prepared myself for just how aweful country music can get.  i do quite like JJW, though.

and i'm not a goth.  the handle is a term of endearment my girlfriend used once, which i think was more referring to early germanic barbarian types and was used to imply that i was brutish.  i couldn't think of a good username.

That exploding sound you just heard in the distance was my brain.

[chuck]

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We forgot all about Mrs. Miller.  It's gotta be a toss up between her version of Strangers in the Night and Girl From Impanema....hell, pretty much anything she sang is the worst song of all time.

These Boots are Made For Walkin', anyone?

Or am I the only geezer here who remembers the lady?

I own The Turned-On World of Mrs. Miller. Yes, I do. Of course I also own Tiny Tim's Christmas record, the Shaggs' Philosophy of the World and several Jandek LPs.

But I actually like Mrs. Miller, the Shaggs, et al. So I would certainly not nominate any Mrs. Miller tune for a worst-of list. Along the same lines it would sadden yet not surprise me to see someone suggest, say, My Pal Foot Foot.

Those of the opinion that Metal Machine Music is the only or even the best way to rid one's home of unwanted guests are sadly mistaken.

[astrojim]

God, country music has gotten so bad. My wife and I will watch CMT sometimes for it's comedic value.  Ever notice how every country artist has a real imaginative cd (or album) cover?  Just a head with a hat.  Trace Adkins comes to mind.  My late nominees:

Today: Badonkadonk-Trace Adkins (Video should be melted)
Yesteryear: Air Supply-Lost in Love (Just its title makes me want to hurl oatmeal chunks)

[MRaup]

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God, country music has gotten so bad. My wife and I will watch CMT sometimes for it's comedic value.  Ever notice how every country artist has a real imaginative cd (or album) cover?  Just a head with a hat.  Trace Adkins comes to mind.  My late nominees:

Today: Badonkadonk-Trace Adkins (Video should be melted)
Yesteryear: Air Supply-Lost in Love (Just its title makes me want to hurl oatmeal chunks)

YOU'RE THE WINNER!!!!!!

Honky Tonk Badonkadonk was the final straw for me when it comes to non-Texas country. I refuse to listen to anything made after the year 1990 now, when it comes to Country Music made in the Nashville way.

[ybbodeus]

I vote for the next single the American Idol clown releases.  Currently, I'd vote FORD MOTOR COMPANY off the island for promoting the ba$tard.  

Since when is a soul patrol populated by honky white kids from Alabama?

[Limey]

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Actors turned singers have provided some strong contenders:

Don Johnson - Heartbeat

Patrick Swayze - She's Like the Wind

Eddie Murphy - Party All the Time

Anything by a member of the original Star Trek cast, most notably Nimoy or Shatner.

[Astroholic]

There is actually some really good contry being done these days (or Rockabilly)  Check out Hank Williams III.  of course I like the Outlaws (Willie, Waylon, DA Coe, Cash, etc) but am mostly a rocker.  What is really bad? Any KidsBop.xx  There is really nothing worse than kids singing really bad current top 40.

[strosrays]

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Actors turned singers have provided some strong contenders:

Don Johnson - Heartbeat

Patrick Swayze - She's Like the Wind

Eddie Murphy - Party All the Time

Anything by a member of the original Star Trek cast, most notably Nimoy or Shatner.

And lets don't forget  this little gem.  He was as big in Poland, I've heard, as Hasselhoff was in Germany.

The version of "You've Lost That Loving Feeling" is truly... startling.

[chuck]

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Honky Tonk Badonkadonk was the final straw for me when it comes to non-Texas country. I refuse to listen to anything made after the year 1990 now, when it comes to Country Music made in the Nashville way.

My cutoff date is somewhere around 1965.

[Lefty]

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Anything by a member of the original Star Trek cast, most notably Nimoy or Shatner.

Oh shit, now you've done it.

The Link

Hilarious, yet seriously disturbing.

[UpTooLate]

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The Link

Hilarious, yet seriously disturbing.

No kidding.  I can hear the director now: "Acid hits for everybody!  This video is gonna be great!!"

I'm watching that..whatever it was..and I'm thinking that  Leonard hanging with all the hot chicks in that goofy video reminded me of something else.  Then it finally occured to me.  TOM VU!  This guy is the original Ladies Man/Infomercial Genius.  I'm pretty much hijacking the thread at this point, but I haven't seen this in years and the guy is hilarious.  

 LINK

"You too can be milinare! Jus com to my seminar!" Classic stuff.

[The Third Man]

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Actors turned singers have provided some strong contenders:

Don Johnson - Heartbeat

Patrick Swayze - She's Like the Wind

Eddie Murphy - Party All the Time

Anything by a member of the original Star Trek cast, most notably Nimoy or Shatner.

Shatner's versions of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and "Mr. Tambourine" are much, much tripper than the originals. Also, if  Shatner's "It was a Very Good Year" does not make you curl up in the fetal position and cry your Goddamned eyes then you are a fucking robot!

[ybbodeus]

I have seen the light.  Those Shatner things were horrific.  The fact that Priceline tried to bring them back in a cultish sort of way should forever ban them to the Diet Rite Cola level of irrelevance.

[Kit]

Could open up a whole other thread, with the worst cover songs...bing crosby did a version of "Hey Jude" that could cause the ears to bleed. Only times I've heard it was on the 50 year old jukebox at the classic Dry Creek Saloon on Mount Bonnell Rd. in Austin, TX ..so bad you would consider jumping off the viewing deck....

BRING YOUR BOTTLES DOWN!!!

[Golden Sombrero]

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the Diet Rite Cola level of irrelevance.

Now that's a line.  I could never understand why the Diet version of RC (Royal Crown) was called Diet Rite and not Diet RC.  Madness on a grand scale.

[das]

you spin me right 'round baby right 'round
like a record baby, right 'round 'round 'round.

Ugh.

[strosrays]

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you spin me right 'round baby right 'round
like a record baby, right 'round 'round 'round.

Ugh.

Down, down has the gauntlet been thrown.

"We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance
And if they don't dance
Well, they're no friends of mine..."

[Bench]

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you spin me right 'round baby right 'round
like a record baby, right 'round 'round 'round.

Ugh.

Down, down has the gauntlet been thrown.

"We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance
And if they don't dance
Well, they're no friends of mine..."

Hey now, that's my karaoke standard. That way I can just do a robot voice and blame the song for everything bad.

One song I really really hate is that "they paved paradise and put in a parking lot" abortion. It's so annoying and obnoxious.

[HudsonHawk]

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One song I really really hate is that "they paved paradise and put in a parking lot" abortion. It's so annoying and obnoxious.

I actually like Joni Mitchell and don't mind that song all that much.

[ValpoCory]

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One song I really really hate is that "they paved paradise and put in a parking lot" abortion. It's so annoying and obnoxious.

I actually like Joni Mitchell and don't mind that song all that much.

As long as it's the Joni Mitchell version of "Big Yellow Taxi" and not the Counting Crows/Vanessa Carlton or the heaven for bid Amy Grant version, I'm good too.

[Craig]

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you spin me right 'round baby right 'round
like a record baby, right 'round 'round 'round.

Ugh.

Down, down has the gauntlet been thrown.

"We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance
And if they don't dance
Well, they're no friends of mine..."

Goddamnit, strosrays, you reminded me of this piece of shit:

"I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm"

[strosrays]

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you spin me right 'round baby right 'round
like a record baby, right 'round 'round 'round.

Ugh.

Down, down has the gauntlet been thrown.

"We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance
And if they don't dance
Well, they're no friends of mine..."

Goddamnit, strosrays, you reminded me of this piece of shit:

"I'm never gonna dance again
Guilty feet have got no rhythm"

Which brings up another thread offshoot possibility -- songs with lyrics that ascribe animate qualities to inanimate objects and/or employ the personification of non-person type subjects.

Something like that.


"'I am,' I said
To no one there
And no one heard
Not even the chair... "

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Yummy Fuckin' Yummy, I've got love in my Goddamn tummy, and I feel like I might have to kill somebody now. Assholes, that ain't no way to treat a lady, no way to treat your baby, your lover. your friend. Come on, now!

[strosrays]

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Yummy Fuckin' Yummy, I've got love in my Goddamn tummy, and I feel like I might have to kill somebody now. Assholes, that ain't no way to treat a lady, no way to treat your baby, your lover. your friend. Come on, now!

"Havin' my baby
What a lovely way of sayin'
How much you love me

Havin' my baby
What a lovely way of sayin'
What you're thinkin' of me... " **


** - awarded 5 extra points for managing to be both abysmally sappy and monumentally narcissistic at the same time.

Yeah, Paulie, it's all about you... she got knocked up and is ready to go through nine months of discomfort or worse, just to show you how fucking much she's thinking of you.

[Ron Brand]

Billy, Don't be a Hero

The Night Chicago Died

Popsicle Toes

Please Come to Boston

I met my wife by circulating a poll for this very subject many years ago.  It's always fun to see this kind of train wreck.

[ybbodeus]

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And I'm not a goth.  the handle is a term of endearment my girlfriend used once, which i think was more referring to early germanic barbarian types and was used to imply that i was brutish.  i couldn't think of a good username.

That's a relief.  At that rate I was worried we'd start hearing about Christian Goth Movements or something.  2nd Baptist might be inclined to jump all over it, if they thought they could woo a few more souls with it.  

Boy, would THAT be a commercial, huh?  Seeing that tv preacher of theirs calling himself, "The Enchanter" or "The Impaler" and asking us to wear our robes and make-up to his "small town"?  Yikes.  Gotta switch to Exedrin or something.

[ybbodeus]

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the Diet Rite Cola level of irrelevance.

Now that's a line.  I could never understand why the Diet version of RC (Royal Crown) was called Diet Rite and not Diet RC.  Madness on a grand scale.

Let's meet for a keg somewhere and work up a powerpoint, drag Taras Bulba along for presentation credibility, and pop them the question.....charge 'um a cool quarter mil for the privilege of saving their beverage.

Or is it too late?

[ybbodeus]

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One song I really really hate is that "they paved paradise and put in a parking lot" abortion. It's so annoying and obnoxious.

I actually like Joni Mitchell and don't mind that song all that much.

As long as it's the Joni Mitchell version of "Big Yellow Taxi" and not the Counting Crows/Vanessa Carlton or the heaven for bid Amy Grant version, I'm good too.

Hijira is one of my favorite albums ever....the Furry Lewis song hooked me in.....and years later (decade plus) her duet with Willie Nelson of Cool, Cool Water was greatness.

Some of her songs ARE a tad pretentious, but it was the era when some artists were trying to rise about the total crap that was passed off as quality.....see most of the drivel that's been listed on this (edit) thread.

[Golden Sombrero]

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the Diet Rite Cola level of irrelevance.

Now that's a line.  I could never understand why the Diet version of RC (Royal Crown) was called Diet Rite and not Diet RC.  Madness on a grand scale.

Let's meet for a keg somewhere and work up a powerpoint, drag Taras Bulba along for presentation credibility, and pop them the question.....charge 'um a cool quarter mil for the privilege of saving their beverage.

Or is it too late?

It's never too late.  Sounds like a plan--it's not like I have anything else to do.  I used to want to be in marketing until I came up with my disastrous idea of a chair (or "seating system" as I christened it) that was like a waterbed--with the suicide-inducing slogan "Don't you dare call it a chair."

[ybbodeus]

Maybe we should try to lure HH in to this, have him make the cold call with an intro along the lines of, "Get the fuck off your obstacle and listen to some common sense."

I realize I said I'd try to post less earlier today and have since gone on a posting binge.  My pledge was posting in relation to baseball, though, which believe me is doing this board a favor.

[Golden Sombrero]

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Maybe we should try to lure HH in to this, have him make the cold call with an intro along the lines of, "Get the fuck off your obstacle and listen to some common sense."

I realize I said I'd try to post less earlier today and have since gone on a posting binge.  My pledge was posting in relation to baseball, though, which believe me is doing this board a favor.

I have 650 posts and I don't believe I've had a single one that added anything to the discussion.  It's what I do best--derailing conversations.

[ybbodeus]

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Billy, Don't be a Hero

The Night Chicago Died

Popsicle Toes

Please Come to Boston

Nice grouping!

YbboYoungFrankensteinDeus

[EasTexAstro]

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Quote:
Billy, Don't be a Hero

The Night Chicago Died

Popsicle Toes

Please Come to Boston

Nice grouping!

YoungYbboSteinDeus

Anyone working on their psych doctorate? You got your paper right there.

Edited by request....

[ybbodeus]

Post deleted by ybbodeus

[EasTexAstro]

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Billy, Don't be a Hero

The Night Chicago Died

Popsicle Toes

Please Come to Boston

Nice grouping!

YoungYbboSteinDeus

Anyone working on their psych doctorate? You got your paper right there.

   <breathe>  

Excellent retort.

Retort? I just thank Jobu that I didn't understand half of it, but I worry I need to protect my kids from it in some way.

To follow up with emoti...emo....em...smily faces...ahem...is just down right disturbing.

[ybbodeus]

If you're serious, I'll be more than happy to delete it.  The point was that the songs would drive one crazy.  Sorry to disturb...seriously.

[Zac D]

I get the feeling many of you have read Dave Barry's "Bad Song Survey" addressing this very topic.

[ybbodeus]

Is Jobu in the glossary?

Ybb the Baptist

Damn that Todd Walker!

[EasTexAstro]

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Is Jobu in the glossary?

Ybb the Baptist

Damn that Todd Walker!

Maybe I should have invoked Baio...

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Well, I thought I new all the bad shit, then someone mentioned, "I've Never Been To Me" by Charlene. Having never heard of it I pulled it up on Yahoo Music Engine and OH MY GOD!!! What a steaming turd heap. That song gives me the creeps. I feel dirty having listened to it. My hearing gagged on it. It made me wish I could puke the sound back out of my ears. It jetted right up to number uno with a .45 slug on my personal list... which is still subject to change upon a whim. Excuse me while I go lay in a fetal position in the shower for the next hour or two.

[ybbodeus]

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness*, then hope like hell that Charlene's and all these OTHER songs aren't added to you compliments of Heaven's musack.

Gotta figure their elevator music is just a tad more glorious.


*instead of the worst song of all time, for starters.  How has, "We got a groovy kind of love," not made this thread?  Or has it?  Phil Collins is good people, but he dropped a steak on the airwaves with THAT one.

Signed, The Man From Tennessee who wishes like HELL she'd gone to Boston, Denver, LA or even WACO; instead she stayed in Memphis, ran up all my credit cards, stole my 8-tracks (collector's items in SOME redneck circles) and kited a few checks on me.  Bit<h!

(toned it down a little; yesterday's was insane)