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Author Topic: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:  (Read 2101 times)

Alkie

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Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« on: July 27, 2006, 03:58:55 pm »
Buzzing in my head just reported Andy Pettitte to the Yankees for Bernie Williams.  

Also, My Clam and PTBNL to the Twins for Torii Hunter.

I'm not requesting these trades, I just figured...HEY!  I used to write a column on the internet that was basically a blog...why don't I make trade shit up and post it as fact?
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strosrays

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2006, 04:08:20 pm »
Quote:

Buzzing in my head just reported Andy Pettitte to the Yankees for Bernie Williams.  

Also, My Clam and PTBNL to the Twins for Torii Hunter.

I'm not requesting these trades, I just figured...HEY!  I used to write a column on the internet that was basically a blog...why don't I make trade shit up and post it as fact?




As long as we don't have to throw in a red-eared turtle in that Pettitte-Williams deal, I think its a go.

I was thinking Taveras, Lane, and my 11th grade girlfriend Liz for A-Rod.  But we might be giving too much away there.  I haven't seen her in probably twenty years, but at one time, Liz was pretty hot!
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Alkie

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2006, 04:10:34 pm »
Trust me...Liz ain't what she used to be.  We'd need to duct-tape her to this deal.  

Throw in my girlfriend from highschool and.....wait...no....she's dead in an alley I believe.

Maybe that was just a dream.

Carry on.
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MusicMan

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2006, 04:11:53 pm »
Quote:

Throw in my girlfriend from highschool and.....wait...no....she's dead in an alley I believe.




I think we just learned a little too much.
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I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

Alkie

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2006, 04:16:12 pm »
Not really.

If "burning someone in effigy" isn't really "breaking the law," then why in the world would "burning someone in kerosene" be any different?
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Alkie

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2006, 04:18:00 pm »
Quote:

I think we just learned a little too much.



In any case, we're getting away from the point here, which is that there are billions of quantum trades happening in multiple dimensions RIGHT THIS SECOND and only WE can blog all of the transactions.

It's times like this I'm glad we have...DICK JUSTICE...TO THE RESCUE!
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MusicMan

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2006, 04:18:49 pm »
Quote:

Not really.

If "burning someone in effigy" isn't really "breaking the law," then why in the world would "burning someone in kerosene" be any different?



The only possible response to this is:

Good to have you back, man.
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I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

Col. Sphinx Drummond

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2006, 04:19:20 pm »
Quote:

Not really.

If "burning someone in effigy" isn't really "breaking the law," then why in the world would "burning someone in kerosene" be any different?



As a means of self expression, sure.
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Everyone's talking, few of them know
The rest are pretending, they put on a show
And if there's a message I guess this is it
Truth isn't easy, the easy part's shit

Fredia

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #8 on: July 27, 2006, 04:19:46 pm »
i find at times like these a warm glass of mlik and a good long npa do wonders.. can anyone else hear these voices?
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Alkie

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2006, 04:21:56 pm »
Oh, you dated her too, eh?

I mean, not dated dated, but you know what I mean.  Odds are good.  I mean, if you were in (or around) the State of Texas between 1994-1997, you probably had sex with her.

Take heed of my advice: penicillin is fool's gold.  "Fire" is the only thing that will get rid of what you now have.
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Andyzipp

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2006, 04:25:07 pm »
Quote:

i find at times like these a warm glass of mlik and a good long npa do wonders.. can anyone else hear these voices?



that won't work for me...I had my npa lanced.
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Alkie

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2006, 04:26:00 pm »
Barbarians.

You Jews won't ever learn.
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Andyzipp

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2006, 04:27:25 pm »
But ever since the lancing, you watch my npa, and it doesn't appear to even know what's going on around it, but by the end of the year, it's hit like 35 homers.
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Alkie

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #13 on: July 27, 2006, 04:28:12 pm »
Is it getting boo'd in NY?
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Andyzipp

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #14 on: July 27, 2006, 04:29:19 pm »
Really only because it's a white guy pretending to be a Latin npa.
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Alkie

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #15 on: July 27, 2006, 04:30:11 pm »
NTTAWWLnpa
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Arky Vaughan

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #16 on: July 27, 2006, 04:31:16 pm »
Quote:

But ever since the lancing, you watch my npa, and it doesn't appear to even know what's going on around it, but by the end of the year, it's hit like 35 homers.



Just smear some mlik on it, and that swelling of your npa should go down.

It is good to have Alkie back.
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Alkie

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #17 on: July 27, 2006, 04:32:59 pm »
Unfortunately, I can't take credit for whatever Fredia has.  She did that all on her own.
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strosrays

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Re: Voices In My Head Are Reporting:
« Reply #18 on: July 27, 2006, 04:40:46 pm »
Quote:

Quote:

i find at times like these a warm glass of mlik and a good long npa do wonders.. can anyone else hear these voices?



that won't work for me...I had my npa lanced.




Oh, crap.  I thought she meant npa = non-prescription amphetemines and, well... godammit crap.

Looks like I'll be up picking up some new recipes for my Bullet Blender tonight.  Oh well, it's not a total loss, I guess.  I wouldn't mind putting it on the 'pulsate' setting for awhile with that Mimi chick.

As seen on TV.
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