By Craig Elliott
The Astros are returning from an uninspiring roadtrip, though it was fun to see the lolly-gagging Stem stepping on their own dicks Sunday. Now it's back home for a series with the dipshit Reds, who are somehow still leading the wildcard race. But there are two months left in the season, and I don't think Cincinnati can hold onto the lead. Now would be a good time for the Astros to thump the punkass Reds and send the overachievers back to the bottom of the Ohio River where they belong.
The Reds have lost their last two series, though they swept four games from the Rukkakies right after the All-Star Break. They're still barely holding onto the wildcard lead, but right now there are really only three NL teams (gNats, Cubs, Pirates) who are out of it. The Astros are 5 games behind Cincinnati, tied with L.A. and Colorado.
If the Astros' marketing team were on the ball, we'd be seeing Sheriff Blaylock's Authentic Chili Night right about now, with complimentary chocolate bars and packets of cinnamon to throw at Cincinnati players. Of course they'd probably just collect it all and save it for the next Greater Cincinnati Three-Way Cornhole Tournament.
When:
Tuesday, July 25, 7:05 p.m. CDT ? FSN
Wednesday, July 26, 7:05 p.m. CDT ? FSN
Thursday, July 27, 7:05 p.m. CDT ? FSN
MLB Extra Innings ? Looks like no broadcast Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday's games will be on Fox Southwest.
Where: MMPUS
Thundersticks and chatterbats, whatever those are, will be the chief giveaways this weekend. I've never seen either of those things in action, but I have a hunch they are most effective when being pounded on the Reds' dugout roof. While chanting ?Jun-i-yooooor ... come out to play-ee-ay!?
Projected Matchups
Aaron Harang (10-6, 3.72) v. Roger Clemens (2-3, 2.43)
Harang has won three of his last four decisions, but got a no-decision in his last start because he was lifted after a rain delay. He's only 4-5 lifetime against Houston, but he's 2-0 this year. In 13+ innings against the Astros this year, he's given up 5 earned runs and 10 hits, while striking out 12.
Current Astros are 54-for-200 (.270) against Harang. Biggio leads the pack at 11-for-32 (.344) with four doubles. Berkman is only 5-for-25 against Harang, but all five hits were homers. Adam Everett is 6-for-19 (.316) against him with a double and a homer, while Willy is 6-for-18. Mike Lamb is only 3-for-17 against Harang.
Clemens is 4-1 against the Reds but hasn't faced them this year. Both of his wins this year have come against the Cubs. Current Reds go 53-for-200 (.265) against Roger, and nearly half of those AB's are from Junior. Griffey is 28-for-87 (.322) against Clemens, with seven doubles and six homers. Adam Dunn is 6-for-12 against Roger, while Javier Valentine is only 2-for-16 and Scott Hatteberg is 2-for-17.
Bronson Arroyo (9-6, 2.92) v. Andy Pettitte (8-10, 5.08)
This will be Arroyo's seventh attempt to get his 10th win. He is 3-0 against the Astros in four appearances, and 1-0 this year. He went six innings against the Astros on June 3 and gave up eight hits but no earned runs. Aubrey Huff is 10-for-16 (.625) with four doubles against Arroyo. Biggio is 4-for-12 with a double, Preston Wilson is 3-for-8, and Lamb is 2-for-3. Berkman is 5-for-13 (.385) but none of the hits were for extra bases.
Pettitte is 2-3 overall against the Reds, and 0-2 this year. In 11 innings against the Reds this season, Andy has given up 20 hits and 13 earned runs for an ERA well above 10. Current Reds are 50-for-160 (.313) against Pettitte. Griffey is 16-for-42 (.381) with three doubles and two homers, while Royce Clayton is 9-for-22 (.409). Jason LaRue is 5-for-16, and Arroyo himself is 3-for-3 with 4 RBI. Adam Dunn is 3-for-15, and Rich Aurilia is 2-for-15, though one of Aurilia's hits was a homer.
Elizardo Ramirez (3-6, 4.43) v. Taylor Buchholz (6-8, 5.57)
Ramirez is 0-1 in two appearances against Houston, both of them this year. He's had three starts in July but no decisions. Current Astros are only 8-for-40 (.200) against Ramirez, with homers from Berkman and Ensberg. Brad Ausmus is 4-for-5 against him, and Ensberg is the only other Astro with more than one hit. Burke, Everett, Taveras, and Biggio are a combined 0-for-13 against him.
Buchholz faced Ramirez and the Reds on April 30 and got the win, going 6+ innings and giving up three hits and two earned runs. However, two of those hits came from Austin Kearns, who is now a gNat. Current Reds are only 1-for-16 against Buchholz, with the one hit being a homer from Adam Dunn.
Key injuries:
Cincinnati ? Brandon Claussen, David Ross, Grant Balfour, and Stifler's Mom are all on rehab assignments in the minors. Relievers Matt Belisle and Kent Mercker are out.
Houston ? Lance Berkman is questionable for his series after stripping his ... uh ... gearbox in New York. Jeff Bagwell and Morgan Ensberg are restocking the fridge in the trainer's room in case Berkman spends much time there.
