New Zipper Flap posted...

[Andyzipp]

I don't need to or want to, but I commited to write one...

The Link

[jwhudson]

Nice job.

[Ty in Tampa]

Great work, but it would have been much more noble of you to write it for the Globe or the Times.

[JimR]

excellent

[MikeyBoy]

Andy - Great, as always.

[pravata]

From what I've read, here are the reasons Clemens signed with the Astros,

1. He's evil. It's a widespread contention.

2. He has to be around Koby all the time.  Apparently Roger is Laura from the Glass Menagerie and Koby is as fragile as a glass unicorn.

3. He loves money. Astros offered him a million more than the Red Sox, or >5%[edit] more $$

4. He wants to be in Houston.  Yankees reportedly refused the opt out of games when he's not pitching clause.

5. He is unfamilar with the Baseball Traditions of the East Coast

6. He's afraid of AL hitters.

What is not being argued, except by Clemens and Purpura

1. The addition of Clemens gives the Astros a distinct possibility of having the best rotation in the NL

2. The addition of Clemens gives the Astros a chance to compete in the post season.  Apparently a certainty is all that is permissable.

As for Pinwheel, he's now calling himself shrewd because he "predicted" the part where Clemens signs with the Astros, but allows that he got the date wrong.  Of course his "prediction" was a bold one, not the least reason being that he predicted both outcomes, As Zipp mentions, but he was apparently in a minority that only included, "...several baseball executives" (who had) "long believed this was a one-team race." The Link Joe Torre "I'm not at all surprised," The Link and Derek Jeter "I thought he would (stay in Houston)," The Link

[No? in Austin]

Pinwheel said on national television that Clemens was going to sign with the Yankees because they whispered sweet nothings into his ear everyday and the Astros did not.  In fact, the Astros gave Clemens the backhand when they didn't offer arbitration, so they were seriously in doubt as the chalk pick.

This, by the way, is the sort of in-depth analysis of the situation that Pinwheel shared with his media friends who took that and ran with it.  Even Tracy Rigolsby decided it had merit.

[pravata]

Quote:
Pinwheel said on national television that Clemens was going to sign with the Yankees because they whispered sweet nothings into his ear everyday and the Astros did not.  In fact, the Astros gave Clemens the backhand when they didn't offer arbitration, so they were seriously in doubt as the chalk pick.

This, by the way, is the sort of in-depth analysis of the situation that Pinwheel shared with his media friends who took that and ran with it.  Even Tracy Rigolsby decided it had merit.

Anybody have handy where Pinwheel says the Astros made a mistake not offering arb?  As for the Rigolsby article, in case someone forgot or missed it, Link The answer to his article is Yes. Right.

[homer]

Quote:

Quote:
Pinwheel said on national television that Clemens was going to sign with the Yankees because they whispered sweet nothings into his ear everyday and the Astros did not.  In fact, the Astros gave Clemens the backhand when they didn't offer arbitration, so they were seriously in doubt as the chalk pick.

This, by the way, is the sort of in-depth analysis of the situation that Pinwheel shared with his media friends who took that and ran with it.  Even Tracy Rigolsby decided it had merit.

Anybody have handy where Pinwheel says the Astros made a mistake not offering arb?  As for the Rigolsby article, in case someone forgot or missed it, Link The answer to his article is Yes. Right.

He still hasn't corrected the Ryan mistake. There was a correction at the top at one time, at least briefly.

[Lefty]

"Jason Lane couldn't hit a hooker if he used a pimp to do it."

Outstanding.

[Andyzipp]

prav,

that would be here: The Link

followed the next day by: The Link

[pravata]

Quote:
prav,

that would be here: The Link

followed the next day by: The Link

Beauty, here's the money quotes,

12/8/05
McLane held out the possibility that Clemens will return to the Astros when rules allow in May. I doubt it. I'm convinced once the Yankees start romancing him over the next few days, he'll either sign or retire.

12/9/05
Why so cynical? When Clemens returned home to pitch for the local baseball team two years ago, it was as sweet a sports story as our city has had.
And that story isn't going to end the wrong way. Clemens isn't going to pitch for the Yankees, Red Sox, Rangers or Mets. He's going to pitch for the Astros, or he's not going to pitch. And he's going to pitch for the Astros.

Really, there is no need to read any other columnist except for Pinwheel Justice, sooner or later, you'll see every opinion possible expressed in one of his articles.

[strosrays]

Very nice.

It's been awhile since I've seen the Tanya 'n' Commander Cinque--Clemens--Horshack Axis commented on in print, good work.  In fact, I am assuming some sort of hallucinigen was ingested prior to the composition of this piece.  If not, perhaps we can begin to now?  Might I suggest psylocibin mushrooms?  Or even better, peyote buttons, which I believe is the real reason Moises Alou pees on his hands (long story.)

BTW, I think Ron Palillo is doing regional theatre now.  I am pretty sure I heard he is currently portraying Edmund in Long Day's Journey Into Night, somewhere in rural New Jersey.

I don't know if that'll really work, actually.  I once saw Gary Burghoff as Amos Bellamy in a dinner theater production of The Fantasticks, and even on top of an excellent standing rib roast, "Radar" really couldn't pull it off.  I think all those appearances as a panelist on The Match Game were just too much to overcome.

[pravata]

Quote:

Quote:

Quote:
Pinwheel said on national television that Clemens was going to sign with the Yankees because they whispered sweet nothings into his ear everyday and the Astros did not.  In fact, the Astros gave Clemens the backhand when they didn't offer arbitration, so they were seriously in doubt as the chalk pick.

This, by the way, is the sort of in-depth analysis of the situation that Pinwheel shared with his media friends who took that and ran with it.  Even Tracy Rigolsby decided it had merit.

Anybody have handy where Pinwheel says the Astros made a mistake not offering arb?  As for the Rigolsby article, in case someone forgot or missed it, Link The answer to his article is Yes. Right.

He still hasn't corrected the Ryan mistake. There was a correction at the top at one time, at least briefly.

Can't tell if Ringolsby was whistling and looking the other way when he typed this, The Link

[homer]

Quote:

Can't tell if Ringolsby was whistling and looking the other way when he typed this, The Link

 

Quote:
his adopted hometown, Houston,  

 

Quote:
But the decision came down to his home now being in Houston.

WTF is he talking about? I think he needs a better fact checker.

[Ty in Tampa]

He is from Ohio, you know.

[homer]

Quote:
He is from Ohio, you know.

I guess I didn't know. From Ohio as in born there but didn't stay long? Or he lived there and is a transplant? (I guess I need a better fact checker...)

ETA: Born there but raised in Houston. Its a stretch to call Houston an adopted hometown... or saying that it is 'now' his hometown...

[Ty in Tampa]

Born and didn't stay long. 3 years. Long enough for Dayton to be his hometown, though. Semantics, but factually correct.

[pravata]

Quote:

Quote:
prav,

that would be here: The Link

followed the next day by: The Link

Beauty, here's the money quotes,

12/8/05
McLane held out the possibility that Clemens will return to the Astros when rules allow in May. I doubt it. I'm convinced once the Yankees start romancing him over the next few days, he'll either sign or retire.

12/9/05
Why so cynical? When Clemens returned home to pitch for the local baseball team two years ago, it was as sweet a sports story as our city has had.
And that story isn't going to end the wrong way. Clemens isn't going to pitch for the Yankees, Red Sox, Rangers or Mets. He's going to pitch for the Astros, or he's not going to pitch. And he's going to pitch for the Astros.

Really, there is no need to read any other columnist except for Pinwheel Justice, sooner or later, you'll see every opinion possible expressed in one of his articles.

More on Pinwheels "beautiful mind" Here's the ending of one of his mastubato...imaginary conversations, posted April 16, 2006, 11:43PM, it ends

"OK, Roger, I'm getting off the phone. But you haven't heard the last of me. I'm calling at 12:01 a.m. on May 1.

You do that, Drayton. Don't count on me being home."
The Link

Counting his blog crowing about predicting Clemens would sign,

"You've got to be pretty shrewd to make a call like this one six months in advance. Harumph. Blush. Cough.
Oh, all right, so I missed by 20 days when I predicted last December that the Rocket would return to the Astros on June 2." The Link

that's a quadruple somersault, with a wobbly landing.