Astros Offseason Baffles Everyone

[Biggio]

As you all know, each year the stros never make any moves in the offseason. but, at the end of the season we still seem to make the playoffs. Good thing we have a great farm club.  Why do you guys think we never make any big moves in the offseason?

[LonghornCDR]

I'm sorry, but I missed the meteoric rise of Jeff Kent, Andy Pettitte, Roger Clemens, and Preston Wilson through the Astros' "great farm club."  

I find that this formula for posting works well on this board:

1. Read.
2. Read.
3. Read.
4. Think about what you read.
5. Think about what you might have to add to the discussion.
6. Write a post. But don't submit it yet.
7. Reread your post and ask yourself if it makes any sense.
8. Finally... after all this,  maybe  hit the submit button.

After following these steps, I find that about 5% of posts that start in my head make it to the board.

[Dobro]

Quote:
I'm sorry, but I missed the meteoric rise of Jeff Kent, Andy Pettitte, Roger Clemens, and Preston Wilson through the Astros' "great farm club."  

I find that this formula for posting works well on this board:

1. Read.
2. Read.
3. Read.
4. Think about what you read.
5. Think about what you might have to add to the discussion.
6. Write a post. But don't submit it yet.
7. Reread your post and ask yourself if it makes any sense.
8. Finally... after all this,  maybe  hit the submit button.

After following these steps, I find that about 5% of posts that start in my head make it to the board.

Hook, line, and sinker...

[The Gaffer]

Bit of a hasrh reply.

Wilson was not exactly a marquee free agent although if he keeps things going he could be a bargain. Last year we picked up nobody special.

Great welcome you wankers give to newbies round here.

Asshole.

[MRaup]

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Bit of a hasrh reply.

Wilson was not exactly a marquee free agent although if he keeps things going he could be a bargain. Last year we picked up nobody special.

Great welcome you wankers give to newbies round here.

Asshole.

Go Clark yourself, champ.

[drew corleone]

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Bit of a hasrh reply.

Wilson was not exactly a marquee free agent although if he keeps things going he could be a bargain. Last year we picked up nobody special.

Great welcome you wankers give to newbies round here.

Asshole.

 I got a decent enough welcome when I joined a few years back, but then I didn't make an asinine statement in my first thread.

Is the purpose of this site to welcome newbies or to have semi-intelligent discussions about the Astros?

[astro pete]

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Last year we picked up nobody special.

Well, they couldn't force Kent or Beltran to re-sign.

[JimR]

fuck off, Gaffer.

[Foghorn]

There's nothing wrong in the newbie's initial question, and there was nothing wrong in the response.  

Dumb questions are welcomed.  Smart ass answers are encouraged.  Bitching about being called out is NEVER allowed.

We should hang a sign which reads "No Pussies--this means you".

[mihoba]

And retire Bidge and Bags user names, hang'em on the wall, so to speak.

[LonghornCDR]

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And retire Bidge and Bags user names, hang'em on the wall, so to speak.

Ab-so-frickin-lutely.  That's probably what bothered me most about the post to begin with.

[Limey]

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I'm sorry, but I missed the meteoric rise of Jeff Kent, Andy Pettitte, Roger Clemens, and Preston Wilson through the Astros' "great farm club."  

I find that this formula for posting works well on this board:

1. Read.
2. Read.
3. Read.
4. Think about what you read.
5. Think about what you might have to add to the discussion.
6. Write a post. But don't submit it yet.
7. Reread your post and ask yourself if it makes any sense.
8. Finally... after all this,  maybe  hit the submit button.

After following these steps, I find that about 5% of posts that start in my head make it to the board.

Might I suggest that something along these lines, perhaps with Foghorn's "no pussies" rider, be added to the TZ manifesto.  Not that anyone is going to read it first, but at least we can point to it inbetween punches.

[MusicMan]

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And retire Bidge and Bags user names, hang'em on the wall, so to speak.

I know I'm tugging on Superman's cape, spitting into the wind, and messign with Bad Leroy Brown all at once...

... but how the hell did that username get approved in the first place?

[LonghornCDR]

I'm a fan of "Kent's Moustache" and "Doran's Mullet".  Heck, I'd be OK with "Biggio's Body Armor."  But taking the name of an iconic player as a username is just plain wrong.

[Limey]

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I'm a fan of "Kent's Moustache" and "Doran's Mullet".  Heck, I'd be OK with "Biggio's Body Armor."  But taking the name of an iconic player as a username is just plain wrong.

Especially when your true purpose of being here is to trawl for a fantasy league and online vid-game players.

[pravata]

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I'm sorry, but I missed the meteoric rise of Jeff Kent, Andy Pettitte, Roger Clemens, and Preston Wilson through the Astros' "great farm club."  

I find that this formula for posting works well on this board:

1. Read.
2. Read.
3. Read.
4. Think about what you read.
5. Think about what you might have to add to the discussion.
6. Write a post. But don't submit it yet.
7. Reread your post and ask yourself if it makes any sense.
8. Finally... after all this,  maybe  hit the submit button.

After following these steps, I find that about 5% of posts that start in my head make it to the board.

Might I suggest that something along these lines, perhaps with Foghorn's "no pussies" rider, be added to the TZ manifesto.  Not that anyone is going to read it first, but at least we can point to it inbetween punches.

Retroactive?  That's going to cause quite a dent in the current subscribers.

[pravata]

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As you all know, each year the stros never make any moves in the offseason. but, at the end of the season we still seem to make the playoffs. Good thing we have a great farm club.  Why do you guys think we never make any big moves in the offseason?

Ken Caminiti, Jeff Kent, Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte.  Preston Wilson leads the NL in homeruns at this point.  Is  the trade of Mike Hampton considered a big move?  By the way, you think they planned the whole farm club thing?

[LonghornCDR]

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Bit of a hasrh reply.

Wilson was not exactly a marquee free agent although if he keeps things going he could be a bargain. Last year we picked up nobody special.

Great welcome you wankers give to newbies round here.

Asshole.

You know... Viz ('00 signing) and OP ('04 signing) weren't marquee free agent moves, and Mike Lamb ('05 trade) wasn't a marquee trade, but I doubt anyone would question their value as key parts of the '05 NL Champs.

Point is... the answer to a roster hole isn't always a "marquee" name.

[pravata]

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Bit of a hasrh reply.

Wilson was not exactly a marquee free agent although if he keeps things going he could be a bargain. Last year we picked up nobody special.

Great welcome you wankers give to newbies round here.

Asshole.

You know... Viz ('00 signing) and OP ('04 signing) weren't marquee free agent moves, and Mike Lamb ('05 trade) wasn't a marquee trade, but I doubt anyone would question their value as key parts of the '05 NL Champs.

Point is... the answer to a roster hole isn't always a "marquee" name.

See for instance Venezuela, Puerto Rico, US, and Dominican Republic in the WBC.

Here's Purpura's answer,

"This winter, we felt the quality that we wanted wasn't out there, not the kind of quality that we would be willing to extend our resources on. We just felt like what was available, especially on the pitching side, was overpriced. The quality should be better and our flexibility will be better next winter."

Besides, they also signed Ausmus this offseason.  Ausmus is a name.

[Astroholic]

And how will young players (Nieve, Buchholz, etc) become marquee players if they are not givin' a chance due to management bringing in other marquee players?

[No? in Austin]

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Why do you guys think we never make any big moves in the offseason?

You're wanting us to say "Because Drayton McLane is cheap", aren't you?  Line forms to left of posters who tried similar approaches to have us sing from the same hallelujah hymnal of McScrooge.  Heck, it's even become a source of a ton of amusement, not to mention speculation of what christmas presents have to go without in the McLane household in order to sign that young Mr. Beltran, or Mr. Kent, or Mr. A-Rod (yeah, it's come up a few times).

But overall, I liked your semi-direct approach.  At least it won't take five or six post of give and take and backpeddling (IMHO) to get you to say you think McLane is cheap and a bad owner.  Ahum... I'm guessing, just call it a TZ experienced hunch.

[No? in Austin]

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Last year we picked up nobody special.

Well, they couldn't force Kent or Beltran to re-sign.

I'm thinking the "gun to head" approach was denied the owners at the last collective bargaining agreement negotiation.  Damn you MLBPA, damn you to heck!

[Astroholic]

How can anyone say Drayton is cheap when he currently has a payroll of 85+ million and if/when they sign Clemens (big Marquee free agent signing) it will be over 100 M.  If the idiots on 610 are correct, that will put the stros in the top 4.

[No? in Austin]

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And retire Bidge and Bags user names, hang'em on the wall, so to speak.

I know I'm tugging on Superman's cape, spitting into the wind, and messign with Bad Leroy Brown all at once...

... but how the hell did that username get approved in the first place?

Software glich... or moreso, an acceptance of usernames by rote in the registration.  We kind of figured most folks would be creative in picking a name that we didn't have to review every single one of them.  I remember someone using "Bob Crane's Dong" as a nic and having us scramble to deny any use of the name or deritive thereafter (because the little bastard kept trying to change up vowels, use numerics instead of alphas, change the structure of the phrase, etc... damn little a-hole was a demonically possessed registrant too!).

So in essence, since that episode two years ago, we've never had to monitor a nic before and I don't think we will after today either.  I'm guessing the registrant is a bit young, maybe pre-teen to teen, who saw no problem using Biggio as a nic.  For now, we'll just have to let it stand until we make up our minds on the matter... like ask the person if they won't mind an alternative, like Bidge's Helmet... or something like that.

[No? in Austin]

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How can anyone say Drayton is cheap when he currently has a payroll of 85+ million and if/when they sign Clemens (big Marquee free agent signing) it will be over 100 M.  If the idiots on 610 are correct, that will put the stros in the top 4.

Listen to the callers of said show for your answer.  Uncle Draytie callers are the best of the worse, iffin' you know what I mean.

[Biggio]

wow i came to this message board looking to find some mature people. but i see this is just another board that everyone trys to prove everyone wrong in their childish attempt to feel like a man. but, if that makes you feel good about yourself...go for it

[pravata]

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How can anyone say Drayton is cheap when he currently has a payroll of 85+ million and if/when they sign Clemens (big Marquee free agent signing) it will be over 100 M.  If the idiots on 610 are correct, that will put the stros in the top 4.

Currently the Astros payroll is 8th, and they have 3 of the highest paid (counting Bagwell) players in the majors see The Link

[homer]

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wow i came to this message board looking to find some mature people. but i see this is just another board that everyone trys to prove everyone wrong in their childish attempt to feel like a man. but, if that makes you feel good about yourself...go for it

Does that mean you are leaving? Can the admins remove your username?

[No? in Austin]

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wow i came to this message board looking to find some mature people. but i see this is just another board that everyone trys to prove everyone wrong in their childish attempt to feel like a man. but, if that makes you feel good about yourself...go for it

So, why do you think the Astros fail to sign marquee players (more than a handful?) each off-season?

[HudsonHawk]

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wow i came to this message board looking to find some mature people. but i see this is just another board that everyone trys to prove everyone wrong in their childish attempt to feel like a man. but, if that makes you feel good about yourself...go for it

Friendly advice:  The martyr card plays less successfully than the IQ card.  You want discussion about the Astros, stick around.  But you're going to have to come up with something other than the demonstrably false idea that the Astros have night signed any free agents the last few offseason.

[Biggio]

Quote:
I'm sorry, but I missed the meteoric rise of Jeff Kent, Andy Pettitte, Roger Clemens, and Preston Wilson through the Astros' "great farm club."  

I find that this formula for posting works well on this board:

1. Read.
2. Read.
3. Read.
4. Think about what you read.
5. Think about what you might have to add to the discussion.
6. Write a post. But don't submit it yet.
7. Reread your post and ask yourself if it makes any sense.
8. Finally... after all this,  maybe  hit the submit button.

After following these steps, I find that about 5% of posts that start in my head make it to the board.

If you have time to post a reply like this then maybe it's time to turn off your PC and move on with your life. Maybe go find a girl friend, go on a date....see what happens.  if you feel my comment is wrong, simply state why. being mature really isn't that hard.  all im simply saying is that the astros don't sign any big names very often. and if they do, they never stay around for very long.  astros offseason is very slow when your checking out the transactions on astros.com

[Arky Vaughan]

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As you all know, each year the stros never make any moves in the offseason. but, at the end of the season we still seem to make the playoffs. Good thing we have a great farm club.  Why do you guys think we never make any big moves in the offseason?

I disagree with your premise. Before the 2004 season, the Astros signed Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte. Before the 2003 season, they signed Jeff Kent. Why do you claim the Astros never make any moves in the offseason?

[MusicMan]

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i see this is just another board that everyone trys to prove everyone wrong in their childish attempt to feel like a man.

No, you've found a place where people don't take the Family Feud "good answer!" approach when others spout BS.

If your original position weree supportable at all, you'd be making your case instead of sucking your thumb.

[Biggio]

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wow i came to this message board looking to find some mature people. but i see this is just another board that everyone trys to prove everyone wrong in their childish attempt to feel like a man. but, if that makes you feel good about yourself...go for it

So, why do you think the Astros fail to sign marquee players (more than a handful?) each off-season?

i'm not really sure, doesn't seem like the astros like to spending big money and go sign some of those franchise players. i do admit they tried with Carlos Beltran...did he leave for New York for merly 7 more million?

[No? in Austin]

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If your original position were supportable at all, you'd be making your case instead of sucking your thumb.

Hence, why I'd like to hear the *reason* our friend thinks the failure in the off-season by the Astros occurs regularily.  Count it as "I dunno, what do you think?" as my final answer!

[No? in Austin]

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wow i came to this message board looking to find some mature people. but i see this is just another board that everyone trys to prove everyone wrong in their childish attempt to feel like a man. but, if that makes you feel good about yourself...go for it

So, why do you think the Astros fail to sign marquee players (more than a handful?) each off-season?

i'm not really sure, doesn't seem like the astros like to spending big money and go sign some of those franchise players. i do admit they tried with Carlos Beltran...did he leave for New York for merly 7 more million?

How big is "big"?

[Biggio]

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wow i came to this message board looking to find some mature people. but i see this is just another board that everyone trys to prove everyone wrong in their childish attempt to feel like a man. but, if that makes you feel good about yourself...go for it

Friendly advice:  The martyr card plays less successfully than the IQ card.  You want discussion about the Astros, stick around.  But you're going to have to come up with something other than the demonstrably false idea that the Astros have night signed any free agents the last few offseason.

well you guys say i'm wrong..and u bring up roger, andy, kent..... well these 2 pitchers are great, but there old...not franchise players anymore. and kent, we failed to keep im around. the point of the thread was franchise players.

[MusicMan]

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doesn't seem like the astros like to spending big money and go sign some of those franchise players.

Jeff Kent
Andy Pettitte
Roger Clemens

You have no case.

[Arky Vaughan]

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If you have time to post a reply like this then maybe it's time to turn off your PC and move on with your life. Maybe go find a girl friend, go on a date....see what happens.  if you feel my comment is wrong, simply state why. being mature really isn't that hard.  all im simply saying is that the astros don't sign any big names very often. and if they do, they never stay around for very long.  astros offseason is very slow when your checking out the transactions on astros.com

Your premise is wrong, for the reasons stated in my previous post.  Your comment about Astros offseason moves is provably false.

P.S. It might not be such a good idea to lecture others on posting etiquette, particularly given that you've been here only a few hours.

[JimR]

there was no point to your post. there is no such thing as a "franchise player."

change your user name, please.

[No? in Austin]

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wow i came to this message board looking to find some mature people. but i see this is just another board that everyone trys to prove everyone wrong in their childish attempt to feel like a man. but, if that makes you feel good about yourself...go for it

Friendly advice:  The martyr card plays less successfully than the IQ card.  You want discussion about the Astros, stick around.  But you're going to have to come up with something other than the demonstrably false idea that the Astros have night signed any free agents the last few offseason.

well you guys some i'm wrong..and u bring up roger, andy, kent..... well these 2 pitchers are great, but there old...not franchise players anymore. and kent, we failed to keep im around. the point of the thread was franchise players.

How big is "big" and what does "franchise" mean? (oh, and don't use text messaging type of approach here, it doesn't go over very well... unless you're text messaging us from your phone).

[Biggio]

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doesn't seem like the astros like to spending big money and go sign some of those franchise players.

Jeff Kent
Andy Pettitte
Roger Clemens

You have no case.

i already pleeded my case about these three players

[pravata]

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i see this is just another board that everyone trys to prove everyone wrong in their childish attempt to feel like a man.

No, you've found a place where people don't take the Family Feud "good answer!" approach when others spout BS.

If your original position weree supportable at all, you'd be making your case instead of sucking your thumb.

Listening to Palillo, humor me, guy calls in, "why do the Astros continue to put this Qualls in crucial situations?"  Palillo gives him a pass, "well he's been good in spots" because he needs listeners.   Possible this is what this person is accustomed to.

[MusicMan]

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wow i came to this message board looking to find some mature people. but i see this is just another board that everyone trys to prove everyone wrong in their childish attempt to feel like a man. but, if that makes you feel good about yourself...go for it

Friendly advice:  The martyr card plays less successfully than the IQ card.  You want discussion about the Astros, stick around.  But you're going to have to come up with something other than the demonstrably false idea that the Astros have night signed any free agents the last few offseason.

well you guys say i'm wrong..and u bring up roger, andy, kent..... well these 2 pitchers are great, but there old...not franchise players anymore. and kent, we failed to keep im around. the point of the thread was franchise players.

"Not franchise players anymore"?

I get it... you're joking.  This must be a joke.  You can't seriously be this stupid.

How long do you have to keep it up before you win your bet?

[Limey]

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For now, we'll just have to let it stand until we make up our minds on the matter... like ask the person if they won't mind an alternative, like Bidge's Helmet... or something like that.

Maybe your demonically possessed registrant should've used "Bob Crane's Helmet".

[No? in Austin]

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doesn't seem like the astros like to spending big money and go sign some of those franchise players.

Jeff Kent
Andy Pettitte
Roger Clemens

You have no case.

i already pleeded my case about these three players

So, how big is "big" (as in "big money")? What does "franchise" mean (as in "franchise players"? *AND* who are these guys in the MLB?

Thanks, I'll hang up and listen...

[pravata]

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wow i came to this message board looking to find some mature people. but i see this is just another board that everyone trys to prove everyone wrong in their childish attempt to feel like a man. but, if that makes you feel good about yourself...go for it

Friendly advice:  The martyr card plays less successfully than the IQ card.  You want discussion about the Astros, stick around.  But you're going to have to come up with something other than the demonstrably false idea that the Astros have night signed any free agents the last few offseason.

well you guys say i'm wrong..and u bring up roger, andy, kent..... well these 2 pitchers are great, but there old...not franchise players anymore. and kent, we failed to keep im around. the point of the thread was franchise players.

"Not franchise players anymore"?

I get it... you're joking.  This must be a joke.  You can't seriously be this stupid.

How long do you have to keep it up before you win your bet?

Hey, they still got Bagwell.  He's a franchise player.

[No? in Austin]

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For now, we'll just have to let it stand until we make up our minds on the matter... like ask the person if they won't mind an alternative, like Bidge's Helmet... or something like that.

Maybe your demonically possessed registrant should've used "Bob Crane's Helmet".

See, that is creative and not just stupid... like the little bastard turn out to be when discovered.

[Lefty]

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i'm not really sure, doesn't seem like the astros like to spending big money and go sign some of those franchise players. i do admit they tried with Carlos Beltran...did he leave for New York for merly 7 more million?

If you consider the recent deals signed by Berkman & Pettite - top 15 contracts btw - as "not lik[ing] to spend big money", I just don't know what to tell you.  You apparently also slept through the entire Beltran situation.

This is not a snarky reply, and I'm trying to help ya out here:  if you want to have an informed opinion (and thus initiate an informed debate) you're gonna have to become more informed.

[homer]

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doesn't seem like the astros like to spending big money and go sign some of those franchise players.

Jeff Kent
Andy Pettitte
Roger Clemens

You have no case.

i already pleeded my case about these three players

So, how big is "big" (as in "big money")? What does "franchise" mean (as in "franchise players"? *AND* who are these guys in the MLB?

Thanks, I'll hang up and listen...

Furthermore, who would you have picked up and where would they have played?

[Biggio]

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there was no point to your post. there is no such thing as a "franchise player."

change your user name, please.

LOL wow.

I'm out of this forum. All you guys have done is attack me from the very first post.  If you thought I was wrong you guys could have approached it in a mature manor. But, I see that's not the case here. You guys enjoying talking to the same exact people all season long.

If you guys keep welcoming fans like this, you won't have many people stay around. Have fun talking to yourself.

[JimR]

fuck off...oh, he did.

fastest trip through the stages of a troll ever.

[Limey]

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well you guys say i'm wrong..and u bring up roger, andy, kent..... well these 2 pitchers are great, but there old...not franchise players anymore. and kent, we failed to keep im around. the point of the thread was franchise players.

So, excluding the big name, free agent, off-season pick-ups the Astros have made, they never make any big name, free agent, off-season pick-ups.  Have I summarised correctly?

[MusicMan]

The only conclusions I can make from his ramblings are:

1.  The Astros are unwilling to spend for "Franchise players".
2.  Pitchers cannot be "franchise players".
3.  "Old" players cannot be "franchise players".
4.  If a player leaves, then he was never really with the team.
5.  All of us are mean.

Am I missing anything?

[pravata]

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there was no point to your post. there is no such thing as a "franchise player."

change your user name, please.

LOL wow.

I'm out of this forum. All you guys have done is attack me from the very first post.  If you thought I was wrong you guys could have approached it in a mature manor. But, I see that's not the case here. You guys enjoying talking to the same exact people all season long.

If you guys keep welcoming fans like this, you won't have many people stay around. Have fun talking to yourself.

749 Registered User(s) as of 4/12/2006.  Lets say that only 10% of those post on a regular basis, that'd be more than enough sport.

[No? in Austin]

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there was no point to your post. there is no such thing as a "franchise player."

change your user name, please.

LOL wow.

I'm out of this forum. All you guys have done is attack me from the very first post.  If you thought I was wrong you guys could have approached it in a mature manor. But, I see that's not the case here. You guys enjoying talking to the same exact people all season long.

If you guys keep welcoming fans like this, you won't have many people stay around. Have fun talking to yourself.

I'm not attacking you, I'm asking questions:

How big is "big" (as in "big money")?  100 million?  200 million? 10 million? What?

What does "franchise" mean?  Guys under the age of 30?  Guys who get five to six year contract?  What?

Who are these "franchise" players?  Guys like Oswalt and Berkman perhaps?

[Limey]

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Have fun talking to yourself.

Better than talking to you, fuckwit.

[Limey]

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What does "franchise" mean?  Guys under the age of 30?  Guys who get five to six year contract?  What?

Next he'll be protesting that that the Astros' never used the "Larry Bird exemption" to keep Beltran.

[Arky Vaughan]

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well you guys say i'm wrong..and u bring up roger, andy, kent..... well these 2 pitchers are great, but there old...not franchise players anymore. and kent, we failed to keep im around. the point of the thread was franchise players.

Old? Pettitte turns 34 in June. And regardless of age, Clemens was absolutely essential to the Astros' success in 2004, Clemens and Pettitte were both critical to winning the pennant in 2005, and Petttitte (and Clemens if he returns) must play a significant role if the Astros are to contend again in 2006. The idea that these were not big signings is wholly unfounded. Ask Yankees fans whether they thought losing both Pettitte and Clemens to the Astros was insignificant.

The Astros kept Kent the two years his contract required and tried to negotiate with him rather than pick up his option. This was so the Astros would have the money to make the big offseason move of re-signing Beltran before the 2005 season. Beltran left because he wanted to play in New York and got more money to go there. There was lot more going on than $7 million. Kent left because the Dodgers offered him more money. But if you want to talk about age, Kent is now 38. So by your logic, even if he'd stayed, you'd write him off as old just to support your otherwise unsupported point.

Maybe the Astros haven't signed "franchse players" -- whatever that means -- because they already have one of the best pitchers in baseball to build a team around -- Roy Oswalt -- and one of the best hitters in baseball to build a team around -- Lance Berkman. If you're looking for big offseason moves, how about the contracts they both got last offseason? Berkman is signed through 2010. The Astros need to get a deal done with Oswalt to lock him in longer, but it's not obvious that Oswalt wants to sign a contract like that.

Your premise fundamentally overlooks lots of things that have been discussed at great length on this site the last few years. I realize you're new and weren't around for those conversations, but you're not going to get a kind reply for your posts when you make faulty assumptions and overlook obvious facts. Just looking at transactions on Astros.com isn't a good way to frame a thread.

Try to be responsive to the arguments on the merits in reply to your posts, and you'll find the debate more fruitful.

[pravata]

Yeah, and another thing, never start a post with "As you all know,..." You haven't the vaguest notion of what we all know.

[No? in Austin]

Quote:
The only conclusions I can make from his ramblings are:

1.  The Astros are unwilling to spend for "Franchise players".
2.  Pitchers cannot be "franchise players".
3.  "Old" players cannot be "franchise players".
4.  If a player leaves, then he was never really with the team.
5.  All of us are mean.

Am I missing anything?

Okay, he/she/it never answered, so we're left to ponder this mystery.  However, if we apply scientific reasoning to the cave scratching of said poster (as opposed to the regular ol' TZer cave etching of perhaps more refinement, but still cave drawings none the less), we could come up with this theory:

1. "Big Money" - something that the Astros cannot spend because they will never cross that mystic portal.  That line in the sand is evolving too, because if they spend 20 million bones on a player (free agent or to keep a player from filing free agency), the "Big Money" line automatically moves to 21 million.  That is the only conclusion we can come up with right now, so that is the logic behind that one.

2. "Franchise Players" - It is anyone who does not play or pitch for the Astros.  Period.  If they do, then they're not francheesey enough.  Somehow the donning of a blood and mud uni removes all fanchisement or at least dulls it during the Astros tenure.  Removal of the Blood and Mud uni will allow the player to regenerate his franchise status, but only then, not prior to that.

3. "Old" - anyone on the Astros.

Occum's razor, eat your heart out!

[Arky Vaughan]

Quote:
Yeah, and another thing, never start a post with "As you all know,..." You haven't the vaguest notion of what we all know.

Heck, I'm not sure we all have the vaguest notion of what we all know.

[No? in Austin]

Quote:

Quote:
Yeah, and another thing, never start a post with "As you all know,..." You haven't the vaguest notion of what we all know.

Heck, I'm not sure we all have the vaguest notion of what we all know.

Somehow, I feel a Donald Rumsfeld re-set posting is just around the corner!

[davek]

Quote:
there is no such thing as a "franchise player."

And there is especially no such thing as a "franchise player" named Beltran...

Astros fans should be eternally grateful that Uncle Draytie let that one go for want of 'merely 7 million'...

[No? in Austin]

Quote:

Quote:
there is no such thing as a "franchise player."

And there is especially no such thing as a "franchise player" named Beltran...

Astros fans should be eternally grateful that Uncle Draytie let that one go for want of 'merely 7 million'...

And a Boras sand line of a "no-trade" clause too!

[HurricaneDavid]

Quote:
Somehow, I feel a Donald Rumsfeld re-set posting is just around the corner!

Listening to it is so much better than reading it.

The MP3

[Limey]

Quote:
Yeah, and another thing, never start a post with "As you all know,..." You haven't the vaguest notion of what we all know.

You don't even have to get into the post.  Just look at the subject line.

[pravata]

Quote:

Quote:
Yeah, and another thing, never start a post with "As you all know,..." You haven't the vaguest notion of what we all know.

You don't even have to get into the post.  Just look at the subject line.

Well after puzzling through yesterday about what people consider "communicating", I thought maybe he had misplaced an umlaut and really meant to post "Small horse farms are good investments".

[davek]

But the REALLY fun part is where we get to pummel him for 3 days after he's left the forum...

[Limey]

Quote:
But the REALLY fun part is where we get to pummel him for 3 days after he's left the forum...

It's just to prove that he's actually left.  Not lurking in the miasma, reading what we say about him and typing with one hand.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Quote:
wow i came to this message board looking to find some mature people.

This here is where people come to talk about baseball, not look for mature people. You mis-typed or something. Hope this helps: The Link  ...or this maybe: The Link

[HudsonHawk]

Quote:
all im simply saying is that the astros don't sign any big names very often. and if they do, they never stay around for very long.

No, you didn't.  You said:

"each year the stros never make any moves in the offseason."

The backpeddling has begun.

[Astroholic]

Aren't these type of post suppose to take place when the stros are 15-30 not 5-2?  If I am not mistaking, the stros went to the "WORLD SERIES" last year.  Say it to yourself the FREAKING WORLD SERIES!  Where were the big bad Yankmees and their 200 million dollar payroll?

[strosrays]

Quote:
wow i came to this message board looking to find some mature people...

Just Google "mature", I am sure you will find a site that suits you.

[Texifornia]

Quote:

Quote:
The only conclusions I can make from his ramblings are:

1.  The Astros are unwilling to spend for "Franchise players".
2.  Pitchers cannot be "franchise players".
3.  "Old" players cannot be "franchise players".
4.  If a player leaves, then he was never really with the team.
5.  All of us are mean.

Am I missing anything?

Okay, he/she/it never answered, so we're left to ponder this mystery.  However, if we apply scientific reasoning to the cave scratching of said poster (as opposed to the regular ol' TZer cave etching of perhaps more refinement, but still cave drawings none the less), we could come up with this theory:

1. "Big Money" - something that the Astros cannot spend because they will never cross that mystic portal.  That line in the sand is evolving too, because if they spend 20 million bones on a player (free agent or to keep a player from filing free agency), the "Big Money" line automatically moves to 21 million.  That is the only conclusion we can come up with right now, so that is the logic behind that one.

2. "Franchise Players" - It is anyone who does not play or pitch for the Astros.  Period.  If they do, then they're not francheesey enough.  Somehow the donning of a blood and mud uni removes all fanchisement or at least dulls it during the Astros tenure.  Removal of the Blood and Mud uni will allow the player to regenerate his franchise status, but only then, not prior to that.

3. "Old" - anyone on the Astros.

Occum's razor, eat your heart out!

I hereby award you a very strong golf clap.

I especially liked the razor thing.

Sort of like...
The Tao of Stupid

[JaneDoe]

Excellent. But he may fit in better    Here or  Here

[ASTROCREEP]

Dear Biggio,

Please, please come back, you're portrayal, of a Clark poster who believes he knows what he is talking about,
but is completely clueless, was absolutely brilliant. The
way you continued to defend your opinion in the hope that
someone, ONE person would take your side, was the icing on the cake of one of the most clever and entertaining series of posts I've read in quite some time. THEN you introduce you ability to portray dual roles as this HED guy! Bravo! Bravo!

[Bench]

Quote:
Dear Biggio,

Please, please come back, you're portrayal, of a Clark poster who believes he knows what he is talking about,
but is completely clueless, was absolutely brilliant. The
way you continued to defend your opinion in the hope that
someone, ONE person would take your side, was the icing on the cake of one of the most clever and entertaining series of posts I've read in quite some time. THEN you introduce you ability to portray dual roles as this HED guy! Bravo! Bravo!

I loved his sign off as hed, after he announced he had to go to baseball practice:

"Take care, cya"

I actually laughed out loud when I read that.

[The Gaffer]

Fucking bunch of losers on this forum. A few cunts with nothing better to do than spend their sad empty lives on an internet forum acting the tough guy.


So anyone with a clark status knows nothing according to you fags. How sad to see you have come to using post count to measure knowledge.

Maybe we should all get our dicks out and start measuring them.

This place is a fucking disgrace.

[strosrays]

Quote:
Fucking bunch of losers on this forum. A few cunts with nothing better to do than spend their sad empty lives on an internet forum acting the tough guy.


So anyone with a clark status knows nothing according to you fags. How sad to see you have come to using post count to measure knowledge.

Maybe we should all get our dicks out and start measuring them.

This place is a fucking disgrace.

Actually, this is even funnier than anything Biggi-hed came up with.  E for effort.

[jasonact]

Quote:
Fucking bunch of losers on this forum. A few cunts with nothing better to do than spend their sad empty lives on an internet forum acting the tough guy.


So anyone with a clark status knows nothing according to you fags. How sad to see you have come to using post count to measure knowledge.

Maybe we should all get our dicks out and start measuring them.

This place is a fucking disgrace.

Wow. I know some Clarks like to get all self-righteous and defensive at times, but I really didn't expect that. It's all in good fun! Ask a stupid question, get a foot up your ass. That's just the way it works. It's okay. We don't have to get all pissy about it. Oh well, on to the next thread...

[pravata]

Quote:
Fucking bunch of losers on this forum. A few cunts with nothing better to do than spend their sad empty lives on an internet forum acting the tough guy.


So anyone with a clark status knows nothing according to you fags. How sad to see you have come to using post count to measure knowledge.

Maybe we should all get our dicks out and start measuring them.

This place is a fucking disgrace.

I dont want to alarm you, however, you are now on an internet forum acting the tough guy.

[Lefty]

And, like dead celebrities, trolls also apparently come in 3's.

[Astroholic]

Practice must of finished early today.  This site does not measure the validity of a post by how many post one has, it is based on content.  If you don't like it, Leave.

[Limey]

Quote:
A few cunts with nothing better to do than spend their sad empty lives on an internet forum acting the tough guy.

You, of course, are a real tough guy, using words like "cunt" and "fag", and not spending your empty life on the internet.  Your presence here is simply a mirage, just like your nads.

Why don't you head back to your Mum's closet, put on whatever items of her underwear you feel good in, and get back to trying to suck your own cock.

[MusicMan]

Quote:
How sad to see you have come to using post count to measure knowledge.

You must have missed the 4 pages using knowledge to measure his lack of knowledge.

[The Gaffer]

Quote:

Quote:
A few cunts with nothing better to do than spend their sad empty lives on an internet forum acting the tough guy.

You, of course, are a real tough guy, using words like "cunt" and "fag", and not spending your empty life on the internet.  Your presence here is simply a mirage, just like your nads.

Why don't you head back to your Mum's closet, put on whatever items of her underwear you feel good in, and get back to trying to suck your own cock.

Can you please change your user name, Limey? As an Englishman, I do not wish to be associated with scum like you.

[ASTROCREEP]

Quote:
Fucking bunch of losers on this forum. A few cunts with nothing better to do than spend their sad empty lives on an internet forum acting the tough guy.


So anyone with a clark status knows nothing according to you fags. How sad to see you have come to using post count to measure knowledge.

Maybe we should all get our dicks out and start measuring them.

This place is a fucking disgrace.

Biggio is that you? A curtain call, just for me?

[Astroholic]

Can you please change your user name, Limey? As an Englishman, I do not wish to be associated with scum like you.



Do you really feel this post was worth editing?

[strosrays]

Quote:
And, like dead celebrities, trolls also apparently come in 3's.

Actually, it is part of Lent.


Apr 10 - Holy Monday
Apr 11 - Holy Tuesday
Apr 12 - Troll Wednesday
Apr 13 - Holy Thursday
Apr 14 - Good Friday
Apr 15 - Holy Saturday
Apr 16 - EASTER

[MusicMan]

Quote:


Can you please change your user name, Limey? As an Englishman, I do not wish to be associated with scum like you.

Do you really feel this post was worth editing?



Actually, I thought the gearshift from "fags" to "please" to "scum" showed remarkable dexterity.

[Astroholic]

I liked the change from "Ian an englishman"

[MusicMan]

Quote:

Quote:
And, like dead celebrities, trolls also apparently come in 3's.

Actually, it is part of Lent.


Apr 10 - Holy Monday
Apr 11 - Holy Tuesday
Apr 12 - Troll Wednesday
Apr 13 - Holy Thursday
Apr 14 - Good Friday
Apr 15 - Holy Saturday
Apr 16 - EASTER

"... and the trolls spake thusly, saying, 'LORD, give me the strength to annoy mine enemies...' but the trolls, being naughty in thine sight, were smitten mightily.  Amen."

[Spack McGrimm]

Quote:
Fucking bunch of losers on this forum. A few cunts with nothing better to do than spend their sad empty lives on an internet forum acting the tough guy.


So anyone with a clark status knows nothing according to you fags. How sad to see you have come to using post count to measure knowledge.

Maybe we should all get our dicks out and start measuring them.

This place is a fucking disgrace.

The hunting sure is good today.

You won't have to worry about this place anymore.  Sayanora.

Any other Clarks want a piece of this?

[Limey]

Quote:
Can you please change your user name, Limey? As an Englishman, I do not wish to be associated with scum like you.

Piss off then.  Problem solved.

[Foghorn]

See, I think anyone who uses "cunts" in a post can't be all bad.

True, that particular little cunt was whining earlier, which I consider the #1 offense to the board.  Worse than trolling, in my opinion.  Far worse than posting a link to Barney Rubble giving Wilma Flintsone a hot carl, which actually would be appreciated by me at least.

Anyway, to summarize, "cunt" is good, whining is bad, and animated pop culture porn OWNZ YOUR SORRY ASS.

[JackAstro]

Quote:

Quote:
Fucking bunch of losers on this forum. A few cunts with nothing better to do than spend their sad empty lives on an internet forum acting the tough guy.


So anyone with a clark status knows nothing according to you fags. How sad to see you have come to using post count to measure knowledge.

Maybe we should all get our dicks out and start measuring them.

This place is a fucking disgrace.

The hunting sure is good today.

You won't have to worry about this place anymore.  Sayanora.

Any other Clarks want a piece of this?

Can't believe I missed out on all this on account of a day full of meetings. I think I'll miss Gaffer the most, but it's so hard to choose.

[graboel]

Well I am new around here and it sure seems a friendly place!

[utastro]

Quote:
Well I am new around here and it sure seems a friendly place!

Here we go again!!!!!

[BizidyDizidy]

Quote:
Well I am new around here and it sure seems a friendly place!

First post whine, perhaps a record?

[CJM]

Is this going to happen every time there is a rainout this year?  If so it will be very interesting around here when the Astros make their first trip to Pittsburgh.

[JackAstro]

Quote:
Well I am new around here and it sure seems a friendly place!

It sure as shit is! Great to have you aboard!!!

[strosrays]

Quote:

Quote:
Well I am new around here and it sure seems a friendly place!

Here we go again!!!!!

Well, I'm clocking out.  But it is good to see the evening shift will have something to do.

[pravata]

Quote:
Well I am new around here and it sure seems a friendly place!

If you have anything interesting, informative, or (and this requires restraint) entertaining to post about the Astros it can be.  However, it's not one of our priorities.

[Gizzmonic]

Trying your damndest to bring up the reputations of Clarks everywhere without a hint of irony.  Bravo, sir!

Quote:
Fucking bunch of losers on this forum. A few cunts with nothing better to do than spend their sad empty lives on an internet forum acting the tough guy.


So anyone with a clark status knows nothing according to you fags. How sad to see you have come to using post count to measure knowledge.

Maybe we should all get our dicks out and start measuring them.

This place is a fucking disgrace.

[CrawfordBoxes]

It is a tough crowd around here. I've noticed that since day 1! But you have to earn respect in a community like this. I don't try to pick fights with any of the senior members of the forums because I have respect for them. But I'll hold my sports knowledge with anyone!

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Quote:
I don't try to pick fights with any of the senior members of the forums because I have respect for them.

Picking fights I always felt like the punch-drunk pugilist who has been knocked in the cranium a few too many times. The boxer with smokey eyes that hangs out in a ripe sweaty corner of a dingy old boxing gym trying to get someone to spar a few rounds. Standing in the shadow with a swath of sunlight and dust swirls breaking across mid torso. Swatting at flies that no one else sees. Lucky for me the good fighters gave me a pass.

[Zan]

Hmmmm......

Juxtapose this:

Quote:
If you thought I was wrong you guys could have approached it in a mature [manner].

With this:

Quote:
Fucking bunch of losers on this forum. A few cunts with nothing better to do than spend their sad empty lives on an internet forum acting the tough guy.

Maybe we should all get our dicks out and start measuring them.

[BizidyDizidy]

Agreed, you are the second whiniest bitch on this forum.

[Zan]

Quote:
Agreed, you are the second whiniest bitch on this forum.

Ha. Touche.

[Arky Vaughan]

I've never thought much of the old/new distinction.

But coming in here to post something stupid just to draw a reaction is a quick way out of town -- especially when you do it under two different names.