Author Topic: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel  (Read 3437 times)

Texifornia

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World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« on: July 10, 2019, 12:07:01 pm »
https://www.mlb.com/news/bud-selig-discusses-his-book

I've got to run to the vomitorium now...
He breezed him, one more time!

Ron Brand

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Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2019, 08:10:48 pm »
I wrote this in 2012, as a part of a series preview. I still feel this way.

Quote
I fucking hate The Peen.

All the real hatred I have is reserved for the Owner In Absentia though. The classless, bullying greedhead who became the scuttling lickspittle of the Barons who call the shots in the game I love. Inheritor of prosperity, relentless questor for ways to heap even greater sums into the ledgers of those who jerk his strings, all the while blithely willing to suffer the hatred and scorn of millions of fans across the country. As much as I’d like to see The Peen sprawled on the turf, shattered testicles filling his pants with blood, it would make the scene complete to catch Allen Huber’s kneeling figure as it pulls erect in the glare of the lights, his fangs dripping from lapping his dinner, a raspy gasp escaping his lips as he turns, snaps his cape and assumes the form of a bat to fly back across Milwaukee to his nocturnal lair.

Except cameras can’t see vampires.

Fuck you, Bud. I will piss on your grave. This time it counts.

Fuck him. Fuck his bullshit "book," his chortling reminiscenses of times spent emptying the spittoons of the Really Wealthy, his giggling with Other Millionaires and the twisted dream that they think of him as a friend. Or that any of us have the slightest interest in whatever warped sack of lies he hawks as his story.
I'm in love with rock and roll and I'll be out all night.

Mr. Happy

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Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2019, 11:33:28 pm »
I wrote this in 2012, as a part of a series preview. I still feel this way.

Fuck him. Fuck his bullshit "book," his chortling reminiscenses of times spent emptying the spittoons of the Really Wealthy, his giggling with Other Millionaires and the twisted dream that they think of him as a friend. Or that any of us have the slightest interest in whatever warped sack of lies he hawks as his story.

Indeed. Your level of hatred is palpable and highly justified. FYB belongs in the Ninth Circle of Hell.
People who cannot recognize a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilization. Agnes Rupellier

Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius

Col. Sphinx Drummond

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Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2019, 07:47:13 am »
I've wondered if Selig's grave will be accessible pissing on. There seems to be a great demand.
Everyone's talking, few of them know
The rest are pretending, they put on a show
And if there's a message I guess this is it
Truth isn't easy, the easy part's shit

Ron Brand

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Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« Reply #4 on: July 11, 2019, 08:22:26 am »
I've wondered if Selig's grave will be accessible pissing on. There seems to be a great demand.

Maybe he'll leave instructions in his will to charge admission.
I'm in love with rock and roll and I'll be out all night.

Ty in Tampa

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Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« Reply #5 on: July 11, 2019, 08:43:26 am »
Maybe he'll leave instructions in his will to charge admission.

"If they want to piss on the grave of the greatest commissioner of baseball ever then, by golly, they're going to have to pay for the privilege."
"You want me broken. You want me dead.
I'm living rent-free in the back of your head."

Col. Sphinx Drummond

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Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2019, 10:42:48 am »
Might have to outfit a drone with a squirt bottle.
Everyone's talking, few of them know
The rest are pretending, they put on a show
And if there's a message I guess this is it
Truth isn't easy, the easy part's shit

Craig

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Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2019, 02:39:53 pm »
"If they want to piss on the grave of the greatest commissioner of baseball ever then, by golly, they're going to have to pay for the privilege."

If you paid him enough, he'd probably leave the roof open.

Texifornia

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Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2019, 02:59:57 pm »
To me, Pinwheel is just as bad as FYB. If I remember correctly, he was with the Chronicle and writing that a league change would certainly not be a condition for sale approval by MLB and was only something being discussed as a possibility for the distant future, and it probably wouldn't be the Astros moving anyway. Then, just as the sale and forced league change became known, he resigns from the Chronicle and goes to work for MLB.

Somebody correct my recollection, but I remember him as a real snake in the grass.
He breezed him, one more time!

Bench

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Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« Reply #9 on: July 11, 2019, 03:02:11 pm »
I wrote this in 2012, as a part of a series preview. I still feel this way.

Fuck him. Fuck his bullshit "book," his chortling reminiscenses of times spent emptying the spittoons of the Really Wealthy, his giggling with Other Millionaires and the twisted dream that they think of him as a friend. Or that any of us have the slightest interest in whatever warped sack of lies he hawks as his story.

I came back to my computer after a few hours, read this and though "That's really harsh on Bouton!"

But yeah. The notion that Bud can peddle his bullshit legacy to any sentient being is preposterous.
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

MusicMan

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Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2019, 03:09:40 pm »
If you paid him enough, he'd probably leave the roof open.

If only I were his funeral director.

“He requested a closed casket, but we’re forcing him to leave it open.”


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I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

moriartp

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Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« Reply #11 on: July 11, 2019, 03:14:54 pm »
If only I were his funeral director.

“He requested a closed casket, but we’re forcing him to leave it open.”

POTW

Ron Brand

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Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« Reply #12 on: July 11, 2019, 03:43:33 pm »
I came back to my computer after a few hours, read this and though "That's really harsh on Bouton!"

Sorry about that. I have nothing but love and respect for Jim Bouton.
I'm in love with rock and roll and I'll be out all night.

VirtualBob

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Re: World Class Selig Fluffing by Pinwheel
« Reply #13 on: July 11, 2019, 07:31:54 pm »
Up in the Air