Cubs at Astros May 29th 2019 version.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Cubs Lineup

Kyle Hendricks  RHP   4-4, 3.34 ERA, 54 SO
 
Kyle Schwarber (L) LF
Kris Bryant (R) DH
Anthony Rizzo (L) 1B
Javier Baez (R) 3B
Willson Contreras (R) C
Albert Almora Jr. (R) CF
Jason Heyward (L) RF
Addison Russell (R) SS
David Bote (R) 2B


Astros Lineup

Wade Miley   LHP  5-2, 3.32 ERA, 45 SO

Derek Fisher (L) LF
Alex Bregman (R) SS
Michael Brantley (L) DH
Yuli Gurriel (R) 3B
Josh Reddick (L) RF
Robinson Chirinos (R) C
Tyler White (R) 1B
Tony Kemp (L) 2B
Jake Marisnick (R) CF

[HudsonHawk]

Well that didn’t take long

[Knoxbanedoodle]

Well that didn’t take long

It's the damn helium!

[HudsonHawk]

Geez Yuli, did you forget what the bat is for?

[Lefty]

Geez Yuli, did you forget what the bat is for?

Glad I'm not the only one that saw that

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Glad I'm not the only one that saw that

Swinging at pitches down the middle is just what they'd expect.

[MusicMan]

Geez Yuli, did you forget what the bat is for?

The MoBerg special.


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[Knoxbanedoodle]

Gotdamn helium!

[Lefty]

I wasn't sure I could dislike White more than I have, but I do.

[HudsonHawk]

Bregman stretched that triple into a double.

[geezerdonk]

Looked like the left fielder mistimed his jump.

[HudsonHawk]

Astros on the corners, nobody out...

[WVastro]

For those able to listen, what happened in the stands? Wasn’t a kid was it?

[HudsonHawk]

Reddick with a sac fly to cut the lead in half.

Bregman comes up limping.

[HudsonHawk]

For those able to listen, what happened in the stands? Wasn’t a kid was it?

They didn’t show or say.

[austro]

Looked like the left fielder mistimed his jump.

Schwarber is terrible out there, even accounting for his lack of familiarity with MMPUS.

[HudsonHawk]

Almora is inconsolable. He may be out of the game. They just referred to the “young fan”.

[Lefty]

Schwarber is terrible out there, even accounting for his lack of familiarity with MMPUS.

He may be the worst LFer I've seen since....?

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Almora is inconsolable. He may be out of the game. They just referred to the “young fan”.

FTC.  But not that one.   

Hope all turns out well.

[jbm]

Almora is inconsolable. He may be out of the game. They just referred to the “young fan”.

I wasn’t watching but I thought I heard Blum say it went “through the net.”  Did it, or was it a liner past the net?

[HudsonHawk]

White back to diving back from pitches on the outside of the plate

[HudsonHawk]

I wasn’t watching but I thought I heard Blum say it went “through the net.”  Did it, or was it a liner past the net?

I don’t think so. I think it was past the net.  They didn’t show it.

[HudsonHawk]

White with a leadoff double!

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Raise your hand if you thought Tyler might get gunned down at 2nd.

[geezerdonk]

What was that move by White rounding first?

[chuck]

Past the net. According to some friends who’re at the game it was a young girl, 4 or 5 years old. Pretty bad news.

[HudsonHawk]

That didn’t go as planned. White out 4-5 on the FC

[HudsonHawk]

Past the net. According to some friends who’re at the game it was a young girl, 4 or 5 years old. Pretty bad news.

That’s just awful.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Make sure the ball is thru the infield,  *then* run.

[HudsonHawk]

Well that would have plated a run

[HudsonHawk]

Make sure the ball is thru the infield,  *then* run.

Not when it’s on the ground behind you.  White made the right break. He’s just dragging a bass boat behind him.

[HudsonHawk]

That inning ended worse than it started.   Still 2-1 Cubs

[Texifornia]

He’s just dragging a bass boat behind him.

I wish he'd get a trailer.

[HudsonHawk]

I wish he'd get a trailer.

He’s dragging it sideways.

[JimR]

Make sure the ball is thru the infield,  *then* run.

No. Not on a ball to the right side. Run.

[austro]

Well, how about that: Schwarber made a nice play on that Brantley drive.

[MRaup]

It's fucking pathetic how shitty even this split squad looks against Hendricks. That guy has thrown at least 6 pitches right down the middle that have either been fouled off or just looked at.

HIT THIS FUCKING SCRUB'S SLOP ASS PITCHES!

[Navin R Johnson]

From Twitter.  A guy in the section when asked where the kid, who he said was no older than a year,  was hit

“I don’t know. Father held her up and she was limp, head was falling backward. She finally started screaming when her father got her to the top of the stairs”

Fucking scary.

[MRaup]

From Twitter.  A guy in the section when asked where the kid, who he said was no older than a year was hit

“I don’t know. Father held her up and she was limp, head was falling backward. She finally started screaming when her father got her to the top of the stairs”

Fucking scary.

It's almost like you shouldn't bring your infant to an event where there's a chance they might get hit by a 100 mph projectile.

[geezerdonk]

Screaming is good.

[HudsonHawk]

They just confirmed it was a kid, but reports are the kid will be ok.

[Snuffy]

They just confirmed it was a kid, but reports are the kid will be ok.

(ESPN announcement) The child is awake, conscious, on way to hospital.

[WVastro]

It's almost like you shouldn't bring your infant to an event where there's a chance they might get hit by a 100 mph projectile.

Way to come to the rescue, Captain Hindsight!

[JimR]

Way to come to the rescue, Captain Hindsight!

This is foresight. Leave your infant at home.

[MRaup]

Way to come to the rescue, Captain Hindsight!

My two superpowers are being poet laureate of curse words and pointing out obvious shit.

Option 2 seemed more appropriate.

[doyce7]

It's fucking pathetic how shitty even this split squad looks against Hendricks. That guy has thrown at least 6 pitches right down the middle that have either been fouled off or just looked at.

HIT THIS FUCKING SCRUB'S SLOP ASS PITCHES!

In fairness, Hendricks has a career 3.09 ERA in 142 starts. It's not like he hasn't had a ton of success at the major league level

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[MRaup]

Also, fuck Tyler the Blimp and his inability to hit center in 87 MPH fastballs. What the fuck are you waiting for, you tub of guts?

[austro]

You're fucking kidding me!

[MRaup]

In fairness, Hendricks has a career 3.09 ERA in 142 starts. It's not like he hasn't had a ton of success at the major league level

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While his stats are fairly impressive, his ERA is not a great reason to take center cut fastballs for strike one.

[HudsonHawk]

What infielders do the Astros have in the Green Grass League?

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Bregman scores- limps off

Kemp reaches first- by taking one off the ulna

[austro]

What infielders do the Astros have in the Green Grass League?

I think they're all up here now.

[WVastro]

My two superpowers are being poet laureate of curse words and pointing out obvious shit.

Option 2 seemed more appropriate.

Wasn’t an insult, just one of my favorite South Park moments.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Wasn’t an insult, just one of my favorite South Park moments.

Do you like fish sticks?

[MRaup]

Wasn’t an insult, just one of my favorite South Park moments.

Which is why I didn't employ my first superpower.

[hostros7]

This is foresight. Leave your infant at home.

Honest question: did you not bring your kids to baseball games when they were four or five years old?

I have certainly brought my young fella, but I’m selective about my seat location and wouldn’t sit close to the action down the lines beyond the net.


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[MRaup]

Honest question: did you not bring your kids to baseball games when they were four or five years old?

I have certainly brought my young fella, but I’m selective about my seat location and wouldn’t sit close to the action down the lines beyond the net.


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This is also acceptable. Sitting where a popup might find you is one thing, but sitting down a baseline with a young child is just asking for something awful to happen.

[WVastro]

Which is why I didn't employ my first superpower.

“You had best unfuck yourself and start shitting me Tiffany cufflinks or I will definitely fuck you up!”

[HudsonHawk]

Devo off to an inauspicious start this inning.

[chuck]

You can bring kids, I think, you just have to know that they won’t be paying attention and so you need to, always, and you need to sit between them and the batter.

[HudsonHawk]

How’d they fuck up that up?

[austro]

This is also acceptable. Sitting where a popup might find you is one thing, but sitting down a baseline with a young child is just asking for something awful to happen.

Hell, I don't sit down there when it's just me. The ball gets on you fast, and I've seen enough people get clocked. And even if you think you've got everything lined up, there's always the chance that somebody else will deflect the ball and fuck you up that way.

[MRaup]

How’d they fuck up that up?

I mean... *gestures at game in general*

[austro]

How’d they fuck up that up?

Why was White trying to tag him? Wouldn't the bag have been good enough?

[hostros7]

You can bring kids, I think, you just have to know that they won’t be paying attention and so you need to, always, and you need to sit between them and the batter.

And, often, your kids are the ones who divert your attention from the game and thus protecting them from sharply hit foul balls, compounding the risk of the situation.


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[WVastro]

How’d they fuck up that up?

Looked to me like Bregman was waiting for White to “run” back to first.

In hindsight/foresight I’d rather not have Tyler White on this team anymore. I’ve liked him in the past too.

[HudsonHawk]

Why was White trying to tag him? Wouldn't the bag have been good enough?

He tagged up on the fly ball. It’s a tag play at 1B.

[austro]

He tagged up on the fly ball. It’s a tag play at 1B.

For some reason I thought he left early. Which, in retrospect, was a stupid thought.

[HudsonHawk]

Cubs with the bases loaded, two out...

[Lefty]

Why don't all yall shut the fuck up?

[chuck]

And, often, your kids are the ones who divert your attention from the game and thus protecting them from sharply hit foul balls, compounding the risk of the situation.

My kid would never try to distract me from something he could plainly see I was engaged with.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Whew!

[HudsonHawk]

Ponche!

Devo leaves the bases juiced. Still 2-1.

[Navin R Johnson]

Deco with an 85 mph cement mixer down Main Street....for strike three looking. 

[MusicMan]

COD right down the middle. I’ll take it.

(That’s what he said.)


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[doyce7]

Devo didn't exactly inspire confidence there

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[jbm]

Deco with an 85 mph cement mixer down Main Street....for strike three looking.

Devo living right.

Need a bloop and a bomb.

[JimR]

He tagged up on the fly ball. It’s a tag play at 1B.

[Astros Fan in Big D]

Top of the order up.

Well, top of *an* order.

Let's go.

[Lefty]

That's the best I've seen Devo pitch in a month

[WVastro]

Top of the order up.

Well, top of *an* order.

Let's go.

It’s cool... we have, wait...? Who’s on the bench?!

[WVastro]

Nice work Harris

[hostros7]

Harris’s slider to end the inning >>> Devo’s change to end the inning


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[austro]

And so we find ourselves in a situation where we have to rely on Tyler White to do something.

[astrojo]

Nasty pitch by Harris. Now let’s get a couple runs!

[HudsonHawk]

Fuck White!

Swing the fucking bat!!

[HudsonHawk]

FUCK!

White is fucking useless.

[Tom Servo]

Fuck White!

Swing the fucking bat!!

Especially the one right down the middle.

[MusicMan]

I think we’re going to deal with a few games like this in the coming days.


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[Astros Fan in Big D]

Bad call. 

But PROTECT THE PLATE!!

[HudsonHawk]

I think we’re going to deal with a few games like this in the coming days.


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We’ve been dealing with White’s incompetence since March.

[WVastro]

Especially the one right down the middle.

The 1-0 pitch to White was the game. Why he didn’t swing at that, I don’t know...

[HudsonHawk]

Bad call. 

But PROTECT THE PLATE!!

He could at last *try* to get on base.  Any effort would be an upgrade.

[austro]

I await the post-game presser where we'll learn about Bregman's knee discomfort and Kemp's wrist discomfort.

[MRaup]

That was fucking pathetic.

The entire inning, but especially White.

[WVastro]

I await the post-game presser where we'll learn about Bregman's knee discomfort and Kemp's wrist discomfort.

An alternative narrative to this season would be to see if Luhnow has compiled a AAA team capable of winning the AL West.

[astrojo]

Not to take anything away from Hendrix’s performance, but the Astros sure looked gutless on several 88-90mph “fastballs” right down the middle.  As if today’s news wasn’t depressing enough, they failed to sweep for the 3rd time in completely winnable games.

[JimR]

Unreal loss

[Navin R Johnson]

At this point you have to start wondering if White has compromising information on Luhnow. 

It’s one thing to keep him on a roster with a healthy Altuve Springer and Correa, but with all the injuries they can’t afford to keep his massive dead wait afloat.

[JimR]

At this point you have to start wondering if White has compromising information on Luhnow. 

It’s one thing to keep him on a roster with a healthy Altuve Springer and Correa, but with all the injuries they can’t afford to keep his massive dead wait afloat.

This is so true. They guys who are left standing and Luhnow must do something to replace the lost run production. I do know know what has happened to White, but he cannot handle the fastball this year.

[Lefty]

At this point you have to start wondering if White has compromising information on Luhnow. 

It’s one thing to keep him on a roster with a healthy Altuve Springer and Correa, but with all the injuries they can’t afford to keep his massive dead wait afloat.

If he's not gone June 1 or 2....