April 22, 2016 vs Red Sox...Fuck it, I'm drinking bourbon tonight...

[HudsonHawk]

Starting Lineups:

Red Sox:

RF  Mookie Betts
2B  Dustin Pedroia
SS  Xander Bogaerts
DH  David Ortiz
1B  Hanley Ramirez
3B  Travis Shaw
LF  Brock Holt
C  Ryan Hanigan
CF  Jackie Bradley, Jr.

P  Steven Wright


Astros:

2B  Jose Altuve
RF  George Springer
SS  Carlos Correa
LF  Colby Rasmus
1B  Tyler White
DH  Evan Gattis
CF  Carlos Gomez
3B  Luis Valbuena
C  Erik Kratz

P  Collin McHugh

[austro]

Scotch for me. I sure hope they start to get their shit together.

[HudsonHawk]

I hate the orange suits

[HudsonHawk]

Scotch for me. I sure hope they start to get their shit together.

I ran 100 rounds through my Beretta 92FS today and then had CFS at the local grill. Tonight I'm committed to that bottle of Woodford Reserve.   Something's gotta work.

[austro]

Something's gotta work.

You'd like to think so, but apparently that's not the case.

[HudsonHawk]

Well that didn't take fucking long.  Red Sox lead 1-0

[MusicMan]

This team is utter shit.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[jbm]

Wtf. 0-2 fucking meatball, after a non-play by Valbuena. 

[Navin R Johnson]

At least Valbuena can hit....oh wait.  Why the fuck is he playing over Marwin. 

[HudsonHawk]

Boy the Astros can't seem to get enough of Ortiz

[MikeyBoy]

At least Valbuena can hit....oh wait.  Why the fuck is he playing over Marwin. 

Or Moran?

[HudsonHawk]

Bases loaded, still don't have an out...

[austro]

No problem, HanRam only has a .363 average against the Astros.

[HudsonHawk]

T1:

Betts triples off the LCF wall.  Gomez made a terrific throw which beat Betts by 5 feet, but Valbuena couldn't handle  the hop
Pedroia...infield back...0-2, so infield comes in and McHugh grooves one, hit into RCF for a single, Betts scores.
Bogaerts...full count...skys a popup right behind 2B, but no one can get to it and it drops for a single...Pedroia to 2B
Ortiz...full count...walks, Pedroia to 3B, Bogaerts to 2B

Strom out to talk

Ramirez sacrifice fly F7, Pedroia scores
Shaw pops up...IFR in effect...Valbuena grabs it
Holt flies out F7

2-0 Sox

[austro]

Well, not wonderful, but it could have been a lot worse.

[HudsonHawk]

Well, not wonderful, but it could have been a lot worse.

The only ball really hit hard was Betts's, and that should have been an out.  The one real mistake was giving Pedroia something to hit 0-2.  Lucky it's only 2-0

[juliogotay]

Astros pitching had an ERA of  11+ in the first inning this year. That was coming into this game so it will go up.

[HudsonHawk]

B1:

Altuve...full count...strikes out looking
Springer hits it to 3B, Shaw kicks it...reaches on E5
Correa singles to RF, Springer to 2B
Rasmus flies out F8
White grounds out 4-3

Only 0 for 2 w/RISP this inning

2-0 Sox

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Fuck mother fucker fuck mother fucking shit. I'm home, alone, drinklin' Real Ale's Lost Gold IPA. It fucking great mother fuckers. Goooooooo Astrooooooooos!!!!!!!!!!   woah, good catch Springer!!!

[austro]

Looks like Sphinx got a head start on the rest of us.

[HudsonHawk]

3-0 Sox...McHugh throwing puss.

[austro]

Maybe McHugh should just take a tee out to home plate and save the wear and tear on his arm.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Anybody else kind of wondering why shit went so mother fucking sideways?

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Looks like a beautiful night at the ballpark. Except for the bull shit on the field.

[HudsonHawk]

T2:

Hanigan lines out to RF on a nice grab by Springer
Bradley doubles to RF
Betts doubles off the LF wall, Bradley scores
Pedroia strikes out swinging, 2-3 on the putout
Bogaerts...0-2...strikes out swinging

3-0 Sox

[austro]

Anybody else kind of wondering why shit went so mother fucking sideways?

Well, I know I kind of wondered if some of the pitchers weren't doing it with smoke and mirrors last year. So their performance so far disappoints but doesn't completely surprise me. Couple that with shitty hitting and some old-fashioned bad luck, and there you are.

Although whoever brought up complacency/cockiness/entitlement in another thread has a valid point, too.

[HudsonHawk]

Anybody else kind of wondering why shit went so mother fucking sideways?

I have some ideas, but we don't want to go there.

[chuck]

Two positives I can think of. One, the Internet where I am now is so terrible that I can't even stream the audio. So I don't have to experience this traveling horseshit show in real time. Two, it is quite possible that I will never have to think about Curt Schilling ever again.

[MusicMan]

In the words of Crash Davis:

Fuck this fucking game. I fucking quit. What time is the game tomorrow?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Valbuena, that sucked.

[HudsonHawk]

B2:

Gattis strikes out looking
Gomez...strike one hits Hanigan on the knee...bunt single
Valbuena strikes out swinging
Kratz...3-0...3-1...3-2...strikes out swinging, 2-3 on the putout

3-0

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Chuck is lucky he can't see this bubbling puddle of shit.

[HudsonHawk]

The bottom third of the order tonight is hitting .413...and by that I mean that if you add all three of their averages together, you get .413. 

[WVastro]

I had two frito pies for dinner tonight. Should have gotten the third. I appreciate the play-by-play. Working.

[HudsonHawk]

I had two frito pies for dinner tonight. Should have gotten the third. I appreciate the play-by-play. Working.

I wouldn't say I APPRECIATE the PBP, Bob...

[The Third Man]

The Astros are tanking for the top pick of 2017. It's a process, you know.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Gomez is brilliant...

[austro]

What the fuck was Gomez thinking there? I know, I know, trick question; he doesn't think.

[moriartp]

The bottom third of the order tonight is hitting .413...and by that I mean that if you add all three of their averages together, you get .413.

Jesus.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

What the fuck was Gomez thinking there? I know, I know, trick question; he doesn't think.

It's not his fault there was no-one where he was throwing. He had the right idea. Godammit McHugh!

[austro]

The bottom third of the order tonight is hitting .413...and by that I mean that if you add all three of their averages together, you get .413. 

This would be hilarious if it weren't so sad. Actually, it's still hilarious. And sad.

[HudsonHawk]

T3:

Ortiz lines out to CF
Ramirez single past SS
Shaw with a routine grounder to SS, but there's no one there, single, Gomez picks it up and throws it to 3B even though Correa is telling him to not to because no one is covering...luckily Correa was able to knock down the throw...Ramirez to 3B
Shaw moves to 2B on a wild pitch
Holt...full count...infield in...singles to LF, Ramirez scores, Shaw to 3B
Hanigan...3-0...full count now...lines to 2B, Holt was running on the pitch as is doubled off 4-3

4-0 Sox

[chuck]

One thing I was trying to do is get someone to set me up for the I wouldn't say I'm missing the game joke.

Apparently we the GZ crew haven't really left Spring Training mode, either.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

That's some real shitty mother fucking shitty fucked up shit.

[chuck]

Just out of curiosity, where was Valbuena on that Gomez throw to third? I would ordinarily expect the third baseman to be loitering around in the vicinity of third base during the normal course of events if there is in fact a play happening at third.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

The Astros are currently going through their shitting dicks phase.

[juliogotay]

Just out of curiosity, where was Valbuena on that Gomez throw to third? I would ordinarily expect the third baseman to be loitering around in the vicinity of third base during the normal course of events if there is in fact a play happening at third.

SS position, near the bag at 2nd.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Just out of curiosity, where was Valbuena on that Gomez throw to third? I would ordinarily expect the third baseman to be loitering around in the vicinity of third base during the normal course of events if there is in fact a play happening at third.

Good question.

[HudsonHawk]

B3:

Altuve grounds out 6-3 on the first pitch
Springer flies out F8
Correa...full count...walks
Correa to 2B on a passed ball
Rasmus grounds out 3U

4-0

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

The Astros are really peeing their asses off tonight.

[The Third Man]

Hopefully, they are getting last September's performance out of the way in April and will play like *last* April in...oh, fuck it.

[austro]

Just out of curiosity, where was Valbuena on that Gomez throw to third? I would ordinarily expect the third baseman to be loitering around in the vicinity of third base during the normal course of events if there is in fact a play happening at third.

They had the shift on, so he was at short, and then he went toward second on the ball up the middle and dove for it. He wound up 3/4 of the way toward 2B on his belly and was completely out of the play when the ball got through.

[HudsonHawk]

Just out of curiosity, where was Valbuena on that Gomez throw to third? I would ordinarily expect the third baseman to be loitering around in the vicinity of third base during the normal course of events if there is in fact a play happening at third.

Shift was on, so he was playing close to SS position.  He actually got a glove on the ball on the dive, so he was lying on the ground near 2B.  Correa was running to cover but Ramirez had already passed him halfway to 3B.  Correa was telling Gomez not to throw, but he threw anyway.  Correa was able to knock it down.  McHugh had a helluva view from where he stood.

[austro]

Fuck you, Ashby. White wasn't going to get there in time.

[chuck]

SS position, near the bag at 2nd.

Why? Was he so fascinated by the play that he was transfixed and incapable of movement?

I mean, I understand that they have to employ a ridiculous shift at every opportunity because they want to show how much smarter they are than every other team that's played the game over the last hundred years. But why the fuck can't the third baseman cover third base?

[chuck]

So, really, McHugh should have been awake enough to cover third.

If you're asking your starting pitcher to cover any base other than first I think it might be time to reconsider things.

[HudsonHawk]

The FUCKING SHIFT has now cost at least two runs tonight...

[austro]

Why? Was he so fascinated by the play that he was transfixed and incapable of movement?

I mean, I understand that they have to employ a ridiculous shift at every opportunity because they want to show how much smarter they are than every other team that's played the game over the last hundred years. But why the fuck can't the third baseman cover third base?

He dove toward 2nd for the ball and didn't get it as the runner rounded 2nd. There was no chance that Valbuena was going to get up and beat the runner to 3rd, and it wasn't his fault. Gomez needs to pull his head out of his ass and understand what the rest of the team is doing.

[HudsonHawk]

Why? Was he so fascinated by the play that he was transfixed and incapable of movement?

He dove on the play.  He was on the ground, and by the time he was able to get up the runner was 8 steps past him.  He's not THAT fast. 

[HudsonHawk]

T4:

Bradley Jr (he actually has "Jr" on his jersey...grounds out 3-1
Betts with a routine grounder right at where the second baseman should be...but guess what...single
Pedroia grounds out 5-3, Betts to 2B
Bogaerts doubles to LF, Betts scores
Ortiz strikes out swinging

5-0

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Collin McHugh? More like Colon McPugh...

[HudsonHawk]

If you're asking your starting pitcher to cover any base other than first I think it might be time to reconsider things.

The other option is to have the catcher cover 3B, like you do on a bunt that the third baseman has to come in and field.  I would guess if you draw it up, that's how you'd play it.  I would also guess that such a scenario never dawned on them. 

[austro]

The other option is to have the catcher cover 3B, like you do on a bunt that the third baseman has to come in and field.  I would guess if you draw it up, that's how you'd play it.  I would also guess that such a scenario never dawned on them. 

Yeah, I imagine that this will cause them to start to temper the shift when there are runners on base. The risks go up a bit.

[HudsonHawk]

He dove toward 2nd for the ball and didn't get it as the runner rounded 2nd. There was no chance that Valbuena was going to get up and beat the runner to 3rd, and it wasn't his fault. Gomez needs to pull his head out of his ass and understand what the rest of the team is doing.

Well, you never leave 3B uncovered.  Ever.  The only base you ever leave uncovered is 2B on a bunt with runners at 1B and 2B and you have both corners charge.  Someone should have been there.  Still, you're right, Gomez has to not throw when Correa is telling him to hold it.

[HudsonHawk]

B4:

White grounds out 1-3
Gattis flies out F9
Gomez flies out F8

5-0 still

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

The other option is to have the catcher cover 3B, like you do on a bunt that the third baseman has to come in and field.  I would guess if you draw it up, that's how you'd play it.  I would also guess that such a scenario never dawned on them.

It only came up twice in over 60,000 simulations. You really can't account for that.

[HudsonHawk]

Yeah, I imagine that this will cause them to start to temper the shift when there are runners on base. The risks go up a bit.

The problem with the catcher covering, is then the first baseman has to cover the plate, after he went to cover 1B on a ground ball.  Basically, you get guys moving all over the fucking place.  The shift really fucks you if they don't hit it right at a shifted infielder.

[HudsonHawk]

For all that Altuve does well, he still hasn't learned how to make a tag. 

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

That was as close as it gets and closer than it needed to be.

[HudsonHawk]

T5:

Devenski in...

Ramirez singles to LF, for some reason thinks he can make 2B and is thrown out by 15 feet...actually, they're reviewing, and it looks like Altuve just didn't feel like tagging him...upheld though...single, out 7-4
Shaw singles to RF
Holt grounds into 1-6-3 double play

5-0

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Nice DP!

[austro]

Wow, a somewhat difficult play executed perfectly. There may yet be hope.

[juliogotay]

The Astros HOF burger is starting to wear a little thin with me.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

The Astros HOF burger is starting to wear a little thin with me.

Who is the other guy in that commercial. One of the Butts?

[austro]

Who is the other guy in that commercial. One of the Butts?

I think he must be. He shows up in a number of their commercials.

[HudsonHawk]

B5:

Valbuena with a leadoff walk
Kratz grounds into 5-4-3 double play
Altuve fists a little flair to SS

5-0 Sox

[juliogotay]

Who is the other guy in that commercial. One of the Butts?

I don't know who he is but he not a Butt I don't believe.

[HudsonHawk]

Who is the other guy in that commercial. One of the Butts?

Scott McClelland...President of HEB's Houston division. 

[HudsonHawk]

I wonder what would happen if I mixed bourbon and Big Red...

[austro]

Devenski really seems to fall off toward 1st. Is that eventually going to be a problem?

[HudsonHawk]

T6:

Hanigan with a broken bat Texas Leaguer over SS
Bradley strikes out swinging
Betts...a HR short of the cycle...flies out F8
Pedroia with a check swing flair over 1B, Hanigan to 2B
Bogaerts grounds into FC, Pedroia out 5-4

5-0 still

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

H-E-B has had some pretty funny commercials in in the Central and South Texas region with the Spurs' Tim, Manu, and Tony, and lately Kwahi too.

[The Third Man]

They may over turn this, but the thinking here is really suspect. The Astros are not as talented as they think they are.

[austro]

Hey, HH, you feeling any sympathy for Hanigan back there trying to catch those knuckleballs?

[MusicMan]

 Fuck you, Springer. That's an incredibly stupid play no matter what the call.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[HudsonHawk]

Hey, HH, you feeling any sympathy for Hanigan back there trying to catch those knuckleballs?

Yes.  And I'm wondering if he's having any sympathy for me having to watch this shit show. 

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Hey, HH, you feeling any sympathy for Hanigan back there trying to catch those knuckleballs?

He's being pretty nicely compensated. He should just do his job and be glad he is where he is.

[MusicMan]

Down five fucking runs, your best fucking hitter at the plate, NOBODY FUCKING OUT, and you're thrown out stealing third.

Springer's ass should be on the next plane to Fresno.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[pots]

WTF.  Caught stealing third with no outs down by 5.  Hinch should immediately remove his ass from the game as an example.  5-1 if he plans with any bit of intelligence

[HudsonHawk]

He's being pretty nicely compensated. He should just do his job and be glad he is where he is.

That's what he told me.

[MusicMan]

I'm dead fucking serious, too. If Hinch won't bench his ass, then Luhnow needs to do it for him. Little Leaguers don't make that kind of fucking mistake.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[HudsonHawk]

B6:

Springer singles to LF
Springer moves to 2B on a wild pitch
Springer thrown out trying to steal 3B...with no outs...and five runs down...Hinch challenging...upheld. 
Correa singles to RF
Rasmus flies out F9 at the wall
White strikes out swinging

Springer's idiocy costs a run...5-0 Sox

[MusicMan]

They can't cover the right fucking base and they can't remember the first fucking rule of base running.

I watched the last ten years of slapdickery with the belief that this team would turn it all around. I fucking BELIEVED in this team. And they are complete and utter frauds.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[HudsonHawk]

Damn that blonde's got some big titties.

[The Spleen]

Have you ever seen Bruce Wayne and Batman in the same place?

Have you ever seen the 2016 Astros and the 2016 Rockets in the same place?

/Springer looks stupid in that fake beard

[juliogotay]

I'm dead fucking serious, too. If Hinch won't bench his ass, then Luhnow needs to do it for him. Little Leaguers don't make that kind of fucking mistake.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

The more I see him the more I appreciate Rasmus among this traveling shit show. Rarely makes a judgement error. Doesn't throw to the wrong base.

[MusicMan]

The fact that Springer is in right field right now means that Hinch is a complete eunuch.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Damn that blonde's got some big titties.

Redemption!

[HudsonHawk]

T7:

Sipp in...

Ortiz grounds out 3-1
Ramirez strikes out swinging
Shaw grounds out 1-3

5-0

[HudsonHawk]

The Astros' designated "hitter" is batting .174 with 0 HRs and 0 RBIs.  For the season.

[WVastro]

Seems like a good time in here. This team is crap right now I'm looking forward to the flip side. I'm gunna go drown this in a hefty amount of beer and check back in in an hour. Doctors orders.

[HudsonHawk]

Marwin is hitting .192...which is 192 points higher than the guy for whom he's pinch hitting. 

[HudsonHawk]

Astros get a run without putting a ball in play on two walks and two passed ball...runners at the corner and 2 out for Springer....

[HudsonHawk]

B7:

Gattis...3-0...3-1...3-2...walks
Gomez grounds into FC, Gattis out 6-4
Valbuena draws a walk
Marwin, pinch hitting for Kratz, strikes out swinging
Gomez to 3B and Valbuena to 2B on a passed ball
Gomez scores, Valbuena to 3B on another passed ball
Altuve....full count...walks

That's it for Wright, Hembree in

Springer...quickly 0-2...strikes out looking

5-1 Sox after seven

[HudsonHawk]

I think I'll make pancakes in the morning.

[HudsonHawk]

T8:

Harris in...

Holt grounds out 3-1
Hanigan chops to 1B, Harris forgets to cover 1B, then remembers and is lucky it's the catcher running...1-3
Bradley strikes out swinging

5-1

[HudsonHawk]

B8:

Correa strikes out looking
Rasmus strikes out swinging
White walks
Gattis pops out to RF

5-1

[chuck]

Devenski really seems to fall off toward 1st. Is that eventually going to be a problem?

Yes, the next time he has to cover third he'll be two steps behind.

I was going to say that in general I'm not crazy about the catcher's doing anything but staying home when there are runners on base.

[HudsonHawk]

T9:

Gregerson in, since he many never pitch again if they wait for a save opportunity, Castro behind the plate

Betts triples to RCF, his second of the night
Pedroia...infield in...grounds to SS, out 6-3, Betts has to hold
Betts scores on a wild pitch that goes right through Castro's legs
Bogaerts drilled in the hand with the pitch, Young into pinch run
Ortiz grounds into 4-6-3 double play

Last chance...chasing five runs now...6-1

[HudsonHawk]

I was going to say that in general I'm not crazy about the catcher's doing anything but staying home when there are runners on base.

The bunt with the third baseman having to come get it is the only one you draw up that way.  Other than backing up 1B on a ground ball and no one on base. 

[HudsonHawk]

Hanigan has had a rough night.

[HudsonHawk]

I guess everyone either passed out or gave up.

[HudsonHawk]

B9:

The ghost of Dave Smith...otherwise known as Ross, Jr in for the Sox

Gomez flairs a single to RF
Valbuena strikes out looking
Marisnick, pinch hitting for Castro, works the count full, and draws a walk
Altuve flies out to deep RCF at the track, Gomez moves to 3B
Springer singles to LF, Gomez scores, Marisnick, who was running on the pitch, moves into 3B

That's it for Ross, Jr...Kimbrel in

Springer takes 2B on fielder's indifference
Correa grounds out 6-3

Stick a fork in the Astros...go down 6-2 to move to 5-12 on the year.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Thanks for the play by play, HH.

[MusicMan]

I guess everyone either passed out or gave up.

The Springer play convinced me that these guys and I need a little break from each other.