Author Topic: Club Astros  (Read 10150 times)

MusicMan

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Club Astros
« on: June 03, 2015, 09:40:15 am »
This was a discussion on 790 this morning, but I think this crowd can do it much better:

What is each player drinking in "Club Astros"?

For example, Oswalt clearly would have been drinking moonshine.

Gattis: Shotgunning Pabst Blue Ribbon
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

Reuben

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2015, 09:54:39 am »
Springer would probably be a Jäger bomb with Red Bull.
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Bench

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2015, 10:02:57 am »
Ausmus orders French 75s.
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

Knoxbanedoodle

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2015, 10:15:36 am »
I don't know what Valbuena's drinking, but I know he's drinking it stylishly.

MusicMan

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2015, 10:18:53 am »
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

Fredia

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2015, 10:37:19 am »
whatever they were drinking last night drink on. who has the shiners
forever is composed entirely of nows

Knoxbanedoodle

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GreatBagwellsBeard

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2015, 10:45:51 am »
Pettite says he's drinking a Shirley Temple but it actually has Everclear in it.

Garner is drinking a Salty Dog.
Drinking for two.

“I want to paint a mural of Houston for the kids, but I’m terrible at drawing swamp humidity"

Limey

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #8 on: June 03, 2015, 11:40:33 am »
Biggio is drinking a martini...very dirty.

Clemens is drinking juice with a secret ingredient in it.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Reuben

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #9 on: June 03, 2015, 11:54:30 am »
Moises Alou is drinking lemonade. At least, I hope that's lemonade.
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Bench

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #10 on: June 03, 2015, 12:16:50 pm »

Clemens is drinking juice with a secret ingredient in it.

He's just holding that drink for his wife. 
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

Bench

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #11 on: June 03, 2015, 12:17:28 pm »
Terry Collins just ordered another triple espresso. 
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

MusicMan

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #12 on: June 03, 2015, 12:21:53 pm »
Berkman orders Guinness from right-handed bartenders and Busch Light from left-handed bartenders.
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

HudsonHawk

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #13 on: June 03, 2015, 01:27:16 pm »
Judging from his penchant for skanky women, Bagwell must be the absinthe drinker of the bunch. 
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

das

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #14 on: June 03, 2015, 01:51:31 pm »
Josh Hamilton snuck in the back door and drank the bong water.
Another trenchant comment by a jealous lesser intellect.

BudGirl

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #15 on: June 03, 2015, 01:55:37 pm »
 I don't know what Ricky Gutierrez was drinking but he kept dropping it.
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geezerdonk

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #16 on: June 03, 2015, 01:57:56 pm »
Marwin's drinking RC cola.
E come vivo? Vivo.

NeilT

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #17 on: June 03, 2015, 02:23:53 pm »
Altuve's having a short beer.
"I think not having the estate tax recognizes the people that are investing... as opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies.”  Charles Grassley

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #18 on: June 03, 2015, 03:01:23 pm »
Altuve's having a short beer.

Perhaps even a half-pint.

Ebby Calvin

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #19 on: June 03, 2015, 03:14:41 pm »
Billy Wagner is the wine connoisseur of the bunch.
Don't think twice, it's alright.

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #20 on: June 03, 2015, 03:15:45 pm »
Whatever Biggio drinks, it's always a double.  And he follows each drink with the request "hit me with another"
Always ready to go to a game.

Fredia

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #21 on: June 03, 2015, 03:20:36 pm »
scrap iron is drinking a rusty nail
forever is composed entirely of nows

MikeyBoy

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #22 on: June 03, 2015, 03:22:23 pm »
Mike Hampton - Maddog 20/20
"Buenos Dias, shitheads."

NeilT

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #23 on: June 03, 2015, 03:25:13 pm »
McHugh must be Scotch, sometimes neat but recently on the rocks.
"I think not having the estate tax recognizes the people that are investing... as opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies.”  Charles Grassley

Jacksonian

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #24 on: June 03, 2015, 03:52:31 pm »
Billy Wagner is the wine connoisseur of the bunch.

Boxed
Goin' for a bus ride.

Bench

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #25 on: June 03, 2015, 04:39:11 pm »
Billy Wagner is the wine connoisseur of the bunch.

"I poured my best vintage and they drank it.  What more can I do?"
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

VirtualBob

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #26 on: June 03, 2015, 05:46:33 pm »
This is the kind of thread that makes this site unique.  Keep up the good "work".
Up in the Air

Mr. Happy

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #27 on: June 03, 2015, 06:12:18 pm »
This is the kind of thread that makes this site unique.  Keep up the good "work".

I was just thinking the same thing. You all are some clever!
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Limey

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #28 on: June 04, 2015, 09:00:05 am »
Jeff Kent is drinking an Old Fashioned.

Carlos Beltran is drinking a Manhattan.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

das

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #29 on: June 04, 2015, 09:09:16 am »
Another trenchant comment by a jealous lesser intellect.

subnuclear

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #30 on: June 04, 2015, 09:28:15 am »
Colin McHugh has occasional trouble locating his highball.

JimR

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #31 on: June 04, 2015, 09:35:47 am »
no one in the organization liked a Porter.
Often wrong, but never in doubt.

pots

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #32 on: June 04, 2015, 09:38:01 am »
Colin McHugh has occasional trouble locating his highball.

Well that is because Gattis drank it

NeilT

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #33 on: June 04, 2015, 09:39:45 am »
Whatever Carter's drinking, it's hard to tell if his glass is half full or half empty.
"I think not having the estate tax recognizes the people that are investing... as opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies.”  Charles Grassley

HudsonHawk

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #34 on: June 04, 2015, 09:41:13 am »
Castro drinking a cuba libre...smoking a big cigar?

I always thought of Scraps Garner drinking a sasparilla...in a dirty glass. 
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

pots

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #35 on: June 04, 2015, 09:44:09 am »
Luhnow ordered a sweaty mexican lumberjack, but sent it back.

The Spleen

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #36 on: June 04, 2015, 10:01:35 am »
The Big Unit is enjoying a Sex on the Beach...
When the Clark is dead, Spack will eat his spleen. Before he dies, Spack will put his posts under the knife so the Clark will see his threads wiped out forever...

MusicMan

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #37 on: June 04, 2015, 10:05:07 am »
Lance McCullers just got invited to the VIP lounge.


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I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

juliogotay

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #38 on: June 04, 2015, 10:07:54 am »
There is some clever stuff here. I'm enjoying this.

Ebby Calvin

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #39 on: June 04, 2015, 10:11:03 am »
JR Towles likes his Karbach Rodeo Clown Double IPA.
Don't think twice, it's alright.

JimR

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #40 on: June 04, 2015, 10:24:40 am »
Roy's Restaurant reprise
Often wrong, but never in doubt.

Dark Star

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #41 on: June 04, 2015, 10:33:33 am »
Richard Hidalgo carried a keg around behind him, wherever he went.
Shall we go, you and I, while we can,
Through the transitive nightfall of diamonds?

MusicMan

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #42 on: June 04, 2015, 10:37:56 am »

Richard Hidalgo carried a keg around behind him, wherever he went.

He stayed away from the guys doing shots.


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I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

Nate Colbert

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #43 on: June 04, 2015, 10:41:07 am »
Derek Bell is having a rum and coke. Without the rum.

Bench

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #44 on: June 04, 2015, 10:42:00 am »
He stayed away from the guys doing shots.


"Did someone say shots?"

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Jacksonian

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #45 on: June 04, 2015, 10:56:21 am »
Derek Bell is having a rum and coke. Without the rum.

Bell is shutting down the bar.
Goin' for a bus ride.

Nate Colbert

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #46 on: June 04, 2015, 10:56:41 am »
Don't know what Ashby has been drinking but he's been babbling on constantly and annoying the shit out of everybody around him.

doyce7

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #47 on: June 04, 2015, 11:03:20 am »
Don't know what Ashby has been drinking but he's been babbling on constantly and annoying the shit out of everybody around him.
Ashby hasn't been drinking, he's just going on and on about how he's "straight edge"

Nate Colbert

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #48 on: June 04, 2015, 11:07:40 am »
"Did someone say shots?"

-Luke Scott

"Not me".

-Cesar

WakePhil

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #49 on: June 04, 2015, 12:15:32 pm »
Correa is illegally drinking an '85 Henri Jayer Richebourg Grand Cru, Cote de Nuits, France. The unmanned spotlight mysteriously follows him through the club. The dense smoke parts as he steps about the room. When he privileges the party with his insights, the volume on the house music automatically drops.

Correa places his hand on Villar's shoulder just as he's about to run barefoot through the wet shower area, Andre' bottle in hand. Villar replaces his bottle of Andre' with a bottle of water and studies base-out scenarios intently on his iPad, absently wiping away the champagne dripping from the ceiling onto his screen.

Lowrie comes in after hearing the music from the training room. Correa shakes his hand. Lowrie's ligament is immediately repaired and he is suddenly adamant that third base is the best place for him.

Correa exits the party and all those remaining suddenly feel a considerable sense of loss. They grab their gear and make their way to the cages without thinking. They find James Earl Jones narrating Correa's batting practice.

Outside MMP, brake lights illuminate the inbound lanes of 45, 10 and 59 for 30 miles in every direction.

Knoxbanedoodle

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #50 on: June 04, 2015, 12:18:03 pm »
Gorgeous.

pots

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #51 on: June 04, 2015, 12:32:47 pm »
Correa is illegally drinking an '85 Henri Jayer Richebourg Grand Cru, Cote de Nuits, France.

Yes but they paid way less than market price for the bottle

WakePhil

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #52 on: June 04, 2015, 12:41:23 pm »
Yes but they paid way less than market price for the bottle
Was gifted to him by Pope Francis.

lc_db

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #53 on: June 04, 2015, 12:43:01 pm »
Dierker is having a martini…  shaken, not stirred

GreatBagwellsBeard

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #54 on: June 04, 2015, 01:21:06 pm »
Charlie Kerfeld is drinking YooHoo with rum.
Drinking for two.

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Dark Star

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #55 on: June 04, 2015, 01:55:31 pm »
Carl Everett is sipping E & J brandy.  Easy Jesus.
Shall we go, you and I, while we can,
Through the transitive nightfall of diamonds?

MikeyBoy

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #56 on: June 04, 2015, 02:52:34 pm »
Carlos Lee picked up the tab, despite Adam Everett saying "I got it!"
"Buenos Dias, shitheads."

The Spleen

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #57 on: June 04, 2015, 04:10:58 pm »
Dickie Thon is already blind drunk...
When the Clark is dead, Spack will eat his spleen. Before he dies, Spack will put his posts under the knife so the Clark will see his threads wiped out forever...

Nate Colbert

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #58 on: June 04, 2015, 04:21:30 pm »
This guy is of course doing jello shots.

Lefty

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #59 on: June 04, 2015, 04:24:19 pm »
Nolan's having a pickleback.
You may ask yourself, "How do I work this?"

Bench

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #60 on: June 04, 2015, 04:27:46 pm »
Dickie Thon is already blind drunk...

Too soon.
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

The Spleen

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #61 on: June 04, 2015, 04:41:46 pm »
Qualls is behind the bar serving up shot after shot...
When the Clark is dead, Spack will eat his spleen. Before he dies, Spack will put his posts under the knife so the Clark will see his threads wiped out forever...

NeilT

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Re: Club Astros
« Reply #62 on: June 04, 2015, 05:02:30 pm »
Qualls is behind the bar serving up shot after shot...

Too soon.
"I think not having the estate tax recognizes the people that are investing... as opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies.”  Charles Grassley