Astros @ Rangers April 11, 2014

[Mr. Happy]

Your lineups for tonight's tilt:

Astros

CFDexter Fowler
RFAlex Presley
CJason Castro
2BJose Altuve
DHChris Carter
1BMarc Krauss
3BMatt Dominguez
LFRobbie Grossman
SSJonathan Villar
Scott Feldman (2-0, 0.66)

stRangers

LF Shin-Soo Choo
SS Elvis Andrus
RF Alex Rios
1B Prince Fielder
3B Kevin Kouzmanoff
DH Mitch Moreland
C J.P. Arencibia
CF Leonys Martin
2B Josh Wilson
TEX: Yu Darvish (1-0, 0.00)

[austro]

"Didn't seem to hit him in the foot." Well, except for that whole change-of-direction thing, you doofus.

[jbm]

Fucking hayseed Rangers announcers. Of course it hit off his foot. It is basic physics. A ball doesn't radically change direction like that by hitting the ground.

[austro]

We're rolling out a #6 hitter with a .143 average (Krauss). How sad is that?

[austro]

Feldman works his way out of a 2nd-and-3rd-with-1-out jam, and the game is still scoreless after 2 innings.

[austro]

Going to the bottom of the 3rd, and the Astros already have 6 Ks. It's quite depressing.

[subnuclear]

Middle of the 4th, Tied 0-0. Only 1 hit so far. in the game (by the Rangers).

[subnuclear]

Good catch there by Krauss!

[subnuclear]

Well, I wanted to watch this game, but my mlb.com is in total meltdown mode.

[OregonStrosFan]

Good catch there by Krauss!

Nice backup dive by Altuve behind him as well.

The chart showing Carter with an .019 average on balls low and away (.089 high and inside) was pretty friggin' ugly though...

[OregonStrosFan]

Middle of the 4th, Tied 0-0. Only 1 hit so far. in the game (by the Rangers).

Damn, another  perfect 5 from Darvish, where the hell is Marwin and why hasn't he got a hit yet?!?

[believin]

Damn, another  perfect 5 from Darvish, where the hell is Marwin and why hasn't he got a hit yet?!?

He's playing 3rd. And he's Matty D.

[jbm]

He's playing 3rd. And he's Matty D.

Now that that indignity is done, pound Darvish and get Feldman a W.

[geezerdonk]

Thanks to Rios for nonchalanting the foul ball before the hit.

[austro]

These pitchers are doing well tonight.

[austro]

And all of a sudden Feldman has lost the strike zone (and control of his curve).

[Ron Brand]

Gotta pull him after the IBB.

[Ron Brand]

Or, gee, not.

[Ron Brand]

Incredibly gutsy game for Feldman.

[Ron Brand]

Suck it, stRangers.

[austro]

Great strikeout of Wilson to get out of the bases-loaded jam.

[OregonStrosFan]

Incredibly gutsy game for Feldman.

[Tips Cap] Hell yes!!! [/Tips Cap]

[Ron Brand]

C'mon Krauss, catch up to one.

[austro]

Incredibly gutsy game for Feldman.

No shit. I'm very proud of him. I hope his teammates can get him a win to put a little sweet in an otherwise bitter day.

[OregonStrosFan]

No shit. I'm very proud of him. I hope his teammates can get him a win to put a little sweet in an otherwise bitter day.

Damn straight, time for the kids to pick him up a "W" here!

[Ron Brand]

Gotta get a lighter bat, Dingo.

[austro]

Wow: Missouri dismissed Dorial Green-Beckham.

[Ron Brand]

Wow: Missouri dismissed Dorial Green-Beckham.

Yeah, that couldn't have been Pinkel's idea.

[austro]

Yeah, that couldn't have been Pinkel's idea.

I think people are starting to get tired of the way some of these guys treat women. And it's about fucking time.

[Ron Brand]

Very nice to see Porter embrace Feldman and speak to him after the last inning.

[austro]

Come on, Qualls, show us you've still got it.

[Ron Brand]

I just think a beard without a mustache looks ridiculous.

[austro]

That was a first-rate sinker for strike two. And then they get a fucking nubber into no-man's land for a single.

[Ron Brand]

And oh yeah, cheer like they just dumped cash in the stands, you jackasses.

[Ron Brand]

Castro could be less stabby back there.

[austro]

Every Ranger fly ball to the outfield results in wild cheers from the stands until it's caught by the outfielder standing in his tracks. Exactly how stupid are these people?

[geezerdonk]

Really glad Feldman won't get the loss.

[OregonStrosFan]

And oh yeah, cheer like they just dumped cash meth in the stands, you jackasses.

Close, but I think you forgot its Arlington so I edited you comment appropriately...

[austro]

Boy, I thought Castro had him.

ETA: But I was obviously way wrong.

[Ron Brand]

Stupid enough to embrace that idiotic claw/antler thing.

[OregonStrosFan]

Really glad Feldman won't get the loss.

I'm suring hoping that doesn't mean the stRangers are about to get a HR... [MLB.TV is always a tad behind...]

[Ron Brand]

Boy, I thought Castro had him.

He's got a hitch in his throw and that was enough.

[austro]

Mouth-breathers are booing the IBB to Fielder.

[Ebby Calvin]

Greetings from Petco.

[Ron Brand]

Yu claps like a second-grade girl.

[austro]

Greetings from Petco.

Sweet. Weekend getaway?

[jbm]

He's got a hitch in his throw and that was enough.

These announcers are right about one thing:  Altuve needs to let the throw come to his glove.  He has been repeating that same mistake much too often.

Nice job by Qualls to hang in there.

[Ron Brand]

Hey, Soria. Fuck you.

[geezerdonk]

Castro is helpless.

[Ron Brand]

Sinatra or Mathis?

Presley.

[austro]

Oh fuck, that was the pitch to hit, Castro.

[geezerdonk]

Castro is helpless.

[Ron Brand]

Oh fuck, that was the pitch to hit, Castro.

Damn, that one was too.

[geezerdonk]

Castro is helpless.

[austro]

Damn, that one was too.

Shouldn't a fourth-year hitter, especially a catcher, know that pitch is coming on that count?

[Ron Brand]

Shouldn't a fourth-year hitter, especially a catcher, know that pitch is coming on that count?

Hey, he went to Stanford.

[Ron Brand]

Well, god damn.

[Ron Brand]

Broken bat dying quail, golf shot on one down and in. Fuck.

[austro]

Broken bat dying quail, golf shot on one down and in. Fuck.

I'm beginning to think somebody doesn't like us.

[Ron Brand]

Gift strike.

[Ebby Calvin]

Sweet. Weekend getaway?

Just finished a three-week trial. Headed home tomorrow. Had to enjoy myself at least one night.

[austro]

Gift strike.

Followed by a gift ball.

[Ron Brand]

Not your fault, Chapman.

[austro]

Fuck. Bases loaded. Chapman out, somebody else (Bass?) coming in.

[Ron Brand]

Washington's jittering like a crack fiend.

[Ron Brand]

FUCK YOU RANGERS!

[Nate Colbert]

Lancaster's Teoscar Hernandez has 2 triples tonight, giving him 5 in his first 9 games.

And fuck the Rainjizz.

[Bench]

Just finished a three-week trial. Headed home tomorrow. Had to enjoy myself at least one night.

Who won?

[Bench]

Greetings from Petco.

Be sure to have some carne asada fries.

[Ron Brand]

Who won?

The lawyers.

[Bench]

The lawyers.

Hopefully that's always the case.

[Bench]

Juuuust foul.

Phew.

[Ron Brand]

Holy shit, Peacock.

[Bench]

Bases loaded on wild pitch. No outs. Peacock showing his tail feathers.

[austro]

Bases loaded on wild pitch. No outs. Peacock showing his tail feathers.

It would also be nice if Castro would get down and block the five-hole.

[Bench]

It would also be nice if Castro would get down and block the five-hole.

At least the runner didn't score from second.

[Bench]

2-0 bases loaded no out. At least make it dramatic!

3-2 FC!

[Bench]

Isn't there some new rule against taking out the catcher's plant leg on a force out at home?

[Ron Brand]

Isn't there some new rule against taking out the catcher's plant leg on a force out at home?

Castro didn't bitch.

[Ron Brand]

He wasn't real happy taking that bat to the neck though.

[Ron Brand]

Hell, Chirinos' back foot is out of the box.

[austro]

Hell, Chirinos' back foot is out of the box.

How can you tell? There's no back line anymore.

Fuck off, Chirinos.

[Bench]

Hell, Chirinos' back foot is out of the box.

The rest of him might as well be too.

[austro]

The rest of him might as well be too.

It is now.

[Ron Brand]

How can you tell? There's no back line anymore.

That's why his bat hit Castro, but you could see it in the overhead shot.

[Ron Brand]

Fuck. You. Rangers.

[Bench]

AMAZING ESCAPE BY PEACOCK

[Reuben]

That... that was some fuckin' inning.

[Ron Brand]

AMAZING ESCAPE BY PEACOCK

Hou-fucking-dini.

[Ron Brand]

I'll give 'em credit, those cocksucker fans are still there. Maybe it's Fireworks Night.

[austro]

I'd just as soon not try it again, though.

[Ron Brand]

STD Night.

[Ron Brand]

Cosmetic Surgery Appreciation Night.

[austro]

STD Night.

Bring one, get one free.

[Ron Brand]

If only there was some way to recognize funny posts...

[austro]

Way to help the cause, Marwin.

[Reuben]

Marwin is not Michael Bourn-fast going down the line...

[Ron Brand]

I hate pulling Dominguez' glove for that forceout.

[austro]

I hate pulling Dominguez' glove for that forceout.

No shit. It's going to take a fluke homer to win this, and I like Dominguez's chances a lot more than Marwin's.

[Ron Brand]

Villar looked particularly shitty in that AB.

[Reuben]

God how I fucking hate Neil fucking Cotts.

[austro]

Villar looked particularly shitty in that AB.

That does not make him stand out.

[austro]

Here comes the Peacock show again.

[Ron Brand]

And the fans go ape shit again.

[austro]

Jesus, Castro backhands everything.

[Reuben]

Thank you Choo!

[Ron Brand]

Whew.

[Reuben]

Dammit. Wanted Altuve to deliver something there.

[Ron Brand]

One day we will look upon these years as the Forbidden Zone of our memory.

[Ron Brand]

This Ron Washington commercial is strangely amusing.

[Bench]

This Ron Washington metro pcs ad will forever be playing in the forbidden zone.

[Ron Brand]

Nice gums there, lady.

[Bench]

Peacock gets fielder to bounce out 6-3. He has somehow settled in.

[Ron Brand]

You spoke too soon. But I love it when Fielder grounds out.

[Bench]

Kouzmawhatever singles lazily to right. One on one out.

[Ron Brand]

Hard to defend the 54' fastball.

[austro]

Trotting Peacock out there inning after inning feels like Russian roulette. One of these innings it's going to go horribly wrong.

[Ron Brand]

Sit your ass down, Moreland.

[Ron Brand]

Trotting Peacock out there inning after inning feels like Russian roulette. One of these innings it's going to go horribly wrong.

As a starter though, he's the best available guy.

[Bench]

Trotting Peacock out there inning after inning feels like Russian roulette. One of these innings it's going to go horribly wrong.

Here's to lucky 13.

[austro]

As a starter though, he's the best available guy.

Yeah, I don't disagree with the strategy. I just worry about it.

Good grief, Castro, turn the glove over.

[Bench]

Don't walk the catcher who has shown no ability to put the ball in play please.

[Bench]

I guess that's on me.

[Ron Brand]

Did he touch third?

[austro]

Fuck fuck, fuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck.

[Bench]

If only altuve were taller...

[Reuben]

I guess that's on me.

No, it's on fucking Ashby, who said earlier in the AB, "this guy just doesn't have that 'I'm gonna win the game' look to me" or some shit. Fucking asshole.

[Ron Brand]

No, it's on fucking Ashby, who said earlier in the AB, "this guy just doesn't have that 'I'm gonna win the game' look to me" or some shit. Fucking asshole.

That's insipid.

[Ebby Calvin]

Who won?

Don't know yet.

[Mr. Happy]

A few game stats stuck out to me. Only two measly hits in 12 frames. This club is now hitting a putrid .188 on the season. The hitters racked up 11 strike outs to boot. The pitchers allowed plenty of traffic tonight, including nine free passes, but they held up beautifully for 11.2 innings. Peacock threw 58 pitches in 2.2 innings, only 28 for strikes. Shitfuck. Zitz 'em and go pound Budweiser. Gotta get 'em tomorrow, boys!

[austro]

A few game stats stuck out to me. Only two measly hits in 12 frames. This club is now hitting a putrid .188 on the season. The hitters racked up 11 strike outs to boot. The pitchers allowed plenty of traffic tonight, including nine free passes, but they held up beautifully for 11.2 innings. Peacock threw 58 pitches in 2.2 innings, only 28 for strikes. Shitfuck. Zitz 'em and go pound Budweiser. Gotta get 'em tomorrow, boys!

They're trotting up several guys who are hitting under .200, and one who is hitting under .100. It's pathetic.

[Ron Brand]

Yeah, but they were facing Darvish, who hasn't exactly been someone any team slaps around consistently. And don't forget the intentional walk - or was it two? - by Peacock that inflated his already bad pitch line. He did settle down and gave the team some damn fine work in very tough situations. Porter was managing his ass off too.

I enjoyed the game, despite the outcome, and Feldman was outstanding.

I don't get the continuation of the Carter Experiment. Maybe it just ends when Singleton comes up.

[Ron Brand]

Special guest recap of last night's game.

[Mr. Happy]

Yeah, but they were facing Darvish, who hasn't exactly been someone any team slaps around consistently. And don't forget the intentional walk - or was it two? - by Peacock that inflated his already bad pitch line. He did settle down and gave the team some damn fine work in very tough situations. Porter was managing his ass off too.

I enjoyed the game, despite the outcome, and Feldman was outstanding.

I don't get the continuation of the Carter Experiment. Maybe it just ends when Singleton comes up.

Actually, I thought that was Porter's finest work as skipper. Hopefully, the Carter experiment will be over soon. He's fucking clueless.

[Mr. Happy]

Special guest recap of last night's game.

Nice work, Guv!!! However, the game was delightful, except for the outcome. I love and adore pitchers' duels. It was reminiscent of the Astros of long ago.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

I missed the game to go see The Mavericks. Damn, that Raul Malo can sing his ample ass off.

[flysig]

Fuck. You. Rangers.

Amen and absolution.

[Reuben]

Nice work, Guv!!! However, the game was delightful, except for the outcome. I love and adore pitchers' duels. It was reminiscent of the Astros of long ago.

+1 on all counts. So, uh, 5?

[Mr. Happy]

+1 on all counts. So, uh, 5?

I was thinking about all those glorious low scoring games in the Dome behind J.R. Richard, Don Wilson, Larry Dierker, Mike Scott and Nolan Ryan. Back then, if the pitcher gave up one run, he probably took an L. There were lots of 1-0 and 2-1 games.