Jim Crane, master of public relations

[MusicMan]

"It doesn't bother me that people want us to spend more money," Crane said. "But it's not their money. This is a private company, even though it's got a public flair to it. If they want to write a check for 10 million bucks, they can give me a call."

[Waldo]

Was just coming here to post that.  I could have found a few more tactful ways to say that.

[austro]

"It doesn't bother me that people want us to spend more money," Crane said. "But it's not their money. This is a private company, even though it's got a public flair to it. If they want to write a check for 10 million bucks, they can give me a call."

Maybe that fucker ought to look a little more closely at the financing deal for his little playpen.

[Noe]

"It doesn't bother me that people want us to spend more money," Crane said. "But it's not their money. This is a private company, even though it's got a public flair to it. If they want to write a check for 10 million bucks, they can give me a call."

That is the most insane customer service business comment I've ever read. "A private company with a public flair"? Seriously? He may as well say "Give me your business and then get out of my way and don't speak to me... just drop the cash here, enjoy the 2 hours you paid for and leave me alone!" It would have made for better copy too.

[MusicMan]

That is the most insane customer service business comment I've ever read. "A private company with a public flair"? Seriously? He may as well say "Give me your business and then get out of my way and don't speak to me... just drop the cash here, enjoy the 2 hours you paid for and leave me alone!" It would have made for better copy too.

He seriously needs to STFU.  He's hired smart people.  Stay out of their way and don't make it worse for them.

[Noe]

He seriously needs to STFU.  He's hired smart people.  Stay out of their way and don't make it worse for them.

Ahhh-greed!

[austro]

He seriously needs to STFU.  He's hired smart people.  Stay out of their way and don't make it worse for them.

Who would have thought that Pam Gardner represented the high point in Astros marketing?

[Navin R Johnson]

What an absolute clown. 

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

You know what, he is exactly right. But that doesn't make him any less of a cocksucker.

[Limey]

You know what, he is exactly right. But that doesn't make him any less of a cocksucker.

How is he right?  Every single penny that his "private company" will earn, comes out of the pockets of you and I.  Either directly from sales of tickets, concessions and merchandise, or indirectly from TV revenue which is predicated on selling us as a block of consumers to be advertised to, or through grants and other assistance from local and state authorities - i.e. our tax dollars at work.

So when he says, "if you don't like that I'm spending all your money and giving you shit in return, you should give me more money or shut the fuck up"...is he right?

The fact that my decision to boycott baseball has a direct, if incredibly minor, impact on the Astros is something that I regret less and less each day.

[Limey]

Also, alternative headlines:

"Ones of People Shocked that Sports Franchise Owner is Giant, Festering Douchebag"

[Ebby Calvin]

He seriously needs to STFU.  He's hired smart people.  Stay out of their way and don't make it worse for them.

Yep.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

How is he right? 

I mean he's right when he says it's his diner and he can have a shitty menu if he wants. You don't have to eat there.

But who would open a diner and only serve (besides Roy) half cooked unseasoned crap with the expectation people would want to dine there?

[Jacksonian]

How is he right?  Every single penny that his "private company" will earn, comes out of the pockets of you and I.  Either directly from sales of tickets, concessions and merchandise, or indirectly from TV revenue which is predicated on selling us as a block of consumers to be advertised to, or through grants and other assistance from local and state authorities - i.e. our tax dollars at work.

So when he says, "if you don't like that I'm spending all your money and giving you shit in return, you should give me more money or shut the fuck up"...is he right?

The fact that my decision to boycott baseball has a direct, if incredibly minor, impact on the Astros is something that I regret less and less each day.

How is this different from any other company?  They all get their revenue either directly or indirectly from the individual consumer.  I will say that it seems to me the business side of the Astros is being run like the airlines.

[Limey]

How is this different from any other company?  They all get their revenue either directly or indirectly from the individual consumer.  I will say that it seems to me the business side of the Astros is being run like the airlines.

Agreed.  Except that, often, people have to fly, often with little or no choice as to which airline.

People never have to go to or watch a baseball game - there are many, many, many alternatives.

[Limey]

I mean he's right when he says it's his diner and he can have a shitty menu if he wants. You don't have to eat there.

But who would open a diner and only serve (besides Roy) half cooked unseasoned crap with the expectation people would want to dine there?

Gotcha and agreed.

[Fredia]

one word comes to mind douche

[Jacksonian]

Agreed.  Except that, often, people have to fly, often with little or no choice as to which airline.

People never have to go to or watch a baseball game - there are many, many, many alternatives.

How many individuals of their own accord, not related to any work, with money out of their own pockets have to fly?  I don't think it's that many, if any.

Many have to fly for work.  I would argue there are a fair number who will have to go to an Astros game because of work.

[Limey]

How many individuals of their own accord, not related to any work, with money out of their own pockets have to fly?  I don't think it's that many, if any.

Many have to fly for work.  I would argue there are a fair number who will have to go to an Astros game because of work.

People "have" to fly because it's the 21st century, and families / friends are spread around the globe.  You can chose not to fly for personal or even business (see Den, Mad), but it puts a much greater strain on your life to avoid flying completely.  It has put zero strain on my life to give up the Astros and, while I totally understand that it is not the same value proposition for some/many others, attendance and TV ratings show that I am not alone.

Baseball is entertainment.  Flying is a virtual necessity of modern life.

[Navin R Johnson]

You know what, he is exactly right. But that doesn't make him any less of a cocksucker.

"It doesn't bother me that people want us to spend more money," Crane said

-So far so good.

"But it's not their money.

-This is true

This is a private company,

-Yep

even though it's got a public flair to it.

-Now this is getting weird, might be time to stop talking Jimbo

If they want to write a check for 10 million bucks, they can give me a call."

-Facepalm

It is hard to imagine someone being more tone deaf to the reality of his consumers as this turd is.   If they made a movie about a clueless owner, and used some of the things Jim has said/done, you would be shaking your head thinking the movie was going too far over the top.

[MusicMan]

We're rapidly approaching the part where the players are stripping pieces off his standee in the locker room.

[Limey]

If they made a movie about a clueless owner, and used some of the things Jim has said/done, you would be shaking your head thinking the movie was going too far over the top.

They have.

[Mr. Happy]

That has to be ranked in the top ten most tone-deaf owner's remarks of all time. I can't wait to see how and what he says to undo this damage. Douchebag. And I was backing him before this boneheaded remark too.

[SoonerJim]

That has to be ranked in the top ten most tone-deaf owner's remarks of all time. I can't wait to see how and what he says to undo this damage. Douchebag. And I was backing him before this boneheaded remark too.

The Wall St Journal in which the remark is made. The new broadcast contract gives them the money they seek. A $25 million payroll barely reaches that of A-Rod

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324532004578358762117791922.html

[The Spleen]

In other news... have you seen the new Sunday alternate caps?

[subnuclear]

An important part of the process is picking up as many top-5 draft picks as possible, but you can't say you are building an intentionally bad team to do precisely that. Everyone knows that's part of what is going on, so someone somewhere is going to have to lie.

[Limey]

That has to be ranked in the top ten most tone-deaf owner's remarks of all time. I can't wait to see how and what he says to undo this damage. Douchebag. And I was backing him before this boneheaded remark too.

Just wait a few years, until he starts offloading the young talent as it becomes expensive, because the current level of AISs don't support an increase in payroll.  He may say this while pretending to butt-fuck Sam Houston's horse.

[MusicMan]

Just wait a few years, until he starts offloading the young talent as it becomes expensive, because the current level of AISs don't support an increase in payroll.  He may say this while pretending to butt-fuck Sam Houston's horse.

Pretending?

[Limey]

Pretending?

It's made of stone.  No amount of lube is going to help.

[Limey]

In other news... have you seen the new Sunday alternate caps?

Elliot Spitzer?

[NeilT]

one word comes to mind douche

I think Fredia just called Limey a douche.

[roadrunner]

I'd still rather have him than Drayton any day of the week.

[Limey]

I'd still rather have him than Drayton any day of the week.

I think it goes Early Drayton > Crane > Late Drayton.

I really liked the guy who kept Bidge and Bags around, signed Mo Alou and rented the Sea Hag for a few months.

[jaklewein]

Most of the other Owners out there are thinking the same thing...just not saying it.  Don't get me wrong, I don't know why you'd say that, but at the very least he's being honest.

I really don't give a shit what he says as long as he and his staff build a winner.  If the team eventually off loads talent instead of raising payroll (as alluded to by Limey) then I'll give a shit.

[juliogotay]

I think it goes Early Drayton > Crane > Late Drayton.

I really liked the guy who kept Bidge and Bags around, signed Mo Alou and rented the Sea Hag for a few months.

I'm thinking you liked Drayton when the Hun was around to keep him in line.

[Bench]

I'm thinking you liked Drayton when the Hun was around to keep him in line.

Limey's also a really big fan of Greg Swindell.

[MusicMan]

Limey's also a really big fan of Greg Swindell.

I'm a fan of any guy who wanted to fight Roger Clemens.

[ferret]

Marie Antoinette Crane's latest decree can bookend what he said in August, "Crane said he believes “sophisticated baseball fans” are in tune with the team’s plan to rebuild through the farm system"  A nice chinese finger puzzle there.  Either agree or join the hoi polloi.

So, when he solicits fans opinions on Tal's Hill, the food, the new clothes, he's just bullshitting you.  He cares fuckall for anyone without 10 million dollars. 
http://blog.chron.com/ultimateastros/2012/08/16/crane-remaining-optimistic-despite-astros-dismal-season/

[Noe]

Marie Antoinette Crane's latest decree....

Dude, that is awesome!

[ferret]

Dude, that is awesome!

"Let them fuck Sam Houston's horse!" he replied to the revolting peasants.

[juliogotay]

Marie Antoinette Crane's latest decree can bookend what he said in August, "Crane said he believes “sophisticated baseball fans” are in tune with the team’s plan to rebuild through the farm system"  A nice chinese finger puzzle there.  Either agree or join the hoi polloi.

So, when he solicits fans opinions on Tal's Hill, the food, the new clothes, he's just bullshitting you.  He cares fuckall for anyone without 10 million dollars. 
http://blog.chron.com/ultimateastros/2012/08/16/crane-remaining-optimistic-despite-astros-dismal-season/

Yes, because there is so many of us sophisticated fans.

[ferret]

Yes, because there is so many of us sophisticated fans.

Judging by the number who are nodding their heads sagely and predicting 95 wins just around the corner, there does seem to be a lot of them.

[subnuclear]

A lot of the sophisicated fans screamed bloody murder at Jayson Werth's contract, but he really helped that team last year.

[MusicMan]

Judging by the number who are nodding their heads sagely and predicting 95 wins just around the corner, there does seem to be a lot of them.

"5 years" is "just around the corner?"

5 years ago, I didn't know shit.

[ferret]

"5 years" is "just around the corner?"

5 years ago, I didn't know shit.

5 years is a blink. 

[MusicMan]

5 years is a blink. 

In geological or historical terms.  But in baseball terms, 5 years ago, the best player in baseball couldn't even drive yet.

[Bench]

In geological or historical terms.  But in baseball terms, 5 years ago, the best player in baseball couldn't even drive yet.

And 5 years ago, the best player in baseball turned 40 years old.

[Navin R Johnson]

In 5 years, and after 5 years of a sub 25 million dollar payrolls, will CraneCo have sucked enough money out of the fans and MLB revenue sharing streams to be at least close to paying down their debt?  At that point will CraneCo be willing to pay enough to field a .500 team, or will this cocksucker still be asking us fans to pool together money to buy them players?

[Limey]

In 5 years, and after 5 years of a sub 25 million dollar payrolls, will CraneCo have sucked enough money out of the fans and MLB revenue sharing streams to be at least close to paying down their debt?  At that point will CraneCo be willing to pay enough to field a .500 team, or will this cocksucker still be asking us fans to pool together money to buy them players?

They'll be paying down the debt for decades.

Take out a 30-year mortgage, and see how much of a dent you've made in it after 5 years!

[Guinness]

They'll be paying down the debt for decades.

Take out a 30-year mortgage, and see how much of a dent you've made in it after 5 years!

They can get on one of those plans where they make 2 payments a month; maybe they could add a little extra to the principal every month, you know, that kind of thing.

[juliogotay]

They can get on one of those plans where they make 2 payments a month; maybe they could add a little extra to the principal every month, you know, that kind of thing.

Maybe a reverse mortgage.

[austro]

And 5 years ago, the best player in baseball turned 40 years old.

Please. Pujols isn't any older than 39 now.

[NeilT]

This is such bullshit.  At the team's price tag, $10,000,000 wouldn't begin to buy a say on team management.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

This is such bullshit.  At the team's price tag, $10,000,000 wouldn't begin to buy a say on team management.

But he said it would. I wish I had an extra $10,000,000.00 laying around or even stashed under my mattress to prove you wrong.

[moriartp]

This is such bullshit.  At the team's price tag, $10,000,000 wouldn't begin to buy a say on team management.

No, but it would buy a free agent.

[austro]

No, but it would buy a free agent.

Or a starting lineup, more likely.

[MusicMan]

Or a starting lineup, more likely.

2 chicks at the same time, man.

[remy]

2 chicks at the same time, man.

Fuckin a.

[VirtualBob]

Yes, because there is so many of us sophisticated fans.

Maybe we should start the Emperor's New Fanclub.

[MusicMan]

Yes, because there is so many of us sophisticated fans.

/raises pinky
//sips tea dismissively

[Houston]

Today's Date in History: 1871 - The National Association of Professional Base Ball Players is founded, setting the stage for the future National League in 1876. The entry fee for a National Association franchise is set at $10.

Owner Obadiah Crane back then probably said: "If they want to write a check for 50 cents, they can give me a call" and fans were outraged!

[ValpoCory]

"It doesn't bother me that people want us to spend more money," Crane said. "But it's not their money. This is a private company, even though it's got a public flair to it. If they want to write a check for 10 million bucks, they can give me a call."

So apparently, the only reason he's not signing better players is money.  

But that goes against Luhnow's plan, and wouldn't "push the organization forward":

The Astros are treating this season as a form of spring training—a time to evaluate young players. They'll have the youngest team in the majors. "Are they going to be part of our core in four or five years?" Astros general manager Jeff Luhnow said of the kids. "We need to find out. If you take away their job and give it to a veteran, you delay finding it out. It doesn't push the organization forward."

If indeed Crane put no restrictions on Luhnow with his blank sheet of paper gesture, then he should say no fan, even if he sent me a check for 100 million bucks, can make us continue to make "bad" decisions that won't push our organization forward.

But instead, apparently if you have $10 million, Crane will ask Luhnow for his blank sheet of paper back.

[Ron Brand]

I don't know how you got from

"This is a private company, even though it's got a public flair to it. If they want to write a check for 10 million bucks, they can give me a call."

to

But instead, apparently if you have $10 million, Crane will ask Luhnow for his blank sheet of paper back.

To me, all he's saying is that it's a private company. If you want input on the decisions being made, the price of entry is $10MM. He's not saying that if you give him ten million and tell him to go get Player X, that he'll then blow off the Plan and go do your bidding.

[Ty in Tampa]

He's not saying that if you give him ten million and tell him to go get Player X, that he'll then blow off the Plan and go do your bidding.

Shit.

/deletes Kickstarter page

[ValpoCory]

I don't know how you got from
to

The key part of the Crane quote to which I was referring was

"It doesn't bother me that people want us to spend more money," Crane said. "But it's not their money.

It can be inferred that Crane is saying that he will "spend more money" if you put up the money.

Now obviously Crane was speaking hypothetically with that tongue-in-cheek comment, and he's not formally declaring anything.

[BizidyDizidy]

Haven't seen this level of asininity in a while - glad to see people still care enough.

[Ron Brand]

It can be inferred that Crane is saying that he will "spend more money" if you put up the money.

I just don't read it that way at all.

[chuck]

I just don't read it that way at all.

I read it differently than you. It sounds to me like he's saying 'If you give me $10MM I'll go sign a player.' But I don't really care one way or the other. It's fairly dickish in either reading.

[moriartp]

Deeper readings of the statement miss the point. I don't think Crane meant "write us a check and we'll sign your player." I also don't think he meant "write us a check and we'll give you a say." I think it's just the way he chose to say "WFW. Now STFU, I've got a helicopter to catch."

[ValpoCory]

Deeper readings of the statement miss the point. I don't think Crane meant "write us a check and we'll sign your player." I also don't think he meant "write us a check and we'll give you a say." I think it's just the way he chose to say "WFW. Now STFU, I've got a helicopter to catch."

Agreed. 

[Noe]

Maybe he was saying "Gimme 10 mil and I'll let you kiss my arse". Or maybe not.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Deeper readings of the statement miss the point. I don't think Crane meant "write us a check and we'll sign your player." I also don't think he meant "write us a check and we'll give you a say." I think it's just the way he chose to say "WFW. Now STFU, I've got a helicopter to catch."

Anyway you read it, he's still a major cunt.

[Mr. Happy]

Anyway you read it, he's still a major cunt.

Agreed. It was not his finest hour.

[Bench]

BUT THE UNIFORMS ARE PRETTY NICE!

[Fredia]

true but they hid the color of the rainbow