Author Topic: QBs on Facebook (Read 14733 times)

EasTexAstro · « **on:** October 11, 2012, 10:14:03 am »

Part 2

subnuclear · « **Reply #1 on:** October 11, 2012, 10:30:42 am »

And Shaub makes an appearance!

WakePhil · « **Reply #2 on:** October 11, 2012, 03:31:26 pm »

Predictably, not nearly as funny, but I did laugh at the Russell Wilson/Rodgers exchange again.

BudGirl · « **Reply #3 on:** October 11, 2012, 04:06:55 pm »

You didn't think the RGIII repeats was kind of funny?

WakePhil · « **Reply #4 on:** October 11, 2012, 04:15:02 pm »

Quote from: BudGirl on October 11, 2012, 04:06:55 pm

You didn't think the RGIII repeats was kind of funny?

Yeah, that was probably my second favorite part. The other one was just so consistently hilarious, impossible to top. Not sure they should have tried.

OregonStrosFan · « **Reply #5 on:** October 15, 2012, 04:23:25 pm »

Looks like it is going to be a weekly series... 2012-1015 LINK

Waldo · « **Reply #6 on:** October 15, 2012, 09:31:58 pm »

These would be better if they were "The Dugout" style, i.e. with less punctuation and worse grammar/spelling.

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #7 on:** October 16, 2012, 05:50:10 am »

Quote from: Waldo on October 15, 2012, 09:31:58 pm

These would be better if they were "The Dugout" style, i.e. with less punctuation and worse grammar/spelling.

I think it's funnier than the "Dugout."

GreatBagwellsBeard · « **Reply #8 on:** October 16, 2012, 10:40:35 am »

Quote from: Waldo on October 15, 2012, 09:31:58 pm

These would be better if they were "The Dugout" style, i.e. with less punctuation and worse grammar/spelling.

Big Ben = JI

JIM THOME

EasTexAstro · « **Reply #9 on:** October 22, 2012, 01:24:28 pm »

http://profootballmock.com/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-week-7-enter-the-roger/

In case someone is still interested.

OregonStrosFan · « **Reply #10 on:** October 30, 2012, 06:04:40 pm »

"Listen guys, before you start laughing, I just want to say one thing..."

And it just keeps getting better... Week 8: Halloween

EasTexAstro · « **Reply #11 on:** November 06, 2012, 02:29:05 pm »

Who are YOU voting for

subnuclear · « **Reply #12 on:** November 06, 2012, 02:44:26 pm »

Really should be a sitcom or something.

OregonStrosFan · « **Reply #13 on:** November 07, 2012, 06:11:42 pm »

Tim Tebow's Lost Emails

Limey · « **Reply #14 on:** November 14, 2012, 01:24:52 pm »

Coaches Challenge edition

drew corleone · « **Reply #15 on:** November 14, 2012, 03:03:47 pm »

Mike Brown's "dibs" was the highlight of that one.

Nate in IA · « **Reply #16 on:** November 14, 2012, 07:32:38 pm »

Yeah, not too many laughs in the latest one. Enjoyable diversion nonetheless.

EasTexAstro · « **Reply #17 on:** November 26, 2012, 10:30:01 am »

meh: http://profootballmock.com/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-the-playoff-picture/

Limey · « **Reply #18 on:** November 26, 2012, 10:38:38 am »

Quote from: EasTexAstro on November 26, 2012, 10:30:01 am

meh:

Brandon Moore complaining that his ass smells like Mark Sanchez was pretty good.

OregonStrosFan · « **Reply #19 on:** November 26, 2012, 02:46:43 pm »

Quote from: Limey on November 26, 2012, 10:38:38 am

Brandon Moore complaining that his ass smells like Mark Sanchez was pretty good.

There were a couple of bits-o-humor in this one, but overall I thought this week was their poorest performance to date.

austro · « **Reply #20 on:** November 26, 2012, 07:05:20 pm »

I liked this one:

RG III: Oh no! You mean we might have to play Dallas in a big late-season showdown? How could we ever win a game like that?
Drew Brees: Pretty much just by showing up.

Limey · « **Reply #21 on:** December 04, 2012, 02:55:14 pm »

Good one this week.

http://profootballmock.com/nfl-qbs-on-facebook-divisional-rivalries/

EasTexAstro · « **Reply #22 on:** December 10, 2012, 10:35:33 am »

opposite day

OregonStrosFan · « **Reply #23 on:** December 10, 2012, 11:25:09 am »

Quote from: EasTexAstro on December 10, 2012, 10:35:33 am

opposite day

Some solid retorts this week. Among my favorite: Drew Brees: "[Eli] Manning, if you were any more of a dick, Brett Favre would be texting pictures of you to random New York skanks."

chuck · « **Reply #24 on:** December 10, 2012, 12:57:02 pm »

The Hasselbeck hairbrush sequence was pretty good.

EasTexAstro · « **Reply #25 on:** December 17, 2012, 11:52:08 am »

Merry Chrushmas!

Limey · « **Reply #26 on:** December 17, 2012, 01:52:04 pm »

Quote from: EasTexAstro on December 17, 2012, 11:52:08 am

Merry Chrushmas!

That...was pretty fucking funny.

drew corleone · « **Reply #27 on:** December 17, 2012, 02:22:57 pm »

That is the best one yet.

ybbodeus · « **Reply #28 on:** December 18, 2012, 06:01:12 pm »

Agreed.

Limey · « **Reply #29 on:** December 27, 2012, 04:26:50 pm »

Back to normality

The Reothlisberger shit is always welcome though. What a giant tool that guy is.

See also: Hurricane Sandy Victims Receive Roethlisberger’s Sexually Disturbing Thoughts And Prayers

Astros Fan in Big D · « **Reply #30 on:** December 28, 2012, 06:43:51 am »

Quote from: Limey on December 27, 2012, 04:26:50 pm

Back to normality

The Reothlisberger shit is always welcome though. What a giant tool that guy is.

See also: Hurricane Sandy Victims Receive Roethlisberger’s Sexually Disturbing Thoughts And Prayers

If I may borrow your line: As usual, The Onion gets it right.

Limey · « **Reply #31 on:** December 31, 2012, 10:05:34 am »

Crappy New Year

Brady: "How do you drop from Number 1 to Number 3?"
Manning: "By playing like Number 2."
Roethlisberger: "They're comparing Matt Schaub to a piece of poop."

Limey · « **Reply #32 on:** January 07, 2013, 10:35:48 am »

Really very good this week: Wild Card Bitches

With a nice little unexpected cameo.

Nate in IA · « **Reply #33 on:** January 08, 2013, 09:56:12 pm »

I laughed pretty hard at Wild Card Bitches. Good stuff there...

BudGirl · « **Reply #34 on:** January 14, 2013, 10:20:47 am »

Divisional Round

Limey · « **Reply #35 on:** January 22, 2013, 10:25:24 am »

And then there were two

EasTexAstro · « **Reply #36 on:** January 30, 2013, 09:46:48 am »

Mark My Words

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #37 on:** January 30, 2013, 01:45:31 pm »

Quote from: OregonStrosFan on December 10, 2012, 11:25:09 am

Some solid retorts this week. Among my favorite: Drew Brees: "[Eli] Manning, if you were any more of a dick, Brett Favre would be texting pictures of you to random New York skanks."

Drew Brees is spot on about Payton Manning. When the Colts lost to the Saints in the Super Bowl, Payton refused to shake hands with Brees. Based on personal experience with the Mannings, starting with Archie, they're all about the Mannings. Only.

NeilT · « **Reply #38 on:** January 30, 2013, 01:51:55 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on January 30, 2013, 01:45:31 pm

Drew Brees is spot on about Payton Manning. When the Colts lost to the Saints in the Super Bowl, Payton refused to shake hands with Brees. Based on personal experience with the Mannings, starting with Archie, they're all about the Mannings. Only.

Wait, is that really Drew Brees posting on FaceBook? I thought all of this was just made up?

ybbodeus · « **Reply #39 on:** January 30, 2013, 01:53:05 pm »

Beats a pro bowl edition, I suppose.

JimR · « **Reply #40 on:** January 30, 2013, 01:55:38 pm »

Quote from: NeilT on January 30, 2013, 01:51:55 pm

Wait, is that really Drew Brees posting on FaceBook? I thought all of this was just made up?

cynic

Clark in Denver · « **Reply #41 on:** January 30, 2013, 03:11:32 pm »

Quote from: Mr. Happy on January 30, 2013, 01:45:31 pm

Based on personal experience with the Mannings, starting with Archie, they're all about the Mannings. Only.

This does not jive with my experience with them at all.

Mr. Happy · « **Reply #42 on:** January 30, 2013, 03:13:08 pm »

Quote from: Clark in Denver on January 30, 2013, 03:11:32 pm

This does not jive with my experience with them at all.

I'm glad.

EasTexAstro · « **Reply #43 on:** February 08, 2013, 12:48:57 pm »

Just to end the season

Nate in IA · « **Reply #44 on:** February 09, 2013, 06:33:15 pm »

Do love the ode to Cleveland.

And Russell Wilson.

Limey · « **Reply #45 on:** August 30, 2013, 02:57:45 pm »

BTW, they're back for the new season.

GreatBagwellsBeard · « **Reply #46 on:** August 30, 2013, 03:14:18 pm »

Quote

.ProFootballMock's lawyers like this

It's gonna be a good season.

Limey · « **Reply #47 on:** September 09, 2013, 01:11:30 pm »

Week 1

JOE FLACCO: SUCK MY ICK, MANNING!

JAY CUTLER: What the hell’s wrong with your replies, Flacco?

MATT SCHAUB: Oh I get it. It’s because his “D” is malfunctioning.

JOE FLACCO'S WIFE: I can confirm this.

BEN ROETHLISBERGER: You see, it’s funny because it’s a reference to both the crappy Baltimore defense, and Joe Flacco’s impotence.

Nate in IA · « **Reply #48 on:** September 10, 2013, 07:09:26 pm »

Some funny but it ended with a whimper. Like most of the teams, they weren't quite ready for the season to start.

Limey · « **Reply #49 on:** September 16, 2013, 04:42:33 pm »

Week 2

Quote

AARON RODGERS: You lost our bet Griffin, so now you have to dog-sit for me in January while we’re in the playoffs

MICHAEL VICK: I’ll do it!

AARON RODGERS: The fuck you will

Limey · « **Reply #50 on:** September 30, 2013, 03:13:53 pm »

This week's entry is called "Intervenception". Yes, yes it is.

Quote

CAM NEWTON
That reminds me of a tongue twister my Grandma taught me when I was little:

CAM NEWTON
“How many picks will a Matt Schaub flick before he flicks his 6th Pick-6?”

Nate in IA · « **Reply #51 on:** September 30, 2013, 09:43:12 pm »

Last weeks' Opposite Day '13" was pretty darn good too..

Limey · « **Reply #52 on:** October 07, 2013, 11:34:16 am »

Pinks and Picks

Once again, Schaub gets let off (almost) by a more famous QB shitting his bed.

Quote

COLIN KAEPERNICK: Breast cancer awareness? Since when is that a thing?

ANDY DALTON: Kaepernick, you idiot. Did you NOT notice the pink gloves and sneakers? The pink TV graphics?

CAM NEWTON: ALL OUR PROFILE PICTURES ARE PINK, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE.

COLIN KAEPERNICK: I just assumed it was in honor of “Matt Schaub is a Weak Armed Little Girl” month.

COLIN KAEPERNICK: Oh wait. Silly me. EVERY month is “Matt Schaub is a Weak Armed Little Girl” month. HAHAHA.

OregonStrosFan · « **Reply #53 on:** October 07, 2013, 01:27:04 pm »

Quote from: Limey on October 07, 2013, 11:34:16 am

Pinks and Picks

Once again, Schaub gets let off (almost) by a more famous QB shitting his bed.

Or there was this exchange...

COLIN KAEPERNICK: Way to Schitt the bed on national TV, Schaub!

COLIN KAEPERNICK: Oh man, there were just SO many great moments of you failing yesterday. I can’t even pick one as my favorite.

RGIII: Maybe you could pick-6?

Limey · « **Reply #54 on:** October 17, 2013, 02:58:00 pm »

The Red Zone, is full of highlights and nothing else. Like this one:

Quote

PEYTON MANNING: So I bet 150 big ones on the Jaguars, took the points, and kept the score close-ish. EASY MONEY, BITCHES.
PETE ROSE, MICHAEL JORDAN, and ART SCHLICTER like this

TOM BRADY: So that terrible interception you threw that got returned for a touchdown was intentional?

PEYTON MANNING: OBVIOUSLY. I don’t throw pick-6’s for real. Who do I look like, Matt Schaub?

JOE FLACCO: No, he’s got about a foot less forehead than you. Yet somehow, you still have more hair than him.

Also, Costas' profile pic nearly made me spit gum.

Limey · « **Reply #55 on:** November 04, 2013, 02:14:59 pm »

A weak effort this week, but Richie Incognito and even Case Keenum get in there.

Limey · « **Reply #56 on:** January 03, 2014, 02:05:54 pm »

Intercepted Texts: Aaron Rogers addresses the gay rumours.

NeilT · « **Reply #57 on:** January 03, 2014, 03:50:03 pm »

Quote from: Limey on January 03, 2014, 02:05:54 pm

Intercepted Texts: Aaron Rogers addresses the gay rumours.

That's hilarious.

Limey · « **Reply #58 on:** January 13, 2014, 04:05:51 pm »

Somewhat of a rinse-repeat (again) this week. But it does have this excellent homage to the old "Wendy" joke:

Quote

TOM BRADY: Look Manning, we all know that Tinkertoy neck of yours is going to fall apart any day now.

TOM BRADY: There's a good chance this will be our last meeting ever. So we need to place a serious wager on this game.

PEYTON MANNING: Forget it, jizzrod. You're not sleeping with my wife. We've been over this. She's allergic to Axe body wash.

TOM BRADY: No, this isn’t about your wife. I want to wager something important this time.

PEYTON MANNING: Fine. If I win, you have to tattoo “Peyton’s Bitch” on your forehead.

TOM BRADY: Okay. And if I win, you have to tattoo “I’m an overrated, untalented, floating toilet pretzel of a man, and on my best day, I’m not fit to carry Tom Brady’s enormous jockstrap to the Patriots’ official team laundromat, which is probably for the best since it would just end up getting picked off when I tried to drop it in the hamper anyway” on YOUR forehead.

CARSON PALMER: What’ll he do with all the leftover space?

ELI MANNING: I’m guessing a Papa John’s ad.

Limey · « **Reply #59 on:** January 27, 2014, 01:43:50 pm »

In the Year 2040:

AARON RODGERS (who has traveled through time to 2040): So how have the Cowboys been doing?

COLIN KAEPERNICK: Not well. For the last 29 years, their final game of each season has been a “win-and-you’re-in” match for the NFC East title. They’re lost every game so far.

AARON RODGERS: Jesus. Every game?

CONNOR BRIDGEWATER-BRADY*: Yep. 10 to the New York Giants, 9 to the Philadelphia Eagles, and 10 to the Washington Terrible Asian Road Drivers.

* The NFL is now overrun with the offspring of Tom Brady and other QBs' wives.

chuck · « **Reply #60 on:** January 27, 2014, 01:59:18 pm »

I would have thought that the TARDs would have moved to Falls Church.

Limey · « **Reply #61 on:** September 08, 2014, 11:04:10 am »

Back for 2014...

Quote

ANTONIO BROWN: Hiiii-YAH! SPECIAL TEAMS-SPARTA KICK MAKES PUNTER GO BOOM!

ROGER GOODELL: Somehow, I’m going to figure out a way to fine Brandon Meriweather for that.