Fish @ Astros 05/08/12

[Mr. Happy]

Here are your starting lineups:

SSJose Reyes
CFEmilio Bonifacio
3BHanley Ramirez
LFLogan Morrison
2BOmar Infante
RFGiancarlo Stanton
1BGaby Sanchez
CJohn Buck
PAnibal Sanchez

CF Jordan Schafer 
2B Jose Altuve 
SS Jed Lowrie 
1B Carlos Lee 
RF Travis Buck 
LF J.D. Martinez 
3B Chris Johnson 
C Jason Castro 
P Aneury Rodriguez 

[Mr. Happy]

0-0 Top 2

[Mr. Happy]

Del Rosario went down in order to make room for AnRod tonight. I can't believe that A Bad is still on the roster.

[Ron Brand]

I feel the same way. I was sure that last beating was it for him.

[Ron Brand]

Abad isn't even Chuck Wepner. He's not even the Washington Generals.

[Ron Brand]

So much for the no-hitter!

[Ron Brand]

But not the shutout. 0-0 after 3.

[Ron Brand]

Infante jerks one out in the fourth and it's 1-0.

[Mr. Happy]

All in all, I'm seeing a better pitcher in AnRod than he was last season. I like the slider. His hook remains a work in progress.

[Ron Brand]

Milo believes the strike zone has been enlarged a bit, mostly upstairs.

[Ron Brand]

Fuck. Buck with the solo shibby and it's 2-0.

[Ron Brand]

Too crowded in here.

[Ron Brand]

It's gotta be Latvian Night somewhere. Maybe I can work on my Latvian.

[Ron Brand]

Infidels, we will claim the souls of one of your treacherous spies every hour until our demands are met. The first to die will be the old woman.

[Ron Brand]

"Well, you're next, Popinjay. As soon as this trial ends, your trial begins. Get it?"

[Mr. Happy]

Fucking Josh Hamilton has four dongs tonight- 14 on the season. Who has him in our league?

[Ron Brand]

This is the week I am overtaken.

[Ron Brand]

Fucking Josh Hamilton has four dongs tonight- 14 on the season. Who has him in our league?

AL In Waiting. 35 points for Hamilton tonight.

[Mr. Happy]

Marwin Gonzalez hits a pinch single to lead off the bottom of the sixth. All in all, AnRod did a pretty decent job tonight-two bad pitches cost him two long balls.

[Ron Brand]

Marwin Gonzalez hits a pinch single to lead off the bottom of the sixth. All in all, AnRod did a pretty decent job tonight-two bad pitches cost him two long balls.

At least he didn't give up four cranks to Hamilton.

[austro]

At least he didn't give up four cranks to Hamilton.

Right. That would have been one of the pitchers on my fantasy team. I'm making a solid push for the absolute fucking bottom.

[Ron Brand]

Sanchez is doing well for you, you traitor.

[austro]

Sanchez is doing well for you, you traitor.

A rare ray of sunshine, and even that comes with a karmic penalty, as you point out.

[Mr. Happy]

What a clusterfuck double error by Infante. We're knotted at 2.

[Mr. Happy]

Right. That would have been one of the pitchers on my fantasy team. I'm making a solid push for the absolute fucking bottom.

I have a feeling that I'll be joining you soon.

[austro]

What a clusterfuck double error by Infante. We're knotted at 2.

What happened? Don't tell HH, but my cable box just decided to reboot itself.

[Mr. Happy]

Back to back to back appearances by Lyon? WTF Lunhow must be featuring him for a deal while he's pitching alright.

[OregonStrosFan]

Fucking Josh Hamilton has four dongs tonight- 14 on the season. Who has him in our league?

Don't forget that there was a double mixed in between those 4 HRs...

[Mr. Happy]

What happened? Don't tell HH, but my cable box just decided to reboot itself.

Ground ball to Infante. He bobbled it then botched the throw to first base.

[jbm]

Don't forget that there was a double mixed in between those 4 HRs...

Damn.  I hate the Rangers.

This ump sucks.  Strike three to Schafer was terrible, in such a crucial AB also. 

Castro didn't need that bat anyway. 

[Mr. Happy]

Damn.  I hate the Rangers.

This ump sucks.  Strike three to Schafer was terrible, in such a crucial AB also. 

Castro didn't need that bat anyway. 

He actually hasn't been bad tonight, but I agree, that strike three to Schafer was horrific.

[Ron Brand]

Last time I employ Zero Mostel as the soothsayer for my fantasy team.

[Mr. Happy]

Damn. Their CF almost misjudged the Piranha's fly ball out there for the final out in the seventh.

[MusicMan]

I really like our keystone combo.

[MusicMan]

sonofabitch

[Ron Brand]

Well, fuck.

[OregonStrosFan]

Crap, kid gave that one a ride...

[Mr. Happy]

Travis Buck is making a case to replace Bogusevic.

[Mr. Happy]

Bogusevic!!!

[MusicMan]

Travis Buck is making a case to replace Bogusevic.

And Bogusevic drives in Buck.

[austro]

Travis Buck is making a case to replace Bogusevic.

Bogey says U FOO.

[Ron Brand]

Cool!

[jbm]

Finally.  One just out of their reach.  

[Mr. Happy]

And now comes Myers to try to save it. 3-2 Top 9

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Cool. Bring on Myers.

[Mr. Happy]

Bogey says U FOO.

That's why I said it.

[Ron Brand]

He'll have to get through the meat of the order.

[Taras Bulba]

Pound that Budweiser, boys!

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

WooHoo!!!!

[Ron Brand]

Astros win!

[Mr. Happy]

Myers works around a hit and saves it for his eighth save in eight chances. 3-2 BALLGAME

[OregonStrosFan]

ASTROS WIN! ASTROS WIN! ASTROS WIN!

Nice!!!

[Gizzmonic]

How the fabk did they win that one?

It makes me feel great!

[Mr. Happy]

How the fabk did they win that one?

It makes me feel great!

Thank Mr. Infante for that one.

[jbm]

True, but they went and won it when given a chance.  They haven't always done that.

[Taras Bulba]

Myers may yield some gold come the trade deadline.

[Mr. Happy]

True, but they went and won it when given a chance.  They haven't always done that.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I like this club.

[Ron Brand]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I like this club.

+1.

[Bench]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I like this club.

Fun club to watch.

Not so fun to watch?  The guy sitting in front of us who spent the first five innings giving his 9 and 11 year old daughters swigs of his beer and laughing, taking pictures of it, and texting jokes to his buddies about CPS.  Unsurprisingly, at another point he admonished his 6 year old son not to "act like a queer."

[Mr. Happy]

Fun club to watch.

Not so fun to watch?  The guy sitting in front of us who spent the first five innings giving his 9 and 11 year old daughters swigs of his beer and laughing, taking pictures of it, and texting jokes to his buddies about CPS.  Unsurprisingly, at another point he admonished his 6 year old son not to "act like a queer."

Nice guy. What a dipshit. With all of the people out there who would kill to have children, and this guy is abusing his own children.

[MusicMan]

Not so fun to watch?  The guy sitting in front of us who spent the first five innings giving his 9 and 11 year old daughters swigs of his beer and laughing, taking pictures of it, and texting jokes to his buddies about CPS.  Unsurprisingly, at another point he admonished his 6 year old son not to "act like a queer."

I would have made it no longer a joke.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Not so fun to watch?  The guy sitting in front of us who spent the first five innings giving his 9 and 11 year old daughters swigs of his beer and laughing, taking pictures of it, and texting jokes to his buddies about CPS.  Unsurprisingly, at another point he admonished his 6 year old son not to "act like a queer."

That's the point at which I take video with my phone, then find some law enforcement personnel.

[Andyzipp]

Not great behavior, but doesn't this:

Sec.106.04. CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL BY A MINOR

(a) A minor commits an offense if he consumes an alcoholic beverage.
(b) It is an affirmative defense to prosecution under this section that the alcoholic beverage was consumed in the visible presence of the minor's adult parent, guardian, or spouse.

Make it "legal"?  Or am I totally misunderstanding this?

Further...

Sec. 106.05. POSSESSION OF ALCOHOL BY A MINOR

(a) Except as provided in Subsection (b) of this section, a minor commits an offense if he possesses an alcoholic beverage.
(b) A minor may possess an alcoholic beverage:
     (1) while in the course and scope of the minor's employment if the minor is an employee of a licensee or permittee and the employment is not prohibited by this code;
     (2) if the minor is in the visible presence of his adult parent, guardian, or spouse, or other adult to whom the minor has been committed by a court; or
     (3) if the minor is under the immediate supervision of a commissioned peace officer engaged in enforcing the provisions of this code.
(c) An offense under this section is punishable as provided by Section 106.071.

Sec. 106.06. PURCHASE OF ALCOHOL FOR A MINOR; FURNISHING ALCOHOL TO A MINOR

(a) Except as provided in Subsection (b) of this section, a person commits an offense if he purchases an alcoholic beverage for or gives or with criminal negligence makes available an alcoholic beverage to a minor.
(b) A person may purchase an alcoholic beverage for or give an alcoholic beverage to a minor if he is the minor's adult parent, guardian, or spouse, or an adult in whose custody the minor has been committed by a court, and he is visibly present when the minor possesses or consumes the alcoholic beverage.
(c) An offense under this section is a Class A misdemeanor.

[subnuclear]

I have some pictures of me drinking my dad's Bud when I was about 6, something I did until I was about 8 and discovered beer was gross.

[Bench]

Not great behavior, but doesn't this:

Make it "legal"?  Or am I totally misunderstanding this?

Further...

Those statutes excuse the kid, not the parents. But yeah, I don't think there was anything technically illegal going on.

It was just really sad.

[Bench]

That's the point at which I take video with my phone, then find some law enforcement personnel.

Budgirl had a picture. Maybe she can figure out a way to post it in the recap. 

[Andyzipp]

Those statutes excuse the kid, not the parents. But yeah, I don't think there was anything technically illegal going on.

It was just really sad.

Agreed that it's bad behavior, but I don't understand the calling CPS piece.  Being a jackhole doesn't prevent you from being a parent (unfortunately).

[Mr. Happy]

Agreed that it's bad behavior, but I don't understand the calling CPS piece.  Being a jackhole doesn't prevent you from being a parent (unfortunately).

People who are jackholes can indeed be parents, and they should be permitted to be parents until they cross the line and endanger the children. While I'm never a fan of government intervention, I do favor intervention by CPS in appropriate situations. It doesn't sound like this guy crossed the line, but karma should come back to haunt him some day.

[BatGirl]

Budgirl had a picture. Maybe she can figure out a way to post it in the recap. 

why aren't we mentioning the fact that it was michelob ultra that he was giving his kids?
talk about not giving your children a chance in this world...

(also, mrhappy, i'm totally kidding)

[Mr. Happy]

why aren't we mentioning the fact that it was michelob ultra that he was giving his kids?
talk about not giving your children a chance in this world...

(also, mrhappy, i'm totally kidding)

Thanks, BatGirl! However, I even figured that one out.

[Andyzipp]

why aren't we mentioning the fact that it was michelob ultra that he was giving his kids?
talk about not giving your children a chance in this world...

(also, mrhappy, i'm totally kidding)

Were the kids overweight?  Maybe he was being a *good* dad...

[Mr. Happy]

Were the kids overweight?  Maybe he was being a *good* dad...

Even my broken excuse for a sarc-meter went off here.

[hostros7]

Were the kids overweight?  Maybe he was being a *good* dad...

I sat behind an obese family the other day at the game.  They stayed for about 6 innings and each child ate (in the following order) cotton candy, pizza, cracker jacks, lemon ice, peanuts.  I'm all for enjoying what you eat and treating out your kids at the game every once in a while, but this is the modern day equivalent of allowing your child to smoke a pack of cigs. 

[Bench]

Budgirl had a picture. Maybe she can figure out a way to post it in the recap. 

And there it is in the recap.  You can link to it from the "front page."

[chuck]

And there it is in the recap.  You can link to it from the "front page."

So BudGirl signs up as the designated driver and then immediately heads to the beer stand. Nice.

[Mr. Happy]

So BudGirl signs up as the designated driver and then immediately heads to the beer stand. Nice.

 what did you expect! Her name precedes her.

[Bench]

So BudGirl signs up as the designated driver and then immediately heads to the beer stand. Nice.

I have a buddy who gets his free "designated driver" coke to be a mixer for the bourbon he smuggles in a flask.  Budgirl is much classier.

[Mr. Happy]

I have a buddy who gets his free "designated driver" coke to be a mixer for the bourbon he smuggles in a flask.  Budgirl is much classier.

But of course. If I lived there, I'd happily cart you all around and drink Diet Cokes all night.