And another thing...office coffee etiquette

[HudsonHawk]

If you're going to live in a civilized society, there are certain behaviors that should be observed when it comes to the coffee pot.

1.  When you arrive at the office, and the coffee has not been made, don't bitch and moan.  Make the coffee.

2.  When you do make coffee, just make it normal, according to the directions.  We understand that you may like yours weak, or strong, but don't use 1/4 of the bag for a pot, and don't use 4 bags just because you need a little extra jolt.

3.  The decaf pot is for decaf.  It's clearly marked.  Don't make decaf in the other pots, and don't make regular in the decaf pot.  Believe it or not, decaf is a big deal to some people.

4.  Finally, when you take the last cup, make a fresh pot.  Just because you left four coffee molecules in the pot doesn't mean you didn't empty the pot.

Follow these rules, and the world will be a better place for all of us.

[S.P. Rodriguez]

If you're going to live in a civilized society, there are certain behaviors that should be observed when it comes to the coffee pot.

1.  When you arrive at the office, and the coffee has not been made, don't bitch and moan.  Make the coffee.

2.  When you do make coffee, just make it normal, according to the directions.  We understand that you may like yours weak, or strong, but don't use 1/4 of the bag for a pot, and don't use 4 bags just because you need a little extra jolt.

3.  The decaf pot is for decaf.  It's clearly marked.  Don't make decaf in the other pots, and don't make regular in the decaf pot.  Believe it or not, decaf is a big deal to some people.

4.  Finally, when you take the last cup, make a fresh pot.  Just because you left four coffee molecules in the pot doesn't mean you didn't empty the pot.

Follow these rules, and the world will be a better place for all of us.

Would you mind running for President with this platform?  I'd vote for you... dead serious.

[Ron Brand]

"You kill the joe, you make some mo '."
- Terry Tate, Office Linebacker

[Bench]

"You kill the joe, you make some mo '."
- Terry Tate, Office Linebacker

That ain't nothin' new, baby!

[Ebby Calvin]

If you're going to live in a civilized society, there are certain behaviors that should be observed when it comes to the coffee pot.

1.  When you arrive at the office, and the coffee has not been made, don't bitch and moan.  Make the coffee.

2.  When you do make coffee, just make it normal, according to the directions.  We understand that you may like yours weak, or strong, but don't use 1/4 of the bag for a pot, and don't use 4 bags just because you need a little extra jolt.

3.  The decaf pot is for decaf.  It's clearly marked.  Don't make decaf in the other pots, and don't make regular in the decaf pot.  Believe it or not, decaf is a big deal to some people.

4.  Finally, when you take the last cup, make a fresh pot.  Just because you left four coffee molecules in the pot doesn't mean you didn't empty the pot.

1. Buy a Keurig.

Follow this rule, and the world will be a better place for all of us.

FIFY, because I know you love it so much.

[Ron Brand]

I've got a friend who got a Keurig and he loves it. Isn't that the thing with these prepackaged pucks of coffee? I wouldn't want to be tied to a single manufacturer and I really want to choose the beans I use.

[HudsonHawk]

I've got a friend who got a Keurig and he loves it. Isn't that the thing with these prepackaged pucks of coffee? I wouldn't want to be tied to a single manufacturer and I really want to choose the beans I use.

I have a Keurig (actually a Cuisinart, but it uses the Keurig style cups), and love it.  There are dozens of brands and flavors of coffee, tea, cider, etc from which to choose.  You're not limited to a single brand.  You can even get them from Duncan Donuts (which is Mrs. Hawk's favorite).  You don't get to choose the beans, but then again, you don't when you buy any prepacked coffee.

[HudsonHawk]

FIFY, because I know you love it so much.

Single serve machines are nice, but impractical for 7,000 people.

[subnuclear]

FIFY, because I know you love it so much.

I like my Keurig and ground my own beans (NTTAWWT). Its very nice if you just want to make one or two cups of coffee or tea. The pre-packaged ones are not half bad, but are $0.40 a shot.

[Ebby Calvin]

I've got a friend who got a Keurig and he loves it. Isn't that the thing with these prepackaged pucks of coffee? I wouldn't want to be tied to a single manufacturer and I really want to choose the beans I use.

That's the one.  For coffee aficianados, it may not be the best thing out there, but my office keeps several varieties in stock at all time, including tea and sweetened tea.  It's also hooked up to our water line somehow, so we never have to refill it.  It's super easy to use and accommodates all types of coffee drinkers.  There's even a modified cup thingy that you can use after you grind your own beans, but I've never tried it.

[Ebby Calvin]

Single serve machines are nice, but impractical for 7,000 people.

Then ignore what I said. I completely agree with your original post. Carry on.

[Ron Brand]

You don't get to choose the beans, but then again, you don't when you buy any prepacked coffee.

True, but I can pick the batch and the roasting date and the type of beans as well as the source.

Sounds like someone needs to impress the concept of team play on some of your prima donna co-slackers.

[HudsonHawk]

I like my Keurig and ground my own beans (NTTAWWT). Its very nice if you just want to make one or two cups of coffee or tea. The pre-packaged ones are not half bad, but are $0.40 a shot.

BTW, I'm sure you know, but for those who don't (I'm looking at you Ron Brand)....you don't have to use the pre-packaged cups for your Keurig.  You can use your own coffee, even coffee you grind youself.

[HudsonHawk]

True, but I can pick the batch and the roasting date and the type of beans as well as the source.

Sounds like someone needs to impress the concept of team play on some of your proms donna co-slackers.

See my post below...you can use your own coffee with the Keurig too.

[Ron Brand]

BTW, I'm sure you know, but for those who don't (I'm looking at you Ron Brand)....you don't have to use the pre-packaged cups for your Keurig.  You can use your own coffee, even coffee you grind youself.

I did not know that. Makes it a much more attractive option, then.

[Jacksonian]

If you're going to live in a civilized society, there are certain behaviors that should be observed when it comes to the coffee pot.

1.  When you arrive at the office, and the coffee has not been made, don't bitch and moan.  Make the coffee.

1. Tell your AA she's awesome every time she makes you a pot of coffee.

2.  When you do make coffee, just make it normal, according to the directions.  We understand that you may like yours weak, or strong, but don't use 1/4 of the bag for a pot, and don't use 4 bags just because you need a little extra jolt.

3.  The decaf pot is for decaf.  It's clearly marked.  Don't make decaf in the other pots, and don't make regular in the decaf pot.  Believe it or not, decaf is a big deal to some people.

4.  Finally, when you take the last cup, make a fresh pot.  Just because you left four coffee molecules in the pot doesn't mean you didn't empty the pot.

Follow these rules, and the world will be a better place for all of us.

FIFM

[MusicMan]

"You kill the joe, you make some mo '."
- Terry Tate, Office Linebacker

This is exactly what I thought of when I saw the subject line.

[MusicMan]

Single serve machines are nice, but impractical for 7,000 people.

My firm has far more than 7000 and uses single serve in every US office.

[geezerdonk]

What are the rules for office beer etiquette?

[Gizzmonic]

What are the rules for office beer etiquette?

And what of office heroin etiquette?

[Ron Brand]

And what of office heroin etiquette?

First thing you learn is that you always gotta wait.

[Outlawscotty]

What are the rules for office beer etiquette?

If you're going to live in a civilized society, there are certain behaviors that should be observed when it comes to the ice chest.

1.  When you arrive at the office, and the beer hasn't been iced down, don't bitch and moan.  Ice down the beer.

2.  When you do ice the beer, just ice it normal, according to the amount of cans or bottles.  We understand that you may like your ice chest crammed full of ice or mostly water, but don't use 1/4 of the bag for a case, and don't use 4 bags just because you had the room.

3.  The can bin is for cans.  It's clearly marked.  Don't put bottles in the can bin, and don't put cans in the trash.  Believe it or not, recycling is a big deal to some people.

4.  Finally, when you take the last beer, go on a beer run.  Just because you only 'drank one' doesn't mean you didn't drink.

Follow these rules, and the office will be a better place for all of us.

[Gizzmonic]

First thing you learn is that you always gotta wait.

Business Lou Reed says that song is really about logistics and managing expectations.

[Ron Brand]

Business Lou Reed says that song is really about logistics and managing expectations.

Very, very nice.

[JimR]

I've got a friend who got a Keurig and he loves it. Isn't that the thing with these prepackaged pucks of coffee? I wouldn't want to be tied to a single manufacturer and I really want to choose the beans I use.

i have one in my office. it is great.

[Fredia]

KEEP your nose clean

[Guinness]

My firm has far more than 7000 and uses single serve in every US office.

Just about every office in the UK I worked in (including a huuuuuge "natural resources" company) had the same.  Little packets of tea/coffee/etc and a machine hooked up to a water line.  It was great.  Of course, you didn't drink tea out of it, that comes in bags.

[Fredia]

waiting for limey explostion

[Limey]

FWIW, I have a Nespresso machine at home, which was fabulous for a single person and still excellent for cohabitants as this is now my current domestic situation.  It's a fancy version of the Keurig machine, as it makes everything from espresso to latte and all points inbetween.  I am limited to Nespresso coffee bombs only, but they have enough variety for me to find caff and decaff versions of the types of bomb I need to make the types of coffee I drink.

We have Keurigs throughout our office.  One group got one first, which the employees paid for themselves.  They found that it was much cheaper to run one of those than the traditional coffee service we had, so the company took it over from them and installed them throughout the building.  A great idea for the office, as I can get my "Jet Fuel" in the morning and my decaff green tea* in the afternoons.

* Yes, I fucking said it!

[Limey]

waiting for limey explostion

I haven't explosted in a while.  I think about baseball and it goes away.

[Noe]

That's the one.  For coffee aficianados, it may not be the best thing out there, but my office keeps several varieties in stock at all time, including tea and sweetened tea.  It's also hooked up to our water line somehow, so we never have to refill it.  It's super easy to use and accommodates all types of coffee drinkers.  There's even a modified cup thingy that you can use after you grind your own beans, but I've never tried it.

With the "cup thingy", people can bring in their personal favorite coffee bags and/or grind their own bag-o-beans. Also, my wife loves to make her chi-tea while I like to drink the variety of breakfast blends of coffee. I think this little invention will save mankind and if there was a way to motivate HudsonHawk's office (maybe a Keurig per floor or division?), might even save his office from the cruelty they surely suffer.

[austro]

I haven't explosted in a while.

I can't help thinking of you when I see the TimeWarner(?) commercial where Ricky Gervais is sitting at an outdoor table at a cafe and receives a friend request on his phone. "You're probably brilliant! Request denied."

[Noe]

What are the rules for office beer etiquette?

Beer-thirty, Fridays... have to wait for CEO to drink the first pint from the keg. Gotta love Austin technology companies!

[Noe]

FWIW, I have a Nespresso machine at home, which was fabulous for a single person and still excellent for cohabitants as this is now my current domestic situation.  It's a fancy version of the Keurig machine, as it makes everything from espresso to latte and all points inbetween.  I am limited to Nespresso coffee bombs only, but they have enough variety for me to find caff and decaff versions of the types of bomb I need to make the types of coffee I drink.

We have Keurigs throughout our office.  One group got one first, which the employees paid for themselves.  They found that it was much cheaper to run one of those than the traditional coffee service we had, so the company took it over from them and installed them throughout the building.  A great idea for the office, as I can get my "Jet Fuel" in the morning and my decaff green tea* in the afternoons.

* Yes, I fucking said it!

I've actually experienced more folks wanting to drink tea (and asking the company to provide more tea for the Keurig than coffee). Funny how Austin is such a tea crazy office environment... must be all the hippies and young bohemians. However, at my wife's office, she is unfortunately the only one who prefers tea, so she brings her own.

[Ty in Tampa]

Beer fridge in every suite!

[JimR]

Beer fridge in every suite!

how did you know what i am planning for my office?

[Ty in Tampa]

how did you know what i am planning for my office?

They're a must in the "creative" environment we try to evoke. Our clients insist them. Plus, we're all drunks.

[Ron Brand]

how did you know what i am planning for my office?

I had a good friend who was a flack for The Bar and then for TDCJ...he had a very nice beer fridge in his office to complement his Scotch drawer in his desk.

[subnuclear]

I had a good friend who was a flack for The Bar and then for TDCJ...he had a very nice beer fridge in his office to complement his Scotch drawer in his desk.

My cousin works in advertising and they have a "creative living room" which is full of booze. I like that terminology.

[NeilT]

My cousin works in advertising and they have a "creative living room" which is full of booze. I like that terminology.

We have a firm policy of no liquor in offices.  For many years I've kept the same pint of Irish whiskey on my desk.  Older partners--partners my age--like to walk by and ask if that isn't against firm policy, and then laugh. 

[HudsonHawk]

My firm has far more than 7000 and uses single serve in every US office.

You have 7,000 people in the same office using single serves?  That's a lot of single serves, or a long ass line at the machine in the morning.

[sporadic]

You have 7,000 people in the same office using single serves?  That's a lot of single serves, or a long ass line at the machine in the morning.

You have 7000 people using the same kitchen/coffee pot(s)?  Single serve or not, that has the makings of a clusterfuck

[MusicMan]

You have 7,000 people in the same office using single serves?  That's a lot of single serves, or a long ass line at the machine in the morning.

No, firmwide.  If 7000 are going after coffee pots in the same office, it's a problem too.

[HudsonHawk]

You have 7000 people using the same kitchen/coffee pot(s)?  Single serve or not, that has the makings of a clusterfuck

We have shitload of industrial strength coffee makers.  Which is why I was thinking the single serve would be impractical for an office that big.  If you had 10 people in 100 offices, single serve might work.  But if you have 1,000 people in one office, it just seems like you'd need a little more horsepower for day in day out,reliable java production.  You need machines that can make gallons at a time

[HudsonHawk]

No, firmwide.  If 7000 are going after coffee pots in the same office, it's a problem too.

Well again, not everyone is using the same pot.  But with that much coffee to make, it seems a 100 industrial machines is easier to manage than 1,000 single serves.

[juliogotay]

Back to the etiquette thing...years ago I came home one night and had the worst headache of my life. The next day my office manager admitted to putting decaf in the regular can of Folgers. We made coffee all day long, I just wasn't getting any caffeine. For the rest of my days of going to an office I made my own coffee at home and carried a thermos. BTW, that guy was later demoted and I was promoted to his VP position. Payback is hell.

[chuck]

Business Lou Reed says that song is really about logistics and managing expectations.

Also implicit are the benefits of a robust public transportation system.

[hostros7]

Back to the etiquette thing...years ago I came home one night and had the worst headache of my life. The next day my office manager admitted to putting decaf in the regular can of Folgers. We made coffee all day long, I just wasn't getting any caffeine. For the rest of my days of going to an office I made my own coffee at home and carried a thermos. BTW, that guy was later demoted and I was promoted to his VP position. Payback is hell.

VP of Office Kitchen Logistics?

[94CougarGrad]

As I've read this thread, I've had the episode of The King of Queens in my head... in which Carrie tries to un-learn how to talk with a NY accent and Doug's mother keeps messing her up. "You owahdid cowahffee? That's crazy tawahk!"

[sporadic]

We have shitload of industrial strength coffee makers.  Which is why I was thinking the single serve would be impractical for an office that big.  If you had 10 people in 100 offices, single serve might work.  But if you have 1,000 people in one office, it just seems like you'd need a little more horsepower for day in day out,reliable java production.  You need machines that can make gallons at a time

gotcha, my pea brain was trying to process the 7000 people using one kitchen (let alone ny kind of coffee contraption).  Another thing...I make the coffee every morning, as I am the first to arrive, but does anyone else think that the coffee is always better when someone else makes it?  Granted, we have a small office and nobody makes it particularly strong or weak, but everyone else's version always seems tastier than mine. 

[subnuclear]

gotcha, my pea brain was trying to process the 7000 people using one kitchen (let alone ny kind of coffee contraption).  Another thing...I make the coffee every morning, as I am the first to arrive, but does anyone else think that the coffee is always better when someone else makes it?  Granted, we have a small office and nobody makes it particularly strong or weak, but everyone else's version always seems tastier than mine. 

Probably something to do with this this.

[HudsonHawk]

gotcha, my pea brain was trying to process the 7000 people using one kitchen (let alone ny kind of coffee contraption).  Another thing...I make the coffee every morning, as I am the first to arrive, but does anyone else think that the coffee is always better when someone else makes it?  Granted, we have a small office and nobody makes it particularly strong or weak, but everyone else's version always seems tastier than mine. 

Perhaps it's their "secret ingredient".

[hostros7]

Perhaps it's their "secret ingredient".

Yeah, he must be the one serving up the unleaded coffee in the clubhouse.

[drew corleone]

Coffee seems like a big hassle.

Coke Zero FTW!

[Fredia]

bring mr pibb to austin

[Gizzmonic]

bring mr pibb to austin

Ma'am, as a Texan, I'm offended.

[MusicMan]

Ma'am, as a Texan, I'm offended.

Seriously, it's like a bannable offense.

[JimR]

Seriously, it's like a bannable offense.

so is including some folks' post in a reply.

[Noe]

We have shitload of industrial strength coffee makers.  Which is why I was thinking the single serve would be impractical for an office that big.  If you had 10 people in 100 offices, single serve might work.  But if you have 1,000 people in one office, it just seems like you'd need a little more horsepower for day in day out,reliable java production.  You need machines that can make gallons at a time

You have 1,000 people in one floor of a building?

[HudsonHawk]

You have 1,000 people in one floor of a building?

No. We have 75-100 per floor.

[geezerdonk]

Perhaps it's their "secret ingredient".

I think we just discovered where Braun's test sample ended up.

[Gizzmonic]

Also implicit are the benefits of a robust public transportation system.

There you go, poking at the coals...

[Fredia]

amazing...did you know in sabine parish only one store and one church have an elevator and no escalators

[chuck]

There you go, poking at the coals...

I used to take the 4,5,6 to Lexington and 125 all the time. I wasn't scoring drugs, though, I was going up to catch the bus across to Randall's Island in order to go to the batting cages. An additional bonus was that the Manhattan Psychiatric Center is also located on the island and there were always plenty of lunatics on the bus back and forth.

Randall's Island is also the location of the climactic scene in the French Connection although what with a serious facelift and all the baseball fields you'd barely recognize it now.

[94CougarGrad]

Seriously, it's like a bannable offense.

...to like Pibb?

[MusicMan]

...to like Pibb?

When Dr. Pepper is available?  YES.

[DVauthrin]

When Dr. Pepper is available?  YES.

I prefer Coca Cola to any soft drink, but Dr. Pepper is much better than Mr. Pibb.    I also really enjoy the cherry Dr. Pepper.

[Gizzmonic]

I used to take the 4,5,6 to Lexington and 125 all the time. I wasn't scoring drugs, though, I was going up to catch the bus across to Randall's Island in order to go to the batting cages. An additional bonus was that the Manhattan Psychiatric Center is also located on the island and there were always plenty of lunatics on the bus back and forth.

Randall's Island is also the location of the climactic scene in the French Connection although what with a serious facelift and all the baseball fields you'd barely recognize it now.

Not scoring drugs, playing baseball, hanging out with lunatics?  You should make a song about that as well!  Sort of like "Takin Retards to the Zoo" but more urbane and sophisticated!

[ybbodeus]

You have 7,000 people in the same office using single serves?  That's a lot of single serves, or a long ass line at the machine in the morning.

Unless they enforce the, "Coffee is for closers," rule/guideline

[MusicMan]

Unless they enforce the, "Coffee is for closers," rule/guideline

That already caused one fight between a GM and player.

[94CougarGrad]

When Dr. Pepper is available?  YES.

Oh. Well. I guess it's a good thing that I'm a Cherry Coke Zero/Diet Cherry Coke fan.