Author Topic: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today  (Read 11144 times)

Rebel Jew

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3469
    • View Profile
    • Rebel Jew
I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« on: October 13, 2011, 02:04:33 am »
So today I was riding my bike in San Francisco at a busy intersection. I rode through a crosswalk legally, but the light changed to yellow as I made it through. However, once I passed the crosswalk I saw an old Chinese lady crossing the street the other way (she started a second or two before the walk sign came on, as people often do at busy intersections). I yelled "heyyyyyyyyy" but it was too late and I hit her and knocked her to the ground (I fell off my bike too I think). I wasn't going very fast, and didn't think she was hurt too bad, but neither her nor her husband spoke English, and some overly concerned onlookers called an ambulance and the police. So eventually the police came. I gave my side of the story, some asshole bleeding heart onlookers gave theirs that I'm a terrible evil bike marauder, but the cops agreed with me that it was an accident. Unfortunately, the lady was immobilized and taken away on a stretcher and put into the ambulance. From what I could tell, at worst her knee is a little banged up but who knows considering her age (probably late 60's)? For whatever reason, one of the cops told me some story about a lady who recently got hit by a bike, seemed fine, but died a week later from the injuries. Great. He also told me that somehow this type of thing becomes a car insurance situation.

So here's my question:  Am I going to get sued?
« Last Edit: October 13, 2011, 02:06:10 am by Rebel Jew »

VirtualBob

  • Pope
  • Posts: 5630
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2011, 02:33:51 am »
So today I was riding my bike in San Francisco at a busy intersection. I rode through a crosswalk legally, but the light changed to yellow as I made it through. However, once I passed the crosswalk I saw an old Chinese lady crossing the street the other way (she started a second or two before the walk sign came on, as people often do at busy intersections). I yelled "heyyyyyyyyy" but it was too late and I hit her and knocked her to the ground (I fell off my bike too I think). I wasn't going very fast, and didn't think she was hurt too bad, but neither her nor her husband spoke English, and some overly concerned onlookers called an ambulance and the police. So eventually the police came. I gave my side of the story, some asshole bleeding heart onlookers gave theirs that I'm a terrible evil bike marauder, but the cops agreed with me that it was an accident. Unfortunately, the lady was immobilized and taken away on a stretcher and put into the ambulance. From what I could tell, at worst her knee is a little banged up but who knows considering her age (probably late 60's)? For whatever reason, one of the cops told me some story about a lady who recently got hit by a bike, seemed fine, but died a week later from the injuries. Great. He also told me that somehow this type of thing becomes a car insurance situation.

So here's my question:  Am I going to get sued?
Hope so.
Up in the Air

Limey

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 32079
  • Tally Ho!
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2011, 07:32:16 am »
So here's my question:  Am I going to get sued?

I think you should be ready for it.  Medical bills ain't cheap.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Ebby Calvin

  • Contributor
  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3595
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #3 on: October 13, 2011, 07:59:03 am »

So here's my question:  Am I going to get sued?

Hope not.  Seems pretty trivial to me.

Get your shit together though.
Don't think twice, it's alright.

Bench

  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 16476
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #4 on: October 13, 2011, 08:32:58 am »
So today I was riding my bike in San Francisco at a busy intersection. I rode through a crosswalk legally, but the light changed to yellow as I made it through. However, once I passed the crosswalk I saw an old Chinese lady crossing the street the other way (she started a second or two before the walk sign came on, as people often do at busy intersections). I yelled "heyyyyyyyyy" but it was too late and I hit her and knocked her to the ground (I fell off my bike too I think). I wasn't going very fast, and didn't think she was hurt too bad, but neither her nor her husband spoke English, and some overly concerned onlookers called an ambulance and the police. So eventually the police came. I gave my side of the story, some asshole bleeding heart onlookers gave theirs that I'm a terrible evil bike marauder, but the cops agreed with me that it was an accident. Unfortunately, the lady was immobilized and taken away on a stretcher and put into the ambulance. From what I could tell, at worst her knee is a little banged up but who knows considering her age (probably late 60's)? For whatever reason, one of the cops told me some story about a lady who recently got hit by a bike, seemed fine, but died a week later from the injuries. Great. He also told me that somehow this type of thing becomes a car insurance situation.

So here's my question:  Am I going to get sued?

Do you have insurance?  Your car insurance might cover that.  Or maybe your home owner's (apartment renter's) policy.

Also, it's a good thing the cop didn't issue you a ticket.
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

Jacksonian

  • Contributor
  • Double Super Secret Pope
  • Posts: 12893
  • Anonymous Source
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #5 on: October 13, 2011, 09:00:34 am »
Goin' for a bus ride.

BizidyDizidy

  • Pope
  • Posts: 8836
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #6 on: October 13, 2011, 09:12:25 am »
Shouldve sent her to you herbalist
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
  -  Orson Welles

geezerdonk

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3342
  • a long tradition of existence
    • View Profile
I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #7 on: October 13, 2011, 09:17:29 am »
Forget the accident and getting sued. You used incorrect nomenclature so I imagine your ass is going to jail for quite a long stretch - and rightfully so.
E come vivo? Vivo.

MusicMan

  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 25931
  • Thanks for 2015
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #8 on: October 13, 2011, 09:31:28 am »
Forget the accident and getting sued. You used incorrect nomenclature so I imagine your ass is going to jail for quite a long stretch - and rightfully so.

You're out of your fucking element here, Donny.
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

Col. Sphinx Drummond

  • Fantasy Team Owner
  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 16760
  • art is a bulwark against the irrationality of man
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #9 on: October 13, 2011, 09:33:28 am »
I think it was a Buddhist lawyer that coined the term, "Karma's a bitch."
Everyone's talking, few of them know
The rest are pretending, they put on a show
And if there's a message I guess this is it
Truth isn't easy, the easy part's shit

Fredia

  • Pope
  • Posts: 6896
  • Looking forward
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #10 on: October 13, 2011, 09:55:24 am »
move to texas at the fastest possible time..and use a car not a bike
and sorry for what happened it must be scary
forever is composed entirely of nows

HudsonHawk

  • Administrator
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 42689
  • Gentleman About Town
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #11 on: October 13, 2011, 10:49:11 am »
Do you have insurance?  Your car insurance might cover that.  Or maybe your home owner's (apartment renter's) policy.

Also, it's a good thing the cop didn't issue you a ticket.


I'm no lawyer or insurance guy here, but I can't figure out for the life of me how automobile or homeowners insurance would be responsible for this. 
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Bench

  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 16476
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #12 on: October 13, 2011, 10:53:10 am »
I'm no lawyer or insurance guy here, but I can't figure out for the life of me how automobile or homeowners insurance would be responsible for this. 

Umbrella coverage.  Depends on the policy. 
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

HudsonHawk

  • Administrator
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 42689
  • Gentleman About Town
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #13 on: October 13, 2011, 10:54:27 am »
Umbrella coverage.  Depends on the policy. 

So you mean your auto or home insurance policy is more than just auto or home insurance?  It's more like "dumbass in life" insurance?
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

S.P. Rodriguez

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 2932
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #14 on: October 13, 2011, 11:07:32 am »
So you mean your auto or home insurance policy is more than just auto or home insurance?  It's more like "dumbass in life" insurance?

If the policy says so, pretty much...
"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. "

-Mark Twain

Rebel Jew

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3469
    • View Profile
    • Rebel Jew
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #15 on: October 13, 2011, 11:27:14 am »
Shouldve sent her to you herbalist

have you ever put aloe vera on a sunburn? if so, then you have used an herbal remedy.

Bench

  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 16476
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #16 on: October 13, 2011, 11:29:12 am »
So you mean your auto or home insurance policy is more than just auto or home insurance?  It's more like "dumbass in life" insurance?

Your quoted premiums must have been prohibitive.


Zing!
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

Limey

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 32079
  • Tally Ho!
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #17 on: October 13, 2011, 11:34:17 am »
So you mean your auto or home insurance policy is more than just auto or home insurance?  It's more like "dumbass in life" insurance?

Dunno about the Auto policy, but your Homeowners / Renters insurance includes a section of third party liability insurance, up to a scheduled limit*.  Essentially it is "collision liability" coverage for your life, not your car.  It has exclusions, though, and mowing down old ladies (Chinese or whatever) on your bicycle may be one of 'em.

* IIRC, it's typically around $250k.  FYI, an Umbrella top-up, that sits over your personal liability and your auto/boat/jet-ski policies, will cost about $400 a year for one meeeelion dollars (US) of additional liability coverage.  The rub is that they typically require a $350k limit on your Auto policy, which ups the price of that policy a fair bit.  Basically, it's protecting your net worth from you mowing down a dozen young Chinese kids who are all destined to be industrial magnates.  If you have a bit of coin stashed away, in property or 401ks or whatever, it's worth having.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Rebel Jew

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3469
    • View Profile
    • Rebel Jew
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #18 on: October 13, 2011, 11:35:27 am »
Do you have insurance?  Your car insurance might cover that.  Or maybe your home owner's (apartment renter's) policy.

Also, it's a good thing the cop didn't issue you a ticket.


I have car insurance, nothing fancy but it's more than just liability. Like I said, the cop was pretty adamant that it would become a car insurance issue however that makes sense. I thought I was going to be arrested at first, but yeah no arrest, no ticket, though the cops did file a report and give me a case number. It really was just an accident, and the cops corroborated that, but somehow I feel it's only a matter of time before a Chinese ambulance chaser gets involved. I do have the phone number and name of a witness who was very vocally on my side.


Bench

  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 16476
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #19 on: October 13, 2011, 12:09:54 pm »
I have car insurance, nothing fancy but it's more than just liability. Like I said, the cop was pretty adamant that it would become a car insurance issue however that makes sense. I thought I was going to be arrested at first, but yeah no arrest, no ticket, though the cops did file a report and give me a case number. It really was just an accident, and the cops corroborated that, but somehow I feel it's only a matter of time before a Chinese ambulance chaser gets involved. I do have the phone number and name of a witness who was very vocally on my side.



Did the cop get a statement from that witness?  If not, you should call him/her up and ask her to write what happened down as soon as possible.
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

Ron Brand

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 22329
  • Smoke 'em inside.
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #20 on: October 13, 2011, 12:11:25 pm »
Did the cop get a statement from that witness?  If not, you should call him/her up and ask her to write what happened down as soon as possible.

Yes, do this while it is fresh in their mind.
I'm in love with rock and roll and I'll be out all night.

HudsonHawk

  • Administrator
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 42689
  • Gentleman About Town
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #21 on: October 13, 2011, 12:55:31 pm »
have you ever put aloe vera on a sunburn? if so, then you have used an herbal remedy.

And if you've ever chewed on moldy bread, you've probably used penicillin.  That doesn't mean it's a good substitute for the advice of a trained physician.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

HudsonHawk

  • Administrator
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 42689
  • Gentleman About Town
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #22 on: October 13, 2011, 12:56:19 pm »
Your quoted premiums must have been prohibitive.


Zing!

Exactly.  They told me "we'll insure your car, but not *your* dumb ass".
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

headhunter

  • Veteran Role Player
  • Posts: 336
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #23 on: October 13, 2011, 11:06:33 pm »
So today I was riding my bike in San Francisco at a busy intersection. I rode through a crosswalk legally, but the light changed to yellow as I made it through. However, once I passed the crosswalk I saw an old Chinese lady crossing the street the other way (she started a second or two before the walk sign came on, as people often do at busy intersections). I yelled "heyyyyyyyyy" but it was too late and I hit her and knocked her to the ground (I fell off my bike too I think). I wasn't going very fast, and didn't think she was hurt too bad, but neither her nor her husband spoke English, and some overly concerned onlookers called an ambulance and the police. So eventually the police came. I gave my side of the story, some asshole bleeding heart onlookers gave theirs that I'm a terrible evil bike marauder, but the cops agreed with me that it was an accident. Unfortunately, the lady was immobilized and taken away on a stretcher and put into the ambulance. From what I could tell, at worst her knee is a little banged up but who knows considering her age (probably late 60's)? For whatever reason, one of the cops told me some story about a lady who recently got hit by a bike, seemed fine, but died a week later from the injuries. Great. He also told me that somehow this type of thing becomes a car insurance situation.

So here's my question:  Am I going to get sued?
when an old chinese lady (or anyone else) gets hit by an astro fan (or anyone else) on a bike I don't think its "overly concerned" to call for an ambulance and the cops. I'm sure you are upset that you hit her, but I get the impression that you are a more concerned about getting sued than her well being. Hopefully she's fine and this doesn't come to anything, but being upset with the people who where concerned about the lady's condition is misplaced.
my probation officer is real proud of me
I drive an Olds 88 got the devil on a leash...
I'm going out West...

VirtualBob

  • Pope
  • Posts: 5630
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #24 on: October 14, 2011, 03:34:56 am »
when an old chinese lady (or anyone else) gets hit by an astro fan (or anyone else) on a bike I don't think its "overly concerned" to call for an ambulance and the cops. I'm sure you are upset that you hit her, but I get the impression that you are a more concerned about getting sued than her well being. Hopefully she's fine and this doesn't come to anything, but being upset with the people who where concerned about the lady's condition is misplaced.
Well said.  And gratuitous characterization of onlookers as "asshole bleeding heart" types because they object to the way bikers in general (not saying anything about this particular incident) ignore traffic laws and then whine about others who point that out does not add anything to RJ's credibility.  If the light had really just "changed to yellow as [he] made it through" then where were the cars?  And why on earth would someone have stepped off the curb before the cross traffic even had a yellow light?  None of this really passes the sniff test.
Up in the Air

subnuclear

  • Pope
  • Posts: 6116
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #25 on: October 14, 2011, 06:36:36 am »
I don't know what happened with Joey, but pedestrians ignore traffic lights/don't walk signs all the time when I ride my bike. In an urban environment, there is also a lot of ambient noise during the day, so people can't hear you, even if you are ringing a bell or shouting.

sporadic

  • Should Have Quit 500 Posts Ago
  • Posts: 1954
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #26 on: October 14, 2011, 07:51:22 am »
Well said.  And gratuitous characterization of onlookers as "asshole bleeding heart" types because they object to the way bikers in general (not saying anything about this particular incident) ignore traffic laws and then whine about others who point that out does not add anything to RJ's credibility.

...as you immediately hoping he gets sued adds nothing to your credibility

That being said, I hope the old Asian-American is OK

geezerdonk

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3342
  • a long tradition of existence
    • View Profile
I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #27 on: October 14, 2011, 09:15:54 am »
I'm wondering what a Chinese ambulance looks like.
E come vivo? Vivo.

Mr. Happy

  • Fantasy Team Owner
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 23232
  • It's a beautiful day; let's play two
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #28 on: October 14, 2011, 09:47:17 am »
I'm wondering what a Chinese ambulance looks like.

Like a Chinese fire drill?
People who cannot recognize a palpable absurdity are very much in the way of civilization. Agnes Rupellier

Caedite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius

JimR

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 29345
    • View Profile
    • McGinnis, Lochridge & Kilgore, LLP
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #29 on: October 14, 2011, 09:52:24 am »
I'm wondering what a Chinese ambulance looks like.

how about a Chinese ambulance chaser?
Often wrong, but never in doubt.

Bench

  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 16476
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #30 on: October 14, 2011, 10:01:58 am »
how about a Chinese ambulance chaser?

The only Chinese chaser anyone needs.
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

JimR

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 29345
    • View Profile
    • McGinnis, Lochridge & Kilgore, LLP
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #31 on: October 14, 2011, 10:05:38 am »
Often wrong, but never in doubt.

Limey

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 32079
  • Tally Ho!
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #32 on: October 14, 2011, 10:25:34 am »
how about a Chinese ambulance chaser?

The trouble with chasing a Chinese ambulance is that, half an hour later, you want to chase another one.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

JimR

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 29345
    • View Profile
    • McGinnis, Lochridge & Kilgore, LLP
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #33 on: October 14, 2011, 10:28:46 am »
The trouble with chasing a Chinese ambulance is that, half an hour later, you want to chase another one.

outstanding!
Often wrong, but never in doubt.

Limey

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 32079
  • Tally Ho!
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #34 on: October 14, 2011, 10:35:15 am »
outstanding!

It's a joke that's highly recyclable:

The trouble with [insert activity involving something Chinese] is that, half an hour later, you want to [insert same activity] another one.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Rebel Jew

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3469
    • View Profile
    • Rebel Jew
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #35 on: October 14, 2011, 11:05:12 am »
when an old chinese lady (or anyone else) gets hit by an astro fan (or anyone else) on a bike I don't think its "overly concerned" to call for an ambulance and the cops. I'm sure you are upset that you hit her, but I get the impression that you are a more concerned about getting sued than her well being. Hopefully she's fine and this doesn't come to anything, but being upset with the people who where concerned about the lady's condition is misplaced.

I guess I didn't explain it clearly enough, but there were two onlookers who essentially forced the cops and ambulance into the situation. Since the lady and her husband didn't speak English, they didn't bother to ask them whether to do it they just said that's what they were going to do, even though the lady stood up a few seconds after the collision and I wasn't going very fast.

I have no idea if she's okay, and I certainly hope she is. As a separate issue, I also hope I don't get sued.

Rebel Jew

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3469
    • View Profile
    • Rebel Jew
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #36 on: October 14, 2011, 11:08:15 am »
Well said.  And gratuitous characterization of onlookers as "asshole bleeding heart" types because they object to the way bikers in general (not saying anything about this particular incident) ignore traffic laws and then whine about others who point that out does not add anything to RJ's credibility.  If the light had really just "changed to yellow as [he] made it through" then where were the cars?  And why on earth would someone have stepped off the curb before the cross traffic even had a yellow light?  None of this really passes the sniff test.

Have you ever ridden a bike in a dense, urban area? Actually, let me back up, when was the last time your fat ass even rode a bike? Please go back to ignoring me.

HudsonHawk

  • Administrator
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 42689
  • Gentleman About Town
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #37 on: October 14, 2011, 11:23:47 am »
It's a joke that's highly recyclable:

The trouble with [insert activity involving something Chinese] is that, half an hour later, you want to [insert same activity] another one.

I don't know...I once had a Chinese chick for a roommate. She used to like washing the dishes while naked, and well there were a few nights...wait...am I saying this outloud?
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Guinness

  • Guest
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #38 on: October 14, 2011, 11:24:48 am »
I don't know...I once had a Chinese chick for a roommate. She used to like washing the dishes while naked, and well there were a few nights...wait...am I saying this outloud?

No, you're just typing, you're good.  Go on.

HudsonHawk

  • Administrator
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 42689
  • Gentleman About Town
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #39 on: October 14, 2011, 11:27:36 am »
No, you're just typing, you're good.  Go on.

I'll just cut to the chase...Chinese chicks are freaks.
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

Noe

  • Guest
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #40 on: October 14, 2011, 11:28:09 am »
I'll just cut to the chase...Chinese chicks are freaks.

Because they wash dishes again an hour later?
« Last Edit: October 14, 2011, 12:48:44 pm by Noe in Austin »

VirtualBob

  • Pope
  • Posts: 5630
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #41 on: October 14, 2011, 12:15:57 pm »
Have you ever ridden a bike in a dense, urban area? Actually, let me back up, when was the last time your fat ass even rode a bike? Please go back to ignoring me.
Actually, yes.  I used to ride a lot, but as you note, it is somewhat challenging.  And even more so if you actually obey the traffic rules.  And as for my "fat ass", I'd be glad to match times with you in a half-marathon any time. I certainly am guilty of jumping to conclusions on your story, but both as a runner and a driver I find bikers to be (as a general rule with some exceptions) insufferably self-centered assholes who expect everyone else to watch out for them yet refuse to reciprocate.  How many times have I stopped at a 4-way stop, started again, and had to slam on the brakes to avoid a biker who never slowed down?  How many times have I been running and almost run down by a biker who was violating the traffic rules (stop, red light, yield sign, pedestrian crossing, whatever)?  How many times have I been stick behind a biker in traffic who insists on his right to an entire lane going up a hill?  (And of course it is his right, but when he has just cut through a line of traffic and run the red light at the previous intersection, it seems that "rights" only go one way.)  The general rule appears to be that bikers get to ignore all the rules that are inconvenient for them and insist that everyone else allow them all the rights of the road that they can imagine.

So ...  Was I wrong to jump on the "hope you are sued" option?  Yes.

But as someone else pointed out, your complete self-absorbtion with your perspective and complete absence of any semblance of concern for the 60-year-old lady you hit was amazing and inexcusable.  Even if you really are the rare exception who obeys the various traffic laws while on a bike.

And finally, you would be easier to ignore if you had not changed your moniker. I do not use "ignore" very often, but your kind of whining self-centeredness I can do without.
[/soapbox]
Up in the Air

VirtualBob

  • Pope
  • Posts: 5630
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #42 on: October 14, 2011, 12:17:22 pm »
...as you immediately hoping he gets sued adds nothing to your credibility
Good point.  See previous post.

That being said, I hope the old Asian-American is OK
Yes.  That would be very nice and also avoid the lawsuit question (presumably).
Up in the Air

sporadic

  • Should Have Quit 500 Posts Ago
  • Posts: 1954
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #43 on: October 14, 2011, 12:54:52 pm »
Good point.  See previous post.
Yes.  That would be very nice and also avoid the lawsuit question (presumably).

gotcha.  loved your bicycle rant, for this right here:   The general rule appears to be that bikers get to ignore all the rules that are inconvenient for them and insist that everyone else allow them all the rights of the road that they can imagine.

The wife and I take middle son to football games on Saturday mornings.  The park is located on a road that goes to, and eventually through, the Sam Houston National Forest.  It is only two lanes, really curvy and has quite a bit of traffic - not sure why the Lance Armstrong's of the world choose to ride their own personal Tour de Montgomery County on the sumbitch every fucking saturday.  There is a T intersection with a blinking red/yellow light and a 4 way stop along our way to the fields.  Every saturday I tell my wife I wish a cop would sit at one of the two locations and start ticketing those buzzing through without stopping (they are making right hand turns onto a 12" "shoulder" without even a hint of hesitation). 

Also, I am fat and will not be riding a bike anytime soon.

S.P. Rodriguez

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 2932
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #44 on: October 14, 2011, 01:02:21 pm »
gotcha.  loved your bicycle rant, for this right here:   The general rule appears to be that bikers get to ignore all the rules that are inconvenient for them and insist that everyone else allow them all the rights of the road that they can imagine.

The wife and I take middle son to football games on Saturday mornings.  The park is located on a road that goes to, and eventually through, the Sam Houston National Forest.  It is only two lanes, really curvy and has quite a bit of traffic - not sure why the Lance Armstrong's of the world choose to ride their own personal Tour de Montgomery County on the sumbitch every fucking saturday.  There is a T intersection with a blinking red/yellow light and a 4 way stop along our way to the fields.  Every saturday I tell my wife I wish a cop would sit at one of the two locations and start ticketing those buzzing through without stopping (they are making right hand turns onto a 12" "shoulder" without even a hint of hesitation). 

Also, I am fat and will not be riding a bike anytime soon.


You should have stopped at fat, as that nullifies the rest of your opinion. 
"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. "

-Mark Twain

sporadic

  • Should Have Quit 500 Posts Ago
  • Posts: 1954
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #45 on: October 14, 2011, 01:19:27 pm »
You should have stopped at fat, as that nullifies the rest of your opinion. 

in that case I should have started with fat!!  BUT, it is a damn stupid place to ride a bike.  AND, if I cant run stop signs bikes should not be able to do so either.

geezerdonk

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3342
  • a long tradition of existence
    • View Profile
I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #46 on: October 14, 2011, 01:38:54 pm »
They may be assholes but you have to admit the costumes are way cool.
E come vivo? Vivo.

Ebby Calvin

  • Contributor
  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3595
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #47 on: October 14, 2011, 01:46:25 pm »

But as someone else pointed out, your complete self-absorbtion with your perspective and complete absence of any semblance of concern for the 60-year-old lady you hit was amazing and inexcusable.  Even if you really are the rare exception who obeys the various traffic laws while on a bike.


I don't know JT personally, and I may be way off base here, but I think the whole point of this thread was "do you think I'm going to get sued?"  I wouldn't expect Joey (or anybody else) to start a thread just to talk about how worried they are for the poor woman's well-being.

I give JT the benefit of the doubt and assume he's a good person.
Don't think twice, it's alright.

Limey

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 32079
  • Tally Ho!
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #48 on: October 14, 2011, 02:57:39 pm »
Because they wash dishes again an hour later?

Is that what the kids Hudson is calling it these days?
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

Limey

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 32079
  • Tally Ho!
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #49 on: October 14, 2011, 03:00:18 pm »
They may be assholes but you have to admit the costumes are way cool.

Racing bikers also shave their legs, despite the fact that there's no competitive advantage to it.  NTTAWWT.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

S.P. Rodriguez

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 2932
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #50 on: October 14, 2011, 03:01:12 pm »
Racing bikers also shave their legs, despite the fact that there's no competitive advantage to it.  NTTAWWT.

They feel pretty, oh so pretty!
"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. "

-Mark Twain

Guinness

  • Guest
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #51 on: October 14, 2011, 03:22:27 pm »
I give JT the benefit of the doubt and assume he's a good person.

He never explained why she was on his bike and why he had to hit her.

headhunter

  • Veteran Role Player
  • Posts: 336
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #52 on: October 14, 2011, 10:30:16 pm »
I guess I didn't explain it clearly enough, but th't ere were two onlookers who essentially forced the cops and ambulance into the situation. Since the lady and her husband didn't speak English, they didn't bother to ask them whether to do it they just said that's what they were going to do, even though the lady stood up a few seconds after the collision and I wasn't going very fast.

I have no idea if she's okay, and I certainly hope she is. As a separate issue, I also hope I don't get sued.
awesome. we both want the same things on both issues (not hurt/no lawsuit). but back to your characterization of the bystanders: since you don't speak Chinese, how do you know those inscrutable old chinese people weren't begging for someone to call the police and EMT before that crazy round eyed Cocksuka (say it like mr. woo) gets away?
And as far as her standing up fast--she's chinese, not an Italian soccer player. maybe you really did hurt her and it was fear and adrenaline that popped her up fast. And based on the reaction of several people at the scene, maybe it was worth having the old gal looked at, just in case. And aren't you lucky one of her grandson's wasn't there to knock your head in for running into his honorable grandmother--they are honor bound to do that because of ancestor worship and all that, right? Or is it just ninjas who do that? Fuck, what if someone in her vast slanty-eyed family is in one of those Tong's, like in Big Trouble in Little China or The Killer ? Wouldn't that be worse than a lawsuit? Can anyone who has played the chinatown edition of GTA help out with this? Come to think of it, maybe getting sued is the least of your problems.
 
my probation officer is real proud of me
I drive an Olds 88 got the devil on a leash...
I'm going out West...

Col. Sphinx Drummond

  • Fantasy Team Owner
  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 16760
  • art is a bulwark against the irrationality of man
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #53 on: October 15, 2011, 09:36:22 am »

 And as for my "fat ass", I'd be glad to match times with you in a half-marathon any time.

If you guys could set up a race, I'd pay $50.00 to the winner's favorite charity.
Everyone's talking, few of them know
The rest are pretending, they put on a show
And if there's a message I guess this is it
Truth isn't easy, the easy part's shit

Rebel Jew

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3469
    • View Profile
    • Rebel Jew
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #54 on: October 15, 2011, 11:42:54 am »
awesome. we both want the same things on both issues (not hurt/no lawsuit). but back to your characterization of the bystanders: since you don't speak Chinese, how do you know those inscrutable old chinese people weren't begging for someone to call the police and EMT before that crazy round eyed Cocksuka (say it like mr. woo) gets away?
And as far as her standing up fast--she's chinese, not an Italian soccer player. maybe you really did hurt her and it was fear and adrenaline that popped her up fast. And based on the reaction of several people at the scene, maybe it was worth having the old gal looked at, just in case. And aren't you lucky one of her grandson's wasn't there to knock your head in for running into his honorable grandmother--they are honor bound to do that because of ancestor worship and all that, right? Or is it just ninjas who do that? Fuck, what if someone in her vast slanty-eyed family is in one of those Tong's, like in Big Trouble in Little China or The Killer ? Wouldn't that be worse than a lawsuit? Can anyone who has played the chinatown edition of GTA help out with this? Come to think of it, maybe getting sued is the least of your problems.
 

this is brilliant
« Last Edit: October 15, 2011, 01:27:39 pm by VirtualBob Fanclub #1 »

Fredia

  • Pope
  • Posts: 6896
  • Looking forward
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #55 on: October 15, 2011, 12:42:50 pm »
come to austin, the bicycylist are always in the right, but you will have to wear a spandex bike suit
forever is composed entirely of nows

VirtualBob

  • Pope
  • Posts: 5630
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #56 on: October 15, 2011, 05:00:57 pm »
come to austin, the bicycylist are always in the right, but you will have to wear a spandex bike suit
Please!! Wear whatever you want but stay away from Austin.  We have all the bozo bikers we need.
Up in the Air

Lurch

  • Pope
  • Posts: 5931
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #57 on: October 15, 2011, 05:27:31 pm »
Please!! Wear whatever you want but stay away from Austin.  We have all the bozo bikers we need.

The guy in the thong goes by our building daily
I wish the first word I had said when I was born was 'quote'. Then before I die, I could say, 'unquote.' --Steven Wright

Rebel Jew

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3469
    • View Profile
    • Rebel Jew
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #58 on: October 15, 2011, 05:51:46 pm »
Please!! Wear whatever you want but stay away from Austin.  We have all the bozo bikers we need.

I lived in Austin on and off for ten years and used to ride my bike to work from S. 5th and Oltorf to Stassney and Manchaca.

headhunter

  • Veteran Role Player
  • Posts: 336
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #59 on: October 15, 2011, 06:25:31 pm »
I lived in Austin on and off for ten years and used to ride my bike to work from S. 5th and Oltorf to Stassney and Manchaca.
I used to live right off of oltorf too almost twenty years ago. Rented a place that dead-ended at the back of Green Pastures restaurant--which was fun because I'd get fucked up in their Gazebo at odd hours and enjoyed the peacocks a lot. I was not sober enough to reliably operate a bicycle in those fine days--I had to walk or ride a bus if I was going to arrive at a destination without being a threat to myself and others. Still, I must confess that I  recall with fondness that tranquil space within the brief (though feeling so timeless as it occurs) period of flight preceding the abrupt stop that may reliably found while riding a bicycle very fast while very intoxicated in Austin in the early nineties at night.   
my probation officer is real proud of me
I drive an Olds 88 got the devil on a leash...
I'm going out West...

Rebel Jew

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3469
    • View Profile
    • Rebel Jew
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #60 on: October 15, 2011, 09:36:42 pm »
I used to live right off of oltorf too almost twenty years ago. Rented a place that dead-ended at the back of Green Pastures restaurant--which was fun because I'd get fucked up in their Gazebo at odd hours and enjoyed the peacocks a lot. I was not sober enough to reliably operate a bicycle in those fine days--I had to walk or ride a bus if I was going to arrive at a destination without being a threat to myself and others. Still, I must confess that I  recall with fondness that tranquil space within the brief (though feeling so timeless as it occurs) period of flight preceding the abrupt stop that may reliably found while riding a bicycle very fast while very intoxicated in Austin in the early nineties at night.  

A good friend of mine used to wait tables at green pastures. I went over there a few times to meet up with her when she got off work and we'd walk around that neighborhood drinking and just generally having fun. Austin's a fun town to walk and bike around on party nights. When I lived in East Austin, I spent more than a few nights running around Disch-Falk after hours with friends-- it almost got to be a regular hangout after a while. I'm sure Jim R approves.

headhunter

  • Veteran Role Player
  • Posts: 336
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #61 on: October 15, 2011, 10:41:21 pm »
A good friend of mine used to wait tables at green pastures. I went over there a few times to meet up with her when she got off work and we'd walk around that neighborhood drinking and just generally having fun. Austin's a fun town to walk and bike around on party nights. When I lived in East Austin, I spent more than a few nights running around Disch-Falk after hours with friends-- it almost got to be a regular hangout after a while. I'm sure Jim R approves.
never did the after hours Dish-Falk thing, though I lived on the east side just a few blocks from it for a year. back then the east side of I-35 was great if you didn't mind the occasional crackhead disappointed that you couldn't help him score or transvestite prostitute hiding in your backyard from unhappy customers. good times, and the rent was awesome.
my probation officer is real proud of me
I drive an Olds 88 got the devil on a leash...
I'm going out West...

Jose Cruz III

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 4094
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #62 on: October 17, 2011, 06:05:10 pm »
So today I was riding my bike in San Francisco at a busy intersection. I rode through a crosswalk legally, but the light changed to yellow as I made it through. However, once I passed the crosswalk I saw an old Chinese lady crossing the street the other way (she started a second or two before the walk sign came on, as people often do at busy intersections). I yelled "heyyyyyyyyy" but it was too late and I hit her and knocked her to the ground (I fell off my bike too I think). I wasn't going very fast, and didn't think she was hurt too bad, but neither her nor her husband spoke English, and some overly concerned onlookers called an ambulance and the police. So eventually the police came. I gave my side of the story, some asshole bleeding heart onlookers gave theirs that I'm a terrible evil bike marauder, but the cops agreed with me that it was an accident. Unfortunately, the lady was immobilized and taken away on a stretcher and put into the ambulance. From what I could tell, at worst her knee is a little banged up but who knows considering her age (probably late 60's)? For whatever reason, one of the cops told me some story about a lady who recently got hit by a bike, seemed fine, but died a week later from the injuries. Great. He also told me that somehow this type of thing becomes a car insurance situation.

So here's my question:  Am I going to get sued?
You wouldn't have to worry about being sued if you had this collision in Alabama. They would have checked her papers and if she couldn't prove she was a legal citizen then back to China she would have went.
Unga bungaed by the BBGs.

"No. Humans will die out. We're weak. Dinosaurs survived on rotten flesh. You got diarrhea last week from a Wendy's."

JimR

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 29345
    • View Profile
    • McGinnis, Lochridge & Kilgore, LLP
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #63 on: October 17, 2011, 08:10:00 pm »
A good friend of mine used to wait tables at green pastures. I went over there a few times to meet up with her when she got off work and we'd walk around that neighborhood drinking and just generally having fun. Austin's a fun town to walk and bike around on party nights. When I lived in East Austin, I spent more than a few nights running around Disch-Falk after hours with friends-- it almost got to be a regular hangout after a while. I'm sure Jim R approves.

i love how you call French Place "East Austin." that's so funny.
Often wrong, but never in doubt.

Rebel Jew

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3469
    • View Profile
    • Rebel Jew
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #64 on: October 18, 2011, 12:02:03 am »
i love how you call French Place "East Austin." that's so funny.

at the time I lived on canterbury st. at comal. do real austinites like yourself refer to that area as "east austin?"

headhunter

  • Veteran Role Player
  • Posts: 336
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #65 on: October 18, 2011, 06:45:22 am »
at the time I lived on canterbury st. at comal. do real austinites like yourself refer to that area as "east austin?"
you said the name and it did appear and now you taunt it. don't you have enough trouble with the ninjas?
nothing you throw at it is going to make it disappear in a puff of acrid old man diaper smell.
yes, you can live without a spleen but you'll always hear that humorless angry chuckle as it gums your innards.
fuck man, get on your bike and Go!
my probation officer is real proud of me
I drive an Olds 88 got the devil on a leash...
I'm going out West...

das

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3465
    • View Profile
    • Faith Home Ministries
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #66 on: October 25, 2011, 02:07:04 pm »
Still, I must confess that I  recall with fondness that tranquil space within the brief (though feeling so timeless as it occurs) period of flight preceding the abrupt stop that may reliably found while riding a bicycle very fast while very intoxicated in Austin in the early nineties at night.   

So, my first year at NC State, I’m at Mitch’s Tavern on Hillsborough Street right across from Campus hanging out with a buddy of mine.  The place closes at 2am but we stay till 4am because we learned early that if you bring in a pizza for the bar staff when you get there and another for the bar backs, you get to 1) drink for free that evening and 2) get to stay late while they “clean up”, eat your pizza and drink some more.  Buddy and I roll out of Mitch’s to head back to the dorm to grab a couple of hours of sleep before class and I suggest we ride the bike.  It’s one of those old fat tire single-speed boardwalk bikes with the wide handlebars so he has a comfy seat right there in the middle of the gently sloped handlebars.  As he climbs on, he says, “you crash and I’m going to pound you”.  Gary was a big dude.  We start yacking and riding and yacking and riding and *BAM*, right into a telephone pole.  I don’t know how that round tire hit that round pole square but the bike stopped dead and Gary didn’t.  the first thing to hit the pole was his forehead because he had his arms tucked up under him on the handlebars.  The next thing to hit shortly thereafter was my face on the back of his head.  I woke up to my friend Gary repeatedly punching me in the face.  Even after that pummeling, I still looked tons better than he did.  Not surprisingly, after we gathered ourselves, he did not think it was funny when I climbed back on the bike to limp the rest of the way home and pointed to the handlebars and said, “hop on”.

Just for fun, here’s a link to the pole.  I’m guessing there may still be bits of Gary’s forehead in there.  Click over to the left a little and you’ll see Mitch’s just up the road with a bunch of flags on it.  You can get going surprisingly fast on that downhill if you are not paying attention or are inebriated. 
http://maps.google.com/maps?q=nc+state+university&hl=en&ll=35.787565,-78.667176&spn=0.000002,0.002059&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=57.902911,59.414063&vpsrc=6&hq=nc+state+university&t=h&z=20&layer=c&cbll=35.787599,-78.667302&panoid=gpb01D8rKXWQSaZSUk4cng&cbp=12,32.36,,0,5.86

I see Gary every 5 years or so.  The first thing I do is laugh at the scar on his forehead.  Moral of the story is:  bikes and drinking are bad news.
Another trenchant comment by a jealous lesser intellect.

hostros7

  • Pope
  • Posts: 7929
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #67 on: October 25, 2011, 02:47:40 pm »
So, my first year at NC State, I’m at Mitch’s Tavern on Hillsborough Street right across from Campus hanging out with a buddy of mine.  The place closes at 2am but we stay till 4am because we learned early that if you bring in a pizza for the bar staff when you get there and another for the bar backs, you get to 1) drink for free that evening and 2) get to stay late while they “clean up”, eat your pizza and drink some more.  Buddy and I roll out of Mitch’s to head back to the dorm to grab a couple of hours of sleep before class and I suggest we ride the bike.  It’s one of those old fat tire single-speed boardwalk bikes with the wide handlebars so he has a comfy seat right there in the middle of the gently sloped handlebars.  As he climbs on, he says, “you crash and I’m going to pound you”.  Gary was a big dude.   

This reads like an intro to a very NTTAWWT video. 

Lurch

  • Pope
  • Posts: 5931
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #68 on: October 25, 2011, 02:50:51 pm »
This reads like an intro to a very NTTAWWT video. 

Dear Playgirl, I never thought it would happen to me...
I wish the first word I had said when I was born was 'quote'. Then before I die, I could say, 'unquote.' --Steven Wright

EasTexAstro

  • Pope
  • Posts: 5748
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #69 on: October 25, 2011, 02:54:32 pm »
So, my first year at NC State, I’m at Mitch’s Tavern on Hillsborough Street right across from Campus hanging out with a buddy of mine.  The place closes at 2am but we stay till 4am because we learned early that if you bring in a pizza for the bar staff when you get there and another for the bar backs, you get to 1) drink for free that evening and 2) get to stay late while they “clean up”, eat your pizza and drink some more.  Buddy and I roll out of Mitch’s to head back to the dorm to grab a couple of hours of sleep before class and I suggest we ride the bike.  It’s one of those old fat tire single-speed boardwalk bikes with the wide handlebars so he has a comfy seat right there in the middle of the gently sloped handlebars.  As he climbs on, he says, “you crash and I’m going to pound you”.  Gary was a big dude.  We start yacking and riding and yacking and riding and *BAM*, right into a telephone pole.  I don’t know how that round tire hit that round pole square but the bike stopped dead and Gary didn’t.  the first thing to hit the pole was his forehead because he had his arms tucked up under him on the handlebars.  The next thing to hit shortly thereafter was my face on the back of his head.  I woke up to my friend Gary repeatedly punching me in the face.  Even after that pummeling, I still looked tons better than he did.  Not surprisingly, after we gathered ourselves, he did not think it was funny when I climbed back on the bike to limp the rest of the way home and pointed to the handlebars and said, “hop on”.

Just for fun, here’s a link to the pole.  I’m guessing there may still be bits of Gary’s forehead in there.  Click over to the left a little and you’ll see Mitch’s just up the road with a bunch of flags on it.  You can get going surprisingly fast on that downhill if you are not paying attention or are inebriated. 
http://maps.google.com/maps?q=nc+state+university&hl=en&ll=35.787565,-78.667176&spn=0.000002,0.002059&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=57.902911,59.414063&vpsrc=6&hq=nc+state+university&t=h&z=20&layer=c&cbll=35.787599,-78.667302&panoid=gpb01D8rKXWQSaZSUk4cng&cbp=12,32.36,,0,5.86

I see Gary every 5 years or so.  The first thing I do is laugh at the scar on his forehead.  Moral of the story is:  bikes and drinking are bad news.

How does the Chinese lady fit in to the story?
It's my estimation that every man ever got a statue made of 'em was one kinda sombitch or another.

JimR

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 29345
    • View Profile
    • McGinnis, Lochridge & Kilgore, LLP
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #70 on: October 25, 2011, 02:57:12 pm »
How does the Chinese lady fit in to the story?

from a prone position
Often wrong, but never in doubt.

Bench

  • Illuminati
  • Posts: 16476
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #71 on: October 25, 2011, 03:13:43 pm »
How does the Chinese lady fit in to the story?

Don't be so jaded.
"Holy shit, Mozart. Get me off this fucking thing."

headhunter

  • Veteran Role Player
  • Posts: 336
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #72 on: October 26, 2011, 12:32:32 pm »
So, my first year at NC State, I’m at Mitch’s Tavern on Hillsborough Street right across from Campus hanging out with a buddy of mine.  The place closes at 2am but we stay till 4am because we learned early that if you bring in a pizza for the bar staff when you get there and another for the bar backs, you get to 1) drink for free that evening and 2) get to stay late while they “clean up”, eat your pizza and drink some more.  Buddy and I roll out of Mitch’s to head back to the dorm to grab a couple of hours of sleep before class and I suggest we ride the bike.  It’s one of those old fat tire single-speed boardwalk bikes with the wide handlebars so he has a comfy seat right there in the middle of the gently sloped handlebars.  As he climbs on, he says, “you crash and I’m going to pound you”.  Gary was a big dude.  We start yacking and riding and yacking and riding and *BAM*, right into a telephone pole.  I don’t know how that round tire hit that round pole square but the bike stopped dead and Gary didn’t.  the first thing to hit the pole was his forehead because he had his arms tucked up under him on the handlebars.  The next thing to hit shortly thereafter was my face on the back of his head.  I woke up to my friend Gary repeatedly punching me in the face.  Even after that pummeling, I still looked tons better than he did.  Not surprisingly, after we gathered ourselves, he did not think it was funny when I climbed back on the bike to limp the rest of the way home and pointed to the handlebars and said, “hop on”.

Just for fun, here’s a link to the pole.  I’m guessing there may still be bits of Gary’s forehead in there.  Click over to the left a little and you’ll see Mitch’s just up the road with a bunch of flags on it.  You can get going surprisingly fast on that downhill if you are not paying attention or are inebriated. 
http://maps.google.com/maps?q=nc+state+university&hl=en&ll=35.787565,-78.667176&spn=0.000002,0.002059&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=57.902911,59.414063&vpsrc=6&hq=nc+state+university&t=h&z=20&layer=c&cbll=35.787599,-78.667302&panoid=gpb01D8rKXWQSaZSUk4cng&cbp=12,32.36,,0,5.86

I see Gary every 5 years or so.  The first thing I do is laugh at the scar on his forehead.  Moral of the story is:  bikes and drinking are bad news.
gary is an asshole and deserves both the scar and your laughter. repeated blows to the face are uncalled for, no matter how horribly you drive a bicycle while drunk. it doesn't sound like you got to fly either. I was fortunate enough to hit something solid enough to stop the bicycle completely but low enough that I could clear it without interrupting my flight. Low...Sturdy...? Fuck, maybe I hit an old chinese woman too?
my probation officer is real proud of me
I drive an Olds 88 got the devil on a leash...
I'm going out West...

headhunter

  • Veteran Role Player
  • Posts: 336
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #73 on: October 26, 2011, 12:51:21 pm »
How does the Chinese lady fit in to the story?
you didn't follow Das's link.
The old chinese women who manages the Golden Dragon is the one who caused Das's collision with the pole. Hearing two obviously drunk round-eyed devils outside of her restaurant on an otherwise deserted street she perceived another opportunity to make MA MA Su's special dumpling. As the Bike approached the pole she pulled a rope taut that she had placed there for this very purpose. MA MA Su was  disappointed that neither idiot devil died in the accident, and the big one seemed to have too much fight in him to safely subdue.
my probation officer is real proud of me
I drive an Olds 88 got the devil on a leash...
I'm going out West...

BizidyDizidy

  • Pope
  • Posts: 8836
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #74 on: October 26, 2011, 12:59:03 pm »
Day drinking headhunter, I like it.
"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
  -  Orson Welles

geezerdonk

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3342
  • a long tradition of existence
    • View Profile
I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #75 on: October 26, 2011, 01:37:33 pm »
Don't be so jaded.

He was just trying to give the story a different slant.
E come vivo? Vivo.

headhunter

  • Veteran Role Player
  • Posts: 336
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #76 on: October 26, 2011, 01:51:53 pm »
Day drinking headhunter, I like it.
My green cherry green sencha packs a wicked ninja punch, and that Bao Zhong Oolong kicks like Clair Chennault bitch-slapping Icky Tojo.
Really shouldn't go for the third steeping, obviously I need to work on my tolerance to artisan reserves.
Damn, now I'm thirsty again--let's see..how about Irish breakfast...for lunch!  
my probation officer is real proud of me
I drive an Olds 88 got the devil on a leash...
I'm going out West...

headhunter

  • Veteran Role Player
  • Posts: 336
    • View Profile
Re: I hit an old chinese lady on my bike today
« Reply #77 on: October 26, 2011, 01:53:58 pm »
He was just trying to give the story a different slant.
most honorable number one pun
my probation officer is real proud of me
I drive an Olds 88 got the devil on a leash...
I'm going out West...