Cards at Astros 6/7/11

[believin]

Cards

Theriot, SS
Rasmus, CF
Pujols, 1B
Berkman, LF
Craig, RF
Molina, C
Shumaker, 2B
Decalso, 3B
Westbrook, P



Astros

Bourn, CF
Barmes, SS
Pence, RF
Lee, LF
Keppinger, 2B
Wallace, 1B
Johnson, 3B
Towles, C
Myers, P

[Lurch]

Shitfuck.  Lance goes yard w a man on

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

The credit card machines are down at MMP. FML.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Craig busts a shin running after Barmes foul. Replaced by Jay.

[austro]

The credit card machines are down at MMP. FML.

You can only yank what, $400/day? That'll only get you two beers. You need to do a better job of planning ahead.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Kabong!!!

[Lurch]

He enjoyed that one...

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

You can only yank what, $400/day? That'll only get you two beers. You need to do a better job of planning ahead.

Good thing I'm already taking out a mortgage this month.

[JaneDoe]

He enjoyed that one...

Ummm....who?

[austro]

Ummm....who?

El Caballo.

[Ron Brand]

C'mon Kepp.

[Ron Brand]

Nerts.

[austro]

Nerts.

Well, at least Westbrook didn't throw it past him.

[Ron Brand]

Fuck you, Puma.

[OregonStrosFan]

STHU Berkman!

[JaneDoe]

Fuck you, Puma.

Fuck you and your mullet, too.

[Ron Brand]

That certainly sucked.

[austro]

You have got to be kidding me. The pitcher?

[Ty in Tampa]

Just tuned in. Perhaps I shouldn't have.

[BudGirl]

You didn't see that coming?  And is there a reason the play by barmes wasn't an error?

[HudsonHawk]

You didn't see that coming?  And is there a reason the play by barmes wasn't an error?

Because it was a nearly impossible play by Barmes.

[austro]

And is there a reason the play by barmes wasn't an error?

In the hole, long throw, I guess they're just saying that it was a difficult play that wasn't an automatic out.

[Ron Brand]

Damn it's embarrassing to play like this at home.

[austro]

Damn it's embarrassing to play like this at home.

I don't think Towles is the guy I would rely on to make a hit-and-run work, especially knowing that Wallace is a near-certain dead duck if the ball isn't put in play.

[OregonStrosFan]

I don't think Towles is the guy I would rely on to make a hit-and-run work, especially knowing that Wallace is a near-certain dead duck if the ball isn't put in play.

[BudGirl]

I don't think Towles is the guy I would rely on to make a hit-and-run work, especially knowing that Wallace is a near-certain dead duck if the ball isn't put in play.

Then he gets a double. Figures.

And I thought error when the throw went to the dugout.

[Ron Brand]

Patty found a season ticket holder!

[JaneDoe]

Patty found a season ticket holder!

Or so they say....

[austro]

And I thought error when the throw went to the dugout.

But it didn't go in, and I don't think the batter/runner moved up to 2nd, did he?

[Lurch]

Patty found a season ticket holder!

great seats.  that's what I'd go for too... 300s, first row

[BudGirl]

great seats.  that's what I'd go for too... 300s, first row

Not on that play

[Ron Brand]

Another hard-hit ball by CJ. He's been picking it up pretty well lately.

[Ron Brand]

Nice kick, Boots.

[JaneDoe]

That was a thing of beauty.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Once a Cub, always a Cub.

[JaneDoe]

Once a Cub, always a Cub.

Greatness.

[Ron Brand]

Damn. Don't want Downs broken up out there.

[dirty steve]

little late for this, but if you are an astros fan and you still cheer for berkman, then you are a shithead.  give him props in his first game back, and that's it.  even that is stretching it.

surprised lagenius wasnt bitching about the RF seats jumping out and injuring allen craig.

[austro]

That hand looks ugly.

[Ron Brand]

Is it time to pad the backstop?

[Ron Brand]

That hand looks ugly.

I guess it's not broken, he'd surely know it if it was.

[dirty steve]

downs' bare hand looks like he is wearing the bagwell wrist protector.

[OregonStrosFan]

So, you're in a bar brawl and can only chose 2 current Astros players (as in no Brocail) to have your back, which 2 are they?

Fulchino and Myers might be legit choices, but for me I think I want Kepp and Downs.  Thoughts?

[Ron Brand]

Lee and Wallace wouldn't be bad.

[dirty steve]

So, you're in a bar brawl and can only chose 2 current Astros players (as in no Brocail) to have your back, which 2 are they?

Fulchino and Myers might be legit choices, but for me I think I want Kepp and Downs.  Thoughts?

i go fulchino for the brawn, and maybe keppinger because he looks like he pull a knife on you pretty fast.

[moriartp]

I think you hit it right on the head. Fulchino & Myers.

[austro]

little late for this, but if you are an astros fan and you still cheer for berkman, then you are a shithead.

Thanks for your vote of confidence.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

I'd take Bourgeois and Angel.

[austro]

I guess it's not broken, he'd surely know it if it was.

Even if it were, he'd probably stay in as a runner just to avoid burning another player.

[BudGirl]

Myers and Q in a fight.

[OregonStrosFan]

keppinger because he looks like he pull a knife on you pretty fast.

That right there.

And yep, I'd probably go Fulchino over Downs as well...

[OregonStrosFan]

Lee and Wallace wouldn't be bad.

Carlos? You're kidding, right?

[OregonStrosFan]

Myers and Q in a fight.

I can see Q, 'cause the dude can take some punishment and is a tough hombre.  Legit chance he'd be in my top 5!

[Ron Brand]

Carlos? You're kidding, right?

Hell no. Dude's a refrigerator with feet. He's not some hot gunfighter guy, but he's large enough to make just about anyone step back.

[MusicMan]

Multiple votes for Myers??  Is this fight in a lesbian bar?

[austro]

Multiple votes for Myers??  Is this fight in a lesbian bar?

Myers is known to have smacked somebody. Everybody else is just speculation.

[dirty steve]

Carlos? You're kidding, right?

maybe bruce lee and bill "superfoot" wallace?

[OregonStrosFan]

Hell no. Dude's a refrigerator with feet. He's not some hot gunfighter guy, but he's large enough to make just about anyone step back.

Dude, you're already in the brawl, not trying to avoid one.  Unless its a hug-off, I'm pretty sure Carlos wouldn't be an appropriate choice here... He just seems too nice...

[moriartp]

Gotta say

So, you're in a bar brawl and can only chose 2 current Astros players (as in no Brocail) to have your back, which 2 are they?

Might want to exclude Brocail for his own safety. Wouldn't want him to suffer a hemorrhage.

[Ron Brand]

Dude, you're already in the brawl, not trying to avoid one.  Unless its a hug-off, I'm pretty sure Carlos wouldn't be an appropriate choice here... He just seems too nice...

I'm sorry, I didn't read all the rules of this scenario. Is Leroy Jenkins available?

[dirty steve]

Gotta say
Might want to exclude Brocail for his own safety. Wouldn't want him to suffer a hemorrhage.

if we're going former astros, i have to include danny darwin.

[moriartp]

Anyone not picking Fulchino might want to look at this picture again.

[Ron Brand]

If we're going former Astros, Turk Farrell might be on my list.

[austro]

If we're going former Astros, Turk Farrell might be on my list.

Ron Villone.

[austro]

And, of course, The Great Bill Spiers.

[MusicMan]

He may look like a gay Curious George, but I'll take Hampton.

[Ron Brand]

And, of course, The Great Bill Spiers.

Yes. You want a guy with a bit of the red ass on your side.

[dirty steve]

so larussa wears his sunglasses at night in the dugout, but takes them off when  leaves the dugout?

[BudGirl]

Former astro is obvious. Mike Hampton

[dirty steve]

carl everett?

[Ron Brand]

Bob Watson was a Marine.

[dirty steve]

so swisher likes it wet, and papelbon likes it dry?  worst promotional campaign ever.

[Ron Brand]

so swisher likes it wet, and papelbon likes it dry?  worst promotional campaign ever.

Sheeeeit. I got a TexMessage for you.

[Ron Brand]

Is Alkie in Rikers?

[Ron Brand]

After that screaming foul the best thing EDR could've done was bounce a couple. Pujols was zeroing in.

[BudGirl]

He was due for that

[austro]

That Pujols smirk really gets on my nerves.

[Ron Brand]

You gotta be kidding. Berkman leads in RF AS voting? Fuck.

[dirty steve]

cool. that's pujols' 86th career HR at MMP.

[Ron Brand]

EDR could stand to mix in a different pitch every so often.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Fuck. I've been handing the balloons that drift down to the six year old girl sitting behind us, and she screams like a banshee when Pujols goes yard. I'm popping the next balloon.

[austro]

EDR could stand to mix in a different pitch every so often.

There. He mixed in a few balls.

[Ron Brand]

There. He mixed in a few balls.

Yeah, as soon as I typed it he bounced one and then threw one two feet outside.

[Ron Brand]

Back through the box, CJ. Shake him up.

[Ron Brand]

I guess Sanchez didn't take Molina seriously.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

C'mon Michaels.

[JaneDoe]

Fuck. I've been handing the balloons that drift down to the six year old girl sitting behind us, and she screams like a banshee when Pujols goes yard. I'm popping the next balloon.

Go. For. It.

[OregonStrosFan]

So, the Twitter responses had it as follows: Myers x4, Fulchino X3, Pence x2, Towles x2, Michaels, Sanchez, Q, CJ, and Springer (once he signs).

Best explanation for a choice: "JR cause he is utterly expendable."

[moriartp]

Best explanation for a choice: "JR cause he is utterly expendable."

Winner.

[Ron Brand]

Man, all these moves by the manager. He must be some kind of Genius.

[austro]

So, the Twitter responses had it as follows: Myers x4, Fulchino X3, Pence x2, Towles x2, Michaels, Sanchez, Q, CJ, and Springer (once he signs).

Best explanation for a choice: "JR cause he is utterly expendable."

I was kind of wondering if Pence might be a good choice because his total unpredictability and crazy eyes might just cause the other guys to run away.

[Ron Brand]

I was kind of wondering if Pence might be a good choice because his total unpredictability and crazy eyes might just cause the other guys to run away.

Yeah, but he might just turn on you on his way to a glass door.

[OregonStrosFan]

I was kind of wondering if Pence might be a good choice because his total unpredictability and crazy eyes might just cause the other guys to run away.

Yep, can't fault the Pence choice for exactly that reason...

[Ron Brand]

Whew. Close one, Michaels.

[Ron Brand]

That's twice Bourn has fanned on high fastballs.

[Bench]

Brutal at bat for Michael.  He's a tad off tonight. 

It happens to the best of us.

[Ron Brand]

Son of a bitch. Bases loaded twice and fuck all to show for it.

[Bench]

"ALMOST went for the breaking ball in the dirt."

Almost. 

[austro]

Salas has got to be wondering why Hunter isn't going for that shit.

[Ron Brand]

Molina looks like a hideous tranny.

[MusicMan]

Bases loaded, two outs: Jakes pitcher doubles to clear the bases.

Bases loaded, two outs: Astros best player strikes out.

Whoever's recapping tonight... consider your work done.

[HudsonHawk]

Geez that is some of the worst situational hitting in history.

[Ron Brand]

That was unexpected. Thunder Pants missing a strike 3 fastball in the middle of the plate and up.

[HudsonHawk]

Bases loaded, two outs: Jakes pitcher doubles to clear the bases.

Bases loaded, two outs: Astros best player strikes out.

Whoever's recapping tonight... consider your work done.

Astros bases loaded no outs...strikeout, popup, strikeout.

[MusicMan]

Astros bases loaded no outs...strikeout, popup, strikeout.

And not a soul was surprised.

[BudGirl]

Son of a bitch. Bases loaded twice and fuck all to show for it.

Twice? I thought it was three times.

[Ron Brand]

JD calls it the worst inning of the year.

[austro]

Brownie: "Two strikeouts and a shallow fly ball. That was unusual."

Um, no, Brownie, it wasn't at all unusual.

[MusicMan]

JD calls it the worst inning of the year.

And that's a hell of an accomplishmenet with this team.

[austro]

Twice? I thought it was three times.

Our one RBI in something like 6 ABs with the bases loaded came on a HBP. That's pretty sad.

[Ron Brand]

Ooooh. In the sac.

[Ron Brand]

Much nicer avatar, Austro.

[JaneDoe]

JD calls it the worst inning of the year.

Don't worry.  They will top it.

[Ron Brand]

Let the shitrain begin.

[BudGirl]

All they need is four runs to tie it.

[austro]

All they need is four runs to tie it.

They've already got three. Should be no problem.

[Ron Brand]

Chase it, you fucking Jake.

[austro]

If we could get Franklin into this game we'd have a chance, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.

[Ron Brand]

Blecch. 13 LOB.

[austro]

Bourgeois with a swinging K to end it. Fitting.

[Bench]

What a fucking awful game. 

I did enjoy the steak I ate tonight.  So, there's that.

[94CougarGrad]

Fuck the Jakes. Bah!

[Mr. Happy]

This was a true shitfest.