Turdinals @ Greenies: Missing Pujols Edition

[austro]

Classic: the Tank Commander has Pujols on the bench against his kryptonite, the mighty Bud Norris.

[BudGirl]

Too long of a welcome for twinkie. Then he gets a hit. Asshole

[Mr. Happy]

Too long of a welcome for twinkie. Then he gets a hit. Asshole

Disagree on all counts.

[Mr. Happy]

Let's see if Millsie's hunch to hit Hall in the 5 hole pays dividends.

[Ron Brand]

Nice hit by Wallace.

[Mr. Happy]

Nice hit by Wallace.

Too bad automatic out CJ hits behind him. They better send him down and move Hall to 3B and Sanchez to 2B when Barmes comes back.

[Ron Brand]

Or maybe split Sanchez at second and third.

[Gizzmonic]

The Little Pumas are back!  Less furry and more Asperger's this time.

[Mr. Happy]

Or maybe split Sanchez at second and third.

Can Sanchez play 3B?

[Mr. Happy]

Gosh Q is a good catcher!

[austro]

Can Sanchez play 3B?

Downs? I've got to think that Johnson is just about out of rope. He's now showing the same plate discipline as Pence.

[Ron Brand]

Can Sanchez play 3B?

Fuck if I know. Short has been an adventure and so has third. I doubt he'd be that horrible covering ground but his arm is pretty weak. At this point the infielders are kinda like the Island of Misfit Toys anyway.

[Mr. Happy]

Fuck if I know. Short has been an adventure and so has third. I doubt he'd be that horrible covering ground but his arm is pretty weak. At this point the infielders are kinda like the Island of Misfit Toys anyway.

Sanchez has enough arm to play the hot corner.

[Ron Brand]

Norris is relying on the best fielder on the team.

[Mr. Happy]

Downs? I've got to think that Johnson is just about out of rope. He's now showing the same plate discipline as Pence.

You're right about CJ. Clueless right now at the dish. Downs is more of a bench player.

[Ron Brand]

Sanchez has enough arm to play the hot corner.

You think? His throws from short are rainbows.

[pots]

Clemens 2 homeruns in the same inning against Round Rock

[Mr. Happy]

I've seen some cannon shots from SS out of Sanchez.

[Ron Brand]

I've seen some cannon shots from SS out of Sanchez.

Hell, slide him over then.

[VirtualBob]

Gosh Q is a good catcher!

duh!!

He has finally figured out the receiving part of the job description and has always had the arm and the courage to use it.

[Ron Brand]

Pence's green bobblehead will be him planting a tree.

[VirtualBob]

You think? His throws from short are rainbows.

I agree. No way is Sanchez more than an emergency third sacker.

[austro]

I've seen some cannon shots from SS out of Sanchez.

His footwork seems weird to me. He gets to the ball well enough, but he seems to do some sort of squaring up before throwing the ball. I don't quite know how to describe it, but it just looks a little odd. It bugs me the same way that watching that piss-ant Eckstein throw used to bug me.

[Mr. Happy]

duh!!

He has finally figured out the receiving part of the job description and has always had the arm and the courage to use it.

You made the point that I tried to make. Q has gotten quiet back there. That was my big problem with his work. The way that he was, he and i would have had trouble because he's havwe driven me crazy with all of that movement behind the dish.

[Hornstros]

Berkman needs to address the fans at some point to make up for missing Faith & Family Night last season

[Mr. Happy]

I agree. No way is Sanchez more than an emergency third sacker.

This is probably right. But what is CJ?

[chuck]

I will be astounded if the team sends CJ to OKC but Downs can play third just fine. He's got a better arm than CJ, that much I know for sure.

[Mr. Happy]

His footwork seems weird to me. He gets to the ball well enough, but he seems to do some sort of squaring up before throwing the ball. I don't quite know how to describe it, but it just looks a little odd. It bugs me the same way that watching that piss-ant Eckstein throw used to bug me.

His footwork definitely doesn't conjure up memories of AE or Omar Vizquel (possibly the best SS I ever saw play).

[VirtualBob]

Clemens 2 homeruns in the same inning against Round Rock

Cabrera knows where this belongs.

[Mr. Happy]

I will be astounded if the team sends CJ to OKC but Downs can play third just fine. He's got a better arm than CJ, that much I know for sure.

But how long do you stick with him?

[austro]

Whatever the reason (weight, knee, change of scenery), Lance's bat seems about twice as fast as last year.

[VirtualBob]

You made the point that I tried to make. Q has gotten quiet back there. That was my big problem with his work. The way that he was, he and i would have had trouble because he's havwe driven me crazy with all of that movement behind the dish.

exactly. I knew from your previous comments that you "get" this ... Probably a lot better than I do.

[VirtualBob]

This is probably right. But what is CJ?

A sOlid AAA 3B.

et correct iPhone "assistance"

[Mr. Happy]

Bud missed his spots twice against Berkman, but he has enough talent and movement to strike out Lance with a breaking ball that was up a little.

[Mr. Happy]

Bud is getting up a bit.

[MusicMan]

All with two outs. MF'er.

[austro]

All with two outs. MF'er.

And the bottom of the order. Frustrating.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Crap.

[Mr. Happy]

Fuckity mc fuck fuck.

[Mr. Happy]

Bud is really laboring. Now a full count.

[chuck]

But how long do you stick with him?

All year I suppose.

The SS position interests me a lot. Keeping Sanchez over Manzella to play SS when Barmes went down and moving Manzella all over the place in OKC tells me that the team does not think he is the answer to any question that involves SS. So who's the next actual prospect? Mier?

[MusicMan]

Bud, Octavio. Octavio, Bud.

[Mr. Happy]

All year I suppose.

The SS position interests me a lot. Keeping Sanchez over Manzella to play SS when Barmes went down and moving Manzella all over the place in OKC tells me that the team does not think he is the answer to any question that involves SS. So who's the next actual prospect? Mier?

I don't think that CJ gets a whole season looking the way that he's looking at the dish right now.

[MusicMan]

I am real tired of Hall's shit.

[Mr. Happy]

I am real tired of Hall's shit.

Me too. He's a hot dog.

[MusicMan]

Me too. He's a hot dog.

Not a good quality in any player, buy especially in a bad player. Which is what he is.

[Jacksonian]

So who's the next actual prospect? Mier?

Villar at Lancaster
Mier at Lexington

[chuck]

I don't think that CJ gets a whole season looking the way that he's looking at the dish right now.

Well, I mean, look, it's not as if the team is going to contend and he's the one piece that's holding everyone back. I think they need to find out if he's a major league player or not and I don't see why they won't give him a very, very long look. Like the SS position it's not like there's someone breathing down his neck demanding ABs. You'd rather see Oswaldo Navarro? I'd rather see if CJ can figure this shit out. He better, he has a brand new 7-series BMW to pay for.

[chuck]

Villar at Lancaster
Mier at Lexington

I forgot about Villar, yeah, thanks. He's a real prospect, certainly. I saw very little of him in the spring and of course that was his first spring in Florida with our guys.

[HudsonHawk]

I am real tired of Hall's shit.

You know the shit I'm tired of?  Giving up hits on fucking 0-2 pitches.

[Mr. Happy]

Well, I mean, look, it's not as if the team is going to contend and he's the one piece that's holding everyone back. I think they need to find out if he's a major league player or not and I don't see why they won't give him a very, very long look. Like the SS position it's not like there's someone breathing down his neck demanding ABs. You'd rather see Oswaldo Navarro? I'd rather see if CJ can figure this shit out. He better, he has a brand new 7-series BMW to pay for.

I've reached the conclusion that CJ is a AAAA player. I'd rather see Bill Hall there right now.

[Mr. Happy]

You know the shit I'm tired of?  Giving up hits on fucking 0-2 pitches.

Me too. It's the surefire sign of either hubris or lack of experience. He's shaking Q off a lot tonight too, which concerns me as I think that Q has a better idea. Bud appears to be headstrong about throwing inside, which I've got no problem with, but he's gone to that well a couple of times too often.

[Mr. Happy]

Jeebus CJ. He looks like shit and great during the same AB.

[HudsonHawk]

Why the fuck isn't Bud Norris bunting here?

[HudsonHawk]

Why the fuck isn't Bud Norris bunting here?

Nevermind.  Fox has it's head up it's collective ass.

[Mr. Happy]

Why the fuck isn't Bud Norris bunting here?

No real reason to do so.

[Limey]

Hunter probably thinks that he's had a good night after the dinger.   But he's been fucking terrible in the field as usual.  He is totally clueless.  Can we trade his spazzy ass already?!!!

[Mr. Happy]

Take the ball, Millsie.

[HudsonHawk]

No real reason to do so.

Yeah, I'm washing dishes, and catching the game between sudsing and rinsing.  Fox had CJ still at 1B.

[chuck]

I've reached the conclusion that CJ is a AAAA player. I'd rather see Bill Hall there right now.

If the answer to a question is Bill Hall then I think we are asking a bad question.

CJ may be a AAAA player, he's certainly not particularly young. I'd give him all year to find out. I don't think he's as bad as he's looked this year.

Motherfucker Pence is bad. It's not fucking funny anymore.

[Mr. Happy]

Bud's ERA's with runners on base versus with no one on is scary bad.

[Mr. Happy]

If the answer to a question is Bill Hall then I think we are asking a bad question.

CJ may be a AAAA player, he's certainly not particularly young. I'd give him all year to find out. I don't think he's as bad as he's looked this year.

Motherfucker Pence is bad. It's not fucking funny anymore.

I understand your point. However, the division is so weak that I can't imagine that they will give up this soon.

[Limey]

Bud's ERA's with runners on base versus with no one on is scary bad.

Ummm.  Isn't it easier to score with runners on base than no runners on base?   That's basically solo dingers vs. BA w\RISPS

[Mr. Happy]

Bud throws short arm in his IBB's.

[Mr. Happy]

Ummm.  Isn't it easier to score with runners on base than no runners on base?   That's basically solo dingers vs. BA w\RISPS

His BAA with runners on base was .343 coming into tonight's game. His BAA wiht no runners on is around .200. That's a big spread and suggests to me that he's either tipping his pitches out of the stretch or there is a mechanics issue out of the stretch.

[chuck]

I understand your point. However, the division is so weak that I can't imagine that they will give up this soon.

Sure, but I don't view keeping CJ over there for an extended look as giving up. I don't think replacing CJ with any of the possibilities - Downs, Hall, Sanchez, Navarro, Hernandez, would necessarily be better for the club short or long term.

[austro]

JD for the score!

Brownie: What were the Cubs originally known as?
JD: Losers?
Brownie: No.
JD: Jerk-face losers?

[Limey]

His BAA with runners on base was .343 coming into tonight's game. His BAA wiht no runners on is around .200. That's a big spread and suggests to me that he's either tipping his pitches out of the stretch or there is a mechanics issue out of the stretch.

You said ERA, not BA.  Hence my response. 

[Limey]

JD for the score!

Brownie: What were the Cubs originally known as?
JD: Losers?
Brownie: No.
JD: Jerk-face losers?

That was classic!

[Mr. Happy]

Sure, but I don't view keeping CJ over there for an extended look as giving up. I don't think replacing CJ with any of the possibilities - Downs, Hall, Sanchez, Navarro, Hernandez, would necessarily be better for the club short or long term.

I hear you. And you're probably right, which is why CJ is still here.

[HudsonHawk]

Fuck Hall.  Swing at strikes.

[austro]

MM's gotta love that 3-0 green light for Hall.

[Mr. Happy]

Why swing at the 3-0?

[Mr. Happy]

Drinkin' Dave!!!!

[Limey]

I don't understand Garcia.  He struck out Hall on three pitches of 55', and has now walked him twice all on pitches upstairs.  I'm happy, but what an idiot. 

[Mr. Happy]

JD for the score!

Brownie: What were the Cubs originally known as?
JD: Losers?
Brownie: No.
JD: Jerk-face losers?

Fucking classic!

[austro]

Why swing at the 3-0?

I don't have a problem swinging on 3-0, but I have a problem with swinging at *that* 3-0 pitch.

[HudsonHawk]

Come on Brett Wallace...be a good hitter here.

[HudsonHawk]

I don't have a problem swinging on 3-0, but I have a problem with swinging at *that* 3-0 pitch.

Exactly.

[chuck]

Why swing at the 3-0?

JD reminded us that Hall was signed to 'hit the ball out of the ballpark.'

[pots]

Joy watching Wallace

[chuck]

Come on Brett Wallace...be a good hitter here.

He *is* a good hitter, I think that much is plain. So I'm not griping. I'd just like my first baseman who is a good hitter to hit more homers than my center fielder who is 5'7".

[Mr. Happy]

Do you PH for CJ here? I do.

[pots]

He *is* a good hitter, I think that much is plain. So I'm not griping. I'd just like my first baseman who is a good hitter to hit more homers than my center fielder who is 5'7".

Sounds like a gripe

[dirty steve]

love that wallace is developing the opposite field stroke this year.

[Limey]

He *is* a good hitter, I think that much is plain. So I'm not griping. I'd just like my first baseman who is a good hitter to hit more homers than my center fielder who is 5'7".

I think the power will come with seasoning and confidence.  It won't be long before a pitch like that becomes his 1st major league granny. 

[HudsonHawk]

Sounds like a gripe

Nah...chuck's such a positive, glass half full, kind of guy.

[HudsonHawk]

He *is* a good hitter, I think that much is plain. So I'm not griping. I'd just like my first baseman who is a good hitter to hit more homers than my center fielder who is 5'7".

The power will come, I think.

[pots]

The power will come, I think.

It might, but for now he's the best hitter on the team, don't care where he plays defense. 

[dirty steve]

CJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Limey]

B...F...J...!!!

[chuck]

That'a boy, nice stroke on a poor pitch. Nice job.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Big Johnson!

[austro]

Oooh, I thought Q was going to clobber that one.

[HudsonHawk]

It might, but for now he's the best hitter on the team, don't care where he plays defense. 

He just needs to keep hitting line drives all over the yard.  He'll hit the bottom half of some, and they'll leave.

[Mr. Happy]

Shows what the fuck I know. Still, with two lefties on the bench and the bases juiced, why not use one of them?

[pots]

Shows what the fuck I know. Still, with two lefties on the bench and the bases juiced, why not use one of them?

Because the lefties are Inglett and Bogusevic?  All be it, Inglett is due...

[HudsonHawk]

Shows what the fuck I know. Still, with two lefties on the bench and the bases juiced, why not use one of them?

Ask and ye shall receive.

[pots]

Because the lefties are Inglett and Bogusevic?  All be it, Inglett is due...

And will be even more due next time

[austro]

And will be even more due next time

I don't think that's the way probability works.

[pots]

  All be it, Inglett is due...

I'm thinking no more trades with the Rays

[chuck]

Nah...chuck's such a positive, glass half full, kind of guy.

My personal theme song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkNfmwjaNic

[Limey]

Shows what the fuck I know. Still, with two lefties on the bench and the bases juiced, why not use one of them?

Inglett just grounded out with what would've been an inning-ending DP if he'd done it phing for CJ.  Sometimes, it's better to let the players play.  See Cooper, Fucking Cecil. 

[HudsonHawk]

I'm thinking no more trades with the Rays

You mean no more vindictive ass raping by Gerry Hunsicker?

[Mr. Happy]

Inglett just grounded out with what would've been an inning-ending DP if he'd done it phing for CJ.  Sometimes, it's better to let the players play.  See Cooper, Fucking Cecil. 

I hear you. Loud and clear.

[HudsonHawk]

My personal theme song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkNfmwjaNic

I was thinking more like...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qerg0LyLi6c

[pots]

You mean no more vindictive ass raping by Gerry Hunsicker?

Yes this, by the way who ended up being the future all star we gave up for Inglett?

[Mr. Happy]

Fucking dotting a guy 0-2 is just inexcusable.

[pots]

Yikes, CJ called off by Sanchez, I think my heart stopped

[Jacksonian]

He just needs to keep hitting line drives all over the yard.  He'll hit the bottom half of some, and they'll leave.

I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up being more of a Mark Grace type hitter.

[pots]

Leaving Abad in to face Holliday isn't helping restart it

[chuck]

I was thinking more like...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qerg0LyLi6c

I have an old girlfriend who'd tear up every time she heard that song no matter the performance. Must have made her think of me.

[pots]

Leaving Abad in to face Holliday isn't helping restart it

Thankfully he only walked him

[HudsonHawk]

Why is Abad in the Major Leagues?

[BudGirl]

Fans are not liking berkman anymore.

[chuck]

Why is Abad in the Major Leagues?

Mills has seen Abad enough.

[HudsonHawk]

I have an old girlfriend who'd tear up every time she heard that song no matter the performance. Must have made her think of me.

I tear up every time I think of you as well.

[austro]

Why is Abad in the Major Leagues?

Because he is left-handed and can usually throw the ball all the way to the plate.

[HudsonHawk]

Because he is left-handed and can usually throw the ball all the way to the plate.

So is Raup the Younger.  Plus he'll play for his weight in marshmallow circus peanuts.

[Mr. Happy]

Froze Freese with some corner cheese!

[Limey]

Fullbeardo with the K.  Nice!

[pots]

Nice pitch by Fulchino

[MusicMan]

MM's gotta love that 3-0 green light for Hall.

I honestly thought he ignored a take sign.

[chuck]

So is Raup the Younger.  Plus he'll play for his weight in marshmallow circus peanuts.

That reminds me, what the hell is wrong with Richmond, VA? I consider Richmond to be among the most beautiful cities in the US in terms of residential architecture.

[MusicMan]

Why is Abad in the Major Leagues?

Because Wright is our next best alternative.

[pots]

Perfect bunt

[HudsonHawk]

That reminds me, what the hell is wrong with Richmond, VA? I consider Richmond to be among the most beautiful cities in the US in terms of residential architecture.

Richmond is a very nice town.  I'm missing the joke.

[HudsonHawk]

Because Wright is our next best alternative.

So why not swap them out?  I'd take Wright over Abad, everyday and twice on Sundays.

Is Mike Gallo busy?

[austro]

So is Raup the Younger.  Plus he'll play for his weight in marshmallow circus peanuts.

Mmmmm, circus peanuts.

[Mr. Happy]

Great bunt call against a sinker baller.

[pots]

Wow Rasmus takking a page out of Pence's notepad

[drew corleone]

Spaz channeling his inner Bagwell... nice.

[austro]

Alert baserunning or just bailed out by an even dumber outfielder?

[Mr. Happy]

So why not swap them out?  I'd take Wright over Abad, everyday and twice on Sundays.

Is Mike Gallo busy?

I disagree. WW has no secondary pitch. And Abad has better velocity to boot.

[chuck]

I tear up every time I think of you as well.

And just think, you haven't even heard me sing.

[Limey]

Alert baserunning or just bailed out by an even dumber outfielder?

I go with #2. 

[OregonStrosFan]

I'm just getting to the game, so apologies if I'm 'slow' tonight... but... did I just hear Brownie say the words "good baserunning" and "Pence" in the same sentence?!?!?

[JaneDoe]

My son just yelled, "Mom, mom, the bases are loaded!" Then, "Oh, never mind." 

He saw Hall was up to bat.

[MusicMan]

Alert baserunning or just bailed out by an even dumber outfielder?

I've seen enough to know that the NL Central is a collection of bad, bad baseball teams.

[austro]

I think JD had the real reason: you send Pence regardless, because he either makes it without a play, or they cut the ball to make a play on him and that sets Bourn free.

Hall with the first pitch GIDP. What a vet!

[HudsonHawk]

You gotta be fucking shitting me Hall.  You HAVE to be FUCKING shitting me.

[MusicMan]

Fuck Bill Hall.

[chuck]

Richmond is a very nice town.  I'm missing the joke.

RTY was bitching about Richmond in his series preview which you obviously have not read. And I don't blame you. It's so full of bile and hatred that it really puts off a sensitive sort like me.

I feel exactly like that fat kid looks.

[Limey]

Hall channeling his inner-Ensberg. 

[pots]

Ugh, never thought I would miss the time Bill Hall struck out

[Mr. Happy]

Fuck Hall. One fucking pitch.

[MusicMan]

You gotta be fucking shitting me Hall.  You HAVE to be FUCKING shitting me.

DFA'ed by August. Mark it down.

[rifraft]

Ugh, never thought I would miss the time Bill Hall struck out

The real question is why isn't Bretty Wallace batting ahead of Bill Fucking Hall?

[HudsonHawk]

I think JD had the real reason: you send Pence regardless, because he either makes it without a play, or they cut the ball to make a play on him and that sets Bourn free.

Except that Bourn stopped.

[Alkie]

I've seen enough to know that the NL Central is a collection of bad, bad baseball teams.

If we win tonight, we're 3 games out.   Wow.

[austro]

The real question is why isn't Bretty Wallace batting ahead of Bill Fucking Hall?

He will be tomorrow.

[OregonStrosFan]

Ugh, never thought I would miss the time Bill Hall struck out

My thoughts were "just strike out and get it over with so we can see Wallace at the dish...".

[HudsonHawk]

If we win tonight, we're 3 games out.   Wow.

Shut the fuck up with this "we" and "win".  Goddamn I hate you.

[austro]

Except that Bourn stopped.

Yeah, but Meacham didn't know that when he was sending Pence.

[MusicMan]

If we win tonight, we're 3 games out.   Wow.

Anyone in the West buy the Padres would win 110 in this division.

[chuck]

DFA'ed by August. Mark it down.

I'll never forget hearing Wade say that he brought Barmes and Hall in to hit 15-20 homers and drive in 90 runs. Each.

[Alkie]

Shut the fuck up with this "we" and "win".  Goddamn I hate you.

It was more about how shitty the division is and really had nothing to do with us or winning.

[BudGirl]

My thoughts were "just strike out and get it over with so we can see Wallace at the dish...".

Mine too

[austro]

I'll never forget hearing Wade say that he brought Barmes and Hall in to hit 15-20 homers and drive in 90 runs. Each.

I'm thinking 15-20 RBI. Total.

[HudsonHawk]

Yeah, but Meacham didn't know that when he was sending Pence.

And if they cut the ball, Pence is out.  You normally do that because you expect the runner to try to score.  In this case he didn't, so had the outfielder not had his head up his butt, Pence is out at 2B and Bourn is still at 3B.

[drew corleone]

Bill Hall makes me long for Preston Wilson.

[Limey]

I'll never forget hearing Wade say that he brought Barmes and Hall in to hit 15-20 homers and drive in 90 runs. Each.

I'm ready to DFA Hall as soon as Barmes comes back up.  What a waste of a roster spot. 

[pots]

Yeah, but Meacham didn't know that when he was sending Pence.

Bourn's first move was back to second to avoid a double play.  No way Meacham didn't know that

[MusicMan]

And if they cut the ball, Pence is out.  You normally do that because you expect the runner to try to score.  In this case he didn't, so had the outfielder not had his head up his butt, Pence is out at 2B and Bourn is still at 3B.

Or, if you're the Brewers, both are out.

[HudsonHawk]

Or, if you're the Brewers, both are out.

With a play on the guy on deck.

[Limey]

Or, if you're the Brewers, both are out.

'Splain please.  Didn't see any games this weekend. 

[HudsonHawk]

Why the fuck are the pitching to Descalso with a base open?

[chuck]

I'm ready to DFA Hall as soon as Barmes comes back up.  What a waste of a roster spot. 

How are you going to make up the 90 runs Wade expects him to drive in?

[Alkie]

Goddammit.

[pots]

From up by 1 with the bases loaded and 1 out to a tie score and the other team has the go ahead in scoring position.  Bah

[JaneDoe]

gawd those hats are awful

[HudsonHawk]

'Splain please.  Didn't see any games this weekend. 

Almost triple play on highly dumbshit baserunning by the Brewers.

[dirty steve]

lee with the afterburners tracking down that ball in the corner.

[Alkie]

How are you going to make up the 90 runs Wade expects him to drive in?

Lance Berkman?

[MusicMan]

'Splain please.  Didn't see any games this weekend. 

The Astros - the Houston Astros, mind you - ran down a man on third and the man on first onthe same play, an nearly tripled off the batter at 1b.

[chuck]

'Splain please.  Didn't see any games this weekend. 

Wow. Impossible. The video has to be on the Astros site. Like Hudson says if the Astros had needed any more outs they could have made a play on the guy on deck.

[austro]

How are you going to make up the 90 runs Wade expects him to drive in?

Someone will drive in some non-zero fraction of the 90 guys that aren't erased by Hall GIDPs.

[HudsonHawk]

Goddammit.

Thanks a lot, you sorry-ass New York City bitch!  This is all your fucking fault.

[Mr. Happy]

This DeScalzo is the new pissant!

[Limey]

How are you going to make up the 90 runs Wade expects him to drive in?

Addition by subtraction.  It's all the rage. 

[Lurch]

Bill Hall makes me long for Preston Wilson.

NTTAWWT

[Alkie]

Thanks a lot, you sorry-ass New York City bitch!  This is all your fucking fault.

I wasn't kidding.  My post had nothing to do with fingers-crossed-holy-fucking-shit-lookee-here-boys-we're-gonna-win.  It was 100% "wow this division sucks a fat donkey cock; were the Astros to win tonight, they'd only be 3 games out."

[HudsonHawk]

They'd better fucking walk Pujols here.

[dirty steve]

hopefully rasmus uses as much brainpower on his next AB as he did on that throw from CF.

[Limey]

La Russa is a dumbass.  He should've used his butty boy last inning.  A pinch-IBB is classic Genius. 

[HudsonHawk]

I wasn't kidding.  My post had nothing to do with fingers-crossed-holy-fucking-shit-lookee-here-boys-we're-gonna-win.  It was 100% "wow this division sucks a fat donkey cock; were the Astros to win tonight, they'd only be 3 games out."

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that excuse...

[austro]

So does LaRussa leave Pujols in, or is he done for the night?

[Alkie]

If I had a nickel for every time I heard that excuse...

I was responding to MM's post about how shitty the division was.   

I wasn't even remotely commenting on the game we're currently witnessing beyond the fact that a win by the Astros and loss by the Cardinals tonight would mean the Astros would be 3 out in the NLC.   Which is pathetic.   This division is caca.

[JaneDoe]

So does LaRussa leave Pujols in, or is he done for the night?

I thought it was the other way around.

[Alkie]

And...I want to be abundantly clear that I never once tonight thought the Astros would hang on and win this game.

[austro]

Never mind: I forgot about Pujols' leg.

[Limey]

So does LaRussa leave Pujols in, or is he done for the night?

Stays in.  Lance moved to RF.

[Craig]

Revert!

[dirty steve]

i wonder if fulchino saws giant logs with a chainsaw or does ax throwing to stay loose

[pots]

Wallace needs to flip that slider into the Crawford boxes

[HudsonHawk]

i wonder if fulchino saws giant logs with a chainsaw or does ax throwing to stay loose

I wonder is he puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars.

[OregonStrosFan]

Bill Hall makes me long for Preston Wilson.

Same reason given for signing. Same results. I've thought the two interchangeable more than once this season (as well as Inglett and Jason Smith)...

[pots]

Wallace needs to flip that slider into the Crawford boxes

or just hit it up the middle

[Limey]

Wallace needs to flip that slider into the Crawford boxes

I'll take a seeing eye single into shallow RCF.  Oh hey!   Attaboy!

[Alkie]

I wonder is he puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars.

Hey man, lay off...he's ok.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

So does LaRussa leave Pujols in, or is he done for the night?

From what I understand, Pujols stays in until LaRussa...uh, I don't know enough about how gay sex works.  

[Limey]

Dear Brown Hand Center,

You are allowed to use a spokesperson who does not creep me out.

Thank you,

Limey

[HudsonHawk]

From what I understand, Pujols stays in until LaRussa...uh, I don't know enough about how gay sex works.  

Alkie!  Chuck!  we need your expertise here.

[Alkie]

Dear Brown Hand Center,

You are allowed to use a spokesperson who does not creep me out.

Thank you,

Limey

This is a massive, massive upgrade over their old campaign.

[dirty steve]

motte looked very average against the reds the other night.

[Limey]

This is a massive, massive upgrade over their old campaign.

No word on whether his jail cell has become the Brown Mouth Center. 

[chuck]

Alkie!  Chuck!  we need your expertise here.

You know goddam well that neither of us is a Republican.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

You know goddam well that neither of us is a Republican.

That only means you're not hiding it.

[Alkie]

Mother.
Fucker.

[JaneDoe]

Holy crap

[Limey]

Q dinger.  I'm calling it. 

[Mr. Happy]

No word on whether his jail cell has become the Brown Mouth Center. 

Is D.r Brown in the pokey?

[OregonStrosFan]

Out? Seriously? Give me a friggin' break...

[Limey]

Is D.r Brown in the pokey?

Last I heard. 

[Alkie]

Q dinger.  I'm calling it. 

Good call.

[Limey]

Q dinger.  I'm calling it. 

Typo.  I meant K. 

[Limey]

Umps pitched a clean inning. 

[HudsonHawk]

Mother.
Fucker.

You know, Bourgeois getting picked off there doesn't bother me.  Shit happens.  If you never get picked off or thrown out, you're not aggressive enough.  What kills me about that inning is the two Kc's immediately following. 

[chuck]

This cocksucker's strike zone seems to have expanded some that half inning.

[Mr. Happy]

Last I heard. 

Seriously? For what?

[chuck]

You know, Bourgeois getting picked off there doesn't bother me.  Shit happens.  If you never get picked off or thrown out, you're not aggressive enough.  What kills me about that inning is the two Kc's immediately following. 

It wouldn't bother me particularly, either, but I would like for him to be out to get called out.

[Alkie]

You know, Bourgeois getting picked off there doesn't bother me.  Shit happens.  If you never get picked off or thrown out, you're not aggressive enough.  What kills me about that inning is the two Kc's immediately following. 

I'll just stop posting now.   I was mother-fuckering because he was called out despite being safe.   

[Limey]

Seriously? For what?

Fell off the wagon and roughed up his wife.  Not the first time for either offense. 

[dirty steve]

why did hall cut that off?

[HudsonHawk]

I'll just stop posting now.   I was mother-fuckering because he was called out despite being safe.   

Did I say anything about you being a cocksucker?  You're too sensitive.  Quit hanging around chuck.

[Alkie]

Of course.

OF COURSE.

Lance Berkman GWRBI.

[Limey]

Well fuck me sideways. 

[HudsonHawk]

why did hall cut that off?

Because it would have stopped before it reached Sanchez.

[dirty steve]

you could have left lee in LF to take that angle.

[pots]

So 8-4 before this half inning is over?

[OregonStrosFan]

Seriously? For what?

IIR, using those Brown hands upside his wife's head...

[JaneDoe]

poetic injustice.

[Limey]

why did hall cut that off?

I strongly suspect he's a JakeFan. 

[Alkie]

Well fuck me sideways. 

Done and done.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Can we just promote Melancon to closer duty?  Please?

[HudsonHawk]

you could have left lee in LF to take that angle.

Lee would have caught that ball.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Done and done.

See, this is the insight we needed earlier.

[austro]

Can we just promote Melancon to closer duty?  Please?

Melancon is no sure thing right now, either.

[chuck]

you could have left lee in LF to take that angle.

Sadly Lee would have made that play. What I can't understand is how Holliday ended up on second rather than getting thrown out by five steps.

[pots]

Lee would have caught that ball.

Maybe, he usually plays deeper

[Limey]

Lee would have caught that ball.

JB was too short - in both senses.  I agree that Lee probably snags that because he shades that way and hangs way back.  And is tall.

[Alkie]

See, this is the insight we needed earlier.

Done and done.

[HudsonHawk]

Sadly Lee would have made that play. What I can't understand is how Holliday ended up on second rather than getting thrown out by five steps.

Dude, Richard Hidalgo retired years ago.

[dirty steve]

Lee would have caught that ball.

i guess. he's still shitty.

[HudsonHawk]

JB was too short - in both senses.  I agree that Lee probably snags that because he shades that way and hangs way back.  And is tall.

And is not a bad outfielder.

[Limey]

And is not a bad outfielder.

And he is not trying to look like Wolverine. 

[Limey]

Fuck Mike Matheny. 

[Mr. Happy]

Melancon is no sure thing right now, either.

At least he has swing and miss stuff. Lyon doesn't.

[HudsonHawk]

This has been a long fucking game for only 9 runs being scored.

[pots]

Only down one, bloop and a blast

[BudGirl]

You really expect Bourn to get a blast?

[chuck]

Dude, Richard Hidalgo retired years ago.

Really, though, it doesn't take a plus outfielder to throw a guy as slow as Holliday out at second on what was barely more than a routine single. Someone asked why Hall cut the throw. Because it was way the fuck off line is why. Hunter Pence has cost the team, what, three runs today? Four?

[MRaup]

I'd just like to reiterate, FUCK The stupid Cardinals and FUCK Lance Berkman.

And downtown Richmond is dirty, old, and looks like shit.

And I'd play for my weight in Caesar Salad croutons, but I hate fucking marshmallow circus peanuts.

FUCK Brandon Lyon while we're on the subject, too.

[dirty steve]

nice stroke by bogusevic.    the passed ball saved him from getting "picked off."

[JaneDoe]

nice.

[chuck]

And downtown Richmond is dirty, old, and looks like shit.

Seriously, did you go out to the Fan? The architecture is ridiculous out there. I could wander around that neighborhood for days.

[Limey]

This has been a long fucking game for only 9 runs being scored.

And La Russa's bench is almost empty.  Coincidence?

[MRaup]

Seriously, did you go out to the Fan? The architecture is ridiculous out there. I could wander around that neighborhood for days.

Just not after dark.

I didn't get a chance to sightsee, I was working the whole time I was there except at night. The Capital Ale House is a fantastic beer bar though. Reminded me of the Gingerman.

[chuck]

Just not after dark.

I didn't get a chance to sightsee, I was working the whole time I was there except at night. The Capital Ale House is a fantastic beer bar though. Reminded me of the Gingerman.

It's been a while since I've been there but I remember some good bars over by VCU. There's an area on the far side of downtown, too, that's pretty OK.

[pots]

Ahhhh why is Bourn on first??

[hostros7]

MB -wha happen?

[JaneDoe]

Asshole.  Boggs.  Shoulda taken his legs out from him.

[HudsonHawk]

Ahhhh why is Bourn on first??

I'm wondering that myself.  You can't have your head up your ass on that Bourn.

[austro]

Ahhhh why is Bourn on first??

My question exactly. It's not like he had to wait and see if somebody on second base was blocking him.

[MRaup]

It's been a while since I've been there but I remember some good bars over by VCU. There's an area on the far side of downtown, too, that's pretty OK.

I walked past the VCU campus headed to a convenience store Friday afternoon. The campus itself looked nice, but the neighborhood around it was awful. It smelled like Bourbon Street the day after Mardi Gras, and looked a little worse than it smelled.

[Limey]

Now he's on 2nd. 

[austro]

Odds on a Pence GIDP?

[HudsonHawk]

Now he's on 2nd. 

When he should be on 3B, if he wasn't picking daisies out there.

[HudsonHawk]

No excuse for this game not being over right now.  None.  Whatsoever.

[JaneDoe]

Odds on a Pence GIDP?

I see what you did there....

[Mr. Happy]

Come on Pence, be a player!!!

[JaneDoe]

When he should be on 3B at home plate, getting pounded on the helmet, if he wasn't picking daisies out there.

[Limey]

Not at the table, Carlos.  WTF was that first swing?

[austro]

Somehow you just knew it would come down to Hall.

[pots]

Redemption time

[HudsonHawk]

If the Astros don't win this game, it's because Michael Bourn was a total dumbshit out there when the game was on the line.

[rifraft]

Redemption time

or go down in flames time.

[Mr. Happy]

God damn Lee. You suck!!!!

[pots]

Can Hall bunt?

[hostros7]

Here comes yer dp

[chuck]

Drive in this run and Hall is forgiven.

[Limey]

If the Astros don't win this game, it's because Michael Bourn was a total dumbshit out there when the game was on the line.

Are you forgetting Sanchez' error?

[MRaup]

Somehow you just knew it would come down to Hall.

I hope my other feeling I have about it coming down to Bill Hall is wrong.

[HudsonHawk]

Are you forgetting Sanchez' error?

Nope.

[JaneDoe]

holy shit this is not golf

[austro]

Does Hall just roll some mental dice before the pitch and swing based on that?

[Limey]

The whole stadium groaned at that Hall swing. 

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Is the ump's zone as bad as GameDay makes it look?

[dirty steve]

bill hall. that ball bounced at 55 feet.

[Limey]

Is the ump's zone as bad as GameDay makes it look?

Yes.  He's gone all Picasso in the latter innings. 

[austro]

Hall is one lucky MF.

[JaneDoe]

OMG.  Hall did it!

[Limey]

FUCK

THE

JAKES

[MRaup]

Hall is one lucky MF.

You can say that again.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Now I have seen everything.

[JaneDoe]

Best thing is that Berkman is not the hero tonight.

[Mr. Happy]

Fucking BIll Hall. Lucky he didn't get rung up.

[JaneDoe]

Now I have seen everything.

And on Gameday, no less.

[pots]

Nice win

[JaneDoe]

Fucking BIll Hall. Lucky he didn't get rung up.

Yeah, that was surprising.

[MRaup]

Best thing is that Berkman is not the hero tonight.

Fuck Fat Elvis. Suck it, you traitor.

[OregonStrosFan]

Way to go Stros!

[JaneDoe]

Fuck Fat Elvis. Suck it, you traitor.

Preach it!

[pots]

Only down one, bloop and a blast

Or a hard base hit, a wild pitch, a sac bunt, an error, a wild pitch, a boneheaded baserunning play, a line drive base hit, a line drive basehit, a pop, and a roller through a drawn in infield

[austro]

Or a hard base hit, a wild pitch, a sac bunt, an error, a wild pitch, a boneheaded baserunning play, a line drive base hit, a line drive basehit, a pop, and a roller through a drawn in infield

That's just crazy talk.

[JaneDoe]

Or a hard base hit, a wild pitch, a sac bunt, an error, a wild pitch, a boneheaded baserunning play, a line drive base hit, a line drive basehit, a pop, and a roller through a drawn in infield

Where do you come up with this shit?

[OregonStrosFan]

Or a hard base hit, a wild pitch, a sac bunt, an error, a wild pitch, a boneheaded baserunning play, a line drive base hit, a line drive basehit, a pop, a check swing call on a K then and a roller through a drawn in infield

FIFY

[Aussie Astro]

Fuck Fat Elvis. Suck it, you traitor.

Australia supports the resolution!

[Alkie]

BBGs can eat the shit from my peanuts as usual.

[VirtualBob]

Bud's ERA's with runners on base versus with no one on is scary bad.

I suppose you know that this is a tautology?  Without starting with runners on base there is a limit to how fast the ERA can get bad.

[EasTexAstro]

I suppose you know that this is a tautology?  Without starting with runners on base there is a limit to how fast the ERA can get bad.

I'm pretty sure he meant BA.

[VirtualBob]

Seriously, did you go out to the Fan? The architecture is ridiculous out there. I could wander around that neighborhood for days.

But what would you do when you sobered up?

[Mr. Happy]

I suppose you know that this is a tautology?  Without starting with runners on base there is a limit to how fast the ERA can get bad.

I meant to say BAA, although I think that I made that clear in a subsequent post.

[chuck]

But what would you do when you sobered up?

Figure out that I'm in Richmond and get the hell out of there.

[MRaup]

Figure out that I'm in Richmond and get the hell out of there.

Goddamn sunny side up bastard.

[chuck]

Goddamn sunny side up bastard.

Speaking of sunny side up I have a vague recollection of going to a Waffle House on Broad Street at 4 in the morning. I'm having trouble piecing together the rest of that evening, although it was many years ago.

[Bench]

Speaking of sunny side up I have a vague recollection of going to a Waffle House on Broad Street at 4 in the morning. I'm having trouble piecing together the rest of that evening, although it was many years ago.

Did you see Boba Fett and police brutality?

[Ebby Calvin]

I have a vague recollection of going to a Waffle House on [insert street name] at [insert any time after 2am]. I'm having trouble piecing together the rest of that evening.

FIFDrunks

[94CougarGrad]

It's always fun until someone turns up with a missing poo hole.