Jeter Heals Sick, Provides Eternal Life

[Alkie]

The New York Yankees' negotiating strategy with shortstop Derek Jeter is "baffling," his agent says.

"There's a reason the Yankees themselves have stated Derek Jeter is their modern-day Babe Ruth," said Jeter's agent, Casey Close, according to the New York Daily News.

If someone, anyone said that, they were either joking, drunk, or six.

[Reuben]

The New York Yankees' negotiating strategy with shortstop Derek Jeter is "baffling," his agent says.

"There's a reason the Yankees themselves have stated Derek Jeter is their modern-day Babe Ruth," said Jeter's agent, Casey Close, according to the New York Daily News.

If someone, anyone said that, they were either joking, drunk, or six.

I thought A-Rod was their modern-day Ruth. Jeter hasn't even had a wife he could cheat on 7 days out of the week (though he and Ruth's collections of unpleasant social diseases may have been similar).