WS Game 1

[austro]

What a brain cramp by Lincecum! Luckily for him Kinsler GIDPs and there's no further damage.

[Ron Brand]

Yeek. 2-0 Rangers after 2.

[Bench]

What a brain cramp by Lincecum! Luckily for him Kinsler GIDPs and there's no further damage.

Short term memory is the first casualty.

[Ron Brand]

I wish I was in San Francisco.

[Ron Brand]

I'm glad McCarver is there to let us know when Koufax and Mathewson pitched.

[Ron Brand]

Sanchez with a clutch double to left!

[Ron Brand]

Sanchez is 2 for 2 with two doubles.

[Alkie]

I'm glad McCarver is there to let us know when Koufax and Mathewson pitched.

On Tuesday?

[Ron Brand]

Posey follows with an RBI single and it's 2-2!

[Ron Brand]

On Tuesday?

He felt the need to add that it was before divisional play began.

[Alkie]

He felt the need to add that it was before divisional play began.

Well, no, if you want to be factually correct, Buck sarcastically asked if it was before WC play and McCarver, not sure what a rhino is, answered the question and learned us all that Koufax and Mathewson did in fact play before WCs.

Somewhere, Vin Scully is spinning in his grave.

[Ron Brand]

Well, no, if you want to be factually correct, Buck sarcastically asked if it was before WC play and McCarver, not sure what a rhino is, answered the question and learned us all that Koufax and Mathewson did in fact play before WCs.

Somewhere, Vin Scully is spinning in his grave.

I thought that McCarver was trying to make the point that they'd pitched before divisional playoffs so they had fewer opportunities to pitch than someone like Lee has today, although it doesn't matter because McCarver is so heroically full of shit.

[Ron Brand]

So what are they watching in Gotham tonight?

[Bench]

Well, no, if you want to be factually correct, Buck sarcastically asked if it was before WC play and McCarver, not sure what a rhino is, answered the question and learned us all that Koufax and Mathewson did in fact play before WCs.

Somewhere, Vin Scully is spinning in his grave.

Are you watching the game?  My brother lives in NYC and is comcasted out.  He went to a bar to watch, which was also comcasted out.

[Alkie]

I thought that McCarver was trying to make the point that they'd pitched before divisional playoffs so they had fewer opportunities to pitch than someone like Lee has today, although it doesn't matter because McCarver is so heroically full of shit.

I absolutely assure you that McCarver was not making that point to inform you, the listener at home, that those fellows had fewer opponents/games per postseason.   It was entirely because, as a wise man once said, he is heroically full of shit.

Can you imagine what it must be like to be that moron's wife?

"I SEEM to have CUM in your HAIR.  If there was one thing you WISH you had DONE before having intercourse....with me....is moving the KLEENEX closer to the PILLOW.   NOW...you'll notice that the CUM has bonded with the HEADBOARD and that I'm GETTING UP to eat a SANDWICH.   I used to catch Bob Gibson."

[Ron Brand]

Being denied the World Series is un-American.

[Alkie]

Are you watching the game?  My brother lives in NYC and is comcasted out.  He went to a bar to watch, which was also comcasted out.

Comcast.   Suckers.

As is the law on the Upper West Side, we have Time Warner.   As if I had a choice.

[Bench]

Being denied the World Series is un-American.

Being denied McCarver, however, is downright merciful.

[Bench]

Comcast.   Suckers.

As is the law on the Upper West Side, we have Time Warner.   As if I had a choice.

My brother lives in Brooklyn.  You can save the commentary.

[Ron Brand]

Can you imagine what it must be like to be that moron's wife?

I can barely handle listening to him. There's no way I can imagine being married to him.

[Alkie]

My brother lives in Brooklyn.  You can save the commentary.

What commentary?   I love Brooklyn.   It has trees and good schools and yards and if you really want to come into the REAL part of NYC, you're just 15 or 16 subway stops away.

[Bench]

What commentary?   I love Brooklyn.   It has trees and good schools and yards and if you really want to come into the REAL part of NYC, you're just 15 or 16 subway stops away.

Very good schools.  Brooklyn is much more sesame street than manhattan.

[Ron Brand]

Holy shit that was some decrepit Giants. McCovey, Cepeda, Monte Irvin and Gaylord Perry looking rrrrreally old. Damn.

[Alkie]

I wasn't BRAGGING about Time Warner, I'm saying that when we moved into our Kenyan socialist building, we were told we could have Time Warner cable or we could play board games.

[Bench]

Holy shit that was some decrepit Giants. McCovey, Cepeda, Monte Irvin and Gaylord Perry looking rrrrreally old. Damn.

And Mays too ill to even show up with a wheelchair or walker.  Ouch.

[Bench]

I wasn't BRAGGING about Time Warner, I'm saying that when we moved into our Kenyan socialist building, we were told we could have Time Warner cable or we could play board games.

Brooklyn is without.  BUT THEY ARE ALL DODGERS FANS ANYWAY, right?

[Alkie]

Holy shit that was some decrepit Giants. McCovey, Cepeda, Monte Irvin and Gaylord Perry looking rrrrreally old. Damn.

When 900 you reach...

[Bench]

World Series umpires:

Bill Miller
John Hirschbeck
Mike Winters
Gary Darling
Sam Holbrook
Jeff Kellogg

Hard to argue with that. 

[Alkie]

Brooklyn is without.  BUT THEY ARE ALL DODGERS FANS ANYWAY, right?

I tell you what, I'm genuinely amazed how many timers here are still Jints fans.    I would have figured all the NYer Giant fans were dead, but there's a shitload of em all over the place today.

[Alkie]

World Series umpires:

Bill Miller
John Hirschbeck
Mike Winters
Gary Darling
Sam Holbrook
Jeff Kellogg

Hard to argue with that. 

What the hell.  I don't hate ANY of those guys. 

Re-roll.

[Bench]

I tell you what, I'm genuinely amazed how many timers here are still Jints fans.    I would have figured all the NYer Giant fans were dead, but there's a shitload of em all over the place today.

One of my best friends, born in 1975, hates both the Dodgers and Giants "because they left New York."

He's a mets fan.  Lots of problems.

[Alkie]

How much longer does FOX have the WS?

[austro]

Fucking Island of Misfit Toys:

Cody Ross goes bonkers against the Braves.
Freddy Sanchez goes 3-for-3 with 3 doubles.

[BUWebguy]

How much longer does FOX have the WS?

Through 2013.

[austro]

Somebody forgot to tell the Giants that they're not supposed to be able to score runs.

[matadorph]

And the bleeding continues....that was hilarious. Fuck Dallas, fuck the Rangers, and fuck that antler/claw/goofy-ass necklace nonsense they embrace.

Go NL.

[Alkie]

And the bleeding continues....that was hilarious. Fuck Dallas, fuck the Rangers, and fuck that antler/claw/goofy-ass necklace nonsense they embrace.

Go NL.

THANK you.  Someone talking some goddamn sense finally.

I'm so fucking tired of everyone telling me "oh, you're from HOUSTON?   You must be rooting for the Rangers!"   Yes.   That's right.   I'm always rooting for things I hate.

[austro]

I'm so fucking tired of everyone telling me "oh, you're from HOUSTON?   You must be rooting for the Rangers!"   

The only surprising thing there is that they recognize that Houston and Dallas are in the same state.

[Gizzmonic]

Fucking Island of Misfit Toys:

Cody Ross goes bonkers against the Braves.
Freddy Sanchez goes 3-for-3 with 3 doubles.

I like that expression.  Yessir.  Like it a lot.

"Whoever heard of a Cody-in-the-Box?"

[Alkie]

The only surprising thing there is that they recognize that Houston and Dallas are in the same state.

Tell me about it.

I keep trying to explain that it would be like expecting Jets fans to root for the Bills in the Super Bowl because, you know, it's NY and all.  "It's not the same thing."

Right, it's not because you're too stupid to understand that Houston and Dallas are wildly different cities in different parts of the state, with virtually nothing in common.

[Alkie]

The pitcher's duel we were all promised.

[Alkie]

Oh, thanks be to fucking god.   Pizza Hut has done away with those "confusing deals" and "math" from their menu.

It appears even I have overestimated the intelligence of the American public once again.

This country is fucked.

[Ron Brand]

Go get 'em, Jints.

[Ron Brand]

Oh, thanks be to fucking god.   Pizza Hut has done away with those "confusing deals" and "math" from their menu.

It appears even I have overestimated the intelligence of the American public once again.

This country is fucked.

Didn't work out all that well for Saturn. The country is still fucked though.

Fucked.

[Ron Brand]

The pitcher's duel we were all promised.

Maybe McCarver will update us on where Cliff Lee is now in postseason ERA.

[Alkie]

Didn't work out all that well for Saturn. The country is still fucked though.

Fucked.

How motherfucking hard could the Pizza Hut menu have possibly been?

[Alkie]

Maybe McCarver will update us on where Cliff Lee is now in postseason ERA.

That would require "confusing deals" and "math."

[Ron Brand]

How motherfucking hard could the Pizza Hut menu have possibly been?

Well, you've got the round pizza and then you've got the square one, and I think they've even got a rectangular one...

[JaneDoe]

Well, you've got the round pizza and then you've got the square one, and I think they've even got a rectangular one...

My favorite was the octagon.

[Alkie]

Well, you've got the round pizza and then you've got the square one, and I think they've even got a rectangular one...

Obama should pass a law making it easier for me to understand all these options.

[Ron Brand]

Tony Bennett. Sweet.

[Ron Brand]

He looks like he's a contemporary of Monte Irvin. He can still sing though.

[Ron Brand]

Obama should pass a law making it easier for me to understand all these options.

Pizza Hut prices...HITLER!

[Alkie]

Pizza Hut prices...HITLER!

Nazi.

[JaneDoe]

Tony Bennett. Sweet.

His voice is still so strong.  I saw him in concert a few years ago, and he was badass.

[Ron Brand]

Irvin's 91, Bennett is 84.

[Alkie]

I just went to order a pizza from Papa Johns and gave up.

6 toppings at a buck a piece?  What am I, John Einstein?  You want me to do the math and figure out how much that adds to the $11 base for this Tuscan six cheese medium half-caf double de-caf?  Not to mention taxes.   Fucking Kenyans.

[Bench]

The Mariano Girardi monster burrito lives!

[Ron Brand]

Nazi.

Why must everybody laugh at my mighty sword?

[Ron Brand]

I just went to order a pizza from Papa Johns and gave up.

6 toppings at a buck a piece?  What am I, John Einstein?  You want me to do the math and figure out how much that adds to the $11 base for this Tuscan six cheese medium half-caf double de-caf?  Not to mention taxes.   Fucking Kenyans.

You live in New York and you wanted to order from Papa John's? Were you nostalgic for shit on soggy bread?

[Bench]

You live in New York and you wanted to order from Papa John's? Were you nostalgic for shit on soggy bread?

Every time I go to The City I always hit up this local pizza spot.  Classic New York slice, but the name is hard to say.  Sbarro's.

[Ron Brand]

Fidel's hermanito is on the mound.

[Ron Brand]

Every time I go to The City I always hit up this local pizza spot.  Classic New York slice, but the name is hard to say.  Sbarro's.

Aaaaaaaaaaaagh...

[JaneDoe]

Great camera work there guys.

[Ron Brand]

I've seen some real stupidity from Kinsler in the playoffs. Like world-class stupidity.

[Bench]

Kinsler with the little league fuckup.  Great scoop by Huff.

[Ron Brand]

They're selling a Honda Odyssey by playing some mid-80s Judas Priest to some 30ish guy on his way back from 7-11? Think he's on top of the Pizza Hut pricing matrix?

[austro]

I've seen some real stupidity from Kinsler in the playoffs. Like world-class stupidity.

I missed it; what was it this time?

[Ron Brand]

I missed it; what was it this time?

Groundball wide of the bag at first drew Huff away to field it and Kinsler beat him to the bag. Then he took a turn toward second and Huff caught up with him before he could get back to first.

[austro]

Groundball wide of the bag at first drew Huff away to field it and Kinsler beat him to the bag. Then he took a turn toward second and Huff caught up with him before he could get back to first.

Yup, that qualifies as a little league fuckup.

[austro]

Groundball wide of the bag at first drew Huff away to field it and Kinsler beat him to the bag. Then he took a turn toward second and Huff caught up with him before he could get back to first.

He didn't happen to give a claw or antler sign afterward, did he?

[Ron Brand]

Yup, that qualifies as a little league fuckup.

He's pretty brutal on the basepaths.

[JaneDoe]

Groundball wide of the bag at first drew Huff away to field it and Kinsler beat him to the bag. Then he took a turn toward second and Huff caught up with him before he could get back to first.

Made me laugh out loud.  My kids know better than to do that.

[Ron Brand]

He didn't happen to give a claw or antler sign afterward, did he?

Now that would be funny.

[Ron Brand]

Made me laugh out loud.  My kids know better than to do that.

AL baseball!

[austro]

I think the Rangers are rediscovering their history.

[Ebby Calvin]

Right, it's not because you're too stupid to understand that Houston and Dallas are wildly different cities in different parts of the state, with virtually nothing in common.

Hey, we all put our Wranglers on one leg at a time.

[Ron Brand]

It made me a little sick when I read that Washington was going to put Vlad in right in the NL games. I really loved watching him play when he was younger but he has no business in the field now.

[austro]

Hey, we all put our Wranglers on one leg at a time.

Oh, great, here comes the Wranglers v. Levis debate.

[JaneDoe]

Hey, we all put our Wranglers on one leg at a time.

And in the summer, we cut'em off and wear long socks with cowboy boots, too!

[Ebby Calvin]

Oh, great, here comes the Wranglers v. Levis debate.

Has Ed Hardy released the commemorative Texas Rangers AL Champions t-shirts yet?  Those things would sell like hot cakes.

[JaneDoe]

This pitcher's duel just gets better and better...

[Ron Brand]

At what point does this constitute a 'skull-fucking'?

Claws and Antlers, baby. Claws and Antlers.

[Ron Brand]

Has Ed Hardy released the commemorative Texas Rangers AL Champions t-shirts yet?  Those things would sell like hot cakes.

Man, that's just demented. Good stuff.

[JaneDoe]

Has Ed Hardy released the commemorative Texas Rangers AL Champions t-shirts yet?  Those things would sell like hot cakes.

Bravo.

[Ron Brand]

Poor Vlad. It's a little like watching Mays in center in 1973.

[Ron Brand]

Four doubles for Sanchez tonight. He's only hit doubles in the World Series. Cool.

ETA: Aw, bullshit. They gave Vlad an E9. Boooooooooooo.

[OregonStrosFan]

That there was an 11-4 drubbing in this World Series does not surprise me.  That it was the Giants with 11 runs absolutely floors me...  Wow.

[Bench]

What's the claw and antlers thing?  It is a series of weird hand gestures?

[OregonStrosFan]

Groundball wide of the bag at first drew Huff away to field it and Kinsler beat him to the bag. Then he took a turn toward second and Huff caught up with him before he could get back to first.

Drew him off the bag?  That throw was going towards the dugout.  Incredible diving play by Huff there to make the grab.  Admittedly Kinsler screwed up, but I didn't think there was a chance in hell Huff would make that play.

[Bench]

Drew him off the bag?  That throw was going towards the dugout.  Incredible diving play by Huff there to make the grab.  Admittedly Kinsler screwed up, but I didn't think there was a chance in hell Huff would make that play.

Absolutely.  Fantastic play by Huff.

[OregonStrosFan]

What's the claw and antlers thing?  It is a series of weird hand gestures?

You obviously did not watch a single ALDS or ALCS game in which the Rangers played.  I have heard about that dumbass reach-around hand thingie ad naseum...

[Ron Brand]

What's the claw and antlers thing?  It is a series of weird hand gestures?

Yeah. One of the stupidest of those.

'Claws' are "long-distance" high fives. 'Antlers' are given for some good play as a result of speed or quickness.

[Ron Brand]

Drew him off the bag?  That throw was going towards the dugout.  Incredible diving play by Huff there to make the grab.  Admittedly Kinsler screwed up, but I didn't think there was a chance in hell Huff would make that play.

Really? I thought he had it all the way.

[OregonStrosFan]

Really? I thought he had it all the way.

Dude, you must have a contact high from watching that Rolling Stones video thingie...  Fantastic play.

[Ron Brand]

Dude, you must have a contact high from watching that Rolling Stones video thingie...  Fantastic play.

I'll have to go back and see it again...after the buzz has worn off...

[Bench]

You obviously did not watch a single ALDS or ALCS game in which the Rangers played.  I have heard about that dumbass reach-around hand thingie ad naseum...

I watched but I didn't see.

[Ron Brand]

I watched but I didn't see.

You should see the hideous t-shirts.

[Bench]

The gimp's sleeping.

Well wake his ass up!

[Ron Brand]

Here's the Official Shirt.

I can't believe someone designed this, and someone else said, "Yeah, let's make these."

[Bench]

Here's the Official Shirt.

I can't believe someone designed this, and someone else said, "Yeah, let's make these."

Wow.  And humans actually do that?

[Ron Brand]

Wow.  And humans actually do that?

Well, Ranger fans.

[Bench]

Well that wasn't torture at all. 

[Ron Brand]

Claws and Antlers, you clowns. Hahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!

[JaneDoe]

Here's the Official Shirt.

I can't believe someone designed this, and someone else said, "Yeah, let's make these."

Oh.
Deere.
Lowered.

[Ron Brand]

Oh.
Deere.
Lowered.

Yeah. And that's the Official shirt, not just some weird fan knockoff.

[MusicMan]

I absolutely assure you that McCarver was not making that point to inform you, the listener at home, that those fellows had fewer opponents/games per postseason.   It was entirely because, as a wise man once said, he is heroically full of shit.

Can you imagine what it must be like to be that moron's wife?

"I SEEM to have CUM in your HAIR.  If there was one thing you WISH you had DONE before having intercourse....with me....is moving the KLEENEX closer to the PILLOW.   NOW...you'll notice that the CUM has bonded with the HEADBOARD and that I'm GETTING UP to eat a SANDWICH.   I used to catch Bob Gibson."

Dude, I think we all appreciate the fact that this board tends to ignore all societal norms of decency, common sense, and syntax.

But can't we all get behind the idea that discussing Tim McCarver's sex life is too fucking gross to even consider??

[JaneDoe]

Dude, I think we all appreciate the fact that this board tends to ignore all societal norms of decency, common sense, and syntax.

But can't we all get behind the idea that discussing Tim McCarver's sex life is too fucking gross to even consider??

Gets my vote.

[austro]

Dude, I think we all appreciate the fact that this board tends to ignore all societal norms of decency, common sense, and syntax.

But can't we all get behind the idea that discussing Tim McCarver's sex life is too fucking gross to even consider??

Especially the part about him catching Bob Gibson. I really didn't need to know that.

[Limey]

One of my best friends, born in 1975, hates both the Dodgers and Giants "because they left New York."

He's a mets fan.  Lots of problems.

Many years of therapy.  Many, many fucking years of therapy.