Football this weekend (Oct 2-3)

[BizidyDizidy]

Huge college games this weekend - Cardinal has a chance to be a top 5 team with a win at Autzen - would have never imagined.

I'm a little concerned about all these things I'm reading that the Texans should just rest AJ since they'll roll Oakland either way.

[Alkie]

Alright, gentlemen.   There's only one thing to do.   Win the whole.   Fuckin.   Thing.

TEXAS!

[Ron Brand]

FIGHT!

[Gizzmonic]

Goddamn Time Warner in North Carolina decided to show Wisconsin vs. Michigan State instead.  WTF?  Outside of Michigan and Wisconsin, why would you ever do that?

[Lurch]

Goddamn Time Warner in North Carolina decided to show Wisconsin vs. Michigan State instead.  WTF?  Outside of Michigan and Wisconsin, why would you ever do that?

Check ESPN.  They have it in some states

[chuck]

Anyone who wears a visor who is not an overweight lesbian should be taken out and summarily shot.

[Lurch]

Fucking D needs to beat the shit out of OU today.  Keep running that weak ass shit up the middle, pussies

[Alkie]

Goddamn Time Warner in North Carolina decided to show Wisconsin vs. Michigan State instead.  WTF?  Outside of Michigan and Wisconsin, why would you ever do that?

You're in one of 4 states that doesn't get the game without ESPN3.com or GamePlan.

[Alkie]

Goddammit.

[Alkie]

If the coaches spent any part of the week preparing to not step on our own dicks, it didn't take.

[Bench]

You're in one of 4 states that doesn't get the game without ESPN3.com or GamePlan.

But the pulled pork is splendid.

[Lurch]

No excuse.

[Alkie]

I'll start writing my Joey Trum RoastPost.

[Gizzmonic]

You're in one of 4 states that doesn't get the game without ESPN3.com or GamePlan.

 I understand why they're running NC State on ABC, but what idiot program director thought Michigan State and Wisconsin would add up to better ratings in NC, or any fucking state?  I'm writing a nastygram right now. Luckily I have Slingbox so I can watch in SD, but what a goddamn indefensible decision.

[chuck]

And let the ass whipping begin. Stoops just took Mack out to the woodshed and gave him a thrashing. No answer for the quick paced offense.

[Alkie]

No excuse.

I'm not sure how, but that was even worse in slo mo replay.

[Alkie]

And let the ass whipping begin. Stoops just took Mack out to the woodshed and gave him a thrashing. No answer for the quick paced offense.

Here's what I like best.   We deferred (which I know we do often anyway) which says to me Mack and Gang were feeling pretty good about putting our D on the field first. 
 
Oh well.

Let's see what our O learned this week.

[Lurch]

I'm not sure how, but that was even worse in slo mo replay.

Too many missed gaps and missed tackles to catch in real time

[chuck]

What if Alkie's right and Gilbert actually isn't any good? We may have two more years of misery because there is no way they'll pull the rug on the anointed one.

[Alkie]

Too many missed gaps and missed tackles to catch in real time

I enjoyed the guy who just flat gave up with the Okie in his sights.

[Alkie]

What if Alkie's right and Gilbert actually isn't any good? We may have two more years of misery because there is no way they'll pull the rug on the anointed one.

I just want to say: I didn't say he wasn't any good.  I just said he wasn't good YET.   I think it's obvious he has the born-with stuff you need; he just ain't ready to lead a Top 10 team right now.

[Lurch]

Pick'em.  How will this drive end?  3 and out, fumble or pick?

[Alkie]

First play from scrimmage:

Passing sideways for a loss of 2.

You all may begin apologizing to me at any time.

[Alkie]

Second play from scrimmage:

Passing sideways for a loss of 2.

[chuck]

They actually drew up this opening drive and specifically called these plays. You know that, right?

[Lurch]

he just ain't ready to lead a Top 10 team right now.

Well,that's not really an issue here is it?

[Alkie]

As if I wrote it as a joke.

Pass sideways, loss of 2.
Pass sideways, loss of 2.
3rd and forever, pass 7 yards short of the down marker in coverage.
Punt.

[Lurch]

Three (3) yards.

[Alkie]

They actually drew up this opening drive and specifically called these plays. You know that, right?

I actually laughing hysterically.   GD is clearly doing this on purpose.

[Alkie]

Well,that's not really an issue here is it?

Not anymore, no.

[chuck]

As if I wrote it as a joke.

Pass sideways, loss of 2.
Pass sideways, loss of 2.
3rd and forever, pass 7 yards short of the down marker in coverage.
Punt.

Don't forget, they specifically scripted those first two plays. They've been working on them all week. In Greg Davis' mind they would be an outstanding way to march out and confront the OU defense. Two swing passes that put the receiver five yards behind the LOS when he receives the ball.

That shit didn't work against fucking Rice.

[Alkie]

That shit didn't work against fucking Rice.

...in 1913.

[Alkie]

Mother FUCKER.   

How is that despite having identical recruiting classes, OU manages to look faster and stronger than us?   HOW.

[chuck]

I've been saying all year that to make money you bet against the Horns and take the under. Today OU may very well take care of the 48 points all by themselves.

[Lurch]

Don't forget, they specifically scripted those first two plays. They've been working on them all week. In Greg Davis' mind they would be an outstanding way to march out and confront the OU defense. Two swing passes that put the receiver five yards behind the LOS when he receives the ball.

That shit didn't work against fucking Rice.

I think I've figured it out.  You know who that play works against?  Muschamp's D.  They probably dominate practice with it.

[Alkie]

Turns out our D is overrated too.

[Alkie]

But that's not what I came to tell you about.

I came to tell you about Joey Trum and what a douche nozzle that guy is.

[chuck]

I came to tell you about Joey Trum and what a douche nozzle that guy is.

Sure he is, and when he runs for Governor I'm going to be sure to let everyone know about his history of employing undocumented workers.

[Lurch]

FUCK YES!!!!  Fucker was flying

[Alkie]

Fuck.  Yes.

[Alkie]

Let's go, D.   Somebody wake up Hicks.

[Alkie]

I think I've figured it out.  You know who that play works against?  Muschamp's D.  They probably dominate practice with it.

Dude.  You're not even joking.

How, of ALL offensive plays, could the Horns D not be fully aware of how to stop this?

[Lurch]

I'd go for it.

[Alkie]

I'd go for it.

Against us or in general?

[Lurch]

I'd go for it.

[Lurch]

Take a shot down field.  NO ONE is expecting it.  NO ONE.

[Alkie]

Hey, only down 7 after 1 and we got the ball.

[Lurch]

Hey, only down 7 after 1 and we got the ball.

21-0 seemed very likely.

[Alkie]

Sure was a lot of air under that pass, GG.

[Alkie]

Hey, only down 7 after 1 and we got the ball.

HAD the ball.

[subnuclear]

Goddamn Time Warner in North Carolina decided to show Wisconsin vs. Michigan State instead.  WTF?  Outside of Michigan and Wisconsin, why would you ever do that?

I also get Villanova vs. W&M and Navy vs AFA.  No Texas-OU though without Game Plan. 

[Alkie]

I also get Villanova vs. W&M and Navy vs AFA.  No Texas-OU though without Game Plan. 

OOOH, Nova/Billmary.   And I have to watch the UT game.

[Alkie]

Well, hey, at least the Pads/Jints game isn't on TV.   Thanks FOX.

[Alkie]

Six.

It took SIX Horns to bring Murray down.

[Lurch]

Chykie is getting owned out there

[Alkie]

It's starting to feel like we're lucky to be down 14.

[chuck]

Chykie is getting owned out there

I have a hard time believing that there is no one on the roster who is better than he is.

Also, if you can't figure out how the fuck to get the right personnel on the field for an extra point attempt you have no fucking business coaching in Division 1 football. The special teams is as bad as the offense.

[Alkie]

They sell corn dogs at the Texas State Fair now?

[Alkie]

Raupjr is right.

Our receivers are fucking clueless.

[chuck]

They sell corn dogs at the Texas State Fair now?

I am so there.

[Alkie]

Every time GG gets batted down at the line, Chris Simms sprouts a boner.

[chuck]

Raupjr is right.

Our receivers are fucking clueless.

I've been thinking about this all year. We've been spoiled watching NFL receivers to-be for years. It's been a pretty impressive stretch, actually, marred only by the marginal guys like Kwame Cavil who was pretty good, better than anyone Texas has now my a wide margin, and also fucking stupid for leaving after his junior year. Anyway, yeah, no NFL receivers this year and it shows.

Also, Gilbert takes way too long to get the ball out.

[Lurch]

There it is... the quick slant.  We need some more of that

[Alkie]

There it is... the quick slant.  We need some more of that

But...we just used it. 

Save it for next week.   When we're off.

[Bench]

I've been thinking about this all year. We've been spoiled watching NFL receivers to-be for years. It's been a pretty impressive stretch, actually, marred only by the marginal guys like Kwame Cavil who was pretty good, better than anyone Texas has now my a wide margin, and also fucking stupid for leaving after his junior year. Anyway, yeah, no NFL receivers this year and it shows.

Also, Gilbert takes way too long to get the ball out.

And yet UT fans will still bitch about the Texans not drafting any Longhorns.

[Bench]

I think Daddy Gilbert is equally disgusted with the play calling.

[Alkie]

Not a joke:  I honestly don't think GD understands how a set of downs works.   

3rd and long, I guarantee a pass, too short for a 1st down, into coverage.   Every.   Fuckin.   Time.

[Bench]

31 seconds left, no timeouts, on your own 20:  7 yard run followed by a spike.  Now THAT'S thinking out of the box.

[Ron Brand]

31 seconds left, no timeouts, on your own 20:  7 yard run followed by a spike.  Now THAT'S thinking out of the box.

Hell, Gilbert had to remind everyone that the clock was running.

[Alkie]

Hell, Gilbert had to remind everyone that the clock was running.

Coach thinks we're winning. 

Explains most of this.

[Ron Brand]

Coach thinks we're winning. 

Explains most of this.

I hate to say it, but all that shit dropping around us can only mean one thing. The sky is falling.

[chuck]

Meanwhile the mighty juggernaut that is the Washington State offense has scored more points against UCLA at the half (and on the road) than UT did all game.

[Ron Brand]

Meanwhile the mighty juggernaut that is the Washington State offense has scored more points against UCLA at the half (and on the road) than UT did all game.

Yeah, but everybody gets up for UT. UCLA was bound to have a letdown after making that game in Austin their whole season's focus.

[BizidyDizidy]

Is that serious or sarcastic? I'm pretty sure ucla didn't see texas as the biggest game of their season.

[Ron Brand]

Is that serious or sarcastic? I'm pretty sure ucla didn't see texas as the biggest game of their season.

Very sarcastic. Very.

[chuck]

Very sarcastic. Very.

I was afraid you were losing your mind there for a second.

[Ron Brand]

I was afraid you were losing your mind there for a second.

Damn aneurysm.

[chuck]

I don't think we're going to get this.

[chuck]

Shows what I know.

[JaneDoe]

I don't think we're going to get this.

I see what you did there.

[Ron Brand]

Shows what I know.

It ain't over yet. The challenge ought to prove you right.

[Ron Brand]

I guess my Earl Campbell Underoos are working.

[Alkie]

Hells yes.

[Ron Brand]

So who's foot had to be in who's ass to take the training wheels off of Gilbert?

[Lurch]

So, we do have that in the playbook?

[JaneDoe]

I guess my Earl Campbell Underoos are working.

Go Colombia Blue!

[JaneDoe]

Gilbert just made the UT gymnastics team.

[Alkie]

Raise your hand if you thought we'd get more than 3 here.

[Alkie]

So, we do have that in the playbook?

Nosir.

Happy accident.

[Ron Brand]

Raise your hand if you thought we'd get more than 3 here.

I expected a fumble.

[Alkie]

I expected a fumble.

Let's not shit our pants just yet. Yes, there are a lot of problems and a lot of work to do, and maybe this will be a down year but let it play out. Don't go all batshit crazy over one game.

[Ron Brand]

Let's not shit our pants just yet. Yes, there are a lot of problems and a lot of work to do, and maybe this will be a down year but let it play out. Don't go all batshit crazy over one game.

I'm not going to have an aneurysm over it.

Ow.

[BizidyDizidy]

Good chance to get back on track vs nebraska next week

[Alkie]

Good chance to get back on track vs nebraska next week

$10,000?

[BizidyDizidy]

These announcers are idiots

[BizidyDizidy]

"They ruled it incomplete"

[Lurch]

Stanford Oregon should be a fantastic game.  How your boys going to do Biz?

[BizidyDizidy]

Nervous as hell, but harbaugh has been good in big games. Luck needs to play better than he has the last couple of weeks. Spped vs. Power, should be fun. I'm just happy stanford football is relevant.

[Alkie]

Not a joke:  I honestly don't think GD understands how a set of downs works.   

3rd and long, I guarantee a pass, too short for a 1st down, into coverage.   Every.   Fuckin.   Time.

Quote.

[Alkie]

1-3  Wazzoo     28
Daddy UCLA     20

[BizidyDizidy]

Wazzu is beating ucla 28-20; unbelievable. According to sagarin, washington state is the 114th ranked team, behind the like of cal poly san luis obispo.

[Alkie]

This is frustrating as hell.

We could easily win this fucking game.   We ain't gonna.   But we coulda.

[Lurch]

Wazzu is beating ucla 28-20; unbelievable. According to sagarin, washington state is the 114th ranked team, behind the like of cal poly san luis obispo.

Texas loosened the jar lid, though

[Ron Brand]

This is frustrating as hell.

We could easily win this fucking game.   We ain't gonna.   But we coulda.

Kinda like that last game last year. Or the one last week.

[Alkie]

Volatility is usually caused by poor management.

[Alkie]

Blind Squirrel Finds Acorn

[Alkie]

We fucking suck.

[BizidyDizidy]

Is anyone ever open?

[Ron Brand]

Is anyone ever open?

Not this year.

[BizidyDizidy]

Need to pick up the pace here - have to pick up my parents from the fair ground clusterfuck and get back before our game starts

[Lurch]

SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!

[Ron Brand]

SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!

It's tough to blame stupid on coaching.

[chuck]

We can make fun of GD all we want (and he certainly called a terrible first half) but self-inflicted wounds have killed this team.

[JaneDoe]

if I hear boomersooner one more time.....................

[BizidyDizidy]

Its not like they get to pick the players.

[Alkie]

It's tough to blame stupid on coaching.

So what's the cut off for calling this an asswhooping?

I mean, we clearly got it handed to us today.   They're a better team, a better coached team, a more talented team that had us beat by double digits all game.   I thought we'd lose by 28 but this feels about the same.

[Ron Brand]

Its not like they get to pick the players.

You can't get more highly regarded than Jackson Jeffcoat, and he's responsible for that touchdown from that stupid penalty.

[T. J.]

Don't look now, but the other UT is up by 4 on LSU an driving late in the 4th.

[BizidyDizidy]

I was just joking - we were in the hunt for jeffcoat (he visited at least) and we wouldve killed to have gotten him.

[Alkie]

You can't get more highly regarded than Jackson Jeffcoat, and he's responsible for that touchdown from that stupid penalty.

No question.   But poor coaching is the reason that TD just effectively ended the game.

[Ron Brand]

So what's the cut off for calling this an asswhooping?

I mean, we clearly got it handed to us today.   They're a better team, a better coached team, a more talented team that had us beat by double digits all game.   I thought we'd lose by 28 but this feels about the same.

In this game, a 14 pt spread is typically an 'asswhooping.'

[Alkie]

Don't look now, but the other UT is up by 4 on LSU an driving late in the 4th.

Tulsa isn't playing LSU.

[BizidyDizidy]

Oregon just manhandled tenn, which is scary

[Alkie]

In this game, a 14 pt spread is typically an 'asswhooping.'

Quit being a pussy. Texas wins by a hundred tomorrow, give or take a safety. - Jack Astro

I could see UT staying close -- or maybe even winning -- tomorrow - austro

OU will stomp the living shit out of UT tomorrow.   I hope I'm terribly wrong.  You're wrong. - MusicMan

I'm not a big gambler and suck at roasting posts, but it isn't going to be OU by 28. - Ron Brand

it won't be the beating that everyone expects.  - Joey Trum

[BizidyDizidy]

No one likes a gloater.

[Alkie]

Oregon just manhandled tenn, which is scary

Oregon is very, very good.   I'm really looking forward to tonight's game.   Should be a heavyweight fight.

[Alkie]

No one likes a gloater.

That was, in fact, the deal.   

[BizidyDizidy]

Here's the only prediction I'll make about tonight - take the under. I don't think it will be the shootout everyone expects.

[Alkie]

Anyone happen to know the BigXII bowl order for this season?

[BizidyDizidy]

Fiesta, cotton, alamo, then crap

[Alkie]

MORE OF THAT please.

[BizidyDizidy]

Alamo gets the pac 10 2 now.

[Alkie]

Fiesta, cotton, alamo, then crap

No more Holiday?

[Alkie]

No one likes a gloater.

And the only reason I posted it was to jinx myself.

Workin' already.

MORE SCORING PLEASE.

[BizidyDizidy]

Still there but below alamo and insight apparently. I know pac 10 downgraded holiday to third.

[Ron Brand]

Nice answering TD.

[BizidyDizidy]

This isn't helping me get back in time (nevermind trying to coordinate the prime rib in the oven)

[chuck]

Anyone happen to know the BigXII bowl order for this season?

I feel fairly certain that the Horns will be playing in the Texas Bowl. So keep your calendar open on December 29.

[Alkie]

I feel fairly certain that the Horns will be playing in the Texas Bowl. So keep your calendar open on December 29.

Cool.   We haven't lost to Navy in a long damn time.

[Ron Brand]

Cool.   We haven't lost to Navy in a long damn time.

Fuck Navy. Bring that tired Staubach shit in here anytime.

[chuck]

I'm guessing Penn State. Against whom the Horns' recent history is less than distinguished.

[chuck]

Man, that was fucking stupid.

[Alkie]

holyshitholyshitholyshit.

SCORE, BITCHES!

[Lurch]

Fuck you, GD.

[Alkie]

Inept.

[Ron Brand]

Mmmm. Savor the wasted opportunities.

[Alkie]

If you think we fucked up today, wait till you see how LSU just lost.

Uh.   Nevermind.

[T. J.]

Oh my God. Switch to lsu/tenn to see the latest clusterfuck by les miles.

[T. J.]

Holeeshit. 12 men on the field for Tenn. 1 more play.

[chuck]

Fuck you, GD.

It's awesome. It's like he and Stoops are working together. When OU blitzes there's no outlet. When they don't blitz Texas runs that goddam swing pass for a loss.

[Alkie]

It's awesome. It's like he and Stoops are working together. When OU blitzes there's no outlet. When they don't blitz Texas runs that goddam swing pass for a loss.

It is EERILY as if GD and Stoops are working together.   Eerily.

[Alkie]

Holeeshit. 12 men on the field for Tenn. 1 more play.

Les Miles -- It's Better To Be Lucky Than Incredibly Fucking Stupid and Unlucky

[Alkie]

Alright, so somehow, we ALL lost today.

Horns lose outright.   Horns didn't get "stomped" per the score, but also clearly were not prepared for this game, still got woefully outcoached, and sure as fuck didn't "bounce back."   

No one wins the bet.   No one wins the game.  Unless you're an Okie, in which case, you lost before the game even started.

[Lurch]

That was pretty.

[Alkie]

WHERE THE FUCK HAS THAT BEEN ALL GODDAMN GAME?!?!?!?!?  AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH.

[Lurch]

slant slant slant slant slant

[chuck]

slant slant slant slant slant

Say, I have an idea. Why not throw it to someone who is IN THE FUCKING ENDZONE?

[Alkie]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

FUCK.   YOOOOU.

[Lurch]

Say, I have an idea. Why not throw it to someone who is IN THE FUCKING ENDZONE?

Know what theyd never expect?  Throwing it backwards.  Who would do that?  right?

[Alkie]

Alright.

One long possession game.

Watch us not on-side kick.

[Ron Brand]

Say, I have an idea. Why not throw it to someone who is IN THE FUCKING ENDZONE?

They'd have to be running different routes, because those guys are covered.

If GG sees the guy in the left earlier, it's a TD.

[Alkie]

Know what theyd never expect?  Throwing it backwards.  Who would do that?  right?

This guy.   

[Alkie]

I know there's only a 22% chance here, but we'll fuck it up.

[BizidyDizidy]

Wow

[Alkie]

Even I couldn't have imagined that. 

Someone owes me a refund.

[Lurch]

Standing O.  Most amazing stupidity I've ever seen.  Fanfuckingtastic.

[Alkie]

Chuck, I'm putting this ahead of fair catching on the 3 as the dumbest motherfucking thing you've seen in a football game.

[Ron Brand]

You'd like to be able to understand that, but I defy you to.

[Alkie]

You'd like to be able to understand that, but I defy you to.

It's only funny because when I first posted "we'll fuck this up" I really was thinking more along the lines of touching it before it goes 10 yards or a penalty that negates our own recovery.

I couldn't have possibly dreamed we'd try something that has a 22% chance of success and turn it in to something with a 1% chance of success.   

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBLEGETHEBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Alkie]

My brain.  Just.   Exploded.

[Lurch]

Mother.  fuck.

[chuck]

Well, there you have it. One last helping of pathetic.

[austro]

I have to say, this is the sorriest fucking excuse for a major-college team I've seen in a while.

[Ron Brand]

I lied about the aneurysm.

[Alkie]

Well, there you have it. One last helping of pathetic.

You know that pairs nicely with a glass of fine Slapdickery.

[OregonStrosFan]

pitiful

[Alkie]

Worst 8 pt loss in school history?

[Alkie]

It's embarrassing because I have a degree from the University of Texas and it's clear that there are no standards of intelligence for admission; either as a student or faculty member.

[chuck]

They're going to be embarrassed in Lincoln, that's a foregone conclusion. But I can also see Texas losing to Baylor, Oklahoma State and even A&M.

[Alkie]

They're going to be embarrassed in Lincoln, that's a foregone conclusion. But I can also see Texas losing to Baylor, Oklahoma State and even A&M.

Oh, NOW they believe.

When I said it before the UCLA game, I was batshit.   

This is starting to feel like 1997.

[Ron Brand]

I really feel sorry for Aaron Williams. That kid might end up as a great corner in the NFL, but he will always be the guy that dropped the punt in the OU game.

[Ron Brand]

Oh, NOW they believe.

When I said it before the UCLA game, I was batshit.   

This is starting to feel like 1997.

Nah, you're still batshit. Don't let something like this get in your way.

[Alkie]

Nah, you're still batshit. Don't let something like this get in your way.

I am, but not about this team.

I said this team would be 3-3 leaving Lincoln and, barring the most outrageous fuck up ever by NU, that's exactly what will happen.

This team just has way, way too many holes to salvage this one.    Git'em next year.

[Alkie]

UCLA came back and won.  You feel better now, hippie?

Also, when's the last time we weren't ranked?

[austro]

I am, but not about this team.

I said this team would be 3-3 leaving Lincoln and, barring the most outrageous fuck up ever by NU, that's exactly what will happen.

This team just has way, way too many holes to salvage this one.    Git'em next year.

The biggest risk with playing like this is that potential recruits look at it and say, nah, I think I'll go with Stoops (or Pelini or Saban or Meyer [or even Patterson]). If that starts to happen, reversing it is difficult.

[Lurch]

UCLA came back and won.  You feel better now, hippie?

Also, when's the last time we weren't ranked?

162 weeks ago

[Alkie]

162 weeks ago

Football weeks or Earth weeks?

[Alkie]

Wow.   Since the NC State loss.   I was there.   That feels like a million years ago.

[Lurch]

Football weeks or Earth weeks?

Poll weeks I suppose... so something like 10 years?

[Lurch]

Holy shit what a catch by Stanford WR

[Alkie]

Hey, guess who's pretty fucking good.

[remy]

But I can also see Texas losing to Baylor, Oklahoma State and even A&M.

Much as I'd love to see it, I can't imagine Baylor coming to Austin and winning.  They'll fuck it up somehow, they always do.

[Lurch]

Here's the only prediction I'll make about tonight - take the under. I don't think it will be the shootout everyone expects.

Yep.

[BizidyDizidy]

One pace for 120 points - hope you took the over

[Lurch]

Untouched

Onside kick here.  You'd be king for life

[BizidyDizidy]

Offense looks ok

[Alkie]

Good.   I hope Stanford wins the whole thing.

[JaneDoe]

Good.   I hope Stanford wins the whole thing.

oh, come on, everyone knows Boise St. has the inside track.

[BizidyDizidy]

You can all have a refund on my prediction

[Alkie]

oh, come on, everyone knows Boise St. has the inside track.

I said hope.   If I had known what dogshit VaTech was, I wouldn't have been nearly as impressed with Boise.

If Ohio State or Alabama win the whole thing, I'll be so bored I'll vomit.

[Alkie]

You can all have a refund on my prediction

Hey, guess who I'm not taking with me to Vegas.

[Lurch]

A punt!

[BizidyDizidy]

Back to back punts!

[Lurch]

The always classy "their coach and the ref are friends" interview

[Alkie]

The always classy "their coach and the ref are friends" interview

Don't have the sound on, what happened?

[Lurch]

Don't have the sound on, what happened?

Oregon coach telling Erin Andrews that the refs are friends with Harbaugh and wont talk to him

[Alkie]

Oregon coach telling Erin Andrews that the refs are friends with Harbaugh and wont talk to him

It turns out Oregon is run by some really classy people from top to bottom.

[Lurch]

Iowa St 52 38 over TTech

[Lurch]

he got knocked out

[chuck]

Iowa St 52 38 over TTech

Hell, Texas could very well lose to Iowa State and Kansas State, too, now that I think about it.

[chuck]

Why wouldn't they roll him out there and give him a chance to use his legs?

[BizidyDizidy]

Well crap

[Alkie]

Well crap

How the fuck did Stanford lose worse than Texas today?

[Taras Bulba]

Back from the UT-OU game.  No pithy analysis other than Lower McKinney on Friday night and in and around the Cotton Bowl today featured the greatest assemblage of female talent this side of Caligula's guest cottage.

[chuck]

How the fuck did Stanford lose worse than Texas today?

Sort of a puzzler knowing that they'd beat Texas by 35 points.

Damn, I really wanted Stanford to win. Even if the affectation around their mascot name does irritate me.

[Alkie]

Sort of a puzzler knowing that they'd beat Texas by 35 points.

And how.

Damn, I really wanted Stanford to win. Even if the affectation around their mascot name does irritate me.

And how.

[BizidyDizidy]

I think (hope?) that Oregon is just really good. Nonetheless, and despite the final score, we had a good chance to beat these guys. Oh well - get SC next week.

[ybbodeus]

Tulsa isn't playing LSU.

Despite their being "The University of Tulsa", you do realize that their working acronym is what the Aggies call your Horns, TU, don't you?  For applicable rebuttals going forward, "Temple University" would be more servicable.

[Lurch]

Andre is out.  Fuck.

[chuck]

Andre is out.  Fuck.

When you figure out where the hell Arian Foster is please let me know.

[Lurch]

Hell.  Yes.

[chuck]

Apparently we don't fucking need him.

[Gizzmonic]

Another brilliant challenge!

[austro]

Another brilliant challenge!

No shit. What was he thinking? That was never going to be overturned.

[austro]

So, what's the deal with Foster?

[chuck]

So, what's the deal with Foster?

"Coach's decision." He fucked up and missed a meeting or broke curfew or something equally stupid. From what I gather that's why he didn't get on the field most of the year last season.

[Lurch]

From unknown twitter source: RB Arian Foster inactive from ankle injury suffered in pregame warmups.

[austro]

From unknown twitter source: RB Arian Foster inactive from ankle injury suffered in pregame warmups.

Well, that's going to do some damage to my fantasy team, especially since Brees underwhelmed again.

[chuck]

OK, we're in business.

[Gizzmonic]

No shit. What was he thinking? That was never going to be overturned.

I like Gary Kubiak, but it seems like he always challenges based on the result of the play vs. whether it will actually be overturned or not.

[chuck]

I've had enough of this fucking field. What a joke of an organization, all the way down to the grass they play on.

[chuck]

Wow, where the hell did Rackers get this leg?

[Lurch]

I've had enough of this fucking field. What a joke of an organization, all the way down to the grass they play on.

Look how low the attendance is... unreal in the NFL in 2010

[chuck]

Look how low the attendance is... unreal in the NFL in 2010

Incredible. There were something like six blackouts across the league this year. These stupid motherfuckers will get what they deserve if they lock out the players after this year.

[austro]

Look how low the attendance is... unreal in the NFL in 2010

I'm surprised that the league doesn't have something akin to eminent domain for taking over obviously-fucked-up franchises.

[Gizzmonic]

Nice tackle by McManus.

[Lurch]

Foster's ankle looks fine... so, he was punished for 1 1/2 qtrs?

[chuck]

You fucking idiot. Catch the fucking ball.

[chuck]

The Texans are going to fuck around and lose to this disaster of a team.

[Savage]

This team is regressing.  They've looked shittier every week.

[austro]

2nd and 14? Check.
Jacoby Jone runs 16-yard pattern, has the ball delivered in his hands and drops it? Check.
3rd and 14? Check.
Run an 8-yard pattern? Check.

Did these guys all fail basic arithmetic?

[austro]

I've had enough of this fucking field.

This field looks ridiculous. They might have better footing if they simply left the dirt infield in place.

[Lurch]

Should have punted.

[Gizzmonic]

Welcome back Arian.  We missed you.

[Gizzmonic]

Jacoby Jones is hurt too?

That's not good news.

[Savage]

In Karma is a bitch news, Michael Vick is out.

[T. J.]

Slide Gradkowski. I really don't want to see your head fly off the nex time Pollard hits you.

[austro]

Jacoby Jones is hurt too?

That's not good news.

Yeah, who will drop the ball now? Jacoby Jones is the most unreliable player on this team.

[Gizzmonic]

Yeah, who will drop the ball now? Jacoby Jones is the most unreliable player on this team.

Yeah, but they're running out of warm bodies at WR.  He's a good kick returner too.

[Lurch]

He's a good kick returner too.

HHIFY

[Gizzmonic]

Rack 'em!

[chuck]

That was a pretty play, very nice pass.

[Lurch]

Well, that's going to do some damage to my fantasy team, especially since Brees underwhelmed again.

So much for that...

[austro]

So much for that...

Yes, I'm breathing a little easier now.

[T. J.]

I realize this is a football thread, but if you're interested, Pads/Giants is being shown on the MLB network. Giants still up 2-0 in the 7th.

[Lurch]

I realize this is a football thread, but if you're interested, Pads/Giants is being shown on the MLB network. Giants still up 2-0 in the 7th.

I'm unable to watch baseball once the Astros are done.

[austro]

I'm unable to watch baseball once the Astros are done.

Not even when it involves the Yankees losing?

[chuck]

RUN THE FUCKING FOOTBALL YOU SLAPDICKS.

[HudsonHawk]

RUN THE FUCKING FOOTBALL YOU SLAPDICKS.

[kubiak]huh?[/kubiak]

[HudsonHawk]

Kubiak's dick isn't in enough pain, apparently. Gotta stomp it some more.

[MRaup]

RUN THE FUCKING FOOTBALL YOU SLAPDICKS.

The word slapdick makes me laugh every time I read it.

Heh heh heh.

[chuck]

If they run that fucking play-action rollout on this drive I am going to lose my shit.

[chuck]

I can't imagine a worse place to see an NFL game.

[Lurch]

"eat this game alive"

[chuck]

Finally, some sensible play calling. Keep it up you idiot.

[chuck]

I don't understand Ward over Foster there on third down.

[HudsonHawk]

I don't understand Ward over Foster there on third down.

You don't understand a Kubiak call?  Really?

[austro]

There is holding/interference/illegal contact on every single passing play in the NFL. It's pretty annoying when they decide to call it on 3rd down in the closing minutes.

[Gizzmonic]

Well, that was ugly.  Looks like they'll come away with a "W", though...

Also, Concord grapes are delicious.

[HudsonHawk]

Well, that was ugly.  Looks like they'll come away with a "W", though...

Also, Concord grapes are delicious.

A win is a win. And with an Indy loss, Texans back leading the division.

[chuck]

Just win, baby. Three and one, first place.

[BizidyDizidy]

Especially on the road

[austro]

3-1 without Cushing. I think we all would have taken that very happily before the season started.

[Rebel Jew]

Look how low the attendance is... unreal in the NFL in 2010

I was there.  40% full maybe. me & my friend were able to sneak down from mt. davis all the way to the black hole.  still, aquarian foster = awesome from any seats

[Gizzmonic]

And...more butt ugly football courtesy of the NFC East. 

[Lurch]

Son of a bitch.  All Cutler needed to do for me was keep pace with Steve Smith (1 pt in the first half).  Instead, he's -3 and didnt come out from the locker room for the second half.

[austro]

Son of a bitch.  All Cutler needed to do for me was keep pace with Steve Smith (1 pt in the first half).  Instead, he's -3 and didnt come out from the locker room for the second half.

It's a strange year.

[Guinness]

I can't imagine a worse place to see an NFL game.

Oakland? I went to an A's game there a few years ago.  It's a dump.  Great food and a Jameson pub, tho.  I swear we sat next to Big Jim McBob and Billy Sol Hurok....

[Rebel Jew]

Son of a bitch.  All Cutler needed to do for me was keep pace with Steve Smith (1 pt in the first half).  Instead, he's -3 and didnt come out from the locker room for the second half.

holy crap!  just looked it up and it's ME who benefited from this bs.  9 sacks!!!  unreal.

[Gizzmonic]

Son of a bitch.  All Cutler needed to do for me was keep pace with Steve Smith (1 pt in the first half).  Instead, he's -3 and didnt come out from the locker room for the second half.

I'm dropping to 1-3 in my league.  I really need to pick up a QB who isn't in the NFC East.

[chuck]

I'm almost certain to lose to some fucking team who didn't even bother to start a TE. Get a load of the performance of six of my starters:

Larry Fitzgerald: 3.73
Jacoby Jones: 0.80
Darren Sproles: -0.87
C.J. Spiller: 1.00
Tony Gonzalez: 2.73
Johnny Knox: 1.73

Fucking pathetic. I am the worst owner in the history of fantasy football.

[Gizzmonic]

This was my first year, and I drafted completely according to some website that my father-in-law showed me.  I ended up with many of the same starters as you, chuck.  I'm behind by 30 points. Adrian Peterson's bye week screwed me.

 

I'm almost certain to lose to some fucking team who didn't even bother to start a TE. Get a load of the performance of six of my starters:

Larry Fitzgerald: 3.73
Jacoby Jones: 0.80
Darren Sproles: -0.87
C.J. Spiller: 1.00
Tony Gonzalez: 2.73
Johnny Knox: 1.73

Fucking pathetic. I am the worst owner in the history of fantasy football.

[Rebel Jew]

TRUE STORY FOR HUDSON HAWK:

So me & my Houston friend are wandering through various tailgates before the Raider game today.  At one spot we see a whole bunch of people wearing Texan jerseys, at least 2 of whom are wearing Cushing jerseys, so we go talk to them.  One guy is wearing a David Carr jersey and so I start giving him some shit about still wearing that jersey after all these years.  He ignores me in kind-of a weird way, and so I feel bad for a second because I hope he didn't think I was being an asshole to him.  I explain loudly to one of his buddies who's wearing a Cushing jersey that it was hard living through the David Carr years, that it's kind-of a symbol of how hard it is to be a Houston sports fan.  The buddy tells me that they're not from Houston and have never lived there, that they drove up from Fresno and Modesto, that they're not even completely Texans fans.  I ask why they're wearing Texans jerseys to a Raider game if they're not Texan fans.  He goes on to tell me that they're DAVID CARR FANS, and became Texan fans after the Texans drafted Carr.  My friend reminds them that Carr is on the 49ers now, which is a more convenient team to root for geographically, but the Cushing guy reiterates that they became Texan fans when Carr got drafted and have remained Texan fans ever since.

ETA:
Oh, and I did ask if they knew David Carr or his family and they said the didn't.  They're just big fans.

[chuck]

TRUE STORY FOR HUDSON HAWK

I certainly hope you got their contact information so HH can invite them to his tailgate.

[HudsonHawk]

I certainly hope you got their contact information so HH can invite them to his tailgate.

I'm just wondering why you think that story in any way relates to me.

[Waldo]

I am the worst owner in the history of fantasy football.

I might have something to say about that.

[BizidyDizidy]

After watching that game last night and seeing our protection without Duane Brown, I would be a little worried if I were Matt Schaub.

[MikeyBoy]

After watching that game last night and seeing our protection without Duane Brown, I would be a little worried if I were Matt Schaub.

I don't think the Texans' pass protection has been that bad. The majority of the sacks this season have been more a product of Schaub holding on to the ball too long. Yesterday, he had to get rid of the ball often to avoid sacks, but that was mainly due to the receivers inability to seperate from the Raiders DBs, but overall I thought the line did fine.

[Astroholic]

After watching that game last night and seeing our protection without Duane Brown, I would be a little worried if I were Matt Schaub.

If you saw something in the Raiders game that calls the offensive line into question, well you don't know a hell of a lot about line play.

[BizidyDizidy]

I was thinking more of the dallas game.

[Astroholic]

I was thinking more of the dallas game.

Okay, then I can agree somewhat with that, though many of those 'sacks' were on the qb.

[Limey]

Okay, then I can agree somewhat with that, though many of those 'sacks' were on the qb.

Buck / Aikman were calling those coverage sacks in the Dallas game, and there was element of that this week too.  With AJ hobbled (Dallas) and  missing (Raiders), there's some sense to that.  The Texans need to work on getting Schaub more / better options.

Foster announcing his receiving presence with authority was a nice bonus.  Anyone know why he was kept out of the first half*?

* It made be laugh when, at the start of the 2nd half, the CBS booth compared 1st half rushing stats between Houston and Oakland, and commented that Foster had been shut down as he had only 5 yards.  Yeah, he had.  By Kubiak you retards.

[Astroholic]

Buck / Aikman were calling those coverage sacks in the Dallas game, and there was element of that this week too.  With AJ hobbled (Dallas) and  missing (Raiders), there's some sense to that.  The Texans need to work on getting Schaub more / better options.

Foster announcing his receiving presence with authority was a nice bonus.  Anyone know why he was kept out of the first half*?

* It made be laugh when, at the start of the 2nd half, the CBS booth compared 1st half rushing stats between Houston and Oakland, and commented that Foster had been shut down as he had only 5 yards.  Yeah, he had.  By Kubiak you retards.

He missed 1 team meeting and was late to another.

[Rebel Jew]

Buck / Aikman were calling those coverage sacks in the Dallas game, and there was element of that this week too.  With AJ hobbled (Dallas) and  missing (Raiders), there's some sense to that.  The Texans need to work on getting Schaub more / better options.

Foster announcing his receiving presence with authority was a nice bonus.  Anyone know why he was kept out of the first half*?

* It made be laugh when, at the start of the 2nd half, the CBS booth compared 1st half rushing stats between Houston and Oakland, and commented that Foster had been shut down as he had only 5 yards.  Yeah, he had.  By Kubiak you retards.

I think the concept of a coverage sack is mostly announcer BS.  It's almost always either a zone blitz or a slower developing play.

[Astroholic]

I think the concept of a coverage sack is mostly announcer BS.  It's almost always either a zone blitz or a slower developing play.

No there are coverage sacks.  Depends on how long the qb holds the ball.  I guess you could call them indecision sacks, but it is still on QB.  Matt threw the ball away several times Sunday because his guys were covered (Raiders have the best cover corner in football IMO).  He did not do that when playing Dallas.

[geezerdonk]

He missed 1 team meeting and was late to another.

If Kubiak weren't a moron, no one would be late for a team meeting.

[MusicMan]

If Kubiak weren't a moron, no one would be late for a team meeting.

I don't care what anyone thinks about Kubiak... you can't tell me you'd rather have Andy Reid, Jim Caldwell, Les Miles, Derek Dooley, Bob Stoops, Greg Davis...

I mean, the amount of dick-stepping this weekend was amazing.

[Rebel Jew]

No there are coverage sacks.  Depends on how long the qb holds the ball.  I guess you could call them indecision sacks, but it is still on QB.  Matt threw the ball away several times Sunday because his guys were covered (Raiders have the best cover corner in football IMO).  He did not do that when playing Dallas.

Cowboys are a huge zone-blitzing team, and were all over the slow-developing, misdirection plays the Texans like to use to get the ball downfield.  To me, a coverage sack is when the quarterback completely goes through his reads and then is sacked either while scrambling out of the pocket or waiting on the original receiver to come back from his original route-- it's real obvious.  This rarely actually happens though, and what is often labeled a coverage sack is simply a case of the rusher beating the lineman and disrupting the timing of the play or somebody coming on a delayed blitz or stunt.  A coverage sack is not when Schaub looks for Andre Johnson, sees that he's double covered, and then gets sacked or is forced to get rid of the ball immediately after.  He should have time to go through his reads.

[Astroholic]

Cowboys are a huge zone-blitzing team, and were all over the slow-developing, misdirection plays the Texans like to use to get the ball downfield.  To me, a coverage sack is when the quarterback completely goes through his reads and then is sacked either while scrambling out of the pocket or waiting on the original receiver to come back from his original route-- it's real obvious.  This rarely actually happens though, and what is often labeled a coverage sack is simply a case of the rusher beating the lineman and disrupting the timing of the play or somebody coming on a delayed blitz or stunt.  A coverage sack is not when Schaub looks for Andre Johnson, sees that he's double covered, and then gets sacked or is forced to get rid of the ball immediately after.  He should have time to go through his reads.

I know what the Cowboys do.   Go back and watch a couple of those 'sacks'.  Count to 6 in your head.  Watch Matt's helmet moving around.  most of the ones I watched and rewatched were coverage sacks.  1 of the sacks by Ware was not Matt's fault, but the others were IMO.  I agree with you that often announcers fall in love with certain sayings.
Aikman knows more about qbing that all of us put together.  If he calls it a coverage sack...well.

[Limey]

Aikman knows more about qbing that all of us put together.  If he calls it a coverage sack...well.

Aikman knows about sacks, and when one might be coming.

[MusicMan]

Aikman knows more about qbing that all of us put together.  If he calls it a coverage sack...well.

I think the phrase "he's forgotten more about football than we know" may well hold true here.

[roadrunner]

so Baylor is the best team in the state right now?

[hostros7]

I would say TCU, but we all know they don't count since they aren't in a BCS conference. 

[Taras Bulba]

The Frogs are a dominant team.  Baylor is somewhere between 55-7 over Kansas and 10-45 to TCU.

[Rebel Jew]

I know what the Cowboys do.   Go back and watch a couple of those 'sacks'.  Count to 6 in your head.  Watch Matt's helmet moving around.  most of the ones I watched and rewatched were coverage sacks.  1 of the sacks by Ware was not Matt's fault, but the others were IMO.  I agree with you that often announcers fall in love with certain sayings.
Aikman knows more about qbing that all of us put together.  If he calls it a coverage sack...well.

I see your point, and this is sort-of a tomato/tomotto conversation here, but I think there's a difference between a sack being the qb's fault and it being a coverage sack.  Peyton Manning is rarely sacked because he knows when to get rid of the ball, but I think this is irrespective of the coverage; he just knows the right time to get rid of the ball, and that a sack is a drive killer so it's not worth risking.  But I mean, it's the o-line's job to block, and for each play the lineman surely know exactly how much time they need to offer protection based on the requirements of the play.  So unless the QB just holds the ball forever, even after going through all his reads and seeing that the play is completely snuffed out, a sack is the result of a blitz or from one of the lineman getting beat.

And as for TV guys, I think it's interesting how ex-player and ex-coach announcers often seem to be the biggest cliche spewers of all.  This would seem to be a result of their compensating for weak verbal or analytical skills, but I'm often dumbfounded by how these analysts say things that not only are inaccurate but that they would seemingly know better about from their recent league experience.

[Taras Bulba]

Not really following this argument much, but an interception or a fumble are definetely "drivekillers."  There are worse things than taking a sack.

[Rebel Jew]

Not really following this argument much, but an interception or a fumble are definetely "drivekillers."  There are worse things than taking a sack.

I meant getting rid of it as throwing it away

[Limey]

And as for TV guys, I think it's interesting how ex-player and ex-coach announcers often seem to be the biggest cliche spewers of all.

They're not allowed to swear, so it's safer to use cliches than try to freeform.  I think 24-hour sports networks are systematically deconstructing the rules of grammar.

[Outlawscotty]

They're not allowed to swear, so it's safer to use cliches than try to freeform.  I think 24-hour sports networks are systematically deconstructing the rules of grammar.

It's almost better than their attempt to have a grasp of the actual English language.  Almost.

[geezerdonk]

At least Jamaal Charles will have somewhere to go after his playing days are over.