Author Topic: Astros @ DBags, Sept 3 (Read 7572 times)

Back when I lived in New York a couple of bandmates and I would hang out regularly after practice and so on. One guy, douchey, fucking stupid, former pro tennis player, now a pro poker player or at least pretending to be, lived with his parents in Bayside Queens. He drove a blue Hyundai and used to ferry us around. The other guy, Todd, was and still is a good friend of mine. He called me tonight in fact to tell me about some recent and rather startling business success.

Anyway, Douche Boy, let's call him Logan, figured out that if he drove around honking at the hot chicks strutting down the avenue that he could pretty well mortify Todd and me. So of course he did it all the fucking time. I'd slink down as low as I could in the seat as the chicks shot daggers in through the windows.

One balmy night Todd hit on a brilliant solution. We had the windows down, driving down Second Avenue in the East Village. Logan starts honking at the hot chicks who are needless to say everywhere. Todd thrusts his upper torso through the window and gestures wildly at Logan through the windshield screaming THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S FROM QUEEEENS!

And that, friends, was the end of the honking.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #38 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:27:30 pm »

Someone needs to kick that dancing fatass in the nads. That's ridiculous.

Bench · « **Reply #39 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:27:49 pm »

I don't see any ass warts but the fatass yellow shirted cell phone food tray guy is the human equivalent.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #40 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:29:16 pm »

Quote from: Bench on September 03, 2010, 10:27:49 pm

I don't see any ass warts but the fatass yellow shirted cell phone food tray guy is the human equivalent.

If I was sitting next to him he wouldn't have any kidneys.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #41 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:30:53 pm »

Good recovery by Myers.

Lurch · « **Reply #42 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:30:58 pm »

Just another Quality Start for Myers

3-2 Dbags after 6

Ron Brand · « **Reply #43 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:34:04 pm »

Sweet! Leadoff double is Bogusevic's first MLB hit!

Lurch · « **Reply #44 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:34:21 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on September 03, 2010, 10:29:16 pm

If I was sitting next to him he wouldn't have any kidneys.

Look at the poor SOB sitting next to him, wishing he was flying Southwest

moriartp · « **Reply #45 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:34:35 pm »

Quote from: Lurch on September 03, 2010, 10:30:58 pm

Just another Quality Start for Myers

Team MVP. No question.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #46 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:36:54 pm »

That kid is phoning home for negotiation tips.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #47 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:38:40 pm »

Keep shoveling that shit in your face, you fat fuck. Maybe it'll kill you and we can all watch you flop around.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #48 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:42:12 pm »

KEPP! Nice play.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #49 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:47:20 pm »

The yellow-shirted dipshit is gone. Either he's on the ground, in line for more grub, or he's dealing with an impacted colon.

Lurch · « **Reply #50 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:49:48 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on September 03, 2010, 10:47:20 pm

The yellow-shirted dipshit is gone. Either he's on the ground, in line for more grub, or he's dealing with an impacted colon.

My money is on getting an insulin shot

Lurch · « **Reply #51 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:52:09 pm »

Texans dropped Kris Brown today.

Great play by Wallace!

Ron Brand · « **Reply #52 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:52:28 pm »

Fine play by Wallace. If he's learning, just wait until he knows what he's doing.

chuck · « **Reply #53 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:52:48 pm »

I thought Wallace wasn't supposed to have a glove.

Lurch · « **Reply #54 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:54:42 pm »

Neck tattoo

Ron Brand · « **Reply #55 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:55:41 pm »

Quote from: Lurch on September 03, 2010, 10:54:42 pm

Neck tattoo

I wonder what epic that monstrosity was depicting. Classy and educational.

Lurch · « **Reply #56 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:57:28 pm »

A truly disturbing crowd shot

Lurch · « **Reply #57 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:58:43 pm »

CJ gets his first hit of the night. Damn he's got a nice swing

Ron Brand · « **Reply #58 on:** September 03, 2010, 10:59:11 pm »

He did a great job of waiting on that pitch too.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #59 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:01:14 pm »

Drat. Wallace Ks on the high cheese.

Lurch · « **Reply #60 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:04:58 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on September 03, 2010, 10:55:41 pm

I wonder what epic that monstrosity was depicting. Classy and educational.

I think that says Douche in Mandarin

HudsonHawk · « **Reply #61 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:05:58 pm »

Pence needs a fork out there in RF.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #62 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:07:54 pm »

Well, fuck.

Lurch · « **Reply #63 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:08:11 pm »

Quote from: HudsonHawk on September 03, 2010, 11:05:58 pm

Pence needs a fork out there in RF.

For his own safety, he's only allowed spoons

94CougarGrad · « **Reply #64 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:13:23 pm »

So lil 94CG#2 has a question. If a pitcher walks one batter during a game and that batter manages to score, but none of the other batters hit the ball and get on base, is it a no-hitter?

Lurch · « **Reply #65 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:13:55 pm »

Blum back? Need a big PH here

Lurch · « **Reply #66 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:14:33 pm »

Quote from: 94CougarGrad on September 03, 2010, 11:13:23 pm

So lil 94CG#2 has a question. If a pitcher walks one batter during a game and that batter manages to score, but none of the other batters hit the ball and get on base, is it a no-hitter?

It's a no hitter, but not a perfect game (and his scoring is irrelevant, regardless)

Ron Brand · « **Reply #67 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:15:32 pm »

Crap.

Michaels to PH now.

94CougarGrad · « **Reply #68 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:16:22 pm »

Quote from: Lurch on September 03, 2010, 11:14:33 pm

It's a no hitter, but not a perfect game (and his scoring is irrelevant, regardless)

I figured as much, but knew I could fact-check with somebody here. Thanks.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #69 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:16:42 pm »

Looks like it just isn't the Astros' night.

Lurch · « **Reply #70 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:16:58 pm »

Quote from: Ron Brand on September 03, 2010, 11:15:32 pm

Crap.

Michaels to PH now.

Good swing on one

94CougarGrad · « **Reply #71 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:17:30 pm »

Come oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon.

94CougarGrad · « **Reply #72 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:18:31 pm »

Oh, quit booing, you assholes, you know damn well those weren't strikes.

Lurch · « **Reply #73 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:19:34 pm »

Quote from: 94CougarGrad on September 03, 2010, 11:18:31 pm

Oh, quit booing, you assholes, you know damn well those weren't strikes.

Tough balls to take. Nice AB

Lurch · « **Reply #74 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:20:23 pm »

SAFE! Bourn on 1st

94CougarGrad · « **Reply #75 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:20:41 pm »

Saaaaafe!

Lurch · « **Reply #76 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:20:57 pm »

Good baseball, every fucking night

hostros7 · « **Reply #77 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:21:03 pm »

really nice transfer by drew and still can't get bourn

Ron Brand · « **Reply #78 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:21:26 pm »

Why did Sanchez swing at the first pitch?

Bench · « **Reply #79 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:22:04 pm »

That was still a damn fun game.

Lurch · « **Reply #80 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:22:26 pm »

Get them tomorrow, boys.

Hook 'em!

94CougarGrad · « **Reply #81 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:23:28 pm »

Aftuh awl, tahmarrah... is anuthuh day...

Eat 'em up, Coogs!

Bench · « **Reply #82 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:23:32 pm »

Quote from: 94CougarGrad on September 03, 2010, 11:13:23 pm

So lil 94CG#2 has a question. If a pitcher walks one batter during a game and that batter manages to score, but none of the other batters hit the ball and get on base, is it a no-hitter?

Simple equation: If nobody gets a hit, it's a no-hitter.

94CougarGrad · « **Reply #83 on:** September 03, 2010, 11:31:05 pm »

Quote from: Bench on September 03, 2010, 11:23:32 pm

Simple equation: If nobody gets a hit, it's a no-hitter.

Yeah, like I said, I figured as much, but it don't hurt to ask. Especially when you're surfing under the influence. Hooray for backyard barbecues and beer with friends.

OregonStrosFan · « **Reply #84 on:** September 04, 2010, 02:42:25 am »

Quote from: Lurch on September 03, 2010, 09:17:46 pm

Past Austro's bedtime... but OSF has no excuse

Oh, but I did...

HudsonHawk · « **Reply #85 on:** September 04, 2010, 10:44:07 am »

Quote from: Bench on September 03, 2010, 11:23:32 pm

Simple equation: If nobody gets a hit, it's a no-hitter.

That's *mostly* correct. To be credited with a no-hitter, a pitcher has to record at least 27 outs. So if a visiting pitcher doesn't allow a hit, but allows a run, and his team doesn't score and loses 1-0 in 8 1/2 innings, it's not a no-hitter.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #86 on:** September 04, 2010, 11:00:56 am »

He also has to finish the game that way, or at least the game has to end as a no-hitter. Re: the travesty they pulled on Harvey Haddix.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #87 on:** September 04, 2010, 11:06:58 am »

Quote from: Ron Brand on September 04, 2010, 11:00:56 am

He also has to finish the game that way, or at least the game has to end as a no-hitter. Re: the travesty they pulled on Harvey Haddix.

Tough shit.

Bench · « **Reply #88 on:** September 04, 2010, 11:31:56 am »

Quote from: HudsonHawk on September 04, 2010, 10:44:07 am

That's *mostly* correct. To be credited with a no-hitter, a pitcher has to record at least 27 outs. So if a visiting pitcher doesn't allow a hit, but allows a run, and his team doesn't score and loses 1-0 in 8 1/2 innings, it's not a no-hitter.

It's still a no-hitter, regardless of what MLB recognizes.

HudsonHawk · « **Reply #89 on:** September 04, 2010, 11:32:52 am »

Quote from: Ron Brand on September 04, 2010, 11:00:56 am

He also has to finish the game that way, or at least the game has to end as a no-hitter. Re: the travesty they pulled on Harvey Haddix.

I'm not sure how Haddix got screwed...he gave up a hit; hence, it's not a no-hitter.

HudsonHawk · « **Reply #90 on:** September 04, 2010, 11:33:40 am »

Quote from: Bench on September 04, 2010, 11:31:56 am

It's still a no-hitter, regardless of what MLB recognizes.

No it's not.

Ron Brand · « **Reply #91 on:** September 04, 2010, 01:40:08 pm »

Haddix got screwed because he completed the first 12 innings of perfect ball and had it recognized by MLB as a no-hitter for about 30 years before they decided to change their mind.