Author Topic: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?  (Read 4627 times)

Limey

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Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« on: August 30, 2010, 04:16:07 pm »
She was not under arrest, nor suspicion of any wrongdoing.  While her boyfriend was failing his field sobriety test, she said she wanted to apply some lip balm and so handed her purse over to the cop to check it before she would be allowed to delve into it.  Cocaine fell out.

Unless you buy the explanation that it wasn't her purse, even though all of its contents - save the baggy of whizz - was hers, she is one dumb bint.
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Ron Brand

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2010, 04:25:35 pm »
I've got a friend who was pulled over several years ago, probably for speeding. He pulled out his wallet to get his license and his half-filled vial fell out. Idiot.
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MusicMan

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2010, 04:28:22 pm »
Unless you buy the explanation that it wasn't her purse, even though all of its contents - save the baggy of whizz - was hers, she is one dumb bint.

There is no explanation of Paris Hilton that does not lead back to "extremely stupid".
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Lurch

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2010, 04:31:06 pm »
1 year minimum per federal guidelines.  Awesome fail
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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #4 on: August 30, 2010, 05:19:17 pm »
1 year minimum per federal guidelines.  Awesome fail

why are the feds involved?
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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #5 on: August 30, 2010, 05:59:12 pm »
why are the feds involved?

Mandatory minimum sentencing laws...in other words, legislators sentencing from Congress (as opposed to judges legislating from the bench).
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Ron Brand

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #6 on: August 30, 2010, 06:07:50 pm »
Yes, but is her possession case a Federal crime?
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MusicMan

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #7 on: August 30, 2010, 06:13:38 pm »
Yes, but is her possession case a Federal crime?

No, her popularity is.
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

HudsonHawk

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2010, 08:07:01 pm »
The rules of distinction were thrown out with the baseball cap.  It does not lend itself to protocol.  It is found today on youth in homes, classrooms, even in fine restaurants.  Regardless of its other consequences, this is a breach against civility.  A civilized man should avoid this mania.

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #9 on: August 30, 2010, 08:30:31 pm »
No, her popularity is.

She has a reggae album and a fragrance that is commonly sold at gas station.  The world is an absurd place.
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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #10 on: August 30, 2010, 10:12:49 pm »
I think Roger Clemens, Paris, and Lohan might have to roshambo for dumbest ever, and you know the Rocket hates to lose.  Hopefully, his hammy holds up.

strosrays

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #11 on: August 30, 2010, 10:49:07 pm »
She was not under arrest, nor suspicion of any wrongdoing.  While her boyfriend was failing his field sobriety test, she said she wanted to apply some lip balm and so handed her purse over to the cop to check it before she would be allowed to delve into it.  Cocaine fell out.

Unless you buy the explanation that it wasn't her purse, even though all of its contents - save the baggy of whizz - was hers, she is one dumb bint.

Wanting to put on a dab of lipstick, on the side of the road after the cops pull you over, while watching your date fixing to get thrown in the pokey, that seems perfectly understandable to me.  What's so dumb about that?

Col. Sphinx Drummond

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #12 on: August 31, 2010, 05:58:03 am »
I can't stand them now, but I bet it would be fun, at least once, to get Paris and Lindsay to hop on a time machine, go back in time about 20 years, and party with Mr. Happy.
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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #13 on: August 31, 2010, 10:37:35 am »
she had not had a tv show or sex tape in a while, so maybe
forever is composed entirely of nows

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #14 on: August 31, 2010, 01:42:57 pm »
I can't stand them now, but I bet it would be fun, at least once, to get Paris and Lindsay to hop on a time machine, go back in time about 20 years, and party with Mr. Happy.
Wait. I like Mr Happy... On any time plane.
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Limey

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #15 on: August 31, 2010, 01:43:57 pm »
I can't stand them now, but I bet it would be fun, at least once, to get Paris and Lindsay to hop on a time machine, go back in time about 20 years, and party with Mr. Happy.

All you need is a hot tub and some Chernobly.
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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #16 on: August 31, 2010, 04:22:23 pm »
I can't stand them now, but I bet it would be fun, at least once, to get Paris and Lindsay to hop on a time machine, go back in time about 20 years, and party with Mr. Happy.

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #17 on: August 31, 2010, 04:50:39 pm »
Only if StrosRays comes along!

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #18 on: August 31, 2010, 05:44:12 pm »
all of you quick go watch te south park where  pairs tries to outho everyone the  go and be thankful
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BatGirl

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #19 on: August 31, 2010, 06:27:52 pm »
it really seemed appropriate to let you have the last word in this thread
but i have to know:

outho?
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Andyzipp

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #20 on: August 31, 2010, 06:35:29 pm »
all of you quick go watch te south park where  pairs tries to outho everyone the  go and be thankful

It's just not funny anymore.

Lurch

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #21 on: August 31, 2010, 06:52:20 pm »
It's just not funny anymore.

South Park is, though
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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #22 on: September 01, 2010, 08:58:48 am »
I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing AstroTurf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, torture of Bud Selig.

GreatBagwellsBeard

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #23 on: September 01, 2010, 09:21:07 am »
Really?

Yes, really.  No show bats 1.000, but they're damned good.
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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #24 on: September 01, 2010, 09:32:31 am »
I think the two part episode "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs" from this year, is one of the funniest things ever on television.
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Limey

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #25 on: September 01, 2010, 09:43:06 am »
it really seemed appropriate to let you have the last word in this thread
but i have to know:

outho?

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BatGirl

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #26 on: September 01, 2010, 10:17:55 am »
[Fredia]  Out 'ho  [/Fredia]

thankyou
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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #27 on: September 01, 2010, 08:37:19 pm »
I think the two part episode "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs" from this year, is one of the funniest things ever on television.

Didn't catch those, but the "Die Hippies Die," Paris Hilton, Bin Laden and 'change zombies' episodes are in my Southpark top 5.
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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #28 on: September 01, 2010, 09:42:10 pm »
Didn't catch those, but the "Die Hippies Die," Paris Hilton, Bin Laden and 'change zombies' episodes are in my Southpark top 5.

Love SP.

Also, lately for some reason, I find the Moonites to be consistently hilarious

Col. Sphinx Drummond

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #29 on: September 02, 2010, 05:42:50 am »
I think the 2nd episode "The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs" from this year, is one of the funniest things ever on television.

ETA: link to episode.
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NeilT

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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #30 on: September 02, 2010, 12:19:55 pm »
South Park is unwatchable, which must prove my age. 
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And
« Reply #31 on: September 02, 2010, 12:21:08 pm »
It was Ortho.  She's going to spray garden pesticides.
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Re: Paris Hilton: Dumbest Ever?
« Reply #32 on: September 03, 2010, 11:05:51 pm »
I thought she was trying to type "ouzo" but her fingers had a lisp.
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