Chuck: is that you?
You know what I wear to the beach? A pair of Billabong board shorts, a linen short sleeve shirt (for fast and easy drying) likely as not bought from Old Navy, white or light blue usually, and a pair of Havaianas.
I bring a hat, too, in case I decide to read. I have an Astros hat that I like quite a bit but I've worn it golfing so much it smells horribly like cat piss. I can't wear it yet I can't bear to throw it out. Maybe I'll wash it one day. So lately I've been wearing a white Texans hat. I have quite a collection of hats here. I have a couple of Early Cuyler hats both of which are regionally appropriate: 'I Heart Cock Fighting' and 'No Habla Jibber Jabber.' I also somehow ended up with a couple of Ricardo Martinelli campaign hats. I'm not sure where they came from. Oh! I was walking around in the Casco Viejo the other day, Saturday it was, and I look down to the end of the street and I see a guy turning the corner driving a red golf cart. I'm like, What?... A golf cart on the streets of Panama City? You're taking your life into your own hands driving around in a Hummer much less a golf cart. Then I see behind the golf cart two guys on Segways. Right about that time the shopkeeper across the street starts jumping around like a Kansas City faggot trying to get his customers' attention inside the shop. I come to my senses and realize that the fellow driving the golf cart is indeed Ricardo Martinelli, the President of the Republic of Panama. I gave him a cheerful wave which he returned.
And I suppose this is as good a time as any to mention that earlier that same Saturday a waitress did in fact sit down at my table to take our order.