For Soccer Fans Scoring At Home

[Alkie]

The USA was the only group winner to not advance out of the second round.

Also, Group C (USA's group) was the only one to not send a single team to the Round of 8.

[MusicMan]

If the soccer fans are scoring at home, then they don't much care about the World Cup results, right?

[austro]

In case it hasn't already, this story ought to make Alkie's head explode.

[Alkie]

Can I ask all the soccer fans a very real question?   Are the people in charge of soccer (whoever the fuck that really is) genuinely just people with zero education or real world experience?   I'm asking a real question here; are the people in charge of rules and regulations and sportsmanship qualified humans or is it like the sort of thing where "now it's this third world nation's turn to have the leader in the sport" and soccer ends up being run by someone with a 1st grade education and no grasp of mathematics or human psychology?

Or does it just seem that way?

[MusicMan]

Can I ask all the soccer fans a very real question?   Are the people in charge of soccer (whoever the fuck that really is) genuinely just people with zero education or real world experience?   I'm asking a real question here; are the people in charge of rules and regulations and sportsmanship qualified humans or is it like the sort of thing where "now it's this third world nation's turn to have the leader in the sport" and soccer ends up being run by someone with a 1st grade education and no grasp of mathematics or human psychology?

Or does it just seem that way?

Bud Selig and Gary Bettman say hi.

[Trey]

The USA was the only group winner to not advance out of the second round.

Also, Group C (USA's group) was the only one to not send a single team to the Round of 8.

Given the setup of the tournament, doesn't A imply B?

[Alkie]

Bud Selig and Gary Bettman say hi.

Eh, I guess.  But you're doing it again.  You know exactly what I mean, but you're using poor examples to try to counter what I'm saying.  That's cool, if you still think 10-4 Nebraska and 1-1-2 USA are the same thing and that MLB (or even the NHL) is the same as FIFA, an organization that even the diehardiest of fans are trashing this shit out this week as a poorly organized group of 17th century retards, it's all you, bro.

I'm not even talking about the disallowed goals or the officiating on the field (which, I will admit, is open to being terrible in every sport), I'm talking about the fact soccer doesn't seem to actually have someone with ANY kind of mathematics background who sits down, puts pencil to paper, and goes "you know what, this new rule actually rewards scoring on yourself and playing a game where both teams stand to gain more by picking their noses than playing the game itself."

[Lurch]

In case it hasn't already, this story ought to make Alkie's head explode.

HOLY SHIT!  Anyone find video of this?

[Alkie]

Given the setup of the tournament, doesn't A imply B?

Nope.  England could have won.

But I see what you mean, that would have meant that the group winner they played would have also lost.

So....yes.

[Limey]

Can I ask all the soccer fans a very real question?   Are the people in charge of soccer (whoever the fuck that really is) genuinely just people with zero education or real world experience?   I'm asking a real question here; are the people in charge of rules and regulations and sportsmanship qualified humans or is it like the sort of thing where "now it's this third world nation's turn to have the leader in the sport" and soccer ends up being run by someone with a 1st grade education and no grasp of mathematics or human psychology?

Or does it just seem that way?

They are horrendous.  From today's Fiver:

The Fiver confused is. Woke up in our cot this morning and heard authoritative voices on the wireless reporting that the FBI had arrested 10 Russian spies masquerading as good ol' boys in Jon Bon Jovi's backyard or some such. Naturally we assumed we were suffering some sort of Purple Tin-induced relapse into the last century. But then came the next report, which claimed that the ultimate stickler for the last century's ways, Sepp Blatter, has not merely changed the 78rpm record on his cobwebbed gramophone but actually declared his willingness to embrace modern technology! Verily, we'd invite you to join us in singing the chorus of Four Non Blondes' one and only hit if we could figure out whether or not that was topical, and if it weren't pap.

It seems there was something about Frank Lampard's wrongly disallowed goal against Germany and Carlos Tevez's wrongly allowed goal against Mexico that has stirred a sentiment in Blatter to which he had long been considered immune: shame. "It is obvious that after the experience so far in this World Cup it would be a nonsense to not reopen the file of technology at the business meeting of the International FA Board in July," admitted Blatter. "Personally I deplore it when you see evident referee mistakes. But it's not the end of a competition or the end of football, this can happen." It certainly can, especially when you institutionalise incompetence.

"The only thing I can do is yesterday I have spoken to the two federations [England and Mexico] directly concerned by referees's mistakes," continued Blatter, arbitrarily limiting the number of federations concerned by referees' mistakes to two, which, coincidentally, is also the the number of goals the USA! USA!! USA!!! had wrongly chalked off in this tournament and the number of times Thierry Henry handled the ball before the infamous France goal that last year turned the Republic O'Ireland into the world's foremost whine-fuelled economy. "I have expressed to them apologies and I understand they are not happy and that people are criticising," blathered Blatter, who had had nothing but mockery for the Irish.

Still, the Irish deserve to be mocked. Or at least the mandarins of the Northern Irish FA do, for they, along with their counterparts from the Welsh FA, joined Fifa in voting against the introduction of goal-line technology when the International Football Association Board met last March. Ifab is the sport's rule-making body and comprises eight members: four from Fifa, who always vote in unison, and one each from England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. So there's another relic from times that should be past. Still, at least Blatter promised to to "take on board the discussion on technology" at Ifab's next meeting, which, come to think of it, isn't much of a commitment at all. Ah, reassuringly typical.

[Alkie]

Wait.  So the rules committee is 4 rotating people from the third world and then, inexplicably, 4 Brits?

What the fuck is that?

[Ebby Calvin]

HOLY SHIT!  Anyone find video of this?

Link

[austro]

Can I ask all the soccer fans a very real question?   Are the people in charge of soccer (whoever the fuck that really is) genuinely just people with zero education or real world experience?   I'm asking a real question here; are the people in charge of rules and regulations and sportsmanship qualified humans or is it like the sort of thing where "now it's this third world nation's turn to have the leader in the sport" and soccer ends up being run by someone with a 1st grade education and no grasp of mathematics or human psychology?

Or does it just seem that way?

Sepp Blatter makes Juan Antonio Samaranch look like a paragon of honor, integrity, and forward-looking concern for the future of his organization.

[Alkie]

What I'd like to see is FIFA open a casino.   I'm fucking there.

[Limey]

Wait.  So the rules committee is 4 rotating people from the third world and then, inexplicably, 4 Brits?

What the fuck is that?

It's an example of how in touch FIFA is.  I.e. not at all.

And if you want more Selig analogies...  Sepp Blatter is German, a proper one: fat and arrogant.  When it was mooted that some of the stadia in South Africa might not be complete for this tournament, he announced with full Teutonic pomposity that he would move the whole tournament to another country.  Guess which one?  Not Milwaukee...guess again.

[MusicMan]

Eh, I guess.  But you're doing it again.  You know exactly what I mean, but you're using poor examples to try to counter what I'm saying.  That's cool, if you still think 10-4 Nebraska and 1-1-2 USA are the same thing and that MLB (or even the NHL) is the same as FIFA, an organization that even the diehardiest of fans are trashing this shit out this week as a poorly organized group of 17th century retards, it's all you, bro.

We're really talking about degrees of idiocy.  With Bettman, I'd be perfectly willing to believe a conspiracy theory that David Stern planted him with the NHL as a method of destroying the competition.  And I don't think many people believe Selig is any great genius... in fact, his past attitude on technology was close to FIFA's.

But back to Nebraska... first of all, 10-4 (or any CFB record) is misleading.  In CFB, with cupcake scheduling, if you can't win 6 games, you're a terrible, terrible team... you know, the kind that wouldn't make the World Cup final.

So let's toss out the teams that are completely noncompetitive for 2009... FAU, Arky State, ULaLa, and Baylor... now they're 6-4.  (Beating teams like that is your qualifier round, like being able to advance past the likes of Costa Rica and Cuba.)

So do you really want to say that a 6-4 team, that lost a 9-7 game to Iowa State, is all that different than a US squad that went 2-1-1 if you count goals that were, you know, goals?

[Bench]

So let's toss out the teams that are completely noncompetitive for 2009... FAU, Arky State, ULaLa, and Baylor... now they're 6-4.  (Beating teams like that is your qualifier round, like being able to advance past the likes of Costa Rica and Cuba.)

So do you really want to say that a 6-4 team, that lost a 9-7 game to Iowa State, is all that different than a US squad that went 2-1-1 if you count goals that were, you know, goals?

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

[Alkie]

So do you really want to say that a 6-4 team, that lost a 9-7 game to Iowa State, is all that different than a US squad that went 2-1-1 if you count goals that were, you know, goals?

Whoa whoa there.  You don't get to apologize for the sport and organization and then, when convenient, decide their stupidity doesn't, you know, count.

I'm really sorry we're doing this; it comes across as if I have some ax to grind with you, and I really don't.

[Noe]

Sepp Blatter makes Juan Antonio Samaranch look like a paragon of honor, integrity, and forward-looking concern for the future of his organization.

I saw his presser this morning on ESPN.  I don't usually like throwing up in the morning but in this case it could not be helped.

[Bench]

I saw his presser this morning on ESPN.  I don't usually like throwing up in the morning but in this case it could not be helped.

I liked his strongly worded warning to Nicolas Sarkozy regarding meddling in the affairs of football.

[Noe]

Wait.  So the rules committee is 4 rotating people from the third world and then, inexplicably, 4 Brits?

What the fuck is that?

You're leaving out the gamblers and terrorist who have big cayshe reasons to have things a certain way... know what I mean.

[JaneDoe]

Whoa whoa there.  You don't get to apologize for the sport and organization and then, when convenient, decide their stupidity doesn't, you know, count.

I'm really sorry we're doing this; it comes across as if I have some ax to grind with you, and I really don't.

Geez, Alkie, confine your grinding to your own axe.

[MusicMan]

Whoa whoa there.  You don't get to apologize for the sport and organization and then, when convenient, decide their stupidity doesn't, you know, count.

I'm really sorry we're doing this; it comes across as if I have some ax to grind with you, and I really don't.

No, it's cool.  Irrational defense of a throwaway comparison is a hobby of mine.

[Alkie]

No, it's cool.  Irrational defense of a throwaway comparison is a hobby of mine.

Hey!  Starting shit about shit I don't actually care about is mine!

[Matt]

Hating FIFA is part of being a fan of soccer.

[94CougarGrad]

In case it hasn't already, this story ought to make Alkie's head explode.

MY head exploded. Complicated goofy shit like this is why I don't watch soccer. Bah!

[AtascAstro]

MY head exploded. Complicated goofy shit like this is why I don't watch soccer. Bah!

Really.  An oddity that occurred in the first round of the "Caribbean Cup" 16 years ago spoils the whole sport?  What is the likely hood that something equally screwed up has happened in a carrbbean baseball tournament in the last 20 years?

You don't watch soccer because it isn't your style of game.  You don't like the pace, your dig the long ball, that is ok.  You don't have to like it, but reasoning it  based on Barbados v Grenada 1996 is kind of silly.

[Noe]

Really.  An oddity that occurred in the first round of the "Caribbean Cup" 16 years ago spoils the whole sport?  What is the likely hood that something equally screwed up has happened in a carrbbean baseball tournament in the last 20 years?

You don't watch soccer because it isn't your style of game.  You don't like the pace, your dig the long ball, that is ok.  You don't have to like it, but reasoning it  based on Barbados v Grenada 1996 is kind of silly.

I hate baseball because of the way the game is played in Japan!  So there!

[Guinness]

Can a goalie deliberately (or otherwise, I guess) score an own goal by just tossing the ball into the net?

[Bench]

Can a goalie deliberately (or otherwise, I guess) score an own goal by just tossing the ball into the net?

Of course.  And then he can rip off his jersey to reveal the other team's jersey and grab a near by steel chair and smack his team's beloved captain over the head with it.

[Guinness]

Of course.  And then he can rip off his jersey to reveal the other team's jersey and grab a near by steel chair and smack his team's beloved captain over the head with it.

Thanks, that was my next question.

[Bench]

Simmons provides an amusing list of 20 Questions about the 2010 World Cup.  It's an entertaining read from an American sportsfan who was never much of a fan of soccer until recently greatly enjoying the world's greatest tournament.  He's even grown to appreciate the vuvuzelas: 

Question No. 5: Speaking of the vuvuzelas, did you really tell a friend that you have developed Patty Hearst Syndrome with them?

That's true. I don't mind them any longer. I like the World Cup, so the vuvuzela sound has become Pavlov's dinner bell for me. I hear them and think, "Cool, the World Cup's on!" By the way, you know something is historically annoying when you can compare it to a hostage sympathizing with his or her captors and the comparison actually works.