Little League again

[Houston]

Our Little League season begins tomorrow, a week later than usual because of how cold and snowy it was earlier in the year.

For the second year in a row, I'll be coaching the Cardinals. (At least it's not the Cubs, though not that much better.)

I think I'll have some good hitters and not much pitching, so we'll have to outslug other teams to have a chance.

How do your teams look?

[MusicMan]

How do your teams look?

It's been tough.  My kid's coach won't keep a consistent lineup, and keeps shoving some of our better hitters down in the order.  None of the other parents seem to care, but my wife keeps bugging me about it, and I finally asked him to settle on a batting order.  He hasn't responded yet, but I'm sure he'll see things her my way.

[MikeyBoy]

It's been tough.  My kid's coach won't keep a consistent lineup, and keeps shoving some of our better hitters down in the order.  None of the other parents seem to care, but my wife keeps bugging me about it, and I finally asked him to settle on a batting order.  He hasn't responded yet, but I'm sure he'll see things her my way.

Nice.

[Taras Bulba]

It's been tough.  My kid's coach won't keep a consistent lineup, and keeps shoving some of our better hitters down in the order.  None of the other parents seem to care, but my wife keeps bugging me about it, and I finally asked him to settle on a batting order.  He hasn't responded yet, but I'm sure he'll see things her my way.

You wouldn't have to put up with that kind of thing if you moved your kid over to a select league.

[das]

Our Little League season begins tomorrow, a week later than usual because of how cold and snowy it was earlier in the year.

For the second year in a row, I'll be coaching the Cardinals. (At least it's not the Cubs, though not that much better.)

I think I'll have some good hitters and not much pitching, so we'll have to outslug other teams to have a chance.

How do your teams look?

I'm still waiting for that first foster kid with the plus, plus arm or 5 tool skillz that I can vicariously live my life through...

[Duman]

Had our first game last night.  Lost 7-2.  They hit it better than we did.  A first year kid came out of no where and hit 2 ground rule doubles (honest one hop over the fence ones) for the other team. 

My team had 14 K's and 2 errors in the field.  I expect us to be a team that improves over the year.

[Jacksonian]

It's been tough.  My kid's coach won't keep a consistent lineup, and keeps shoving some of our better hitters down in the order.  None of the other parents seem to care, but my wife keeps bugging me about it, and I finally asked him to settle on a batting order.  He hasn't responded yet, but I'm sure he'll see things her my way.

Arghh!

Actually sent an email that would make Noe proud.

[Houston]

I'm still waiting for that first foster kid with the plus, plus arm or 5 tool skillz that I can vicariously live my life through...

Just don't send him back to Russia if he K's too often (or threatens to burn down your house) -- especially if he's from Central America.

[Mr. Happy]

It's been tough.  My kid's coach won't keep a consistent lineup, and keeps shoving some of our better hitters down in the order.  None of the other parents seem to care, but my wife keeps bugging me about it, and I finally asked him to settle on a batting order.  He hasn't responded yet, but I'm sure he'll see things her my way.

Coach's decision. I'd stay out of it, personally.

[Lurch]

Coach's decision. I'd stay out of it, personally.

Batteries are on aisle 4

[JimR]

Coach's decision. I'd stay out of it, personally.

uh, Mr. H., you missed something here.

[94CougarGrad]

Coach's decision. I'd stay out of it, personally.

Did you forget to set the coffeemaker on automatic brew?

[HudsonHawk]

Had our first game last night.  Lost 7-2.  They hit it better than we did.  A first year kid came out of no where and hit 2 ground rule doubles (honest one hop over the fence ones) for the other team. 

I still remember the first time I ever witnessed an honest to goodness, over the fence, home run while on the field.  I was 9 years old (considered 10 in Little League years), and catching for the Astros of the "Grapefruit League", which is what we called our "minor league" for 10-12 year olds.  We were playing the Colts, and they had a kid named Lee Terry, who was 12 years old in Little League years, almost 13 in actual years.  Of course being 4 years older than most of the other kids had its advantages.  Anyway, I was catching, he was hitting, and he hit a ball to dead center field that just seemed like it traveled for days.  I was just gobsmacked that anyone could hit a baseball that far.  It went about 204 feet.

[Noe]

I still remember the first time I ever witnessed an honest to goodness, over the fence, home run while on the field.  I was 9 years old (considered 10 in Little League years), and catching for the Astros of the "Grapefruit League", which is what we called our "minor league" for 10-12 year olds.  We were playing the Colts, and they had a kid named Lee Terry, who was 12 years old in Little League years, almost 13 in actual years.  Of course being 4 years older than most of the other kids had its advantages.  Anyway, I was catching, he was hitting, and he hit a ball to dead center field that just seemed like it traveled for days.  I was just gobsmacked that anyone could hit a baseball that far.  It went about 204 feet.

I was the only kid to hit a ball over the fence (on the fly) in our little league (that I know of) at good ol' Settegast Park.  This was in a tournament too, so pratically the whole neighborhood was in attendance.  I was not known as the best hitter on the team (that honor belonged to my first cousin).  I hit in the lower part of the lineup.  I was 10 years old at the time and smaller than most of the other kids.  So when this kid for the other team we were facing threw a fastball that practically whistled past everyone (he had like 16 Ks in the game), we all knew we were toast.  So trailing 5-1 going into the last inning, we get two men on (one walk and one hit) with no outs.  The coach for the other visits the mound and basically tells the kid to stop fooling around and just throw fastballs down the middle and get the next three outs.  I'm up next.

I step in, decide the only way I was going to hit this guy is swing early and level.  So I did.  And I closed my eyes too (don't know why, I just did).  Next thing I know everyone is screaming while I'm looking around trying to find the ball (first place I looked was at the catcher, I swear I did).  Then I noticed the second basemam is pointing to the sky.  "Oh wow, I hit a fly ball! I hit a fly ball!" I said as I ran towards first.  Then I noticed as I neared first base that the right fielder is running to the fence and stopping.  "No way, I hit a homerun?"  Then I heard the umpire scream "FOUL BALL!"  I made it over the fence alright, but it hooked foul at the last minute so it was just a noisy foul ball.

I went back to the box and promptly struck out two pitches later.  We lost 5-4 and the tournament championship was lost.  We all got second place trophies.  Afterwards, I'm okay with everything because I'm looking forward to the sno-cone.  All of a sudden I'm surrounded by people from my neighborhood patting me on the back telling me they were impressed with my massive foul ball hit.  "Huh?" said I, but took the praise any way.

That is the only time I ever hit the ball over the fence until I got to Amatuer League.

[JackAstro]

That is the only time I ever hit the ball over the fence until I got to Amatuer League.

Mostly unrelated (note that this will not stop me from continuing anyway), but I trust that most everyone here has played in their share of city league softball games. It's pretty common to have home runs counted as outs in a lot of the leagues, at least here in Austin. And in nearly every game, you'd see at least one guy put one out of the yard on purpose – usually with the outcome still in doubt – taking the out in exchange for the public display of power. I love that guy. It's especially bitchin' when paired with the smug look of mock sheepishness when trotting back to the dugout, like OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST ACCIDENTALLY HIT IT SO INCREDIBLY FUCKING FAR MY BAD LOL

[Lurch]

Mostly unrelated (note that this will not stop me from continuing anyway), but I trust that most everyone here has played in their share of city league softball games. It's pretty common to have home runs counted as outs in a lot of the leagues, at least here in Austin. And in nearly every game, you'd see at least one guy put one out of the yard on purpose – usually with the outcome still in doubt – taking the out in exchange for the public display of power. I love that guy. It's especially bitchin' when paired with the smug look of mock sheepishness when trotting back to the dugout, like OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST ACCIDENTALLY HIT IT SO INCREDIBLY FUCKING FAR MY BAD LOL

I'm a big fan of that guy, too.   The one that sits on the bench between fields and acts surprised when you ask him to fill in for a missing player.  "Oh, I play a little bit.  Here, let me just grab my custom monographed bag with three different bats." He, in his way too tight baseball pants and seven sweatbands, then proceeds to step out of the box between pitches to go through his 10 second pre swing ritual, argues throughout the game with the 17 year old ump, gives unsolicited and far too advanced advice to your right fielder (IT guy) who has played maybe twice in his whole life, throws as hard as possible from 2nd to your first baseman (who would now like to play a different position, please) , reminds your pitcher throughout the game to "just throw strikes", and then after the game tells you to give him a call next time you need a player.  He's awesome.

[JackAstro]

I'm a big fan of that guy, too.   The one that sits on the bench between fields and acts surprised when you ask him to fill in for a missing player.  "Oh, I play a little bit.  Here, let me just grab my custom monographed bag with three different bats." He, in his way too tight baseball pants and seven sweatbands, then proceeds to step out of the box between pitches to go through his 10 second pre swing ritual, argues throughout the game with the 17 year old ump, gives unsolicited and far too advanced advice to your right fielder (IT guy) who has played maybe twice in his whole life, throws as hard as possible from 2nd to your first baseman (who would now like to play a different position, please) , reminds your pitcher throughout the game to "just throw strikes", and then after the game tells you to give him a call next time you need a player.  He's awesome.

YES. Good lord, softball stereotypes are the best.

[Mr. Happy]

uh, Mr. H., you missed something here.

Oh that. That right in front of my nose? Oh. Well, shit. Never mind.

[MikeyBoy]

Mostly unrelated (note that this will not stop me from continuing anyway), but I trust that most everyone here has played in their share of city league softball games. It's pretty common to have home runs counted as outs in a lot of the leagues, at least here in Austin. And in nearly every game, you'd see at least one guy put one out of the yard on purpose – usually with the outcome still in doubt – taking the out in exchange for the public display of power. I love that guy. It's especially bitchin' when paired with the smug look of mock sheepishness when trotting back to the dugout, like OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST ACCIDENTALLY HIT IT SO INCREDIBLY FUCKING FAR MY BAD LOL

I'm a big fan of that guy, too.   The one that sits on the bench between fields and acts surprised when you ask him to fill in for a missing player.  "Oh, I play a little bit.  Here, let me just grab my custom monographed bag with three different bats." He, in his way too tight baseball pants and seven sweatbands, then proceeds to step out of the box between pitches to go through his 10 second pre swing ritual, argues throughout the game with the 17 year old ump, gives unsolicited and far too advanced advice to your right fielder (IT guy) who has played maybe twice in his whole life, throws as hard as possible from 2nd to your first baseman (who would now like to play a different position, please) , reminds your pitcher throughout the game to "just throw strikes", and then after the game tells you to give him a call next time you need a player.  He's awesome.

You fuckers could at least say hi.

[toddthebod]

I'm actually coaching my son's little league team this year.  He's in the majors (5-7th grades) and is one of the youngest players in the league.  We have a team full of nice kids who are getting along great.  No one complains when they sit.  (We sit everyone at least one inning a game.)  Even the parents are pretty good.  So far we are 1-1-1 (we called one game with the score tied at 4-4 because it was 9:30 pm and cold).  We have come back in every game so far and I am very impressed with the heart that the kids play with

[JackAstro]

You fuckers could at least say hi.

No time, sorry. Too busy drinking and complaining about the sorry state of my various ligaments and tendons, which I did not stretch because I was too busy drinking and complaining about the sorry state of my various ligaments and tendons.

[EasTexAstro]

No time, sorry. Too busy drinking and complaining about the sorry state of my various ligaments and tendons, which I did not stretch because I was too busy drinking and complaining about the sorry state of my various ligaments and tendons.

I once broke my arm going for my beer during a softball game.

[Duman]

My son pitched tonight.  He fanned 12 in 4 2/3 allowing 5 base runners.  He reached his pitch limit and the next kid walked two batters to load the bases.  I bring in a kid who has never pitched in a game and he K's the next hitter.  It was  a 0-0 game going into the bottom of the 5th.  We scored 1 when their pitcher reached his pitch count. 

So all we need is 3 outs. 

10 walks, 2 HBP, 2 E3's,one double later and 3 pitchers later, we are down 13-1 going into the bottom of the 6th.  We lose 13-2. 

I had used 3 other pitchers on Tuesday and two of those had exceed pitch counts to pitch in tonight's game.  The 3rd had walked two batters on 8 pitches on Tuesday.  I called him in to close out the game tonight. 

As a coach I was at a loss.  As a dad, I was super proud.  My son never gave any indication of frustration as the game slowly walked away.  He stayed positive.  And then after the game at 10:15 local time, he looked at me and said "Dad, I need to run because I pitched"  He did two laps by himself while the parks & rec guys waited to turn out the lights. 

[JaneDoe]

Sounds like you got a great kid there!

[austro]

I had used 3 other pitchers on Tuesday and two of those had exceed pitch counts to pitch in tonight's game.  The 3rd had walked two batters on 8 pitches on Tuesday.  I called him in to close out the game tonight. 

Coop!

[Houston]

My son pitched tonight.  He fanned 12 in 4 2/3 allowing 5 base runners.  He reached his pitch limit and the next kid walked two batters to load the bases.  I bring in a kid who has never pitched in a game and he K's the next hitter.  It was  a 0-0 game going into the bottom of the 5th.  We scored 1 when their pitcher reached his pitch count. 

So all we need is 3 outs. 

10 walks, 2 HBP, 2 E3's,one double later and 3 pitchers later, we are down 13-1 going into the bottom of the 6th.  We lose 13-2. 

I had used 3 other pitchers on Tuesday and two of those had exceed pitch counts to pitch in tonight's game.  The 3rd had walked two batters on 8 pitches on Tuesday.  I called him in to close out the game tonight. 

As a coach I was at a loss.  As a dad, I was super proud.  My son never gave any indication of frustration as the game slowly walked away.  He stayed positive.  And then after the game at 10:15 local time, he looked at me and said "Dad, I need to run because I pitched"  He did two laps by himself while the parks & rec guys waited to turn out the lights. 

Your last inning was my most of my innings this year. It's tough when you don't have any pitching. Our team won the championship last year and so far this year, we're 0-4 with no real chances of winning anything. Our pitchers are wild and timid.

Right now, I'm just trying to find way to bring back some fun for them so they don't get bored and quit.

I'm open to suggestions.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Speculate about retiring when your current contract is up.

[subnuclear]

Teach an eleven-year old girl how to throw a wicked curveball and get some creepy punk who rides a motorcycle and hustles adults at air hockey as your clean-up hitter and center fielder.

[MusicMan]

Teach an eleven-year old girl how to throw a wicked curveball and get some creepy punk who rides a motorcycle and hustles adults at air hockey as your clean-up hitter and center fielder.

Why am I remembering Kelly Leake playing LF?

[subnuclear]

Why am I remembering Kelly Leake playing LF?

I can't remember either, but it sounded good.

[Ty in Tampa]

Why am I remembering Kelly Leake playing LF? the entire outfield?

[Astroholic]

Black kid who took off his clothes and hid in the tree played center.

[Andyzipp]

Why am I remembering Kelly Leake playing LF?

Pretty sure Amhad played center.

[Andyzipp]

And while we're at it, Leek played Left and Lupus played right.

[subnuclear]

Pretty sure Amhad played center.

My apologies to Amhad then.

[Andyzipp]

Just in case anyone was wondering...

#11, Amanda Whurlitzer - 1
#5, Mike Engleberg - 2
#2, Toby Whitewood- 3
#6, Jose Aguilar - 4
#8, Jimmy Feldman - 5
#12, Tanner Boyle - 6
#3, Kelly Leak - 7
#44, Ahmad Abdul Rahim - 8
#4, Timmy Lupus/#7, Miguel Aguilar - 9

#10, Rudy Stein - RP
#9, Alfred Ogilvie - Bench/Stats
#1, Regi Tower - Bench

Morris Buttermaker, Mgr.

[Rebel Jew]

Just in case anyone was wondering...

#11, Amanda Whurlitzer - 1
#5, Mike Engleberg - 2
#2, Toby Whitewood- 3
#6, Jose Aguilar - 4
#8, Jimmy Feldman - 5
#12, Tanner Boyle - 6
#3, Kelly Leak - 7
#44, Ahmad Abdul Rahim - 8
#4, Timmy Lupus/#7, Miguel Aguilar - 9

#10, Rudy Stein - RP
#9, Alfred Ogilvie - Bench/Stats
#1, Regi Tower - Bench

Morris Buttermaker, Mgr.

i never understood why buttermaker didn't switch kelly leak over to pitcher when amanda got a dead arm in the championship game.  he must have at least had a good fastball or something.  instead we went to stein???  but i guess any manager that hits kelly leak 7th and ahmad 8th has a lot to question about him (not to mention a manager who gets drunk in the dugout during the game)

[Andyzipp]

i never understood why buttermaker didn't switch kelly leak over to pitcher when amanda got a dead arm in the championship game.  he must have at least had a good fastball or something.  instead we went to stein???  but i guess any manager that hits kelly leak 7th and ahmad 8th has a lot to question about him (not to mention a manager who gets drunk in the dugout during the game)

Because the point was that Buttermaker realized that he was becoming just like (the chararcter that Vic Morrow played) after he watched (the character that Vic Morrow played) hit Joey after Joey dotted Engleberg in the noggin.

He emptied the bench because the whole point of Little League is having fun playing baseball, not about parents satisfying their egos.

And those are defensive positions.

I'd have to actually think about the batting order before I could come up with it.

If it helps, I'm about 90% sure that Leak batted 3rd.

[MusicMan]

If it helps, I'm about 90% sure that Leak batted 3rd.

Except for Breaking Training in which he apparently hit 3rd, 6th, and 8th.

[94CougarGrad]

My son pitched tonight.  He fanned 12 in 4 2/3 allowing 5 base runners.  He reached his pitch limit and the next kid walked two batters to load the bases.  I bring in a kid who has never pitched in a game and he K's the next hitter.  It was  a 0-0 game going into the bottom of the 5th.  We scored 1 when their pitcher reached his pitch count. 

So all we need is 3 outs. 

10 walks, 2 HBP, 2 E3's,one double later and 3 pitchers later, we are down 13-1 going into the bottom of the 6th.  We lose 13-2. 

I had used 3 other pitchers on Tuesday and two of those had exceed pitch counts to pitch in tonight's game.  The 3rd had walked two batters on 8 pitches on Tuesday.  I called him in to close out the game tonight. 

As a coach I was at a loss.  As a dad, I was super proud.  My son never gave any indication of frustration as the game slowly walked away.  He stayed positive.  And then after the game at 10:15 local time, he looked at me and said "Dad, I need to run because I pitched"  He did two laps by himself while the parks & rec guys waited to turn out the lights. 

What character. Kudos to him and his momma and daddy for raisin' such a good boy. You all deserve extra snow cones from the concession stand.

[Houston]

Teach an eleven-year old girl how to throw a wicked curveball and get some creepy punk who rides a motorcycle and hustles adults at air hockey as your clean-up hitter and center fielder.

Did you know that that same creepy punk is now playing Freddy Krueger in the latest "Nightmare on Elm Street" movie? Seriously. He's grown up and he's now a slasher, instead of a power hitter.

[Mr. Happy]

Pitch counts???!!! To paraphrase Fredia: aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

[BUWebguy]

Did you know that that same creepy punk is now playing Freddy Krueger in the latest "Nightmare on Elm Street" movie? Seriously. He's grown up and he's now a slasher, instead of a power hitter.

Wow -- I didn't believe you, but sure enough:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0355097/

[OregonStrosFan]

Wow -- I didn't believe you, but sure enough:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0355097/

The kid that played Kelly Leak is the same person that plays Guerrero on Human Target.  Never, ever, would have guessed that.

[Noe]

The kid that played Kelly Leak is the same person that plays Guerrero on Human Target.  Never, ever, would have guessed that.

Same guy in Watchmen (re: "Rorschach")

I'm not locked in here with you... YOU'RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME!

[Rebel Jew]

Because the point was that Buttermaker realized that he was becoming just like (the chararcter that Vic Morrow played) after he watched (the character that Vic Morrow played) hit Joey after Joey dotted Engleberg in the noggin.

He emptied the bench because the whole point of Little League is having fun playing baseball, not about parents satisfying their egos.

yeah, except he never would have needed to yell at amanda and burn her arm out if he'd just put kelly in at pitcher as soon as she started getting fatigued.  this should have been an automatic decision

[Duman]

Last night my son pitched.  Here is his line:  4 IP, 0 Runs, 0 Hits, 11 K, 1 BB, 2 HBP, 14 batters faced (one got caught stealing).  A no hitter with no balls put in fair territory.  We won via mercy rule in 4 innings.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Last night my son pitched.  Here is his line:  4 IP, 0 Runs, 0 Hits, 11 K, 1 BB, 2 HBP, 14 batters faced (one got caught stealing).  A no hitter with no balls put in fair territory.  We won via mercy rule in 4 innings.

Let us know when Boras comes calling.

[Houston]

My son (who is now 12) has been asking to pitch for two years and I've given him a try here and there and with very spotty success. He throws hard, but has always been wild outside because he's so afraid of hitting someone. Being the coach, I didn't want people saying I was only allowing him to pitch because he's my kid, so he went four weeks without throwing a single pitch this season.

The other day I decided to give him another chance. In one inning, he struck out 3 and walked none.

He has now earned his next pitching assignment and I don't think either of us will have to worry about what sour parents might say.

[toddthebod]

I had used 3 other pitchers on Tuesday and two of those had exceed pitch counts to pitch in tonight's game.  The 3rd had walked two batters on 8 pitches on Tuesday.  I called him in to close out the game tonight. 

The team that I coach is having a very good season 7-2-2.  This week, we had/have games Sunday, Monday, and Thursday.  Pitch counts are definitely an issue this week.  And the playoffs start this coming Sunday so I really have manage pitch count in the Thursday game.

Last night, I had our No. 2 pitcher on the mound and it took him 40 pitches to get through the first inning (85 is the pitch limit).  He walked the first three batters.  If we pitched him more than 41 pitches, we couldn't use him as a catcher -- which we needed to do.  I had hoped to get him for at least 3 innings but ended up pulling him after the first.  Our No. 4 pitcher came in, promptly hit 2 of the first 3 batters and it took him 35 pitches to get through the second inning.  And I am thinking at this point that we are down 4 runs and are totally screwed.  Time to write this one off and give some of our non-pitchers a chance to throw the ball.  And then, lo and behold, the No. 4 pitcher manages to get through the rest of the game -- except for the last batter, when he finally hit his pitch count.  And we won the game in the bottom of the 6th when our No. 2 pitcher walked and then promptly stole second, third, and home.   

Our No. 4 pitcher saved the staff and the team.  We're now set up to let our 1-3 pitchers go 2 innings each on Thursday and we will be able to use them again in the playoffs.

[HudsonHawk]

My son (who is now 12) has been asking to pitch for two years and I've given him a try here and there and with very spotty success. He throws hard, but has always been wild outside because he's so afraid of hitting someone. Being the coach, I didn't want people saying I was only allowing him to pitch because he's my kid, so he went four weeks without throwing a single pitch this season.

The other day I decided to give him another chance. In one inning, he struck out 3 and walked none.

He has now earned his next pitching assignment and I don't think either of us will have to worry about what sour parents might say.

Funny story about my own pitching experience.  When I was 12, playing as a "13-year old", (first season with a 60-ft mound, 90-ft bases etc) my dad coached our team, and we simply were not very competitive.  We were pretty much all "13-year olds" playing against 14 and 15 year olds.  Anyway, I had always been a catcher, but I had trouble adjusting to the 128 ft distance from home to 2B.  My arm was pretty weak for that large of a field.  However, while I didn't throw very hard, I could pretty much throw the ball where ever I wanted, so my dad decided one day to let me pitch.  He, of course, didn't tell me this until about 20 minutes before the game started, so that I didn't get too worked up about it.  As we go out to take the field for the first inning, he tells another kid to go down to the bullpen and get ready.  This is before I ever threw a pitch.  Way to send me out with confidence, Dad.  I ended up pitching a complete game, and we won, one of our few wins that year.

[Guinness]

first season with a 60-ft mound, 90-ft bases  

Man you guys must've been tall...

[strosrays]

Funny story about my own pitching experience.  When I was 12, playing as a "13-year old", (first season with a 60-ft mound, 90-ft bases etc) my dad coached our team, and we simply were not very competitive.  We were pretty much all "13-year olds" playing against 14 and 15 year olds.  Anyway, I had always been a catcher, but I had trouble adjusting to the 128 ft distance from home to 2B.  My arm was pretty weak for that large of a field.  However, while I didn't throw very hard, I could pretty much throw the ball where ever I wanted, so my dad decided one day to let me pitch.  He, of course, didn't tell me this until about 20 minutes before the game started, so that I didn't get too worked up about it.  As we go out to take the field for the first inning, he tells another kid to go down to the bullpen and get ready.  This is before I ever threw a pitch.  Way to send me out with confidence, Dad.  I ended up pitching a complete game, and we won, one of our few wins that year.

I never could pitch.  Never, ever.

I had a really good arm, I guess - I caught, too, until I fucked up my knee playing football in HS; after that I was a 3B, and I would rocket my throws across the infield.  So, periodically, some coach's interest would be piqued and he would put me out on the mound, just to see.

Even if it was just practice, something about standing out on the mound completely fucked with my mind, and my throwing.  I never could get the ball consistently down, or anywhere else I wanted it to go.  I have a lot of respect for anyone, from Little League to MLB, who can consistently do that.  It was just beyond me.

[Duman]

Tonight my son's all star team is playing for the district 9-10 championship.  They are playing the other all star team from our town/county.  Each has only one loss and it is to the other side.  I have low expectations for tonight.  I have two pitchers and 5 throwers.  Both my pitchers are out.  So my throwers are going to have to work some magic tonight.  I know we won't win on coaching, I know the coach very well.  He is just a guy who pretends to know baseball on some Astros fan chat site.

[JimR]

Tonight my son's all star team is playing for the district 9-10 championship.  They are playing the other all star team from our town/county.  Each has only one loss and it is to the other side.  I have low expectations for tonight.  I have two pitchers and 5 throwers.  Both my pitchers are out.  So my throwers are going to have to work some magic tonight.  I know we won't win on coaching, I know the coach very well.  He is just a guy who pretends to know baseball on some Astros fan chat site.

good luck!

[BudGirl]

Tonight my son's all star team is playing for the district 9-10 championship.  They are playing the other all star team from our town/county.  Each has only one loss and it is to the other side.  I have low expectations for tonight.  I have two pitchers and 5 throwers.  Both my pitchers are out.  So my throwers are going to have to work some magic tonight.  I know we won't win on coaching, I know the coach very well.  He is just a guy who pretends to know baseball on some Astros fan chat site.

I'm sure they'll do great.

[Bench]

Tonight my son's all star team is playing for the district 9-10 championship.  They are playing the other all star team from our town/county.  Each has only one loss and it is to the other side.  I have low expectations for tonight.  I have two pitchers and 5 throwers.  Both my pitchers are out.  So my throwers are going to have to work some magic tonight.  I know we won't win on coaching, I know the coach very well.  He is just a guy who pretends to know baseball on some Astros fan chat site.

I'm sure they'll have fun.  Just be sure to try to have some yourself as well.

[Alkie]

I know we won't win on coaching, I know the coach very well.  He is just a guy who pretends to know baseball on some Astros fan chat site.

Is that right?   Anyone we know?   

[BizidyDizidy]

Is that right?   Anyone we know?   

Jack Sutherford.

[Alkie]

Jack Sutherford.

Writer, author, educator, AND LL Coach?   Man oh man.   

I wish he'd post more often.

[JimR]

Writer, author, educator, AND LL Coach?   Man oh man.   

I wish he'd post more often.

and genius. do not forget genius.

[Alkie]

and genius. do not forget genius.

I thought that went without saying.   My apologies to the reader.

[MusicMan]

Writer, author, educator, AND LL Coach?   Man oh man.   

I wish he'd post more often.

He's busy writing his next great American novel.  Maybe he'll have to pay less to get this one published.

[JackAstro]

and genius. do not forget genius.

"And handsome," he thought to himself, aloud in his head. His chiseled features and deceptively strong upper body and torso seemed out of place in the gray, lifeless, not exciting classroom full of smartass kids who all think their too good to listen to him most of the time. But not Ashley and Vanessa he noticed. When he oh you know what fuck it I can't do this.

[Mr. Happy]

"And handsome," he thought to himself, aloud in his head. His chiseled features and deceptively strong upper body and torso seemed out of place in the gray, lifeless, not exciting classroom full of smartass kids who all think their too good to listen to him most of the time. But not Ashley and Vanessa he noticed. When he oh you know what fuck it I can't do this.

Have you been drinking again?

[Bench]

Have you been drinking again?

He hasn't been drinking enough.  It takes a lot to drown out that voice once Jack Sutherford thinks aloud in your head. 

[JackAstro]

Have you been drinking again?

It's after breakfast, isn't it? We can't all have your noble restraint, sir.

[strosrays]

It's after breakfast, isn't it? We can't all have your noble restraint, sir.

Combating Low OBP With Replacement-Level Little Leaguers by Jack Sutherford

Oh, and

"Jack Sutherford awoke from a dark slumber, to realize it was 6:45 am out. “Holey smokes!’ he thought, out loud. He had to hurry. For most folks, waking up at 6:45 on a weekday wasn’t reason to worry. They’d still have plenty of time to get ready and reach their boring, meaningless jobs on time or somewhat late but not too much so. Which, that didn’t matter anyway. But for Jack Sutherford, waking up at such a late time was nothing more than a major tragedy. For you see, Jack Sutherford wasn’t just any body, and his job was not just a boring, meaningless job. Jack Sutherford, standing there now, looking coolly out his window at the dawn rising over the sparkling dirty waters of Tranquility Bay, the filtered sunlight coming in and glinting off of the dark, chiseled visage of his hirsute naked chest, Jack Sutherford was something like a New American Hero. Jack Sutherford, you see, was a teacher; a teacher, through and through, and now, in the dawn’s early light, he quickly prepared himself for his daily task, his cross to bear so to speak, in fact that is a pretty apt metaphor, because, like Jesus before him, Jack went out each day, armed only with his wits and his hirsute, tanned and chiseled chest, and he COMBATED IGNORANCE."

‘I love you,’ said the rain
Kissing the ground with her raindrop kisses
Embracing him with her dark, heavy, pendulous, sagging clouds
Caressing him here and there with her winds that she blew from her tiny mouth
Somewhere, a volcano was erupting with the force of a ten thousand megaton atom bomb. . . "

[MRaup]

strosrays, you just boggle my mind sometimes. Damn, that was awesome.

[JackAstro]

Mr. Sutherford's poetry is at once understated and aggressive. A cacophony of nakedly hirsute something something. It utterly destroys me, and yet I am better for it. Thank you, 'Strosrays.

[MusicMan]

We are all better for having been reminded to use "hirsute" on a regular basis.

[S.P. Rodriguez]

Mr. 3% could have simplified it for the ignorant masses by simply stating "Magnum P.I. like chest".  Dude, get a friggin' editor. 

[austro]

Mr. 3% could have simplified it for the ignorant masses by simply stating "Magnum P.I. like chest".  Dude, get a friggin' editor. 

When you have to pay the publishing costs yourself you can't also afford an editor.

[Craig]

When you have to pay the publishing costs yourself you can't also afford an editor.

Especially on an English teacher's salary.

[Ebby Calvin]

"I love you," said the rain.

The entire post is pure genius, but that line just cost you a new keyboard, strosrays.  Inspiring work.

[Duman]

Tonight my son's all star team is playing for the district 9-10 championship.  They are playing the other all star team from our town/county.  Each has only one loss and it is to the other side.  I have low expectations for tonight.  I have two pitchers and 5 throwers.  Both my pitchers are out.  So my throwers are going to have to work some magic tonight.  I know we won't win on coaching, I know the coach very well.  He is just a guy who pretends to know baseball on some Astros fan chat site.

The kids did it! They played a great game.  The two 9 year olds on the team pitched a great game.  The bottom half of the line up came through for the winning run.  We won 4-3.  Proud of those boys!  Unfortunately, 5 of the 11 boys can't go to state due to a conflict cause when the state Little League changed the date of state from what had been previously announced.  It also means that I have to hand over the reigns to a new coach as well.  It was a fun week.

[JimR]

congrats!

[MikeyBoy]

Duman, congrats to you and your boys!

strosrays, that was a great post.

[JaneDoe]

The kids did it! They played a great game.  The two 9 year olds on the team pitched a great game.  The bottom half of the line up came through for the winning run.  We won 4-3.  Proud of those boys!  Unfortunately, 5 of the 11 boys can't go to state due to a conflict cause when the state Little League changed the date of state from what had been previously announced.  It also means that I have to hand over the reigns to a new coach as well.  It was a fun week.

Congratulations!!

[Mr. Happy]

Congrats! StrosRays, you are my hero.

[Limey]

The kids did it! They played a great game.  The two 9 year olds on the team pitched a great game.  The bottom half of the line up came through for the winning run.  We won 4-3.  Proud of those boys!  Unfortunately, 5 of the 11 boys can't go to state due to a conflict cause when the state Little League changed the date of state from what had been previously announced.  It also means that I have to hand over the reigns to a new coach as well.  It was a fun week.

You Du Man!

[JackAstro]

The kids did it! They played a great game.  The two 9 year olds on the team pitched a great game.  The bottom half of the line up came through for the winning run.  We won 4-3.  Proud of those boys!  Unfortunately, 5 of the 11 boys can't go to state due to a conflict cause when the state Little League changed the date of state from what had been previously announced.  It also means that I have to hand over the reigns to a new coach as well.  It was a fun week.

Congrats, and quit threadjacking.

[Alkie]

Congrats, and quit threadjacking.

Seriously.  I was JUST about to get off and then THREADKILLER came in and ruined it.

Someone, I won't say who, owes me some beautiful self-promoted prose.