As well as being a poster over here at SnS, I often use the city-data.com forums for information on NYC and other places we might be visiting.
For those of you not familiar with it, it's just like any BBS that has limited enforcement of useless rules and an infinite number of social retards with opinions loosely related to the original topic. One of the cool things about SnS, of course, is that we social retards are usually also here to crack wise and entertain (even if only to a select group of people). The city-data site has none of that. Humor is forbidden and even swearing is not allowed in any sense (to these people, fart is the f-word).
I've always liked the fact that there is a sense of group responsibility here to keep people in line; to not let some asshat just run wild and try to convince people of utter nonsense.
But for those that may decide to go frequent the other, lesser BBS's on the net, I offer this thread template to save you some time.
ORIGINAL POST:
I have a question. I have a specific situation and here are the facts. Fact 1 is this. Fact 2 is that. Fact 3 is absolutely this. These facts will not change and I need help from you locals based on these specific facts to make a family decision on R.
POSTER#2:
I am vaguely familiar with your situation, but am an expert in something else entirely. Can I interest you in some unrelated knowledge on K?
POSTER#3:
I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. But one of the words in Fact 2 reminds me of something completely unrelated to what you are talking about. Only <morons/idiots/Aggies/Longhorns/homos> would enjoy what I'm referring to. I am incapable of having a two sided conversation. Here is another thought about religion or politics you did not ask for. Also, brown people make poor decisions.
POSTER#4:
I am an expert on something totally unrelated, X. Here is a strong opinion about that. Validate my decision to become an expert in this unrelated field and praise me!
ORIGINAL POSTER:
My apologies for trying to steer this back in the direction of my original post. We weren't talking about X or K, we were talking about R, which is what I was asking about. Does anyone here with any experience with R have any useful information which I can use to form a decision which will impact my family, possibly for the rest of our lives?
POSTER#3:
I already explained, I have no knowledge of what you are referring to. I do not have much in the way of confidence in the real world and not many people appreciate the fact that I have what are considered odd opinions because I am a contrarian by nature. Also, my father left my mom and us kids when I was young and I have a need to feel like an authority figure on something, whether you asked about it or not. Here is a post with no content whatsoever, but it does help my post count which I use to prove my own worth and usefulness.
POSTER#5:
To the original poster, yes, I have experience with R and understand exactly what you mean. I also had Fact 1, Fact 2, and Fact 3 as relevant factors when I made the exact same decision. Feel free to ignore the other posters who not only do not understand you, but who are low class <morons/Aggies/Longhorns> who somehow got a hold of a computer. My rant would be somewhat on topic and useful if I didn't just go from classy to oddly insecure in the matter of a few lines. I might also be in my early 20s or possibly a liar. I also do not like brown people.
POSTER #6:
I am the voice of reason. I will post a very useful answer for the original poster and even offer important follow up questions that, if properly answered, would allow me to help the original poster make a thoughtful decision. I look forward to helping you with your decision. I will shut down my computer for the next 2 years and check back in to the forum at that time to see how you answered my follow up questions.
ORIGINAL POSTER:
Thank you so much, POSTER#6, here are the answers to your questions needed to give me the information I need to make a decision on R. I will begin the hope that you will log on in the next 7 days before a decision needs to be made.
POSTER#7:
I am a teenager. My father does something that I think is similar to R. Here is a completely uninformed, poorly based answer for the original poster. Take me seriously or I will whine.
POSTER#5:
Poster #7 is a child and not to be taken seriously. Remember what I said earlier about being useful? I actually hate R, which is why I'm qualified to give advice on it.
POSTER#8:
I hate R as well. I can't believe anyone would be stupid enough to choose R. Keep in mind that I chose R myself once and am currently living with those consequences, but I hate myself and therefore will project my own self hate on you for considering the exact same decision I made in the past.
POSTER#9;
Oh good, here comes Poster#8 to ruin another thread that isn't about him. Why don't you go back to the decision you made before you chose R? Everyone would be happier.
MODERATOR:
I am a person of limited success in real life. Because my parents were overbearing and didn't let me date until college (which itself is a lie I tell myself to cover the fact that no one ever found me attractive physically or found my opinions strong enough to take seriously), I find anonymous online forums to be useful in giving myself the satisfaction (that comes with an unpaid position that I volunteered for) of having complete control over other people, even if only in a limited fashion. I will institute meaningless rules that people must follow. Anything deemed offensive to the simplest minded puritan will be deleted and all useful links to other sites that the original poster could use will be cut in order to keep the literally impossible chance that someone would confuse this BBS as a sub-division of that linked site in order. If POSTER#9 can't find something constructive to say about POSTER#8, POSTER#9 will be banned despite the fact that POSTER#8 is the real problem here.
POSTER#8:
Be quiet, POSTER#9. As usual, you are wrong. I hate R with all my might and will make zero attempt to see why anyone else would like it. I pout like a 6 year old and spend my time on an anonymous forum giving people my baseless negative opinions. Keep in mind that I dislike anything that doesn't work instantly in my favor and have a lifetime of these decisions which I immediately hate.
POSTER#10:
USEFUL LINK TO A SITE WITH A DIRECT ANSWER FOR ORIGINAL POSTER CUT BY MOD FOR NO GOOD REASON.
ORIGINAL POSTER, DAYS LATER:
Thanks to everyone for attempting to help me, but mostly proving that you have no social skills whatsoever and are just looking for a place to appear to be in control of your life, an expert on any subject, or to validate your own poor decisions. I wish Poster#6 had returned to the forum because that was clearly the only person who could help me. Thank you to the four people who private messaged me with offers to have sex with me should I ever be in your area, under the guise of helping me with my decision on R.
POSTER#8:
I'll have sex with you, if that's what you're looking for.
POSTER#11:
ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS POST THAT HAS BEEN CUT BY MODERATOR BECAUSE IT INCLUDED THE PHRASE "THREW UP"
POSTER#6, 13 MONTHS LATER:
If the original poster is still there, I have returned. In light of your answers, R would be a horrific idea for you because Fact 2 will prove to be the complete opposite of what R can offer you. My apologies for disappearing for so long. I sincerely hope you did not use my previous advice and choose R or you are almost certainly living in misery.
POSTER#8:
Typical. This is why I hate R. I can't wait to move back to S, which I left because I hated it. People in R are just so unreliable and unfriendly.
MODERATOR:
This thread is locked because it requires me to do my job without the ability to make myself feel like I'm in control of something. Locking it makes it clear to everyone that I am, in fact, in charge. Oh my goodness! Some boring prime time drama that I use to define my life is on and my cats need to be fed.
