Smoltz Wins 2009 NL CY

[Alkie]

Signs with Cards.   

I predict:

• 9-0, 0.58.
• Hits .583, slugs 2.230.
• Brings a Jewish woman to orgasm.

[GreatBagwellsBeard]

Signs with Cards.   

I predict:

• 9-0, 0.58.
• Hits .583, slugs 2.230.
• Brings a Jewish woman to orgasm.

Now you're just stretching the bonds of credibility.

[homer]

Now you're just stretching the bonds of credibility.

No. To stretch credibility he would have said 'tags a Jewish chick in the can'.

[Alkie]

No. To stretch credibility he would have said 'tags a Jewish chick in the can'.

I don't even know what that means.  I understand all the English words you are using.   But in that order, I'm trying to create a mental image and cannot. 

[JackAstro]

I don't even know what that means.  I understand all the English words you are using.   But in that order, I'm trying to create a mental image and cannot. 

...says the man who has never tagged anyone in the can.

[Gizzmonic]

...says the man who has never tagged anyone in the can.

Is that like freeze tag, or more like cartoon tag?

[JackAstro]

Is that like freeze tag, or more like cartoon tag?

Here, this is the perfect primer for you. If you have any follow-up questions, Yahoo answers is probably your best bet.

[Gizzmonic]

Here, this is the perfect primer for you. If you have any follow-up questions, Yahoo answers is probably your best bet.

Eww...do you take some kind of perverted pleasure from sullying things I enjoy?  Or, wait, I guess that was whoever wrote this dreck.  I don't think I can ever read Avengers in the same way again.

[Alkie]

...says the man who has never tagged anyone in the can.

Not a Jew, no.

[JackAstro]

Not a Jew, no.

[totallyuncalledfor] Some are saying that Chuck has. [/totallyuncalledfor]

[JimR]

[totallyuncalledfor] Some are saying that Chuck has. [/totallyuncalledfor]

if not, it is the only thing he has not done.

[Limey]

Eww...do you take some kind of perverted pleasure from sullying things I enjoy?  Or, wait, I guess that was whoever wrote this dreck.  I don't think I can ever read Avengers in the same way again.

Clearly, you are unaware that Marvel put Tim Gunn into the Iron Man suit.  I'm not kidding.

Shark...jumped.

[Gizzmonic]

Clearly, you are unaware that Marvel put Tim Gunn into the Iron Man suit.  I'm not kidding.

Shark...jumped.

Does he ride Tony's bologna pony?

[Guinness]

Clearly, you are unaware that Marvel put Tim Gunn into the Iron Man suit.  I'm not kidding.

I have no idea what this means, and once I looked up who Tim Gunn was, I have even less idea.  I think I'm old now, so if everyone would just get off my lawn that would be a good thing.  Thanks.

[Alkie]

[totallyuncalledfor] Some are saying that Chuck has. [/totallyuncalledfor]

Hey!  I'm not actually Jewish anymore.

Oh, you meant.......ha ha!

Boy is my face red.  (softball.  lobbed.)

[austro]

Clearly, you are unaware that Marvel put Tim Gunn into the Iron Man suit.  I'm not kidding.

So the new season of Project Runway will have the designers updating superhero costumes?

[strosrays]

I have no idea what this means, and once I looked up who Tim Gunn was, I have even less idea.  I think I'm old now, so if everyone would just get off my lawn that would be a good thing.  Thanks.

Here.

Interdimensional Technology

Android and Angel

The Twelfth Planet and The Jesus Android

Pretty much explains everything, I believe.

[Matt]

Here, this is the perfect primer for you. If you have any follow-up questions, Yahoo answers is probably your best bet.

The dinosaur rape story is astounding.

[Gizzmonic]

The dinosaur rape story is astounding.

If by "astounding" you mean "makes me want to spend a week scrubbing myself off in the shower, and then burn every DC comic I have," then yes, it is astounding.

[chuck]

[totallyuncalledfor] Some are saying that Chuck has. [/totallyuncalledfor]

Can we go back to talking about Lidge, please? Thank you.

[Texifornia]

Here.

Interdimensional Technology

Android and Angel

The Twelfth Planet and The Jesus Android

Pretty much explains everything, I believe.

I almost didn't click on those links because I thought it might be crazy, silly, waste of time....but I'm sure glad I did because NOW I see so much more clearly. I didn't know about the giant cube in the manufactured planet. Before, I couldn't figure out how the Jesus android came over. Now that I know, it seems so obvious: Jesus android inside the giant cube inside the manufactured planet...what a divine idea!

[Alkie]

Can we go back to talking about Lidge, please? Thank you.

I'm tired of talking about Lidge. 

[chuck]

I'm tired of talking about Lidge. 

Don't be a dick.

[Alkie]

Don't be a dick.

I deleted the line about only gay, left handed dorks talking about Lidge.  I thought I was being nice.   

See anything good on Endor today; or where ever you are?

[chuck]

I deleted the line about only gay, left handed dorks talking about Lidge.  I thought I was being nice.   

See anything good on Endor today; or where ever you are?

You know, I'm having my kitchen redone because the cabinets are bullshit and the counter top sucks. I'm having a local guy install hand made cedar cabinets. I'm going to keep a natural look with only a tiny bit of varnish. I'm going to use a teak or nispero counter top on the side of the kitchen that has a bar that communicates with the living and dining room and I'm going to use granite on the side with the sink and the stove and so on. A friend of mine and I drove down to Bejuco today to check out granite at a shop down there. It's run by a gringo who also imports golf carts. Oddly enough he buys the carts from a wholesaler in Houston. Anyway, I immediately found a type that I like a lot. I think it'll work great with the cabinets and I have a plan for a tile backsplash. I'm pretty excited about this. I've wanted to do it for several years but inertia and overpowering laziness have prevailed. Oh! Then we accidentally stumbled into a roadside hammock store, the sort of place I would never ordinarily go into, and what do you know, they had some excellent stuff in there. They have some patio lounge furniture that's gooder'n hell. I think it might very well solve my current patio furniture issue.

I'd forgotten to eat so I had four chicken empanadas from the bakery at El Rey, the supermarket in Coronado. It's pretty gringo in there and I was surprised to find that they do not stock litter boxes. I cannot find a litter box anywhere, or anything that might serve as one. The cardboard box that I'm now using, or more accurately the damn cat in the front bedroom is now using is not going to last until November. The kittens all have their eyes open, by the way. It's funny, the last one born, a female and the smallest by a good margin, was the first with her eyes open and is by far the best walker so far, regularly venturing out from under the bed, teetering around, occasionally falling over sideways like a Russian on payday.

[Taras Bulba]

You know, I'm having my kitchen redone because the cabinets are bullshit and the counter top sucks. I'm having a local guy install hand made cedar cabinets. I'm going to keep a natural look with only a tiny bit of varnish. I'm going to use a teak or nispero counter top on the side of the kitchen that has a bar that communicates with the living and dining room and I'm going to use granite on the side with the sink and the stove and so on. A friend of mine and I drove down to Bejuco today to check out granite at a shop down there. It's run by a gringo who also imports golf carts. Oddly enough he buys the carts from a wholesaler in Houston. Anyway, I immediately found a type that I like a lot. I think it'll work great with the cabinets and I have a plan for a tile backsplash. I'm pretty excited about this. I've wanted to do it for several years but inertia and overpowering laziness have prevailed. Oh! Then we accidentally stumbled into a roadside hammock store, the sort of place I would never ordinarily go into, and what do you know, they had some excellent stuff in there. They have some patio lounge furniture that's gooder'n hell. I think it might very well solve my current patio furniture issue.

I'd forgotten to eat so I had four chicken empanadas from the bakery at El Rey, the supermarket in Coronado. It's pretty gringo in there and I was surprised to find that they do not stock litter boxes. I cannot find a litter box anywhere, or anything that might serve as one. The cardboard box that I'm now using, or more accurately the damn cat in the front bedroom is now using is not going to last until November. The kittens all have their eyes open, by the way. It's funny, the last one born, a female and the smallest by a good margin, was the first with her eyes open and is by far the best walker so far, regularly venturing out from under the bed, teetering around, occasionally falling over sideways like a Russian on payday.

It's seldom you'll find a thread on SnS that doesn't end up talking about pussy.

[BudGirl]

You know, I'm having my kitchen redone because the cabinets are bullshit and the counter top sucks. I'm having a local guy install hand made cedar cabinets. I'm going to keep a natural look with only a tiny bit of varnish. I'm going to use a teak or nispero counter top on the side of the kitchen that has a bar that communicates with the living and dining room and I'm going to use granite on the side with the sink and the stove and so on. A friend of mine and I drove down to Bejuco today to check out granite at a shop down there. It's run by a gringo who also imports golf carts. Oddly enough he buys the carts from a wholesaler in Houston. Anyway, I immediately found a type that I like a lot. I think it'll work great with the cabinets and I have a plan for a tile backsplash. I'm pretty excited about this. I've wanted to do it for several years but inertia and overpowering laziness have prevailed. Oh! Then we accidentally stumbled into a roadside hammock store, the sort of place I would never ordinarily go into, and what do you know, they had some excellent stuff in there. They have some patio lounge furniture that's gooder'n hell. I think it might very well solve my current patio furniture issue.

I'd forgotten to eat so I had four chicken empanadas from the bakery at El Rey, the supermarket in Coronado. It's pretty gringo in there and I was surprised to find that they do not stock litter boxes. I cannot find a litter box anywhere, or anything that might serve as one. The cardboard box that I'm now using, or more accurately the damn cat in the front bedroom is now using is not going to last until November. The kittens all have their eyes open, by the way. It's funny, the last one born, a female and the smallest by a good margin, was the first with her eyes open and is by far the best walker so far, regularly venturing out from under the bed, teetering around, occasionally falling over sideways like a Russian on payday.

Good luck on the kitchen renovations.

For the kitties.  Does Amazon ship anywhere?

[toddthebod]

We redid our kitchen a couple of years ago.  The granite still looks awesome as does the backsplash.  If you are thinking about re-doing the floor, I will make one suggestion -- don't use cork floors.  We did because I cook a lot and I understood that the softer cork would be better for my back.  The cork has held up extremely poorly. 

[chuck]

BG, thanks. The self-scooping kind sounds great. I'm sure that there's a pet store somewhere in the city catering to people with more money than sense that'll have items like that. God knows what they might cost. At this point I'd make do with a rectangular plastic tub of just about any depth.

Todd, I have tile floors and have no plan to alter them. The tile is consistent throughout the house and although I don't exactly love it replacing it would be a massive undertaking and a huge and mostly needless headache. I don't know what your storage situation is but if cooking irritated my back I would think seriously about heading out to a restaurant supply store and buying one of those thick, spongy mats that kitchens and bars use and throw it down on the floor when I cook.

[BizidyDizidy]

What do you do in Panama?

[Alkie]

What do you do in Panama?

Please don't ask him this.

[Ty in Tampa]

Please don't ask him this.

I asked him and I still don't think I know.

[Noe]

What do you do in Panama?

Oh-oh.

[BudGirl]

What do you do in Panama?

Can I answer this?

[Duke]

We redid our kitchen a couple of years ago.  The granite still looks awesome as does the backsplash.  If you are thinking about re-doing the floor, I will make one suggestion -- don't use cork floors.  We did because I cook a lot and I understood that the softer cork would be better for my back.  The cork has held up extremely poorly. 

I think any kind of wood product installed in an area that gets wet and has a tendency to have stuff dropped on it is a bad idea.  I put bamboo down a couple of years ago in my kitchen and it didn't hold up either. 

[chuck]

What do you do in Panama?

I assume you're asking about work. My work is portable and I find that I can be largely effective in Panama with a decent internet connection and a voip line. I do two things day to day. I have a telco agency. We sell business grade voice and data, private lines, ethernet, etc. I don't do a lot of new sales any more although I'm beginning to want to again. I have a handful of agents that do sell for me with varying degrees of success. I can manage the business effectively from but I'd really rather not make sales calls over a voip line of unpredictable quality. I can, though, keep up with what's going on in that world by dialing in to the innumerous training calls and so on.

I'm also a partner in what I guess I can call a technology consultancy. We sort of fell into building websites using content management modules and have been involved in some pretty sizable projects. Over time we've hit upon a couple of areas of particular specialty where we believe we really differentiate ourselves with our work, and we've been concentrating on those areas. Again, I can help manage ongoing projects very effectively from here but I'm hesitant to seek new business over a voip line that may or may not be delivering my speech in an audible manner.

So there you have it. I try to play nine holes in the afternoon weather permitting. In the evenings I watch Astros games over the internets and drink Atlas beer and grill huge langostinos in the back yard. That's about it.

[Alkie]

Wow.

I usually just tell people I sell heroin to kids.   It's shorter, easier to understand, and usually satisfies people more than the truth.  You might try it.

[Ty in Tampa]

"I also love looong walks on the beach and kittens."

[BudGirl]

"I also love looong walks on the beach and kittens."

and what would be wrong with that?

[BizidyDizidy]

Wow.

I usually just tell people I sell heroin to kids.   It's shorter, easier to understand, and usually satisfies people more than the truth.  You might try it.

That's what I took away from it anyways.

[chuck]

"I also love looong walks on the beach and kittens."

I'll occasionally walk down the beach to Pipa's for a beer or two but usually I drive.

http://www.pipasbeach.com/content/view/3/3/lang,es/

"Hours of Operation: Tuesday - Sunday from 10:00a.m. until closing"

I don't know about the kittens yet. Get back to me in a month or so. I do know I'm getting that damn cat spayed.

[Gizzmonic]

and what would be wrong with that?

I'll take "Things Miss November would be likely to say" for $600, Alex.

[Ron Brand]

"As you know, we run a baby ring. Oh, it's really a very simple process. We keep two girls
at all times, who are impregnated by Channing, our rather fertile servant. We sell the babies
to lesbian couples and then we invest the money in various businesses around town. We own a few pornography shops, plus, we front money to a chain of heroin pushers in the inner city
elementary schools."

[Bench]

Everything I know about Panama I learned from Season 3 of Prison Break, which means every thing mentioned in the last few posts is entirely plausible.

[chuck]

"As you know, we run a baby ring. Oh, it's really a very simple process. We keep two girls
at all times, who are impregnated by Channing, our rather fertile servant. We sell the babies
to lesbian couples and then we invest the money in various businesses around town. We own a few pornography shops, plus, we front money to a chain of heroin pushers in the inner city
elementary schools."

Wow. Very well done.

Back when I lived in DC I was up in Baltimore driving around one afternoon for some reason. I was stopped at a light on North Howard preparing to cross over 83. I looked in my rear view mirror and who was sitting behind me in a tan Chrysler K-car? You bet, John Waters.

[Alkie]

That's what I took away from it anyways.

See?

I've even convinced my parents to tell their friends when they ask "so what DOES Alkie Jr do?"

[Ron Brand]

Wow. Very well done.

Back when I lived in DC I was up in Baltimore driving around one afternoon for some reason. I was stopped at a light on North Howard preparing to cross over 83. I looked in my rear view mirror and who was sitting behind me in a tan Chrysler K-car? You bet, John Waters.

I'm a big fan. A K-car is a perfect image.

[chuck]

I'm a big fan. A K-car is a perfect image.

I know. I couldn't possibly have made that part of it up. Perfect.

[Guinness]

I'll occasionally walk down the beach to Pipa's for a beer or two but usually I drive.

http://www.pipasbeach.com/content/view/3/3/lang,es/

"Hours of Operation: Tuesday - Sunday from 10:00a.m. until closing"

I don't know about the kittens yet. Get back to me in a month or so. I do know I'm getting that damn cat spayed.

We have a new kitten named Jack.  He's probably 2 months old (he was rescued).  Bundle of energy.  Too bad cats don't grow up to be kittens instead of the other way around.  Our other 2 older cats are used to him now, and have even gotten a bit more playful.  True story.

[das]

I assume you're asking about work. My work is portable and I find that I can be largely effective in Panama with a decent internet connection and a voip line. I do two things day to day. I have a telco agency. We sell business grade voice and data, private lines, ethernet, etc. I don't do a lot of new sales any more although I'm beginning to want to again. I have a handful of agents that do sell for me with varying degrees of success. I can manage the business effectively from but I'd really rather not make sales calls over a voip line of unpredictable quality. I can, though, keep up with what's going on in that world by dialing in to the innumerous training calls and so on.

I'm also a partner in what I guess I can call a technology consultancy. We sort of fell into building websites using content management modules and have been involved in some pretty sizable projects. Over time we've hit upon a couple of areas of particular specialty where we believe we really differentiate ourselves with our work, and we've been concentrating on those areas. Again, I can help manage ongoing projects very effectively from here but I'm hesitant to seek new business over a voip line that may or may not be delivering my speech in an audible manner.

So there you have it. I try to play nine holes in the afternoon weather permitting. In the evenings I watch Astros games over the internets and drink Atlas beer and grill huge langostinos in the back yard. That's about it.

It's Friday the 21st.  You are supposed to use Cover #386.2b on the third Friday of each month, comrade.

[Alkie]

Signs with Cards.   

I predict:

• 9-0, 0.58.
• Hits .583, slugs 2.230.
• Brings a Jewish woman to orgasm.

For fuck's sake.

1/9th of the way there.

Smoltz is now 1-0, 0.00, 9 K, 0 BB.   Hitting .333.   Shirley Goldstein has been fellated.