Author Topic: Reds at Astros - April 17 Your Friday Night Special (Read 18468 times)

Alkie · « **on:** April 17, 2009, 06:52:21 pm »

Alright, let's do this. I want to see Keppinger playing 2nd and hitting in at least 4 different spots in the lineup.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #1 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:01:21 pm »

You got the lineups?

Oh, and I am still stuck at this convention with no TV or radio so any PBP would be much appreciated. I wish MLB.TV wasn't so dang expensive.

Alkie · « **Reply #2 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:02:04 pm »

Missed it. Feel free. I noticed no Keppinger for some reason.

jonbloozy · « **Reply #3 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:03:55 pm »

Houston Astros
Bourn CF
Tejada SS
Berkman 1B
Lee LF
Pence RF
Blum 3B
Pudge C
Smith 2B
Oswalt P

Them
Taveras CF
Dickerson LF
Votto 1B
Phillips 2B
Bruce RF
Encarnacion 3B
Hernandez C
Gonzalez SS
Cueto P

jonbloozy · « **Reply #4 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:05:01 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:02:04 pm

I noticed no Keppinger for some reason.

Sore back, not sure if he'll play. Pravata's got it on the front page.

Alkie · « **Reply #5 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:05:39 pm »

REDS

Taveras CF
Dickerson LF
Votto 1B
Philips 2B
Bruce RF
Encarnacion 3B
Hernandez C
Gonzalez SS
Cueto P

ASTROS

Bourn CF
Tejada SS
Berkman 1B
Lee LF
Pence RF
Blum 3B
Pudge C
Smith 2B
Oswalt P

Alkie · « **Reply #6 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:06:07 pm »

Quote from: jonbloozy on April 17, 2009, 07:05:01 pm

Sore back, not sure if he'll play. Pravata's got it on the front page.

Irrelevant. He should be playing. Man can hit, even sore.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #7 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:06:32 pm »

Cincinnati

Taveras, CF
Dickerson, LF
Votto, 1B
Phillips, 2B
Bruce, RF
Encarnacion, 3B
Hernandez, C
Gonzalez, SS
Cueto, P

Houston

Bourn, CF
Tejada, SS
Berkman, 1B
Lee, LF
Pence, RF
Blum, 3B
Rodriguez, C
Smith, 2B
Oswalt, P

Screw that. We must have all been typing at the same time. Sorry.

Gameday

Alkie · « **Reply #8 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:07:07 pm »

Taveras pops out weakly to Pence.

I'm gonna need a beer.

Anyone?

JaneDoe · « **Reply #9 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:08:20 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:07:07 pm

Taveras pops out weakly to Pence.

I'm gonna need a beer.

Anyone?

Yes.

jonbloozy · « **Reply #10 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:08:27 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:07:07 pm

Taveras pops out weakly to Pence.

I'm gonna need a beer.

Anyone?

Arrogant Bastard here. Plus, I got a beer.

Alkie · « **Reply #11 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:08:51 pm »

Dickerson basehit up the middle.

1 out, man on 1st. Beer getting all warm and drunken.

Alkie · « **Reply #12 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:10:36 pm »

I'll be trying something new to go out with a bang.

I'm going to start with Lone Star out of a can. Yes, really. I missed this entire phase of my life while I was in college, so I'm going to do it tonight.

Hell, we'll call this throw back night. Alkie and LSOTC. Berkman homers twice and Roy shuts out the Reds.

Alkie · « **Reply #13 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:11:26 pm »

Dickerson thrown out by Pudge. Amazing that a 52 yr old Pudge can still throw better than Ausmus 3 years ago.

jonbloozy · « **Reply #14 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:11:39 pm »

Fudge!

Matt · « **Reply #15 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:11:53 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:10:36 pm

I'll be trying something new to go out with a bang.

I'm going to start with Lone Star out of a can. Yes, really. I missed this entire phase of my life while I was in college, so I'm going to do it tonight.

Hell, we'll call this throw back night. Alkie and LSOTC. Berkman homers twice and Roy shuts out the Reds.

Should I ready the beer bong?

Alkie · « **Reply #16 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:12:03 pm »

Cued to SS. 6-3. Inning over.

0-0, M1

Alkie · « **Reply #17 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:12:52 pm »

Quote from: Matt on April 17, 2009, 07:11:53 pm

Should I ready the beer bong?

I think you know the answer to that.

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #18 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:14:13 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:11:26 pm

Dickerson thrown out by Pudge. Amazing that a 52 yr old Pudge can still throw better than Ausmus 3 years ago.

He's played about a million times

Alkie · « **Reply #19 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:14:44 pm »

This commercial break brought to you by Alkie's House. Yes, Alkie's House. Are you looking for a ranch style house inside the loop that is completely remodeled inside and out but that won't break the bank? That's right, Alkie's House. It's cool, it satisfied both men and women, and no salesman will visit.

Put in an offer today.

Alkie · « **Reply #20 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:16:12 pm »

Bourn enjoys watching the game as much as I am. Strike 3 "looking."

1 down. None on.

jonbloozy · « **Reply #21 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:16:35 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:14:44 pm

Put in an offer today.

Does it meet the new EPA requirements for greenhouse gases?

Alkie · « **Reply #22 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:18:03 pm »

Quote from: jonbloozy on April 17, 2009, 07:16:35 pm

Does it meet the new EPA requirements for greenhouse gases?

I ask you, gentle stranger, can you smell my dogfarts from the comfort of your couch?

That's. What. I. Thought.

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #23 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:19:25 pm »

I made the real kind of nachos, fresh baked corn tortillas with real cheese and jalapenos. Some Red Hook Spring Ale.

Alkie · « **Reply #24 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:20:19 pm »

Quote from: Sphinx Drummond on April 17, 2009, 07:19:25 pm

I made the real kind of nachos, fresh baked corn tortillas with real cheese and jalapenos. Some Red Hook Spring Ale.

This is throwing back for you?

Matt · « **Reply #25 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:21:11 pm »

The MLB.TV Audio is behind the video. Fuck.

Alkie · « **Reply #26 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:21:44 pm »

Someone else will have to do PBP. As my wife and child don't know I've decided to make my one-night comeback in the GZ, I have to come and go into Boss Mode.

GreatBagwellsBeard · « **Reply #27 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:21:47 pm »

St. A's Amber for me. The fucking Lil Pumas are out in force tonight at MMPUS.

Matt · « **Reply #28 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:21:50 pm »

I picked up a bottle of Sailor Jerry spiced rum for this game. The misses is in for a surprise later when she gets here.

Matt · « **Reply #29 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:22:11 pm »

Quote from: GreatBagwellsBeard on April 17, 2009, 07:21:47 pm

St. A's Amber for me. The fucking Lil Pumas are out in force tonight at MMPUS.

The Lil' Furries you mean.

Alkie · « **Reply #30 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:22:52 pm »

Quote from: Matt on April 17, 2009, 07:21:50 pm

I picked up a bottle of Sailor Jerry spiced rum for this game. The misses is in for a surprise later when she gets here.

You guys only have sex when you're falling-down-drunk too?

Thank god, I was sure that was just us.

Matt · « **Reply #31 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:24:15 pm »

I didn't exactly tell her that the sailor was coming over tonight.

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #32 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:24:39 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:20:19 pm

This is throwing back for you?

Warm up.

Matt · « **Reply #33 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:24:42 pm »

I bet the Lil Pumas all have dick and ass holes in those stupid costumes.

jonbloozy · « **Reply #34 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:25:33 pm »

Matt's in a band. I heard those guys don't even need liquor.

Col. Sphinx Drummond · « **Reply #35 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:25:54 pm »

I've got a bottle of Tito's and a sack full of ruby reds for later.

Alkie · « **Reply #36 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:25:59 pm »

Quote from: Matt on April 17, 2009, 07:24:15 pm

I didn't exactly tell her that the sailor was coming over tonight.

Of course not, we already established you're trying to get laid.

Alkie · « **Reply #37 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:26:42 pm »

Quote from: jonbloozy on April 17, 2009, 07:25:33 pm

Matt's in a band.

What year is this? Who still uses that line?

Matt · « **Reply #38 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:27:33 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:26:42 pm

What year is this? Who still uses that line?

Guys in puma outfits.

austro · « **Reply #39 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:31:08 pm »

Quote from: GreatBagwellsBeard on April 17, 2009, 07:21:47 pm

St. A's Amber for me. The fucking Lil Pumas are out in force tonight at MMPUS.

Glenmorangie tonight.

Alkie, are you moving to a freeway underpass?

Alkie · « **Reply #40 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:32:50 pm »

Quote from: austro on April 17, 2009, 07:31:08 pm

Alkie, are you moving to a freeway underpass?

Very close. NYC.

austro · « **Reply #41 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:32:50 pm »

Um, JD: Roy is not getting squeezed. He's not hitting the spots.

austro · « **Reply #42 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:33:45 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:32:50 pm

Very close. NYC.

Wow. What's the over/under on Alkie's head exploding from Yankee/Met coverage?

WakePhil · « **Reply #43 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:34:56 pm »

Alkie in the house, I'll offer up some pbp unless someone else has it.

Alkie · « **Reply #44 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:35:37 pm »

Quote from: austro on April 17, 2009, 07:33:45 pm

Wow. What's the over/under on Alkie's head exploding from Yankee/Met coverage?

I've already been contacted by the Yankees. They heard we're moving there and asked if I was interested in some $91,000 season tickets.

Sure, I said.

Then they mentioned something about PAYING them for these seats.

WELL, I said.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #45 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:35:40 pm »

Quote from: WakePhil on April 17, 2009, 07:34:56 pm

Alkie in the house, I'll offer up some pbp unless someone else has it.

Thanks.

Alkie · « **Reply #46 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:35:56 pm »

Quote from: WakePhil on April 17, 2009, 07:34:56 pm

Alkie in the house, I'll offer up some pbp unless someone else has it.

All yours holmes.

Savage · « **Reply #47 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:37:23 pm »

That was one ugly-ass swing.

homer · « **Reply #48 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:37:26 pm »

Why does Brownie sound like a fucking clark?

WakePhil · « **Reply #49 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:37:58 pm »

Late to the party, but saw a K somewhere

And there's another....Roy Ks Cueto for the side.

I'll be ready from here on out.

Alkie · « **Reply #50 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:39:24 pm »

You went. Sit down.

This half inning brought to you by, you guessed it, Alkie's House. If you lived here, you owe me money.

Alkie · « **Reply #51 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:40:01 pm »

Ok, kid went to sleep. I'm getting out the first LSOTC.

Anyone want one?

Alkie · « **Reply #52 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:41:37 pm »

Phil, that's some killer pbp. I'm sure JaneDoe appreciates it.

Alkie · « **Reply #53 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:43:38 pm »

So like, do they not put alcohol in these LSOTC anymore?

Did they ever?

JaneDoe · « **Reply #54 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:43:57 pm »

I didn't start Cueto on my fantasy team. On gameday he looks unstoppable. FML

WakePhil · « **Reply #55 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:44:20 pm »

Thunder: First pitch swinging, caught against the right field wall.
Blum: First pitch swinging, caught in left.
Pudge: Dear god, someone took a pitch...a strike. Swings at a ball, fouls, strike out on a high strike.

WakePhil · « **Reply #56 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:45:09 pm »

prefer batter by batter? or inning summary?

Alkie · « **Reply #57 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:45:28 pm »

Quote from: JaneDoe on April 17, 2009, 07:43:57 pm

I didn't start Cueto on my fantasy team. On gameday he looks unstoppable. FML

Oh, he's stoppable. Just not by our lineup.

jonbloozy · « **Reply #58 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:46:19 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:40:01 pm

I'm getting out the first LSOTC.

Large Sack of the Chronic?

Alkie · « **Reply #59 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:46:52 pm »

Quote from: jonbloozy on April 17, 2009, 07:46:19 pm

Large Sack of the Chronic?

Lone Star Out The Can

JaneDoe · « **Reply #60 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:47:41 pm »

Quote from: WakePhil on April 17, 2009, 07:45:09 pm

prefer batter by batter? or inning summary?

I prefer batter by batter, but from experience, it is not easy to do PBP that way.

I will be happy with what I can get. Gameday is so generic

Lurch · « **Reply #61 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:48:19 pm »

Fucking walk Willy T to start the inning. Let's not keep it simple.

Cueto does look good Jane

WakePhil · « **Reply #62 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:49:09 pm »

No problem, I'll go batter by batter after this half

Alkie · « **Reply #63 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:50:26 pm »

So, now's as good a time as any to tell a story.

It's Wednesday, I'm eating lunch with chuck (of GZ fame) and who should pop up at our table, drinking heavily at noon? Limey.

I think the two things that surprised me the most about Limey:

1) He appeared to be speaking some form of English, but god help me, I couldn't understand a word he mumbled.
2) Maybe this is just my ignorance of British culture; but does anyone from the UK wear pants in public?

Alkie · « **Reply #64 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:52:09 pm »

Willy T good.
Pence arm gooder.

Lurch · « **Reply #65 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:52:34 pm »

Wow! Hunter nails Willy T trying to reach 3rd on a single to RF

JaneDoe · « **Reply #66 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:53:29 pm »

Quote from: Lurch on April 17, 2009, 07:48:19 pm

Cueto does look good Jane

Gee, thanks. Salt feels good in the wound.

MRaup · « **Reply #67 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:53:47 pm »

I'm available to do some pbp as well if you need a break or anything.

Alkie · « **Reply #68 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:54:11 pm »

Quote from: MRaup on April 17, 2009, 07:53:47 pm

I'm available to do some pbp as well if you need a break or anything.

Wait. You still live here?

Matt · « **Reply #69 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:54:38 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:50:26 pm

So, now's as good a time as any to tell a story.

It's Wednesday, I'm eating lunch with chuck (of GZ fame) and who should pop up at our table, drinking heavily at noon? Limey.

I think the two things that surprised me the most about Limey:

1) He appeared to be speaking some form of English, but god help me, I couldn't understand a word he mumbled.
2) Maybe this is just my ignorance of British culture; but does anyone from the UK wear pants in public?

Its either no pants or skirts if your of the Scottish version of United Kingdom denizen.

GreatBagwellsBeard · « **Reply #70 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:55:05 pm »

Roy and Pudge don't seem to be on the same page.

Alkie · « **Reply #71 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:55:28 pm »

Quote from: Matt on April 17, 2009, 07:54:38 pm

Its either no pants or skirts if your of the Scottish version of United Kingdom denizen.

Scots don't wear SKIRTS either??? Jesus, what a disgusting archipelago.

MRaup · « **Reply #72 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:55:56 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:54:11 pm

Wait. You still live here?

Are you kidding me? I'm finally a pope. I ain't goin no-place.

Matt · « **Reply #73 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:56:56 pm »

Roy you are not going to get that inside pitch called.

WakePhil · « **Reply #74 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:57:12 pm »

Willy T: Walks on six pithes
Dickerson: Goes 0-2 and lines to Lee.
Votto: b, foul, grounds through the hole between first and second, Pence nails Willy at 3rd. Great play! Ball beat Willy easily, tag not so clear.
Phillips: ball, foul, ball, ball, ... need a beer... , ball, walk. Men on first and second 2 outs.
Bruce: cs, foul, fly on the left track. Lee takes it in, side retired.

Alkie · « **Reply #75 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:57:23 pm »

Quote from: MRaup on April 17, 2009, 07:55:56 pm

Are you kidding me? I'm finally a pope. I ain't goin no-place.

A jedi KNIGHT?

MRaup · « **Reply #76 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:59:32 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:57:23 pm

A jedi KNIGHT?

Adventure? excitement? A pope craves not these things.

Alkie · « **Reply #77 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:59:32 pm »

Make a nice play in the field? Get thrown out the half inning before.

SO cliche.

WakePhil · « **Reply #78 on:** April 17, 2009, 07:59:52 pm »

Smith: rips first pitch deep. Willy catches the ball just short of the track before the hill. Caught on the run with back to the plate. One out, none one.

WakePhil · « **Reply #79 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:00:38 pm »

O: Flies to Dikerson, two outs none on.

WakePhil · « **Reply #80 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:02:19 pm »

Bourn: First pitch to deepish center. Side retired.

6 pitches, maybe. Terrible.

Lurch · « **Reply #81 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:02:36 pm »

Quote from: JaneDoe on April 17, 2009, 07:53:29 pm

Gee, thanks. Salt feels good in the wound.

You might need to take responsiblity for whats going on.

Alkie · « **Reply #82 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:02:52 pm »

Alkie's Cars Half Inning!

Yes, sir. Did you want a brand new, slightly used, 2006 car? How about TWO of them? Blue book value and delivered from my garage to the front of the house for YOUR convenience.

How can you pass this up?

Who took my LSOTC?

austro · « **Reply #83 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:03:12 pm »

I took a break to eat dinner, but it looks like the Roy-Cueto pitchcount ratio is about 3-1. Is that right?

DVauthrin · « **Reply #84 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:04:06 pm »

Quote from: Lurch on April 17, 2009, 08:02:36 pm

You might need to take responsiblity for whats going on.

Agreed. By not starting cueto, he's very likely to throw a gem against the Astros.

austro · « **Reply #85 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:04:20 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:02:52 pm

Alkie's Cars Half Inning!

Yes, sir. Did you want a brand new, slightly used, 2006 car? How about TWO of them? Blue book value and delivered from my garage to the front of the house for YOUR convenience.

How can you pass this up?

Who took my LSOTC?

Are those pre-hurricance vehicles? No thanks.

Alkie · « **Reply #86 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:05:58 pm »

Quote from: austro on April 17, 2009, 08:04:20 pm

Are those pre-hurricance vehicles? No thanks.

They ARE, but you'll be pleased to know that all cars were safely in New Braunfels during Camp Ike.

WakePhil · « **Reply #87 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:06:11 pm »

Encarnacion: strike down the middle, ball in tight, strike fastball away, foul, foul, misses badly on a slow curve, K on a fastball away. One out.

otterjb · « **Reply #88 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:07:44 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 07:21:44 pm

Someone else will have to do PBP. As my wife and child don't know I've decided to make my one-night comeback in the GZ, I have to come and go into Boss Mode.

Uber-scientific, buzzed, quiz-thingy:
Based only on being or not being on this board,
1. Has your life been a)better b)worse
2. Has your wife's life been a)better b)worse
3. How does #2 impact #1?

WakePhil · « **Reply #89 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:08:38 pm »

Hernandez: strike, ball, strike, foul (late on fastball down the middle), rips a low curve foul (man thanks his beer gut for taking the bullet), flies out routinely to Pence.

pravata · « **Reply #90 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:08:40 pm »

what the fuck is Brownie yammering about, paper clip bugs eating the Astros bats? That explains a fuck of a lot. By the way Hornitos and Busch. You got a problem with that?

austro · « **Reply #91 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:08:42 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:05:58 pm

They ARE, but you'll be pleased to know that all cars were safely in New Braunfels during Camp Ike.

Bullshit. I would have seen them while I was dragging my canoe over the Guadalupe rock garden.

austro · « **Reply #92 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:09:36 pm »

Quote from: pravata on April 17, 2009, 08:08:40 pm

what the fuck is Brownie yammering about, paper clip bugs eating the Astros bats? That explains a fuck of a lot. By the way Hornitos and Busch. You got a problem with that?

WTF is a Hornito?

DVauthrin · « **Reply #93 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:09:59 pm »

Quote from: pravata on April 17, 2009, 08:08:40 pm

what the fuck is Brownie yammering about, paper clip bugs eating the Astros bats? That explains a fuck of a lot. By the way Hornitos and Busch. You got a problem with that?

Could he be buzzed during a broadcast again?

WakePhil · « **Reply #94 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:10:23 pm »

Gonzalez: Way out in front on a curve and fouls, strike, ball outside, ball further outside, fastball down the heart and hit up the middle. One on two outs.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #95 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:10:58 pm »

Quote from: DVauthrin on April 17, 2009, 08:04:06 pm

Agreed. By not starting cueto, he's very likely to throw a gem against the Astros.

Oh. My. God.

Its the Butterfly Effect.

And. All. My. Fault.

I take the blame.

BatGirl · « **Reply #96 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:11:01 pm »

Quote from: austro on April 17, 2009, 08:09:36 pm

WTF is a Hornito?

it's tequila where i come from

Alkie · « **Reply #97 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:11:06 pm »

Quote from: otterjb on April 17, 2009, 08:07:44 pm

Uber-scientific, buzzed, quiz-thingy:
Based only on being or not being on this board,
1. Has your life been a)better b)worse
2. Has your wife's life been a)better b)worse
3. Does #2 impact #1?

Before I answer this, I should be clear that it isn't that my wife has a problem with me being on here. It's that I've spent a lot of time railing against the site so when my wife sees me posting, I'm quite the hypocrite. That's it. She's not the reason I stopped posting. Remember, she MET me thru this site.

1) better. a lot. not even close.
2) better. a lot. not even close.
3) I guess. I'm not saying quitting the board MADE my life better, I just got busy with other shit that took up all my time and the trade off was (a) spend my time growing my business or (b) spend my time working at my business and living an alter-ego life on this site.

WakePhil · « **Reply #98 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:11:16 pm »

Cueto: Pence snags a foul on first pitch. Side retired.

Roy already at 84 pitches.

austro · « **Reply #99 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:13:33 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:11:06 pm

(a) spend my time growing my business

Right. And now you're headed to New Yawk. This is a win?

otterjb · « **Reply #100 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:13:45 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:11:06 pm

Before I answer this, I should be clear that it isn't that my wife has a problem with me being on here. It's that I've spent a lot of time railing against the site so when my wife sees me posting, I'm quite the hypocrite. That's it. She's not the reason I stopped posting. Remember, she MET me thru this site.

1) better. a lot. not even close.
2) better. a lot. not even close.
3) I guess. I'm not saying quitting the board MADE my life better, I just got busy with other shit that took up all my time and the trade off was (a) spend my time growing my business or (b) spend my time working at my business and living an alter-ego life on this site.

Cool, just wondering.

Alkie · « **Reply #101 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:13:47 pm »

The Astros are being no hit. Are you there, God? It's me, Redsfan.

Alkie · « **Reply #102 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:14:16 pm »

Quote from: otterjb on April 17, 2009, 08:13:45 pm

Cool, just wondering.

Well, something made you ask. What's the rub?

austro · « **Reply #103 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:15:01 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:13:47 pm

The Astros are being no hit. Are you there, God? It's me, Redsfan.

Well played, sir.

Alkie · « **Reply #104 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:15:07 pm »

Quote from: austro on April 17, 2009, 08:13:33 pm

Right. And now you're headed to New Yawk. This is a win?

Not sure I follow which thing you're asking is a "win".

WakePhil · « **Reply #105 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:15:16 pm »

Brownie praising Cueto to start the inning. Does he not remember that we've been dominated by Loshe and Duke?

Miggy: ball, foul, called strike low and inside, ball, belts one up the middle, ss stops but can't get him. One on, none out.

WakePhil · « **Reply #106 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:17:36 pm »

Miggy on first.

Berkman: strike swinging, ball, (JD assumes Cueto is dumb), ball, ball high, ball inside. Two on none out.

Alkie · « **Reply #107 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:17:50 pm »

Quote from: austro on April 17, 2009, 08:15:01 pm

Well played, sir.

Some things never change.

WakePhil · « **Reply #108 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:19:18 pm »

"Dick Pole watches as..."

Berkman on first, Tejada on second.

Lee: foul, lined to third, Berkman is doubled on first. Two outs, man on second.

austro · « **Reply #109 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:19:53 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:15:07 pm

Not sure I follow which thing you're asking is a "win".

You grew your business, but as a result you'll wind up in NY. Sorry, I'm trying to be a smartass, but I'm failing.

What was Lance thinking there? That's horrible.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #110 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:20:12 pm »

Quote from: WakePhil on April 17, 2009, 08:19:18 pm

"Dick Pole watches as..."

Berkman on first, Tejada on second.

Lee: foul, lined to third, Berkman is doubled on first. Two outs, man on second.

Ugh. I gotta get a drink.

MikeyBoy · « **Reply #111 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:20:16 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:17:50 pm

Some things never change.

Berkman. Baserunning. Not good.

MRaup · « **Reply #112 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:20:28 pm »

Fucking Lance.

FREEZE ON A LINE DRIVE you tubby sack of monkeynuts.

Alkie · « **Reply #113 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:21:10 pm »

Quote from: MRaup on April 17, 2009, 08:20:28 pm

Fucking Lance.

FREEZE ON A LINE DRIVE you tubby sack of monkeynuts.

Some things never change.

WakePhil · « **Reply #114 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:21:47 pm »

Pence up, I assume I won't open a new window before the AB is over, but...

Miggy on 2

Pence: ball, ball, (conference), ball on close slider (real close, no idea how Pence stood still), ball. Walk.

Two on, two out.

Alkie · « **Reply #115 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:22:00 pm »

Quote from: austro on April 17, 2009, 08:19:53 pm

You grew your business, but as a result you'll wind up in NY. Sorry, I'm trying to be a smartass, but I'm failing.

Ah ha! No, my bad. The problem with taking time off from comedy to focus on busines is, you forget how this board works.

Alkie · « **Reply #116 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:23:08 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:22:00 pm

Ah ha! No, my bad. The problem with taking time off from comedy to focus on busines is, you forget how this board works.

And apparently spelling too.

WakePhil · « **Reply #117 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:23:42 pm »

Freeswingers on first and second...

Blum: Ball goes behind Blum and into the backstop (both runners advance), ball, strike, lays fly to short in short left center.

Side retired.

MRaup · « **Reply #118 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:24:02 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:23:08 pm

And apparently spelling too.

You're not a successful buisnesmane?

Alkie · « **Reply #119 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:24:40 pm »

Quote from: MRaup on April 17, 2009, 08:24:02 pm

You're not a successful buisnesmane?

Noe. Not that one.

otterjb · « **Reply #120 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:25:18 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:14:16 pm

Well, something made you ask. What's the rub?

No rub, just wondering why you dropped out.

otterjb · « **Reply #121 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:26:21 pm »

That fan is on mescaline.

matadorph · « **Reply #122 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:26:38 pm »

What the fuck was that?

BatGirl · « **Reply #123 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:26:43 pm »

Quote from: otterjb on April 17, 2009, 08:26:21 pm

That fan is on mescaline.

stop talking about my dad like that

Lurch · « **Reply #124 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:26:52 pm »

Worst. In-stand. Interview. Ever.

juliogotay · « **Reply #125 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:27:02 pm »

Oh my god...who is this guy with Patty.

WakePhil · « **Reply #126 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:27:08 pm »

Dear god, crazy old man loses his mind in the stands.

Willy T: Grounds one off Roy's ass to Blum who gets Willy at first. One out.

cougar · « **Reply #127 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:27:22 pm »

Tommy Lasorda's brother is an Astros fan?

otterjb · « **Reply #128 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:27:27 pm »

Off of Oswalt's asscheeck, to Blum to Berkman, for the normal play.

Alkie · « **Reply #129 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:27:28 pm »

Quote from: otterjb on April 17, 2009, 08:25:18 pm

No rub, just wondering why you dropped out.

Mostly it was clear that me and the board didn't see eye to eye anymore.

Then I found other stuff to spend 10 hours a day on.

JaneDoe · « **Reply #130 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:28:29 pm »

Quote from: WakePhil on April 17, 2009, 08:27:08 pm

Willy T: Grounds one off Roy's ass

Does this work anything like spark plugs? Roy needs some electric shock therapy.

Alkie · « **Reply #131 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:28:38 pm »

Peaches just hit #500.

Now he can retire and I can tell the story about the time he called me a kyke at age 9.

MRaup · « **Reply #132 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:28:55 pm »

I could never be gainfully employed as the roving 3rd commentator. I would've killed every moron that screams "GO STROS" at the end of the stupid interview.

MikeyBoy · « **Reply #133 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:29:10 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:27:28 pm

Mostly it was clear that me and the board didn't see eye to eye anymore.

Then I found other stuff to spend 10 hours a day on.

Did you try raising the monitor?

WakePhil · « **Reply #134 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:29:28 pm »

Crazy man has been euthanized, Roy's ass is ok...

Dickerson: slow curve misses again, low fb fouled, slider fools for strike, high fb fouled, low fb 3 unassisted. Two outs none on.

Alkie · « **Reply #135 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:29:48 pm »

Quote from: MikeyBoy on April 17, 2009, 08:29:10 pm

Did you try raising the monitor?

I did not. That was all I had to do?

matadorph · « **Reply #136 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:30:36 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:27:28 pm

Mostly it was clear that me and the board didn't see eye to eye anymore.

I never got that impression. Was it more about Jennings or Sampson or both?

austro · « **Reply #137 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:30:47 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:29:48 pm

I did not. That was all I had to do?

This is why people are always carrying on about thinking outside the box.

jonbloozy · « **Reply #138 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:30:55 pm »

I just want to comment on Domino's here for a second. This must be the best pizza chain ever. They just left to deliver my pizza in the future. I'll save you a slice.

WakePhil · « **Reply #139 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:31:16 pm »

Votto: strike, foul, change away, fastball chopped 4-3. Side retired.

austro · « **Reply #140 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:32:02 pm »

Quote from: jonbloozy on April 17, 2009, 08:30:55 pm

I just want to comment on Domino's here for a second. This must be the best pizza chain ever. They just left to deliver my pizza in the future. I'll save you a slice.

Excellent. Is there still time to redirect them to my house?

JaneDoe · « **Reply #141 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:32:48 pm »

According to the Rangers announcers: Vlad Guerrero tore a chest muscle. Out at least a month.

MikeyBoy · « **Reply #142 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:33:00 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:29:48 pm

I did not. That was all I had to do?

Yep. That one is free.

Alkie · « **Reply #143 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:33:57 pm »

Quote from: matadorph on April 17, 2009, 08:30:36 pm

I never got that impression. Was it more about Jennings or Sampson or both?

I wish that's all it was.

matadorph · « **Reply #144 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:34:11 pm »

Quote from: austro on April 17, 2009, 08:32:02 pm

Excellent. Is there still time to redirect them to my house?

Only if you're holding.

WakePhil · « **Reply #145 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:34:46 pm »

Pudge: fouls, ball, fouls, ball high, swings at ball high and flies to Bruce. One out none on.

Alkie · « **Reply #146 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:35:18 pm »

Quote from: matadorph on April 17, 2009, 08:34:11 pm

Only if you're holding.

LSOTC or LSOTC?

WakePhil · « **Reply #147 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:36:09 pm »

Smith: fouls, ball inside, ball nearly in the dirt, swings at a ball low and outside and grounds 6-3. Two outs, none on.

Lurch · « **Reply #148 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:36:40 pm »

Quote from: jonbloozy on April 17, 2009, 08:30:55 pm

I just want to comment on Domino's here for a second. This must be the best pizza chain ever. They just left to deliver my pizza in the future. I'll save you a slice.

"Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger." - Mitch Hedberg

Alkie · « **Reply #149 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:38:07 pm »

Quote from: Lurch on April 17, 2009, 08:36:40 pm

"Someone handed me a picture and said, "This is a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture of you is when you were younger." - Mitch Hedberg

"FUCK the bozos." - Mother Theresa, party at my place, 1994. It was the bizomb.

WakePhil · « **Reply #150 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:38:16 pm »

O: strike, ball, ball outside, ball further outside, ball low for a walk. One on two outs.

matadorph · « **Reply #151 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:38:29 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:35:18 pm

LSOTC or LSOTC?

LSOTHC

jonbloozy · « **Reply #152 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:38:57 pm »

Quote from: austro on April 17, 2009, 08:32:02 pm

Excellent. Is there still time to redirect them to my house?

I don't think so. They just delivered it, but I feel like this already happened. In the past. I gotta take off this lifejacket so I can eat.

WakePhil · « **Reply #153 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:40:00 pm »

Roy on first, two outs. JD wondering if the bunt is in play with Votto playing behind Roy...

Bourn: ball, ball, ball (close), ball away.

JD thinks Cueto is tired, Dick Pole pays a visit.

Alkie · « **Reply #154 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:41:49 pm »

Quote from: jonbloozy on April 17, 2009, 08:38:57 pm

I don't think so. They just delivered it, but I feel like this already happened. In the past. I gotta take off this lifejacket so I can eat.

The pizza never existed.

matadorph · « **Reply #155 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:42:15 pm »

Quote from: jonbloozy on April 17, 2009, 08:38:57 pm

I don't think so. They just delivered it, but I feel like this already happened. In the past. I gotta take off this lifejacket so I can eat.

Did you get any cinnasticks?

otterjb · « **Reply #156 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:42:25 pm »

Momma T knew how to party. Poppin mad bottles. and stuff.

WakePhil · « **Reply #157 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:43:28 pm »

Two on, two out, Cueto stays in

Miguel Tejeda: strike (taking), swinging strike on an inside pitch, fouls just short of the right field foul pole, fastball way over the catcher's head (set up way outside) and into the backstop. Bounces back so quickly that no one moves. Grounds through the hole between third and short. Roy stays at third.

Bases loaded.

Alkie · « **Reply #158 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:43:51 pm »

Quote from: otterjb on April 17, 2009, 08:42:25 pm

Momma T knew how to party. Poppin mad bottles. and stuff.

Wasn't even my favorite quote from that night.

"Yes, in my ass, don't be such a protestant."

Classic Terry.

Lurch · « **Reply #159 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:44:43 pm »

Quote from: matadorph on April 17, 2009, 08:42:15 pm

Did you get any cinnasticks?

Man, I can destroy an order of cinnasticks. As far as the kids are concerned the box just contains two half pieces.

Matt · « **Reply #160 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:45:12 pm »

As a little note for the drinking book: Sailor Jerry and Dr. Pepper is the motherfuckin' shit!

Alkie · « **Reply #161 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:45:44 pm »

Quote from: Matt on April 17, 2009, 08:45:12 pm

As a little note for the drinking book: Sailor Jerry and Dr. Pepper is the motherfuckin' shit!

I'm not SAYING that makes you queer or nothing, but I hear you're in a band.

MusicMan · « **Reply #162 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:46:21 pm »

We interrupt this trip down memory lane with an actual question:

Just how much is the biceps hurting Lance when he "hits" from the left side?

matadorph · « **Reply #163 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:46:57 pm »

That's one way to get a run.

WakePhil · « **Reply #164 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:47:05 pm »

Bases loaded, two outs.

Puma: ball inside on the knees, ball on the black but low and outside, ball up and inside (close), fouls on a fb away, fouls on a high fb, barely fouls an offspeed up, ball very low and inside, full count....ball inside walks in a run. Roy scores

Matt · « **Reply #165 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:47:07 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:45:44 pm

I'm not SAYING that makes you queer or nothing, but I hear you're in a band.

Oh yeah? Did you? Well it's true. Have some rum.

matadorph · « **Reply #166 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:47:25 pm »

JD: "If I'm Dick Pole..."

austro · « **Reply #167 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:47:29 pm »

Quote from: Lurch on April 17, 2009, 08:44:43 pm

Man, I can destroy an order of cinnasticks. As far as the kids are concerned the box just contains two half pieces.

I'm bringing sticks on Sunday, and I'm going to wave them around under your nose in your backswing.

Matt · « **Reply #168 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:47:34 pm »

heh JD just said "If I'm Dick Pole..."

austro · « **Reply #169 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:48:11 pm »

Quote from: MusicMan on April 17, 2009, 08:46:21 pm

We interrupt this trip down memory lane with an actual question:

Just how much is the biceps hurting Lance when he "hits" from the left side?

Sshhhh....

jonbloozy · « **Reply #170 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:48:28 pm »

Quote from: matadorph on April 17, 2009, 08:42:15 pm

Did you get any cinnasticks?

No cinnasticks, just the sandwich (along with the pizzas) that we (my wife) wanted to order. I could get all bizidizily and tell you where I would prefer to order a pizza, but that place probably doesn't make deliveries in the future.

Alkie · « **Reply #171 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:49:25 pm »

Quote from: MusicMan on April 17, 2009, 08:46:21 pm

We interrupt this trip down memory lane with an actual question:

Just how much is the biceps hurting Lance when he "hits" from the left side?

Pardon me, good sir, but your question angers me.

Alkie telling stories about flipping Mother Theresa over and playing her B-side: 1 run
Music Man asking irrelevant questions: 0

MRaup · « **Reply #172 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:49:33 pm »

Quote from: Matt on April 17, 2009, 08:47:07 pm

Oh yeah? Did you? Well it's true. Have some rum.

Wait a second... That's just a bottle of malibu that someone wrote "RUM" on...

MikeyBoy · « **Reply #173 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:49:40 pm »

Quote from: MusicMan on April 17, 2009, 08:46:21 pm

We interrupt this trip down memory lane with an actual question:

Just how much is the biceps hurting Lance when he "hits" from the left side?

The pain is actually in the shoulder and he should be completely pain free.

austro · « **Reply #174 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:49:41 pm »

Quote from: jonbloozy on April 17, 2009, 08:48:28 pm

but that place probably doesn't make deliveries in the future.

Wimps.

MusicMan · « **Reply #175 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:50:29 pm »

Quote from: MikeyBoy on April 17, 2009, 08:49:40 pm

The pain is actually in the shoulder and he should be completely pain free.

I thought the diagnosis was biceps tendinitis?

WakePhil · « **Reply #176 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:50:52 pm »

Cueto is done. I can get a beer... Is anyone surprised that Carlos isn't very meticulous in his bat selection? At least that was more enlightening than the contents of Berkman's pockets.

Based loaded two outs.

Carlos: strikes swinging on a high slider, grounds 6-4. Side retired.

Matt · « **Reply #177 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:51:13 pm »

Quote from: MRaup on April 17, 2009, 08:49:33 pm

Wait a second... That's just a bottle of malibu that someone wrote "RUM" on...

Just because its scrawled on the bottle in chicken scratch with a highlighter doesn't make it NOT rum.

WakePhil · « **Reply #178 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:51:40 pm »

Quote from: Matt on April 17, 2009, 08:45:12 pm

As a little note for the drinking book: Sailor Jerry and Dr. Pepper is the motherfuckin' shit!

Not a rum fan, but was recently introduced to Sailors and I agree.

Alkie · « **Reply #179 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:51:48 pm »

Quote from: Matt on April 17, 2009, 08:47:07 pm

Oh yeah? Did you? Well it's true. Have some rum.

Austin. 1998. SXSW. We're eating lunch at Stubbs (for some reason).

I stand in line for a solid 12 minutes to get to the counter.

A guy (clearly a roadie) cuts in front of everyone, gets to the counter, and starts to order.

The guy behind the counter looks at him in that Austin-service kind of way and points his pen at the back of the line.

The roadie says, loudly "I'm with the band."

Welcome to Austin, roadie. Get in fucking line.

austro · « **Reply #180 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:51:55 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:49:25 pm

Alkie telling stories about flipping Mother Theresa over and playing her B-side: 1 run
Music Man asking irrelevant questions: 0

The beauty of the Internet is that Alkie can continue to provide us with theses bon mots even when he's in NY. Please don't leave us again.

WakePhil · « **Reply #181 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:53:36 pm »

Roy stays on the hill...

Phillips: curve for a strike, fb inside for a ball, 100th pitch is a tapper back to Roy. 1-3. One out.

Andyzipp · « **Reply #182 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:53:39 pm »

You want to owner finance that ranch style house? I'll give you...$350 a month...forever.

Alkie · « **Reply #183 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:54:05 pm »

Quote from: austro on April 17, 2009, 08:51:55 pm

The beauty of the Internet is that Alkie can continue to provide us with theses bon mots even when he's in NY. Please don't leave us again.

Yeah, if I understand this right, if we end up renting a pre-war home (if you're not from NY, look in to this term, it still makes me laugh), there's a real chance we might NOT have internet.

MikeyBoy · « **Reply #184 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:54:10 pm »

Quote from: MusicMan on April 17, 2009, 08:50:29 pm

I thought the diagnosis was biceps tendinitis?

The bicep tendon runs from your bicep up to your shoulder. The tendonitis usually occurs in the upper tendon where it connects with the shoulder.

Matt · « **Reply #185 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:54:28 pm »

Quote from: austro on April 17, 2009, 08:51:55 pm

The beauty of the Internet is that Alkie can continue to provide us with theses bon mots even when he's in NY. Please don't leave us again.

And now I know the phrase "flip her over and play her B side".

Alkie · « **Reply #186 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:54:29 pm »

Quote from: Andyzipp on April 17, 2009, 08:53:39 pm

You want to owner finance that ranch style house? I'll give you...$350 a month...forever.

Time is of the essense. Define forever.

Matt · « **Reply #187 on:** April 17, 2009, 08:55:21 pm »

Quote from: Alkie on April 17, 2009, 08:54:05 pm

Yeah, if I understand this right, if we end up renting a pre-war home (if you're not from NY, look in to this term, it still makes me laugh), there's a real chance we might NOT have internet.

Pre-war? Which fucking war? The Spanish-American?