... Maybe you were just going blind, like your mother told you you would.
Was clerking for a judge in a trial years ago on a public indecency case. It seems that the defendant had a thing for playing with himself in front of his second floor window. As time went by the neighbors were becoming increasingly annoyed by this, and one afternoon when one of the neighbors drove by and saw this happen decided to call the police about it.
45 minutes after the call, the police showed up and saw the guy in the upstairs window still going at it.
So the trial date comes and defense counsel decides to try the case before the court instead of a jury. In the defense, the attorney explained that his client was a Vietnam vet that had experienced significant retinal deterioration over the years as a result of something that had happened (I can't remember what) in the war. As a result counsel argued, his client
was going blind and didn't know that he was in front of the window.
Well... that defense tickled the ole' judge immensely, and after the defendant had testified his honor took a break gather his composure (which he'd somehow managed to keep in check to this point). Seemingly composed, we start walking back into the courtroom where he quipped to me right as we entered "Tex, guess his momma was right on this one. It will make you go blind...". Needless to say, all composure was lost at this point, his honor recommended that they try to work out a plea and the case was finished shortly thereafter.
