Great American Ball ParkTuesday, September 25, 6:15 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, September 26, 6:15 p.m. CDT – FSN
Thursday, September 27, 6:15 p.m. CDT – FSN
This series will wrap up the Astros' road schedule for the year. Their record away from home is 28-50, which is the worst in the National League. The Astros could conceivably pass the Reds for fourth place in the Central standings before the end of the year; not that it really matters, but at least we wouldn't have to stand downwind of them all winter.
Also, here's my Public Service Announcement for Astros rookies, since this is their first visit to Cincinnati:
* If someone offers you a Three-Way, DO NOT take it. They aren't offering you a half-hour with the Brady girls. No, a Cincinnati Three-Way is a bowl of noodles with a pile of shit on top. With chocolate and cinnamon garnish. An hour after eating this, your ass will start wafting “Cincinnati Air Fresheners.”
* If you're in bar and a guy says, “Hey, let's grab our sacks and play some Cornhole,” it's OK. But this offer is only good in Cincinnati, and never, ever in San Francisco.
No decent giveaways this series, though fans who run onto the field can go to jail and play in a free cornhole tournament with the Bengals.
Projected Matchups from Astros.comTuesdayFelipe Paulino (0-1, 11.25) v. Homer Bailey (3-2, 6.09)
Paulino only has one major league start, but the Astros probably figured they'd throw him at the Dickities and see what happens. In his last start he gave up five runs to the Brewers in four innings.
Bailey made six starts for the Reds before the All-Star Break and went 2-2. He also got a win against the Jints last week. He's never faced the Astros.
WednesdayJuan Gutierrez (1-1, 4.96) v. Tom Shearn (3-0, 3.94)
Gutierrez has made a couple of starts for the Astros this year, including six innings against Milwaukee last week when he gave up two runs on five hits.
Shearn is a rookie righthander who's made five starts this year. He got a no-decision last week against the Cubs, and he's never faced the Astros.
ThursdayWandy Rodriguez (9-13, 4.66) v. Matt Belisle (8-9, 5.43)
Finally, some grizzled veterans. Wandy went eight innings against the 3rdinals in his last start and was the lucky recipient of the 18-run Jake-snaking. He's 2-2 against the Reds in his career and 0-1 this year. The Reds have hit him well but most of the guys who did it are hurt now. However, centerfielder Norris Hopper is 5-for-5 against Wandy, with two doubles.
Belisle is 1-1 against Houston this year, though his ERA against the good guys is only 0.61 in 14+ innings. His last start against the Astros was in May. Current Astros have 86 at-bats against Belisle, with the same number of hits as strikeouts (19). Berkman has a homer off him, but Carlos Lee is only 1-for-11.
Injury ReportHouston – Troy Patton has been shut down for the season. Adam Everett is back but who knows how much he'll play.
Cincinnati – Alex Gonzalez and Adam Dunn are questionable for this series. The Red Messiah is out for the season, of course. Catcher Ryan Jorgensen is serving a 50-game suspension for violating the substance abuse policy. Ryan Freel and Eric Milton are out, along with a bunch of other guys you never heard of.
Our Interesting Things To Look For- The Astros are starting to use San Diego as their dumping ground, sending Jason Lane there Monday in exchange for six fish tacos. Lane will apparently replace Milton Bradley, who got accidentally suplexed by Manager Bud Black while they tag-teamed an umpire. Marcus Giles has a cage match this week, so the Astros may get rid of Chris Burke yet.
- That does it for me this year. Thanks for reading, and thanks to all the other series preview writers who spread the love this season. Everybody remember to get a penicillin shot.
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