Happy Birthday, Roy! Thanks for the gift!

[Ty in Tampa]

Wednesday, August 29th, 2007

Turdinals 0
Astros 7

W: Oswalt | L: Wells

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"regardless of what's happening with the astros' record, their season, their staffing decisions, i like that every fifth day i can turn on the tv and watch roy oswalt pitch."
-guitarcec in tonight's GZ

Can I get an AMEN? Tonight, on Roy's 30th birthday, he gave Astros fans a gift. 7 shut-out innings with 9 Ks and only 4 hits. Only 1 Turdinal got as far as 2nd base as Sparky cruised, throwing only 99 pitches. He dominated.

New skip Cooper tossed up the line-up a bit, leading off with PENCE!!! and moving Bidge to the 2 hole (NTTAWWT). Beaker came through with a 2-4 night with a walk and Pigpen tied Brett for 5th on the all-time doubles list. A few other notables:

• Berkman's 250th dong on a 3 for 5 night and a steal of 3rd
• Ausmus passes Bagwell for the team triples lead, finally PROVING he's a better hitter than Bags
• Cooper, a better manager tonight than last night, gets his first career ML win
• Tal Smith is Don Imus

1 more with these fucksticks then it's off to the land of pasty-white fat fucks lined in ivy, WRIGLEY!