Redlegs @ Astros - 5/29/07

[homer]

Cincinnati

Hopper, CF
Hatteberg, 1B
Griffey, RF
Phillips, 2B
Dunn, LF
Encarnacion, 3B
Gonzalez, SS
Moeller, C
Belisle, P

Houston

Ensberg, 3B
Loretta, 1B
Berkman, RF
Lee, LF
Pence, CF
Biggio, 2B
Everett, SS
Ausmus, C
Jennings, P

[mihoba]

Mo leading off.

Holy shit.

[JimR]

Mo leading off.

Holy shit.

total craziness.

[homer]

Mo leading off.

Holy shit.

Everett 7th.

[Alkie]

total craziness.

Gar's just making shit up now.

[MRaup]

Gar's just making shit up now.

Under the lineup, theres a picture of Garner winking rather knowingly.

[Alkie]

Great.  No JD tonight.

[Alkie]

Jennings gets W tonight.

Guarantee.

[JimR]

Jennings gets W tonight.

Guarantee.

extend your powers to a Belisle ND, please.

[Alkie]

extend your powers to a Belisle ND, please.

Can't help you there.  He's on his own.

[Alkie]

Single, walk.  No problemo.  Perfect from here.  W.  Guaranteed.

[JaneDoe]

Jennings does not look like an athletic person at all in those pinstripes.

[Matt]

God Griffey is slow

[Alkie]

God Griffey is slow

He's in on the guarantee.

[MRaup]

He's in on the guarantee.

Hope Adam Dunn is on the payroll too...

[Alkie]

Hope Adam Dunn is on the payroll too...

Oh shit, was I supposed to pay him too?  Why, is he some sort of decent hitter of some kind?

[MRaup]

Oh shit, was I supposed to pay him too?  Why, is he some sort of decent hitter of some kind?

If anyone needs me, I'll be under my desk.

[Alkie]

See, nothing to worry about.

[Matt]

At least he can't distract the vending machine at first tonight with their tea parties and gossiping.

[MRaup]

See, nothing to worry about.

I can't see shit, I'm still at the office...

[Alkie]

At least he can't distract the vending machine at first tonight with their tea parties and gossiping.

Can you imagine being on the boat during their fishing trips together?

ME, HOUR FIVE: ShutupshutUPshutUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!  SHUT!  UP!  JUST SHUT UP!   WE GET IT. 

[mihoba]

I can't see shit, I'm still at the office...

Weak tapper that Mo grabbed and threw him out by a step.

[Alkie]

I can't see shit, I'm still at the office...

Jennings had a very economical inning.  He only had 3 baserunners.

No score.  1 hit.  1 GIDP for Junior.

[Matt]

Can you imagine being on the boat during their fishing trips together?

ME, HOUR FIVE: ShutupshutUPshutUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!  SHUT!  UP!  JUST SHUT UP!   WE GET IT. 

Not to mention all the grab ass those two play.  I haven't seen grown men play that much grab ass since...well since today at the office.

[Amy]

Same old Mo...sigh

[Matt]

Drink every time Ensberg looks at a strike.

[Alkie]

Like hell.

Raup Jr Jr gets a favorable call (at best) for strike 3 on Mo.

[Amy]

Drink every time Ensberg looks at a strike.

I only have four beers left in the house.  That won't be enough.

[Alkie]

I only have four beers left in the house.  That won't be enough.

Not much in the way of planning, are you?

[mihoba]

Damn Lance. Another grounder to second.

Berkman has one HR at MMP this year in 23 games, hitting .231 w/ 9 RBIs.
Of his 18 hits at home, 17 were singles, for an alarming .269 slugging pct.

[Alkie]

3 up, 3 down.  Astros offense fixed immediately by moving Mo to lead off. 

A free beer for the person who correctly gives me the number of desperate moves made by an Astros field or general manager in 2007.

[Amy]

Not much in the way of planning, are you?

Well, if I'd known we were playing that game I would've gone for the 12 pack of black & tan at Wally World the other day instead of the six pack of Yuengling lager.

[Alkie]

Of his 18 hits at home, 17 were singles, for an alarming .269 slugging pct.

I'll do you one better.

Lance has reached base 86 times this year.  80 of those times he ended up on 1st (or got thrown out hanging around off 1st somewhere).

[Alkie]

Well, if I'd known we were playing that game I would've gone for the 12 pack of black & tan at Wally World the other day instead of the six pack of Yuengling lager.

This is why you fail.

[Andyzipp]

When did Jason Jennings start wearing Pete Harnisch's ass?

That thing is huge!

[Matt]

I'll do you one better.

Lance has reached base 86 times this year.  80 of those times he ended up on 1st (or got thrown out hanging around off 1st somewhere).

He must be really desperate for good conversation this season.

[Amy]

This is why you fail.

Yes, I know.  But I'm mostly a social drinker and my cat doesn't count for company during the game.  She heads for the hidy hole when I start yelling at the TV.

[Andyzipp]

She heads for the hidy hole when I start yelling at the TV.

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

[Amy]

AE is unreal.

[mihoba]

When did Jason Jennings start wearing Pete Harnisch's ass?

That thing is huge!

He reminds me of those Disney bears.

[Matt]

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

I try to head for the hidy hole as much as possible.

[Andyzipp]

Nice heads up play by Everett.  Even the intentional stumble was smooth looking.

He makes stumbling look easy.

[Andyzipp]

He reminds me of those Disney bears.

Or the Widettes.

[Amy]

Nice heads up play by Everett.  Even the intentional stumble was smooth looking.

He makes stumbling look easy.

That must be why he can't win a gold glove.

[Andyzipp]

"Carlos Lee has been the most dependable RBI man for the Astros..."

If most=only, that is accurate.

[Amy]

Bidge is glad to be home.  I'm glad he's home too.

[Phil_in_CS]

Biggio still liking the home cooking

[Alkie]

I hope this game goes 132 innings so Biggio can reach 3000 tonight.

[Phil_in_CS]

Milo is saying they are renaming the Mendoza line the Everett line.

Does point out AE has more doubles that Berkman

[Andyzipp]

Bidge is glad to be home.  I'm glad he's home too.

If he never takes another at bat on the road, I'm good.

[Alkie]

Does point out AE has more doubles that Berkman

I'VE had more doubles tonight than Lance has had all year.  And it's only the 2nd inning.

[Amy]

Motherfucker.  Should have stayed at third.

[Phil_in_CS]

so for those who have a TV, was it a good call to send him?

ETA: not that making the 3rd out at home is ever good, but they've sucked at hitting and need to be taking more chances.

[Alkie]

If you're not watching the game on TV, kill yourself.

[mihoba]

Hahahahaha, looked safe to me. Almost an inside the parker for AE.

[Andyzipp]

Fucking Mansolino.  How many times has that happened this year?  Does he fucking read scouting reports?

[Alkie]

so for those who have a TV, was it a good call to send him?

I think Manso is one of the worst in the bigs at holding/sending runners on plays at the plate...but I agreed with him on this one.  The throw and tag had to pretty much be exactly where they were.

[Amy]

so for those who have a TV, was it a good call to send him?

I didn't have a good feeling about it.  Curious to see what others think.

[Andyzipp]

Hahahahaha, looked safe to me. Almost an inside the parker for AE.

Lose your glasses in the Hurricane, did you?

[Alkie]

Fucking Mansolino.  How many times has that happened this year?  Does he fucking read scouting reports?

Doesn't matter.  He guesses anyway.  I don't think I could tell you what makes a good 3rd base coach, but I've said from season one of Manso that he doesn't have it. 

[Alkie]

SAFE!

GODDAMMIT!

[dirty steve]

i like the aggresiveness.  that super slo mo told another story--AE was safe, the throw was alte.

[cougar]

Well, it wasn't as bad as AE's phantom tag in the '05 NLCS, but he looked safe to me.

[Andyzipp]

Doesn't matter.  He guesses anyway.  I don't think I could tell you what makes a good 3rd base coach, but I've said from season one of Manso that he doesn't have it. 

Mike Cubbage couldn't possibly be that busy. 

[Lefty]

Motherfucker.  Should have stayed at third.

8-9 due up, took a perfect relay from Phillips to make it close.  Headfirst slide to the outside of the plate, drag the hand & he's probably safe.

And on the replay he never got tagged.  Oh well.

[mihoba]

i like the aggresiveness.  that super slo mo told another story--AE was safe, the throw was alte.

I thought he was safe before the replay.

[Alkie]

Mike Cubbage couldn't possibly be that busy. 

He's gonna have to grow a porn stache fast if he wants to be Phil's right hand man.

[Andyzipp]

Well, it wasn't as bad as AE's phantom tag in the '05 NLCS, but he looked safe to me.

On the replay, yep, but the catcher sold it, and blocked the umps view...

[Andyzipp]

Lucas' definition of tragic is a little bit different than the rest of the world's.

[Amy]

I remember a few times when Manso held up Baggy at third and Baggy had a look on his face like "you've got to be kidding me."

[Alkie]

Lucas' definition of tragic is a little bit different than the rest of the world's.

Ask him to tell you his "cocktail party joke." 

[mihoba]

Would it be ironic to catch Hopper napping with the hidden ball trick?

[pots]

Definitely send him there.  Bad close call at the plate.  Everett was not running hard out of the box.  But he got the hit, tis what matters the most.  Running hard would have been better though.

[Andyzipp]

Definitely send him there.  Bad close call at the plate.  Everett was not running hard out of the box.  But he got the hit, tis what matters the most.  Running hard would have been better though.

I'm not necessarily upset that he sent him, or that he was thrown out, but Mansolino seems to be guessing most of the time, and by a ggod percentage, he's wrong.

[Alkie]

I'm not necessarily upset that he sent him, or that he was thrown out, but Mansolino seems to be guessing most of the time, and by a ggod percentage, he's wrong.

That's my problem with it.  It seems like he's worse than chance.  I mean, if you just let the players guess whether to run or not, I bet you we'd score more runs and run into fewer outs.

[MRaup]

That's my problem with it.  It seems like he's worse than chance.  I mean, if you just let the players guess whether to run or not, I bet you we'd score more runs and run into fewer outs.

Lee's "not appearing in your picture" out at home last week is the best example ever of Manso's cluelessness.

[Andyzipp]

Underwear, giggle, giggle, giggle.

[Alkie]

Lee's "not appearing in your picture" out at home last week is the best example ever of Manso's cluelessness.

At first...I thought "wow, he's already in the dugout!"  Then, nanoseconds later, it occured to me that he was probably just rounding 3rd.  And then, full seconds later, there he was.

[JaneDoe]

Mike Cubbage couldn't possibly be that busy. 

Oh God! I thought no one could be worse than Cubbage, but now I don't know.

[Andyzipp]

Ensberg owes Dunn some money.

[Alkie]

Underwear, giggle, giggle, giggle.

Who's he kidding?  Everyone knows Rick White doesn't wear underwear.  Look at those nipples.

[Matt]

THIS IS SPARTAAAA!!

[mihoba]

Underwear, giggle, giggle, giggle.

He does his stinking on the mound.

[Andyzipp]

Oh God! I thought no one could be worse than Cubbage, but now I don't know.

I would have said Galante, but I don't think he could swing his tiny arms in a way that anyone would notice.  From a distance it would just look like a couple of fingers peeking above a shoulder every second or so...

[Amy]

Worse outfield defense, Lee & Berkman or Dunn & Griffey?  I'm taking Dunn & Griffey.

[Andyzipp]

Worse outfield defense, Lee & Berkman or Dunn & Griffey?  I'm taking Dunn & Griffey.

Pence vs. Freel...Freel already runs at breakneck speed.

Thank you.  Don't forget to tip your waitress.

I suddenly feel like a mojito.  I guess I'll settle for a Dunkelweizen.

[mihoba]

Worse outfield defense, Lee & Berkman or Dunn & Griffey?  I'm taking Dunn & Griffey.

Berkman is not THAT bad in the outfield.

[HudsonHawk]

Pence vs. Freel...Freel already runs at breakneck speed.

Thank you.  Don't forget to tip your waitress.

I suddenly feel like a mojito.  I guess I'll settle for a Dunkelweizen.

Mojitos are what my grandmother and her old lady friends used to drink while smoking Kents.

[Alkie]

Mojitos are what my grandmother and her old lady friends used to drink while smoking Kents.

So you're surprised that Zipp wants one because..........

[Andyzipp]

Mojitos are what my grandmother and her old lady friends used to drink while smoking Kents.

Yep. Just finished menopause this morning.  And I prefer Kools.

[Alkie]

Kools taste good, like a dog's ass should.

[Andyzipp]

Well, when you're hanging with Hudson's grandmother, and you forget your cash, you do what she asks you to do.

[mihoba]

Lance is now hitting .225 at home. Punch & Judy.

[pots]

Could someone please give Berkman back his balls.  It pulls on the heart strings watching him so inept with the bat this year.

[cougar]

Yep. Just finished menopause this morning.  And I prefer Kools.

Now Andy, at a certain age your body will start going through some changes.  They're nothing to be scared of.  In fact, they're a sign that you're growing up.

[Alkie]

Holy shit!  Look what I found!  This picture is only 8 years and 60 pounds ago! 

[Andyzipp]

It pulls on the heart strings

Looks like someone else is going through a change of life, pots.  Welcome.

[Andyzipp]

horrible camera angle for Yvette.

[Alkie]

horrible camera angle for Yvette.

They have her mic turned up too high too.

[mihoba]

horrible camera angle for Yvette.

I feel cheated.

[EasTexAstro]

I feel cheated.

I'd take that angle...

[Alkie]

How about Jason Fucking Jennings this evening ladies and gentlemen?

[Andyzipp]

How about Jason Fucking Jennings this evening ladies and gentlemen?

Overcame the shaky start.

[Fredia]

he has miller warming up?

[EasTexAstro]

How about Jason Fucking Jennings this evening ladies and gentlemen?

Sharp.

He's looking #2-ish.....

[mihoba]

he has miller warming up?

And Lidge.

[Andyzipp]

Is putting Teri Hatcher's bony ass on a commerical for SWA flights to California supposed to encourage me to stay away from the state?

[Alkie]

Sharp.

He's looking #2-ish.....

Agreed.  He looks guarantee-ish.

[Amy]

How about Jason Fucking Jennings this evening ladies and gentlemen?

Liking him after the first.  Hope he keeps it up all season.

[Alkie]

Is putting Teri Hatcher's bony ass on a commerical for SWA flights to California supposed to encourage me to stay away from the state?

THANK YOU. 

For years, I've wondered why she was in the ad.  She doesn't make me think "wow, there are women like that in California?  How fast can I get there?  Do I feel lucky?  Well, do I?"

[Matt]

I always wonder why the fuck they show those commercials IN California.  I'm here already, you can't have any more of my money goddamnit.

[EasTexAstro]

Before this all gets out of hand.....nice matchup tonight.

[Andyzipp]

I always wonder why the fuck they show those commercials IN California.  I'm here already, you can't have any more of my money goddamnit.

You know you wanna take a trip to Bakersfield.  Who wouldn't?

[Alkie]

I always wonder why the fuck they show those commercials IN California.  I'm here already, you can't have any more of my money goddamnit.

You wanna know what I don't get?

Why TEXAS MONTHLY sends me emails once a week begging me to sign up for a chance to win a vacation to Colorado.

If I wanted to fucking go to Colorado, I would go.  I subscribe to Texas Monthly to be more insulated, not to be reminded of that fucking state that all my scalawag friends and family moved to. 

[JaneDoe]

I always wonder why the fuck they show those commercials IN California.  I'm here already, you can't have any more of my money goddamnit.

They show them in California?  How comical.

[Amy]

I always wonder why the fuck they show those commercials IN California.  I'm here already, you can't have any more of my money goddamnit.

I always wonder why they show all those Sonic commercials in Virginia when we don't have any Sonics here.  Fuckers just make me hungry for Sonic and I can't do anything about it.

[JaneDoe]

I always wonder why they show all those Sonic commercials in Virginia when we don't have any Sonics here.  Fuckers just make me hungry for Sonic and I can't do anything about it.

No Sonics?  I assume no Dairy Queens either?

[Andyzipp]

I always wonder why they show all those Sonic commercials in Virginia when we don't have any Sonics here.  Fuckers just make me hungry for Sonic and I can't do anything about it.

no one is Hungry for Sonic.  Sonic is not something you seek out.  It's a place you end up.

[Alkie]

HippieSnatch in to blow the game.

[Matt]

They show them in California?  How comical.

Not just on national cable channels but on the local just above public access channels.  And Bakersfield?  Do not want.

[Amy]

No Sonics?  I assume no Dairy Queens either?

We do have a Dairy Queen here in Fredericksburg, although I don't remember seeing any north of here, except the one in Stafford that closed down a while back.

[Matt]

I always wonder why they show all those Sonic commercials in Virginia when we don't have any Sonics here.  Fuckers just make me hungry for Sonic and I can't do anything about it.

We have 1 Sonic in southern california and get all the commercials too.  But oddly enough all the Dairy Queens are brand spanking new.

[pots]

Looks like someone else is going through a change of life, pots.  Welcome.

Saw the movie Rocky Balboa over the weekend.  Yup, feeling old.  

[Andyzipp]

HippieSnatch in to blow the game.

How long for Lucas to mention his undergarments?

[Savage]

I always wonder why they show all those Sonic commercials in Virginia when we don't have any Sonics here.  Fuckers just make me hungry for Sonic and I can't do anything about it.

Ah, but there are.  One in Fredericksburg, a few south of richmond and a few in the williamsburg area.  It frightens me that i know that.

[Amy]

Shitfuck.  Here we go again with White.  I'm tired of this shit.

[Matt]

Leonidas not in on the guarantee

[mihoba]

HippieSnatch in to blow the game.

Garner has to pull him NOW dammit!!

[JaneDoe]

I do NOT want White to blow this game. 

[Alkie]

I remember when Rick White didn't suck, before he found his rib muscles. 

White released.  Randolph back up.

[Amy]

Ah, but there are.  One in Fredericksburg, a few south of richmond and a few in the williamsburg area.  It frightens me that i know that.

A Sonic in Fredericksburg???  NO WAY!  I've looked it up before on their website and didn't see one within two hours of here.

[Andyzipp]

Garner has to pull him NOW dammit!!

Done.

We gotta get you outta here before someone asks about the crust in your drawers.

[JaneDoe]

c'mon reverT!

[JaneDoe]

I remember when Rick White didn't suck, before he found his rib muscles. 

White released.  Randolph back up.

Sounds good.  Call Garner.

[Alkie]

Sounds good.  Call Garner.

Don't think it's his call.

[Anit]

and here comes lidge..bases loaded, no outs..

[JaneDoe]

Lidge?  NOW? 

My 10 year old just called Grand Salami.  He better be wrong.

[mihoba]

Blind fucking ump Rob Drake. That was a strike!

reverT was squeezed on his B-Day.

[pots]

Damn first you leave the room to take a piss and Shite happens.    

Umm, where was strike 3?  bullshit.  Griffey was out.

[Andyzipp]

Don't think it's his call.

I can name at least 8 players that wouldn't be in the org if it was Garner's call.

[Amy]

Well, I guess we're going to find out if Lidge is really getting his act together.

[EasTexAstro]

Blind fucking ump Rob Drake. That was a strike!

reverT was squeezed on his B-Day.

Agree. Nice pitch by Miller.

[Savage]

A Sonic in Fredericksburg???  NO WAY!  I've looked it up before on their website and didn't see one within two hours of here.

10045 JEFFERSON DAVIS HIGHWAY.  good times.

[dirty steve]

nice slider to phillips--needs to finish him off now.

[Alkie]

I can name at least 8 players that wouldn't be in the org if it was Garner's call.

GO!

[JaneDoe]

6th inning.  Already used 4 pitchers. 

[austro]

I can name at least 8 players that wouldn't be in the org if it was Garner's call.

Come on, don't hold back.

[Amy]

10045 JEFFERSON DAVIS HIGHWAY.  good times.

I looked it up and found that too.  It's down near Massaponnax, which explains why I haven't seen it.  I never go down there.  It must be fairly new.

[Andyzipp]

nice slider to phillips--needs to finish him off now.

hard to finish off a guy on a 1-1 count.

[austro]

That was one nice FB on 3-1.

[Anit]

HUGE K

lets all pray for a double play

[JaneDoe]

We got a call there. 

[Amy]

Fuck yeah!  Now, double play ball!

[Alkie]

FUCKING.  HUGE.

[pots]

Sweet struck out Phillips with 6 balls!  5 may have been a strike

[austro]

Oooh, payback.  Looked like it could have been called a checked swing to me.

[dirty steve]

hard to finish off a guy on a 1-1 count.

ok-aware you need two more strikes after one strike to garner a K.

[Andyzipp]

Come on, don't hold back.

  oddly enough, only a couple of them have played in Houston so far tonight.

[Alkie]

Damn you, HippieSnatch.  You owe me a Guarantee.  Fucker.

[EasTexAstro]

We got a call there. 

He swung, but Jr should have been out.

Ump has a tough job, I know.

Lidge looks sharp.

[dirty steve]

seeing some 2004-05 movement from 54 tonight

[Andyzipp]

Yeah, that Brad Ausmus is worthless...

[Anit]

1 run out of the situation is not bad at all..

lidge did a good job

[Amy]

Thank you Twinkie!!  Pretty good show for Lidge.

[pots]

Wow, Lance can move when he gets his weight going!

[dirty steve]

Berkman known more for his glove now?  nice grab in foul ground to end the top half of the sixth.

[Phil_in_CS]

bases loaded, no one out, one run scores. That's not bad, assuming you can score some runs on your own.

[EasTexAstro]

Berkman...nice play.

Yeah, ya got to expect a RFer to make that play, but still very nice.

[pots]

..and Jennings probably is pissed...

[pravata]

Anybody else notice that runners keep going as long as Pence has the ball ?

[Andyzipp]

Berkman known more for his glove now?  nice grab in foul ground to end the top half of the sixth.

Berkman is not a bad outfielder.   He's by no means graceful, or what you would call orthodox, but he's effective.

[Amy]

Yeah, that Brad Ausmus is worthless...

I love watching Brad block pitches in the dirt.  Really, other than throwing out runners, his work behind the plate is a joy to watch.  It scares me to think about anyone else catching Lidge.

[EasTexAstro]

Anybody else notice that runners keep going as long as Pence has the ball ?

Haven't watched enough to know, but it seems you have a great point....

[austro]

Yup. If lard-ass Griffey can go first-to-second on that fly...

[Lefty]

Anybody else notice that runners keep going as long as Pence has the ball ?

That was a horrible, horrible throw.  Even worse positioning before it.

[Andyzipp]

Anybody else notice that runners keep going as long as Pence has the ball ?

Gonna run on him until he proves he can throw people out.

[Alkie]

I grow tired of Raup Jr Jr. 

[dirty steve]

Berkman is not a bad outfielder.   He's by no means graceful, or what you would call orthodox, but he's effective.

kind of like Lee?  i'll take that.

[pravata]

Gonna run on him until he proves he can throw people out.

AZ went nuts.

[EasTexAstro]

Nice catch by Matt...

[austro]

  oddly enough, only a couple of them have played in Houston so far tonight.

Then I'd have to guess MoBerg and White, for those two. I assume Lane is another, but he hasn't played yet. Down in RR I'd assume Burke and maybe Nieve. That still leaves me 3 short.

[Amy]

Jesus H. Christ Mo, swing the fucking bat!!!

[Matt]

Jesus H. Christ Mo, swing the fucking bat!!!

Drink!

[Alkie]

GODDAMMIT, LADIES.  GET SOME FUCKING RUNS!!!!

Suck.  Suck.  Suck.

[Amy]

Drink!

Gotta get another beer.  Gar needs to pull Mo.  I'll only have two beers left after I go get one now.

[austro]

GODDAMMIT, LADIES.  GET SOME FUCKING RUNS!!!!

Sorry, already got tonight's quota.

[Alkie]

Astros are averaging .48 fewer runs per game than LAST year. 

That's amazing. 

[Matt]

Iceberg might as well go up there without a bat.

[Alkie]

Does Anyone Remember.......Astros reliever Dan Wheeler?

[Andyzipp]

Does Anyone Remember.......Astros reliever Dan Wheeler?

He's on the Clemens family plan.  Wheeler only shows up when it's his turn to pitch.  It hasn't been his turn in 8 nights.

[Alkie]

It hasn't been his turn in 8 nights.

Hence my question.

[JaneDoe]

Qualls comes through like nails.

[Amy]

Hence my question.

I thought I remembered him getting some work in one of those miserable games in Arizona.

[Andyzipp]

ooh...Dario Franchitti!  As if Dollar Nitrate Stick night wasn't enough...

[Andyzipp]

I thought I remembered him getting some work in one of those miserable games in Arizona.

I don't recall any games being played in Arizona. 

[EasTexAstro]

Iceberg might as well go up there without a bat.

He's got 1/3 of the Astros hits tonight, battig 1 for 3. He got some tough pitches on his last K.

[Amy]

Damn!  That's one of the best swings I've seen Lance take in a while.  The other was the one he nailed Webb with in Arizona.  Got nothing for either one of them.

[Matt]

He's got 1/3 of the Astros hits tonight, battig 1 for 3. He got some tough pitches on his last K.

He looked at three straight and got lucky the first two weren't called strikes when they very well could have been.  The last one of course was.

[Alkie]

Inning ending GIDP.  Pence, you are a true Astro now.

[The Spleen]

Inning ending GIDP.  Pence, you are a true Astro now.

When Pence returns to mere mortal status... the pain train is really going to pick up speed...

[Amy]

Go Bradley!!

[Andyzipp]

Hopper no get a gud yump dere.

[EasTexAstro]

AE is fun to watch.

Most SS would not have had a close play.

Nice CS by Brad.

[JaneDoe]

Gosh darn it Qualls.

[Amy]

Shitfuck.

[Andyzipp]

Fuck...

[Alkie]

Suck.  On ice.

[Andyzipp]

A win now is going to require (one would think) at least two hits.  I don't know if two more hits is going to be doable.

[Alkie]

So, congratulations Mark and Jim.  Sleep well. 

Traitors.

[EasTexAstro]

Q was nasty finishing that inning off.

[EasTexAstro]

So, congratulations Mark and Jim.  Sleep well. 

Traitors.

It will happen. Someone garaunteed the win.

[Alkie]

It will happen. Someone garaunteed the win.

I guaranteed the win for Jennings.

Worst-team-in-baseball, here we come!

[EasTexAstro]

I guaranteed the win for Jennings.

Worst-team-in-baseball, here we come!

slut

[JaneDoe]

Albers may not get out of the 1st vs Fresno tonight.  Single, double, double, walk, walk.

[Alkie]

slut

Me?  I'm not the one secretly rooting for the Reds tonight.

[Amy]

It's pretty sad when knowing you've got the top of the lineup coming up in the ninth doesn't give you any encouragement at all.

[mihoba]

NOW the good guys can rally.

[Amy]

Ooooh, Cincy bullpen meat!  Now that is encouraging.

[Alkie]

YIPPEE!!!

BELISLE IS GONE!

CAULIFLOWER (that's the best I can do) COMES IN TO PITCH!

[austro]

Ok, here comes the Cincy bullpen. We still have a chance!

[EasTexAstro]

Me?  I'm not the one secretly rooting for the Reds tonight.

You jumped to the winning team. You spelled gauranteed correctly. You are no longer my hero.

[Alkie]

Ok, here comes the Cincy bullpen. We still have a chance!

Not a chance.   This game is over.  Astros win.  I GUARANTEE IT.

[EasTexAstro]

It's pretty sad when knowing you've got the top of the lineup coming up in the ninth doesn't give you any encouragement at all.

I'm excited.

[Alkie]

You jumped to the winning team. You spelled gauranteed correctly. You are no longer my hero.

What are you talking about?  I'm not jumping to shit.  I didn't go to HS with or coach Belisle, I don't give a rats ass what he does.  I've rooted for and called the Astros the whole game.

Until Rick White came in.

[austro]

Who described Lane's swing as looking "like he's trying to hit himself"? I can't help but think of that every time I see him.

[JaneDoe]

Wait a minute.  Scott didn't get to bat, and he brought in Lame?

[Andyzipp]

Lane...obviously getting extra hitting along with Ensberg.

[Alkie]

Someone explain to me again what Jason Lane does for this club.

[EasTexAstro]

What are you talking about?  I'm not jumping to shit.  I didn't go to HS with or coach Belisle, I don't give a rats ass what he does.  I've rooted for and called the Astros the whole game.

Until Rick White came in.

You don't like whites?

[austro]

Someone explain to me again what Jason Lane does for this club.

He rides the pine so that somebody in AAA can get playing time every day. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it.

[Amy]

I think Scott was announced, wasn't he?  So Gar burned two pinch hitters for that shit.

[Alkie]

You don't like whites?

Some would say I don't like no peoples.

[EasTexAstro]

Someone explain to me again what Jason Lane does for this club.

His last name begins with an "L".

[JaneDoe]

Someone explain to me again what Jason Lane does for this club.

He takes the heat off Palmiero.

[Alkie]

Our closer comes in in a non-save situation to blow this game WIDE open.

Pence with another totally unnecessary jump.

[Amy]

Goddamn Dunn hit that a long way.  Nice play by PENCE!!!

[JaneDoe]

Wheeler looks good for not having much work lately. 

[Andyzipp]

Our closer comes in in a non-save situation to blow this game WIDE open.

Pence with another totally unnecessary jump.

Pence!  Ahhhh Ah!  He'll save every one of us!

[Lefty]

Pence with another totally unnecessary jump.

But he kicked his heels up for bonus style points.

[EasTexAstro]

Pence!  Ahhhh Ah!  He'll save every one of us!

Queen?

[JaneDoe]

But he kicked his heels up for bonus style points.

I don't care what he looks like doing it, as long as he CATCHES them.

[Lefty]

Someone explain to me again what Jason Lane does for this club.

With Lamb & Loretta getting starts, is there a worse bench in MLB?

[Andyzipp]

Did Lucas just say "we have the right guys coming up" and then mention Ensberg?  Really?

[JaneDoe]

Did Lucas just say "we have the right guys coming up" and then mention Ensberg?  Really?

He did.

[Lefty]

Did Lucas just say "we have the right guys coming up" and then mention Ensberg?  Really?

Vegas O/U on swings this AB:  1.5

[EasTexAstro]

Vegas O/U on swings this AB:  1.5

Mo gets contact....

[Amy]

Yes!

[Andyzipp]

Is it possible for Ensberg to hit into a double play without swinging the bat?

[Lefty]

Mo gets contact....

Brilliant!

[T. J.]

Shit, he had him at second if he just threw it.

[EasTexAstro]

Brilliant!

I'll take it.

[Amy]

Shit, he had him at second if he just threw it.

Whose side are you on?

[T. J.]

Whose side are you on?

Just sayin'. 

[JaneDoe]

Shit, he had him at second if he just threw it.

Traitor.

[Alkie]

Shit, he had him at second if he just threw it.

You coach Belisle in HS too?

[T. J.]

Traitor.

Alright in rereading my comment, that doesn't sound right.  I admit it.  I meant to type "SHIT, what a terrible bunt!  He could've possibly bunted into a double play if they hadn't screwed it up!  Good thing the Reds don't know how to play baseball."

Better?

[gwat]

In a last ditch effort to change our fortune, I have gotten off of the couch and succumbed to cleanup chores around the house. I have my rally apron on. That means I am wearing it like a cape.

[EasTexAstro]

Shit, he had him at second if he just threw it.

He didn't. He took the sure out. The Astros wanted him to take the sure out. If he had taken a chance on second, thart would have made it a different discussion. Mo did what he was asked to do. Take it.

[mihoba]

Loretta is a cool as a cucumber mofo

C'mon Berkman!

[T. J.]

Ahh....that's the Tackleberry I remember.

[Lefty]

Loretta is a cool as a cucumber mofo

THAT is how you approach a pressure 2-strike situation.

[Andyzipp]

Twinkie no loook good against Weathers in his career...

[EasTexAstro]

Damn. Berk is not swinging well.

[Amy]

Come on Lance, be the ball!

[JaneDoe]

Damn. Berk is not swinging well.

Why does he swing at ball 2?

[Lefty]

Twinkie no loook good against Weathers in his career...

You almost hope for Lee w/ 2 outs here.  Almost.

Fuck 'em in the ear, Lance.

[T. J.]

Yay.

[Alkie]

Just.  Elevate.  Ball.

[Andyzipp]

Now the dreaded runner on 3rd with only one out.

[JaneDoe]

UGH    GIDP

[Alkie]

This team absolutely blows.  GOD.  Fucking.  DAMMIT.

[Amy]

MOTHERFUCKER!!  AARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[EasTexAstro]

Lee is complaining about the first pitch?

Wow. Tough ending.

[Andyzipp]

Double fuck.

[Lefty]

Now the dreaded runner on 3rd with only one out.

Unbelievable. 

Well, no so much.

[T. J.]

I cannot believe it.  Well, then again, yes I can.

[dholi]

unbelievable

[JaneDoe]

Alkie.  I need a refund form for my guaranteed win.

[Alkie]

Alkie.  I need a refund form for my guaranteed win.

I really thought we'd win tonight.

This team sucks beyond anything I imagined in ST.  And I told anyone who would listen that I thought we were a 4th place team at best.

We need new players.  This roster sucks ass, Tim.  Sucks.  Changes.  Now. 

[Amy]

If I were an Astros player right now, I would be taking a bat to a water cooler or something.  Damage would be done.

[Alkie]

I would be taking a bat to a water cooler or something. 

Odds are you'd miss entirely.  Or just look at the water cooler as you walked past it.

[Anit]

Odds are you'd miss entirely.  Or just look at the water cooler as you walked past it.

10/10

[MRaup]

I really thought we'd win tonight.

This team sucks beyond anything I imagined in ST.  And I told anyone who would listen that I thought we were a 4th place team at best.

We need new players.  This roster sucks ass, Tim.  Sucks.  Changes.  Now. 

I don't know how you can complain about the players in that game...

We had our money RBI guy up with the bases full and less than 2 outs, and he GIDP.

Snatched defeat from the jaws of victory (or at least a tie).

[EasTexAstro]

The team is not this bad. I want to think Lance will get on track and the offense will start getting things clicking. There was some life up to the end with a struggling team. Call me a homer, homer, but that could have been a win in a well played game by both teams.

[Alkie]

The team is not this bad.

IT'S ALMOST JUNE.  THIS TEAM IS EXACTLY THIS BAD.

[JaneDoe]

The team is not this bad. I want to think Lance will get on track and the offence will start getting things clicking. There was some life up to the end with a struggling team. Call me a homer, homer, but that could have been a win in a well played game by both teams.

Yeah, I want to think Lance will get on track, too. 

[The Spleen]

The water cooler's line tonight:

IP H R ER BB SO HR
7  3 1  0   2   8   0

A few more performances like that and maybe we can throw it into the Willis trade...

[EasTexAstro]

IT'S ALMOST JUNE.  THIS TEAM IS EXACTLY THIS BAD.

BS. They are below .500 now. They are a solid .500 team.

[remy]

Is this team fucking allergic to winning, or what?  Jesus christ.  At least they're not blowing 9th inning leads.  That's the only thing that would suck more.

[Alkie]

BS. They are below .500 now. They are a solid .500 team.

The hell do you base this on?

Look, after two months, this team is what it is.  WhatEVER that is.  This team is a below average team.  It happens.  You can't come in 1st or 2nd every season. 

[EasTexAstro]

The hell do you base this on?

Look, after two months, this team is what it is.  WhatEVER that is.  This team is a below average team.  It happens.  You can't come in 1st or 2nd every season. 

I base it on the fact that from the 4 games I have seen this year, there is life there. I WILL be watching more this year. The offense will start coming together. The pitching is good enough, The defense....lacks.

It will happen, though, The Astros will start making their run in June. It happens. Deal with it.

[MusicMan]

I don't know how you can complain about the players in that game...

We had our money RBI guy up with the bases full and less than 2 outs, and he GIDP.

Snatched defeat from the jaws of victory (or at least a tie).

Our leadoff man was Morgan Fucking Ensberg.

And he was the most logical choice.

Jason Lane saw the plate in a game situation.

I can blame the roster for those.

[Alkie]

Sounds like a wager.

[JaneDoe]

At least Lidge looked good tonight. 

[mihoba]

I base it on the fact that from the 4 games I have seen this year, there is life there. I WILL be watching more this year. The offense will start coming together. The pitching is good enough, The defense....lacks.

It will happen, though, The Astros will start making their run in June. It happens. Deal with it.

I could see them reversing the 20-30 record over June and July, ready for the stretch run at .500.

If Lance starts driving the ball.

[Alkie]

If Lance start driving the ball.

How much longer do we keep saying this?

[JaneDoe]

If Lance start driving the ball.

Right now that is a motherfing big IF.

[EasTexAstro]

I could see them reversing the 20-30 record over June and July, ready for the stretch run at .500.

If Lance start driving the ball.

In my opinion, that is all it takes to get the bats warming up again. If the big bat, Lance, starts getting it going, it takes the pressure off the other guys to try and carry more than their weight.

[EasTexAstro]

How much longer do we keep saying this?

It starts this week.

[remy]

It starts this week.

I'm tired of false guarantees from well-wishing forum posters!

[EasTexAstro]

I'm tired of false guarantees from well-wishing forum posters!

Put me on ignore. You miss absolutely nothing.

[JaneDoe]

Put me on ignore. You miss absolutely nothing.

You don't give yourself enough credit.

[pots]

Wow, maybe it's time to not shake up the lineup. no balls to run the same 8, in the same order, out there tomorrow.

[pots]

Well it could be worse.  They could be paying 200 mil and have about the same record

[MusicMan]

Well it could be worse.  They could be paying 200 mil and have about the same record

I don't give a shit how much they're paying... it's not my money.

A shitty team is a shitty team.

[EasTexAstro]

You don't give yourself enough credit.

Thank you, but yes I do. I do not know baseball enough. I will say what I see. I see a team that is struggling offensively because the players that need to perform are not doing it, but they will. Once they do, the other members of the lineup could fall into place.

The pitchers, then, will be able to do their jobs without trying to carry the whole load.

It could happen....or not. I believe it will, at least to some extent. There are certainly some changes that could be made to make this happen. I am not smart enough to know what those changes need to be.