Gints @ Astros - 5/16/07

[homer]

San Francisco

Winn, CF
Lewis, RF
Klesko, 1B
Bonds, LF
Durham, 2B
Molina, C
Feliz, 3B
Vizquel, SS
Lowry, P

Houston

Biggio, 2B
Loretta, 3B
Berkman, 1B
Lee, LF
Lane, RF
Pence, CF
Everett, SS
Ausmus, C
Sampson, P

[Phil_in_CS]

That's pretty much the line up coach wanted the other day

ETA: he had Scott in right.

[Sambito]

Hey hey hey; fat albers

[Phil_in_CS]

did they switch back to Albers?

[MRaup]

I need professional help. I can't stop watching this Bruce Campbell commercial.

[MRaup]

That's pretty much the line up coach wanted the other day

ETA: he had Scott in right.

Garner has to start at least one of his projects every game...

[Lurch]

did they switch back to Albers?

Nope.  Sampson stretching

[Ty in Tampa]

I need professional help. I can't stop watching this Bruce Campbell commercial.

It's OK to succumb to his coolness. Floooow with it.

[Ty in Tampa]

They made Sampson take off his hospital bracelet. That sucks.

[Ty in Tampa]

Lewis triples to center. 1 out.

[homer]

Hunter looked like shit on that line drive.

[Ty in Tampa]

Hunter looked like shit on that line drive.

Burke-like.

[Ty in Tampa]

Donut Truck doubles. Run scores. 1-0 Gints.

[Ty in Tampa]

FrankenBarry walks. 1st and 2nd. 1 out.

[LonghornCDR]

Gints broadcast just replayed the Springer/Bonds AB from last year.  It was guh-lorious.

[Ty in Tampa]

Durham 4-6-3 DP 1-0 Gints. Mid 1st.

[Ty in Tampa]

Biggio 4-3. 1-out.

[Ty in Tampa]

Loretta dribbler 1-3. 2 out.

[Ty in Tampa]

Berkman chop 1-3 Inning over.

1-0 Giants. End of 1.

[LonghornCDR]

I need professional help. I can't stop watching this Bruce Campbell commercial.

It is pure genius.  Saw it for the first time last night and was mesmerized.  Thanks for the link.

[Ty in Tampa]

Molina FO 9. 1 out.

Feliz up...

[Ty in Tampa]

Feliz FO 9. 2 outs.

Vizquel up...

[Ty in Tampa]

Vizquel FO 6. Inning over.

1-0 Gints Mid 2.

[Ty in Tampa]

Lee FO 8. 1 down.

[Ty in Tampa]

Great diving play by Lewis in right on Jason Lane liner.

2 out.

[Ty in Tampa]

PENCE!!! singles to right. 4-game hit streak for Huntah.

2 out.

[Ty in Tampa]

Everett 5-4 FC. End of 2

1-0 Gints.

[Ty in Tampa]

Anyone needing this PBP? I can do 1 more inning.

[Phil_in_CS]

I've got a radio, so I don't need PBP... but anything Milo's likely to miss I'd like to hear about.

ETA: unlike ETA, I don't have a big screen at the office.

[Lurch]

I've got a radio, so I don't need PBP... but anything Milo's likely to miss I'd like to hear about.

I'll give you the score then

[T. J.]

I need professional help. I can't stop watching this Bruce Campbell commercial.

And I always thought it was "I'm lost and I'm found". 

Thanks for the link.

[T. J.]

Ok, is anybody on here in Houston, watching this on channel 302 in HD with a DVR?  I asked this last night, and nobody responded, but for some reason I can't rewind anything on this channel.  This is the first time this has ever happened, and it only seems to happen on 302.  Is this only affecting me?  Can you rewind and replay anything?

[Lurch]

Ok, is anybody on here in Houston, watching this on channel 302 in HD with a DVR?  I asked this last night, and nobody responded, but for some reason I can't rewind anything on this channel.  This is the first time this has ever happened, and it only seems to happen on 302.  Is this only affecting me?  Can you rewind and replay anything?

Have you tried "recording" it and watching the recording?

[T. J.]

Have you tried "recording" it and watching the recording?

No, but that's not really the point.  I'm supposed to be able to (and on EVERY other channel I've ever had I can) rewind, pause, etc. live TV.  I can't on this channel.  Since 302 only shows up about every 4th Tuesday, I can't tell if it's just this channel, just me, or what.

[T. J.]

Have you tried "recording" it and watching the recording?

And you really did change your screen name, I see.  I don't think there was that much confusion.

[T. J.]

Is it just me, or does Barry look like a fat Bill Cosby?

[homer]

Bonds looked fucking awful in that at bat.

[mihoba]

Sampson made Bonds look like crap, throwing hooks when Bonds was expecting fastballs. Fun stuff.

[LonghornCDR]

Is it just me, or does Barry look like a fat Bill Cosby?

Mmmmm.... pudding pops.

[mihoba]

Jumping Loretta. The man makes things happen when he's in there.

[Lurch]

This Loretta kid might just make it one day

[BatGirl]

Hello all!

It's my first time in the Game Zone, so I'm not sure if this has been discussed...
But I noticed that as soon as PENCE! came up, Berkman stopped pulling his pants up over his calves to show his socks.  Coincidence?  

[homer]

TRAIN TRACKS.

[Phil_in_CS]

wow

[matadorph]

PENCE!!! WITH THE MASSIVE LOAD

[mihoba]

PENCE!!! He slammed that FB on the train tracks!

[Lurch]

Hung change up?

[LonghornCDR]

Of all the games ESPN could have picked when their primetime game got rained out, they chose the TB vs Texas softball game at Disney World.  Hate those guys.

[mihoba]

JD said if last night's homer from PENCE!!! was worth a chicken sandwich, this one was worth the whole bird.

[mihoba]

Hello all!

It's my first time in the Game Zone, so I'm not sure if this has been discussed...
But I noticed that as soon as PENCE! came up, Berkman stopped pulling his pants up over his calves to show his socks.  Coincidence? 

Twinkie needed more places to hide snacks.

Welcome, BTW.

[matadorph]

This Loretta kid might just make it one day

Great AB by Loretta. I so wish Iceberg could do that.

[dirty steve]

faster HR trot, Bluebonnet or PENCE!!!  ?

[chuck]

JD said if last night's homer from PENCE!!! was worth a chicken sandwich, this one was worth the whole bird.

My internets connection is fucked up today so I have to listen to the game over the internets rather than watch it. Any time JD says something like this I would appreciate it if you'd share, thanks.

On another note the shitheads at mlb.com have decided it's a good idea to run a fucking commercial prior to getting any of the actual broadcast. Never mind that I am paying a monthly fee for this "service." So as I spend an hour or so fucking around with my connection trying to get the viddya to work I have to endure 30 seconds of this motherfucking Dicks Sporting Goods commercial [every time I refresh the connection]. Goddamn these motherfuckers at MLB. Every one of them.

Although every time I wipe my ass I now think of Bud Selig. That has to count as a positive.

[BatGirl]

Twinkie needed more places to hide snacks.

Welcome, BTW.

Ha!  thanks...i'm in and out...got a 5 1/2 month-old that requests my attention quite frequently!

[dirty steve]

berkman with a couple of nice diving plays at first--hope he didnt bruise his thigh rolling over on his seeds.

[Ty in Tampa]

My internets connection is fucked up today so I have to listen to the game over the internets rather than watch it. Any time JD says something like this I would appreciate it if you'd share, thanks.

On another note the shitheads at mlb.com have decided it's a good idea to run a fucking commercial prior to getting any of the actual broadcast. Never mind that I am paying a monthly fee for this "service." So as I spend an hour or so fucking around with my connection trying to get the viddya to work I have to endure 30 seconds of this motherfucking Dicks Sporting Goods commercial. Goddamn these motherfuckers at MLB. Every one of them.

Although every time I wipe my ass I now think of Bud Selig. That has to count as a positive.

They're showing that fucking commercial every half inning. I wonder if joshua dicks is related.

They're also showing us a quivering pencil in a pencil sharpener between innings. Sharp tacks over there at MLB.TV.

[dirty steve]

better yet--better adult film stache, kent or glenn davis.

[EasTexAstro]

I've got a radio, so I don't need PBP... but anything Milo's likely to miss I'd like to hear about.

ETA: unlike ETA, I don't have a big screen at the office.

...and I can't get to the office.

Thanks for the PBP. I am trying to catch up on what happened.

[homer]

Second time Lewis has been rung up looking.

[mihoba]

Sampson froze the rookie with that backdoor bender. Sweet.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Initially I had my doubts but I'm starting to think bringing Pence up was a good idea.

[homer]

Ole!

[mihoba]

Biggio with a roller up the middle on the 2B side, Durham forgot to bend over for it, ruled an error. Where is the homer scorekeep?

[EasTexAstro]

Ha!  thanks...i'm in and out...got a 5 1/2 month-old that requests my attention quite frequently!

congrats. You have a future of wonder ahead of you.

[mihoba]

Good thing Berkman has a glove.

[chuck]

They're showing that fucking commercial every half inning. I wonder if joshua dicks is related.

They're also showing us a quivering pencil in a pencil sharpener between innings. Sharp tacks over there at MLB.TV.

I bet you I scrambled to mute that fucking Dicks commercial 30 times as I tried to figure out a way to get a video feed to stream. No, they aren't going to Mensa meetings looking for new employees.

I know it's heretical but I sort of started to feel sorry for that Joshua Dicks kid after he inevitably relented with the "Ha ha, I was just kidding, you didn't think I meant that, did you?" bit. Come on, son, you have to bring it stronger than that. If you have something to say that everyone thinks is fucking stupid, say it, take your lumps and move on. We don't all have our best stuff every day. But take a lesson from it and move forward. The 'You Didn't think I was serious?' defense is about as limp dick as you can get.

[T. J.]

Hello all!

It's my first time in the Game Zone, so I'm not sure if this has been discussed...
But I noticed that as soon as PENCE! came up, Berkman stopped pulling his pants up over his calves to show his socks.  Coincidence? 

Berkman always goes between socks up and socks down.  Probably a superstition kinda thing.  Although I think it should be a law that they all wear 'em like Pence!!!  With stirrups, preferably.

[T. J.]

Fans holding up "*" signs.  Pretty creative.

[mihoba]

Fans holding up "*" signs.  Pretty creative.

BALCO, when 315' is not enough.

[BatGirl]

congrats. You have a future of wonder ahead of you.

you're right.  i'm already starting to wonder if i'm ever going to get a full night's sleep again!  but i would never complain, really, because it's amazing. she chills out and watches the game with me (if it's on) for a bit before her bedtime...she's the coolest chick i know.

[T. J.]

you're right.  i'm already starting to wonder if i'm ever going to get a full night's sleep again!  but i would never complain, really, because it's amazing. she chills out and watches the game with me (if it's on) for a bit before her bedtime...she's the coolest chick i know.

It'll happen (19 month old here).  Congratulations, and it's fun, isn't it?

[austro]

What are Berkman's numbers from the right side this year? It sure seems like he's struggled there.

[JSAstrosFan]

you're right.  i'm already starting to wonder if i'm ever going to get a full night's sleep again!  but i would never complain, really, because it's amazing. she chills out and watches the game with me (if it's on) for a bit before her bedtime...she's the coolest chick i know.

It might be a while for the sleep, but it's worth it. For our first it was about 2 months before we were getting a 6 hour stretch at night. Best thing we ever did was to start letting him cry himself to sleep. Two nights later he was asleep within a minute or two.

[Lefty]

Please oh please stop showing interviews with fans.

[chuck]

Wheeeoooeeoooohh fires and GOT HIM! LOOK AT LORETTA! I THINK HE'S FOUND A HOME AT THIRD!!!

Can someone give me a sensible explanation of what transpired there? Thanks.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

three for three

[mihoba]

Wheeeoooeeoooohh fires and GOT HIM! LOOK AT LORETTA! I THINK HE'S FOUND A HOME AT THIRD!!!

Can someone give me a sensible explanation of what transpired there? Thanks.

Feliz hit a hot shot to third, Loretta was playing deep. He fired to first to get him by 2 steps.

[Lurch]

Wheeeoooeeoooohh fires and GOT HIM! LOOK AT LORETTA! I THINK HE'S FOUND A HOME AT THIRD!!!

Can someone give me a sensible explanation of what transpired there? Thanks.

Loretta dropped to a knee and backhanded a shot down the 3b line.  Threw a dart to Lance for the out.

[austro]

Wheeeoooeeoooohh fires and GOT HIM! LOOK AT LORETTA! I THINK HE'S FOUND A HOME AT THIRD!!!

Can someone give me a sensible explanation of what transpired there? Thanks.

Hot smash just to Loretta's right. Cross-over step, glove down, long throw, runner down. It was hit hard, but like Pravata says, sometimes the reaction plays are easier.

[T. J.]

Wheeeoooeeoooohh fires and GOT HIM! LOOK AT LORETTA! I THINK HE'S FOUND A HOME AT THIRD!!!

Can someone give me a sensible explanation of what transpired there? Thanks.

Here was the call the other day when Biggio stole third:

"2-1 count........BLLLLLAAAARRGGHHH  WHOOOAAA AND HE'S GOING TO THIRD!!!!   HIGH THROW!!!  BIGGIO IS AT THIRD BASE!!!"

[austro]

I originally thought that third strike to Lee was completely bogus, but from the side view I no longer think it was high. Whether it was outside or not is still open to debate.

[T. J.]

three for three

six for six in the series

[mihoba]

I originally thought that third strike to Lee was completely bogus, but from the side view I no longer think it was high. Whether it was outside or not is still open to debate.

Molina framed it really well. Lee dropped his bat in disgust, HP ump Welke walked around Molina and got in Lee's grill. WTF? Carlos picked up his bat and shut up. Whew.

[austro]

Oh god, what are the odds that Ensberg watches a curve for strike three?

[Lefty]

This would be a very nice time for you to do something, Mo.

[Col. Sphinx Drummond]

Morgan to PH with 2 out and the bases juiced. I would almost rather see Sampson hit instead of Iceberg.

[T. J.]

Good job Chris, now get the hell to the showers and go home to mom and baby.

[EasTexAstro]

Sampson pitching a great game, bases loaded, 2 outs, up by 1 run.....

....and they pinch hit with Mo.

Well, I guess they have to pitch to Ensberg here. Doesn't mean he will try to do anything with it.

[chuck]

This is going to be entertaining. DoRay says "You like his patience."

Maybe YOU do.

[At Ease]

six for six in the series

We might even get a 1-2 day reprieve here from hearing how hopelessly overmatched he is...

[T. J.]

0-1, 0-2, weak pop.  Damn, Iceberg is done.

[LonghornCDR]

Why, Phil?

[austro]

Well, at least he swung the bat. There was no way Lowry was going to walk him.

[Matt]

He's getting to the point where he's even hurting the bench with his offense.

[chuck]

Another awesome game by one of the young starting pitchers, obviously. This team has some issues to resolve, but pitching in general does not seem to be one of them. That's a pretty decent foundation, whooeeeoooeeoooogh!

[EasTexAstro]

Why?

Mo is hitting .310 against lefties, though you would never guess it.

I suspect Sampson was tired and Garner wanted him out.

[homer]

Why, Phil?

Only right handed stick on the bench besides Q. I think.

[chuck]

No walks, Brad, come on, son. Bring it. One out, that's it.

[Jacksonian]

I really want someone to ask Purp directly why having Ensberg on the team is better than having Bruntlett.

[mihoba]

Why, Phil?

So he can't use him later?

Mo: 1-23 with 0 BBs in the last 10 days.

[LonghornCDR]

Only right handed stick on the bench besides Q. I think.

At this point, isn't Lamb vs. Lefty better than iceberg vs. anyone?

[homer]

Best thing about that 'Sounds of the Game' clip was Footer in the background. Fine looking woman.

[T. J.]

Nice job Brad.  That looked easy.

Just throw fucking strikes, and see what happens?

[T. J.]

Best thing about that 'Sounds of the Game' clip was Footer in the background. Fine looking woman.

Goddamit.  And I can't rewind.  (And none of you have answered me yet....dammit!)

[Phil_in_CS]

Best thing about that 'Sounds of the Game' clip was Footer in the background. Fine looking woman.

She needs to be on TV more. Most people that work print or radio, there's a reason why you don't see them.

[homer]

At this point, isn't Lamb vs. Lefty better than iceberg vs. anyone?

Yeah, but Ensberg is due.

[Bench]

Typical Lidge inning. This guy might be a great closer some day.

[chuck]

Fine looking woman.

Yes, but she needs to pick up the wardrobe a bit. She's nearly there.

If Ensberg is on the team you have to use him. If the team could get anything for him in a trade I think they probably would. My surmise is that they cannot, so what are your options?

[T. J.]

Your American Idol Final:  Blake and Jordan. 

[chuck]

Goddamit.  And I can't rewind.  (And none of you have answered me yet....dammit!)

I've been trying to but I can't get back to that part of the thread.

[LonghornCDR]

Your American Idol Final:  Blake and Jordan. 

Wow... quite an upset.

[homer]

Yes, but she needs to pick up the wardrobe a bit. She's nearly there.

Man, I was thinking that just the other day. Her wardrobe over the weekend when she was doing postgame made her look downright homely.

[T. J.]

I've been trying to but I can't get back to that part of the thread.

Frustrating, ain't it?

[chuck]

Your American Idol Final:  Blake and Jordan. 

So you're Jane Doe's husband? Huh.

[Lurch]

Best thing about that 'Sounds of the Game' clip was Footer in the background. Fine looking woman.

That was an HD gift since she was on the right side of the screen.  The rest of us only got to see her fro and the zebra outfit.

[mihoba]

Lance is now 10-37 batting righty with no power whatsoever.

[T. J.]

So you're Jane Doe's husband? Huh.

PIP still works, just not the DVR rewind.

[Jacksonian]

Yes, but she needs to pick up the wardrobe a bit. She's nearly there.

If Ensberg is on the team you have to use him. If the team could get anything for him in a trade I think they probably would. My surmise is that they cannot, so what are your options?

DFA

[homer]

If Ensberg is on the team you have to use him. If the team could get anything for him in a trade I think they probably would. My surmise is that they cannot, so what are your options?

Not having trade value seems unlikely. Not having as much as the Astros would like is probably the better guess. If BK Kim can be traded, or Langerhans, then so can Ensberg. I don't think Purp is ready to give him away just yet, and would rather wait it out.

[T. J.]

Sheeeit.  Caballo smoked that one for an out.

[chuck]

Man, I was thinking that just the other day. Her wardrobe over the weekend when she was doing postgame made her look downright homely.

I've wondered if she does this on purpose. Her dress is sort of, well... she needs some gay friends, can we agree on that? And those jeans that ride up to your ribcage? Yeah, they went out back about the time Bob Watson retired.

[T. J.]

1 pitch 1 out for Trever.  Keep it going bud.

[EasTexAstro]

I've wondered if she does this on purpose. Her dress is sort of, well... she needs some gay friends, can we agree on that? And those jeans that ride up to your ribcage? Yeah, they went out back about the time Bob Watson retired.

I like 'em.

[T. J.]

Donut Truck is hardly recognizable.  Did he go on Jenny Craig or something? 

[homer]

I've wondered if she does this on purpose. Her dress is sort of, well... she needs some gay friends, can we agree on that? And those jeans that ride up to your ribcage? Yeah, they went out back about the time Bob Watson retired.

No chick looks homely on purpose. Either they can't help it, or they don't know any better.

[T. J.]

foul-tip strikeout.  Attaboy.  Up steps Frankenbarry.

[homer]

That was an HD gift since she was on the right side of the screen.  The rest of us only got to see her fro and the zebra outfit.

HD is awesome.

[T. J.]

Easy out.  pop up to 2B.

[LonghornCDR]

No chick looks homely on purpose. Either they can't help it, or they don't know any better.

Revert has been nails lately.

[Jacksonian]

No chick looks homely on purpose. Either they can't help it, or they don't know any better.

Bulllllllshit.

[LonghornCDR]

Let's see how Wheels does when he can't afford to give up a HR and still get the save.

ETA:  I'd prefer to see some insurance to make my comment moot.

[homer]

Since Revert's 4 earny debacle on 5/1 in Cinci:

8G, 6IP, 3H, 0ER, 8K.

[chuck]

I like 'em.

My friend, when it comes to haute couture Jasper, Texas, is not exactly breathing down Paris' neck. That's Paris, France, Huckleberry, not Paris, Texas.

The low riding jeans give you a lot more truth in advertising. I think we have a quorum at this convocation - can we write this into the bylaws?

[Lurch]

Fans holding up "*" signs.  Pretty creative.

The P E N C E sign... not so much

[T. J.]

Fan sign:  Pence the Fence.  What the fuck does that even mean?  Why not Pence the Rents?  Or Pence the Gents?

Oh, by the way, 7-7 now.

[LonghornCDR]

en fuego

[chuck]

Bulllllllshit.

Yes. Most follow your script, Homer, but not all. Some, believe it or not, are a little intimidated by their power over us dumbasses. I have no idea why, and they really need to get with the program, but some chicks really try to hide or at least subdue their sexuality.

They must be stopped.

[mihoba]

My friend, when it comes to haute couture Jasper, Texas, is not exactly breathing down Paris' neck. That's Paris, France, Huckleberry, not Paris, Texas.

The low riding jeans give you a lot more truth in advertising. I think we have a quorum at this convocation - can we write this into the bylaws?

Hey, someone say Jasper?

[T. J.]

en fuego

BA is now tree-fiddy.

[T. J.]

My god, he's throwing some lollypop curves in there.  71MPH?  That's Oswaltesque.

[homer]

JD - "Those Molina boys sure can squat."
Brownie - "The squatting Molinas!"

[mihoba]

Brownie: The squating Molina brothers

[chuck]

If Hunter is going to get on base roughly 80% of the time perhaps he should bat ealier in the lineup. Just a thought.

[Lefty]

Since Revert's 4 earny debacle on 5/1 in Cinci:

8G, 6IP, 3H, 0ER, 8K.

LHB 2 for last 15, 7K

[MRaup]

If Hunter is going to get on base roughly 80% of the time perhaps he should bat ealier in the lineup. Just a thought.

Don't fuck with what works. He is mashing at 6, leave him at 6.

[T. J.]

Lowry:  121 pitches.

[Alkie]

Hi, do you know me?

My name's Alkie.  Let me tell you about my day.

This morning, I woke up like any other morning.  Put on my pants two legs at a time.  That sort of thing.  Went off to work, looking forward to lunch with some asshole knowitall from this site and a drive up to the ol' casita del rio for the long weekend. 

Sat down at my office and realized that only half of my monitor was working.  The other half was covered in stars.  Not like stickers stars or moving stars, but like a hazy colorful mass of nothingness.  Then I realized it wasn't my monitor, it was the whole room.  Then I realized I was having a migraine.  Not to worry, I figured, I'll just take my magic red migraine pills that I keep at my office for such an occasion.  I'll shotgun it with a Dr Pepper and be good as new.

20 minutes later, full of Dr Pepper and a pill the size of my thumb, I was now blind in both eyes.  This isn't good.  So I figure I better go home now, sleep it off, and get back in time for lunch with knowitall and then finish up work for the day to get up to the casita in time to install the DirecTV dish so I could watch the Astros at 7.  Sampson was slated to pitch another fucking gem (against the Giants no less). 

Go home, crawl in to bed and feel a little something extra.  Run to the bathroom and resurrect that Dr Pepper, cry for a while, wretch for a while, cry for a while, wish for death, wretch, cry, wish, wretch, try to sleep, ask my wife to kill me, and finally fall asleep at noon.

So much for lunch.

At 1:30, I woke up to a blackberry full of emails.  GREAT.  Guess I gotta go to fucking work. 

Drag my ass in, spend 3 hours on the phone talking to no one who hired us, and left.

Packed up the truck and took off.  Only 1.5 hours in Houston traffic.  Not bad. 

Finally get up here and find out our satellite dish doesn't work.  My wife's allergies are killing her.  My daughter is whining because there's nothing to do here, I am enjoying the Astros via AUTOREFRESH on my BlackBerry and the SA Express-News has called (I don't make this up) four times in the hour we've been here to welcome us to the neighborhood and sell me a sunday subscription to a paper that's actually worse than the Chronicle.

Anyway...1) what's going on in the game?  2) How did my boy look?  3) Does anyone out this way have a goddamn clue how to install a DirecTV antennae?  I thought I knew.  Apparently, I was wrong.

[MRaup]

Pence's hair apparently has continued to dribble fire onto his bat. He hit a traintrack shot home run earlier. 3-3 on the night.

Sampson was Good Sampson. Kept the ball down, got a lot of grounder outs, pitched out of trouble a few times.

Lidge was nasty in the top of the 8th.

Had 2 on in the 8th, but Scott dribbled one to 1st to end the threat.

[EasTexAstro]

My friend, when it comes to haute couture Jasper, Texas, is not exactly breathing down Paris' neck. That's Paris, France, Huckleberry, not Paris, Texas.

The low riding jeans give you a lot more truth in advertising. I think we have a quorum at this convocation - can we write this into the bylaws?

If I wanted to smell the aroma of ass from plummer-girl, Paris, France might be the solution. Give me the lady who doesn't have to just look good to keep me entertained. If Ms. Footer prefers to know baseball over what needs to be shaved before she goes out, and i can watch a decent interview from someone who doesn't need to rely on showing her hipbones to keep someone's attention....

[chuck]

3) Does anyone out this way have a goddamn clue how to install a DirecTV antennae?  I thought I knew.  Apparently, I was wrong.

Aim that son of a bitch to the south. Look for the Big Dipper and aim it the other way.

Your post must have taken quite a while to type on a cell phone.

[austro]

Pence's hair apparently has continued to dribble fire onto his bat. He hit a traintrack shot home run earlier. 3-3 on the night.

Sampson was Good Sampson. Kept the ball down, got a lot of grounder outs, pitched out of trouble a few times.

Lidge was nasty in the top of the 8th.

Had 2 on in the 8th, but Scott dribbled one to 1st to end the threat.

Wasn't Lidge the 7th (after pinch-hitting for Sampson in the bottom of the 6th)?  Miller took the 8th, and Wheeler has the 9th.

[T. J.]

My condolences Alkie.  My wife has a migraine about once/year (down from about 4-5 times/year when she was a teenager) and I know that's a terrible thing.  When some asshole is having a "regular" headache and says "Man, I have a migraine", I just think of my wife throwing up and lying silently in the closet so she has no sound/no lights around her.

Sampson looked great after the first.  Can't believe he did that on no sleep after baby number 1 was born about 40 hours ago.

Oh, and Pence is the second coming of Willie Mays.

[MRaup]

Wasn't Lidge the 7th (after pinch-hitting for Sampson in the bottom of the 6th)?  Miller took the 8th, and Wheeler has the 9th.

Yup, you are correct. I was all kinds of confused with innings and who pitched.

Thank you.

[Anit]

Pence's hair apparently has continued to dribble fire onto his bat. He hit a traintrack shot home run earlier. 3-3 on the night.

hes actually 4-4

[austro]

Sweet! I had mentally written this one down as an L with Lowry on the mound.

[T. J.]

Pence is Anthony Michael Hall, but it's Breakfast Club version, not Sixteen Candles.

[Savage]

If I wanted to smell the aroma of ass from plummer-girl, Paris, France might be the solution. Give me the lady who doesn't have to just look good to keep me entertained. If Ms. Footer prefers to know baseball over what needs to be shaved before she goes out, and i can watch a decent interview from someone who doesn't need to rely on showing her hipbones to keep someone's attention....

Gentlemen,

As entertaining as this thread has been, you should be aware that low rise jeans are no longer the fashionable jean.  They have been replaced with the skinny jean.  While it is an abomination, emphasizing your thunder thighs has apprently replaced showing off your ass crack in terms of fashionable sexy.  Consider this a PSA.

[LonghornCDR]

BULLY!!!   And the boys beat Lowry.  GREAT GAME GUYS!

[Alkie]

Aim that son of a bitch to the south. Look for the Big Dipper and aim it the other way.

Your post must have taken quite a while to type on a cell phone.

No, we have internet now thank god.

[chuck]

If I wanted to smell the aroma of ass from plummer-girl, Paris, France might be the solution. Give me the lady who doesn't have to just look good to keep me entertained. If Ms. Footer prefers to know baseball over what needs to be shaved before she goes out, and i can watch a decent interview from someone who doesn't need to rely on showing her hipbones to keep someone's attention....

I see no contradiction in a woman who knows baseball giving her ardent admirers a little, umm, reason for additional apprecation.

As to where and when such a woman might shave, well, I am ambivalent.

[T. J.]

Lookin' good gentlemen.  Pitching has been amazing lately.

[Lurch]

No, we have internet now thank god.

Good.  That you traveled with a teenage Asian girl seemed the other likely possibility.

[T. J.]

Pence:  "I'm feeling comfortable in the box". 

Well said, young man.

[homer]

Pence:  "I'm feeling comfortable in the box". 

Well said, young man.

Hittin the sides, workin the middle.

[T. J.]

Holy SHIT that's an ugly tie Greg Lucas!

[chuck]

Hittin the sides, workin the middle.

Taking the extra base.

[Lurch]

Holy SHIT that's an ugly tie Greg Lucas!

Used to be one of Footer's belts

[homer]

Holy SHIT that's an ugly tie Greg Lucas!

He is supporting the gay community.

[chuck]

Used to be one of Footer's belts

Estrella azul!

[T. J.]

Used to be one of Footer's belts

Did he go to Harolds in the Heights and say "Give me a suit that's the same color as my hair."?

[JimR]

short stroke--i like his approach right now.

if there are trades to be made, how do you improve this team? if Jennings comes back strong, look out.

[homer]

short stroke--i like his approach right now.

if there are trades to be made, how do you improve this team? if Jennings comes back strong, look out.

Left handed pinch hitter, Lamb plays everyday. Iceberg goes, Burke on the bench.

[Amy]

God, Greg has had a lot of terrible sidekicks on the postgame show.  Jimmy Wynn isn't too bad.  Footer is the best, but I don't want to lose her as a beat writer.  You would think they could find someone worthwhile.

[Lefty]

God, Greg has had a lot of terrible sidekicks on the postgame show.  Jimmy Wynn isn't too bad.  Footer is the best, but I don't want to lose her as a beat writer.  You would think they could find someone worthwhile.

They've hired some new beat writer to cover the Astros - Ben DuBois or somesuch.  His first piece was the writeup for last night's game.  I have no idea if this means new or different responsibilities for Molony or Footer.

[chuck]

if there are trades to be made, how do you improve this team? if Jennings comes back strong, look out.

Can you imagine? If Jennings comes back strong this will be a pitching staff that has a chance to be special. Top to bottom.

If the guys that all of us are clamoring to trade (don't know if Purp wants to trade 'em - he won't say), Ensberg, Lane, Burke, if none of those guys have any real trade value (and why would they, really?), I think maybe you stand pat for now knowing you have very good pitching and pretty good offense. And knowing that your best competition in the division is having a lot of the same problems that you are, only worse, and hoping like hell that the Brewers show their inexperience at some point.

I think that there will be deadline deals to be made with guys that you can't move now.

[JimR]

Left handed pinch hitter, Lamb plays everyday. Iceberg goes, Burke on the bench.

better team with Lamb on the bench unless you get one hellacious PH. who do you have in mind?

a 3B who could hit HRs would be good. apparently, CF now is taken, so 3B, starting P, and LH PH are what we could use?

[pravata]

Pence is Anthony Michael Hall, but it's Breakfast Club version, not Sixteen Candles.

Edward Scissors Hands version

[Amy]

They've hired some new beat writer to cover the Astros - Ben DuBois or somesuch.  His first piece was the writeup for last night's game.  I have no idea if this means new or different responsibilities for Molony or Footer.

I think I remember seeing his name before.  They have several different guys that fill in for Footer when she has the day (or weekend) off.  I haven't heard anything about her job changing.

[Lurch]

better team with Lamb on the bench unless you get one hellacious PH. who do you have in mind?

a 3B who could hit HRs would be good.

Blalock?  We could help with a nice ass whoopin this weekend

[homer]

better team with Lamb on the bench unless you get one hellacious PH. who do you have in mind?

a 3B who could hit HRs would be good. apparently, CF now is taken, so 3B, starting P, and LH PH are what we could use?

Then why not Loretta at 3rd everyday, Lamb on the bench, Bruntlett as super utility. Iceberg goes.

Why do you think the Astros need a starter?

[remy]

Per the AP recap...

Giants slugger Barry Bonds was 1-for-3 with a single and a walk. He hasn't hit a homer since May 8 and remains 10 away from tying Hank Aaron's career record of 755. His drought at Minute Maid Park stretches to Opening Day of 2004.

I like that.  Like it a lot.

[The Spleen]

Why do you think the Astros need a starter?

Wandy.
To quote the Great Communicator... "Trust, but verify."

[Limey]

Yes. Most follow your script, Homer, but not all. Some, believe it or not, are a little intimidated by their power over us dumbasses. I have no idea why, and they really need to get with the program, but some chicks really try to hide or at least subdue their sexuality.

They must be stopped.

Sometimes it's fun.  Like (back when I was dating) when you round first base and find a pleasant surprise waiting for you at second.

[JaneDoe]

PENCE!!! He slammed that FB on the train tracks!

I missed the game (sons' had games, of course, another HR for the 12 yr old--I am sure you guys are sick of hearing about them).  If you play the game highlights on astros.com for the Pence home run, it sounds like someone (Lucas?) is orgasming right on the air ( in the background behind Brownie) .  Quite funny.

[mihoba]

I missed the game (sons' had games, of course, another HR for the 12 yr old--I am sure you guys are sick of hearing about them).  If you play the game highlights on astros.com for the Pence home run, it sounds like someone (Lucas?) is orgasming right on the air ( in the background behind Brownie) .  Quite funny.

And Brownie was in his classic Jeckyl/Hyde mode. BTW, the pitch was a 77 mph change (thanks homer, I missed that entirely)

[remy]

And Brownie was in his classic Jeckyl/Hyde mode. BTW, the pitch was a 77 mph change (thanks homer, I missed that entirely)

Actually, Brownie's call was pretty darn laid back.  Maybe the botched Jason Lane grand slam call the other day has him spooked.

[Randy Watson]

Left handed pinch hitter, Lamb plays everyday. Iceberg goes, Burke on the bench.

I might rather have Bruntlett on the bench than Burke.  Gives Gar a lot more versatility.

Burke hasn't proven to be that much better of a hitter.  His career OPS is a mere three points higher than Bruntlett's.