I had this dream after slogging to bed last night, and no, I didn't drink any Nyquiladas before drifting off...
I'm walking down a tunnel, going deep underground. The stone floor beneath me starts to get moist, and soon enough, I'm wading. At the same time, the ceiling keeps getting lower and lower, so I have to duck. Just when I think I can't hunch down any lower without drowning, the tunnel opens into a huge cavern. Scores of people are visible through the yellow glow of artificial lighting. Lance Berkman emerges and shakes my hand.
"Well," says Lance, "Are you ready to talk about property tax relief?" I nod and I follow him to the end of the cavern, where we step into an elevator. A young girl steps into the elevator with Lance, then leaps into his arms. "Is she your daughter?" I ask.
"No, my goddaughter," he replies. "We're having her baptized after the speech." The elevator comes to a stop on a platform. The platform juts out over the cavern where we just were. I can see hundreds of people staring up, waiting for the speech. I step out on to the platform, and I notice it's covered with apple pies, and a bunch of rotten apple skins and cores. "Don't you ever clean up around here?" I ask, immediately regretting it. Lance smiles ruefully and shrugs.
