Commies at PENCE! - Mayday, 2007

[Alkie]

REDS LINEUP

Who cares.


ASTROS LINEUP

Biggio  2b
Lamb  3b
Berkman  1b
Lee  LF
Scott  RF
PENCE!!!!  CF
Everett   SS
Ausmus   C
Albers  P

Dana Larson is wearing her underwear on the air.  I like her more and more every day.

[Alkie]

WOW.  The Astros have left an average of 10.8 LOB over the last 5 games.  Holy crap, that sucks.

[MRaup]

WOW.  The Astros have left an average of 10.8 LOB over the last 5 games.  Holy crap, that sucks.

Yeah, it sucks...

But, at the same time, think about how many runners the Astros are getting on base. Now, 1 or 2 more timely hits and we're scoring 5 runs a game again...

Twinkie, get off your lazy ass and start driving people in!

[Alkie]

You got what we're hitting with RISP handy?  I would imagine it's amazingly low.

[MRaup]

You got what we're hitting with RISP handy?  I would imagine it's amazingly low.

You're asking the wrong person...

I bet it is ridiculously low, though.

[DVauthrin]

You got what we're hitting with RISP handy?  I would imagine it's amazingly low.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/Statistics/Team/playerstats?team=hou&seasonYear=2007&split=39&seasonType=2&type=reg&pagetype=batting

.257 .364 .400

adam everett has the second best OPS with runners in scoring position out of full time starters, that says it all.

[Alkie]

.257 .364 .400

15th in MLB for BA with RISP
9th in MLB for OBP with RISP
13th in MLB for SLG with RISP

The rankings seem to say it's not nearly as bad as it seems to us, the small minded fan.  I had initially said that the raw numbers look like shit, but honestly the .364 OBP ain't that bad.

[MRaup]

.257 .364 .400

15th in MLB for BA with RISP
9th in MLB for OBP with RISP
13th in MLB for SLG with RISP

The raw numbers look like shit, but the rankings seem to say it's not nearly as bad as it seems to us, the small minded fan.

Think about this...

How many homers are teams hitting on average every week?

We got a big fat zero last week. Not scoring many if any with nobody on/runners on first, too. That is another number not shows in RISP hitting.

[DVauthrin]

.257 .364 .400

15th in MLB for BA with RISP
9th in MLB for OBP with RISP
13th in MLB for SLG with RISP

The raw numbers look like shit, but the rankings seem to say it's not nearly as bad as it seems to us, the small minded fan.

problem is look at ausmus, biggio, ensberg, lance and throw in pence with RISP.   Everett, Scott and Lee are the only starters doing well in that regard.   It would improve if you plug in loretta at 3b.

[Alkie]

JD just died on camera during the pre-game.

I hope he makes it.  Seems like a nice guy.

[MRaup]

JD just died on camera during the pre-game.

I hope he makes it.  Seems like a nice guy.

Buhwha?

[Alkie]

Think about this...

How many homers are teams hitting on average every week?

We got a big fat zero last week. Not scoring many if any with nobody on/runners on first, too. That is another number not shows in RISP hitting.

With ANYONE on...

.246 .336 .349

26th in MLB in SLG.  There's your stat.

[Alkie]

Buhwha?

JD just started choking on-air and had to get up and walk off the set.  As they cut, Brownie looked at him and said "wow."

[DVauthrin]

With ANYONE on...

.246 .336 .349

26th in MLB in SLG.  There's your stat.

should we give lance a twinkie for every homerun hit like little league to get him going?

[Alkie]

should we give lance a twinkie for every homerun hit like little league to get him going?

If that's all it takes, I will start the fund right here, right now.

Ok, I've spent the requisite 30 seconds thinking about it.  I will buy Lance a pallet of Twinkies.  As soon as his BA is back up over .300, he can have it.   Who do I need to call to publicize this?

[DVauthrin]

If that's all it takes, I will start the fund right here, right now.

Ok, I've spent the requisite 30 seconds thinking about it.  I will buy Lance a pallet of Twinkies.  As soon as his BA is back up over .300, he can have it.   Who do I need to call to publicize this?

if we had to we could up the ante to a lifetime supply of twinkies/pancakes. 

[Alkie]

3rd worst in the NL in OBP with a runner on. 
3rd worst in the NL in SLG with a runner on.

Yikes.  We better start hitting a shitload of solo homers.

[MRaup]

Pluckers in Austin has fried twinkies as a dessert, and it comes with ice cream.

I will personally take Lance out for a fried twinkies for ever homer he hits.

Hell, I'll arrange for pony rides for Kabong if he gets it going again.

[Fredia]

if we had to we could up the ante to a lifetime supply of twinkies/pancakes. 

maybe tie a twinkie to a stick and hold it in front of his nose ... always just out of reach. might work wonders (saw that on family guy and it worked)

[DVauthrin]

Hell, I'll arrange for pony rides for Kabong if he gets it going again.

just take him to ride the mechanical horses you find in malls/some grocery stores.  Much cheaper.

[Alkie]

Here you go.

With a runner on this year, the Stros have 358 ABs.  20 extra base hits (fewest in MLB).   Wow.

[Ty in Tampa]

I just gotta say HEY, HEY, muthafuckin' HEY!!!

[Amy]

What the hell is wrong with DirecTV?  They've got FSN Houston blacked out and EI showing the Cincy broadcast, even though the Astros are the home team.  I don't get it.  I don't remember that ever happening before.  Also, according to the pre-season broadcast schedule, today was supposed to be a KNWS game.  Maybe that has something to do with it?

[Ty in Tampa]

I'm getting FSN Houston on MLB.TV.

[Alkie]

We're getting FSN Houston on DirecTV (but we're in Houston).

[Amy]

Fixed it.  I'm listening to JD & Brownie on MLBTV and watching the Cincy broadcast on TV.  The TV is about one pitch ahead of the computer, so I just hit rewind on the TiVo to synch them up.

[homer]

12 balls, 10 strikes for Albers. getting squeezed a skoshe.

[Phil_in_CS]

I think when jennings gets back, albers stays and woodie has a problem.

[MRaup]

Anyone willing to do 30 or so minutes of pbp till I can leave the office?

[Matt]

Jesus that was quick.  Did they even come to bat?

[homer]

Anyone willing to do 30 or so minutes of pbp till I can leave the office?

sure

[homer]

Dunn dropped down to the 6th spot. Albers falls behind 2-0, Dunn sends one on a rope into the right field corner.

Pretty fat pitch.

[homer]

Encarnacion (.221 BA) lines the 0-1 to PENCE! for a hit, Dunn to 3rd.

Corners, no outs.

[Anit]

a K here would be nice

[homer]

Ross (.179 BA) takes ball one low. Swings through a sneaky fast fastball (94) down and in. 1-1. Same pitch, about 6 inches higher. 1-2. JD opines that Albers sees Dunn on 3rd, raises his adrenaline. Fouls back some cheese. Fastball way high, 2-2. Ross catches up with that inside FB, foul. Breaker in the dirt, Ausmus makes a good stop, 3-2. Pop to Vending Machine near the seats.

Corners, 1 down, Arroyo up.

[homer]

Arroyo squares. Takes strike one. Fouls a bunt, trying to stab it. Misses a bunt for strike 3, stabbing again.

Corners, 2 down.

[homer]

JOSH! swings through a FB up and away for strike 1. Fouls a FB back. Breaker in, dirt. 1-2. Takes one on the thigh, bases juiced.

[Bench]

CLANK

[homer]

SHitbag cockface Phillips takes ball one low and away. Grounder to clank, can't get it on the short hop.

2 runs in on the error.

2-0 Dickities.

Corners, 2 down.

Wallace to the hill.

[homer]

Hatteberg (left) takes strike one on the inner third. Slider down. 1-1. Can't check on a FB down and away, 1-2. Excuse me swing to clank, who converts the 5-3.

2-0 Dickities, Mid 2nd

[homer]

Flapjack goes 1-1. 1-2 on a frisbee breaker. Grounds to short, 6-3. He wasn't hustling.

[homer]

Scott goes 1-1. 2-1. 2-2. Watches strike 3. 2 down.

[Lefty]

He wasn't hustling.

Wasn't even close to hustling.  He had a chance to beat that.

[Anit]

here comes PENCE!!!

[homer]

PENCE! (.429 BA) hits the first one just outside the 3rd base bag. Very exciting. Takes one in on his belt buckle, 1-1. Reaches out and pokes one to left center, can of corn, fans are amazed.

2-0 dickities, end of 2nd.

[utastro]

The Astros game is on in Austin on FSNSW for TWC customers.  DVR guide says Rangers and Yanks, but the Astros and Reds are on.  Now you can see clank live and in action.

[homer]

Upper Deck #1 goes 1-1. 2-1 on a foul. 2-2. Albers is not long for this game. Griffey mashes a big bomb to left.

3-0 Dickities.

[Anit]

griffey knocked the fuck out of that ball..

[utastro]

Maybe I should turn the TV off.  Griffey just jacked one.

[Anit]

looks like its going to be a night for moehler

[homer]

Gonzales goes 1-1 , off the facade above the Biggio boxes.

4-0 dickities.

[Bench]

The Astros game is on in Austin on FSNSW for TWC customers.  DVR guide says Rangers and Yanks, but the Astros and Reds are on.  Now you can see clank live and in action.

Same here in the Golden Triangle. I was complaining all day that the guide on my DVR said Rangers-Yanks, but it's the Astros, fortunately.

Or, after those two bombs, perhaps unfortunately.

[Alkie]

I think when jennings gets back, albers stays and woodie has a problem.

Good job.  Good.  Job.

[Lefty]

Anyone else see Griffey smell his index finger before slapping Dunn on the helmet?

I just don't know what to make of that.

[homer]

Dunn legs out a defensive FUBAR by the vending machine. Can't pick it up on the easy routine grounder.

[homer]

Dunn fucking steals 2nd.

[Alkie]

Brad Ausmus has a really really nice changeup.  The arm speed on his throws really sells it.

[utastro]

Brad Ausmus has a really really nice changeup.  The arm speed on his throws really sells it.

looked like a 12 6 slider

[EasTexAstro]

Same here in the Golden Triangle. I was complaining all day that the guide on my DVR said Rangers-Yanks, but it's the Astros, fortunately.

Or, after those two bombs, perhaps unfortunately.

Maybe the homers are contagious.

Maybe the Astros forgot that was a legit play.

Whatever, let's hope the Astros have learned sumthin.


Albers needs to gently set the ball down and walk away. Moeller anyone?

Dunn just stole a base. Oh my.

[HudsonHawk]

Brad Ausmus has a really really nice changeup.  The arm speed on his throws really sells it.

He'd have a chance if Albers didn't stop and fix a sandwich in the middle of his delivery.

[homer]

Encarnacion goes 1-2. 2-2. Look ats strike 3, knees on the inside corner. 1 down.

[EasTexAstro]

Anyone else notice Albers' picture on gameday looks drunker than....well... drunker than I am?

[homer]

Ross gets ahead 2-0. 3-0. This is getting pretty bad. Lines it over Bidge, throw to the plate cutoff.

5-0 Dickities. For fucks sake.

[MRaup]

Hey Albers, you fuckstick. WAKE UP!

[EasTexAstro]

Coahing visit to the mound to say, "we WILL pinch hit for you at the end of the inning, Woody...er...Matt."

[Alkie]

Leave him in!  He's doing great.

[homer]

Mystery Moehler warms.

Arroyo squares, takes strike 1. Arroyo stabs at another, bunts foul. 68 pitches for Albers. Arroyo pulls it back and hits it by the drawn in clank. first and second, only one down.

[Alkie]

LEAVE!  HIM!  IN!

[homer]

JOSH lines the first pitch over VM, Scott can't throw for shit... up the line.

Albers done.

6-0. First and second.

[Amy]

Good god, let's see Moehler please.

[Anit]

hey hey hey!

[chuck]

Boy, this is ugly. The Astros are getting taken out behind the woodshed in every possible way. The Astros won't score six runs this week.

[utastro]

LEAVE!  HIM!  IN!

Its like a NASCAR race.  That was the big one.

[MRaup]

LEAVE!  HIM!  IN!

What're you so worried about?

Arroyo is going to no hit the Good Guys anyway. May as well save the bullpen for tomorrow's disaster.

[EasTexAstro]

Well, that should do it. The bats should be able to kick back and let loose now. Maybe they will get something started so Arroyo can hit the game winning homerun.

[utastro]

Well, that should do it. The bats should be able to kick back and let loose now. Maybe they will get something started so Arroyo can hit the game winning homerun.

Or they are going to swing at everything regardless of whether its anywhere near the strike zone.

[homer]

Shitbag cockface drills the first pitch to center, PENCE! had a good jump and hauls it in.

2 down.

JD says 'Hunter could sneeze and draw an ovation.'

[homer]

Hatteberg goes 1-1. 1-2. JD and Brownie talk about the strike zone being letter high. Bounce to Bidge.

6-0, Mid 3.

[Amy]

Closed captioning on the Cincy broadcast says "Phillips hit that one on the butt stone"

[homer]

My PBP is done for the night.

[EasTexAstro]

JD says 'Hunter could sneeze and draw an ovation.'

He only says that because it is true.

Seriously, I hope Hunter is magic in a bottle. I don't believe in magic until I see it, though.

[EasTexAstro]

At least the Reds should be tired from running around the bases so much.

[pravata]

All you newbies pay the fuck attention.  Here's why the Astros kept Brian Moehler.  They knew they were carrying guys like Williams, Rodriguez, and Sampson.  They hoped they'd go 6 or so every start, and for the most part they have.  The guys like Qualls, Wheeler, Borkowski, were going to get some innings.  But every now and then.  Let me repeat that, every now and then, they knew they were going to have a game like today.  And then they could call on Moehlers, who because he knows what he's doing, can sit and sit and sit and then come in and give you 4 innings.   Pay the fuck attention.

[Bench]

Thank god for the errors, otherwise it'd be all zeroes down there.

[Ty in Tampa]

JD: "You know you've had a bad game as a pitcher if you don't even get an at bat."

[Limey]

I don't know what sucks more.  Shitty defense, shitty pitching, a Griffey dinger followed by another one...or being no hit by the fucking scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz.

[pravata]

He only says that because it is true.

Seriously, I hope Hunter is magic in a bottle. I don't believe in magic until I see it, though.

Today is a day for magic.  The reason the fans are applauding every sneeze is because they think they know something more or better than the Astros.  They didnt carry PENCE! after spring training when the fans clearly wanted him.  Now they get their chance to show the Astros management, with every bloop single, hard hit foul ball, and legged out infield bouncer, that they know more than the Astros management.  Hooray for Gunther!

[homer]

All you newbies pay the fuck attention.  Here's why the Astros kept Brian Moehler.  They knew they were carrying guys like Williams, Rodriguez, and Sampson.  They hoped they'd go 6 or so every start, and for the most part they have.  The guys like Qualls, Wheeler, Borkowski, were going to get some innings.  But every now and then.  Let me repeat that, every now and then, they knew they were going to have a game like today.  And then they could call on Moehlers, who because he knows what he's doing, can sit and sit and sit and then come in and give you 4 innings.   Pay the fuck attention.

You should drink, excessively, for the rest of the game. Perhaps for the rest of week.

[EasTexAstro]

All you newbies pay the fuck attention.  Here's why the Astros kept Brian Moehler.  They knew they were carrying guys like Williams, Rodriguez, and Sampson.  They hoped they'd go 6 or so every start, and for the most part they have.  The guys like Qualls, Wheeler, Borkowski, were going to get some innings.  But every now and then.  Let me repeat that, every now and then, they knew they were going to have a game like today.  And then they could call on Moehlers, who because he knows what he's doing, can sit and sit and sit and then come in and give you 4 innings.   Pay the fuck attention.

Definitely. There is a crowded situation if/when Jennings and White come back, but at this point, when they already have a tough time finding enough playing time for all the bench guys without going to extra innings, I'm watching what is happening with the position players. The Astros started the season with one of the best benches in MLB, as far as I am concerned. The pen looked tough and the starting pitching performed better than advertised. They just have to get something going from the position starters, whoever they may be.

[homer]

Alright, fucking Carlos Lee did not move his flapjack ass more than 3 fucking steps towards that flare down the line.

That is not Astros baseball.

[Alkie]

I don't know what sucks more.  Shitty defense, shitty pitching, a Griffey dinger followed by another one...or being no hit by the fucking scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz.

No hit?  NO HIT?  Holmes, we don't have a BASERUNNER.

[pravata]

You should drink, excessively, for the rest of the game. Perhaps for the rest of week.

Like I need an invitation.

[Alkie]

What do you think we can get for Lee and Berkman? 

[Bench]

No hit?  NO HIT?  Holmes, we don't have a BASERUNNER.

That'll change soon enough. The Reds already have 6 LOB. Our boys see that as a challenge.

[homer]

Can anyone tell me what happened to the Dunn-to-Houston for a bag of dirty jockstraps insanity from last year?

[pravata]

Can anyone tell me what happened to the Dunn-to-Houston for a bag of dirty jockstraps insanity from last year?

The Reds opened the bidding with Roy's laundry.  With Roy still in them.

[homer]

The Reds opened the bidding with Roy's laundry.

Oh yeah. Astros shoulda done it. He would fit perfectly.

[chuck]

Yeah, I got your baserunner right here.

[Savage]

Whoo hoo!  Our first potential Lobster of the night!

[Amy]

Bidge has been taking some walks lately.  A good sign I think.

[Anit]

make that 2 potential lobsters

[EasTexAstro]

Gameday was showing all of Arroyo's pitches staying up to Biggio. Is that correct? That could be trouble if he can't keep the ball down.

[homer]

Clank makes up for his error by breaking up the no-no. What a guy.

[homer]

Gameday was showing all of Arroyo's pitches staying up to Biggio. Is that correct? That could be trouble if he can't keep the ball down.

Uppish. That is where the zone is tonight.

[Limey]

No hit?  NO HIT?  Holmes, we don't have a BASERUNNER.

Bronson Arroyo looks like:

Worzel Gummidge

or Dorothy's scarecrow pitching from the stretch?

[HudsonHawk]

Clank makes up for his error by breaking up the no-no. What a guy.

Ummmm....no.  If he gets 4 more hits and drives in 2 runs, then he makes up for it.  Which means he's back to zero.

[EasTexAstro]

Is Berkman still looking uncomfortable swinging from the left side? (Am I imagining things, or didn't someone mention that recently?)

[homer]

Ummmm....no.  If he gets 4 more hits and drives in 2 runs, then he makes up for it.  Which means he's back to zero.

Your sarcasm thingie is acting up.

[Lefty]

Is Berkman still looking uncomfortable swinging from the left side? (Am I imagining things, or didn't someone mention that recently?)

Showing a pulse the past few days.

His FC this inning was smoked.

[Anit]

astros with a chance to leave the bases loaded again..

[EasTexAstro]

Showing a pulse the past few days.

His FC this inning was smoked.

Thanks.

[HudsonHawk]

Your sarcasm thingie is acting up.

Watching your favorite team get their collective ass kicked in will do that to a person.

[Limey]

make that 2 potential lobsters

Swami.

[Limey]

astros with a chance to leave the bases loaded again..

1 run from a bases loaded and 1 out situation is a massive improvement from this shower.  Now if they can get themselves up to a Cub-level of execution, we may see some things happening.

[gleach]

Allison says he looks like Joe Dirt.  Of course I don't know how to post a url, so you have to look it up.

[EasTexAstro]

1 run from a bases loaded and 1 out situation is a massive improvement from this shower.  Now if they can get themselves up to a Cub-level of execution, we may see some things happening.

I Just don't understand why CAPS! wasn't allowed to knock in some runs. It seems unfair.

[EasTexAstro]

Allison says he looks like Joe Dirt.  Of course I don't know how to post a url, so you have to look it up.

http://www.splicedwire.com/01reviews/joedirt_.jpg

[EasTexAstro]

Garner going for it.

Moehler out so Lane can bat with 1 out, 1 runner on 1st in the 5th.

[Anit]

and add 2 more lobsters to the tank

[Limey]

Allison says he looks like Joe Dirt.  Of course I don't know how to post a url, so you have to look it up.

Voila!

[Limey]

and add 2 more lobsters to the tank

I'm sick of lobster.

[Alkie]

Voila!

That's great.

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Even Limey can't perform this evening.

[austro]

1 run from a bases loaded and 1 out situation is a massive improvement from this shower.  Now if they can get themselves up to a Cub-level of execution, we may see some things happening.

I don't know: first and second, no outs, with Berkman, Lee, Scott, and Pence coming up.  And they get one run.  That may not even be up to Cubbie standards.

And keeping with Alkie's earlier numbers, after the Astros got a baserunner (Biggio), they got 1 total base in 4 ABs, for a tidy .063 SLG with men on base for the inning.  I'm sure that Arroyo is just shaking on the mound.

[EasTexAstro]

I'm sick of lobster.

We need some Minute Maid O-run-ges...


Wait O-run....ges.....

O-run...


THAT may be the problem!

[Anit]

I'm sick of lobster.

i never liked it, but i thought that line was just way too cute to pass up..

(That is if you are talking about the term, not the fact that the astros are leaving a ton of people on base)

[pravata]

I'm sick of lobster.

We're on a blind date with destiny and she's just ordered the lobster.

[austro]

We're on a blind date with destiny and she's just ordered the lobster.

"She's REALLY hungry."  (Tom Hanks explaining Darryl Hannah's eating manners.)

[HudsonHawk]

Luke Scott's noodle arm is killing me.

[Amy]

Christ, we can't even get Alex Gonzalez out??

[austro]

Wow.  At least this won't be one of those games where you agonize over that one missed opportunity.

[Amy]

Good thing Gar brought in a lefty to pitch to all those lefties.  That matchup is really working for us.

[homer]

Best baseball movie is 'The Rookie'? What a fucking clown. Where do they find these slapdicks?

[Lefty]

Tim Womack has really, really poor taste.

[DVauthrin]

Good thing Gar brought in a lefty to pitch to all those lefties.  That matchup is really working for us.

was that 4 straight lefties who reached?

[Ty in Tampa]

Best baseball movie is 'The Rookie'? What a fucking clown. Where do they find this slapdicks?

He looked like the orchid thief.

[mihoba]

Luke Scott's noodle arm is killing me.

The throw was up the line a bit, but Ausmus should have snagged it to nab the not so speedy Hatteberg.

[chuck]

Luke Scott's noodle arm is killing me.

Luke Scott is a born left fielder. Sadly, we have a born designated hitter occupying left field at present.

[chuck]

Tim Womack has really, really poor taste.

He lives in Orange, Texas.

[EasTexAstro]

WOOHOO!

Berkman walked.

They have a chance to make up some ground now.

[HudsonHawk]

The throw was up the line a bit, but Ausmus should have snagged it to nab the not so speedy Hatteberg.

Yes, Ausmus should have handled it, but Scott has to make a decent throw too.  He did the same thing earlier in the game when they should have had a shot at the runner at the plate.  His arm is weak and inaccurate.  A poor recipe for RF.

[homer]

WOOHOO!

Berkman walked.

They have a chance to make up some ground now.

You're right, the 10 something lobster/game average is in serious jeopardy.

[austro]

The throw was up the line a bit, but Ausmus should have snagged it to nab the not so speedy Hatteberg.

Yeah, it was up the line a little bit, but it wasn't a humpback or anything. It wasn't right on the plate, but it wasn't dreadful either. It just didn't work out.

[gleach]

Reeshard could have hit as well as Scott has to date, and had a cannon for an arm.  Of course I don't mean this, I am just a little frustrated.

[MRaup]

Yeah, it was up the line a little bit, but it wasn't a humpback or anything. It wasn't right on the plate, but it wasn't dreadful either. It just didn't work out.

Ausmus wasn't going to tag him anyway if he caught it. He was too far up the line, and Hatteberg slid to the back side of the plate.

[EasTexAstro]

Reeshard could have hit as well as Scott has to date, and had a cannon for an arm.  Of course I don't mean this, I am just a little frustrated.

I'm ready to see the "hot" Luke for a while.

[pravata]

"She's REALLY hungry."  (Tom Hanks explaining Darryl Hannah's eating manners.)

"We're not your classic heros. We're the other guys."

[austro]

I'm ready to see the "hot" Luke for a while.

Or the hot Berkman. Or the hot Lee. Or...

[HudsonHawk]

Yeah, it was up the line a little bit, but it wasn't a humpback or anything. It wasn't right on the plate, but it wasn't dreadful either. It just didn't work out.

I suppose "dreadful" is subjective, but it was a pretty poor throw, especially considering Scott wasn't very deep and he was charing the ball.

[Bench]

Lidge in to pitch, Burke in at center. I believe this is called a "getting some work in" game.

[chuck]

That was tidy.

[Bench]

Lidge in to pitch, Burke in at center. I believe this is called a "getting some work in" game.

Lidge, 2 nasty K's and a can o' corn for Burke... who CATCHES it. They're getting their work in.

Seriously, though, Lidge looked awesome that inning. His slider dropped three feet straight down, he was nailing the corners at 96 and 97.

[austro]

Lidge 1-2-3. There's your bright spot.

[EasTexAstro]

Lidge in to pitch, Burke in at center. I believe this is called a "getting some work in" game.

Chance for Burke to get some quality time in?

A message to Luke that maybe HE is on the bubble rather than Lane or Burke?

Honestly, I can't watch the games, but just going off stats, and I know Burke has struggled in CF, and this is turning into a run-on sentence, but Luke hasn't done as much as Burke so far...has he?

[austro]

Honestly, I can't watch the games, but just going off stats, and I know Burke has struggled in CF, and this is turning into a run-on sentence, but Luke hasn't done as much as Burke so far...has he?

Nope, he's pretty much been a zero.  Unfortunately, that doesn't make him stand out in this crew.

[EasTexAstro]

Wow.

Before tonight, through 24 games, the Astros have averaged 4.125 runs/game. You would never know it. That is 99 runs through 24 games.

They have only allowed 104 runs/game through 24 games.

[homer]

Brewers up 11-2 over the Co-ards in the 7th.

[JaneDoe]

Wow.

Before tonight, through 24 games, the Astros have averaged 4.125 runs/game. You would never know it. That is 99 runs through 24 games.

They have only allowed 104 runs/game through 24 games.

Yeah, this is really deceiving.  Look at the run differential throughout mlb. 

[pravata]

"This is egg salad. It's loaded with cholesterol, the wife won't even let me touch it. It hardly seems to matter now 'cause, chances are, we're already dead. There's no use waiting for the cavalry, because as of this moment, the cavalry is *us*!"

[LonghornCDR]

Could be worse folks.  Rangers are well on their way to being no-hit for the second time in two weeks.

[EasTexAstro]

"This is egg salad. It's loaded with cholesterol, the wife won't even let me touch it. It hardly seems to matter now 'cause, chances are, we're already dead. There's no use waiting for the cavalry, because as of this moment, the cavalry is *us*!"

You're just trying to pad your post count...

[homer]

Could be worse folks.  Rangers are well on their way to being no-hit for the second time in two weeks.

And the Yankees lost another pitcher to injury. Hughes left after 6.1 with a leg injury. Combined nohitter continues.

[pravata]

You're just trying to pad your post count...

At this point?  No.  I seriously think, that at this point, we resemble egg salad.  Or as JD says it is prohibited to retransmit the pictures and descriptions, and why would you?

[JaneDoe]

You're just trying to pad your post count...

Borkowski is padding Lidge's ERA.

[pravata]

And the Yankees lost another pitcher to injury. Hughes left after 6.1 with a leg injury. Combined nohitter continues.

New York media will tell you that the combined no hitter doesnt count.  In some ways it may as well count as a loss. 

[EasTexAstro]

Lidge had his ERA down to 4.91 when he walked off the mound with the bases loaded.

Bork walks in and promptly plunks someone to take it back up to 5.73.

[homer]

New York media will tell you that the combined no hitter doesnt count.  In some ways it may as well count as a loss. 

Broken up by Blalock double.

[homer]

Broken up by Blalock double.

Kinsler follows up with a hot one through the right side, shutout gone too.

[Alkie]

Broken up by Blalock double.

Thank God.  For so, so, so many reasons.

[Alkie]

Kinsler follows up with a hot one through the right side, shutout gone too.

By the way, good thinking on the avatar.  Too bad it backfired.  Badly. 

[homer]

Bidge probably missed his inside the parker. I think he was trying to pad his triple stats.

[EasTexAstro]

Lidge had his ERA down to 4.91 when he walked off the mound with the bases loaded.

Bork walks in and promptly plunks someone to take it back up to 5.73.

...and strikes ou the next guy to take HIS ERA down below 5 to 4.82.


Sorry, I seem to have lost interest in the game I can't watch and I don't seem to be interupting PBP so I will keep drinking and posting the strange things running through my brain. With the storm tonight, I might even be picking up the voices in Fredia's brain. Quite soothing, except for the dresses and shotguns.

[pravata]

Biggio has obviously gone senile and forgotten about the doubles records.

[Alkie]

With the storm tonight,

I hate to ask.  What storm?

[Alkie]

Biggio has obviously gone senile and forgotten about the doubles records.

Oh no.  He tried.  You could see he REALLY tried.

[EasTexAstro]

WOOHOO!

Jon (censored last name) is pitching!

[Alkie]

WOOHOO!

Jon (censored last name) is pitching!

I've been thinking about this for weeks now.  I still can't come up with a funny way to say this guys last name.  Little help?

[Bench]

So the Astros finally score a run, and the FSN score box in the corner awards the run to the Reds. Classic.

[Ty in Tampa]

WOOHOO!

Jon (censored last name) is pitching!

Jon Cunning Linguist?

[EasTexAstro]

I hate to ask.  What storm?

I'm channelling Fredia...I don't have to explain.


(The one that went through central Texas yesterday and seemed to have found East Texas earlier today when I went to my "bad parent" counseling session before I cam eback to work but seems to be probabaly gone now but I don't have a tv, radio, or window in my office so I really don't know.)

[austro]

Can this team find any more bizarre ways to create outs?

[Bench]

What a crappy piece of shit double play.

[Alkie]

What a crappy piece of shit double play.

You're lucky as HELL it wasn't a triple play with the blazing speed Lardo II (Electric Goobaloo) crawls up the 1st base line.

[JaneDoe]

My husband is yelling at the tv "It should've been an infield fly!"   I dunno.  Wasn't really high enough?

[Alkie]

My husband is yelling at the tv "It should've been an infield fly!"   I dunno.  Wasn't really high enough?

No.

[HudsonHawk]

Can this team find any more bizarre ways to create outs?

Wasn't all that bizarre, just bad luck. 

[JaneDoe]

Can this team find any more bizarre ways to create outs?

Give them a chance.  They will surprise you.

[Alkie]

Only 5 LOB tonight.

[Bench]

My husband is yelling at the tv "It should've been an infield fly!"   I dunno.  Wasn't really high enough?

I don't think so, but on a similar play on the first saturday game of the season against the Cardinals the umps called an infield fly *after the fact*.

Regardless, if it was an infield fly there still would have been two outs as Lee would have been out automatically and Lamb was tagged off the bag.

[homer]

By the way, good thinking on the avatar.  Too bad it backfired.  Badly. 

.157/.224/.196 since he rode the horse.

[JaneDoe]

No.

Yeah, I only saw the replay.  I didn't think so either.

[Anit]

did you just see berkmans hair..

it was seriously elvis hair..

[EasTexAstro]

What a crappy piece of shit double play.

Carlos Lee grounds into unassisted double play, shortstop Alex GOnzalez. Mike Lanb out at 3rd. Lance Berkman out at 2nd. Carlos Lee to 1st.

'splain please?

[austro]

For ETA's benefit:

Astros have Lamb on first and Berkman on second, no outs, Lee up. He fists a spinner out to short, where Gonzalez short hops it, and then slo-mo chases Lamb back toward second. Lamb finally stops, off the base, and Gonzalez tags him, and then steps on second.  Berkman is nowhere in the picture, god only knows what he was thinking about.  The only good news was that Lee was running enough to avoid the triple play.

[Alkie]

.157/.224/.196 since he rode the horse.

Holy shit, is that true?

Are we're complaining about LANCE? 

[JaneDoe]

Holy shit, is that true?

Are we're complaining about LANCE? 

Yep, he has really SUCKED. 

[EasTexAstro]

For ETA's benefit:

Astros have Lamb on first and Berkman on second, no outs, Lee up. He fists a spinner out to short, where Gonzalez short hops it, and then slo-mo chases Lamb back toward second. Lamb finally stops, off the base, and Gonzalez tags him, and then steps on second.  Berkman is nowhere in the picture, god only knows what he was thinking about.  The only good news was that Lee was running enough to avoid the triple play.

Bless you.

[Alkie]

Yep, he has really SUCKED. 

Lance or Lee or all of the above?

[Bench]

Hunter has a lot of work to do to get that average back above .400.

[utastro]

.157/.224/.196 since he rode the horse.

Time to turn that horse into glue.

[homer]

Holy shit, is that true?

Are we're complaining about LANCE? 

10 TB, 5 BB in the last 13 games.

[austro]

Sorry, I screwed up that description a little bit: Lamb was on second and Berkman on first. But it was still painful to watch.

And HH was right: it was mostly bad luck. But that seems to be the only luck they've got right now.

[pravata]

Hunter has a lot of work to do to get that average back above .400.

I've seen Pence bat 8 times, (missed PENCE! game 1) they had the book on him during at bat number 3.

[JaneDoe]

Lance or Lee or all of the above?

Yes. YES. YES.

[austro]

I've seen Pence bat 8 times, (missed PENCE! game 1) they had the book on him during at bat number 3.

Yup, he gets a fastball every once in a while. But it's always inside, where all he can do is pull it foul.  We'll see how fast he learns.

[pravata]

Yup, he gets a fastball every once in a while. But it's always inside, where all he can do is pull it foul.  We'll see how fast he learns.

junk away, fastball high is what I've seen, of course he swings at all of it.  That last at bat they pushed him in with the fastball to get him away from the slow stuff away.

[austro]

There! That was the play that turns the season around! Line drive back to Bork, who hits Berkman on the move behind the baserunner to double him off at first. A stunning display of alertness and agility.

[Alkie]

There! That was the play that turns the season around! Line drive back to Bork, who hits Berkman on the move behind the baserunner to double him off at first. A stunning display of alertness and agility.

4th.  Place.  Team.

[JaneDoe]

There! That was the play that turns the season around! Line drive back to Bork, who hits Berkman on the move behind the baserunner to double him off at first. A stunning display of alertness and agility.

This may be the only time we see alertness and agility describing Borkowski and Berkman.

[austro]

4th.  Place.  Team.

That's what we aspire to at this point.

[chuck]

This game is a piece of crap.

[austro]

This game is a piece of crap.

But it's our game.

[JaneDoe]

This game is a piece of crap.

That depends on your perspective. 

[austro]

Well, shit, I can't even get that right. Let's try again:

But it's our piece of crap.

[JaneDoe]

NOW he brings in Loretta???????????????????

[EasTexAstro]

NOW he brings in Loretta?

SOmebody had to put this game out of its misery.

[JaneDoe]

Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest,
God is nigh.

Thank goodness we have laid this game to rest.
RIP.

[pravata]

Brownie "Reds just traded for a reliever named Macbeth" JD "There's a candidate for the all-Shakespeare team" Brown "Yeah, he could spring this on an ump one day, 'fair is foul and foul is fair' JD "What! You bring that in the 9th, when noboby's watching?"

[homer]

Brownie "Reds just traded for a reliever named Macbeth" JD "There's a candidate for the all-Shakespeare team" Brown "Yeah, he could spring this on an ump one day, 'fair is foul and foul is fair' JD "What! You bring that in the 9th, when noboby's watching?"

I knew you would get this on the board. Are you posting with one eye closed?

[homer]

Alkie- you promised me Dana in her underwear. I am disappointed.

[pravata]

I knew you would get this on the board. Are you posting with one eye closed?

Grinding.

[Alkie]

Alkie- you promised me Dana in her underwear. I am disappointed.

What's she wearing now???

During the pregame, she had on a pasty under her jacket.

[Limey]

You're just trying to pad your post count...

I think he's just going to keep going until someone identifies the movie he's quoting.

[MRaup]

I think he's just going to keep going until someone identifies the movie he's quoting.

... It was Mystery Men!

[Limey]

... It was Mystery Men!

I know that!

[MRaup]

I know that!

So did I!

I was scared it might start again tonight...

[pravata]

So did I!

I was scared it might start again tonight...

"To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn."

[MRaup]

"To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn."

"People that chew with their mouth open make... me... FURIOUS!"