Astros @ Pirates, PNC Park, 4/24/07

[mihoba]

Astros

C. Biggio 2b   
C. Burke cf   
L. Berkman 1b
C. Lee lf    
M. Ensberg 3b
J. Lane rf   
A. Everett ss    
H. Quintero c
W. Williams p
 
Pirates
     
C. Duffy cf    
J. Wilson ss
F. Sanchez 2b   
J. Bay lf
A. LaRoche 1b
J. Bautista 3b
B. Eldred rf     
R. Paulino c
P. Maholm p

[Alkie]

Why is Brownie wearing a party hat and a bra?

[EasTexAstro]

Why is Brownie wearing a party hat and a bra?

Amy IS at the game!

[Jacksonian]

Why is Brownie wearing a party hat and a bra?

Alkie, stop standing in front of the tv and turn the TV on.

[Alkie]

Alkie, stop standing in front of the tv and turn the TV on.

Oh.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Man, tell me THAT wasn't weird.  The same bra?  What were the odds?

[Alkie]

Ensberg is injured?

The hell?

Loretta now at 3b.

[Anit]

this is the first i've heard about ensbergs injury

[Jacksonian]

Ensberg is injured?

The hell?

Loretta now at 3b.

Ju got some splainin' to do.

[Alkie]

Biggio solid single past the 3b.

Ever closer to the BOOM BOOM WHOOOOOOOOOSH.  There it is.

[mihoba]

Damn, storm passing through. Cut out right after Bidge's hit.

[Alkie]

I know this is poorly timed, since he just hit into a DP, but why did the team decide that Burke was "pretty good" after they had decided he was "roster filler at best" 2 years ago? 

What's he done to change that?

He still looks like a barely average hitter and a terrible-at-his-current-position fielder.

[Alkie]

Damn, storm passing through. Cut out right after Bidge's hit.

You missed badness.  That was all.

[Bench]

Ensberg is injured?

The hell?

Loretta now at 3b.

Well that didn't clear things up very much. I was out of town all day, come back home and turn on the tube in time to here Bill say "the injured Ensberg." I quickly gear up the computer, come straight here, and -- as the yinzers say == bupkus.

I guess it's news to all of us.

[Bench]

I know this is poorly timed, since he just hit into a DP, but why did the team decide that Burke was "pretty good" after they had decided he was "roster filler at best" 2 years ago? 

What's he done to change that?

He still looks like a barely average hitter and a terrible-at-his-current-position fielder.

He's consistently improved in two and half years in the bigs.

[Alkie]

Ensberg was on the phone with his grama, who he never calls, but who nags him constantly, "why don't you ever call??"  "I'm calling now, grama..."  "But you never call, and I worry about you."  "What's there to worry about, I.......SHIT!"  "What happened, Morgan?"  "A Cessna just fell on my toe."  "Are you ok?"  "Not sure, better sit out tonight and see if it heals by tomorrow."

Or something.

[Alkie]

He's consistently improved in two and half years in the bigs.

I'll give you that he has "improved."  But is he really "above average"?

[Alkie]

Quintero, a catcher with an actual ML arm, throws out the baserunner.

[Bench]

I'll give you that he has "improved."  But is he really "above average"?

I'm just selling this stuff. I ain't buying it.

But... I guess they are giving him a chance to be "above average" after he's improved to average?

[Bench]

Ensberg was on the phone with his grama, who he never calls, but who nags him constantly, "why don't you ever call??"  "I'm calling now, grama..."  "But you never call, and I worry about you."  "What's there to worry about, I.......SHIT!"  "What happened, Morgan?"  "A Cessna just fell on my toe."  "Are you ok?"  "Not sure, better sit out tonight and see if it heals by tomorrow."

Or something.

And that's why normally he just sits there and watches the phone ring six or seven times before blankly walking into the next room to sit down for a little while.

[Alkie]

I'm just selling this stuff. I ain't buying it.

But... I guess they are giving him a chance to be "above average" after he's improved to average?

Ok, I can believe that.

Meanwhile, Lane misplays a ball in RF.

Wow, this OF defense is bad.

[Bench]

Ok, I can believe that.

Meanwhile, Lane misplays a ball in RF.

Wow, this OF defense is bad.

And he's the team's best one. By far.

[Alkie]

I'm just selling this stuff. I ain't buying it.

But... I guess they are giving him a chance to be "above average" after he's improved to average?

Here's Chris Burke's career numbers thru last night:

.257  .327  .385   

I don't know if you like OPS+ or not, but he has a career OPS+ of 84, which is pretty awful.  So are those other stats I just gave you.

[Craig]

Wow, I'm actually getting the broadcast today, probably because the Rangers played this afternoon. I haven't seen a game since Carlos Lee's grand slam.

[Alkie]

Wow, I'm actually getting the broadcast today, probably because the Rangers played this afternoon. I haven't seen a game since Carlos Lee's grand slam.

...as a WhiteSox?

[Anit]

chris burke deserves a gold glove this year

[Craig]

Goddammit Burke. Catch the fucking ball.

[Alkie]

Shocking.  Chris Burke misplays another fucking ball in CF that he should have caught.  Run scores.  Runner now on 2b.

Not an EASY play, but the ball hit his fucking glove.  The inside of it.

[MRaup]

Goddammit Burke. Catch the fucking ball.

Description please! With as many swears as possible.

[Alkie]

Description please! With as many swears as possible.

Oh, I'll take this one.

Fucking ball gets goddamn scortched to deep shiting CF.  Our dick CF goes back and to his twat right and jumps a good 15 cunt feet before the wall.  The asshole ball hits the middle of his cock glove and he drops the goddamnfuckingcuntmidgetasianpornball.  Run scores.

[Bench]

Description please! With as many swears as possible.

Deep fly ball to the warning track on the left side of center. Burke makes a running catch a couple of steps before running into the fence.

Sounds nice, eh?

Unfortunately, he seemed to have closed his glove before the ball lodged inside. But then he promptly picked it up and hit the cut-off man!

[MRaup]

Deep fly ball to the warning track on the left side of center. Burke makes a running catch a couple of steps before running into the fence.

Sounds nice, eh?

Unfortunately, he seemed to have closed his glove before the ball lodged inside. But then he promptly picked it up and hit the cut-off man!

I love sound fundamental baseball.

[Alkie]

I love sound fundamental baseball.

Might I suggest another team?

[loganck]

I'm not trying to defend the misplay, but he did get a good jump, at least.

[Craig]

Description please! With as many swears as possible.

Ann Wilson on second with two outs, Jason Bay or some goddamn Pirate knocks it to deep left-center, Burke sticks his glove out and the fucking ball bounces off. 1-0 Pirates. Holy fucking shit.

[Alkie]

I'm not trying to defend the misplay, but he did get a good jump, at least.

Thanks, Ash.

[MRaup]

Thanks, Ash.

I left my sunglasses in the car, but man that was a shiny description.

[remy]

The way things are going so far, I'm guessing Amy is at the game.

[Alkie]

The way things are going so far, I'm guessing Amy is at the game.

I think we all know what we have to do.

If that new girl is going to go to all the fucking games until our 2B hits an artificial number of basehits, we need to find a way to kidnap, or at least distract, her.

Suggestions?

[Craig]

Ensberg has hyperextended ankle.

[Alkie]

Godammit.  I leave the room to get some food.  I'm gone 8 seconds or so.  I walk back in and some Pirate is jogging briskly around the bases.

[remy]

Now their fucking pitcher follows up the HR with a solid single up the middle.  Woody Williams is fucking worthless.

[Bench]

Now their fucking pitcher follows up the HR with a solid single up the middle.  Woody Williams is fucking worthless.

Easy there, the man just likes a challenge.

[loganck]

Godammit.  I leave the room to get some food.  I'm gone 8 seconds or so.  I walk back in and some Pirate is jogging briskly around the bases.

WW got behind 3-0.  JD mentioned he should just pump in fastballs since the pitcher was on deck.  Three fastballs later,  long gone to center

[Bench]

Ensberg has hyperextended ankle.

Got to keep the "streak" alive, I guess.

[MRaup]

Now their fucking pitcher follows up the HR with a solid single up the middle.  Woody Williams is fucking worthless.

You don't have a 8 year history of bitching about every non-Astro hit... When its not Alkie, it smacks badly of frontrunning. Control yourself, pal.

[Alkie]

Thing is, I don't think Woody is fucking worthless.  I was actually glad we picked him up.

I just wish he would stop sucking this season.

[EasTexAstro]

I think we all know what we have to do.

If that new girl is going to go to all the fucking games until our 2B hits an artificial number of basehits, we need to find a way to kidnap, or at least distract, her.

Suggestions?

I say the Astros show her and win the game IN SPITE of her reckless behavior.

[Alkie]

We are currently Biggio's single away from being perfected by Pat Someone.

[Alkie]

GENTLEMEN.  I have an announcement.

Beginning the top of the 4th, the slump is busted.

I just opened up one of these: http://usarundbrief.com/36/images/jarritos.jpg

Lime.  All sugar, no corn syrup.

My skull will tingle all night.  This is what sacrifice is about.

[MRaup]

We are currently Biggio's single away from being perfected by Pat Someone.

The Stros, so far this year, have been a 2nd and 3rd time through the lineup team when it comes to scoring runs... Which beats the shit out of last year's, "Yay, we scored a run! Go go Gadget bullpen!".

[EasTexAstro]

That does it.

I had given up dipping for almost 2 hours. I'll make the sacrifice and take one for the team...

[Alkie]

Ooh.  My first sip.

This is what it would be like if Robitussin and Imperial Sugar got together and released a product that had to be kept in the fridge.

ETA:  I can honestly say I've never had to CHEW my drink before.

[Alkie]

Every bucket of BlueBell ice cream is HAND delivered...by HUMANS, not robots, like those other ice creams.

[Bench]

I admire Woody's ability to stay away from the big inning.

[chuck]

I just opened up one of these: http://usarundbrief.com/36/images/jarritos.jpg

If you had $25,000 and a viaje a Las Vegas, what would you spend the $25,000 on?

[Twoniner]

  It's amazing how in one offseason the Astros went from "Pitching and Defense"  to "Pray for a big fucking rally".

[Alkie]

If you had $25,000 and a viaje a Las Vegas, what would you spend the $25,000 on?

That's Las Vegas, NM, not Las Vegas, NV.  $25k in Las Vegas, NM gets you farther than you ever imagined.

[chuck]

Fuck me.

[Twoniner]

So a GIDP, a botched hit and run, and a fucked play in center for Burke if anyone is counting.

[Craig]

GENTLEMEN.  I have an announcement.

Beginning the top of the 4th, the slump is busted.

I just opened up one of these: http://usarundbrief.com/36/images/jarritos.jpg

Lime.  All sugar, no corn syrup.

My skull will tingle all night.  This is what sacrifice is about.

I think you've been hitting one of those red bongs in the background.

[Bench]

Another Biggio hit, and Maholm has still faced the minimum.

[MRaup]

I know its disgusting, but seriously, someone please explain what is happening. I'm stuck at work and don't even get to watch this abomination.

[Alkie]

 It's amazing how in one offseason the Astros went from "Pitching and Defense"  to "Pray for a big fucking rally".

YOU SEE.  2 weeks.  That's all it took.

I BEGGED you all, BEGGED, to go spend the money on pitching.  Go get pitching, I said. 

"We need bats.  We'll outslug everyone!"

No, we need pitchers.  Go get pitching.

2 weeks.  And you're all starting to see.  Everything is going as planned.  Not MY plan. 

[EasTexAstro]

So a GIDP, a botched hit and run, and a fucked play in center for Burke if anyone is counting.

Remember when the Astros had that guy named Everett batting second?

[Bench]

I know its disgusting, but seriously, someone please explain what is happening. I'm stuck at work and don't even get to watch this abomination.

It's not really an abomination, just down by 3 to the Pirates early in the game. No reason to jump off any ships. Then again, you're not missing much either.

That being said, I feel your pain. This is the first game in a string of 6 that I can watch, but I can't do PBP as my internet connection and TV are in different rooms, so I'm just popping in and out between innings.

[Alkie]

An incisor just fell out of my head.

[EasTexAstro]

Remember when the Astros had that guy named Everett batting second?

Strike that.

Did You KNow?

With Mo batting 2nd and Burke batting 6th, the Astros are 5-1 this season.

[loganck]

Paulino- soft comebacker 1-3
2 outs

Muholland- first pitch F9  - not deep

[Alkie]

Strike that.

Did You KNow?

With Mo batting 2nd and Burke batting 6th, the Astros are 5-1 this season.

I want to be on record as saying before the season started that Mo Berg should be hitting 2nd if he's going to be in the lineup.

[Bench]

Paulino- soft comebacker 1-3
2 outs

Muholland- first pitch F9  - not deep

Wow. You gave me a Terry Mulholland flashback that came out nowhere.

However, the Pirates' pitcher is Maholm (Maa-hall-um), Pat Maholm.

[chuck]

I know its disgusting, but seriously, someone please explain what is happening. I'm stuck at work and don't even get to watch this abomination.

Biggio was thrown out trying to return to first on what one would have to assume was a botched hit and run. The pitch was a breaking ball low, and the attempt Burke made to hit it would never qualify as half-assed. It was considerably less assed than that.

[Bench]

Wow. You gave me a Terry Mulholland flashback that came out nowhere.

However, the Pirates' pitcher is Maholm (Maa-hall-um), Pat Maholm.

That being said, keep up the good PBP work.

[loganck]

Loretta- showed bunt pulled back b, called strike outside corner, 4-3

[EasTexAstro]

I want to be on record as saying before the season started that Mo Berg should be hitting 2nd if he's going to be in the lineup.

Well, except he isn't in the lineup.

I like AE there, but there are quite a few holes in the lineup. Right now, there seems to be a #9 (pitcher), a #3 battting 4th (Lee) and a bunch of guys for the 2-hole....

[loganck]

Lane- b,  hit it hard and got a nice long look at his warning track shot

[Alkie]

Dear Jason,

Do not toss the bat and start to jog on a ball that does not reach the warning track.

Thank you.

-Everyone else

[loganck]

AE- b, called strike low, popF4

i'll go through the fifth, and then i'm getting dinner ready

[Alkie]

Maholm cruising in a rocking chair. 

Throwing hail-sized baseballs.

[Bench]

Dear Jason,

Do not toss the bat and start to jog on a ball that does not reach the warning track.

Thank you.

-Everyone else

But but but... that's a train track shot!

[loganck]

Duffy- called strike, 3u

[loganck]

Wilson  (nancy?)-  first pitch F8-   Burke had a lot of time to settle under it

[Alkie]

8 in a row for Woody.

[Amy]

This is not going well.  Who would've guessed no one could hit this guy but Bidge?  Burke sucks.

[MRaup]

This is not going well.  Who would've guessed no one could hit this guy but Bidge?  Burke sucks.

Just remember: If we lose, it is your fault.

[Phil_in_CS]

This is not going well.  Who would've guessed no one could hit this guy but Bidge?  Burke sucks.

I thought you were going to the game?

[Bill McLuggage]

What'd I miss?  Looks like a shitfest...

[Bench]

I thought you were going to the game?

She's there, chiming in from her phone.

[Alkie]

What'd I miss?  Looks like a shitfest...

A shitfest.  Of shit.

[loganck]

Dirty S.-  called s, foul, high outside b, L9

nice quick inning

having connection problems


Top6-
Q:  tough play to 3rd.  throw a little off the line and tag misses.  
WW: poppede up the bunt but it landed.  Q out by a mile at second and Woody barely beat the throw at first

[Bench]

What'd I miss?  Looks like a shitfest...

A lot of "sound fundamental baseball."

[loganck]

Biggio-  2-2, ball low, full count, ouside swing and miss
two outs Williams on first

[chuck]

You're missing a continuing clinic by the Astros in how to put down an effective bunt.

Is Brownie joking about how "high" they are in the press box there in Pittsburgh?

[Bill McLuggage]

A lot of "sound fundamental baseball."

I was walking to my car and a loud sonic-boom followed by woooosh...ziiiing..beepbeep...POP sounded from the air.  I said...this isn't Good Friday in the year of the Apocoalypse (2009) is it? - then I figured Biggio just got a hit on Fox TV?

[Amy]

I am at the game.  Typing on the cell phond sucks.  Nice ballpark here.

[loganck]

Burke- F8 to shallow left center.
mid 5


i'm done.  my connection sucks anyway.

[Alkie]

Alright Walrus.  You're in charge of PBP.

[Bill McLuggage]

Alright Walrus.  You're in charge of PBP.

WOO!

[Bench]

Man, Burke's swinging horribly. All night he's got this dipping his right shoulder way down and pulling off his front foot combo. He's really off.

[Alkie]

WOO!

Don't.  Fuck.  Up.

[homer]

I think that was fair.

[Alkie]

I think that was fair.

I thought so too.  It looked obviously fair.  Wonder what happened.

[Bill McLuggage]

Bay - foul HR to left followed by a dribbler to Loretta who can't play baseball....safe at 1st

[Bill McLuggage]

Don't.  Fuck.  Up.

Mantle - GIDP

[Bill McLuggage]

Mantle - GIDP

Shit

[Texifornia]

You're missing a continuing clinic by the Astros in how to put down an effective bunt.

I wonder if they've ever thought of bunting practice? I mean, if they practiced bunting, they may improve to mediocre which would be worth some runs. Has anyone ever suggested this to Garner? Can anyone get a message to him?

Maybe if they learned to bunt side-armed...

[Bill McLuggage]

LaRoche - long fly out to a leaping Burke in deep center

[MRaup]

Its like the Stros are filming a "how not to play baseball" video tonight.

[EasTexAstro]

Burke caught the ball?

[Bill McLuggage]

Bautista grounder under Bidge's glove ...1st & 2nd - 1 out

[Bill McLuggage]

Burke caught the ball?

In his glove, no less

[Bench]

LaRoche - long fly out to a leaping Burke in deep center

My first thought was "great catch, Burke, that's a way to play!" And then I quickly realized that I would expect any central gardener to make that catch.

I guess perspective is in the eye of the beholder.

[Bill McLuggage]

Eldred K looking - 2 out

[Amy]

Loretta "now" at third?  He started there.  Something wrong with Mo?

[Bench]

Loretta "now" at third?  He started there.  Something wrong with Mo?

Mo hyperextended his ankle running the bases.

[homer]

AE saves another.

[Bill McLuggage]

Paulino - infield single to AE who leaves his feet, saves a run.  But he ain't as good as Jeter, right?  Bases loaded - 2 out

[Bench]

Can someone please tell my WHY Adam Everett is allowed to play professional baseball? C'mon!

Oh. That's why. That was nice.

[chuck]

I guess perspective is in the eye of the beholder.

I remember the first couple of weeks after the team had acquired Beltrain. I'd be watching games and see a ball hit to CF and think, Oh, shit, here we go, and then the camera would jump out to CF and Beltran would be gliding over to make the play easily. It took me most of the rest of the season to get used to that.

There's AE again, saving runs. Wow.

[homer]

Quality start for Woodrow.

[Bill McLuggage]

Maholom grounds to 3rd - inning over.

That Everett can't hit...they should trade him and bring up Hidalgo...am I the 10th caller?  Did I win the chicken wing gift certificate?

[Bench]

Quality start for Woodrow.

He pitched well. Got hit on a couple of mistakes up, but managed to avoid the big inning. That's what I hoped we'd get from him on a consistent basis.

[Bench]

Wait a second, the Pirates just made a defensive substitution for the top of the 7th inning? That's plain insulting.

[Bill McLuggage]

Top 7 - 3-0 Pirates

Berkman grounds to the pitcher - 1 out

[rifraft]

did anyone else notice that lee and everett have the highest batting averages in the starting lineup today, with mother fucking .264 avgs.  

[Amy]

I love AE.  Loretta at short is torture after Wingnut.

[Bill McLuggage]

Wait a second, the Pirates just made a defensive substitution for the top of the 7th inning? That's plain insulting.

McClouth replaced Eldred in RF

[Bill McLuggage]

Lee grounds out - just ate so he's not gonna run too hard...

2 out

[Alkie]

Wait.  I can be suspended 3 years for paying for Austin Kearns' lap dance? 

[Bill McLuggage]

Now JD is just teasing Brownie with stories of free flowing alcohol

[Bill McLuggage]

Loretta K - on to the bottom of the 7th - 3-0 Pirates

Astros have 3 hits - wtf?  Is this 1999?

[Bench]

Astros have 3 hits - wtf?  Is this 1999?

2 by Biggio, so, yeah. It could be.

[Bill McLuggage]

Bottom 7

Duffy (despite having the name of a 12 year old red-headed lesbian in 1976):

Pops Wendelstedt with a foul in the chops, then flies out to Lane in right.   1 out.

[Bill McLuggage]

J Wilson - flies to Burke in right-center.  Burke returns to his position, sets and whispers 'don't hit it to me, don't hit to me...'

[rifraft]

WW's ERA is officially under 6.  He pitched well enough to win tonight.  Let's see if the offense decides to show up.

[Bill McLuggage]

Biggio gobbles up Dirty Sanchez's ball down on his knee

3 out.  End of 7

Score?  Pirates 3....and that's it.

[Alkie]

IT'S TRUCK MONTH!  IT'S TRUCK MONTH!

WHY WON'T ANYONE LISTEN???

[Bill McLuggage]

WW's ERA is officially under 6.  He pitched well enough to win tonight.  Let's see if the offense decides to show up.

Highest BA in the lineup right now - Everett .264

[Amy]

Please guys for the love of god hit the fucking ball!

[Bill McLuggage]

Top 8 - Lane skies to center...1 out

[Alkie]

Please guys for the love of god hit the fucking ball!

How much money do you want to leave the stadium right now?

[Bill McLuggage]

Nice play by the ball boy - is he a free agent?

[Bill McLuggage]

Wilson knocks down the AE grounder - out by a half step.  2 away.

Does this even count as baseball?

[Alkie]

Does this even count as baseball?

I'd rather watch us lose 3-0 than 11-4.

[ybbodeus]

Courage!

[Bill McLuggage]

Fucking hell.  These guys must have an X-Box Live match scheduled in 10 minutes.

Quintero flies to center.  3 out.

Bottom 8 - Pirates 3

[rifraft]

So that makes it, 8 innings, 88 pitches, 3 hits, no runs.
Malholm is mowing down the Stros.  

[Bill McLuggage]

I'd rather watch us lose 3-0 than 11-4.

Is Giada cooking on Food Network tonight?  Cuz I'd rather watch that.

[Amy]

Pathetic...fucking pathetic.

[EasTexAstro]

Have the Astros won a game this year when the weather has been warmer than 60 degrees?

Just asking.

Great outing (at least stat-wise) for Woody. Kinda starting to get concerned about the hitting on this team, though.

[Bill McLuggage]

Bottom 8 - Wrecking Ball on to pitch.

[Bench]

So that makes it, 8 innings, 88 pitches, 3 hits, no runs.
Malholm is mowing down the Stros.  

Just when I got used to cringing upon seeing a rookie hard-throwing righty in an upcoming series, they start changing all the questions.

[Jacksonian]

Pathetic...fucking pathetic.

Did you show your tits or leave the stadium?  Any sacrifice?

[Alkie]

Is Giada cooking on Food Network tonight?  Cuz I'd rather watch that.

What's she cooking?

[Bill McLuggage]

Bay - routine fly to center - Burke loses 4 weeks off his life expectancy and makes the grab.  1 out.

[Anit]

this game is whizzing by..

[Bill McLuggage]

What's she cooking?

If it's like every other episode of her show that I've seen, I'd guess tits and pasta.  She must've made that dish about 400 times.

[Alkie]

THERE IT IS.

The annual Brownie Reminds Us He Once Lived in Pittsburgh and Really Thinks You Should Consider Moving There.

[Bench]

I love it when Bill chuckles in response to a JD comment that he clearly has no idea about. That kills me everytime, which, of course, is several times an inning.

[homer]

LaRoche should play for the Astros.

[Bill McLuggage]

LaRoche - K (surprise)

2 out

[Bench]

LaRoche should play for the Astros.

I love how playing the Astros has given Pirate fans a sense of entitlement to the point of booing one of their own players when they're winning late in the game.

[Amy]

If they lose I may sacrifice JDJO.  Or do you think that would anger the BBGs?

[Bill McLuggage]

Bautista grounds out, Berkman to Wheels, inning over.

Top 9 - Pirates 3

Give Cruuuuuz a bat and let's go!!!!

[homer]

If they lose I may sacrifice JDJO.  Or do you think that would anger the BBGs?

No one would notice.

[MRaup]

If they lose I may sacrifice JDJO.  Or do you think that would anger the BBGs?

I don't think you understand the idea behind sacrifice...

My suggestion is to sacrifice your use of the nickname "Wingnut".

[Alkie]

Mo Berg, injured, pinch hitting.

[EasTexAstro]

Don't the Astros get an inning somehwere? Is it the 8th?

I'm just asking. Is it an inning a game where they look ok at bat, or is it a planet alignment kinda thing.

Would it help to get naked? Would it help to get someone else naked?

[Bill McLuggage]

Ensberg says fuck this 'hyperextended' bullshit - gimme a bat.  Pinch hitting for Wheels....

[Bill McLuggage]

I'll check in in half an hour when the at bat is over....

[homer]

Morgan is hitting .293? What the fuck...

[Bill McLuggage]

Oh right...this is the Pirates they're playing....soooo...pop out to catcher in foul territory.

[homer]

I don't think you understand the idea behind sacrifice...

My suggestion is to sacrifice your use of the nickname "Wingnut".

I second that.

[MRaup]

Why is it Major League baseball players just can't seem to comprehend not swinging at borderline pitches when you're down late in the game.

FUCKING CHRIST Morgan.

[Jacksonian]

What's the Astros record against lefty starters so far this year?

[pravata]

I just had the wierdest dream.  Fell asleep on the couch.  And I dreamed I invented a time machine, made of cotton candy and linseed oil, I had to get the contraption up to 88 mph, but I ended up in April 2006.  Wierd.

[rifraft]

Morgan is hitting .293? What the fuck...

how about a 3-1 pop out in foul ground.
can anyone say 3 hit shutout.

[gwat]

Young Zach Duke awakens at the sound of the paper hitting the door. As he skips to the window, his mind is racing.
"TODAY IS THE DAY". Gazing into the first hint of dawn, he can barely contain himself. For today, TODAY,
he gets to put a beautiful spring bonnet on his 9.00 ERA, wheelbarrow it to the mound of his home ballpark, and face
his other favorite team, the Houston Astros. To add to his glee, he has it on good account that, for the second day
in a row, instead of brandishing them menacingly at the plate, they will leave their bats in a safe place. Perhaps, someday
he will be remembered fondly by baseball fans everywhere....like that old feller, Warren Koufax.

[Bill McLuggage]

Biggio grounds out to J Wilson - 2 out.

Who wants to fight?

[chuck]

When a guy's throwing 80 mph Mo's head whip to watch the ump's call just doesn't have the same look.

[MRaup]

PERFECT ENDING! FUCK YOU CHRIS BURKE! YOU! FUCKING! SUCK!

[Anit]

that game was just LESS THAN 2 HOURS LONG...

what the fuck

[chuck]

That Maholm gets a CG shutout every 40 starts just like clockwork.

[homer]

PERFECT ENDING! FUCK YOU CHRIS BURKE! YOU! FUCKING! SUCK!

Yeah, that was a nifty swing by Corky.

[Bill McLuggage]

Ladies and gentlemen - these 'base-ball players' have released you from your obligation.  You are now free to drink some hooch, fuck your wives and eat some pizza.

Burke flies out to left.  Game over.  Pirates 3

Maholom complete game shutout LOWERS his era to 3.96

[Lefty]

What's the Astros record against lefty starters so far this year?

1-5 after tonight.

[Ty in Tampa]

Had to stay late at work. Thought I'd get home, settle in with a beer and watch the 7 inning on. What the fuck just happened?

[ybbodeus]

THERE IT IS.

The annual Brownie Reminds Us He Once Lived in Pittsburgh and Really Thinks You Should Consider Moving There.

Not nearly as bad as Verne Lundquist's mentioning an athlete's being from Dallas, even if the longest stint said player might have had was a 3 hour layover waiting for his American Eagle flight to Lawton.

[EasTexAstro]

Had to stay late at work. Thought I'd get home, settle in with a beer and watch the 7 inning on. What the fuck just happened?

Go to Huntsville, get in the shower, drop the soap.

It all happened very fast and you don't want to remember it tomorrow.

[WulawHorn]

A little harsh on Burke Mark- but I agree with the general assessment.

I'm no fan of his.  I don't understand the organizations love of the guy, I think he's a horrible CF and not sure if he would be any offensive upgrade over an 876 year old craig biggio.

[pravata]

Had to stay late at work. Thought I'd get home, settle in with a beer and watch the 7 inning on. What the fuck just happened?

I'm kinda pissed off that I just reran that game in my head for about 5 seconds trying to think of how to summarize it. 

[Alkie]

A little harsh on Burke Mark- but I agree with the general assessment.

I'm no fan of his.  I don't understand the organizations love of the guy, I think he's a horrible CF and not sure if he would be any offensive upgrade over an 876 year old craig biggio.

Let's see.  Can't hit for average.  Can't hit for power.  Not much of an arm.  Terrible OF.  5-of-5 so far in steals this year.

So, at best, he's a 1 tool player.  Why is this guy starting?  Why is this guy an Astro?

[mihoba]

I'm kinda pissed off that I just reran that game in my head for about 5 seconds trying to think of how to summarize it. 

I'm going to use all these quotes in the recap. It's going to be ugly.

How the hell am I supposed to describe the slam bam we just witnessed?

[pravata]

Let's see.  Can't hit for average.  Can't hit for power.  Not much of an arm.  Terrible OF.  5-of-5 so far in steals this year.

So, at best, he's a 1 tool player.  Why is this guy starting?  Why is this guy an Astro?

LoOk, I dont know that you noticed, but these AStroS are the tYpe thaat lay low, hide in they dugout until the 8th, 9th, sometims even the 9tha annd a half inning, hthten theyPOUNCE! It syrprises the other team, they never see it coming.   

[pravata]

I'm going to use all these quotes in the recap. It's going to be ugly.

How the hell am I supposed to describe the slam bam we just witnessed?

Maholm and Bush have combined for 17 shutout innings in the past two games.  I give you that for free.

[WulawHorn]

Let's see.  Can't hit for average.  Can't hit for power.  Not much of an arm.  Terrible OF.  5-of-5 so far in steals this year.

So, at best, he's a 1 tool player.  Why is this guy starting?  Why is this guy an Astro?

yeah- but on at least two of those steals he was hosed by a good bit and the 2b/SS mucked up the exchange, leading to him being called safe.

[remy]

Did we win?

[Alkie]

LoOk, I dont know that you noticed, but these AStroS are the tYpe thaat lay low, hide in they dugout until the 8th, 9th, sometims even the 9tha annd a half inning, hthten theyPOUNCE! It syrprises the other team, they never see it coming.   

Let me know when the 9th inning starts then.  I wish to witness the syrupize.

[pravata]

Let me know when the 9th inning starts then.  I wish to witness the syrupize.

ennny minute now....just you wait.

[Alkie]

ennny minute now....just you wait.

I'm not sure which faction in here you're mocking, but I'm deeply offended.

[pravata]

I'm not sure which faction in here you're mocking, but I'm deeply offended.

That makes two of us.

[pravata]

Early Footer,

"Other than that, (Biggio's hits) the Astros were wholly unspectacular"

wont bother to link because it's not going to make the final version.

[Alkie]

Early Footer,

"Other than that, (Biggio's hits) the Astros were wholly unspectacular"

wont bother to link because it's not going to make the final version.

0-4 against the Bucs now.

The 07 Pirates are the 06 Reds.  When we miss the playoffs by a game, you can look to the season series against the Buccos.

[austro]

I get home, it's 6:50, I motion for the remote, my daughter asks if I can't wait for 10 minutes for the end of her show. Ok, no problem.  7:00 comes, I'm out of the room, by the time I get back my wife and daughter have Gilmore Girls on, and I'm out of luck again. Oh well, I'll still get the last 2 1/2 innings or so, so I go cook dinner.  Gilmore Girls ends, so I switch over to the 'Stros just in time to watch Ensberg-Biggio-Burke go down 1-2-3 in approximately 35 milliseconds, game over.

Paul Maholm? Complete game? Three hits? Two hours? That's ridiculous.

[Alkie]

AAAAAAAAAAGH.

How do NONE of you people own a second TV???

It's 2007 people.  There are more TVs in America than AMERICANS in America. 

[pravata]

AAAAAAAAAAGH.

How do NONE of you people own a second TV???

It's 2007 people.  There are more TVs in America than AMERICANS in America. 

Every single room of the house, and it's a big house.  Seriously, 21st Century, cheap technology, connects you with the world.  Learn to filter.

[ybbodeus]

AAAAAAAAAAGH.

How do NONE of you people own a second TV???

It's 2007 people.  There are more TVs in America than AMERICANS in America. 

I need 8 tvs at my house to stay consistent with your example.  "We're the curvebusters!"

TWO of the four tvs were on the game, fwiw.  That's a higher percentage than we're witnessing here, it would seem.

[MusicMan]

that game was just LESS THAN 2 HOURS LONG...

what the fuck

Dude, you just found the "glass half full" of the night.

[ybbodeus]

that game was just LESS THAN 2 HOURS LONG...

what the fuck

And Roy wasn't pitching!

[Amy]

Dude, you just found the "glass half full" of the night.

Yep, I was at the bar, waiting on my hamburger and beer to arrive by 9:30pm.  Cold comfort indeed.