Marlins v. Astros - 4/16/07

[homer]

Fish

Ramirez, SS
Uggla, 2B
Cabrera, 3B
Willingham, LF
Jacobs, 1B
Ross, CF
Olivo, C
Borchard, RF
Sanchez, P

Astros

Biggio, 2B
Loretta, SS
Berkman, 1B
Lee, LF
Ensberg, 3B
Scott, RF
Burke, CF
Ausmus, C
Rodriguez, P

[remy]

Is Austin screwed tonight?  Channel 77?  Anything?

[Anit]

thank god for that throw..

[Amy]

WOW, I can't believe Ramirez went for the inside-the-parker!!  Thanks Hanley!!

[homer]

JD says "youthful exuberance". Homer says "stupidity".

[mihoba]

thank god for that throw..

here we go again.

[Alkie]

Ok, I'm tivo'ing the game and am 3 minutes behind you guys, so I'll be commenting on what you saw 2 batters ago.  Don't ruin the game for me.

[homer]

Handjob gets gunned down on a perfect one hop throw at home trying to stretch an inside the parker...

Uggla walks.

Miggy grounds into the DP, Ensberg picks it on the short hop.

[homer]

Ok, I'm tivo'ing the game and am 3 minutes behind you guys, so I'll be commenting on what you saw 2 batters ago.  Don't ruin the game for me.

Shouldn't you be out getting a life?

[homer]

Handjob lays back on one deep in the hole, double clutches, and Bidge beats him by a step.

[Alkie]

Man, was THAT stupid!  I sure hope the Fish don't score in this inning.

[homer]

Loretta drives one to the track in left center (under the pump). 1 down.

[Alkie]

What's Craig at now?

[homer]

What's Craig at now?

1st

2nd now.

Lance sends a laser off Jacob's glove, he can't find it, and Berkman reaches. 2 on, 1 down.

[Alkie]

Who's on.....wait a second.........you thought you had me, didn't you?

[Alkie]

Fuck.

[homer]

Flapjack to third, Miggy steps on the bag and throws to 1st for the DP.

[EasTexAstro]

Berkman drives one to first, off his glove, 2nd baseman picks it, throws to the pitcher covering first and he's......SAFE!!!


First, I hope Berkman can find some bigger hits soon.

Second, after the third defender got the ball and it was STILL a close play at 1st....

Note, I can't see it, but it sounded like Berkman stopped by the dugout to drop off his bat before strolling to first.

[Alkie]

C'mon dude, give Lance a fucking break.  He saw a spoon halfway up the line.

[homer]

Willingham flies out to deep center. Burke has to reach way over his head to reel it in. 1 down.

[homer]

Jacobs walks on the 3-1. 1 on, 1 down.

Wandy is not particularly sharp. Brownie and JD say its the time off.

[EasTexAstro]

So, Phillies are getting used to the rainout thingee. I guess it beats the losses.

So, they make that one up in June. Has there ever been a time when a team played a double header against two different teams, cause the Phillies seem to be running out of off days.

BTW, Pirates are up by three, still batting in the 1st at STL.

[EasTexAstro]

Wandy "I like that Double play thing" Rodriguez.

[homer]

Ross goes 2-2 on a pretty good changeup. Chops to Ensberg for the around the horn DP.

[homer]

So, Phillies are getting used to the rainout thingee. I guess it beats the losses.

So, they make that one up in June. Has there ever been a time when a team played a double header against two different teams, cause the Phillies seem to be running out of off days.

BTW, Pirates are up by three, still batting in the 1st at STL.

Yeah, and Cleveland. I think they have a half dozen to makeup already.

[EasTexAstro]

So, Wandy only has 26 pitches through 2, so not bad. Unfortunately, he has thrown more balls than strikes.

Results DO matter.

[Anit]

lets hope these sunglasses work at minute maid for moberg

[homer]

Ensberg falls behind 1-2. Has the glasses on. Comes even 2-2. 3-2, and the walk. Leadoff walk, bad for business.

[EasTexAstro]

I got the MO WALKIN BLUES...........


BTW, I donated blood just before heading to the liquor store tonight and now I am listening to a fuzzy Milo.

No telling what I will post over the next few hours tonight (if the guys in the white coats don't find me first.)

[homer]

Scott ahead 2-0. Big drive to the track to the left of the Astros bullpen. 1 down.

[homer]

Burke sends one to the track in right center, 2 down. Ensberg still hanging out at 1st.

[rifraft]

lots of balls hit to the track, what's up, the wind blowing in?

[homer]

They have been working on Ensberg at first quite a bit. 6 or 7 throws.

B-rod gets ahead 2-0. 3-0. Sanchez is throwin a lot of sliders that are just missing. 3-1. Fastball in, ball four. 2 on.

Wandy to the dish.

[Alkie]

Brad takes a walk; turns the card over for the next inning.

Does anyone here have a way to see how many runs are scored in innings that start at each batting position?  For example, how many runs does a team score (on avg) when the inning starts at the 9 spot vs the 1 spot?

[homer]

lots of balls hit to the track, what's up, the wind blowing in?

JD says 'using the whole park'.  Sanchez just looked funky on his delivery, immediate visit by the catcher.

[homer]

Brad takes a walk; turns the card over for the next inning.

Does anyone here have a way to see how many runs are scored in innings that start at each batting position?  For example, how many runs does a team score (on avg) when the inning starts at the 9 spot vs the 1 spot?

CBS has those splits I am pretty sure.

[homer]

Wandy goes down on strikes.

[EasTexAstro]

Is the zone tight tonight? Earlier, it sounded like a couple of pitches were close, but not called. That isn't a knew thing and it isn't like Milo is actually watching the game, but I was just curious if both pitchers were just throwing all kinds of stuff up there with mixed results.

[homer]

Is the zone tight tonight? Earlier, it sounded like a couple of pitches were close, but not called. That isn't a knew thing and it isn't like Milo is actually watching the game, but I was just curious if both pitchers were just throwing all kinds of stuff up there with mixed results.

Neither pitcher is sharp thus far. Have been some close ones, but they haven't earned the calls.

[EasTexAstro]

Neither pitcher is sharp thus far. Have been some close ones, but they haven't earned the calls.

Many thanks.

[homer]

Olivo falls behind 0-2. High curve in, 1-2. Curve fouled off his foot, stays 1-2. Fouls back. 2-2, then high cheese for the K.

[EasTexAstro]

Well, the interview going on sounds like it could be interesting...


and Milo just asked Dave if that was a strikeout.

Can I listen to the Marlins broadcast?

[homer]

Borchard with a hit up the middle. Loretta was way around in the hole. 1 on, 1 down.

[homer]

Sanchez falls behind 0-2. Bunt down, Ausmus takes a long look at second but takes the easy put out at first. 2 down, man on 2nd.

[Amy]

Borchard with a hit up the middle. Loretta was way around in the hole. 1 on, 1 down.

Pretty sure that's an out with Everett out there.  I think going with Loretta and Biggio as your double play combination is a bad idea.

[EasTexAstro]

Milo is now recapping the 1st inning, 1st batter.

[Amy]

The ump is not being generous with the outside corner tonight.

[EasTexAstro]

Roy can not only drive a bulldozer, he seems to be pretty good in a shuttle simulator, too.

[Amy]

Lance gave that foul ball up the line a really good go, but it was never going to happen.

[homer]

Handjob goes 1-1 on a curve that looked low and in. 2-1. A little cat and mouse between Wandy and Handjob. Fucking really good looking pitch on the outside corner for ball 3. 3-1. FB right at the knees, 3-2. High chop down the 3rd baseline, foul. High pop down right field line, drops in foul territory. Still 3-2. Curve low for the swinging K.

[Amy]

Wandy got Ramirez to swing at a nice curveball for out #3.

[EasTexAstro]

Captain Coates, head of NASA. Cool.

Milo just said, "It is funny they call you captain because that is what they call me."

I swear, he said it.....or the drugs are finally setting in.

[Bench]

Well, the interview going on sounds like it could be interesting...


and Milo just asked Dave if that was a strikeout.

Can I listen to the Marlins broadcast?

Milo was in pure-Milo-mode that inning.

The "interview" was entirely Milo making bad jokes, with the still nameless director of NASA quickly giving up trying to get any words in. At least when the commercials started, I knew the inning ended, cause there was certainly no way else to know what was happening.

[homer]

Bidge up 3-1.  Chases a slider low and away for a pop to Uggla. 1 down.

[homer]

Alkie - Splits here: http://www.sportsline.com/mlb/teams/stats/HOU

[EasTexAstro]

Ugh...I hear a Florence Henderson moment coming on.

I now know about the Constellation Program, with a helpful Honeymooners reference from Milo: "To the moon....and beyond!"

[Bench]

Bidge up 3-1.  Chases a slider low and away for a pop to Uggla. 1 down.

Maybe he thinks getting a walk this season will count against 3000.

[homer]

Loretta flares to Uggla in short right, 2 down.

[Amy]

Milo was in pure-Milo-mode that inning.

The "interview" was entirely Milo making bad jokes, with the still nameless director of NASA quickly giving up trying to get any words in. At least when the commercials started, I knew the inning ended, cause there was certainly no way else to know what was happening.

I guess you're listening on an actual radio and not the internet, right?  Because if you have GameDay Audio you should be able to choose the Marlins' broadcast.  I've got the Marlins' TV broadcast and these guys are not as bad as Milo, but they're a far cry from Brownie and JD.

[EasTexAstro]

Ugh...I hear a Florence Henderson moment coming on.

I now know about the Constellation Program, with a helpful Honeymooners reference from Milo: "To the moon....and beyond!"

Yes, I am quoting myself. Wondering if that is the Honeymooners, as Milo said, or Buzz Lightyear...

[Bench]

Ugh...I hear a Florence Henderson moment coming on.

I now know about the Constellation Program, with a helpful Honeymooners reference from Milo: "To the moon....and beyond!"

One day I'd like to listen to a 3 hour compilation of Milo laughing at his own bad jokes and outdated cultural references.

What's that? That happens every day the Astros are in town?

[homer]

Berkman (JD calls HR to right) goes up 2-0. Missed a fatty, foul makes it 2-1. 3-1. FB up for the walk.

[Bench]

Yes, I am quoting myself. Wondering if that is the Honeymooners, as Milo said, or Buzz Lightyear...

Good call. That totally slipped by me.

Nice steal Lance!

[EasTexAstro]

Woah....Berkman on first....ok, it seems it was a walk....and Lance stole a second, or a sesame bun?

[Amy]

Lee hits a little flare to Uggla for out #3.  Ugh!

[homer]

Flapjack down 0-2. On a ball in the dirt, Berkman gets the steal on a HUGE jump. Next pitch is a weak liner to Uggla to end the frame.

Olivo is pissed at Sanchez about mechanics, made several gestures.

[Alkie]

Alkie - Splits here: http://www.sportsline.com/mlb/teams/stats/HOU

Thanks man.  I don't think I said it right (my bad).

What I meant was....how many runs does any team avg in innings that are started by each spot in the lineup.

So like, when an inning is started at the #1 spot, how many runs do they avg?  When a team starts an offensive inning at the #8 spot in the lineup, how many runs do they avg?  And so on.

What I'm trying to get at is...just how much more likely is a team (any team) to score in an inning starting at the top of the order than with the pitcher. 

[homer]

Uggla takes one on a short hop on his backhand side, while sliding, gets the 4-3. 1 down.

[Amy]

Nice pick Bidge!  Ground ball just to the right of 2B, Bidge picked it on a slide and threw to Berkman.

[homer]

Miggy bounces to Lance, has a little trouble getting it out of his glove. Flips to Wandy, 2 down.

[EasTexAstro]

Milo must have chased down Captain Coates to lay some more humor on him. I am actually listening to PBP!

[homer]

Willingham draws even at 1-1. 2-1. Drops the curve in for 2-2. FB up and out, 3-2. FB in, walk.

[Alkie]

This is why I do what I do for a living and why Gar and Purpura do what they do for a living. 

I will stay off Wandy's ass as long as he keeps pitching effectively.  I honestly didn't think he could put two good outings together, but he's been totally servicable so far.  I'd still take Sampson over him, but perhaps I should stop giving Wandy the Holt Treatment. 

[homer]

Jacobs (JD complaining about tight zone) goes 1-1. 1-2 on a foul. Deep drive just short of the track in left center, between the pump and hill hauled in by Peepers.

[Amy]

This is why I do what I do for a living and why Gar and Purpura do what they do for a living. 

I will stay off Wandy's ass as long as he keeps pitching effectively.  I honestly didn't think he could put two good outings together, but he's been totally servicable so far.  I'd still take Sampson over him, but perhaps I should stop giving Wandy the Holt Treatment. 

Let's see him get through at least one more inning.  I'm not anti-Wandy like some, but it is my perception that in many starts he gets through a few innings pretty decently, but can't escape that one big inning.

[EasTexAstro]

This is why I do what I do for a living and why Gar and Purpura do what they do for a living. 

I will stay off Wandy's ass as long as he keeps pitching effectively.  I honestly didn't think he could put two good outings together, but he's been totally servicable so far.  I'd still take Sampson over him, but perhaps I should stop giving Wandy the Holt Treatment. 

What the heck do you think you are doing? He LIKES the abuse. He is performing for YOU, Alkie!

Try that thing where you imagine him in leather and the ball in his mouth again.

[Bench]

I will stay off Wandy's ass ...

Given his nasty bout of sores this time last year, I'd say that's a really good policy.

[homer]

Mo goes 1-1. 1-2 on a foul. Stat says MoBerg sees 4.8 p/ab, tops in the majors. JD says that it was a source of fustration for team last year. 3-2. Walk, leadoff walk.

[Amy]

Sanchez has the yips or something.  Those last two pitches were nowhere near the strike zone.

[Alkie]

Try that thing where you imagine him in leather and the ball in his mouth again.

You mean where I imagine he has his glove on and takes a linedrive to the face?

[pravata]

Thanks man.  I don't think I said it right (my bad).

What I meant was....how many runs does any team avg in innings that are started by each spot in the lineup.

So like, when an inning is started at the #1 spot, how many runs do they avg?  When a team starts an offensive inning at the #8 spot in the lineup, how many runs do they avg?  And so on.

What I'm trying to get at is...just how much more likely is a team (any team) to score in an inning starting at the top of the order than with the pitcher. 

I didnt know what to expect after the 10 day layoff.  The Astros are giving him good support flashing the leather.

[EasTexAstro]

You mean where I imagine he has his glove on and takes a linedrive to the face?

Yep. That's .er..what I meant.

[homer]

Scott gets ahead 2-0. Zone is consistently tight, Olivo visits the mound. Pitch way out, 3-0. Greenlight 3-0, swings right through. Indicates he pulled his head off the pitch. 2nd walk, 2 on.

[Amy]

Every pitch except the one Luke took a big hack at were well out of the zone.  Two on for Burkelet now.

[EasTexAstro]

I'm losing my feed and now gameday has Burke batting for Berkman.


ETA: Nevrmind. Drugs kicking in.

[Bench]

Alkie, how many times does a team score on average when the first two batters of an inning walk?

[Amy]

Crap!  Well at least the fly to right got Mo over to third.

[Bench]

That's a lot of deep flyballs with little to show on the night.

[homer]

Peepers takes ball 1. Pitching coach to the hill. 1-1 on a ball that has been a ball thus far this evening. Fly just short of the track in front of 373 sign in right. ENsberg tags, corners, 1 down.

[JaneDoe]

Captain Coates, head of NASA. Cool.

Milo just said, "It is funny they call you captain because that is what they call me."

I swear, he said it.....or the drugs are finally setting in.

yep, he said it.

[Alkie]

Alkie, how many times does a team score on average when the first two batters of an inning walk?

1.50

I'm not making that up.

[Amy]

Sac fly to center for Bradley!

[homer]

Ausmus goes ahead 2-0. Sanchez has fucking lost control. JD fears GIDP. Fly to center, Ensberg tags. 1-0 good guys, 2 down.

[Bench]

1.50

I'm not making that up.

That sounds about right. My first guess is it would be higher.

I wouldn't think you would make that up. I figured you had run across that looking for the answer to your earlier query.

[homer]

Wandy bounces to first, 3 unassisted.

[Alkie]

That sounds about right. My first guess is it would be higher.

I wouldn't think you would make that up. I figured you had run across that looking for the answer to your earlier query.

I only said that because 1.50 sounds made up (it sounds like a rounded guess).

[Bench]

At least this helps the "productive outs" stat that everyone was bleating about last year.

[Amy]

Another ball up the middle that Everett probably gets to.

[homer]

Ross back up the middle. Loretta way over in the hole again. 1 on.

[Bench]

Sounds like the bloom is coming off Wandy's start.

[Anit]

chris burke is..not so good in center..

[Amy]

Jesus, Burke dove for that ball and didn't come within a yard of it.  Gets past him to drive in the run.

[remy]

Well that didn't last long.

[homer]

Olivo rifles a high pitch to right center, Burke makes a dive (unadvised) and can't get it. Ball rolls to track. Run scores, Olivo to 2nd.

[homer]

Borchard goes down 0-2. Down on strikes looking.

[Bench]

Olivo rifles a high pitch to right center, Burke makes a dive (unadvised) and can't get it. Ball rolls to track. Run scores, Olivo to 2nd.

What a gamer.

[EasTexAstro]

On a good note, Wandy is now throwing more strikes than balls.

[Alkie]

Jesus, Burke dove for that ball and didn't come within a yard of it.  Gets past him to drive in the run.

Yard?  Man, are you being generous.

[homer]

Sanchez goes 1-2 on a missed bunt try. Whiffs on the hook. 2 down.

[Bench]

On a good note, Wandy is now throwing more strikes than balls.

Sounds like he's really bearing down after those first two hits.

[mihoba]

You guys are kicking ass, keep up the good descriptive work.

Thanks, seriously.

[Amy]

That was a pretty good curveball for the K.  Come on Wandy, one more!

[Bench]

You guys are kicking ass, keep up the good descriptive work.

Thanks, seriously.

Hey man, don't blame me. I can only tell you what Milo tells me.

[Amy]

Yard?  Man, are you being generous.

Well, try the alternate meaning of "yard" then.

[homer]

Handjob comes even 1-1. 1-2 on a FB on the outside corner. Slow chop to Mo, good throw but not in time. Corners, 2 down.

[Bench]

Hand job chops it to Morgan. The ball dies in the grass as it comes down, and he beats the throw.

Olivo on third, Hand job on first. Two down.

[mihoba]

Hey man, don't blame me. I can only tell you what Milo tells me.

Having Milo (sounds strange) is better than what I have. I never get TV when 51 is scheduled. No radio station in this area either.

[Amy]

Damn, that first pitch to Uggla looked pretty good, but the ump's just not calling it tonight.

[Alkie]

Well, try the alternate meaning of "yard" then.

Done.  You're right, that is about how close he was.

Anyone ever tell you that you look just like WalrusIsAl?

[Bench]

Having Milo (sounds strange) is better than what I have. I never get TV when 51 is scheduled. No radio station in this area either.

I don't get KNWS either here in the Golden Triange. Griping aside, it's kind of fun to tune in to the radio every now and again.

I will actually miss Milo when he's gone. His voice is very familiar, and he consistenty (albeit unintentionally) cracks me up.

ETA: Replaced soothing with familiar. The former is just creepy.

[Alkie]

Nice fucking pitch.

[Amy]

Yes!!  Got Uggla to swing at a fastball low and away for the K!

[homer]

Uggla's first pitch is bullshit ball right on the corner. 2-0. 3-0. FUCK. Wandy is about to explode, didn't like first call. 3-1. FB a little in 3-2. FB on outside corner for the swinging K.

[pravata]

Yard?  Man, are you being generous.

I have seen tropical fish that play a better centerfield than Burke.

[Amy]

That was a pretty good job for Wandy.  I think that's the kind of inning he was letting blow up on him in the past.  Maybe he's getting his shit together.

[Amy]

Go Bidge!  Single through the hole to LF.

[homer]

Bidge smacks it into left. 2942.

[Bench]

With Biggio, god bless him, a walk isn't as good as a hit.

Keep adding to that tally, Craig.

[Amy]

Bidge smacks it into left. 2942.

2942 with the infield hit in the first, right?

[remy]

Game threads just aren't as fun when you have no telecast, and your internet radio feed is about 2 minutes behind!

[Rebel Jew]

JD:  "4th time in 5 innings the astros have had the leadoff man reach"

[Alkie]

I have seen tropical fish that play a better centerfield than Burke.

Ok, this is going to sound like a very silly question, and normally I would agree with that, but here goes:

Obviously everyone can plainly see that Burke is not a CF.  Not by damn sight.  So, to that end, it's clear that we're saying "we will do anything to get this man's bat in the lineup."

Why?

Why not put Scott in CF and Lamb in RF then?  Wouldn't it make more sense to get Lamb into the lineup and pray every time someone pops up to the OF?

[Bench]

For the record:

Milo just started singing Tom Jones.

[EasTexAstro]

Mihoba,

I thought for sure there was a radio station down that way that you would be able to pick up. 1340 am?

[Amy]

Ok, this is going to sound like a very silly question, and normally I would agree with that, but here goes:

Obviously everyone can plainly see that Burke is not a CF.  Not by damn sight.  So, to that end, it's clear that we're saying "we will do anything to get this man's bat in the lineup."

Why?

Why not put Scott in CF and Lamb in RF then?  Wouldn't it make more sense to get Lamb into the lineup and pray every time someone pops up to the OF?

You mean Lane right?  Lamb is a hideous, god-awful excuse for an outfielder.

[Alkie]

1.50 runs.

[homer]

Loretta gets ahead 2-0. Astros have GOT to get to this piece of shit, he does not deserve a win. Olivo back to the mound. Hit and run on, fouled away, 2-1. Brownie reports 40/40 B/S for Dirty. 3-1.  Activity in the pen. HOLY FUCK, strike called on a pitch up and in. 3-2. Foul (had to fight off some bullshit up and in because fuckstick ump can't stay consistent). Been working on Bidge. Hit into right center, 2 on.

[Alkie]

You mean Lane right?  Lamb is a hideous, god-awful excuse for an outfielder.

I meant what I said and said what I meant.  Lamb ain't any worse in RF than Burke in CF.  And that's no shit.

[pravata]

Ok, this is going to sound like a very silly question, and normally I would agree with that, but here goes:

Obviously everyone can plainly see that Burke is not a CF.  Not by damn sight.  So, to that end, it's clear that we're saying "we will do anything to get this man's bat in the lineup."

Why?

Why not put Scott in CF and Lamb in RF then?  Wouldn't it make more sense to get Lamb into the lineup and pray every time someone pops up to the OF?

I have no idea.  But I have seen, even on a routine fly, he doesnt know which foot to lead with into the catch.

[JaneDoe]

Why didn't Bidge get to 3rd?

[Bench]

1.50 runs.

When you factor in the meat of the order, rather than the end of the NL batting order, this should be on the high side.

[remy]

Milo is unbearable.

[mihoba]

Mihoba,

I thought for sure there was a radio station down that way that you would be able to pick up. 1340 am?

1340, is that Nac? In the daytime I can just barely get 740 from Houston.

[Amy]

Milo is unbearable.

Check your messages Remy.

[Bench]

Why didn't Bidge get to 3rd?

Poor read, looked back at the ball rounding second rather than looking at Doug. He should have made it standing, according to Milo.

[pravata]

Why didn't Bidge get to 3rd?

deked

[Amy]

Poor read, looked back at the ball rounding second rather than looking at Doug. He should have made it standing, according to Milo.

I don't think so.  The hit was pretty shallow and the fielder got to it quickly.  Maybe it was a conservative play, but 3B was not a gimme IMO.

[Bench]

1340, is that Nac? In the daytime I can just barely get 740 from Houston.

I don't know if 1380 gets up there, but it is broadcast from Beaumont.

[Alkie]

I have no idea.  But I have seen, even on a routine fly, he doesnt know which foot to lead with into the catch.

No, it's really weird because when you think about what a "bad" fielder in the majors is, you don't even consider what Burke is doing in CF.

He's not "bad" so much as he is grossly incompetent.  And his bat ain't nearly good enough to demand we find him a place on the diamond.  

[Bench]

I don't think so.  The hit was pretty shallow and the fielder got to it quickly.  Maybe it was a conservative play, but 3B was not a gimme IMO.

Hey now, all I can do is tell you what Milo tells me.

[homer]

Lance ahead 2-0. Dirty is no where near the plate. Olivo back to the mound. JD predicts that the Astros will deliver a blow, hasn't made mistakes over the plate yet. Lance jumps on one, but smokes it fould down the right field line. 2-1. Slider down, swining, 2-2. Takes some trash on the inside in the dirt, 3-2. Another ripped foul. Fuckin bull fucking shit ball low for K looking.

[JaneDoe]

Does Berkman need glasses? Dadgumit, he just doesn't look the same this year.  Maybe he needs the pressure of being "the man" and having Carlos has screwed him up.

[EasTexAstro]

1340, is that Nac? In the daytime I can just barely get 740 from Houston.

I thought it was Orange or Port Arther.

I get 927. out of Crockett and 1260 out of Lufkin...sometimes.

[homer]

Flapjack goes 2-0. MOTHERFUCKER, somebody make dude pay. Flies to right, Bidge advances.

[Bench]

I thought it was Orange or Port Arther.

That's 1380.

[EasTexAstro]

That's 1380.

My bad. I only get it on perfect conditions, on top of a hill, with my underwear on my head.

[Amy]

Morgan has a great repertoire of dramatic bail moves, LOL.

[Bench]

Joey Trum: I saw your "don't let this fish off the hook" line. Don't think that by quickly deleting it, you can avoid the rotten tomatoes.

That being said, I'm shocked -- shocked! -- Milo hasn't beat you to it on that one.

[homer]

Ensberg in the glasses, big cut for strike 1. 1-1. 2-1. PLEASE, hit something. Up and in, Ensberg theatrics for 3-1.  Popped up into about 5th row down past the Astros dugout. 3-2 now. Pitch 100 ,  taken, bases loaded.

[mihoba]

My bad. I only get it on perfect conditions, on top of a hill, with my underwear on my head.

That was you?

[Amy]

I would really prefer Mo to be aggressive there, but those last two pitches were so high and inside he couldn't do anything but take them.

[EasTexAstro]

That was you?

Not anymore. I live in town, now, and they seem to have cewrtain "laws" around here or some such.

[Bench]

Luke's been hanging out with Mo too much.

"Right down the middle" Bret or Dave says.

[homer]

After visit to the mound, Scott, hacking at the first pitch low and in. 0-1. Pitch way in, 1-1. Checks a swing for a foul, 1-2. FUCK. Pitch up, 2-2. Foul down the right field line. Rung him up looking, painted the outside corner. SON OF A BITCH.

[Amy]

(*#$@#(*&$#@%*)%!!!!!!!  AARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

Luke looks at strike three.

[Bench]

Important update:

Now that the game is official, Bruce Froemming now holds the record for most years of service as a major league umpire with 37 years.

[remy]

They're honoring Bruce Froemming on the field right now.  I wasn't expecting that one.

[pravata]

Luke's been hanging out with Mo too much.

"Right down the middle" Bret or Dave says.

It was kind of tailing away.  But this guy is so wild it's easy to give up on a pitch.  

[homer]

Important update:

Now that the game is official, Bruce Froemming now holds the record for most years of service as a major league umpire with 37 years.

TV stayed to watch him waddle in and receive award.

[EasTexAstro]

TV stayed to watch him waddle in and receive award.

I prefered the "receive awared"

[Amy]

They're honoring Bruce Froemming on the field right now.  I wasn't expecting that one.

Me either, it was nice though.  As Froemming headed to the plate, Ausmus shook his hand and patted him on the shoulder, congratulating him.  Froemming has been umpiring since Ausmus was a year old.  That's not nothing.

[Bench]

Me either, it was nice though.  As Froemming headed to the plate, Ausmus shook his hand and patted him on the shoulder, congratulating him.  Froemming has been umpiring since Ausmus was a year old.  That's not nothing.

What was the price of a Pontiac back then?

[Amy]

What was the price of a Pontiac back then?

Beats me, I'm two years younger than Ausmus.

[homer]

Miggy down 0-2. Big swing at the hook, gets a piece. Jams him for another foul. Fights another off down and in. 1-2. 2-2, Wandy staying away. Sharply to Mo, has trouble with the pick but 5-3.

[pravata]

What was the price of a Pontiac back then?

What does that have to do with the price of stamps?

[homer]

Willingham chops to 3rd, 2 down.

[Amy]

Nice pick up the line by Lance.  Good throw to Wandy, out #3.

[homer]

Jacobs, back hand Berkman on the line, 3-1.

[The Spleen]

What was the price of a Pontiac back then?

What was the price of a run back then?

[Bench]

What does that have to do with the price of stamps?

Stamps! That was it. I thought it was a pound of a butter.

[Bench]

Jacobs, back hand Berkman on the line, 3-1.

For the record:

Milo awarded Lance a blue star on that play.

Also, Milo just urged Burke to "go deeper" and then broke off into an awkward giggle.

[EasTexAstro]

What was the price of a Pontiac back then?

Just over 40,000 GTO's were made in 1970, with a sticker price of $3267 for the two door hardtop and $3492 for the convertible. The Judge option added $337.02 to the list price.

http://www.1-18scalecars.com/0Pontiac_1970_GTO_Judge.htm

[homer]

Lindstrom on.

Peepers can't catch up with 100mph. Fouls it back, another 100mph. 0-2. Changeup (at 90mph) fouled. Sharply grounds a 100mph into right.

[Bench]

http://www.1-18scalecars.com/0Pontiac_1970_GTO_Judge.htm

No shit? Hell, I could afford one of them.

[pravata]

Stamps! That was it. I thought it was a pound of a butter.

Pound of sassafras.  Pound of telegrams.  Pound of quill pens.  Pound of Bruce Froemming

[Amy]

Ausmus tried to bunt a ball at his head, then ducked out of the way.  Burke would have been dead meat but the throw went into CF.

[Bench]

Pound of sassafras.  Pound of telegrams.  Pound of quill pens.

And they wore onions on their belts, as was the style at the time.

[pravata]

And they wore onions on their belts, as was the style at the time.

Persnactly yah whippersnapper.

[Amy]

Damn, Ausmus hacked at a hanging slider up and in for strike three.

[homer]

Ausmus can't get the bunt fair for strike 1. Burke is moving on a bunt attempt, ball high, slides in as throw goes into center, but can't advance. Corners in on the grass. 99mph in, 2-1. Foul, 2-2. K swinging. 1 down.

Wandy out, OP.

[Alkie]

Why the FUCK was Brad not bunting???

[Bench]

Man, Wandy is owed a run here.

[Bench]

Why the FUCK was Brad not bunting???

What? I thought he was. He was hacking with one strike?

[EasTexAstro]

Cubs are molesting the Padres 12-1 in the 6th, still batting.

Brewers drowning Reds, 9-4 in 8th.

Pirates downing Cardinals 3-0 in the 7th.

Not much interesting to do with just watching gameday.

[homer]

OP take ball 1 high. Foul, 1-1. Dirt, 2-1. Down, 3-1. This guy doesn't have great control. JD predicts heat. Heat down, walk.

[EasTexAstro]

Good job, Wandy. Another nice outing.

[homer]

What? I thought he was. He was hacking with one strike?

When Burke stole he started swining.

[Amy]

What? I thought he was. He was hacking with one strike?

After Burke advanced, Gar must have taken the bunt off.

[Bench]

When Burke stole he started swining.

That makes sense. Get the run in from second.

[Alkie]

When Burke stole he started swining.

That's right.  Swining.  That's EXACTLY what he was doing.

What was more likely, Gar....Ausmus strikes out against a man throwing 100 or Brad gets the fucking bunt down and we bring up OP with the lead run on 3B and 1 out?  

Goddammit.

[homer]

Bidge takes a breaker down. FB down, 2-0. FUCKING fouls the heat, dammit, 2-1. Chops to Jacobs, can't get 2, 2nd and 3rd with 2 down.

[JaneDoe]

Thank you Loretta!

[homer]

Loretta gets a line drive hit to center. Peepers in, OP slides under the tag, ball gets away, Loretta to 2nd.

[Amy]

Loretta just made up for the two balls he let get past him at short.  Two run single to CF.

[Greg M]

Excellent Mark.

[remy]

GO GO MARKLO!

[homer]

Berkman IBB.

[Alkie]

Thank god.

Nice job Mark.

[JaneDoe]

With Berkman struggling so much---why walk him to get to Lee???

[pravata]

That was a major league hit.  Sits for 2 weeks then comes in and pops a 99 mph up the middle.  

[EasTexAstro]

That's right.  Swining.  That's EXACTLY what he was doing.

What was more likely, Gar....Ausmus strikes out against a man throwing 100 or Brad gets the fucking bunt down and we bring up OP with the lead run on 3B and 1 out?  

Goddammit.

If Brad gets the ball in play, even a grounder to the right side can do the same thing as the bunt. I think it gives the opportunity for something good to happen if the ball gets in safely.

[Alkie]

I'M CALLING IT!   HOME.  RUN.

[homer]

GO GO MARKLO!

Marklar got a marklar that scored two marklars.

[JaneDoe]

GO GO MARKLO!

By the way--What did Milo nickname him---Marky or Loretty?

[EasTexAstro]

By the way--What did Milo nickname him---Marky or Loretty?

Captain....just like me?

[Amy]

By the way--What did Milo nickname him---Marky or Loretty?

Dunno, but I wonder if Burke calls him Loretty, being from Kaintucky and all.

[Bench]

Milo just announced that it is "Ty Webb's" birthday.

[homer]

Flapjack fouls back the heat up and in. Slider in there on the inside 0-2. Heat fouled way down the right field line. Astros have worst record at home since ASB last year. Sharply to 3rd.

[Alkie]

I'M CALLING IT!   HOME.  RUN.

You asshole.  You have to swing at the crippled breaking pitch down the middle if you want your RBI and I get to be right.

Fuck.

[JaneDoe]

Milo just announced that it is "Ty Webb's" birthday.

Who?

[LonghornCDR]

MIlo just wished happy birthday to "Ty Webb".  

[Amy]

Who?

Is that Chevy Chase's character in Caddyshack?

[Bench]

Captain....just like me?

Maybe it was a feature of listening to Milo for a couple hours, but that really cracked me up.

"Hey, at least you earned it!" - Milo's follow up comment to "just like me."

[JaneDoe]

MIlo just wished happy birthday to "Ty Webb".  

Is there an echo in here?
here?
here?

[Amy]

Is this Cody Ross guy related to David Ross?

[homer]

White on.

Ross goes 1-2. Double down the left field line.

[Bench]

Is that Chevy Chase's character in Caddyshack?

Yes.

Ty Webb: Let me tell you a little story? I once knew a guy who could have been a great golfer, could have gone pro, all he needed was a little time and practice. Decided to go to college instead. Went for four years, did pretty well. At the end of his four years, his last semester he was kicked out... You know what for? He was night putting, just putting at night with the fifteen-year-old daughter of the Dean... You know who that guy was Danny?
Danny Noonan: No.
Ty Webb: Take one good guess.
Danny Noonan: Bob Hope?
Ty Webb: Ha ha... No, that guy was Mitch Comstein, my roommate. He was a good guy.

[JaneDoe]

After all it took for us to score a couple of runs, and White gives up a leadoff double.

Darnit.

[Amy]

Did that hit White on the glove or in the gut?

[homer]

Olivo comes even 1-1. Drills one off WHite, ricochet to Loretta, 1-6-3. Ross to 3rd.

[Bench]

Olivo comes even 1-1. Drills one off WHite, richocet to Loretta, 1-6-3. Ross to 3rd.

Damn, this is tense.

[Amy]

Son of a bitch!  Are our relievers just taking turns sucking or what?

[Bench]

Damn, this is tense.

Well... crap.

[homer]

Borchard (infield back) goes 1-1. Lined sharply to left, run scores. Borchard stays at 1st.

[Bench]

Aaron Boone is on the Fish? Who knew?

[JaneDoe]

Son of a bitch!  Are our relievers just taking turns sucking or what?

Now I just need to get that image outta my head. Thanks.

[Bench]

Now I just need to get that image outta my head.

In that case, I wouldn't recommend renting the movie "Shortbus."

[gwat]

DeShaies called El Caballo "Cabrera".

[Amy]

Now I just need to get that image outta my head. Thanks.

HAHA!  Sorry, I didn't mean it literally.  But who knows?

[EasTexAstro]

Is this Cody Ross guy related to David Ross?

Don't know, but....

Cody J. Ross...wife's name is Summer...graduated from Carlsbad High School in 1999, earning Baseball America's Second-Team High School All-American honors during his senior season...batted .525 (34-for-60) with 12 home runs, 45 RBI and 15 stolen bases...also threw a perfect game during his high school career...batted against Phil Mickelson in the golfer's tryout with the Toledo Mud Hens in 2003...originally signed by Tigers' scout Jim Olander.

Best I could do.

http://www.mlb.com/team/player_career.jsp?player_id=425496

[homer]

Aaron Fucking Boone PH, goes 1-1. Chases a 95mph (i didn't know white threw that hard) down and out, 1-2. 2-2 on a ball down and in. Bouncer to Ensberg who takes it on the short hop, 5-3. Shitbag to 2nd, 2 down.

[Bench]

HAHA!  Sorry, I didn't mean it literally.  But who knows?

And Hanley steps up to the plate.  How appropriate.

[JaneDoe]

DeShaies called El Caballo "Cabrera".

I'm gonna start calling him El Cabrito again.  He seems to respond by killing the ball.

[pravata]

Yes.

Ty Webb: Let me tell you a little story? I once knew a guy who could have been a great golfer, could have gone pro, all he needed was a little time and practice. Decided to go to college instead. Went for four years, did pretty well. At the end of his four years, his last semester he was kicked out... You know what for? He was night putting, just putting at night with the fifteen-year-old daughter of the Dean... You know who that guy was Danny?
Danny Noonan: No.
Ty Webb: Take one good guess.
Danny Noonan: Bob Hope?
Ty Webb: Ha ha... No, that guy was Mitch Comstein, my roommate. He was a good guy.

Lacey: Would you like to tie me up with some of your ties, Ty?
Ty: I've got a good idea. Let's pretend...we're really human beings.

(NOONAN! NOONAN! MISS, MISS IT)

[homer]

Handjob takes a breaker in for strike 1. 1-1. HOLY SHIT, strike right there for ball 2. 3-1. Deep slicer outside the pole in right, 3-2. Checks the swing on a pitch in, appeal denied. 2 on, 2 down.

[Bench]

Oy. Sucks for Wandy, as well as the rest of the team.

[homer]

Uggla takes the breaker for strike 1. Revert up in the pen. Hot one into right, Borchard scores. FUCK. 1st and 2nd.

[Bench]

Uggla takes the breaker for strike 1. Revert up in the pen. Hot one into right, Borchard scores. FUCK. 1st and 2nd.

And now M. Cabrera is up.

I'm suitably concerned.

[pravata]

And now M. Cabrera is up.

I'm suitably concerned.

As well you should be.

[gwat]

I guess if White stays in there long enough, he'll learn to pitch right.

[Amy]

Are the bullpen guys conspiring to try to take the heat off Lidge by taking turns giving up games?  I think they are.  I think the only one who hasn't coughed one up yet is Moehler, only because Gar won't let him pitch.

[Mr. Happy]

Fuck. Wandy deserved better. Get out of the fucking inning, fatso.

[homer]

Miggy goes 1-1. 2-1. White isn't liking these calls, pullin a Wandy on every close one. Blows one by at 95, 2-2. Qualls up too. FB out, full count. Pops up som trash down and in to Scott in short right.

[Bench]

Are the bullpen guys conspiring to try to take the heat off Lidge by taking turns giving up games?  I think they are.  I think the only one who hasn't coughed one up yet is Moehler, only because Gar won't let him pitch.

I thought we had all agreed they are taking turns sucking.

[pravata]

"Thank you very little."

[Amy]

Wandy did deserve better.  Of course, if the guys could've scored some runs for him earlier, he'd probably still be pitching.

[EasTexAstro]

So, the pattern is, the Astros score and then the fish score the same amount in the top of the next inning.

I say, fool them by scoring again in the 9th.

[homer]

Pinto on.

Ensberg with a can of corn to center. 1 down.

[JaneDoe]

Moberg, 1 pitch, 1 out.  Why did you pick now not to be patient?

[homer]

Pinto throws left, kind of a sweeping moition.

Scott goes 2-0. Dribes Ross to the track just right of the pump.

[Bench]

"Thank you very little."

" A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish."

[pravata]

Moberg, 1 pitch, 1 out.  Why did you pick now not to be patient?

New pitcher in the late innings, he'll probably try to throw a first pitch strike.

[Bench]

Pinto throws left, kind of a sweeping moition.

Scott goes 2-0. Dribes Ross to the track just right of the pump.

The Good Guys are displaying some serious warning track power tonight.

[pravata]

Pinto on.

Ensberg with a can of corn to center. 1 down.

"Why Pinto?" "Why not?!!"

[homer]

Messenger on.

Peepers goes 0-2, can't check on the breaker outside. Chases another breaker for the K.

[Bench]

Unfortunately, the Ty Webb line that best sums up tonight's effort:

"I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself. "

[pravata]

Messenger on.

Peepers goes 0-2, can't check on the breaker outside. Chases another breaker for the K.

Your uncle molests collies.

[homer]

White stays on.

Willingham goes 2-0. 3-0. 3-1. 3-2 on a pitch I swear has been called a ball. Can o corn to Peepers, who seems to make it exciting with some feet shuffling.

Revert on.

[Bench]

Your uncle molests collies.

What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; How come you're here?

[homer]

Your uncle molests collies.

You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?

[pravata]

White stays on.

Willingham goes 2-0. 3-0. 3-1. 3-2 on a pitch I swear has been called a ball. Can o corn to Peepers, who seems to make it exciting with some feet shuffling.

Revert on.

Probably just a routine emergency.

[Amy]

ESPN foofs are analyzing the waste of a couple of beers and a slice of pizza in the stands at Fenway.  Way to earn your money guys.

[homer]

Revert on.

Jacobs (lefty) takes a breaker for strike 1. Rips one into right. 1 on, 1 down.

[homer]

Burke to 2nd, Lane to CF, Bidge to the Bench. Qualls on.

[Amy]

Marlins announcers say Jacobs is five for his last nine ABs against LHPs.

[pravata]

Burke to 2nd, Lane to CF, Bidge to the Bench. Qualls on.

Bidge stays in Burke is out,  "You'll get nothing and like it!"

[Amy]

Bidge stays in Burke is out,  "You'll get nothing and like it!"

Good.  Bidge is the guy with two hits tonight and it is a tie game.

[homer]

Qualls on.

Ross goes 1-1 on a high strike. 2-1. Chases one in the dirt, 2-2. Fouled away, 2-2. K swinging on a slider, 2 down.

[Bench]

Bidge stays in Burke is out,  "You'll get nothing and like it!"

I realize it's a tie game, and tonight Gar's got to save some bullets in his gun.

But in this situation up a run, don't you think it should be Loretta to 2nd, Lane to center and Everett to short?

Nice job Chad.

[homer]

Olivo backs out on strike 1. Can't check it up on strike 2. Chases a nasty one in for the K.

[Amy]

Marlins guys: "And he went around.  67 years of age is Bruce Froemming down at first base."

Are they saying those two things are related?

[remy]

Lets win this.  Who do we have coming up?  Milo is no help.

[pravata]

I realize it's a tie game, and tonight Gar's got to save some bullets in his goal.

But in this situation up a run, don't you think it should be Loretta to 2nd, Lane to center and Everett to short?

Nice job Chad.

I've often thought of entering the priesthood.  JD says of Olivo, "no need to throw him a strike" and Chad didn't.

[Bench]

Marlins guys: "And he went around.  67 years of age is Bruce Froemming down at first base."

Are they saying those two things are related?

Of course.

They're getting their notes from Milo.

[pravata]

Lets win this.  Who do we have coming up?  Milo is no help.

Peepers was last out, so Ausmus, Lane Biggio

[Bench]

I've often thought of entering the priesthood.  JD says of Olivo, "no need to throw him a strike" and Chad didn't.

Oh, are you roman catholic?

Oh then, I'm sorry. But, I'm afraid you can't come.

[Amy]

Crap!  That's some shitty luck for Brad.

[homer]

Ausmus goes 2-0. 2-1, sends a pop down the right field line which Uggla corrals in foul territory. 1 down.

[Bench]

Come on Bidge. Me winning isn't. You do.

[homer]

Lane goes 1-1. 2-1. Pop to Jacobs by the Astros dugout, 2 down.

[Amy]

Ausmus goes 2-0. 2-1, sends a pop down the right field line which Uggla corrals in foul territory. 1 down.

Yep, Uggla went a long way to make that catch, ball coming over his head.

[JaneDoe]

Good.  Bidge is the guy with two hits tonight and it is a tie game.

I hope he hasn't reached his limit.

[Amy]

Come on Bidge. Me winning isn't. You do.

Good one.

[JaneDoe]

Right down the middle.

[homer]

Bidge draws even 2-2. K looking on the corner.

[Bench]

Good one.

The appropriate response is "Great grammar."

Unfortunately, it wasn't good enough. On to the ninth!

[remy]

shitty mcshit.

[Amy]

Right down the middle.

Looked like outside corner on my TV.

[pravata]

Bidge draws even 2-2. K looking on the corner.

Ty: You take drugs, Danny?
Noonan: Every day.
Ty: Good. What's the problem?

[Bench]

And there's the move I was looking for. Loretta to second, Bidge out, Everett in.

[homer]

Ty: You take drugs, Danny?
Noonan: Every day.
Ty: Good. What's the problem?

Remember Danny - Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.

[pravata]

And there's the move I was looking for. Loretta to second, Bidge out, Everett in.

Just waiting for the K looking

[homer]

AE to short, Loretta to 2nd, Bidge to the bench.

Qualls still on.

Borchard goes 2-1 on a pitch that I promise has been a strike this evening. Bouncer to Qualls, 1-3.

[Bench]

Qualls is nasty tonight. Doodie!

[Amy]

Man that last sinker from Qualls was filthy!

[homer]

Wood PH, goes 0-2 on a tight slider outside. Chases another slider for K. 2 down.

[Bench]

Ensberg has flashed the leather tonight!

[homer]

Handjob blows his load on a fastball under his hands. Strike 1. Sinker down, 1-1. Sinker down fouled, 1-2. Brownie says Qualls is in sync. Slider RIGHT FUCKING THERE on the outside corner, 2-2. Overthrows one for 3-2. Fouls one off. Sinker to Mo, taken on the short hop, 5-3.

[homer]

Marklar-Puma-Flapjack due.

[Bench]

Handjob blows his load on a fastball under his hands. Strike 1. Sinker down, 1-1. Sinker down fouled, 1-2. Brownie says Qualls is in sync. Slider RIGHT FUCKING THERE on the outside corner, 2-2. Overthrows one for 3-2. Fouls one off. Sinker to Mo, taken on the short hop, 5-3.

Great showing by Qualls tonight. Simply superb.

[pravata]

In the immortal words of Jean Paul Sartre, 'Au revoir, gopher'.

[Bench]

Marklar-Puma-Flapjack due.

Was it East Tex Astro that proposed throwing them off by scoring in the bottom of the ninth?

[mihoba]

Marklar-Puma-Flapjack due.

Gotta be a run in there somewhere.

[EasTexAstro]

Was it East Tex Astro that proposed throwing them off by scoring in the bottom of the ninth?

yup.

[pravata]

Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga.

[homer]

Gregg on.

Marklar ahead 2-0. 3-0. Lead off walk.

[Amy]

Lance is going to start hitting eventually and when he does somebody's gonna pay big.

[LonghornCDR]

Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga.

Big hitter, the Puma.

[Amy]

Twinkie just tried to hit Olivo's hand out of the ballpark.

[Amy]

Damn, that was the pitch Twinkie!!!

[Bench]

Another Rob Roy, Bishop?

[homer]

Puma takes one wide. Down, 2-0. Gregg is wearing Wild Thing type glasses, with an Ensberg twist. Puma reaches out for one, but foul tip. Cat and mouse. Fuck, strike 2 outside corner. 2-2. Gregg checks on Marklar. FB down, 3-2. JD says 'similar to pitch rung up on in 5th'. Foul back. Up, BB. 1st and 2nd for flapjack.

[Amy]

Well, I'll take the walk.  Come on Lee!

[pravata]

Weeeeell, we're waiting!

[homer]

Another Rob Roy, Bishop?

You never ask a navy man if he'll have another drink, because it's nobody's goddamned business how much he's had already.

[Bench]

You never ask a navy man if he'll have another drink, because it's nobody's goddamned business how much he's had already.

There is no God...

[pravata]

 Cinderella boy. Tears in his eyes, I guess, as he lines up this last shot. He's got about 195 yards left, and he's got a, looks like he's got about an 8 iron. This crowd has gone deadly silent...

[Bench]

 I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.

[Amy]

Cinderella boy. Tears in his eyes, I guess, as he lines up this last shot. He's got about 195 yards left, and he's got a, looks like he's got about an 8 iron. This crowd has gone deadly silent...

Please tell me y'all are looking this stuff up.

[Bench]

I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think.

Well fuck. It seemed right at the time.

[Alkie]

Why aren't you standing on home plate?  Why aren't you stomping out Private Pyle's guts?  

[homer]

Flapjack fouls one back for strike 1. Down and out, 1-1. Popped up foul and out of play to the right. 1-2. Waits back on a breaker, fouls. 1-2. Reaches out for another one, foul. Battling. Into rightfield, past diving Uggla. Manso holds Loretta, ball dropped, but tough shit. Ducks on a pond, no outs.

[LonghornCDR]

RAT FARTS!

[Bench]

Carl Spackler on Morgan Ensberg: "I have to laugh, because I've outsmarted even myself. My enemy, my foe, is an animal. In order to conquer the animal, I have to learn to think like an animal. And, whenever possible, to look like one. I've gotta get inside this guy's pelt and crawl around for a few days."

[Amy]

Come on Mo, be the ball!  I'll take a walk off walk.

[remy]

Damn, how the fuck does Marklo not score there?

[Noe]

Come on MO!

[pravata]

"Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

[HurricaneDavid]

Time for a walk off walk.

[Bench]

Oh man, I hate that Milo has such control over my happiness right now.

[pravata]

uh oh, no glasses

[remy]

Time for a walk off walk.

BrettDave agrees, saying that would be a fitting way to end this walk-fest.

[Amy]

The patented Mo bail move!

[Bench]

Wait up, girls; I got a salami I gotta hide still.

[pravata]

 What, did someone just step on a duck?

[Amy]

OMG, Borchard and Uggla collided and it went off someone's glove for a foul ball!

[Bench]

What the hell happened on that drop?

[remy]

Oh man, I hate that Milo has such control over my happiness right now.

Thank you for that quote.

[Amy]

Single to left for the walk-off!!  WAY TO GO MO!!!

[pravata]

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

[Alkie]

Excellent.  Good night, gentlemen.

[Bench]

That's what they said about Son of Sam.

[homer]

Visit to the mound, infield in, outfield in.

Ensberg takes one up. Outside, 2-0. Fouls a good pitch back, 2-1. Checks up, but called strike ... 2-2. One up near his melon, theatrics, 3-2. JD points out Ensberg doesn't have glasses on. RIGHT DOWN THE CHUTE, fouled back. 4th 3-2 count of the night, seen 25 pitches. Ensberg fouls one back behind the screen. Holy fucking shit, pop up down behind first and Uggla and Borchard collide, no catch. Hit into left, GAME OVER ASTROS WIN!

[MusicMan]

What a fitting end to this game.

[Greg M]

Ensberg is a god!!

[LonghornCDR]

IT'S IN THE HOLE!!

[Bench]

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

The perfect final quote of the night.

[mihoba]

Thanks a ton guys, good job describing the action.

[remy]

And that's the way the cookie crumbles.  Goodnight!

[JaneDoe]

The perfect final quote of the night.

If it were only true.

[pravata]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Adp46w41kCM

[DVauthrin]

Dan Uggla and Joe Borchard definitely made sportscenter tonight.   And a host of other blooper reels.

[Noe]

Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman.

[Amy]

Dan Uggla and Joe Borchard definitely made sportscenter tonight.   And a host of other blooper reels.

I don't know, the mo-rons at ESPN might still be watching the guy at Fenway throwing a slice of pizza at the two guys who spilled their beers trying to mug Garrett Anderson.  They probably missed the whole thing.

[Bench]

This place got a pool?

[pravata]

Let me just clean up here. I'm getting ready for the season.

[Limey]

Me either, it was nice though.  As Froemming headed to the plate, Ausmus shook his hand and patted him on the shoulder, congratulating him.  Froemming has been umpiring since Ausmus was a year old.  That's not nothing.

Froemming's also behind HP tomorrow night.

[Amy]

Froemming's also behind HP tomorrow night.

Well our Bradley is no dummy.

[mihoba]

Well our Bradley is no dummy.

"What do you do for a living?"

"I take a lot of shit and kiss a little ass. What do YOU do?"