Author Topic: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season  (Read 6299 times)

pravata

  • Guest
Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« on: April 01, 2007, 12:33:51 pm »
Empty baseball field
— A robin,
Hops along the bench
— Jack Kerouac
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-haiku31mar31,0,5789018.story?coll=la-opinion-rightrail

From a new anthology called Baseball Haiku edited by Cor Van den Heuvel  http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=9264826

headhunter

  • Veteran Role Player
  • Posts: 336
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2007, 09:47:49 pm »
first game new season
insane fans chat all winter
survive void again
my probation officer is real proud of me
I drive an Olds 88 got the devil on a leash...
I'm going out West...

CrawfordBoxes

  • Veteran Role Player
  • Posts: 252
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2007, 01:47:40 am »
first game new season
insane fans chat all winter
survive void again

I like it
Make a runnnnnnnn!!!!

remy

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 2571
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2007, 07:09:52 am »
the roof is open
boys of summer take the field
where is hunter pence

Andyzipp

  • Guest
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2007, 07:34:47 am »
The ball moves swiftly
No curve, straight and true. Wide eyes.
Morgan takes a seat.

strosrays

  • Guest
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #5 on: April 02, 2007, 08:30:41 am »

Roy O. cruising 'til
Jason Bay dents the façade
Canuck peckerwood.

geezerdonk

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3342
  • a long tradition of existence
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #6 on: April 02, 2007, 08:45:57 am »
cycling stop light
opening game failed squeeze play
Budweiser reflux
E come vivo? Vivo.

Phil_in_CS

  • Should Have Quit 500 Posts Ago
  • Posts: 1511
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #7 on: April 02, 2007, 09:24:00 am »
the roof is open
boys of summer take the field
where is hunter pence

He is at Round Rock
Getting at bats and fielding
Be back very soon

WTFisTerryPuhl

  • Clark
  • Posts: 20
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2007, 09:27:09 am »
Three on and one out
Brad Ausmus is at the plate
Here comes double play

MRaup

  • Fantasy Team Owner
  • Double Super Secret Pope
  • Posts: 11432
  • The goddamn Germans ain't got nothin to do with it
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #9 on: April 02, 2007, 10:03:09 am »
Moberg takes a walk
Berkman doubles to the wall.
Flapjack 3 run bomb.
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." - Norm.

"Your words yield destruction, sorrow and are meant just to hate and hurt..." - Das

JackAstro

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 3824
    • View Profile
    • Twitter
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #10 on: April 02, 2007, 10:03:48 am »
It's not the same since
The Wilson Sisters broke up
I miss the fat one
"We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you?"
Say hi on the Twitter

Foghorn

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 2839
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #11 on: April 02, 2007, 10:11:36 am »
It's not the same since
The Wilson Sisters broke up
I miss the fat one

Cam Bonifay sucks
Cam Bonifay sucks big dicks
Cam Bonifay sucks

(works great when ridiculing the old Pirates GM or the poster formerly known as Cam Bonifay, who I know is reading this.  Hiya Cam!!!  Hope your vaginal warts cleared up you big pussy!!!)
You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy, I don't give a shit. Good father, fuck you. Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here, close. You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit?

Phil_in_CS

  • Should Have Quit 500 Posts Ago
  • Posts: 1511
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #12 on: April 02, 2007, 10:18:15 am »
Three on and one out
Brad Ausmus is at the plate
Here comes double play

Tying run at 3rd
F Bomb slider in the dirt
Bud Girl leaps with joy


TangerineDream

  • Disappointing Rookie
  • Posts: 68
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #13 on: April 02, 2007, 11:27:57 am »
It's not the same since
The Wilson Sisters broke up
I miss the fat one


Starr Jones Reynolds
Carnie Wilson
Bitches skinny now

homer

  • Pope
  • Posts: 6509
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #14 on: April 02, 2007, 11:41:03 am »

Starr Jones Reynolds
Carnie Wilson
Bitches skinny now

bottom 3%
Oye. Vamos, vamos.

Houston

  • Should Have Quit 500 Posts Ago
  • Posts: 1249
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #15 on: April 02, 2007, 11:53:58 am »
Roy O. cruising 'til
Jason Bay dents the façade
Canuck peckerwood.

Sad to say, but this one made me laugh out loud. Maybe it's because I'd never call anybody that, not even Alkie.

(Just kidding, Zach.)
"I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it." - Rogers Hornsby

Houston

  • Should Have Quit 500 Posts Ago
  • Posts: 1249
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #16 on: April 02, 2007, 12:00:41 pm »
Baseball, where'd you go
Gone during the coldest months
All's forgiven now.
"I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it." - Rogers Hornsby

Ty in Tampa

  • Contributor
  • Pope
  • Posts: 9111
  • You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #17 on: April 02, 2007, 02:25:58 pm »
Opening day blues
900-plus miles away
my best-loved team plays
"You want me broken. You want me dead.
I'm living rent-free in the back of your head."

HurricaneDavid

  • Should Have Quit 500 Posts Ago
  • Posts: 1775
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #18 on: April 02, 2007, 02:47:07 pm »
Downstairs couch empty, cable off
Squinting at my dot TV
Blind at 27, screw you Selig
"Ground ball right side, they're not gonna be able to turn two OR ARE THEY, THROW, IS IN TIME!!! WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE TURN BY BRUNTLETT AND EVERETT, AND THEY CUT DOWN MABRY TO END THE GAME, AND THE ASTROS LEAD THIS NATIONAL LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES THREE GAMES TO ONE!!!!!"

catAstrofy

  • Roster Filler
  • Posts: 176
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #19 on: April 02, 2007, 02:47:24 pm »
Stupid clark assholes
Coming out of the woodwork
Make them go away

Jacksonian

  • Contributor
  • Double Super Secret Pope
  • Posts: 12893
  • Anonymous Source
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #20 on: April 02, 2007, 02:55:18 pm »
Stupid clark assholes
Coming out of the woodwork
Make them go away

Gayest avatar
Blinding innocent reader
Die horrible death
Goin' for a bus ride.

mihoba

  • Contributor
  • Pope
  • Posts: 6840
  • R.I.P. Mike. The boy inside you is now free.
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #21 on: April 02, 2007, 03:13:42 pm »
The last hurrah of pigpen
On the path to enshrinement
Only seventy more
"Baseball is simply a better game without the DH. "

Limey

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 32079
  • Tally Ho!
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #22 on: April 02, 2007, 03:21:27 pm »
Oswalt takes the mound
Less that two hours later
Post a "W"
« Last Edit: April 02, 2007, 03:27:38 pm by Limey »
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.

ValpoCory

  • Should Have Quit 500 Posts Ago
  • Posts: 2461
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #23 on: April 02, 2007, 04:07:48 pm »
Ev'rett in the 2 spot
Holy Shit not this again
Mo will knock him in.

JimR

  • Contributor
  • High Order of the Ferret
  • *****
  • Posts: 29345
    • View Profile
    • McGinnis, Lochridge & Kilgore, LLP
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #24 on: April 02, 2007, 04:12:18 pm »
      Burke in center field
      Biggio chasing glory
      Astros pitchers cringe
Often wrong, but never in doubt.

T. J.

  • Should Have Quit 500 Posts Ago
  • Posts: 1798
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #25 on: April 02, 2007, 04:15:53 pm »
Haikus are easy.  Give me a double-dactyl any day.

Higgledy piggledy
Craig Alan Biggio
With his careeer has made
The Hall of Fame

Semi-incredibly
Even after all that
Some dumb announcer will
Fuck up his name

Jacksonian

  • Contributor
  • Double Super Secret Pope
  • Posts: 12893
  • Anonymous Source
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #26 on: April 02, 2007, 04:20:33 pm »
      Burke in center field
      Biggio chasing glory
      Astros pitchers cringe

Astros pitchers pray
Third base side of plate is spot
Everett vacuums
Goin' for a bus ride.

Navin R Johnson

  • Key Member of the Conspiracy
  • Posts: 4882
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #27 on: April 02, 2007, 04:29:49 pm »
7.50 beers
Sherriff Blaylock Cheese Nachos
Need extra TP
There are three rules that I live by: never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body. Now you stick to that, and everything else is cream cheese.

strosrays

  • Guest
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #28 on: April 02, 2007, 05:03:22 pm »
First base dugout seats
Roof open to beautiful sky
Ray-Bans 'til 7th

MRaup

  • Fantasy Team Owner
  • Double Super Secret Pope
  • Posts: 11432
  • The goddamn Germans ain't got nothin to do with it
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #29 on: April 02, 2007, 05:13:50 pm »
First base dugout seats
Roof open to beautiful sky
Ray-Bans 'til 7th

Strosrays, you're on effin fire m'man!
"Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer." - Norm.

"Your words yield destruction, sorrow and are meant just to hate and hurt..." - Das

Bill McLuggage

  • Prime Time Player
  • Posts: 752
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #30 on: April 02, 2007, 10:02:43 pm »
Waste time on haiku
Bunch of online baseball nerds
Oh shit, I am one
How can you ask me a question like that?  Do you ask The Beatles that??

homer

  • Pope
  • Posts: 6509
    • View Profile
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #31 on: April 02, 2007, 10:05:55 pm »
Waste time on haiku
Bunch of online baseball nerds
Oh shit, I am one

HOF
Oye. Vamos, vamos.

gleach

  • Prime Time Player
  • Posts: 543
    • View Profile
    • Allison's Page
Re: Haiku for the first off day of the 2007 season
« Reply #32 on: April 03, 2007, 08:40:59 am »
Oswalt getting gassed
make the call to the bullpen
opening day blues
I love Geoff Leach.  Every day.